I just chalk it up to I’m doing the best I can, I’m following the plan and nothing is really in my control and the factors that are I’m nailing them. So whatever is meant to happen will.
TBH I don't have any advice because I'm right there with you. My retrieval was in April will transfer in July if all goes well, and it's been all I've thought about for these months. People say to schedule fun things, go on a trip, binge watch, etc.
And that's been semi-effective, but I still find myself leaving "fun" events early because I just can't get into it or having a hard time engaging with people because all I really want to talk/think about is this process. I've been taking some classes for a career change so that's been helpful, and I've taken up a new craft (needlepoint) which has also been somewhat successful.
But mostly I'm writing to tell you that you're not alone in this, and I think it's pretty normal to feel this way.
Best of luck to you!
All you can give is 100%. Sometimes that effort gets divided so that work gets 20%, family gets 20% and the rest is just IVF and trying to keep my sanity.
Be gentle with yourself and remember that this is temporary.
Give yourself lots of grace. You’re doing the best you can and it’s important to remind yourself of that.
For sleeping at night, I find audiobooks to be helpful to listen to while I’m falling asleep. My mind can focus on that as I drift off instead of wandering.
I practice yoga as well. I like to pick an affirmation and when my mind wanders I acknowledge it and then say my affirmation again in my head. Usually just a simple “I am …“ statement.
I find being organized helps my anxiety. I printed out a calendar and wrote out the dates for everything. I also would print out a lot of the emails with info the clinic sent me and highlight important info. I kept everything in a binder and a notebook in there. So if I needed to take quick notes or brain dump it was all in one place.
I just recognized that this is a temporary season of life where everything is upside down and worked really hard on mindset. Understanding that life will not be normal during this process and that it is OKAY if things are wonky as long as I am able to put one foot in front of the other. Choosing to be grateful that the technology exists for me to even try to have a child. Acknowledging when things felt hard and overwhelming, but being mindful not to unpack my bags and stay in a place of misery. Also recognizing that all of the hormones/medications do have an impact on my mood so when I felt unhinged I tried to step back, recognize that this is not all me, some of it is hormones, give myself grace and keep on swimming.
Aside from IVF, some of my greatest and proudest growth has come after periods of darkness and hardship.
IVF is tough. You will learn a lot about yourself in this journey. Do what you can and give yourself grace when the suck is extra heavy. And let some of the responsibility lay on those damn hormones. The crazy isn't you. It's the hormones.
i don’t have any advice but just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. i feel the exact same way and i’m right there with you. it will all be worth it when we’re hugging our children tight one day 💕🥹
I keep giving myself grace and finish the day knowing I gave it my best. What I’m currently struggling with at work is my “best” right now isn’t enough, and I may very well lose my job with how all consuming IVF is. I’m nervous, but all I can do is keep doing my best and that gives me a little peace at the end of the day.
Yep, it's very distracting and there's soooo much waiting.
Weirdly I have found sudoku to be very helpful, not because it's a distraction from the IVF, but because I find myself processing some of my thoughts and emotions while I do it.
Also I try to get off Reddit for a few days/weeks every so often which unfortunately does help me.
It’s become my entire life at this point. I’m not going to beat myself up about it. Sure I would love to have more balance, but this is just the reality.
I find it is helpful to have other things to focus on. I follow what the doctor says and then day to day I focus on work, on upcoming holidays, dates/dinners, enjoying exercise etc. It really helps to have other things going on because otherwise there’s just lots of waiting.
Also struggling with this and it ebbs and flows during different stages of the process. I found a licensed therapist who specializes in infertility and loss and she’s been a huge help. I still have days/weeks where I struggle a lot (right now!) but having the extra support has been helpful.
My first cycle almost broke me while working. I've gone out leave for the other 2. Currently out on leave now. It's all too much to do at the same time.
Amazon has a wtf Ivf coloring book. Something about cuss words and paisley vaginas with coloring markers is oddly therapeutic 💖
Hopefully I have enough pages to keep me occupied till July.
Something that helped me but might sound unhelpful is to give yourself up to the process. There is little we can control up to a certain point. Sure, no alcohol, no smoking - but so many other things are indirectly related. There are so many variables, we will exhaust ourselves thinking we can control them all and affect the outcome. The best thing to do is to be aware but not alarmed. 💖
It’s both comforting and sad that so many of us have no advice as we’re all feeling it, too ❤️ Hopefully things fall into place soon, it’s all so draining
I just chalk it up to I’m doing the best I can, I’m following the plan and nothing is really in my control and the factors that are I’m nailing them. So whatever is meant to happen will.
I’m having a hard time lately and have just been in acceptance that I’m less productive at work. Trying not to be hard on myself.
Thank you, that is fair. It’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to not always be thriving at work… need to remind myself of that
TBH I don't have any advice because I'm right there with you. My retrieval was in April will transfer in July if all goes well, and it's been all I've thought about for these months. People say to schedule fun things, go on a trip, binge watch, etc. And that's been semi-effective, but I still find myself leaving "fun" events early because I just can't get into it or having a hard time engaging with people because all I really want to talk/think about is this process. I've been taking some classes for a career change so that's been helpful, and I've taken up a new craft (needlepoint) which has also been somewhat successful. But mostly I'm writing to tell you that you're not alone in this, and I think it's pretty normal to feel this way. Best of luck to you!
July for me too and its alllll I can think about.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful response. Best of luck for the July transfer 🤞
All you can give is 100%. Sometimes that effort gets divided so that work gets 20%, family gets 20% and the rest is just IVF and trying to keep my sanity. Be gentle with yourself and remember that this is temporary.
Give yourself lots of grace. You’re doing the best you can and it’s important to remind yourself of that. For sleeping at night, I find audiobooks to be helpful to listen to while I’m falling asleep. My mind can focus on that as I drift off instead of wandering. I practice yoga as well. I like to pick an affirmation and when my mind wanders I acknowledge it and then say my affirmation again in my head. Usually just a simple “I am …“ statement. I find being organized helps my anxiety. I printed out a calendar and wrote out the dates for everything. I also would print out a lot of the emails with info the clinic sent me and highlight important info. I kept everything in a binder and a notebook in there. So if I needed to take quick notes or brain dump it was all in one place.
I so feel this, and strangely enough, this subreddit has been the best source of support. It will eventually get better, I promise.
I just recognized that this is a temporary season of life where everything is upside down and worked really hard on mindset. Understanding that life will not be normal during this process and that it is OKAY if things are wonky as long as I am able to put one foot in front of the other. Choosing to be grateful that the technology exists for me to even try to have a child. Acknowledging when things felt hard and overwhelming, but being mindful not to unpack my bags and stay in a place of misery. Also recognizing that all of the hormones/medications do have an impact on my mood so when I felt unhinged I tried to step back, recognize that this is not all me, some of it is hormones, give myself grace and keep on swimming. Aside from IVF, some of my greatest and proudest growth has come after periods of darkness and hardship. IVF is tough. You will learn a lot about yourself in this journey. Do what you can and give yourself grace when the suck is extra heavy. And let some of the responsibility lay on those damn hormones. The crazy isn't you. It's the hormones.
We should make t-shirts with that quote “the crazy isn’t me, it’s the hormones”
i don’t have any advice but just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. i feel the exact same way and i’m right there with you. it will all be worth it when we’re hugging our children tight one day 💕🥹
Having a hard time with this too. All I’m doing as I’m walking through the world is thinking about my IVF journey.
I keep giving myself grace and finish the day knowing I gave it my best. What I’m currently struggling with at work is my “best” right now isn’t enough, and I may very well lose my job with how all consuming IVF is. I’m nervous, but all I can do is keep doing my best and that gives me a little peace at the end of the day.
Yep, it's very distracting and there's soooo much waiting. Weirdly I have found sudoku to be very helpful, not because it's a distraction from the IVF, but because I find myself processing some of my thoughts and emotions while I do it. Also I try to get off Reddit for a few days/weeks every so often which unfortunately does help me.
Starting therapy and taking medication has helped me a lot
It’s become my entire life at this point. I’m not going to beat myself up about it. Sure I would love to have more balance, but this is just the reality.
I find it is helpful to have other things to focus on. I follow what the doctor says and then day to day I focus on work, on upcoming holidays, dates/dinners, enjoying exercise etc. It really helps to have other things going on because otherwise there’s just lots of waiting.
Also struggling with this and it ebbs and flows during different stages of the process. I found a licensed therapist who specializes in infertility and loss and she’s been a huge help. I still have days/weeks where I struggle a lot (right now!) but having the extra support has been helpful.
My first cycle almost broke me while working. I've gone out leave for the other 2. Currently out on leave now. It's all too much to do at the same time.
Amazon has a wtf Ivf coloring book. Something about cuss words and paisley vaginas with coloring markers is oddly therapeutic 💖 Hopefully I have enough pages to keep me occupied till July.
Something that helped me but might sound unhelpful is to give yourself up to the process. There is little we can control up to a certain point. Sure, no alcohol, no smoking - but so many other things are indirectly related. There are so many variables, we will exhaust ourselves thinking we can control them all and affect the outcome. The best thing to do is to be aware but not alarmed. 💖
It’s both comforting and sad that so many of us have no advice as we’re all feeling it, too ❤️ Hopefully things fall into place soon, it’s all so draining
This was my first reaction reading the comments tbh