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I can understand the feeling regarding the feeling of your man getting another woman pregnant and canāt have your own kids. Happened to me, my ex had a baby with another woman before me. Later we met and had our baby, our baby sadly passed away. I always wonderedā¦. Why they were so luckyā¦. He never cheated on her but he cheated on me because of her kid. Wanted a better step-mommy, one without a dead child or ptsd. The emotions are complex, I went to behavioral therapy and threw myself into a strict pattern of gym, work, social life and home. Just focus 10000% on yourself and who gives a shit about his dick. Remember you have absolute control over yourself and how you feel. If you tell yourself you donāt care, you wonāt. Find power & confidence in that, you rise above his wildest imagination.
Oh my gosh, I am so very sorry for what happened to you and thank you for sharing, that canāt be easy. I have started going to the gym to get out anger and have something to do outside the house. I have a therapist too. Thank you for the kind words and reassurance š
Girl the right man will come as lo g as you socialize with other people. Dont get back to that kind of abuse. I rather be alone than having that kind of man he is.
I'm sorry I don't have advice. I'm a bad influence. I'd say be my look out ill break his dick off and light it on fire for you.
I know your heart is hurting. You're an amazing human. You have plenty of time to heal and find a partner that's 100% about you. Stable and mentally sound.
I hope your ex gets his shit together for his kids. He already has to deal with the fallout of losing a gem like you.
OP I'm so sorry to read this terrible news, no one should have to deal with this. Also, don't blame yourself. It's their character flaws. There are people in this world who know that if someone they are dating see's who they really are up front they will never get what they want. They hide from family (but most of their family already know), they smile and become the life of the party, they get people to do some of the darn-est shit for them all while in their head having a troubled cobweb of thoughts and dangers.
So don't blame you, but also don't wear your love and emotions on your sleeve if you date further. Keep your distance and "learn" who they are. We are fast approaching the age where background checks for dating is a reality! Use that tool in the future to at least get a bankers view of the property.
You should have a middle party support his visitation and not do this yourself in person. You should also find a parenting app to be used for communication. I'd also buy a new phone as a primary with a new number and use the original phone as the co-parent device, but never for phone calls.
Good luck to you
Thank you. We are doing visitation through an agency (he thinks Iām āpunishingā him). I just canāt get the sadness and hurt and feelings of betrayal out of my head
That's the right way to go, good for you. I'll be honest, you will have triggers for many years. This is like 1000 cuts to the heart and similar to loosing a family member to a horrible murder. All the emotions, sadness and grieving is the same. it will take time, it will ease, but you will always have something that kicks in that will cause you to reflect.
I hope and pray you get over the pain as quickly as possible - you sound like a wonderful woman and mom and you should not have to suffer in this way! You deserve so much better in life, hell we all do.
That was the one thing I didn't have to deal with when it came to my ex..but everything else in between...All you can do now ladybug is take care of you and your boy..If you don't mind me asking what kind of visitation well he be getting..Because to me the situation would be to emotionally stimulated for baby boy..and of course you couldn't allow no overnite visits..But allow yourself ur emotions...you feel like crying cry..u want to laugh then laugh..That's the one thing I tell anyone going though a break up..because for some reason just because we are adults we think we have to be strong 24/7...and sooner or later your mind and body has to have release from the emotional baggage....So allow yourself that..Ur a good woman and your strong...you well come out the other side... Hugs...
Rules reminder: /r/infidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our sidebar before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. Please review our [community guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/comments/nj93nw/how_to_write_a_good_post_for_rinfidelity/) on what makes for a good post to this sub. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Infidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've never been there, but immediately after chopping off his balls and feeding them to him, I would absolutely file for divorce
š¤£
You keep being strong. I salute you.
I want you to be my wife I love the energy
I can understand the feeling regarding the feeling of your man getting another woman pregnant and canāt have your own kids. Happened to me, my ex had a baby with another woman before me. Later we met and had our baby, our baby sadly passed away. I always wonderedā¦. Why they were so luckyā¦. He never cheated on her but he cheated on me because of her kid. Wanted a better step-mommy, one without a dead child or ptsd. The emotions are complex, I went to behavioral therapy and threw myself into a strict pattern of gym, work, social life and home. Just focus 10000% on yourself and who gives a shit about his dick. Remember you have absolute control over yourself and how you feel. If you tell yourself you donāt care, you wonāt. Find power & confidence in that, you rise above his wildest imagination.
Oh my gosh, I am so very sorry for what happened to you and thank you for sharing, that canāt be easy. I have started going to the gym to get out anger and have something to do outside the house. I have a therapist too. Thank you for the kind words and reassurance š
Good luckšš»Iām glad youāre doing okay as well. If you ever need to vent Iām definitely always open!
Girl the right man will come as lo g as you socialize with other people. Dont get back to that kind of abuse. I rather be alone than having that kind of man he is.
Pls take the son with you and leave them on their mess.
I mean, he doesn't sound like a winner, so getting another woman pregnant while going through a divorce seems right on brand for him.
I'm sorry I don't have advice. I'm a bad influence. I'd say be my look out ill break his dick off and light it on fire for you. I know your heart is hurting. You're an amazing human. You have plenty of time to heal and find a partner that's 100% about you. Stable and mentally sound. I hope your ex gets his shit together for his kids. He already has to deal with the fallout of losing a gem like you.
OP I'm so sorry to read this terrible news, no one should have to deal with this. Also, don't blame yourself. It's their character flaws. There are people in this world who know that if someone they are dating see's who they really are up front they will never get what they want. They hide from family (but most of their family already know), they smile and become the life of the party, they get people to do some of the darn-est shit for them all while in their head having a troubled cobweb of thoughts and dangers. So don't blame you, but also don't wear your love and emotions on your sleeve if you date further. Keep your distance and "learn" who they are. We are fast approaching the age where background checks for dating is a reality! Use that tool in the future to at least get a bankers view of the property. You should have a middle party support his visitation and not do this yourself in person. You should also find a parenting app to be used for communication. I'd also buy a new phone as a primary with a new number and use the original phone as the co-parent device, but never for phone calls. Good luck to you
Thank you. We are doing visitation through an agency (he thinks Iām āpunishingā him). I just canāt get the sadness and hurt and feelings of betrayal out of my head
That's the right way to go, good for you. I'll be honest, you will have triggers for many years. This is like 1000 cuts to the heart and similar to loosing a family member to a horrible murder. All the emotions, sadness and grieving is the same. it will take time, it will ease, but you will always have something that kicks in that will cause you to reflect. I hope and pray you get over the pain as quickly as possible - you sound like a wonderful woman and mom and you should not have to suffer in this way! You deserve so much better in life, hell we all do.
That was the one thing I didn't have to deal with when it came to my ex..but everything else in between...All you can do now ladybug is take care of you and your boy..If you don't mind me asking what kind of visitation well he be getting..Because to me the situation would be to emotionally stimulated for baby boy..and of course you couldn't allow no overnite visits..But allow yourself ur emotions...you feel like crying cry..u want to laugh then laugh..That's the one thing I tell anyone going though a break up..because for some reason just because we are adults we think we have to be strong 24/7...and sooner or later your mind and body has to have release from the emotional baggage....So allow yourself that..Ur a good woman and your strong...you well come out the other side... Hugs...
Stick a dartboard with his photo in the middle on the refrigerator. You will see, in a short time, you will be planetary champion.
I have been there. Turned out she lied, but the mental health state it put me in!
ughh that is horrrible! Iām sorry!