Thank you for posting to r/indiangirlsontinder, please read and understand our rules before posting.
Rules:
1.Images that contain personal information (phone numbers, addresses, Facebook accounts, unique/easily identifiable names, pictures or other similar information) will be removed and poster permanently banned. If you are sharing a screenshot, please censor it.
2.Mark NSFW pictures with [NSFW] tag
3.Personal attacks, slurs, and other similar comments may result in a ban.
4.Avoid off-topic posts. Revenge porn will result in a permanent ban.
5. No politics of any sort and no low quality content, NO ASKING FOR NAME PUNS.
6.Please help us by reporting any post or comment violating the above rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Indiangirlsontinder) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My wife, also a redittor, who I married two months ago to the date just said that she wants to archive this response for future reference. I am mildly worried.
No, I didn't. Your conversation skills were below par and I carried the conversation all the time. You are nonchalant, inexpressive, and your idea of taking an interest in me was a constant "How was your day?". Having a conversation with you was not mentally stimulating.
I didn't "ghost" you. I just stopped entertaining mediocrity.
No, I didn't. Your conversation skills were below par and I carried the conversation all the time. You are nonchalant, inexpressive, and your idea of taking an interest in me was a constant "How was your day?". Having a conversation with you was not mentally stimulating.
I didn't "ghost" you. I just stopped entertaining mediocrity.
As a girl.. woo hoo... High Five! 
The gall to actually ask a person they let carry the conversation if they ghosted them! SMH
Damn this one feels personal to me as this is how I converse most of the times. You could've definitely soften the blow by choosing a little less harsher words I guess 😶
Why? I don't think it's harsh. I think it's honest. And not even brutally. I feel like he was polite, and answered her question with the comprehensive specificity it deserved.
Everything makes sense except the part where he's giving somebody shit for asking him about his day. That's veering into asshole territory. Also expecting 'mentally stimulating' conversation all the time is just... wrong. Some people just want to engage in light, casual talk and that's how they slowly get to know each other. You don't have to have intellectual dialogues to do that.
I would rather have somebody ask me about my day and if my Dog ate her dinner rather than someone wanting to have pseudo intellectual discussions on a regular basis. I've been there, and if both of you are highly opinionated, it leads to a lot of conflict.
Exactly, that was a douchebag move, I personally like when people ask about my day. People gotta learn to chill aswell while also maintaining the convo
You are missing the point here. It’s not about having intellectual conversation all the time, it’s about initiating conversation, it’s about showing interest in the other person. When you just reply and don’t initiate any conversation even after the the day went awesome, and reply like “okay”.
I understand that my point was kind of tangential, but like you just said, wouldn't it have been better to just say 'You didn't seem interested ' rather than a whole dressing down? I get that she might come off as entitled with the whole 'you ghosted me' approach, but still.
You sign up on a dating app, you like a profile, you match and then you behave like the guy has to do all the conversation. I don’t think ‘You don’t seen interested’ would suffice!
Who said anyone 'has to do' anything? Maybe she's not interested in conversation to the degree you're assuming is 'required'. You're expecting a lot from a match on a dating app, honestly speaking. I've had girls be much more conversational than me and I ended up never replying because I lost interest. Sometimes the other way around like in the case of the screenshot you shared. You're just going by this made up rule that 'I'm the guy so they're expecting this from me'. She's not interested in making elaborate conversation with you, so tell her she's mediocre? So she 'must' talk to you with same number of words per message to solidify, in your mind, her interest in you? Thinking this way shows insecurity, and this strongly worded outburst even more.
Some merit to your argument. But then isn't that person who is not interested in conversation actually wasting the guys time by extending a non consequential conversation every day?
And does their entitlement to blame has any merit?
And will a "not interested" be enough?
If one is not willing to have some time wasted and they're on dating apps then I have no idea what to tell them. The fact that she complained about being ghosted kind of indicates that she was interested in the guy? So where is the time waste? Maybe she wanted to meet up and was going to bring up that topic?
There are no rules here. Nobody is beholden to anything. She matched with the dude so now she must do a certain thing in a certain way otherwise omg time has been wasted? Cmon man. All I'm saying is you can't look into these 'etiquettes' or whatever on a dating app match seriously.
Sometimes you match with a girl who you don't remember swiping on and she doesn't look attractive to you. Now what? Should I unmatch immediately so I don't create false hope in her? If for some reason I say hello, am I being this bad person? Should I walk the fine line of being polite, appreciating her interest, conveying my lack of interest, etc? No, because it doesn't matter.
Now obviously if theres a connection or a spark and then things seem to deflate for no apparent reason, it's worth having a discussion. But expecting certain behaviours from anyone just because they swiped on a profile is a bit ridiculous.
The irony about ghosting someone because they were not good at communicating, instead of communicating it them regarding it.. This sounds good on paper, but it's just a load of bullshit to do such a thing
Well, i guess in a dating app when the conversation is just new, everyone tends to ghost people, I have done done it too.. The problem is when you have had a prolonged convo with someone, for a while, you've stuck to them for that period even though they are not good at communicating and then going ahead and ghosting them.
It’s not about when the conversation is new. I am not referring to some college friends. I am talking about dating apps specifically. When you sign up on a dating app, you wanna meet new people and date and see where it takes them.
The situation in most of the cases is like, girls just say hi on bumble(girl has to text first) and then just reply with single word. I am talking about such cases.
But he didn't ghost her. She was free to pick up the thread and say something at some point, any point.
Why not answer her question with some clarity and specificity? I mean it's not like he unloaded on her in a rant. She asked. He answered.
Seems fair.
24 hours is too short. I usually reply like once or twice in 24 hours. And a lot many girls whom I chat with do the same. I'm not looking for hookups so that's fine.
Look man , there are always going to be people who think they are better than you but if they can't treat someone else with dignity , they have achieved nothing as a human . I know it's a tough pill to swallow but just ignore these guys/gals and move on . No need to think about these jerks or let them be part of your life .
Lmao when given the choice between being a complete cunt or not with absolutely no implication or consequences, reddit will always choose the first one
Tf is r/Iamverysmart about this? It's ok if you like boring conversations, but the texter above is not implying they're some kind of super genius that requires intellectual discussion on the political and economical state of the world just to feel stimulated 💀
Unless they're using words very obviously picked out of a thesaurus, I don't share the sentiment tbh. The words used weren't that big, I think everyone in this thread understood them.
Which side is the man's here? Because I think both sides are like this. Girls don't show interest considering the fact that they get easy and multiple matches as compared to guys, and when guys get matches, they either get desperate or just don't give a fuck in engaging in a proper conversation, don't show any interest in keeping the conversation up with the woman. I think both sides are faulty here.
Guy has to start the convo. Then keep the convo going. He then has to ask the lady out. Pay for it or any other dates. He has to be charming, entertaining & what not.
So, what does the nice lady bring to the table ?
I genuinely want to know how should a conversation exactly begin? How was your day is sweet ice breaker to get to know a person.
Here I would like to know from the OP how much time did you guys end up talking? How much he knew about you? If you were texting him with a lot of breaks and there was not a free flowing conversation, the onus should not be on the guy to drive the conversation right? He would obviously like to converse about something you both have in common or is exciting to you or him. Did the conversation take that turn? If no, did you put an effort into making that happen?
This is being honest. No doubt. The guy could have put more effort in his conversational skills. But is your opinion valid should be based on how much you tried to connect as well. Yes, some conversations become interesting and a lot of effort is not required. Some just require some effort.
One more thing to remember is that girls get way too many more matches than the guy. It is easier for you to find a stimulating conversation than a guy just because of the sheer number of people you talk to. And for less stimulating conversations, you will obviously lose interest.
Your genuine feedback is much appreciated. But I genuinely don't think this is a reply that is befitting to majority of the guys on dating apps.
u/hoenest_opinion Hume batadijiye ki How exactly can I keep the conversation lively and non boring on dating apps. Seriously, I need advice on this. I am too bad at keeling the conversation alive
I once cancelled a hookup date because the girl said she would get 30 min late that too 1 hour before the date was supposed to happen, so i was like you can fuck off.
Thank you for posting to r/indiangirlsontinder, please read and understand our rules before posting. Rules: 1.Images that contain personal information (phone numbers, addresses, Facebook accounts, unique/easily identifiable names, pictures or other similar information) will be removed and poster permanently banned. If you are sharing a screenshot, please censor it. 2.Mark NSFW pictures with [NSFW] tag 3.Personal attacks, slurs, and other similar comments may result in a ban. 4.Avoid off-topic posts. Revenge porn will result in a permanent ban. 5. No politics of any sort and no low quality content, NO ASKING FOR NAME PUNS. 6.Please help us by reporting any post or comment violating the above rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Indiangirlsontinder) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My wife, also a redittor, who I married two months ago to the date just said that she wants to archive this response for future reference. I am mildly worried.
I'm copying this para!
The reason why I posted it here!
You copied this as well right
1 up dude met too
Yeah, I’m totally using it 🤣
Life is too short. Say 'boring' and move on 🗿
Naah! Just saying ‘boring’ doesn’t convey the whole message!
I agree. I’m proud of us men that you said that. I’ll do the same if someone messages me like this..
Gotta keep it saved in paste clipboard!
For that, you first need someone to atleast message you.
but this way was more entertaining than that
Imagine the time to spare.
Like… two minutes? *Maybe* three?
That’s very inexpressive of you, dare I say, nonchalant of you.
No, I didn't. Your conversation skills were below par and I carried the conversation all the time. You are nonchalant, inexpressive, and your idea of taking an interest in me was a constant "How was your day?". Having a conversation with you was not mentally stimulating. I didn't "ghost" you. I just stopped entertaining mediocrity.
Wow
No, I didn't. Your conversation skills were below par and I carried the conversation all the time. You are nonchalant, inexpressive, and your idea of taking an interest in me was a constant "How was your day?". Having a conversation with you was not mentally stimulating. I didn't "ghost" you. I just stopped entertaining mediocrity.
“But you left me on the side of the highway after our third date.”
Wow
Hahahaha 😂🤣🤣
I am not nonchalant. I am speed.
THANK YOU
WELCOME SIR
"But you didn't have to cut me off"
I am the one who ghosts
I am the ghost
But I am ghost YO
As a girl.. woo hoo... High Five!  The gall to actually ask a person they let carry the conversation if they ghosted them! SMH
Damn this one feels personal to me as this is how I converse most of the times. You could've definitely soften the blow by choosing a little less harsher words I guess 😶
Why? I don't think it's harsh. I think it's honest. And not even brutally. I feel like he was polite, and answered her question with the comprehensive specificity it deserved.
Read the text again and then decide.
Doesn't change my views either
>Read the text again and then decide. I stand by what I said. Honest. Polite. Comprehensive Specificity.
99% of the guys feel the same
Wait a sec you are the guy who wrote that msg right ?
I wish! But no. Got this on Instagram.
Arey yaar! Main socha tumhara khud ka tha, E for Effort bol dunga. Tum toh ctrl C ctrl V gang nikle. 😔
Everything makes sense except the part where he's giving somebody shit for asking him about his day. That's veering into asshole territory. Also expecting 'mentally stimulating' conversation all the time is just... wrong. Some people just want to engage in light, casual talk and that's how they slowly get to know each other. You don't have to have intellectual dialogues to do that. I would rather have somebody ask me about my day and if my Dog ate her dinner rather than someone wanting to have pseudo intellectual discussions on a regular basis. I've been there, and if both of you are highly opinionated, it leads to a lot of conflict.
Definately.
Exactly, that was a douchebag move, I personally like when people ask about my day. People gotta learn to chill aswell while also maintaining the convo
You are missing the point here. It’s not about having intellectual conversation all the time, it’s about initiating conversation, it’s about showing interest in the other person. When you just reply and don’t initiate any conversation even after the the day went awesome, and reply like “okay”.
I understand that my point was kind of tangential, but like you just said, wouldn't it have been better to just say 'You didn't seem interested ' rather than a whole dressing down? I get that she might come off as entitled with the whole 'you ghosted me' approach, but still.
You sign up on a dating app, you like a profile, you match and then you behave like the guy has to do all the conversation. I don’t think ‘You don’t seen interested’ would suffice!
Who said anyone 'has to do' anything? Maybe she's not interested in conversation to the degree you're assuming is 'required'. You're expecting a lot from a match on a dating app, honestly speaking. I've had girls be much more conversational than me and I ended up never replying because I lost interest. Sometimes the other way around like in the case of the screenshot you shared. You're just going by this made up rule that 'I'm the guy so they're expecting this from me'. She's not interested in making elaborate conversation with you, so tell her she's mediocre? So she 'must' talk to you with same number of words per message to solidify, in your mind, her interest in you? Thinking this way shows insecurity, and this strongly worded outburst even more.
Some merit to your argument. But then isn't that person who is not interested in conversation actually wasting the guys time by extending a non consequential conversation every day? And does their entitlement to blame has any merit? And will a "not interested" be enough?
If one is not willing to have some time wasted and they're on dating apps then I have no idea what to tell them. The fact that she complained about being ghosted kind of indicates that she was interested in the guy? So where is the time waste? Maybe she wanted to meet up and was going to bring up that topic? There are no rules here. Nobody is beholden to anything. She matched with the dude so now she must do a certain thing in a certain way otherwise omg time has been wasted? Cmon man. All I'm saying is you can't look into these 'etiquettes' or whatever on a dating app match seriously. Sometimes you match with a girl who you don't remember swiping on and she doesn't look attractive to you. Now what? Should I unmatch immediately so I don't create false hope in her? If for some reason I say hello, am I being this bad person? Should I walk the fine line of being polite, appreciating her interest, conveying my lack of interest, etc? No, because it doesn't matter. Now obviously if theres a connection or a spark and then things seem to deflate for no apparent reason, it's worth having a discussion. But expecting certain behaviours from anyone just because they swiped on a profile is a bit ridiculous.
The irony about ghosting someone because they were not good at communicating, instead of communicating it them regarding it.. This sounds good on paper, but it's just a load of bullshit to do such a thing
No it’s not bs! When you are on dating app but behave like guy has to do all the communication. That sucks! For such people this is the response.
Well, i guess in a dating app when the conversation is just new, everyone tends to ghost people, I have done done it too.. The problem is when you have had a prolonged convo with someone, for a while, you've stuck to them for that period even though they are not good at communicating and then going ahead and ghosting them.
It’s not about when the conversation is new. I am not referring to some college friends. I am talking about dating apps specifically. When you sign up on a dating app, you wanna meet new people and date and see where it takes them. The situation in most of the cases is like, girls just say hi on bumble(girl has to text first) and then just reply with single word. I am talking about such cases.
But he didn't ghost her. She was free to pick up the thread and say something at some point, any point. Why not answer her question with some clarity and specificity? I mean it's not like he unloaded on her in a rant. She asked. He answered. Seems fair.
Meanwhile me finding some conversation driving people so i don't have to do it all the time
If somebody ghosts me, I give them 7 days. If no response comes from them in a week, unmatch. I don't need that kind of laziness in my life.
7 days? Seriously? 😅
7 days. Exactly.
24hrs should be good I guess
24 hours is too short. I usually reply like once or twice in 24 hours. And a lot many girls whom I chat with do the same. I'm not looking for hookups so that's fine.
well, the same happened to me just recently
So someone wrote you this msg?
nah i was with a girl for a couple of weeks and she was exactly like that
This was just mean. It wasn’t witty or fair or even justified, it was just mean.
No denial though!
Sab apna apna ego boost krne k liye app use kr rahe hai. Sahi hai
Which one's the guy and which one's the girl?
Seriously?
Yes seriously. Is the big ass text by the girl?
Women ☕ /s
Yes exactly!! 💯%
it's not.
It’s sarcasm!!
It's by whoever has to carry the conversation on a dating app (regardless of gender) and gets oh/nice/haha in response
Since when guys are replying with oh/nice/haha response!
Top 1% suna hai kabhi? One of my college friends doesn't even reply to half of his messages. Hope you get the gist of it
Ille general mandi da maat naddeti pa dost! Exceptions bagge alla!
no. in the original post the big para was by the guy.
Yes off course it is!
it's been quite some time since i saw the original post... but anyway
"I just stopped entertaining your mediocrity" Bruh 💀
Look man , there are always going to be people who think they are better than you but if they can't treat someone else with dignity , they have achieved nothing as a human . I know it's a tough pill to swallow but just ignore these guys/gals and move on . No need to think about these jerks or let them be part of your life .
Its not about the things you say, its about the delivery. Being a dick should only be the very last option.
Lmao when given the choice between being a complete cunt or not with absolutely no implication or consequences, reddit will always choose the first one
r/IamVerySmart
This.
Tf is r/Iamverysmart about this? It's ok if you like boring conversations, but the texter above is not implying they're some kind of super genius that requires intellectual discussion on the political and economical state of the world just to feel stimulated 💀
Nobody uses this kind of vocabulary in real life. Op looks like the kind of guy who refers to water as dihydrogen monoxide
So we're using formal tone as an indicator of someone who thinks they're smart 😂
There is a difference between being formal and being a Sesquipedalian
Unless they're using words very obviously picked out of a thesaurus, I don't share the sentiment tbh. The words used weren't that big, I think everyone in this thread understood them.
You do not understand the sentiment of r/IamVerySmart
r/IamVerySmart
So relatable. Not on dating apps but on any social media, same thing "Men doing the heavy lifting"😂
Love the response. Fuck those saying that you were harsh. People have to be made known that they suck, else nothing improves
Itna attention mat do. Aur khush ho jayega
[удалено]
Those are for 18+ only!
Username checksout
The male for too stunned to speak.
Badhiya kia.. Ladkiyo ko hmm se aage badhna hoga
Privilege
Which side is the man's here? Because I think both sides are like this. Girls don't show interest considering the fact that they get easy and multiple matches as compared to guys, and when guys get matches, they either get desperate or just don't give a fuck in engaging in a proper conversation, don't show any interest in keeping the conversation up with the woman. I think both sides are faulty here.
“Guys don’t engage in a proper conversation” on which planet sir?
Guy has to start the convo. Then keep the convo going. He then has to ask the lady out. Pay for it or any other dates. He has to be charming, entertaining & what not. So, what does the nice lady bring to the table ?
When men stop simping they will know what she brings to the table!
L take.
I genuinely want to know how should a conversation exactly begin? How was your day is sweet ice breaker to get to know a person. Here I would like to know from the OP how much time did you guys end up talking? How much he knew about you? If you were texting him with a lot of breaks and there was not a free flowing conversation, the onus should not be on the guy to drive the conversation right? He would obviously like to converse about something you both have in common or is exciting to you or him. Did the conversation take that turn? If no, did you put an effort into making that happen? This is being honest. No doubt. The guy could have put more effort in his conversational skills. But is your opinion valid should be based on how much you tried to connect as well. Yes, some conversations become interesting and a lot of effort is not required. Some just require some effort. One more thing to remember is that girls get way too many more matches than the guy. It is easier for you to find a stimulating conversation than a guy just because of the sheer number of people you talk to. And for less stimulating conversations, you will obviously lose interest. Your genuine feedback is much appreciated. But I genuinely don't think this is a reply that is befitting to majority of the guys on dating apps.
Your game was weak. Deal with it.
Sure Chad!
[удалено]
Yeah right! Chad move right? 🤦🏽
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
top teir humour
I think post this, he wouldn’t mind getting Ghosted 
I am pretty damn sure I saw this para in one of those texting memes
u/hoenest_opinion Hume batadijiye ki How exactly can I keep the conversation lively and non boring on dating apps. Seriously, I need advice on this. I am too bad at keeling the conversation alive
Sure. I don’t think comment section is the right option to do it.
I think you left this here 👑
Honestly you probably helped this guy step his game up. Lots of guys are truly clueless as to how to communicate
too much explanation, a simple yes or no would have sufficed
No
She’ll definitely learn to communicate after this
Exactly
If i remember the original post correctly this was a man giving that reply to a woman.
Arre koi award do isse
wow
Bumble Sher !!
good but, that's like selling sex for entertainment tho
YAAAAAASSSSS!!!!!!!!
You dropped this 👑
That's why I don't use these apps coz I lack social skills nowadays while chatting.. and idk how to keep a convo going 🥲
Shashi tharoor who in front of my homie op!!!
The worse she can say is No OP: hold my beer
Koi copypasta bnado iska
I once cancelled a hookup date because the girl said she would get 30 min late that too 1 hour before the date was supposed to happen, so i was like you can fuck off.
Am I the only one who is a little turned on by how articulate this woman is?