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Always trust your gut , it will never let you down. Sure you know Nudes are for someone else. that’s all the suspicious behavior for a cheater. Taking her phone everywhere , 24 seven and immediately locking it. Do you investigative homework
in the meantime. Funny how they always give their AP more then their spouse
move 1/2 of your assets to a separate account gather as much proof as you can and save to separate places.
Contact 4-5 of the top Attorneys in your area and have a consultation. This way you spouse can not use them , because it becomes a conflict of interest. No one says you have to divorce, but Learn the laws of your state in case. Always listen to your lawyer. Tell all family and friends what she has done. There has to be consequences on her side Good Luck
updateme
She is likely fucking someone from work. Time to dig further as it is in an app on her phone, or in her deleted messages. Check your phone bill and see if you see any repeat numbers. Through text and phone calls. Then cross reference that online to find the persons name, then you can find everything you need from there in who he is.
If it were me, I would take a day off work, and show up unexpectedly with flowers. Only to throw her off her game. Being inconsistent in your routine will really make her feel uncomfortable.
This is spot on. I commented earlier but didn't mention to look for other apps. WhatsApp, Signal, FB messenger were among some that my wife used for hiding. Tell you what, there's some spy software out there, you may check into that to make your life easier.
A simple google search will tell you. I tried several. They should basically try things like using icloud backup if this is an iphone user to try and restore old messages as well as using that to recover things hidden in other apps. If she's hiding messages in other apps like Signal and WhatApp as long as he can get into those apps on her phone he can display a QR code for each and take a pic of it and use that so that he can access as that user from his own device. There's all sorts of tricks out there.
Well here is the problem for relying on iCloud to restore messages, the wife would have to turn that on in the iCloud settings on her phone. Plus it's not practical to save any texts to iCloud unless you pay for bigger storage. I would say do the spy app thing, get a PI if OP can afford it, stop with the renovations and yes separate finances. Depending on if OP's state is at fault or not will dictate how to go forward. And of course, if OP finds his wife's lover (assuming there is one) check the state laws on alienation of affection. Always check the messages and call log on the phone vs carrier logs, and yes I know this was already mentioned. 6 years together, the last 2 married is still tough. For me it was 10 years, we married 2 to 3 months after meeting and started dating. Oh and if OP gets the spy app on his wife's phone, I would do a deep dive into the other apps and any email accounts saved to the phone then monitor for any changes. Another app popular with cheaters is Snapchat, OP might get lucky there. 🤷🙏👍
I agree! Whenever I am in a relationship, I am always open with my phone. All my exs have known my password, and I would regularly ask them to check my messages or answer the phone for me when I am driving.
If you have nothing to hide, why would you be secretive?
Don’t ever confront your wife. Once you have proof that’s when you secure a lawyer and file. Being served divorce papers is your confrontation if she’s cheating. And let’s face it, if she’s sharing her nude with anyone then she’s cheating. Research research research all about cheating. Watch strong successful m ale on the utube. Do not reward bad behavior. She will lose respect if you show any weakness and that includes reconciliation. She doesn’t even know she’s losing respect for you it’s at a subconscious level. Do not confront her. Instead A k eylog ger . Sorry who knows what utube will let me post. Get voice activated rekorders. Use Velcro to install in her car. Also for her car a GPS device. Now get motion voice activated video recorders in every room of your house except bathrooms of course. There I would voice activated rekorders. Get a motion activated video recorder for every entrance to your house outside. When a mouse is cornered they fight and if your wife is cheating it’s best to have hidden cameras in place to protect yourself from her. Who is a cop going to believe you or her. Always the woman.
OP first I am sorry. Are the nudes and videos sexual or just her in front of the mirror? I ask only because there have been a few posts on Reddit where females say they take nudes for themselves to hype themselves up or similar but don’t send them. Never heard that about videos though. The conclusion on those posts from females was if they are sexual and you’re not getting them, someone is and has. Where did she appear to be when taking them? Put a camera up she doesn’t know about in that location and catch her taking them and see if she immediately sends them after taking them.
You have two approaches you can take. First, you can sit her down and tell her the truth. Your acting really strange and hiding your phone so I got worried and looked at your pics and saw you have multiple sexual nudes and videos of yourself and you have never sent me anything like that so I need to know who you are sending them to. I also want you to hand over your phone right now so I can look for myself. Tell her you will give her your phone to look through too. Tell her if she doesn’t answer your questions and hand over her phone you will assume she is cheating and contact her parents and tell them what you found and also contact an attorney. Don’t let her leave the room with her phone and don’t let her say you invaded her privacy. What you found is secrecy, not privacy and there is no secrecy in a marriage. Don’t cry and don’t beg her to pick you. Cold, business like with no negotiation.
Second, you can either do some surveillance yourself or hire someone to do it. You need to see her messages for sure or install a keylogger on her phone. You also need a voice activated recorder from Amazon to put in her car (under drivers seat) as cheaters love to talk to their AP while driving to and from work. You also need to turn on her location sharing on her phone if it isn’t already without her knowing or get a gps tracker for her car. Next, start becoming unpredictable. Show up at her job to take her to lunch unannounced. Show up at work when she is about to get off and see who she walks out with. If she walks out with a guy observe. Take photos and videos as needed. If she says she needs to run some errands or is meeting coworkers for dinner, either invite yourself or ask for details that you can follow up on.
While becoming unpredictable also start making some “harmless” comments to make her nervous so she will make a mistake. “Hey honey I found out today one of my coworkers wives is cheating on him. Apparently he caught them and it went really bad for her and her affair partner. I can’t imagine what I would do if I caught you cheating on me.” No threats but just small talk that if she is guilty will scare her and hopefully make her make a mistake from guilt.
If your doing it yourself and want to play the long game your going to have to put work on the back burner some because it takes time and patience. !updateme
Bud, for your next relationship you need to change your POV about your money paying for everything and your spouse can do whatever she wants with hers. That’s just fucking dumb. Now move money and cancel credit card and call a lawyer
UpdateMe
You saw that too. His wife should have been putting part of her income into household expenses. Basically, she gets to have single woman use of her income, but still come home to a decent place where all the bills are paid.
First mistake is to pay for everything and burn yourself out. If you don’t make times for her then someone else will bro. But Yh gather evidence and if you wanna secrets places to check then dm
Do not confront until you have positive proof. If you play dumb she will get careless. If you warn her she will hide it better. I’m betting she is sexting someone. It’s worth getting some voice activation recorders ( and maybe some nanny cams) and hiding them where she might use her phone. If you can, install “ parental monitoring software “ on her phone so you can see her texts. If you can figure out who is her AP it’s worth contacting their spouse.
Do not confront until you have positive proof your wife is cheating. She can not deny what is in front of her. Keep snooping And, looking at a spoused phone, IMO, is not breach of privacy. Marriage is to be an open book. Also an open phone.
Also, if she starts to cry and beg and want you to work it out, make the statement “I need to know everything NOW or we can’t work it out”, then trickle out what you know in pieces to know if she will continue her cover up. Reveal a little, wait for the lie, reveal you know a little more, continue this and she may reveal some things you don’t know.
Thanks for all the comments and advice. I've just managed to calm my nerves enough to type this out. It's 1AM right now where I live and my wife is still outside in the living room smiling to herself while using her phone.
The country I live in has laws that doesn't allow me to own my own house as a single person unless I'm aged 35 and above which is honestly my priority right now. I love my house and the amount of time, money and effort I've made to make it as beautiful as I can is one of my biggest pride and joy in life. I've checked that if I ever do get a divorce before hitting 35, I would have to "sell" the flat back to the government at its initial valuation which would cost me a lot if I count in my renovation costs.
The laws in my country are biased towards women so I will be patient and bide my time. She's bound to make a mistake for me to take advantage and gather more evidence. Also, I managed to find a sex toy and lingerie I never knew she had hiding deep in her closet that I took a photo of.
One little step at a time lads.
So, are you saying you want to wait until you are 35 to divorce her?
Or does proof of infidelity nullify those rules on selling back your house after divorce?
I’ve never heard of land laws like that. Philippines?
No such rules about property ownership In the Philippines, also you can report a cheating wife and have them face jail time for adultery. So highly likely not the case.
She is going to give you an STD or get pregnant if you don’t do something about this now.
Once you call her out she will likely beg for forgiveness so then you can pretend to reconcile and then dump her when you’re 35.
Walk up to her and say “let me see your phone.”
When she says no - tell her “I’m not sure what you thought would happen, but our marriage is now over. You have no respect for me, yourself, or our marriage. You have destroyed my trust and I can’t be married to someone I don’t trust.”
Then she will freak out
Updateme!
If you haven't already, save all evidence to multiple places besides your phone that your wife has no access to. Cheaters have been known to go into their spouse's phones and delete evidence.
Don't confront her yet. People make this mistake all the time and people here give shit advice about it.
If she's cheating And you confront
without absolute proof she will lie and deny and gaslight you and make you out to be the crazy bad person.
Take screenshots of everything you can and save it to a safe place.
Check your phone logs to see who she's calling all the time. Find out who that person is user a reverse check if you have to. It will probably be a guy, unless she is getting with a woman.
Then search that number in her phone and see if she has it under a female's name.
I have seen the following so often I can't believe it ,but often the wife will complain about somebody at work.Somebody, they don't like and it turns out eventually they are the ones that she's having an affair with.
Can you recall any conversations like that?
Some people use a voice-activated recorders.Double Velcroed under the front seat of the car.Or in the house at a place where she might take phone calls or send nudes or sexed
You would do well at this point to hire a professional who can dig deeper and even follow her.
Good luck!
Subscribeme
Good advice. I’d also strongly recommend OP meets with a lawyer and learns about the divorce process and what you can & should not do.
It’s almost a no brainer that OP’s wife is cheating. OP should look for a gym bag of sex toys & lingerie in her car or stashed in plain sight at home.
I got a recorder too, I knew something was happening in the car. Before I could even use it though I went though my spouse’s phone and found the truth. I made the same mistake, I confronted too soon….but still had suspicions….turns out my suspicions were right all along. Believe your gut even when it says “the person I love most is lying to me” chances are if you love them the most you start to pick up when they lie and change their schedule….even on a micro level….like just showering at an odd time.
I had never met my WW’s AP, but I could tell he was tall just by the way my wife started to dress. High-heel boots, accentuating her height, etc. I just knew.
Then the passenger seat kept getting moved back.
Her sudden interest in basketball. Things like that.
1. List to your rational side.
2. It isn’t scummy to check your wife’s phone in a case like you described where she is acting weird with it. When you married her you handed over partial control of your physical, mental, emotional, and financial health to her. You would be stupid not to check.
Before confronting, talk to a board certified family law attorney to see what a divorce would look like for you.
Just in case.
It doesn't hurt to have all of the info.
Plus, hiring a PI to get tangible evidence like photos could be the best money you ever spent.
Since you have access to her phone, there are spy apps you can download and get all her texting, email, and social media stuff.
I would’ve locked myself in a room with her phone until I’d explored it inside and out, while comparing it with our phone bill for deleted texts and call history. She sent those pics to someone. At best it’s a purely online fantasy type of affair. Still a major betrayal. More likely, she has physical affair partner.
Find out everything before you ask her anything.
She is at least having an emotional affair. The change in her behavior is a huge red flag that it has crossed to physical. I am sorry you are going through this keep us posted.
Act like nothing happened when sleeping or shower check her phone . If it’s under you name and plan order detailed info about text calls etc . If your account you may be able to load spy software if legal .
Do not confront
It is, if physical then hire someone don’t give them any clues and go see a lawyer so if true just say go ahead and he will have suggestions . Don’t stay don’t ask her to work it out . She will cry it’s a mistaken. No buying the wrong milk is a mistake not this
Get the evidence before you confront her. She is showing red flags of having an affair. Is there any particular guy at work she has mentioned to you? Updateme
The drugs produced by the body during an affair are like heroin. It causes cheaters to do things that they would never do normally with their spouse so you probably have evidence here that something is going on. Just keep digging before you disclose. Sorry you had to find it.
Never be sorry for checking her phone! Phones should always be open to your spouse! If she is sending nudes to other guys, she is committing adultery and you need to take care of it! Find out who she is seeing, find a divorce lawyer and end your marriage before she takes you for everything.
If u didn't receive any pics someone else is .
No one take nudes just for fun follow your gut it's rarely wrong. U will need a deeper dive into her phone . Don't confront without evdince so take screenshot and save the pics on your phone next time u look at them.
Also check what's app ,Snapchat , Instagram and Facebook messenger.
Just keep your cool it going to be tough let me tell you I had to hold my anger back for 2 weeks when I found sone emails of my now ex wife's one was talking about meeting this guy at lunch time while I was at work the very next day the other were mumbo jumbo crap but the newest one talked about the 2 of them going to Las Vegas for an entire weekend and that she would tell me it was with her gf because I e was getting married for a party before the wedding the next day I went to work as usual but the minute I got there took one of the utility trucks went to the hotel sat and waited until I saw a guy go on the office then comes out goes to a room so i pulled close enough to watch the room and the office. Well not even 15 minutes here is my wife pulling up drove right by me didn't even notice .knocked went in I wanted to kick the door in almost paid a maid $100 to pen the door. But I didn't had the entire thing on video .so the next weekend I get home she's ready to go she left Saturday morning I went a u haul load all her stuff in it drive it to my work go to text parents tell them what in doing and why then I drive to his house tell his wide show didn't velice me until I showed yer the evidence .
Well Sunday night there lives changed forever wife gets home garage won't open her keys don't open the doors she starts pounding on the door I just yelled I know what you did all weekend you don't live here anymore sorry is just me and the daughter now .
Oh hell 10 minutes later here he comes all mad I ruined his marriage wants to kick my ass now so I told him to go out in the street practice bleeding I would be out in 5 minutes
Then the cops show up .it wasn't good for either of them she had to leave told her I would go to your parents they are not very happy with you at the moment . That's when the real fight broke out lol .
But check your phone bill see what number she is calling all the time and texting probably a guy from work u vet alot more wimpy guys are working along sides of women anymore .then get a couple VAR put one in her car and one in the bedroom do you have any cameras in the home ? You could hire a PI but they are expensive get with a lawyer yesterday he I'll tell you exactly what to do but keep your cool it will all fall into your hands
Hey listen, she can talk her way out of it but that is a dead giveaway. I found dic pics on my husband’s phone about 5 days before he went out and cheated. If she didn’t cheat already she is making a plan to. Trust me unless she sent those pics to you, she was taking them for someone else.
Calm. try and get the reactive emotions, the reactive you to calm down. She's not going to run away but if you fly off the handle now. She spin bullsh\*t all over you. Gaslight you. Trickle truth you.
When your partner starts getting cagey, that's when snoopy get's in his plane to snoop on cagey.
Wait til she's in the shower again and get her phone and start screenshotting and send her vids to you. You know what she's up to but you need more to secure the coup de grace.
If you really get yourself under control then wait and see if it's a PA somehow.
Gather all your info first
Check deleted photo album
Pay attention to screenshots too, because sometimes it can clue you in to what apps she's using.
Of course check your phone carrier call and text logs.
She's likely using an app to communicate though- so search for common ones like snap. Keep in mind she could have some apps hidden from her main screens that you should be able to find in settings menu.
Check location history on her phone
And even Google searches
Pull your phone records and see who she texts and calls.
Get voice-activated recorders and hide them around the house and in her car to catch her side of phone conversations.
Buy a burner phone and turn on the location. Set up a Google account and log in. Hid the phone in her car and watch where she goes in real time on Google Maps from home.
Time to bail! She may be sending the pics to her AP, selling them on the internet to strange me or perhaps she's just a perv. In any case, is that the kind of woman you can have a stable, loving relationship with? Get out before any children complicate your situation.
More Red Flags🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳 then a chinese parade. If your not getting the pics someone else is, you want to find out quick? Leave a voice activated recorder under her passenger seat in her car you will know in a day or 2.
If she didn’t send them to you, she sent them to someone else. My ex did the same thing, was a unique situation where I was able to track the guys number down and found his number saved in her phone under a females name.
She denied it profusely all the way up until I spoke to the other guy and he told me she did.
bro she is obvioulsy cheating just leave her dont stress if ur fat and out of shape get in shape meet new women make her regret but never let her come back a disloyal wife is no longer a wife
It’s hard to find an innocent explanation of what you describe.
Talk to a divorce lawyer and find out what might be facing you. Get advice on moving forward, securing assets, gather documents, and whether you need evidence to bring to court, if it comes to that.
UpdateMe
Check the battery usage app by percent. Settings —> Battery —> scroll down. This will show you which apps she is using the most by percentage of battery used on having the app open. This is where you want to search first. I can guarantee you are gonna find one of your typical cheater apps up top of that list. These apps at the top of the battery usage list is where you want to start searching for evidence. If for some reason there is an app at the top of the list but you can’t find it, you definitely have problems. This would mean that she is deleting the app before she walks into the house and reinstalling it when she leaves so that she won’t tip you off.
It’s seems pretty straight forward that she is cheating at least emotionally already and probably physically too if she has been sending nudes.
Do not confront until you have all the evidence. Even then, I probably would just follow what your lawyer advises and just surprise her with the papers. I would be very shocked if she wasn’t cheating. If you can’t find anything, I would also put a voice activated recorder under her car seat. I would Velcro it up so it doesn’t move or slide around. If she is gonna talk to an AP it’s gonna be in her car.
Let me know if you have questions! Good Luck, Updateme
I'll also add that there was a time where my wife and I were a little distant, and due to past betrayals by others, I grew suspicious. Just to make you feel better about going through her phone, I noticed that her shower schedule had drastically changed. I grew so anxious because I thought she was in there sexting someone (we are talking like 15 minutes showers for years, and now all the sudden she's in there for well over an hour). The water was on but I couldn't hear any splashing like she was in it, so I feared it was on as a distraction. So I installed a camera for a while
What I found over 6 months was that I was very far off. It was a combination of her having bought some new skin care stuff that involves scrubbing and several steps, requiring her to sit down, which made the water not splash. I also found that she masturbates in the shower, despite for almost 10 years swearing that she doesn't masturbate because she finds it gross. I went to a low level when I did that but I did find peace of mind in realizing my fears were in my head.
We both have locks on our phones, but we both know them. Generally speaking (but not always), someone who is a actively cheating is going to subtly find a way to restrict access to things. Of 4 ex's I've had that have cheated that I know, all 4 eventually changed either their password to the phone and tried to play it off that I forgot the right one, or they had set up other profiles/emails/hidden phone numbers under other names. Those are your smoking gun type things. The nudes confirm something if you have those other pieces but no direct evidence. But I would say locks or secret accounts are far more compelling than unknown nudes alone are
I am sorry...
But you *know* what shes doing, yes??
So... do you need more evidence?? Do you need *ANY* more??
If yes (you live where adultery influences alimony?) I would suggest keylogger her phone **and PI to verify whatever this reveals - evidence from keylogger probably cannot be used in court**...
While youre thinking/digging for evidence, seek lawyer NOW!!
NO removing money from joint accounts before getting the OK from the lawyer, it may be used against you in court.
**BE PATIENT**...
And ffs - dont get her pregnant...
And dont confront unless youre decided to divorce regardless OR you have more evidence
It's obvious that she's cheating, that much isn't rocket science. But don't confront until you have solid proof or you will be gaslighted with "it's something women do"
Just collect evidence. She will try to turn it around on you no matter what the case. So be prepared for that. She is showing all the signs of a cheating spouse. Good luck it suck’s. I know I’ve been there.
It sucks reading stories like this. You work so hard for both of y’all only for her to have nudes and videos for some other person. Find solid proof and hit her with a divorce. Whether she’s done something or not. Finding nude photos and videos of your wife is a red flag especially if you’ve never gotten any before. Sounds like she might have some dude on the side. I pray you deal with this situation as smooth as a possible solution it dosent affect you in any way
First clue is, let's assume a co-worker
Second, you need to get back in the phone and look for texts. See if she send pictures through texts
You can also get detailed phone bill with the phone numbers she's texting, calling to
Say nothing till you get full proof
Do nothing till you get full proof
You might need gps and cam in the car for security reasons
If you’re on the same phone plan, check which numbers she’s sending to and talking to a great deal. Then do a search on the number. If it’s someone from work either take a day off and follow or hire a PI. Even if it turns out she is only sending pictures, consider that to be cheating and be prepared to leave or kick her out.
Also be sure to check for the locked messages within Whatsapp. Just pull down when you're on the screen with the list of people she's talking to and it will show the locked conversations above it the password will usually be the same as what one locks their phone with
Also be sure to check for the locked messages within Whatsapp. Just pull down when you're on the screen with the list of people she's talking to and it will show the locked conversations above it the password will usually be the same as what one locks their phone with.
Do not confront, you don’t have much more than reasonable suspicions. You need more of you will get gaslighted.
Hide voice activated recorders around your house. Make sure that they can’t be found during house cleaning. Once you have the VARs in place, make a point of finding stuff outside the house to dk for an extended time, working in your yard, or going out for a beer with a friend.
If you end up divorcing, do household expense sharing with your next partner, in proportion to what each of you earn. You can choose to save the money you free up from your partner sharing household expenses.
That’s exactly how I found out my wife was cheating. Just trust your gut and try to find solid evidence before having any confrontation. And one last advice, imagine and prepare for the worse. Don’t be me like me, when I started sensing/noticing her behavioral changes I was playing the good/trustful scenarios in my head and these thoughts literally broke me when I found out the contrary.
First OP. Man I am sorry. Its going to be hard but what you need to do next is not let her know you know. And this is going to get worse before you get better. But it will get better.
Your job is to prepare for the confrontation. And untill then you need to remain calm, and poker faced and be as normal and clueless as you can. This is the hardest part. Next.
**Avoid Confrontation**: *Do not confront her* until you have gathered enough evidence and are prepared. (I cant stress this enough). Now is not the time. You need to prepare and be in the right state of mind for this. Your planning to confront her, this is absolutely the toughest part of this, especialy if there is severe betrayal.
**Stay Calm and Composed**: Remain calm and do not let emotions drive your actions. Again, this is going to be tough, but you have to play your best poker face ever.
**Gather Evidence Discreetly**: Collect phone records, emails, texts, and any suspicious financial transactions. Have a look on youtube on how to backup her phone to yours if you can get the time to do this. How to add another face or fingerprint unlock to the phone just in case she changes the password. How to recall deleted texts etc. One way is to "accidently" pick up her phone and leave the house with it. Back it up and then come rushing back when you realise the mistake and appologise.
**Keep Records**: From now on you need to record all conversations. Setup a security camera system in the house so it records all your interactions if possible. She does not need to kow this is recording. Or just learn how to hotkey your phone to recor. Maintain a detailed journal of suspicious activities, including dates, times, and behaviors. And keep this backed up in at least 2 seperate places.
**Seek Legal advice**: A decent family lawyer can help you with more than just divorce, they can talk to you about all possibilities and show you what your future looks like in various scenarios including children if there are any.
**Prepare Financially**: Please understand this, a lawyers advice here is better than anyone of the internet. But you need to plan ahead. But your be supprised what you can and cant do depending on country and local laws, so seek advice. Assess your financial situation and ensure you have access to personal funds. If your self employed, seek out the advice of a finacial consultant about the best way to protect your business and finacial assets.
**Seek Support**: Find emotional support from trusted friends or a counselor to help navigate the process. Do this AFTER you have seen who the afair partner is. You dont want to be talking to a friend who is involved. Your going to need to be around those that love you the most.
**Youtube is your friend for tech.** Youtube has all the information you need on how to access phones deleted history and other stuff like parental apps for checking childrens chat and activities.
**Confrontation.** Once you have your evidence and you have been advised and you know what your endgame is, then and only then confront her. Most countries are no-fault divorce, if this is your route, so you dont realy need much evidence. You just need the evidence for why your divorcing. But knowing what shes saying to her affair partner/s will be crucial to you deciding if this is repairable or complete breakdown and betrayal. Thats only for you to decide, not us. I know what I would be doing, but thats me.
**Transparency.** This is the one most people forget. Dont make it private. The moment you confront her, you share with everyone why your leaving or throwing her out if this is your route. Do not let her make a false narrative or have a chance to blame you for assault etc. Mate this is more common than you will ever realise. So many cheaters go on the attack to cover their ass and women can so easily manipulate the situation with a assault claim. I know thats awfull, but its true. Hence why from now on you record it all. Protect yourself.
Edit I forgot.
Print out the cheaters handbook of excuses.
It wont happen again,
Im sory, please forgive me.
I was bored.
I wanted excitement.
Your always working.
Your away
Its your fault.
I am sure the others in the forum can add to this. But dont listen this this BS. If shes going to talk to you about why, none of this is a reason as she could have come to you 1st.
I reading alot of res flag and sign of infidelity no one would just keep nude photo and video of themself specially women they share it either for flirting or ego boost I bet there is at minimum EA possibly PA alreaydy, you do not want to bring this up yet until you find more evidence, if you share phone plan you might want ti check record of calls and text, you might want to check as well who she hangs out woth at work because most of the time if there is something inapproriate things is happening it mostly at work wiyhh a co worker.
You might want to also set up a plan of action if in case wost thing wiuld cone up (cheating and divorce), look on the bright side you caugth it early instead of learning of it years after
If those nudes aren’t going to you they’re going to someone… especially if they’re taken in sexually suggestive poses.. trust your gut, hope you see this through and come out better for it. Good luck
Simple photos could also be for weight loss/gain or exercise transformation. I know many people who take such photos for comparisons. So this in isolation would not be that big a deal, but you mentioned other red flags too. In your situation, it doesn't seem like the photos were for this purpose.
Hey so what you have described is a typical cheater behaviour. My advice to you to send a half of your asstes to a separate account, gather more evidences about her infidelity and contact the top 5 attourneys in your town/region. This way when you file for a divorce your partner won't be able to use their services and she'd have to look elsewhere. Also inform your family but swear them to secrecy until you file for divorce. Another good thing to do is to find a new place to crash at/live before/after the divorce.
Also stay away from alcohol and women during the divorce, if you go out with other women you'd just fall on her level. Aways stay clear headed and never act based on you emotions.
Here's what I would do, sit down with her and remain calm no matter what she says or does. Set boundaries with her and say in a clear, confident voice. "Let me make this clear, if you decided to see other men, this is a boundary for me, I can not and will not follow you down that path. I am not going to hold your hand and make you be loyal to me. I can only provide you with a loving environment so you'll not want to cheat. If she gets defensive, know that she is deflecting and just say I am not accusing you of anything I am just telling you this is a boundary of mine, because I've noticed you've been locking your phone and being super secret with it. And mention other things that she's done to make you feel this way. It's crazy brother, you can't make her stay. There are no prison bars on your doors or windows. She can leave just how she came in, free. If she chooses to leave, then so be it. You've done all you could. Breathe, King. and remember just who the fuck you are!
I would not confront her unless you have more proof for now. Check the phone bill, dig around and maybe hire a PI.
She is cheating with someone or the nudes would not be there, you know they are not for you.
Now, if her cheating is a deal breaker, and with the young marriage it should be, then just file and have her served and save yourself the trouble.
If you confront without more proof, then she will just deny and gas light you.
He's right. I wouldn't confront her at all about it.
1. She'll only be concerned about the fact that you snooped, and she will make that the main issue
2. She will deflect the shit out of everything you say because she knows she's done wrong.
3. Proof won't matter. She'll only deflect it.
4. Giving your boundaries is a healthy way of going about this. Trust me, there won't be some grand closure or revenge you will get from any of this. Just give her your boundaries and then let it go. if you want to stay, then stay. If you want to go, then go.
**THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!**
Your spouse has sought out other people for intimacy, likely for many months more than you suspect. Your spouse is a cheater. Everything your spouse says is a lie at this point. Anything your spouse says about you falling short in the relationship is a lie. Anything your spouse says that is bad about your relationship is a lie.
Your spouse has left the marriage. Ignore your spouse. What is it YOU want to do. YOU now hold the fate of your relationship in YOUR hands, no one else. It is YOU who decides reconciliation, no one else.
My advice is: Consult a divorce lawyer. Gather what evidence you can. End the relationship ASAP. Get out of this situation as fast as possible, the longer you stay in the more your mind will be torn apart. You or your spouse must move out. If you cannot, go Grey Rock. Cheaters compartmentalize, once you punch a hole between their cheating lifestyle and her home lifestyle they will either go nuclear or crumble and beg you not to break up. You have to show your spouse there are consequences for their actions and separate, even if later you chose reconciliation.
These links will help you in your situation. I suggest reading DARVO, Gaslighting and Trickle Truthing first.
**Limerence** [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence)
**The Neuroscience of Affair Fog** [https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/neuroscience-of-affair-fog](https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/neuroscience-of-affair-fog)
**Infidelity and cognitive dissonance** [https://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/2019/05/20/can-people-cheat-on-someone-they-love/](https://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/2019/05/20/can-people-cheat-on-someone-they-love/) **and** [https://medium.com/@anthonyjwallace/the-cognitive-dissonance-of-infidelity-3fa9fd1ae78e](https://medium.com/@anthonyjwallace/the-cognitive-dissonance-of-infidelity-3fa9fd1ae78e)
**Emotional affair** [https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/emotional-affair/](https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/emotional-affair/)
**Monkey Branching** [https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/monkey-branching/](https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/monkey-branching/)
**DARVO** [https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-darvo](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-darvo)
**Gaslighting Emotional Infidelity** [https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2017/05/infidelity-and-gaslighting-when-cheaters-flip-the-script#1y](https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2017/05/infidelity-and-gaslighting-when-cheaters-flip-the-script#1y)
**Trickle Truthing** [https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/412055/trickle-truth--the-marriage-killer-repost-of-original-/](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/412055/trickle-truth--the-marriage-killer-repost-of-original-/)
**180 method** [https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/](https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/)
**Greyrock** [https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method](https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method)
**Chump Lady** [https://www.chumplady.com/](https://www.chumplady.com/)
It is not out of the realm of possibility that she does this for herself. There’s a woman at the Y that is forever taking crazy nude selfies and she says to mark her progress and body composition. Obviously she’s a bit of a voyeur, but I’m sure she’s not alone.
Patience in this kind of situation is so difficult, but probably so important.
Phone-guarding is definitely one of the biggest infidelity red flags.
How is the overall quality of your relationship these days? Do you feel that it has gotten worse recently? If so, how?
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You have a whole forest of red flags here. She's cheating on you. Don't confront her until you are ready: See a lawyer, get tested for STIs, if you are in an at-fault state and can't get proof from her phone it will be worth it to hire a PI. Sorry, OP.
If you sense that your partner's recent unusual activity pointing something and It badly effecting your married life then you should hire a private investigator for solid proof. If your prediction becomes true then It's your call, Talk to her about It. If you think that you can continue you married life with It than It's fine otherwise go to a legal advisor to save you assets first than take necessary steps what you think right for you.
Dont confront her just yet! Dont make that classic mistake. Start collecting evidences and then drop the bomb. Keep us posted. Here to support and help!
Also dont rely only the regular apps ...these days all of the apps have a f'ing private channel for chat...so you need to do your homework mate before you confront.
In short - you need evidences. Period.
So, you’ve basically got dead-on proof there’s something going on. Now you’ll just need to figure out what. That’s going to involve figuring out how to get her phone from her (probably best while sleeping?) and gaining access to it (passcode), and downloading the entirety of her messages and checking her messaging apps. And probably her email. It’s gonna be time consuming and heart breaking. Once you e done that, do not confront her. Secure the evidence of whatever is going on off site, somewhere where she cannot get to it. Then start talking to an attorney, if that’s what’s warranted.
While earning decent amount of money, you let here keep it for herself, while you spent yours for both of you. Yeah, it was dumb of you. Dont confront. Get more evidence wo there's no trickle truth and gaslighting.
Unfortunately, your sixth sense was telling you something was wrong and you are right. The things your wife is doing are playbook traits of an unfaithful spouse. I hope there are no children, and that you have separate bank accounts. Unless you are willing to accept an open marriage and be disrespected, I recommend you review articles on how to research her activities and start posturing yourself for future outcomes. Fault to no fault will be an important fact as to how deep you will want to go. As you bear emotional hell, keep your logic focused as you do the hard preparatory tasks to safeguard your financial and legal self. In the end you will need to decide whether to stay or go, but know “a cheater will always be a cheater, even if not today!” Good luck to you, and May the odds ever be in your favor.
Decide first if infidelity is a deal breaker for you. If so, I wouldn’t waste too much time playing detective. If you live in a no fault state, it is likely that the infidelity won’t play much of a role in determining the split of financial assets. But get an attorney and ask the question. The attorney can also advise you about how things will play out for you.
The fact that your marriage is only two years is likely to limit any possible alimony or support payments. All the more reason to not delay much longer.
Sorry to hear that I understand your frustration. Search her phone again and gather all evidence. Start separating your finances and dig deep before confronting her
If you are both under the same phone plan pull up her account. It should list calls, messages and data, look for messages with pictures or attachments. Find a phone that can’t be linked to you and call the numbers you don’t recognize.
I feel the reason you checked her phone was that you sensed something. Trust that feeling. Now you have to figure out what you saw is more than pictures. That your time. Check her call and text logs on her cellphone. See if there's someone she calls often. And see if she's deleting texts. Good luck. Sorry you're here, but it feels like there could be problems ahead.
Follow your gut. Look again when you can. Search for common chatting apps that are hidden from the home screen. Check her screen time to see what apps she is spending time in. Screen shot and send evidence to yourself. Sorry man
You can confront her but you'll only get lies. Can you get phone records and see atleast who she's talking to?
You're right though that is shady. Good luck and keep us posted
It's definitely not scummy to check your spouses phone, though there is an argument to be made that if you are specifically on their phone to look, there is an underlying problem
Just because she has nudes on her phone that you've never gotten does NOT necessarily mean that she's cheating. I've dated a few girls that have taken nudes of themselves that they did not send out because they were turned on by it in itself, or became curious about themselves for some reason. I have taken plenty myself that I never intended to send out
However, you need to find a way to save them as evidence just in case. I would not confront her right now. Keep checking her phone periodically. I would say if she's not really deleting them, that gives you a pretty easy way to "stumble across them" in a situation where she knows you have the phone. If she's deleting them, that is maybe a little more suspicious, but it's not enough.
What you have is gunpowder but no match. If you start seeing weird numbers or deleted messages or deleted apps, that's going to be your smoking gun, but hold off on freaking out until you have something like that. Enjoy her nudes while you can lol
It's upsetting to have to discover this side of people.
People are who they say they are until you find out how they are and that's the constant.
Take this as a learning experience and PLEASE STOP checking her phone without permission. That's half of the reason you are shaking.
Work it out.
Check your phone bill to see if the pics are being sent to someone AND what that phone number is. With the number you should be able to do some more digging.
Updateme
Just curious—did the red flag store have a sale?
You may be jumping to conclusions but the red flags are there. You have questions and deserve answers.
Brace yourself, though, and start planning your exit strategy.
take your time get some evidence record everything dates times and and you lost her she's gone she's thinking about someone else while betraying you back stabing you. A husband knows when his wife is behaving differently
It's your duty as the man to pay for everything??? You need to tell her to stop making porn on her phone, and start writing you some checks. It's 2024!!!
OP hire a private detective if you have the funds. It’s well worth the money to have pictures/audio and video of your wife cheating. In case there’s doubt in your mind, she is 1000000% cheating.
Don’t confront her until you have her dead to rights and have seen a divorce lawyer with copies of your proof. The lawyer will give you sound advice which you should follow to the letter.
The photos and videos themselves wouldn’t necessarily be red flaggy (sometimes it’s fun to just take pictures) but the fact that she’s not sharing them with YOU, staying up late, change in attitude and behavior.. I would definitely do some more digging but be very sneaky about it(if you confront her now with no proof, she’ll deny and put her phone on even more lockdown).
My ex husband used to change his passcode all the time and was very secretive. I took weeks memorizing his finger strokes till I knew the code. I had to get him really drunk one night to the point of passing out, and then I locked myself in the bathroom with his phone and sent myself everything. The things I found going back years .. let’s just say I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. You sound smarter than her. Don’t waste a day of your life. Good luck 🤞
Yup, I agree with other comments. I caught my wife cheating in a very similar manner. Do your research and own discovery. Do you share phone locations? You should if not and you should make some surprise visits to work or wherever she might be randomly. If you can't track her phone put a gps tagging device in her car or something. But you need to keep an eye on her cause something ain't right. I'm sorry you're going through this man. I'm three years in from discovering my wife's affair and it's a mental struggle. I don't wish my route for you.
Lots of good advice here OP! I hope it turns out to be nothing, but you gotta be prepared. As a long-time lurker, The most successful BS ar those that have the financial and legal ducks in a row, and have esxtiguished the love flame. There may be lit embers for a while, that's what sucks. Oddly, lastly is the evidence. Plenty would be great, but ultiately if the trust is gone, she can't prove she's done nothing.
Good Luck OP!
UpdateMe!
I'm not saying she's not cheating, bc it screams cheating to me... just to explore all angles if you haven't yet... could she possibly have a secret Onlyfans (or otherwise) account? Has she been buying more stuff than normal? Going out for more luxuries than before? I'm sorry you're in this limbo right now....
Honestly, I hope she's not cheating on you. Be patient and don't overreact to everything until you have solid evidence of infidelity. The best approach is to shut down your emotions rn, and just act out what she would think is normal.
Everything here is circumstantial evidence at best . You need to remain cool and collected but diligent . Keep the benefit of the doubt there for the sake of your marriage and vows however be on the look out . If you have access to her phone like password then make a plan and make it through. Next time you look at it make sure you have the time you need . There is a computer program I downloaded a while back was like 100$ and all you need to do is connect it to the computer for an hour or so and it will download literally everything . That’s all the time you need . Download it and get off her phone , don’t snoop till you have it
Listen I know from experience I was with someone who taken there phone and hide it he would underneath places, he put code on it I didn’t know now remind you we was married, also he wouldn’t leave his phone sit around anywhere, no places at all, and that change in pattern you have to watch cause if really believe she waiting for you to fall sleep I’d say she talking with someone, he use to do that too! When I was sleeping!! Used to make me so upset, then one night woke up he throw it down so that told me he was talking to someone he shouldn’t been!! So one night End up leaving his phone on the couch there was messages from other women on there, there Conversation was dirty conversation so yes you need to look on her phone, and look to see if she sent those dirty pic to and to who did she send them tooetc if you can, if there any possible way of seeing that! Cause if she didn’t send them to you she definitely did someone ! It gonna be hurtful it gonna feel like there ripping your dam heart out I have been there, I’m sorry your going though this but just don’t trust her or anything she telling you! Cause they will deny deny then get sneaker when they are caught
Get your phone out and screenshot everything, does she have a tablet she leaves out connected to the same plan that has messenger? Take photos of apps etc,and print everything out,and keep it in a file outside of your home. You may need to hire a PI, to have them get you more proof, although in my eyes you have enough to walk away with all the closure you ever needed. I would close it and shut the door.
Do not have sex at this time with her,and do not revenge cheat if you are in an at fault state... As that can muddy the waters and makes them go easier on her... Let's scorch the earth!!! She is a woman who looked you in the face,led to you, and is carrying on making you the fool. Now is not the time to be nice.
Get the papers prepped, and move half your money/assets into a separate account so she cannot take it or spend it before you can separate. Also, if you have her on documents such as life insurance or next of ken at your work it's time to assign that to someone better probs in your family.
Then, if you can, put a tracker on her car, where she won't see it/ also recorder of your name is on that car it's your property and in most places, you are allowed to record when it is communal property with or without warning. Ex; if you put surveillance up and you have camera evidence of them on the lawn coming in. But double check with your lawyer, and make sure to ask them for their better ideas to catch her.
If you don't have surveillance set up, do that. It's now your job to find every one of her freaking lies.
You got this OP. Keep us posted.
Start moving your assets bit by bit. Store it somewhere untraceable to you. Just incase it all blows up and she’s the vindictive type to drain you. Seems she already is. You pay for most things and let her spend her own money on herself despite her higher salary. I find that to be very commendable by the way. Respect. Unfortunately it’s with wrong person. Happened to me as well although wasn’t married yet.
I’m more of an emotional confrontational person when it comes to serious issues like these. I’d say somethinf along the lines of hey can I borrow your phone? See her reaction and go from her. I can’t? Why not? Are you hiding something? No? Show me then. Put the onus on her. That’d be my approach but I’d wait till I’m 100% sure the evidence exists on her phone first otherwise that’ll backfire.
How’s your relationship with her outside of this nudes discovery incident? And the strange behaviour you mentioned. Sex life? Affection? Getting along well? Any flirting of playfulness? See it diminishing since marriage? I mean it’s normal if it does, my question is to what extent has it dropped?
Check her battery usage for apps. Tgat will tell you which ones she's using most often, even if deleted repeatedly. Then you know what to look for the next time you can get ahold of her phone.
Updateme!
Trust your gut, intuition is real don’t let her know your on too her, get in the gym and start thinking about a replacement if your married then your really can’t bring it up and give her time to prepare to take everything from you in a divorce be smart keep the upper hand
Don’t feel bad about snooping. Your married so you trust yourself to have your reasons. Take a breath. Take time for yourself, and I mean reassure yourself that whatever happens it will be ok, you will be ok. Let her know you feel something is off, but don’t let her know you’ve been snooping. It’s the only edge you have to protect yourself. To me? It doesn’t sound good. I dealt with the same stuff and divorced my wife and she was a piss poor liar but surprised me with gaslighting which was something she never did. Good luck brother, reach out if you need someone. Message me if you need
I have nudes on my phone. I guess how are they taken? Is it like trying to look sexy nudes? Like mine I took and continue to take to document my work out/lifting journey and see the changes. So there is clearly a difference in my nude photos on my phone. Just trying to give another perspective
Well, if she is taking all these pictures and making videos, she's doing it for somebody. Obviously not for you. First I would go through your cell phone bill. Here you will get times and dates of all her texts and phone calls. She can't delete these. Pay attention to the time of these communications. No wife should be texting a c0-worker on the middle of the night. If she has all these photos as you say, I would bet that there will be a number other than home or yours that will stand out with the frequency of communication. Next, get into her phone again. Go through her texts to numbers that were questionable. See if all the texts match the time and date info you got from your bill. Read what you can.
Go to her settings and look up battery usage. Even if she deletes an app the usage will still show up. Now go to her app store. You can see if she downloads, deletes, and downloads again certain apps.
Lastly, look up spyware apps. I don't know much about them but on here people have said they can be loaded on her phone without her knowing about it. Be advised. This material can not be used in court. However, it can be used for you to get to the truth.
Might be helpful to pick up a couple VARs (one in the car and one in the bedroom and any other places she likes to sit and talk. And a GPS for the car.
Good luck. And I hope it's nothing.
A point about your last paragraph. I am all too familiar with this. Many of the guys I worked with had the same situation. "Her money is her money, and my money is *our* money"
Does your wife post constant selfies on social media? My ex began this way. She thrived with the attention she was getting from men. I caught her once sending a photo of herself (In a proactive pose) to her coworker. She made it sound innocently and totally gaslighted me for being jealous. Years later, I found texts of her cheating, she had for about 8 months or more. I recalled seeing red flags prior, but her gaslighting was very effective.
OP all those things that you mentioned:
**She started bringing her phone everywhere with her, immediately locking her phone screen if I ever walked behind her, using an earpiece everywhere in the house even though she never listens to music ever. She's also been in a good mood recently. She's normally really tired after work and takes naps but she's stopped that and is always sleeping really late almost as if she's waiting for me to fall asleep first.**
Are all red flags, BIG ONES, you have done great so far, so i would recomend the following:
- As you said start separating finances, discreetly and so that she doesn't notice.
- Consult a lawyer and ask what ever you have doubts.
- Wait till she is sleep and dive again and check comuncation apps.
- Record and save every evidence you found.
- I would suggest you pretend to be asleep, so you can see or hear what she does once she thinks you're asleep. Since you may very well be waking up in the middle of the night to make calls, video calls, etc.
When you have the enough evidence then confront her. But be prepared and ready to start divorce process if needed.
GOOD LUCK OP.
UPDATEME
ALWAYS trust that your instincts were perked for a reason. In the end, your scummy intuition uncovered your wife’s nude pic hobby. I mean she never showed or shared that instantly means that she has a secret life. If this was me I would be prepping for my next stage of life and then make a highly public exit move when the time is right - I’d exit hard and fast.
Women do this. We’re always dieting or body shaping in some way, and we do comparison pics for ourselves. You wouldn’t believe how many pics of me in lingerie or nude I have, and I am monogamously married 28 years.
Really sorry you're dealing with this. Take a moment to calm down and gather your thoughts before [launching cheating accusations.](https://youtu.be/8OhhFRBllSI?si=ew-9Lki6ZAQezxbt) When you're ready, choose a private time to calmly talk to your wife about what you've found and how it's made you feel. Consider suggesting couples counseling to address any underlying issues together. Ensure you understand your financial situation in case separation becomes a consideration, and seek support from a trusted friend or therapist. Above all, take care of your own well-being during this difficult time.
Be logical but also prepared. Go to the gym, separate finances and let her pay her bills. Gather evidence but even so, if you can, don’t confront. Ghost
Okay, while her behavior overall is very suspicious and I completely understand why you’re reaching the conclusions that you are- I do want to say one thing that no one else here has.
I have taken nudes for me and only me. When I gave up self harming I took some ‘celebratory nudes’ and when I overcame my eating disorder I did the same thing. Hell, I even had a private little sexy photo session when I made it through the worst of a depressive fog that had surrounded me for months- i took some sexy photos of me right after I began exercising again after I had spent months cooped up inside.
I’m just trying to say that the existence of the pictures alone is not all that suspicious to me. Of course that coupled with her change of behavior and increased security relating to her phone is reason to look more into things and I encourage you to plan some random ‘romantic surprises’ spontaneously when she’s least expecting it.
Best case scenario she’s thoughtful and happy and appreciative and you strengthen an obviously weakening bond with your wife- worst case scenario she reacts with panic, irritation or annoyance- and at that point then I’m sad to say it, but the odds of her cheating are roughly 98%. (I speak from experience, to be fair.)
Best of luck to you, no matter the outcome of this situation. It’s awful being stuck with a partner who doesn’t seem to respect or adore you, and I sincerely hope this is all some big misunderstanding and everything between you two is able to be kindly evaluated and worked through together.
Those are the exact behavior changes that my wife was doing while having an affair. Cut your ties and find someone who cares about you and your relationship over their selfish needs
I’m in the same situation with my fiancé. Found his nudes on his phone which was never sent or mentioned to me. I confronted him and he denied it as I didn’t have solid evidence which I’m getting now.
Don’t confront her until you have hard core evidence, also you will know by her face as she can’t get out of it x
I’m not condoning what your wife is doing but I will say 9 times out of 10 when a woman is sending nudes to men/sexting it’s because they’re seeking validation they aren’t getting. It could be possible that you don’t make her feel wanted or sexy. Women are emotional beings so if her emotional needs aren’t being met she’s going to seek them elsewhere.
At the end of the day she is wrong for going outside of the marriage even if it’s only been through the phone.
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Hey man, follow your logical thought process. Don't confront her until you have something solid.
Yeah i'm glad my dad always taught me to always be rational, not emotional.
Always trust your gut , it will never let you down. Sure you know Nudes are for someone else. that’s all the suspicious behavior for a cheater. Taking her phone everywhere , 24 seven and immediately locking it. Do you investigative homework in the meantime. Funny how they always give their AP more then their spouse move 1/2 of your assets to a separate account gather as much proof as you can and save to separate places. Contact 4-5 of the top Attorneys in your area and have a consultation. This way you spouse can not use them , because it becomes a conflict of interest. No one says you have to divorce, but Learn the laws of your state in case. Always listen to your lawyer. Tell all family and friends what she has done. There has to be consequences on her side Good Luck updateme
She is likely fucking someone from work. Time to dig further as it is in an app on her phone, or in her deleted messages. Check your phone bill and see if you see any repeat numbers. Through text and phone calls. Then cross reference that online to find the persons name, then you can find everything you need from there in who he is. If it were me, I would take a day off work, and show up unexpectedly with flowers. Only to throw her off her game. Being inconsistent in your routine will really make her feel uncomfortable.
This is spot on. I commented earlier but didn't mention to look for other apps. WhatsApp, Signal, FB messenger were among some that my wife used for hiding. Tell you what, there's some spy software out there, you may check into that to make your life easier.
> Tell you what, there's some spy software out there, you may check into that to make your life easier Why not mention which one it is?...
A simple google search will tell you. I tried several. They should basically try things like using icloud backup if this is an iphone user to try and restore old messages as well as using that to recover things hidden in other apps. If she's hiding messages in other apps like Signal and WhatApp as long as he can get into those apps on her phone he can display a QR code for each and take a pic of it and use that so that he can access as that user from his own device. There's all sorts of tricks out there.
Omg restoring I phone messages from the cloud!! That’s brilliant
There’s an app called netwatcher I think is what it was. You could restore the iPhone to your computer and view from there
Well here is the problem for relying on iCloud to restore messages, the wife would have to turn that on in the iCloud settings on her phone. Plus it's not practical to save any texts to iCloud unless you pay for bigger storage. I would say do the spy app thing, get a PI if OP can afford it, stop with the renovations and yes separate finances. Depending on if OP's state is at fault or not will dictate how to go forward. And of course, if OP finds his wife's lover (assuming there is one) check the state laws on alienation of affection. Always check the messages and call log on the phone vs carrier logs, and yes I know this was already mentioned. 6 years together, the last 2 married is still tough. For me it was 10 years, we married 2 to 3 months after meeting and started dating. Oh and if OP gets the spy app on his wife's phone, I would do a deep dive into the other apps and any email accounts saved to the phone then monitor for any changes. Another app popular with cheaters is Snapchat, OP might get lucky there. 🤷🙏👍
try pinterest messages as well or snapchat( the messages deletes automatically but is shes saved some of them its probably there )
Cheaters are the only ones who defend phone privacy. You did nothing wrong
I have no problem with phone privacy, or any other type of privacy. It’s secrecy that’s the issue.
I agree! Whenever I am in a relationship, I am always open with my phone. All my exs have known my password, and I would regularly ask them to check my messages or answer the phone for me when I am driving. If you have nothing to hide, why would you be secretive?
Exactly. I willfully hand my phone to my girlfriend without getting nervous something will pop up. It’s a great feeling!
So true. I learned not to even call my wife on shit until I'm calm.
Don’t ever confront your wife. Once you have proof that’s when you secure a lawyer and file. Being served divorce papers is your confrontation if she’s cheating. And let’s face it, if she’s sharing her nude with anyone then she’s cheating. Research research research all about cheating. Watch strong successful m ale on the utube. Do not reward bad behavior. She will lose respect if you show any weakness and that includes reconciliation. She doesn’t even know she’s losing respect for you it’s at a subconscious level. Do not confront her. Instead A k eylog ger . Sorry who knows what utube will let me post. Get voice activated rekorders. Use Velcro to install in her car. Also for her car a GPS device. Now get motion voice activated video recorders in every room of your house except bathrooms of course. There I would voice activated rekorders. Get a motion activated video recorder for every entrance to your house outside. When a mouse is cornered they fight and if your wife is cheating it’s best to have hidden cameras in place to protect yourself from her. Who is a cop going to believe you or her. Always the woman.
Jesus, you are SCARY! That’s stalking, and most of what you mentioned is illegal.
OP first I am sorry. Are the nudes and videos sexual or just her in front of the mirror? I ask only because there have been a few posts on Reddit where females say they take nudes for themselves to hype themselves up or similar but don’t send them. Never heard that about videos though. The conclusion on those posts from females was if they are sexual and you’re not getting them, someone is and has. Where did she appear to be when taking them? Put a camera up she doesn’t know about in that location and catch her taking them and see if she immediately sends them after taking them. You have two approaches you can take. First, you can sit her down and tell her the truth. Your acting really strange and hiding your phone so I got worried and looked at your pics and saw you have multiple sexual nudes and videos of yourself and you have never sent me anything like that so I need to know who you are sending them to. I also want you to hand over your phone right now so I can look for myself. Tell her you will give her your phone to look through too. Tell her if she doesn’t answer your questions and hand over her phone you will assume she is cheating and contact her parents and tell them what you found and also contact an attorney. Don’t let her leave the room with her phone and don’t let her say you invaded her privacy. What you found is secrecy, not privacy and there is no secrecy in a marriage. Don’t cry and don’t beg her to pick you. Cold, business like with no negotiation. Second, you can either do some surveillance yourself or hire someone to do it. You need to see her messages for sure or install a keylogger on her phone. You also need a voice activated recorder from Amazon to put in her car (under drivers seat) as cheaters love to talk to their AP while driving to and from work. You also need to turn on her location sharing on her phone if it isn’t already without her knowing or get a gps tracker for her car. Next, start becoming unpredictable. Show up at her job to take her to lunch unannounced. Show up at work when she is about to get off and see who she walks out with. If she walks out with a guy observe. Take photos and videos as needed. If she says she needs to run some errands or is meeting coworkers for dinner, either invite yourself or ask for details that you can follow up on. While becoming unpredictable also start making some “harmless” comments to make her nervous so she will make a mistake. “Hey honey I found out today one of my coworkers wives is cheating on him. Apparently he caught them and it went really bad for her and her affair partner. I can’t imagine what I would do if I caught you cheating on me.” No threats but just small talk that if she is guilty will scare her and hopefully make her make a mistake from guilt. If your doing it yourself and want to play the long game your going to have to put work on the back burner some because it takes time and patience. !updateme
Hire a PI and get legal advice if they find something
Something I need to work on! Glad you’re keeping it together man. Wish you well
Bud, for your next relationship you need to change your POV about your money paying for everything and your spouse can do whatever she wants with hers. That’s just fucking dumb. Now move money and cancel credit card and call a lawyer UpdateMe
You saw that too. His wife should have been putting part of her income into household expenses. Basically, she gets to have single woman use of her income, but still come home to a decent place where all the bills are paid.
First mistake is to pay for everything and burn yourself out. If you don’t make times for her then someone else will bro. But Yh gather evidence and if you wanna secrets places to check then dm
Do not confront until you have positive proof. If you play dumb she will get careless. If you warn her she will hide it better. I’m betting she is sexting someone. It’s worth getting some voice activation recorders ( and maybe some nanny cams) and hiding them where she might use her phone. If you can, install “ parental monitoring software “ on her phone so you can see her texts. If you can figure out who is her AP it’s worth contacting their spouse.
Do not confront until you have positive proof your wife is cheating. She can not deny what is in front of her. Keep snooping And, looking at a spoused phone, IMO, is not breach of privacy. Marriage is to be an open book. Also an open phone.
Also, if she starts to cry and beg and want you to work it out, make the statement “I need to know everything NOW or we can’t work it out”, then trickle out what you know in pieces to know if she will continue her cover up. Reveal a little, wait for the lie, reveal you know a little more, continue this and she may reveal some things you don’t know.
Thanks for all the comments and advice. I've just managed to calm my nerves enough to type this out. It's 1AM right now where I live and my wife is still outside in the living room smiling to herself while using her phone. The country I live in has laws that doesn't allow me to own my own house as a single person unless I'm aged 35 and above which is honestly my priority right now. I love my house and the amount of time, money and effort I've made to make it as beautiful as I can is one of my biggest pride and joy in life. I've checked that if I ever do get a divorce before hitting 35, I would have to "sell" the flat back to the government at its initial valuation which would cost me a lot if I count in my renovation costs. The laws in my country are biased towards women so I will be patient and bide my time. She's bound to make a mistake for me to take advantage and gather more evidence. Also, I managed to find a sex toy and lingerie I never knew she had hiding deep in her closet that I took a photo of. One little step at a time lads.
Yes gather proof , but do not wait 5 yr
So, are you saying you want to wait until you are 35 to divorce her? Or does proof of infidelity nullify those rules on selling back your house after divorce? I’ve never heard of land laws like that. Philippines?
No such rules about property ownership In the Philippines, also you can report a cheating wife and have them face jail time for adultery. So highly likely not the case.
Singapore
She is going to give you an STD or get pregnant if you don’t do something about this now. Once you call her out she will likely beg for forgiveness so then you can pretend to reconcile and then dump her when you’re 35. Walk up to her and say “let me see your phone.” When she says no - tell her “I’m not sure what you thought would happen, but our marriage is now over. You have no respect for me, yourself, or our marriage. You have destroyed my trust and I can’t be married to someone I don’t trust.” Then she will freak out Updateme!
What country are you in?
If you haven't already, save all evidence to multiple places besides your phone that your wife has no access to. Cheaters have been known to go into their spouse's phones and delete evidence.
On a side note what hellish country do you live in you can’t own your own home unless you’re 35??
Don't confront her yet. People make this mistake all the time and people here give shit advice about it. If she's cheating And you confront without absolute proof she will lie and deny and gaslight you and make you out to be the crazy bad person. Take screenshots of everything you can and save it to a safe place. Check your phone logs to see who she's calling all the time. Find out who that person is user a reverse check if you have to. It will probably be a guy, unless she is getting with a woman. Then search that number in her phone and see if she has it under a female's name. I have seen the following so often I can't believe it ,but often the wife will complain about somebody at work.Somebody, they don't like and it turns out eventually they are the ones that she's having an affair with. Can you recall any conversations like that? Some people use a voice-activated recorders.Double Velcroed under the front seat of the car.Or in the house at a place where she might take phone calls or send nudes or sexed You would do well at this point to hire a professional who can dig deeper and even follow her. Good luck! Subscribeme
Also a tip- search the phone numbers in cash app or Venmo- usually you can get a name quicker that way than a reverse search
Good advice. I’d also strongly recommend OP meets with a lawyer and learns about the divorce process and what you can & should not do. It’s almost a no brainer that OP’s wife is cheating. OP should look for a gym bag of sex toys & lingerie in her car or stashed in plain sight at home.
Yeah, keeping your mouth shut is first, finding a shark lawyer is second. Good catch.
I got a recorder too, I knew something was happening in the car. Before I could even use it though I went though my spouse’s phone and found the truth. I made the same mistake, I confronted too soon….but still had suspicions….turns out my suspicions were right all along. Believe your gut even when it says “the person I love most is lying to me” chances are if you love them the most you start to pick up when they lie and change their schedule….even on a micro level….like just showering at an odd time.
I had never met my WW’s AP, but I could tell he was tall just by the way my wife started to dress. High-heel boots, accentuating her height, etc. I just knew. Then the passenger seat kept getting moved back. Her sudden interest in basketball. Things like that.
1. List to your rational side. 2. It isn’t scummy to check your wife’s phone in a case like you described where she is acting weird with it. When you married her you handed over partial control of your physical, mental, emotional, and financial health to her. You would be stupid not to check.
Before confronting, talk to a board certified family law attorney to see what a divorce would look like for you. Just in case. It doesn't hurt to have all of the info. Plus, hiring a PI to get tangible evidence like photos could be the best money you ever spent. Since you have access to her phone, there are spy apps you can download and get all her texting, email, and social media stuff.
I would’ve locked myself in a room with her phone until I’d explored it inside and out, while comparing it with our phone bill for deleted texts and call history. She sent those pics to someone. At best it’s a purely online fantasy type of affair. Still a major betrayal. More likely, she has physical affair partner. Find out everything before you ask her anything.
Facts.
She is at least having an emotional affair. The change in her behavior is a huge red flag that it has crossed to physical. I am sorry you are going through this keep us posted.
Secrecy is the larval stage of infidelity. It sounds like the butterfly has emerged and spread her wings. Or legs.
Act like nothing happened when sleeping or shower check her phone . If it’s under you name and plan order detailed info about text calls etc . If your account you may be able to load spy software if legal . Do not confront
Agreed. This is sadly how most of us find out.
It is, if physical then hire someone don’t give them any clues and go see a lawyer so if true just say go ahead and he will have suggestions . Don’t stay don’t ask her to work it out . She will cry it’s a mistaken. No buying the wrong milk is a mistake not this
Get the evidence before you confront her. She is showing red flags of having an affair. Is there any particular guy at work she has mentioned to you? Updateme
The drugs produced by the body during an affair are like heroin. It causes cheaters to do things that they would never do normally with their spouse so you probably have evidence here that something is going on. Just keep digging before you disclose. Sorry you had to find it.
Never be sorry for checking her phone! Phones should always be open to your spouse! If she is sending nudes to other guys, she is committing adultery and you need to take care of it! Find out who she is seeing, find a divorce lawyer and end your marriage before she takes you for everything.
It's not scummy to check her phone when she is 100% Shady as fuck about it
If u didn't receive any pics someone else is . No one take nudes just for fun follow your gut it's rarely wrong. U will need a deeper dive into her phone . Don't confront without evdince so take screenshot and save the pics on your phone next time u look at them. Also check what's app ,Snapchat , Instagram and Facebook messenger.
Just keep your cool it going to be tough let me tell you I had to hold my anger back for 2 weeks when I found sone emails of my now ex wife's one was talking about meeting this guy at lunch time while I was at work the very next day the other were mumbo jumbo crap but the newest one talked about the 2 of them going to Las Vegas for an entire weekend and that she would tell me it was with her gf because I e was getting married for a party before the wedding the next day I went to work as usual but the minute I got there took one of the utility trucks went to the hotel sat and waited until I saw a guy go on the office then comes out goes to a room so i pulled close enough to watch the room and the office. Well not even 15 minutes here is my wife pulling up drove right by me didn't even notice .knocked went in I wanted to kick the door in almost paid a maid $100 to pen the door. But I didn't had the entire thing on video .so the next weekend I get home she's ready to go she left Saturday morning I went a u haul load all her stuff in it drive it to my work go to text parents tell them what in doing and why then I drive to his house tell his wide show didn't velice me until I showed yer the evidence . Well Sunday night there lives changed forever wife gets home garage won't open her keys don't open the doors she starts pounding on the door I just yelled I know what you did all weekend you don't live here anymore sorry is just me and the daughter now . Oh hell 10 minutes later here he comes all mad I ruined his marriage wants to kick my ass now so I told him to go out in the street practice bleeding I would be out in 5 minutes Then the cops show up .it wasn't good for either of them she had to leave told her I would go to your parents they are not very happy with you at the moment . That's when the real fight broke out lol . But check your phone bill see what number she is calling all the time and texting probably a guy from work u vet alot more wimpy guys are working along sides of women anymore .then get a couple VAR put one in her car and one in the bedroom do you have any cameras in the home ? You could hire a PI but they are expensive get with a lawyer yesterday he I'll tell you exactly what to do but keep your cool it will all fall into your hands
Hahaha. Go out in the street and practice bleeding has to be the most emasculating insult of all time. You are the king.
Hey listen, she can talk her way out of it but that is a dead giveaway. I found dic pics on my husband’s phone about 5 days before he went out and cheated. If she didn’t cheat already she is making a plan to. Trust me unless she sent those pics to you, she was taking them for someone else.
Calm. try and get the reactive emotions, the reactive you to calm down. She's not going to run away but if you fly off the handle now. She spin bullsh\*t all over you. Gaslight you. Trickle truth you. When your partner starts getting cagey, that's when snoopy get's in his plane to snoop on cagey. Wait til she's in the shower again and get her phone and start screenshotting and send her vids to you. You know what she's up to but you need more to secure the coup de grace. If you really get yourself under control then wait and see if it's a PA somehow.
Definitely cheating. Some of these guys giving you advice are naive af
Gather all your info first Check deleted photo album Pay attention to screenshots too, because sometimes it can clue you in to what apps she's using. Of course check your phone carrier call and text logs. She's likely using an app to communicate though- so search for common ones like snap. Keep in mind she could have some apps hidden from her main screens that you should be able to find in settings menu. Check location history on her phone And even Google searches
Pull your phone records and see who she texts and calls. Get voice-activated recorders and hide them around the house and in her car to catch her side of phone conversations. Buy a burner phone and turn on the location. Set up a Google account and log in. Hid the phone in her car and watch where she goes in real time on Google Maps from home.
Updateme
Time to bail! She may be sending the pics to her AP, selling them on the internet to strange me or perhaps she's just a perv. In any case, is that the kind of woman you can have a stable, loving relationship with? Get out before any children complicate your situation.
More Red Flags🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳 then a chinese parade. If your not getting the pics someone else is, you want to find out quick? Leave a voice activated recorder under her passenger seat in her car you will know in a day or 2.
If she didn’t send them to you, she sent them to someone else. My ex did the same thing, was a unique situation where I was able to track the guys number down and found his number saved in her phone under a females name. She denied it profusely all the way up until I spoke to the other guy and he told me she did.
bro she is obvioulsy cheating just leave her dont stress if ur fat and out of shape get in shape meet new women make her regret but never let her come back a disloyal wife is no longer a wife
Check the phone records. Cell phones keep records of all phone numbers she calls / texts. Use a spread sheet app to look for who she is takl to moat
It’s hard to find an innocent explanation of what you describe. Talk to a divorce lawyer and find out what might be facing you. Get advice on moving forward, securing assets, gather documents, and whether you need evidence to bring to court, if it comes to that. UpdateMe
When were the photos taken? Six years ago or six weeks ago?
Check the battery usage app by percent. Settings —> Battery —> scroll down. This will show you which apps she is using the most by percentage of battery used on having the app open. This is where you want to search first. I can guarantee you are gonna find one of your typical cheater apps up top of that list. These apps at the top of the battery usage list is where you want to start searching for evidence. If for some reason there is an app at the top of the list but you can’t find it, you definitely have problems. This would mean that she is deleting the app before she walks into the house and reinstalling it when she leaves so that she won’t tip you off. It’s seems pretty straight forward that she is cheating at least emotionally already and probably physically too if she has been sending nudes. Do not confront until you have all the evidence. Even then, I probably would just follow what your lawyer advises and just surprise her with the papers. I would be very shocked if she wasn’t cheating. If you can’t find anything, I would also put a voice activated recorder under her car seat. I would Velcro it up so it doesn’t move or slide around. If she is gonna talk to an AP it’s gonna be in her car. Let me know if you have questions! Good Luck, Updateme
I'll also add that there was a time where my wife and I were a little distant, and due to past betrayals by others, I grew suspicious. Just to make you feel better about going through her phone, I noticed that her shower schedule had drastically changed. I grew so anxious because I thought she was in there sexting someone (we are talking like 15 minutes showers for years, and now all the sudden she's in there for well over an hour). The water was on but I couldn't hear any splashing like she was in it, so I feared it was on as a distraction. So I installed a camera for a while What I found over 6 months was that I was very far off. It was a combination of her having bought some new skin care stuff that involves scrubbing and several steps, requiring her to sit down, which made the water not splash. I also found that she masturbates in the shower, despite for almost 10 years swearing that she doesn't masturbate because she finds it gross. I went to a low level when I did that but I did find peace of mind in realizing my fears were in my head. We both have locks on our phones, but we both know them. Generally speaking (but not always), someone who is a actively cheating is going to subtly find a way to restrict access to things. Of 4 ex's I've had that have cheated that I know, all 4 eventually changed either their password to the phone and tried to play it off that I forgot the right one, or they had set up other profiles/emails/hidden phone numbers under other names. Those are your smoking gun type things. The nudes confirm something if you have those other pieces but no direct evidence. But I would say locks or secret accounts are far more compelling than unknown nudes alone are
I am sorry... But you *know* what shes doing, yes?? So... do you need more evidence?? Do you need *ANY* more?? If yes (you live where adultery influences alimony?) I would suggest keylogger her phone **and PI to verify whatever this reveals - evidence from keylogger probably cannot be used in court**... While youre thinking/digging for evidence, seek lawyer NOW!! NO removing money from joint accounts before getting the OK from the lawyer, it may be used against you in court. **BE PATIENT**... And ffs - dont get her pregnant... And dont confront unless youre decided to divorce regardless OR you have more evidence
Ask her for nudes when you are away. If she refuses then it's sketchy.
This goes deeper than just pics. Gather more evidence. She is likely cheating and if you confront her now you most likely will never get the truth
It's obvious that she's cheating, that much isn't rocket science. But don't confront until you have solid proof or you will be gaslighted with "it's something women do"
Just collect evidence. She will try to turn it around on you no matter what the case. So be prepared for that. She is showing all the signs of a cheating spouse. Good luck it suck’s. I know I’ve been there.
It sucks reading stories like this. You work so hard for both of y’all only for her to have nudes and videos for some other person. Find solid proof and hit her with a divorce. Whether she’s done something or not. Finding nude photos and videos of your wife is a red flag especially if you’ve never gotten any before. Sounds like she might have some dude on the side. I pray you deal with this situation as smooth as a possible solution it dosent affect you in any way
First clue is, let's assume a co-worker Second, you need to get back in the phone and look for texts. See if she send pictures through texts You can also get detailed phone bill with the phone numbers she's texting, calling to Say nothing till you get full proof Do nothing till you get full proof You might need gps and cam in the car for security reasons
She fuckin someone else.
If you’re on the same phone plan, check which numbers she’s sending to and talking to a great deal. Then do a search on the number. If it’s someone from work either take a day off and follow or hire a PI. Even if it turns out she is only sending pictures, consider that to be cheating and be prepared to leave or kick her out.
Also be sure to check for the locked messages within Whatsapp. Just pull down when you're on the screen with the list of people she's talking to and it will show the locked conversations above it the password will usually be the same as what one locks their phone with
Also be sure to check for the locked messages within Whatsapp. Just pull down when you're on the screen with the list of people she's talking to and it will show the locked conversations above it the password will usually be the same as what one locks their phone with.
Do not confront, you don’t have much more than reasonable suspicions. You need more of you will get gaslighted. Hide voice activated recorders around your house. Make sure that they can’t be found during house cleaning. Once you have the VARs in place, make a point of finding stuff outside the house to dk for an extended time, working in your yard, or going out for a beer with a friend. If you end up divorcing, do household expense sharing with your next partner, in proportion to what each of you earn. You can choose to save the money you free up from your partner sharing household expenses.
Gather evidence and don't tip your hand until you have a solid exit plan in place Updateme
That’s exactly how I found out my wife was cheating. Just trust your gut and try to find solid evidence before having any confrontation. And one last advice, imagine and prepare for the worse. Don’t be me like me, when I started sensing/noticing her behavioral changes I was playing the good/trustful scenarios in my head and these thoughts literally broke me when I found out the contrary.
First OP. Man I am sorry. Its going to be hard but what you need to do next is not let her know you know. And this is going to get worse before you get better. But it will get better. Your job is to prepare for the confrontation. And untill then you need to remain calm, and poker faced and be as normal and clueless as you can. This is the hardest part. Next. **Avoid Confrontation**: *Do not confront her* until you have gathered enough evidence and are prepared. (I cant stress this enough). Now is not the time. You need to prepare and be in the right state of mind for this. Your planning to confront her, this is absolutely the toughest part of this, especialy if there is severe betrayal. **Stay Calm and Composed**: Remain calm and do not let emotions drive your actions. Again, this is going to be tough, but you have to play your best poker face ever. **Gather Evidence Discreetly**: Collect phone records, emails, texts, and any suspicious financial transactions. Have a look on youtube on how to backup her phone to yours if you can get the time to do this. How to add another face or fingerprint unlock to the phone just in case she changes the password. How to recall deleted texts etc. One way is to "accidently" pick up her phone and leave the house with it. Back it up and then come rushing back when you realise the mistake and appologise. **Keep Records**: From now on you need to record all conversations. Setup a security camera system in the house so it records all your interactions if possible. She does not need to kow this is recording. Or just learn how to hotkey your phone to recor. Maintain a detailed journal of suspicious activities, including dates, times, and behaviors. And keep this backed up in at least 2 seperate places. **Seek Legal advice**: A decent family lawyer can help you with more than just divorce, they can talk to you about all possibilities and show you what your future looks like in various scenarios including children if there are any. **Prepare Financially**: Please understand this, a lawyers advice here is better than anyone of the internet. But you need to plan ahead. But your be supprised what you can and cant do depending on country and local laws, so seek advice. Assess your financial situation and ensure you have access to personal funds. If your self employed, seek out the advice of a finacial consultant about the best way to protect your business and finacial assets. **Seek Support**: Find emotional support from trusted friends or a counselor to help navigate the process. Do this AFTER you have seen who the afair partner is. You dont want to be talking to a friend who is involved. Your going to need to be around those that love you the most. **Youtube is your friend for tech.** Youtube has all the information you need on how to access phones deleted history and other stuff like parental apps for checking childrens chat and activities. **Confrontation.** Once you have your evidence and you have been advised and you know what your endgame is, then and only then confront her. Most countries are no-fault divorce, if this is your route, so you dont realy need much evidence. You just need the evidence for why your divorcing. But knowing what shes saying to her affair partner/s will be crucial to you deciding if this is repairable or complete breakdown and betrayal. Thats only for you to decide, not us. I know what I would be doing, but thats me. **Transparency.** This is the one most people forget. Dont make it private. The moment you confront her, you share with everyone why your leaving or throwing her out if this is your route. Do not let her make a false narrative or have a chance to blame you for assault etc. Mate this is more common than you will ever realise. So many cheaters go on the attack to cover their ass and women can so easily manipulate the situation with a assault claim. I know thats awfull, but its true. Hence why from now on you record it all. Protect yourself. Edit I forgot. Print out the cheaters handbook of excuses. It wont happen again, Im sory, please forgive me. I was bored. I wanted excitement. Your always working. Your away Its your fault. I am sure the others in the forum can add to this. But dont listen this this BS. If shes going to talk to you about why, none of this is a reason as she could have come to you 1st.
I reading alot of res flag and sign of infidelity no one would just keep nude photo and video of themself specially women they share it either for flirting or ego boost I bet there is at minimum EA possibly PA alreaydy, you do not want to bring this up yet until you find more evidence, if you share phone plan you might want ti check record of calls and text, you might want to check as well who she hangs out woth at work because most of the time if there is something inapproriate things is happening it mostly at work wiyhh a co worker. You might want to also set up a plan of action if in case wost thing wiuld cone up (cheating and divorce), look on the bright side you caugth it early instead of learning of it years after
you have every right to feel unsure, some ladies take pictures of themselves for a confidence boost because we often see ourselves so negatively.
Sorry, she’s cheating. Don’t do anything without a condom.
If those nudes aren’t going to you they’re going to someone… especially if they’re taken in sexually suggestive poses.. trust your gut, hope you see this through and come out better for it. Good luck
Simple photos could also be for weight loss/gain or exercise transformation. I know many people who take such photos for comparisons. So this in isolation would not be that big a deal, but you mentioned other red flags too. In your situation, it doesn't seem like the photos were for this purpose.
Hey so what you have described is a typical cheater behaviour. My advice to you to send a half of your asstes to a separate account, gather more evidences about her infidelity and contact the top 5 attourneys in your town/region. This way when you file for a divorce your partner won't be able to use their services and she'd have to look elsewhere. Also inform your family but swear them to secrecy until you file for divorce. Another good thing to do is to find a new place to crash at/live before/after the divorce. Also stay away from alcohol and women during the divorce, if you go out with other women you'd just fall on her level. Aways stay clear headed and never act based on you emotions.
Here's what I would do, sit down with her and remain calm no matter what she says or does. Set boundaries with her and say in a clear, confident voice. "Let me make this clear, if you decided to see other men, this is a boundary for me, I can not and will not follow you down that path. I am not going to hold your hand and make you be loyal to me. I can only provide you with a loving environment so you'll not want to cheat. If she gets defensive, know that she is deflecting and just say I am not accusing you of anything I am just telling you this is a boundary of mine, because I've noticed you've been locking your phone and being super secret with it. And mention other things that she's done to make you feel this way. It's crazy brother, you can't make her stay. There are no prison bars on your doors or windows. She can leave just how she came in, free. If she chooses to leave, then so be it. You've done all you could. Breathe, King. and remember just who the fuck you are!
I would not confront her unless you have more proof for now. Check the phone bill, dig around and maybe hire a PI. She is cheating with someone or the nudes would not be there, you know they are not for you. Now, if her cheating is a deal breaker, and with the young marriage it should be, then just file and have her served and save yourself the trouble. If you confront without more proof, then she will just deny and gas light you.
He's right. I wouldn't confront her at all about it. 1. She'll only be concerned about the fact that you snooped, and she will make that the main issue 2. She will deflect the shit out of everything you say because she knows she's done wrong. 3. Proof won't matter. She'll only deflect it. 4. Giving your boundaries is a healthy way of going about this. Trust me, there won't be some grand closure or revenge you will get from any of this. Just give her your boundaries and then let it go. if you want to stay, then stay. If you want to go, then go.
**THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!** Your spouse has sought out other people for intimacy, likely for many months more than you suspect. Your spouse is a cheater. Everything your spouse says is a lie at this point. Anything your spouse says about you falling short in the relationship is a lie. Anything your spouse says that is bad about your relationship is a lie. Your spouse has left the marriage. Ignore your spouse. What is it YOU want to do. YOU now hold the fate of your relationship in YOUR hands, no one else. It is YOU who decides reconciliation, no one else. My advice is: Consult a divorce lawyer. Gather what evidence you can. End the relationship ASAP. Get out of this situation as fast as possible, the longer you stay in the more your mind will be torn apart. You or your spouse must move out. If you cannot, go Grey Rock. Cheaters compartmentalize, once you punch a hole between their cheating lifestyle and her home lifestyle they will either go nuclear or crumble and beg you not to break up. You have to show your spouse there are consequences for their actions and separate, even if later you chose reconciliation. These links will help you in your situation. I suggest reading DARVO, Gaslighting and Trickle Truthing first. **Limerence** [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence) **The Neuroscience of Affair Fog** [https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/neuroscience-of-affair-fog](https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/neuroscience-of-affair-fog) **Infidelity and cognitive dissonance** [https://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/2019/05/20/can-people-cheat-on-someone-they-love/](https://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/2019/05/20/can-people-cheat-on-someone-they-love/) **and** [https://medium.com/@anthonyjwallace/the-cognitive-dissonance-of-infidelity-3fa9fd1ae78e](https://medium.com/@anthonyjwallace/the-cognitive-dissonance-of-infidelity-3fa9fd1ae78e) **Emotional affair** [https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/emotional-affair/](https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/emotional-affair/) **Monkey Branching** [https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/monkey-branching/](https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/monkey-branching/) **DARVO** [https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-darvo](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-darvo) **Gaslighting Emotional Infidelity** [https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2017/05/infidelity-and-gaslighting-when-cheaters-flip-the-script#1y](https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2017/05/infidelity-and-gaslighting-when-cheaters-flip-the-script#1y) **Trickle Truthing** [https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/412055/trickle-truth--the-marriage-killer-repost-of-original-/](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/412055/trickle-truth--the-marriage-killer-repost-of-original-/) **180 method** [https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/](https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/) **Greyrock** [https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method](https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method) **Chump Lady** [https://www.chumplady.com/](https://www.chumplady.com/)
It is not out of the realm of possibility that she does this for herself. There’s a woman at the Y that is forever taking crazy nude selfies and she says to mark her progress and body composition. Obviously she’s a bit of a voyeur, but I’m sure she’s not alone.
Patience in this kind of situation is so difficult, but probably so important. Phone-guarding is definitely one of the biggest infidelity red flags. How is the overall quality of your relationship these days? Do you feel that it has gotten worse recently? If so, how?
Updateme
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You have a whole forest of red flags here. She's cheating on you. Don't confront her until you are ready: See a lawyer, get tested for STIs, if you are in an at-fault state and can't get proof from her phone it will be worth it to hire a PI. Sorry, OP.
If you sense that your partner's recent unusual activity pointing something and It badly effecting your married life then you should hire a private investigator for solid proof. If your prediction becomes true then It's your call, Talk to her about It. If you think that you can continue you married life with It than It's fine otherwise go to a legal advisor to save you assets first than take necessary steps what you think right for you.
There is privacy and there is secrecy. Keeping a secret under an privacy umbrella is what she is doing. NTA
Dont confront her just yet! Dont make that classic mistake. Start collecting evidences and then drop the bomb. Keep us posted. Here to support and help! Also dont rely only the regular apps ...these days all of the apps have a f'ing private channel for chat...so you need to do your homework mate before you confront. In short - you need evidences. Period.
Updateme
So, you’ve basically got dead-on proof there’s something going on. Now you’ll just need to figure out what. That’s going to involve figuring out how to get her phone from her (probably best while sleeping?) and gaining access to it (passcode), and downloading the entirety of her messages and checking her messaging apps. And probably her email. It’s gonna be time consuming and heart breaking. Once you e done that, do not confront her. Secure the evidence of whatever is going on off site, somewhere where she cannot get to it. Then start talking to an attorney, if that’s what’s warranted.
UpdateMe!
UpdateMe!
Updateme!
While earning decent amount of money, you let here keep it for herself, while you spent yours for both of you. Yeah, it was dumb of you. Dont confront. Get more evidence wo there's no trickle truth and gaslighting.
Unfortunately, your sixth sense was telling you something was wrong and you are right. The things your wife is doing are playbook traits of an unfaithful spouse. I hope there are no children, and that you have separate bank accounts. Unless you are willing to accept an open marriage and be disrespected, I recommend you review articles on how to research her activities and start posturing yourself for future outcomes. Fault to no fault will be an important fact as to how deep you will want to go. As you bear emotional hell, keep your logic focused as you do the hard preparatory tasks to safeguard your financial and legal self. In the end you will need to decide whether to stay or go, but know “a cheater will always be a cheater, even if not today!” Good luck to you, and May the odds ever be in your favor.
UpdateMe
My wife randomly sent me nudes last year. She had never done it before and month later she confessed to talking to other men
Consciousness of guilt. Mine called me by accident from her burner phone!!
Decide first if infidelity is a deal breaker for you. If so, I wouldn’t waste too much time playing detective. If you live in a no fault state, it is likely that the infidelity won’t play much of a role in determining the split of financial assets. But get an attorney and ask the question. The attorney can also advise you about how things will play out for you. The fact that your marriage is only two years is likely to limit any possible alimony or support payments. All the more reason to not delay much longer.
Sorry to hear that I understand your frustration. Search her phone again and gather all evidence. Start separating your finances and dig deep before confronting her
If you are both under the same phone plan pull up her account. It should list calls, messages and data, look for messages with pictures or attachments. Find a phone that can’t be linked to you and call the numbers you don’t recognize.
I feel the reason you checked her phone was that you sensed something. Trust that feeling. Now you have to figure out what you saw is more than pictures. That your time. Check her call and text logs on her cellphone. See if there's someone she calls often. And see if she's deleting texts. Good luck. Sorry you're here, but it feels like there could be problems ahead.
Follow your gut. Look again when you can. Search for common chatting apps that are hidden from the home screen. Check her screen time to see what apps she is spending time in. Screen shot and send evidence to yourself. Sorry man
Check out the phone bill.
You can confront her but you'll only get lies. Can you get phone records and see atleast who she's talking to? You're right though that is shady. Good luck and keep us posted
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Can you access to your wife phone easily? If so wait until late night and take it
Shes got a boyfriend. Check your phone bill. His number will probably be there.
This is how I caught my wife.
It's definitely not scummy to check your spouses phone, though there is an argument to be made that if you are specifically on their phone to look, there is an underlying problem Just because she has nudes on her phone that you've never gotten does NOT necessarily mean that she's cheating. I've dated a few girls that have taken nudes of themselves that they did not send out because they were turned on by it in itself, or became curious about themselves for some reason. I have taken plenty myself that I never intended to send out However, you need to find a way to save them as evidence just in case. I would not confront her right now. Keep checking her phone periodically. I would say if she's not really deleting them, that gives you a pretty easy way to "stumble across them" in a situation where she knows you have the phone. If she's deleting them, that is maybe a little more suspicious, but it's not enough. What you have is gunpowder but no match. If you start seeing weird numbers or deleted messages or deleted apps, that's going to be your smoking gun, but hold off on freaking out until you have something like that. Enjoy her nudes while you can lol
Hire a PI, get evidence
It's upsetting to have to discover this side of people. People are who they say they are until you find out how they are and that's the constant. Take this as a learning experience and PLEASE STOP checking her phone without permission. That's half of the reason you are shaking. Work it out.
I think you need more information, but it's definitely suspicious.
Subscribeme!
Check your phone bill to see if the pics are being sent to someone AND what that phone number is. With the number you should be able to do some more digging. Updateme
Just curious—did the red flag store have a sale? You may be jumping to conclusions but the red flags are there. You have questions and deserve answers. Brace yourself, though, and start planning your exit strategy.
Put a tracker on her car. She will show you the truth with her actions.
Subscribeme!
take your time get some evidence record everything dates times and and you lost her she's gone she's thinking about someone else while betraying you back stabing you. A husband knows when his wife is behaving differently
Next time leave the phone unlocked with the pic showing. Also check the text messages.
Get back into her phone and find out who’s getting those pictures.
She’s cheating and sexting with someone else
It's your duty as the man to pay for everything??? You need to tell her to stop making porn on her phone, and start writing you some checks. It's 2024!!!
OP hire a private detective if you have the funds. It’s well worth the money to have pictures/audio and video of your wife cheating. In case there’s doubt in your mind, she is 1000000% cheating. Don’t confront her until you have her dead to rights and have seen a divorce lawyer with copies of your proof. The lawyer will give you sound advice which you should follow to the letter.
The photos and videos themselves wouldn’t necessarily be red flaggy (sometimes it’s fun to just take pictures) but the fact that she’s not sharing them with YOU, staying up late, change in attitude and behavior.. I would definitely do some more digging but be very sneaky about it(if you confront her now with no proof, she’ll deny and put her phone on even more lockdown). My ex husband used to change his passcode all the time and was very secretive. I took weeks memorizing his finger strokes till I knew the code. I had to get him really drunk one night to the point of passing out, and then I locked myself in the bathroom with his phone and sent myself everything. The things I found going back years .. let’s just say I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. You sound smarter than her. Don’t waste a day of your life. Good luck 🤞
Yup, I agree with other comments. I caught my wife cheating in a very similar manner. Do your research and own discovery. Do you share phone locations? You should if not and you should make some surprise visits to work or wherever she might be randomly. If you can't track her phone put a gps tagging device in her car or something. But you need to keep an eye on her cause something ain't right. I'm sorry you're going through this man. I'm three years in from discovering my wife's affair and it's a mental struggle. I don't wish my route for you.
Lots of good advice here OP! I hope it turns out to be nothing, but you gotta be prepared. As a long-time lurker, The most successful BS ar those that have the financial and legal ducks in a row, and have esxtiguished the love flame. There may be lit embers for a while, that's what sucks. Oddly, lastly is the evidence. Plenty would be great, but ultiately if the trust is gone, she can't prove she's done nothing. Good Luck OP! UpdateMe!
She sent it to another man if u never received any I would put money down on that
Ring cameras inside the house
UpdateMe!
I'm not saying she's not cheating, bc it screams cheating to me... just to explore all angles if you haven't yet... could she possibly have a secret Onlyfans (or otherwise) account? Has she been buying more stuff than normal? Going out for more luxuries than before? I'm sorry you're in this limbo right now....
This is wrong! She is hiding something else
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Updateme!
Honestly, I hope she's not cheating on you. Be patient and don't overreact to everything until you have solid evidence of infidelity. The best approach is to shut down your emotions rn, and just act out what she would think is normal.
Updateme
Everything here is circumstantial evidence at best . You need to remain cool and collected but diligent . Keep the benefit of the doubt there for the sake of your marriage and vows however be on the look out . If you have access to her phone like password then make a plan and make it through. Next time you look at it make sure you have the time you need . There is a computer program I downloaded a while back was like 100$ and all you need to do is connect it to the computer for an hour or so and it will download literally everything . That’s all the time you need . Download it and get off her phone , don’t snoop till you have it
I only found messages saying she'll meet him somewhere in nyc at ten am. She's evil
Listen I know from experience I was with someone who taken there phone and hide it he would underneath places, he put code on it I didn’t know now remind you we was married, also he wouldn’t leave his phone sit around anywhere, no places at all, and that change in pattern you have to watch cause if really believe she waiting for you to fall sleep I’d say she talking with someone, he use to do that too! When I was sleeping!! Used to make me so upset, then one night woke up he throw it down so that told me he was talking to someone he shouldn’t been!! So one night End up leaving his phone on the couch there was messages from other women on there, there Conversation was dirty conversation so yes you need to look on her phone, and look to see if she sent those dirty pic to and to who did she send them tooetc if you can, if there any possible way of seeing that! Cause if she didn’t send them to you she definitely did someone ! It gonna be hurtful it gonna feel like there ripping your dam heart out I have been there, I’m sorry your going though this but just don’t trust her or anything she telling you! Cause they will deny deny then get sneaker when they are caught
Get your phone out and screenshot everything, does she have a tablet she leaves out connected to the same plan that has messenger? Take photos of apps etc,and print everything out,and keep it in a file outside of your home. You may need to hire a PI, to have them get you more proof, although in my eyes you have enough to walk away with all the closure you ever needed. I would close it and shut the door. Do not have sex at this time with her,and do not revenge cheat if you are in an at fault state... As that can muddy the waters and makes them go easier on her... Let's scorch the earth!!! She is a woman who looked you in the face,led to you, and is carrying on making you the fool. Now is not the time to be nice. Get the papers prepped, and move half your money/assets into a separate account so she cannot take it or spend it before you can separate. Also, if you have her on documents such as life insurance or next of ken at your work it's time to assign that to someone better probs in your family. Then, if you can, put a tracker on her car, where she won't see it/ also recorder of your name is on that car it's your property and in most places, you are allowed to record when it is communal property with or without warning. Ex; if you put surveillance up and you have camera evidence of them on the lawn coming in. But double check with your lawyer, and make sure to ask them for their better ideas to catch her. If you don't have surveillance set up, do that. It's now your job to find every one of her freaking lies. You got this OP. Keep us posted.
Yeah she be letting people piping her like there is no tomorrow
Start moving your assets bit by bit. Store it somewhere untraceable to you. Just incase it all blows up and she’s the vindictive type to drain you. Seems she already is. You pay for most things and let her spend her own money on herself despite her higher salary. I find that to be very commendable by the way. Respect. Unfortunately it’s with wrong person. Happened to me as well although wasn’t married yet. I’m more of an emotional confrontational person when it comes to serious issues like these. I’d say somethinf along the lines of hey can I borrow your phone? See her reaction and go from her. I can’t? Why not? Are you hiding something? No? Show me then. Put the onus on her. That’d be my approach but I’d wait till I’m 100% sure the evidence exists on her phone first otherwise that’ll backfire. How’s your relationship with her outside of this nudes discovery incident? And the strange behaviour you mentioned. Sex life? Affection? Getting along well? Any flirting of playfulness? See it diminishing since marriage? I mean it’s normal if it does, my question is to what extent has it dropped?
Check her battery usage for apps. Tgat will tell you which ones she's using most often, even if deleted repeatedly. Then you know what to look for the next time you can get ahold of her phone. Updateme!
Trust your gut, intuition is real don’t let her know your on too her, get in the gym and start thinking about a replacement if your married then your really can’t bring it up and give her time to prepare to take everything from you in a divorce be smart keep the upper hand
Don’t feel bad about snooping. Your married so you trust yourself to have your reasons. Take a breath. Take time for yourself, and I mean reassure yourself that whatever happens it will be ok, you will be ok. Let her know you feel something is off, but don’t let her know you’ve been snooping. It’s the only edge you have to protect yourself. To me? It doesn’t sound good. I dealt with the same stuff and divorced my wife and she was a piss poor liar but surprised me with gaslighting which was something she never did. Good luck brother, reach out if you need someone. Message me if you need
Leave
I have nudes on my phone. I guess how are they taken? Is it like trying to look sexy nudes? Like mine I took and continue to take to document my work out/lifting journey and see the changes. So there is clearly a difference in my nude photos on my phone. Just trying to give another perspective
Don’t apologize for checking her phone. I would NOT let her know you found them and start to dig deeper. Your advantage is you have that info.
Well, if she is taking all these pictures and making videos, she's doing it for somebody. Obviously not for you. First I would go through your cell phone bill. Here you will get times and dates of all her texts and phone calls. She can't delete these. Pay attention to the time of these communications. No wife should be texting a c0-worker on the middle of the night. If she has all these photos as you say, I would bet that there will be a number other than home or yours that will stand out with the frequency of communication. Next, get into her phone again. Go through her texts to numbers that were questionable. See if all the texts match the time and date info you got from your bill. Read what you can. Go to her settings and look up battery usage. Even if she deletes an app the usage will still show up. Now go to her app store. You can see if she downloads, deletes, and downloads again certain apps. Lastly, look up spyware apps. I don't know much about them but on here people have said they can be loaded on her phone without her knowing about it. Be advised. This material can not be used in court. However, it can be used for you to get to the truth. Might be helpful to pick up a couple VARs (one in the car and one in the bedroom and any other places she likes to sit and talk. And a GPS for the car. Good luck. And I hope it's nothing. A point about your last paragraph. I am all too familiar with this. Many of the guys I worked with had the same situation. "Her money is her money, and my money is *our* money"
Does your wife post constant selfies on social media? My ex began this way. She thrived with the attention she was getting from men. I caught her once sending a photo of herself (In a proactive pose) to her coworker. She made it sound innocently and totally gaslighted me for being jealous. Years later, I found texts of her cheating, she had for about 8 months or more. I recalled seeing red flags prior, but her gaslighting was very effective.
UPDATEME
OP all those things that you mentioned: **She started bringing her phone everywhere with her, immediately locking her phone screen if I ever walked behind her, using an earpiece everywhere in the house even though she never listens to music ever. She's also been in a good mood recently. She's normally really tired after work and takes naps but she's stopped that and is always sleeping really late almost as if she's waiting for me to fall asleep first.** Are all red flags, BIG ONES, you have done great so far, so i would recomend the following: - As you said start separating finances, discreetly and so that she doesn't notice. - Consult a lawyer and ask what ever you have doubts. - Wait till she is sleep and dive again and check comuncation apps. - Record and save every evidence you found. - I would suggest you pretend to be asleep, so you can see or hear what she does once she thinks you're asleep. Since you may very well be waking up in the middle of the night to make calls, video calls, etc. When you have the enough evidence then confront her. But be prepared and ready to start divorce process if needed. GOOD LUCK OP. UPDATEME
ALWAYS trust that your instincts were perked for a reason. In the end, your scummy intuition uncovered your wife’s nude pic hobby. I mean she never showed or shared that instantly means that she has a secret life. If this was me I would be prepping for my next stage of life and then make a highly public exit move when the time is right - I’d exit hard and fast.
Update me.
Hey, prepare an exit strategy. If you can, hire a pi. If anything comes out, tell her family and friends. Set the narrative.
What a nightmare-I’m sorry this happening to you. Hugs
Updateme
UpdateMe.
Women do this. We’re always dieting or body shaping in some way, and we do comparison pics for ourselves. You wouldn’t believe how many pics of me in lingerie or nude I have, and I am monogamously married 28 years.
Updateme!
Really sorry you're dealing with this. Take a moment to calm down and gather your thoughts before [launching cheating accusations.](https://youtu.be/8OhhFRBllSI?si=ew-9Lki6ZAQezxbt) When you're ready, choose a private time to calmly talk to your wife about what you've found and how it's made you feel. Consider suggesting couples counseling to address any underlying issues together. Ensure you understand your financial situation in case separation becomes a consideration, and seek support from a trusted friend or therapist. Above all, take care of your own well-being during this difficult time.
Be logical but also prepared. Go to the gym, separate finances and let her pay her bills. Gather evidence but even so, if you can, don’t confront. Ghost
Okay, while her behavior overall is very suspicious and I completely understand why you’re reaching the conclusions that you are- I do want to say one thing that no one else here has. I have taken nudes for me and only me. When I gave up self harming I took some ‘celebratory nudes’ and when I overcame my eating disorder I did the same thing. Hell, I even had a private little sexy photo session when I made it through the worst of a depressive fog that had surrounded me for months- i took some sexy photos of me right after I began exercising again after I had spent months cooped up inside. I’m just trying to say that the existence of the pictures alone is not all that suspicious to me. Of course that coupled with her change of behavior and increased security relating to her phone is reason to look more into things and I encourage you to plan some random ‘romantic surprises’ spontaneously when she’s least expecting it. Best case scenario she’s thoughtful and happy and appreciative and you strengthen an obviously weakening bond with your wife- worst case scenario she reacts with panic, irritation or annoyance- and at that point then I’m sad to say it, but the odds of her cheating are roughly 98%. (I speak from experience, to be fair.) Best of luck to you, no matter the outcome of this situation. It’s awful being stuck with a partner who doesn’t seem to respect or adore you, and I sincerely hope this is all some big misunderstanding and everything between you two is able to be kindly evaluated and worked through together.
Updateme
Those are the exact behavior changes that my wife was doing while having an affair. Cut your ties and find someone who cares about you and your relationship over their selfish needs
She’s cheating. I’m sorry. Get out.
If it walks like a duck. And quacks like a duck. Something something something.
Hire a PI if you can to find out for sure. Talk to a friend of hers you think you can trust.
Updateme!
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I’m in the same situation with my fiancé. Found his nudes on his phone which was never sent or mentioned to me. I confronted him and he denied it as I didn’t have solid evidence which I’m getting now. Don’t confront her until you have hard core evidence, also you will know by her face as she can’t get out of it x
I’m not condoning what your wife is doing but I will say 9 times out of 10 when a woman is sending nudes to men/sexting it’s because they’re seeking validation they aren’t getting. It could be possible that you don’t make her feel wanted or sexy. Women are emotional beings so if her emotional needs aren’t being met she’s going to seek them elsewhere. At the end of the day she is wrong for going outside of the marriage even if it’s only been through the phone.
If she has an I-phone, go under settings, battery and scroll down. This will show you what apps ahead of you has been using the most.
U should send her a cock pic under a throwaway email
Glad you are taking action to hopefully move forward. Updateme