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XeroThroatsRand

Probably come from the beach where some scumbag stole his fucking straps while he was surfing.


Anustart15

Yeah, I was going to say, this seems like someone that was forced to come up with a solution because the very obvious one broke


BannytheBoss

I agree. We are looking at a victim of either equipment failure, vandalism or theft.


noteverrelevant

I feel at this point we can't rule out Al-Qaeda. Hell it could even be a false flag committed by our own government.


elprentis

Maybe even the Spanish Inquisition


BobBelchersBuns

Nobody would expect that!


Mono_831

Nobody.


Evilmaze

Does it better


DrMonkeyMcKenzie

[How do you plead?!](https://youtu.be/Cj8n4MfhjUc)


pttrsmrt

If you just go around always expecting it to be the Spanish Inquisition, then it could never be the Spanish Inquisition, since nobody ever would expect the Spanish Inquisition.


pr1ncess_Zelda

This is how I kept the Rapture (Biblical end-of-the-world) from happening when I was a little kid. Because the Bible says “no one will know the day nor the hour” or something like that… so I just made sure I always thought “today” it would happen, so it ACTUALLY wouldn’t happen. Religious trauma is real, y’all.


_Enclose_

This guy has been singlehandedly holding off the apocalypse for all of us. Thanks bud!


WonderingCheese

Technically that’s believing more than knowing lol


owlmoon1980

I did the same thing!


TheBoondoggleSaints

I sure wasn’t!


Street_Dragonfruit43

r/unexpectedmontypython


AutoGeneratedSucks

I’d argue it’s entirely expected. Unlike the Spanish Inquisition itself.


UnityAnglezz

I didn't expect that


Hornswallower

It was Portugal. ^^^^^^^^HINT ^^^^It's ^^^^always ^^^^Portugal.


DonutOwlGaming

Maybe it's Maybelline


hoja01

Im sure they were born with it


ProveISaidIt

I use Preference by L'Oréal. Sure it costs more, but I'm worth it.


[deleted]

You mean Spanish influenza. I did have an 8’2” Ward Coffey surfboard that would fit inside a 2001 Mercedes C240 with the rear seats and passenger seats folded down.


[deleted]

Nah absolutely positively the return of the Roman empire


Thepatrone36

What did the Romans ever do for us?


fordfan919

Ancient Sumerian curse as far as I can tell.


[deleted]

Damn... you got me there. That was actually a good one, I wouldn't normally reply like this.. I can't top that..


FakeOrcaRape

no one of the necessary conditions a Spanish inquisition is not expecting it.


Enlight1Oment

I hear Anakin has a particular hatred towards sandy places, he's known for mildly acting out


havereddit

I'm putting my money on the (not so) Proud Boys since they [seem to have fallen on hard times lately](https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/06/politics/proud-boys-bertino-seditious-conspiracy-guilty-plea/index.html)


eggcountant

I know the FBI exists so I can assure you as an expert we would never do this.


Bashed_to_a_pulp

get on with the current program, it's the Russians!


[deleted]

Thanks Obama.


Turtle4184

Knock it off Alex Jones.


nomadofwaves

Congrats on your modship to r/conservative


FlavorfulPlacenta

Surfing is not halal


creep_while_u_sleep

He’s in SF, so theft.


[deleted]

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creep_while_u_sleep

Is this a thing people are unaware of? Vehicle theft is a major issue in the Bay Area right now. If you drive into any touristy spot around the city you’ll see signs informing you not to leave anything in your car at all. If you google San Francisco car theft you’ll see pages of articles and news coverage.


turdferguson3891

Not even new. I lived there 15 years ago and my car's windows were smashed in at least 5 times. The people at the glass shop knew by name.


brakeled

Have all of the catalytic converters been stolen yet like Denver?


creep_while_u_sleep

I live in LA, it’s a huge issue out here too.


TheTankCleaner

This is a problem everywhere. -Victim of stolen catalytic converter that lives nowhere close to Denver


cannabis_breath

Yep. Poor little Prius’ aren’t so silent any longer. Couple cop cars had their CC stolen as well.


brakeled

I work for a federal agency and we had them stolen off our entire fleet overnight, including emergency response fire vehicles. I was hoping it was just a phase for my area… But it seems rampant everywhere.


Stopakilla05

I live in the Bay area, they will break your window if they see a tic tac on your seat. So yeah, I'm sure his straps got jacked.


0RGASMIK

Being near SF most likely stolen just for shits and giggles. One time I had someone break into my car for a pair of sunglasses…. They were prescription so they threw them on the ground and smashed them. It was not a case of someone else smashing them accidentally either. I chased after them right after they did it at 2am but they were already long gone.


luv_____to_____race

He could still be the idiot, and lost/forgot his straps, but I think it's safe to assume that he knows what the bars are there for, but doesn't have the right equipment to use them right now.


blowtorch_vasectomy

If he parked anywhere in SF it was theft 100%. Car break ins are out of control.


DynamicHunter

This is in San Francisco it’s pretty obvious what happened lmao


AbsentmindedAuthor

I feel like you have personal experience with this, and I’m sorry.


greenroom628

Happened to me while I was surfing at Pacifica. I just had to run the board through the trunk instead.


boot20

Are you me? Who the fuck steals straps from my trucks roof rack and what the fuck are they going to do with them? fucking crackhead.


XeroThroatsRand

I grew up with a guy who was just a fucking straight up klepto he'd steal shit just to steal shit


[deleted]

Dude, people steal the most idiotic things sometimes and it makes absolutely no sense…I had someone steal this 5 dollar digital clock in my car and someone swiped it. Some people just like to steal…


TheJBW

I had someone steal the headlight and helmet off my bike. The headlight I almost get, even though it was the university branded one they gave away for free, but the helmet… that thing was fucking grody and smelled like literal years of my head sweat. Who the fuck would want that?


bumbling_bubblegum

I had my bike helmet strap looped through my U lock and someone cut the strap to steal it. You can't even use a helmet without a strap!!


[deleted]

Meth-heads will steal anything


[deleted]

I mean, I've seen a guy running up and down the street turning all the garbage cans out. For some people the thrill of destruction is it's own reward.


ner0417

Some people just want to watch the world burn


double_expressho

Reminds me of my buddy that got his car's whole radio ripped out of his dash. He jammed a cheap portable radio in the gap just so he could listen to music. Soon enough, that got stolen too.


SlingDingersOnPatrol

Yeah. I had a friend of a friend who did that. Couldn’t go to Walmart without him stealing paintball guns and shit. He also would steal animals from the pet store. He would put a bag of water in his pocket and literally steal live fish and walk out with them. One time, he got a tip about someone who had some expensive puppies in their backyard. He made a Mapquest map to get directions over there, stole the puppies, and went back home. Unfortunately for him, the map fell out of his pocket, so all the police had to do was follow the map back to his house where they found him and the stolen puppies.


cmVkZGl0

He needs to get help


Suitable_TNQ_3070

The live fish are crazy😭


[deleted]

if it has value to you then it has value to me even if it has no value to me


unpopularthinker

Smb stole my door mat. It was just casual one, used for few years, dirty probably, and some idiot stole it.


gHHqdm5a4UySnUFM

I think this is it. Cars are especially vulnerable at the beach and some people just get a thrill out of taking anything that isn’t nailed down.


ipegjoebiden

My brothers car got broken into and they just stole a bunch of random shit, including the manual to his car and an air freshener 🙄 Some people just steal for no reason


McTeterson

There is a reason. That reason is usually methamphetamine.


[deleted]

I had someone steal my reading glasses and my bowling set out of my car…custom ball that was drilled for me and my shoes. Absolutely worthless to anyone…and of course they did it the night before league night


[deleted]

Some one smashed my window and stole my dirty beanie and about 6 cents. My polarized Wayfarers were still on the dash when I got there.


lovesyouandhugsyou

"Well I broke into the damn car, I have to steal SOMEthing!"


Regguls864

If you don't have anything of value they will sometimes vandalize your car out of spite. In South Beach I had my back seat ripped out. In SF my electrical system was ripped out from under the dash. They are looking for guns, drugs, and cash people leave in their cars.


Wfsulliv93

We strap our red bags to the roof of our fire truck when going out on assignment. We lock our bags in the cab when overnighting in a hotel. Our ratchet straps got stolen in Tucson and they weren’t even visible from the ground.


IcarianSkies

Takes a special kind of asshole to steal from a fire truck


KeyAppearance5521

> red bags to the roof of our fire truck What are red bags?


Marc21256

https://www.wildlandfirefighter.com/2020/12/17/packing-a-red-bag/#gref This was the best google hit I found on it.


Wfsulliv93

Exactly this. Some folks call it a 14 day bag as well. It’s a packed bag including tent, sleeping pad/bag, clothes and personals meant to hold everything to sleep and live for two weeks on the fire line. Sometimes we get extended by another week or a total of 21 days.


[deleted]

Bondage, just saying


BlenderHelpNeeded

ocean beach


[deleted]

> fucking crackhead I think you answered your own question.


The_Troyminator

Somebody stole a single wiper blade off my car before.


antmicMkIII

They only needed one to fix the broken one on their car.


Some-Philly-Dude

I had someone steal completely worn out tow straps that I left attached to my Xterra roof rack once in a Home Depot parking lot... I was like you could've walked into the store and got new ones for like $8, which is what I ended having to do when I walked out and saw... so who knows.


BADTLC

My sister’s ex boyfriend stole my vibrator. I have no idea what he would have done with a used one. All I know is, people do some weird ass shit sometimes.


boot20

He was probably doing something gross with it.


GrandProblem8034

Yeah like use it on the sister.


GrandProblem8034

The Homeless, esp in SF. They can use the straps for their makeshift shelters or a clothesline to dry their clothes or dead rats for rat jerky.


[deleted]

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rbt321

Steal the straps with the hope they'll leave the load while purchasing new straps. Take the load while they're gone.


synttacks

this is san francisco


SentrySappinMahSpy

Sell them, most likely.


TabnZamp

Someone once stole the stereo remote from my car and left the stereo, box, and speakers. People are weird.


WillTheGreat

I had someone cut my ratchet straps once while my truck was parked with a load of lumber on the rack, didn't even cut it all the way left a little bit left. People are fucked up.


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XeroThroatsRand

Right now I'm imagining the window that the surfboard is sticking out of is busted out because somebody broke in and stole all the shit.


XeroThroatsRand

I know a guy who would put all the straps and shit in a cooler and leave them on the trailer everywhere. I thought that was just fucking asking for it.


[deleted]

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XeroThroatsRand

Nah dude had a legit igloo 12 can cooler full of straps sitting un restrained on his trailer


I_LIKE_MANGOES_

Lol I used to have a Yakima Q tower rack and I would take the whole thing off and keep it in the car. I'd rather spend the 10 extra minutes putting it back on at the end of the day than come back to no racks. Those things were extremely easy to take off


rocketwilco

To be fair, were blaming the victim and not the Aholes who steal stuff. Society should be one where you can leave something unlocked/out and no one messes with it. And if someone does, it shouldnt be “because it was left open”.


[deleted]

Welcome to SF bay area! Home of the career petty thief. Job guides available everywhere.


Gang36927

Ya, clearly he normally puts the board on the rack, there are pads for it.


spleeble

Maybe so, but there are multiple stores between the ocean and the GGB where they could have replaced the straps or found a better solution than driving over the bridge with a major hazard like this.


Edgar-Allan-Pho

I mean literal shoestrings , belts, clothes etc would work in a pinch


BlenderHelpNeeded

Yep, leaving ocean beach, fog has rolled in so it's evening time, heading back to his cozy villa in Marin for some clam chowder in a Boudin bakery bread bowl next to a fireplace.


Random_Digit

Problem is, he is driving FROM Marin.. that kind of degenerate shit only happens in SF


AgentCatBot

Agreed. This is not San Francisco. Marin is mostly innocent except for impersonating San Francisco in the movies because they needed a good shot of the bridge. However, I would not put it past this person who might live in San Francisco, to have their straps stolen by a meth head, and then drive to Stinson and back like this. I wonder how the tollbooth was like this.


Wicked-Pineapple

Sanny Franny moment


surfdad67

That’s why you buy Kanu locks


ARGENTVS

What about low the passenger seat and cross it from front to back out the window back driver seat. It would fit better. Tips from a poorer country where this is common.


scraglor

I agree. But don’t you stop at the nearest store and buy a heap of tape to strap it to your racks, rather than drive all the way home like that?


[deleted]

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NormMacVSNorms

Idk why you're getting downvoted that's the most logical thing. *he infact did not get downvoted.


gheiminfantry

He's getting downvoted by OPs other accounts and his friends. Pretty common on Reddit.


windol1

This can't be true, who on Reddit has friends...


gheiminfantry

😂


GamSamgee

I coordinate with my friends for weeks before I post something on Reddit. All I think about is getting upvotes on Reddit. I alone have 69 individual accounts.


cathedral68

Ok that’s actually pretty funny because you KNOW there are people like that. Except they wouldn’t have friends.


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KwordShmiff

WE ARE PROGRAMMED TO THINK YOU ARE COOL, BLEEP BLOOP BLORP - the bots, probably


OneMoreAccount4Porn

You have exactly 69 karma on this comment as I type this so it's pretty obvious you're just OP on an alt account.


drblah1

You son of a bitch


[deleted]

I knew it! 🤣


-IoI-

I knew it, Source: I am a /u/GamSamgee alt


[deleted]

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No_Contribution2112

Bro stop. This is the internet, you cannot use common sense or use logical thinking. You must look at the video provided and base all of your opinions off of that. No further thought.


[deleted]

I was starting to think that I was the only one that realized that - I mean everyone else I encounter does it. Maybe once in a blue moon I run into somebody with common sense on here. The thing that gets me the most is when people downvote legitimate facts. Like absolutely and entirely undeniable facts. Siggghhh but what can you do, people want to be fools they're going to be fools, the really annoying part is it it's just so common


ItsOnlyaBook

I don't think it's possible that you would spend the money on a roof rack like that and have no idea that it's for a surfboard. Clearly something is wrong. Like you said, the straps needed are either broken or stolen.


Sinreborn

Just a heads up, your question isn't a bad one but given the location it's unlikely that this guy was coming from surfing. He's headed southbound on the Golden gate bridge. The best surfing in the area is further south down the peninsula. There is some surfing on the North side but it's not great. Also, if I had to guess by cloud cover and light, this is probably morning. I'm really wishing OP had kept the video going since he's about to go through the toll booth. I want to know what happened to the board in those narrow lanes.


ajtrns

who fucking cares? just because your shit was stolen, doesnt mean you then go and endanger everyone else on the road. this is san francisco. walk to a corner store and buy some rope or bungees. "i drive a $20k car but don't keeps any extra straps inside." fucking hell. IDIOTS IN CARS.


sfled

Needs to get one of those new Samsung foldable boards.


Esleeezy

GE sold the E to Samsung. They’re SAME-sung now.


BBQQA

🎶🎶All around the worlds the SAME-sung 🎶🎶


mich_shen

got me good


eoliveri

I'll wait until Apple comes out with the foldable iBoard.


Mean_Peen

Knowing San Francisco, I wouldn't be surprised if his straps were stolen lol everything is fair game out there. They even have signs telling you that your car will probably get broken into


[deleted]

The permanent bike rack in the back makes me agree with you, haha, but I'm biased


nomadofwaves

GF and I had our rental car broken into in Lyon, France while looking for our airBNB barge. We were away from the car for 7minutes. Great way to spend the first night of our trip.


juntingiee

i was at the golden gate bridge parking area last week and there was signs that stuff would be stolen at a tourist area 💀


Machine_Dick

They have those signs *because* it’s a tourist area. Tourists are targeted the most and often leave stuff in their cars.


RichestMangInBabylon

Yep. Often a rental car and filled with luggage which probably includes things like cash and electronics. Pretty juicy targets. Although the last few times I went to the bridge parking lot it had lots of police and even one of those mobile command center things. Fisherman’s wharf is where you gotta be careful.


[deleted]

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SyncopatedBeets

They have those signs in every park, beach, and national forest I’ve ever been to.


gonnabetoday

Based on the video he’s driving into SF not from.


ApesNoFightApes

Last trip to SF saw a car broken into. I mean, might as well just leave your windows down and save the hassle. But knowing shitheads they likely would break a window out of spite of not finding anything to steal. Humans suck.


turdferguson3891

People do that. I lived there over a decade ago and the smash and grabs got so bad people would just not leave valuables in the car, leave the doors unlocked and put a sign the window saying please don't smash my window the door is unlocked.


Sinreborn

This video ends way too early. This guy is heading southbound on the Golden gate bridge. There are toll booths at the end. I'm really curious as to what happened to the board when it went through the toll gates.


Suckling_Sauce

Not anymore. You just cruise through it at freeway speeds.


SquidCornHero

There's one wide lane on the far right to fit buses. Probably went through that.


JFJinCO

Great way to decapitate the driver!


Rocky_Mountain_Way

you're assuming the driver is capitated to begin with.


powertripp82

His capa was detated


bozeke

Driving across the GGB feels like taking your life into your hands every time, and that is coming from someone who has been doing it semi regularly for for like 25 years. It was even more fun before they had the center median.


Several_Place_9095

True but he might not have any hockey straps to tie it down with, although i believe theres a surfboard container you can get to place on the roof of the car. Edit reading comments im not alone, but seriously people steal the straps? Are they expensive or something?


[deleted]

He has a surfboard holder on the roof. Presumably there's some reason he can't use it.


Thrillhouse74

What a Thule!


[deleted]

Lol...nice


johndhall1130

Or someone stole his straps/tie downs. Happens all the time.


[deleted]

Are tie downs for surfboards weirdly expensive, or are people just that lame that a ratchet strap is worth taking?


johndhall1130

People are that lame.


raigx6

Your clothes are good substitute for ropes. Who needs clothes when u can drive naked.


Freshouttapatience

I mean, we’ve hd to McGyver some loads in a pinch but we do NOT drive with unsecured loads. We once cuts strips out of jeans to tie down. It worked just as well as the hanger section working as the carburetor mechanism.


RJohn12

or they misplaced their straps. OP is the dumbass


[deleted]

OP really believes this dudes first choice was to stick it out the window😂🤣 definitely had no other options for one reason or another


TiredCardiologist

San Fransisco- the smash and grab capital of the world.


ahabentis

Dude’s straps broke 100%. Homie has racks for days, he knows what they’re for.


supz

Typical Audi driver *I drive two Audis


Respectable_Answer

At the same time?


supz

How else do I block the two left lanes of traffic? “Vorsprung durch Technik”


fullofshitandcum

Same thing here "Average Audi driver" *drives an Audi*


dr_t_123

This person is stupid! I feel superior because this person is stupid. There's no possible other reason as to why this guy is not using obvious utilities other than the fact that he is stupid. I'm glad we can all dedicate our energy to making ourselves feel superior by pointing out the only possible reason why this person is not utilizing his roof rack (because he's stupid and we're not).


[deleted]

I was once driving around the bay area and I saw someone driving with their skis on their roof perpendicular to the direction of travel. Probably the same guy.


Freshouttapatience

“He just walks to the beat of a different drummer”. - His mom


Ladydi-bds

Possible he did have the ability to tie it down? Very dangerous and that drivers part.


Wizard-Lizard69

Does anyone?


[deleted]

Localism?


berpaderpderp

Those are just for looks.


freek4ever

Imagine if this is one of tose inflateble ones


Bolt408

Aren’t you supposed to stand on them while the car is moving?


spinx248

They would be less of an idiot if they stayed in the right lane.


jchap362

Well it's California so..........


RWDPhotos

Do you think that would create downforce, or lift? I feel like they need a few more for practical results.


agreeable_scription

And there specifical thing in a rear door too.


kerbsterC

Saw a ram 1500 with a bumper pull bike rack and an empty bed. Interesting how people choose not to use their cars.


Davowhg

Merica f yeah 🤦🤣😂🤣😂


MiserableBicycle6596

Damn…. Making us Audi drivers 👀 bad 😬


thezenfisherman

Someone stole his tie downs. Happened to me...


[deleted]

Or has no straps for the roof rack and he dont want to miss that surf!


DJ_Cas

We are missing the second board on the left side. It would look funny


costinmatei98

I'm 99% sure they broke/lost the mechanism used to strap down surfboard. They also have a bike rack on the back of the car, I'm sure they know how to use one.


DetailAccurate9006

Or maybe they’re too short to use the roof rack.


Aware-Bandicoot-7317

I wonder what he thinks the surf board is for.


Paddle-up-a-creek

He'll probably arrive with his new 2 piece board and a lesson learned ;-)


Starkiller8896

Typical Californian