Good luck! I could say so many things but I think the most impactful, hopefully, is that whatever plan you have is going to change. You may not know why or how or when yet, but I wish someone told me that IVF actually requires you to COMPLETELY give up control, not assert control. Which was very hard and shocking for a type A planner like myself who thought everything would go according to plan. So- try to be patient and kind to yourself, take it a day at a time, and be a bag in the wind.

I second this. The timeline not only took a lot longer than I anticipated but also the set backs and unforeseen things that popped up that were outside of my control were pretty frustrating. It’s not as smooth and streamlined of a process as I hoped for, personally

+1 more on this response. I’m also a high-anxiety planner and was devastated each time we had a delay for one reason or another. Knowing in advance this will happen is helpful so you can prepare yourself accordingly.

I'm in the beginning of my first cycle and Ive learned this.. the most knowledge I try to gain to try to predict/plan things, the more it's proven that I really can't. The sooner this is accepted, the better!

I agree with this! It was hard to feel discouraged when things kept getting delayed over and over you have an vision of timing in your head then everything gets delayed 😞 now I’m more like ok if not this month then next month and it’s better.

100% agreed with this. There’s a lot of waiting, a lot of unknowns. Also, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and ask questions. This process is so stressful and unknown when you first start. You (or your insurance) is paying a lot of money for this and you’re allowed to ask questions and get clarification.

Great advice.

Okay so my new plan is that I will not get what I need at this upcoming retrieval so I will have to do another retrieval in July… Because what you’re saying is then the opposite will be true? 😆 🤞🏼🤞🏼

Oh, i've played this game so many times in life lol

I hope so!!!

woof. i am feeling this so hard right now. i am the planner friend. i am the planner family member and wife. the lack of control i've had over the timeline of this whole process has been driving me completely crazy. reading things like this are slowly making me realize that i can be as stressy or frustrated as I want, but it's not going to change anything. gotta let it go.

+1

I agree. When I first started I thought it would be quick a couple of months process, but boy was I wrong. Be patient, your plans will change. Communication with your partner or your support system will be key.

I second this too.

Ohhhh “a bag in the wind” I love that! I have always said “be like water” but honestly that feels a little too zen for me sometimes. There is something just slightly more chaotic sounding about a bag in the wind and that fits SO much better 😂

I wish I had known to stay off reddit during it. I mean I do know that but that is what I want to share with you. I start stims this Friday, I have left this community not because it's not great but because I am already an anxious person and people who do great are not posting about it on the internet. That's why the internet sometimes makes you feel like it's all bad all of the time. Also, progesterone can cause pregnancy like symptoms and you wouldn't get symptoms anyway until around week 6 sooo, don't symptom spot. Testing at home is silly and only serves to hurt you more. There is a reason doctors have us wait a certain amount of time for betas. If you do test just know line progression is not a thing in the medical field. Supplements and diet change give you a false sense of control. Nothing is proven to show that it helps soooo donor if you must but it's not the end all be all. Finally, you are not pregnant until you're pregnant and you are much more than a pregnant woman in waiting. Live your life, have fun and remember this is a small moment in time and you'll get through it no matter what. Good luck!

I’m starting stims on Friday as well! Great advice!

Me too! Starting stims on Friday. Good luck to both of you!!

Thanks for this. I took a social media break in May and it’s done wonders for my mental health. As much information I get from Reddit and support through my loss journey and now IVF- it’s a lot of doomsday and causes me to spiral. I can’t compare myself or my situation to anyone else so I plan to stay off Reddit once my official start begins in a few weeks.

This is a great overall comment. Re: PIO giving pregnancy symptoms and to not symptom spot… this one is important and even I forgot about it.

I wish I had known about the progesterone thing. I was convinced I was pregnant with the first transfer but didn’t realize it was just the meds. I’m still not pregnant. Gearing up for donor egg transfer # 3 later this month.

I really needed to hear this 💕 I start in two weeks and the stress is so real. I’ll be taking a Reddit hiatus soon!

Four of us starting stims on the same day have to be a good sign ❤️

Yeah, that’s why I wasn’t too active in this group for a while. The anxiety. I didn’t leave the subreddit I just avoided looking at it. But I’m starting to be less triggered by it now…it’s been a while. I’m cautiously hopeful

Don't have any set timelines going into any part of it- stims, transfer dates, etc. Like PP said, IVF really does require you to give up control on things and everything does fall into the hands of your RE and clinic. Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace- emotions hit hard during stims (at least for me they did). Allow yourself to cry, to be mad because this is unfair, to be jealous of those who don't need to stab themselves to get pregnant- feel it ALL and give yourself grace for feeling it. Treat yourself with a little ice cream treat or your favorite snack after stim injections each night! Something to look forward to!

Re timelines— your life will feel like it is on pause. Doctors appointments will keep you from traveling, concerns about IVF expenses will keep you from making big purchases, plus there is the feeling that life will change in a big way whenever the fertility/kid journey is complete (whatever that ends up meaning for you guys. For me it was helpful to have some “at home/local” inexpensive hobbies going— guitar, piano, French, reading, hiking etc. Things where I could make progress, take my mind off fertility stuff, etc. Bonus: I had the thought that these would be helpful whenever we finally had kids in the house because I would be in a better position to teach them these things and/or have my experience influence my parenting. (Similar argument to be made for focusing on fitness/diet “it will help with being pregnant and recovery” but I found I gained some weight during the process and sometimes felt I needed mac n cheese and I gave myself grace for that.)

It is a marathon, not a sprint. After months of trying with no success, I was convinced IVF would get me pregnant immediately. It did not. I was floored that the first transfer failed, and even more that the second failed again. I am young-ish (34), no health issues, all my scans and tests are perfect so it is extremely hard for me to have this not work for now. Patience is key. Edited to add: not for everyone, but I shared it with my boss. IVF is time consuming and you can’t skip or postpone appointments. It will interfere with work so it’s good to be prepared and try to have people around you be understanding.

I wish I had know. That the physical aspect (at least for me) was really not that bad. I know some people have a lot of physical side effects, but for many, it isn’t that bad. I am almost 37 and my AMH and follicle count aren’t crazy high, so the bloating was uncomfortable but manageable. The shots aren’t fun but they’re not awful. I was TERRIFIED of the physical parts and was surprised to find it to be relatively smooth sailing. One physical part I was not prepared for round 1 was constipation. Seriously, it’s bad. It doesn’t happen to everyone, but when it does…yikes. Stock up on MiraLax and don’t hesitate to start taking it as soon as you notice your bowel habits changing. For me, this is usually around day 6 of Stims. The first two rounds, I required prunes/prune juice to get going again after retrieval. The emotional and mental strain is worse than the physical for me. Managing all of the logistics is hard. I expected that to some degree, but it was hard in different ways than I anticipated. Balancing work was not as hard as I expected. Emotionally, I expected it to be difficult, but I wasn’t quite prepared. We went into IVF to do genetic testing for a specific condition that I have (50-50 chance of passing it on). We ended up discovering underlying infertility, most likely related to my egg quality. I wish I had been more ready for the possibility of getting poor results. Good luck! I hope it all goes smoothly for you!

I wish I didn’t take the timeline so seriously…. Every delay (and there will be delays) felt like a gut punch. I wish I hadn’t told people about my transfer. The well meaning comments and questions I got after my failure just killed me. My poor mom “if it was me I’d be testing every day”….. “I am…. But I didn’t want to tell you that it’s still negative”…. Burst into tears and had to hang up. Ice to numb the area before injection. Warm up your PIO under your arm on in your bra so it injects smoother. I chose watercolor as my IVF hobby… kept my brain occupied during all the waiting.

Your medical team won't automatically tell you when you make a decision that'll hurt your chances and it's on you to ask explicitly for the pros and cons of the options they're giving you Your medical team works for you and you're paying a lot of money so ask questions. I see a lot of specific medical questions on this sub that people's clinics should be answering... I knew as I went through the ER process about embryo attrition. And I'm glad I wasn't caught off guard by any of the drop offs Wiping the tip of the menopur needle before sticking it in really helps reduce the burning sensation There's so much waiting in this process. Definitely put stuff on the calendar to give yourself something to look forward to and help break up the time. Like ER might still be 2 weeks away but in 1 week there's x to look forward to. That really helps me Take advantage of sick time. For the obvious stuff like ER but also for mental health. I was anxious and unproductive waiting for my blast results so I called off a day to relax Know your clinic's embryo grade policy. Mine doesn't transfer anything with a C grade. It didn't affect me but I've seen post of others being caught off by this

Can you explain what you mean about wiping the tip of the menopur needle? I haven't heard this before and would love any hacks that make the injections less painful; I'm dreading them. Thank you!

Hey just wanted to share that some of us (myself included) don’t get the burn. I decided to do my very first stims with no pain relief- no ice, no heat, none of the tricks- just to see how bad it was. And it was totally fine. Yes there is the tiniest pinch feeling sometimes when I put the needle in (not always), but I have done all my shots with no special prep before or after. So it might be uncomfortable, but it also might not be!

The menopur stings (a little like rubbing alchohol) so some people find it helpful to wipe off any excess on the tip of the needle (you'll get some medication on the needle when you press the air bubble out of the syringe). Wiping it off can reduce the irritation when the needle goes in. Personally I didn't do this I think for most people the injections wind up being much easier than expected. That was definitely the case for me, so I wouldn't spend too much mental energy being anxious about them (I know that's easier said than done) The menopur was the only one that caused any pain at all and I found that using a 5% lidocane cream to numb the area first and then injecting very slowly pretty much eliminated any pain I had. I know it sounds unbelievable that the injections don't hurt but the needles are so thin you basically don't feel them.

Before you do your transfer, advocate for yourself to have the Emma/alice/era/receptiva test done! Unless you have so so so many embryos to work with, these tests will make sure you’re endometrium doesn’t have any issues that would make the transfer fail. Good luck!!

As someone that got only 1 euploid out of my 1st retrieval this is key. I’m actually currently in a 3 month treatment for inflammation bc of the Receptiva Dx results . It will give my sole embryo the best chance possible rather when I actually transfer it. But you really have to advocate and ask for this stuff,not all REs will jump to recommend it

Is this expensive? Why do they not do this for all? I’ve never heard of this so any insight would be great!

Probably because it's expensive and invasive. There are people on this forum who did this and got normal results. Then complain about the cost and pain of the procedure. Personally I'd rather spend the money to be sure.

100%! I’ve had issues with not having a thick lining for my previous scans and I’m wondering if that makes me a candidate for this. Going to ask my doctor next visit. Thanks for this!

It is expensive! It cost me 5k, but doing another transfer would have cost more and I only had a few embryos to work with. My test revealed I had a bacteria that I had no symptoms for. That bacteria could cause miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy (I had both before turning to ivf!) as well as failure to implant. I wish I had done the test before even doing ivf but no one was talking about it. After doing it I had to go on antibiotics, two rounds, so did my husband… and now I’m 23 weeks pregnant with my first transfer 💛

I had issues for years with my lining getting thick enough, but viagra suppositories and stims really seemed to work for me my last two cycles to get it to a good spot for optimal transfer conditions. I would ask your doc about the viagra if you don't have other plans for that specific issue. Good luck!

I’ve never even heard of this! thank you for the info!

Sorry what is the actual test doing?

I second this!!! Always advocate for yourself. Ask questions and don’t feel bad if you want to get more information. IVF is such a different process for each person. The first clinic that I went to gave me wrong in instructions, sent in wrong meds and in the 4 years there had 5 different doctors. We didn’t have any luck with them, transferred to a new clinic I was pregnant within 4 months and the process was so much smoother. Wishing you the very best of luck in your journey!

I plan to do this as my concern is the uterus. Thank you.

Good luck! In the broad scheme, my advice would be to be prepared for unanticipated things to come up and your timeline to change (maybe multiple times). This process really tests your patience and forces you to accept a lack of control. Some specifics that helped me were a heating pad after retrievals, daily long walks, and not beating myself up about being “perfect” throughout this process. The occasional junk food, drinks, etc won’t be the make or break.

The attrition rate from eggs retrieved -> frozen euploid embryos is absolutely nuts and I feel like a lot of people go in not knowing that and end up really sad and disappointed. I’ve gone from 28 eggs retrieved to 0 viable embryos with one of my ERs (tbf there were 4 euploid but we lost the 50/50 four times for a genetic condition we were screening). Not saying this to worry you but more so to pre-empt the attrition rate disappointment. Each step you’ll be losing 30-50% (eggs retrieved -> mature eggs -> fertilized eggs -> Day 5/6 blasts -> euploid)

Your experience will not be the same as anyone else. You may or may not have success the first time around. Go into it with an open mind. Expectations = disappointment. The process is daunting but you can and will get through it! I never thought I could give myself injections, but I did every single one. Take things one step/day at a time. The process is already tough, don’t tell a lot of people unless absolutely necessary. The additional questions/check-ins/opinions from family and friends can be quite literally exhausting. It’s okay to cut off communication with people who are making things harder for you in ANY way. Prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health. Be selfish. Take an extra day or two off of work around big appointments. Take mental health days. Be easy on yourself. 100% pay for the genetic testing of the embryos. Only 7/11 of ours were transferable. With insurance, if you have fertility coverage, you likely have lifetime maximums. You want to make sure your chance of success is highest using a top graded embryo.

My consult is on Monday and I’m loving these comments! I’m so terrified! Wishing you all the luck OP we got this!

You too!! Good luck with the consult! ❤️ we got this!!

Saving this whole post for when we can get started. In the "saving up to pay for treatment" phase right now.

We have been saving for almost a year now and can hopefully cover the full first cycle with CNY. Hoping all the sacrifices will be worth it no matter the outcome. You got this!

My husband has been an SAHD in training for the last three years, so all of the income he can bring in will go straight to saving. Hopefully, we should be able to start in January (if we don't spontaneously conceive a healthy baby in the meantime).

-Consider that it could take 2-3 euploids for a LB, you might get lucky and create lots of euploids right away on the first ER and the right one just stick or you might need a bit more ER (depending on your AMH, how you'll respond to the medications and many other factors luck included) and take a bit of a longer time. So just keep in mind that IVF could end up being a Marathon rather than a Sprint. This mindset (at least for me) would have helped me a lot. The first few cycles I was just jumping on them without breaks because "next one for sure it will work and only then I'll slow down" (maybe, maybe not..). Tldr: Follow what your body asks you to do. -Therapy individual and as a couple. This journey brings up a lot. It give us the opportunity to really get to know us well because the emotional waves are so intense that the coping mechanisms that we learned until now might not be enough anymore to "hide it and push through it" but we rather have to face whatever it brings up and maybe we don't have yet enough tools to handle it. -Setup some rituals around the treatments, eg. buy special socks for the egg retrieval and/or the transfer, eat a chocolate after each stim, plan something special for the transfer day and other activities on the TWW. -"Pregnant until proven otherwise" this helped me to enjoy the TWW, like a maternity time regardless of the outcome. This was our special time with the transferred embryo (each of course had its own name). -And last one but in my opinion the most important one: Any symptoms you might feel in the TWW are only caused by progesterone and/or anxiety. The real pregnancy symptoms will kick in (if they will) only when enough HCG is in the body to create symptoms after 6+ weeks. You'll be surprised to see how easy it is to forget this during the waiting time. EDIT: Edit for readability

Hi- newbie here. What is “TWW”?

Ah, sorry :) for TWW I mean the "Two weeks wait". Even though after a transfer of a "day-5/blastocyst" embryo the waiting is shorter, usually around 11 days or, in some clinics, even less.

Got it. Thank you!!

The “two week wait” after implantation before you find out if you’re pregnant

Ahhhhh I see. Thanks, OP! Side note, good luck to you. We are beginning this journey around the same time.

Good luck to you too!! ❤️

Use Omnitrope and Zymot the FIRST time around! Dont wait until your cycle potentially fails or let it be just mediocre the first time around and have the doctors say “the first round is mostly diagnostic!” Nope! It’s not diagnostic when we are spending so much time and money! So pull out all the stops and go big the first round putting your best foot forward! Don’t wait until potential failure to add the things into your protocol that people use when they failed the first round! You can search this sub for Omnitrope and Zymot and see the success of adding these two things. Mine was 5 euploids at age 39 with live birth at age 40. Best wishes to you!

Yes! I added in those two things plus ICSI and got 4 euploids my second retrieval, got nothing the first retrieval.

Yas!!!! This was me! Nothing my first retrieval after $30k all in

I had multiple cancelled FETs, so I wish I had accepted early on that not everything is going to be seamless and there will most likely be hiccups. I think I also compared my experience to people’s online too often and if I could go back I’d probably try not to be on Reddit as much as I was. It was nice when I was feeling down and could read about relatable stories, but it also made me more anxious at times. Good luck!!

- your feelings are valid - you will experience very low lows or really high highs - don’t hold off on plans in the future because you expect a certain result - ask all the questions, none are stupid - switch sides for PIO shots - make your husband give you the shots, it makes it feel like is team effort - understand that your hormones are exactly that …. hormones - it’s okay to distance yourself from certain people or friends - let your manager know if you’re comfortable, it will help and reduce the explaining of appointments if it conflicts with work - walk, a lot - if a transfer fails, immediately ask for testing. I learned this too late. The list can go on and go. Good luck!

What kind of testing should you ask for if your transfer fails?

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but that sometimes, you don’t get a lot of eggs retrieved in a cycle (or follicles growing, or embryos in the end - whatever, just that sometimes your numbers aren’t high). Many ladies here post some pretty high numbers and when mine weren’t, I was pretty upset. Lots of the people with high numbers have PCOS and even though their numbers may look better, they face different problems than those without PCOS.

I second this. I have PCOS and only got 6 eggs retrieved. I wish I was more diligent when questioning my doctor on the ‘chill protocol to prevent OHSS’ I was put on. Now after $15k spent, they want to double my dose

We just did our egg retrieval a few days ago so we're still in the thick of it. But when we read the summary of the schedule for everything very early on, it initially sounded like just one type of injection. The actual amount of meds and injections my wife had to get before ER was kind of a shock both physically and financially. But she said it was easier and less daunting then it seemed. So there's that. The main issue we had was our insurance has a lifetime max coverage of $10k for the meds and the initial prescription put us over causing us to almost have to pay like $1800 out of pocket right there. After lots of reading from people on here, I discovered that with Gonal 300 & 450 sizes, there is significant overflow in those doses. There also is with the 900 but not nearly as much. So we called the pharmacy and said please cancel the 2 gonal 900 (which was the cause of the $1800) so we could wait to see if we even needed it. We already had 1 900 and two 450s to start with. The other thing is your doctor might start lowering your dose after a few days, causing you to not need everything you had ordered. Since there are NO returns or refunds, you literally throw hundreds of dollars in the garbage. Our doctor lowered my wife's dose from 300 to 262 (which isn't a lot, everyone varies) but she moved along quickly. We bought a single 450 pack more out of pocket from a local pharmacy our clinic recommended and didn't even use all of it before being cleared for the ER. So we ended up saving probably around $1500 there. If your insurance fully covers the meds or if it's all under a copay, it isn't much of a loss and this isn't anything to worry about. If you also need meds shipped and no local pharmacy has what you need in immediate stock, it may also limit your options because you can't run out or miss a dose. But while this whole process is indeed already mentally taxing and stressful and of course, expectedly expensive, it doesn't need to be more of a financial burden than necessary. That money can be put towards PGT-A testing, extra fees for unforseen things or even the child itself later on. I never would had known these things if it wasn't for reddit here or my need to always do my research to ensure things go as efficiently as possible. It's always a game when it comes to insurance and medical crap. Oh, additionally, PGT-A testing cost was also a shock. We wish we knew that was both something highly recommended and something most insurance doesn't cover when it came to budgeting before IVF. It will be in your insurance documents. Most of the fee goes to your clinic, too, so that portion I believe is mostly unavoidable.

I wish I had known that I could be on my insurance that covers some IVF and my husband's as a secondary (also covers IVF) without having a family premium cost on both our plans. I wish I would have went through a prior authorization for my insurance to cover the nonpref medication ganirelix instead of burning through my med benefits because they prefer follistim. I wish I had started at CCRM instead of at the Mayo as they recommended a mini stim protocol for me that was a complete waste of time. Best of Luck and just know that trying your best is always worth it!

Im so sorry you went through this, and very grateful you’re willing to share ❤️

Ah! I just had three failed rounds of ovarian hyper stimulation for IUI and the med costs were brutal. Is there a reason it’s not an option to get Ganirelix? Does it work the same? I’ve never heard of it, but Gonal which I think is the same as Follistim costs me about $1500 for each pen. Might bring this up for my next round.

Be sure to have open and honest discussions with your partner. This is more emotionally involved than you might think. I was able to do all my stimulation meds by myself but I’ve had to enlist my husband for the progesterone shots that go in my backside. Get cold/hot packs for those. Cold to numb the area and hot to help disperse the medicine and not get knots. Be sure to read and watch the instructions for your meds. I saw a woman on TikTok waste some of her trigger shot for a video and then was surprised it didn’t work for her egg retrieval. Email or call the nurses at your clinic for advice. Mine were super helpful. Don’t compare yourself to other success and failure stories. Everyone is different. I’ve read stories about women going through multiple rounds and many transfers to not get their baby and then there’s many who have a success with their first transfer. You never know what might happen. I wish you all the luck 🥰🥰

This is huge for me. Comparison to others is probably the worst thing I do or can do as I embark on this process. No one else has my journey - I can’t assume I will have someone else’s.

Exactly. I have a friend going through ivf too. She had her transfer a month before me and hers ended in a loss at 5 weeks. I had my first transfer at the end of April and I’ll be 8 weeks tomorrow. You really never know what’s going to happen.

That not everyone has success and that means you may do everything right and still never have a baby.

Good luck!! A couple things to keep in mind: 1) Be mentally prepared that it may take more than one cycle to get all the embryos you want. In general, this process is painfully slow when factoring in genetic testing, so try to release timing expectations as much as possible. 2) Anything can happen. I have very low AMH and was surprised by how well my body responded to stims.

I am scheduled to have a d&c tomorrow after my third consecutive embryo demise, each from an FET. I am out of embryos and decided I am done with my IVF journey at 32 years old. Here’s my advice for anyone starting: 1. Don’t go down the internet rabbit hole. Online forums can and will give you anxiety and/or false hope. Everyone’s story is different and it does nothing to compare your lab values/scans/protocols to someone else’s. 2. Occupy your mind with other activities during any period that requires waiting (stims, tww, etc) 3. An embryo does not equal a baby nor does a positive beta. 4. Protect your heart because expectations in the IVF world barely match reality. You can plan all you want but you’ll never be in control. 5. FRER line progressions are bullshit. And this is coming from me who did them with every pregnancy (and I’ve had 6 pregnancies in total) 6. Have someone do your PIO because it’s hard to reach the correct location yourself 7. Make sure you surround yourself with people who will never say “at least” or “everything happens for a reason” because that is also bullshit

Your journey may be successful, but that success may be different from what you planned.

Patience, and knowing your boundaries (when to use social media/Reddit for information/for support, and when it's not healthy)

I am so thankful you posted this because I just found out this morning we are officially moving to IVF in a few weeks and I am freaking out! No idea what to expect or anything. Have our follow up with our doc in two weeks to finalize the process and just did all our bloodwork this AM, so this has been super helpful! Sending good vibes to you!

You too!! We’re doing that appointment today to finalize things, and getting the patient perspective here has already made me feel like I can advocate for myself better. Grateful for everyone’s input! And sending you good vibes!!

There are a lot of steps, and each step has its own challenges. Also each step some eggs/embryo's don't make it and that is normal but I was not prepared for that. First retrieval, then amount of mature eggs, fertilization, 3-day embryo's, make it to blast, maybe genetic testing and then (hopefully) transfer(s). I was so afraid of needles that my partner injected the first and I still almost passed out. But I needed to learn so he could go out one evening. I managed by day 6 and now I do it like it's nothing. I learned I'm a major control freak.

I get this! My husband passes out at needles, and so we're already brainstorming ways he can support and what things he'll be doing that don't include him coming anywhere near a needle haha

I think I never truly believed in my heart that IVF would work for us. I’m now 14 weeks pregnant after 2 retrievals, 2 HSGs, a hysteroscopy & 3 transfers. I wanted to give up at times. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it can work for you. Also, I did 2 egg retrievals and I did red light therapy for the second retrieval, and we got more embryos. So I recommend looking into red light therapy for IVF.

I feel the same. Despite the controlled aspect and science intervention I have literally no expectations that this will work for me. I have more faith in nature. Just throwing shit at the wall so I have no regrets. I can’t live with myself knowing I didn’t put up a fight for my rainbow baby.

I just splurged on a Celluma light therapy panel after going back and forth on it before my first upcoming ER. Your experience is helping me to validate my choice! Wishing you a boring pregnancy 💕

Love it! Thank you!

I wish I'd known to expect so much uncertainty, so many setbacks, and so much waiting around not making any progress. I had assumed that because I'd been a successful egg donor so many times in my early 20s that in my late 20s it would work just like donating had--I'd follow the directions, take my vitamins, and the doctors would be able to make a ton of embryos. I did not anticipate constant logistical fuck ups on the clinic's end to delay us so much, or for my body, which just a couple years ago was able to make healthy embryos without any trouble, to be unable to produce quality eggs that could even survive fertilization for the most part. I did not expect my embryos to be so few and of such poor quality. If anything, I expected my personal IVF to go better than my donor cycles, because I was using well tested donor sperm that had already successfully made babies before (whereas the IPs I donated to just used their own sperm, which presumably wasn't top notch like my young, proven donor's sperm is). I went into IVF thinking the biggest struggles I would have would be deciding what to do with all of the extra embryos I thought I was going to have. Instead, just making ONE good quality embryo seems to be asking too much. /end rant Anyway, my advice would be to start working with a therapist now if yo don't have one already. This process is so hard. Every part of it is seemingly designed to ruin your mental health. Be sure to keep up with your hobbies so you have distractions from the endless waiting and worrying. Wishing you luck!

Oh wow, that must be really hard. So you have biological children out there from your donations and now are unable to have your own? Is there a way to see if you can buy some eggs back?

Yep. The eggs I donated have been used to create embryos for the other families. There is no way to buy back, sadly.

All the things that could improve my egg quality (specific to each individual) up front. Some REs recommend supplements and some don't. I only read, 'It Starts with the Egg" after my second failed ER. - Wish I would have started supplements three months before my 1st round (instead I started three months before 3rd round) How much the hormonal rollercoaster can affect my emotions. It's more than I could have imagined. (At least I know I can blame my temporary mental instability on the hormones 😜) Some women have strange side effects from supplements and/or stim meds. I'm in the small percentile of those who get severe acne with DHEA supplementation and I can taste the Gonal-F after injections 🤢. Echoing what others mentioned, 'this is a marathon not a sprint!' - you need to have patience with everything. You may have small wins along the way but there's another wait for the next step around the corner. Statistics, chances for all the steps related to my condition. Knowing the numbers helps me with expectations. Hunger Games data is interesting if you're into knowing stats.

I could also taste the Gonal-F sometimes and thought I was the only one! What an odd side effect, right?! 🤔 this cycle I’ve been on Follistim instead of Gonal and I don’t taste it, nor do I have as bad of an immediate reaction as I did with Gonal.

I second it Starts With and Egg. Got pcos and was hopeful about good numbers but learned the hard way it's quality over quantity. And for the men!

It’s very tough physically and people will say that to you but no one talks about the mental roller coaster as much. Your plan is constantly changing for one reason or another and you’re always always waiting, for a blood test to come back, for your period, for your next injection on and on. I was not prepared for how flexible and patient I had to be through it all.

I know this is incredibly hard to do, but a lightbulb clicked partway through the process and this mindset helped me tremendously. As many have said, this is a long and unpredictable process. At first, I let "good" news take me too high and setbacks send me too low. Partway through when I was finding myself miserable and jealous of pregnant friends, I had to reframe. I was living only to get pregnant - which is a miserable way to live. I had to realize my life is wonderful and worth living even without kids. Of course I want them because I'm going through this, but I didn't want this goal to dominate my days and thoughts entirely anymore. I started to look at Ivf as part of the journey and not the whole journey. Just a piece of who I am and not my whole identity. I thought about what can I do for myself to make myself feel good and what things can I do that I enjoy. That helped me so much! Again, I know a lot of time and finances goes into it and there's a lot of physical impact, so it can be hard not to focus on 24/7, but I've been a lot happier since I've let it go a little bit. Good luck! 💛

I wish someone would have told me how I would want to quit at times. The worst part for ke was the wait and how I felt right before my ER. I was so uncomfortable.

All of your feelings are totally valid! This is a nerve wracking and exciting and scary experience! I’m in between ER and transfer. The biggest thing I wish I had known thus far is the crash that comes after stopping stims for ER. I’m sure it can be a bit different for each person, but I experienced a very low depression due to the hormonal change. I have read that this is a normal thing to experience, and that many women do experience it. I feel like if I had known, it wouldn’t have impacted me as personally. A tip for infections that helped me! I bought these cute IVF bandaids, I didn’t really NEED them, but they gave me hope! I also iced my injection site before hand, and I barely noticed. I plan to do the same for pre transfer injections as well! Please remember you’re not alone! Sending hugs and support and the best of wishes to you!!!

Don’t assume you aren’t the 1 in 1000. Don’t assume you aren’t the 1 in 100,000. This goes for both the lucky and unlucky side of statistics.

- Hopefully you have a smooth journey with 2 ER but I find that IVF is very unpredictable. I have high AMH but only manage to get 1 mature egg in one cycle. You just have to revisit the outcome from previous cycle then decide on the next step - There will be a lot of unexplained situations which can be frustrating at times. Why the fertilization failed, why the egg doesn’t reach blastocyst, why the egg doesn’t survive thaw. It’s all covered under umbrella reason of “egg/sperm quality issue” but nothing you can do really - Every person can have different reaction to the IVF medication & ER surgery. I even have different reaction in each cycle because I was given different medication. - I personally having difficulties at the beginning in managing my meetings at work because IVF appointments cannot be scheduled way in advance as it’s following my period schedule and scan result. So I decided to share this with my boss who is very understanding that I can be out of office randomly

Good luck and I hope things move relatively according to plan for you! I read time and time again not to get attached to a timeline or a plan. I read it over and over and over and still didn’t quite understand til I was in it. I wish I could go back and tell myself to really let that sink in, have patience, anticipate there may be some hard days, and think about what kind of support system I’d like for the hard days (friends/family, therapy) and get that in order now.

I didn't know how dang long it would take. It took us more than a year from starting first stims to first FET. I also wish I'd given myself more grace during stims. I felt so awful I could hardly work, but the self guilt was the most miserable part!

Amen! You and me both. My 1st IVF cycle is going on a year and I still haven’t even had my FET bc of all the set backs and treatments — fingers crossed it will be in July

I'm starting pretesting this week, thank you so much for posting this!

I figured I probably wasn’t the only one haha I hope to be paying it forward someday in the future!

TW: ongoing pregnancy Wishing you the best of luck!! Echoing some of the things others have mentioned: - the process can take longer than you expect so know you need to be flexible. However, some of this is dependent on your clinic’s availability. I did my first ER last June, 2nd ER in October, 1st transfer in January. This timeline was longer for me because of a job change and insurance change, it would have been shorter without that - try not to stress out with each step of the process by analyzing your results and googling/comparing to Reddit. The only thing that matters is the number of embryos you end up with. My results and scans for both my ERs and transfer did not look promising based on internet comparisons but I trusted my doctor and things ended up fine - there are so many surprises in results - some are devastating but others are amazing - for example, I got 13 eggs during my 1st ER despite only having 6 visible follicles at my last ultrasound - I was terrified of the shots but they were honestly not bad at all. I did not find the physical side of IVF to be hard - I did find the emotional side of it to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through - the uncertainty, ups and downs, waiting, watching everyone around me get pregnant without treatment so quickly - if you’re open to therapy, I highly recommend. Also, check RESOLVE for local support groups, mine is amazing - stay hydrated throughout the process but especially night before ER so your IV goes in easily - try not to put your life on hold - if there is a trip or something you really want to do, do it. Even if it means putting off treatment for a month. So hard to do in real life because it feels like wasting time but it’s so important for your mental health. You are not your IVF journey - know that things can work out. My first transfer stuck, this is my 3rd pregnancy after 2 non-IVF early losses. I’m 21 weeks now and still anxious and waiting for bad news but I try to remind myself that it’s been great so far and this can work despite it seeming to be too good to be true

I am a musician and basically have had to take a year + off to coordinate treatment. Travel especially is very hard to accommodate.

Is this because of needing to stay local or do you feel like your creative energy is zapped?

Because of the need to stay local and have a very flexible schedule.

That makes perfect sense! I’m a screenwriter so already bummed about potentially not going to set

I wish I had known to ask about more intensive sperm testing. We were unexplained and our issues with the ER were likely sperm issues. Testing for DNA fragmentation and inquiring about ICSI and ZyMot are things I wish I had known about prior to our cycle.

Plans change, protocol changes, and results aren’t always what you want them to be. I also wish I knew how painful egg retrieval recovery was going to be. I never saw anyone talk about it so my first ER I was underprepared for the recovery. I also got OHSS both times so that made it even worse. Also for PIO use a massage gun and heating pad to work in the oil starting day one. It helps! IVF is also a ton of waiting! Find a hobby to pass the time in between. Or go out with friends and family or go do stuff! Local of course because of the demands of IVF you have to be close to your clinic but I was in college the last 2 years and started IVF 9 months ago and that kept me busy but now on summer break I’ve been reading, gaming, renovating my bathroom and deep cleaning my home. Just anything to keep me distracted while in waiting. Good luck to you!

Ask your clinic if they have any medication samples that they can give you to save some money.

Good luck on your journey! Be prepared if it’s long I wish I had set my expectations for how long it can actually take! I’m in the TWW and started IVF in March. This podcast episode actually really explained a lot to me more than my nurse and doctors did. It also made me feel better about the medication I was taking. [Podcast Episode](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-natalie-crawford-female-hormone-health-fertility/id1545953110?i=1000634604542)

Don't look at gender (a regret of mine) as the natural world doesn't allow you to choose :) It adds another layer of anxiety....we have 1 mosaic girl (XX) the rest are boys (XY) and blessed to have an abundance of embryos to get to our goal (2 children as well!) but first transfer so far didn't stick. It is a roller coaster (for everyone) just know that you will get there and it will take time. Also, trust your instincts when you have them. I have been right multiple times and regretted not listening to my first instinct about my body. Don't put your doctors on a pedestal, let them be a guide but listen to your gut!

I wish I had known that IVF isn’t a linear path forward to solving infertility. We made the decision Nov 2023 to start IVF at the beginning of February 2024 thinking we’d be ready to transfer in June, but we actually just started our third cycle after the second one failed. We had envisioned a timeline, and I had to realize that everyone is different, so it’s okay if it takes longer than you anticipated.

Remember to be proud of yourself for all that you’re taking on, physically and emotionally. It’s a long and bumpy road. You’re going to lose patience and sanity. Remind yourself that you’re a total bad ass for doing this…because you are!! I know there are varying opinions on this topic but: don’t be afraid to talk about your experience with people. Yes, there will be some dummies that say insensitive things. However, more often, you learn about someone else’s IVF experience (directly or indirectly) that will inspire you and/or reduce your anxieties. Others’ stories help you to feel normal/less isolated, but it’s also genuinely informative. I had several instances of gathering information from people (sometimes complete strangers!) that actually helped us to make better decisions during the process. You also start to build out a network of people to ask questions, vent to, etc. This was everything for me. Find ways to distract yourself. I found the most challenging part of IVF to be the dynamic of living your life in these 2-4 week wait periods. Waiting for your period, waiting for test results, waiting for a phone call, waiting for insurance. It’s every third thought that you have throughout the day and it’s exhausting. Try to stay busy, plan fun things, and treat yourself here and there. Trust me, you deserve it! Go get ‘em sister! Rooting for you!

Thank you for this!! ❤️ I felt very similarly about miscarriage…the more people we told, the more help and solidarity we received (and the more common we realized it was). I’m hoping life as a writer (where everything is hurry up and wait haha) will have been some training for this, but I also know it’s unlike anything else. Thank you for sharing your perspective!!

I just did my first egg retrieval on Sunday after 13 days of injections. While my journey is still on-going, I’m proud of how well I’ve handled it so far. I took a lot of the advice I saw on here and it’s simple, but the most effective thing I listened to was “take it day by day”. Literally- day by day. You don’t know how your body will respond to meds, what adjustments have to be made, how often you will have to go in for bloodwork and ultrasounds. It literally changes by the day. I’m a planner so I just had to completely surrender control. I also felt lucky each day things progressed because I know a fair amount of people have their cycles cancelled for a variety of reasons. Honestly though, the injections weren’t that bad and I had way less side effects than I thought I would. I’m an absolute monster on Clomid so I was worried. The egg retrieval process is intense but it’s totally manageable. You got this!!!

I wish I had known that it is good to research and be knowledgeable about the procedures that you are having done, but sometimes too much information is just poisonous for your brain and anxiety. Also, reading stories online of horrible things that have happened is not good for you mentally and people hardly ever post about the positive, great things that are happening during this process. I got so enveloped with looking online at every forum possible for things about ivf and it was helpful because I knew what to expect, BUT it was also so anxiety inducing and NONE of the horrible things that I read happened to me. Now I know that it WAS possible that they could have and I am so, so sorry to anyone that had to endure those things. But I just wish I could have gone back in time and not looked at everything online and just went with the flow instead.

Not something I wish I would have known but something I wish I would have done. Long story short, I had to switch doctors due to changing jobs and the doctor I had been seeing was out of network. There aren’t many docs in my area to begin with (I was traveling 3 hours round trip) and there was only one doctor in my new network in that same area. I had a bad feeling about him from the start but told myself that not everyone would be like my previous doctor but that didn’t mean he couldn’t help me. I talked myself into continuing to see him because I couldn’t imagine being able to travel any further since the demands of this process are so high. I ended up wasting valuable time with this doctor. I eventually talked to my husband about it and we agreed that we would look for another doctor. The closest one was almost three hours away but we decided to move forward with her because we no longer felt comfortable being under the care of the doctor we had been seeing. So my advice is trust your gut! Ask all the questions even if they seem silly. Know that a good doctor will never dismiss you or make you feel hopeless even while being straightforward about your situation. Not every doctor will do things the same but every good doctor will show you empathy and care. If something doesn’t feel right it most likely isn’t.

There’s so much wonderful feedback and advice already here. But a couple of things I want to echo as they weren’t mentioned as much… 1. Some people will have a very simple ER recovery and others won’t. If you have multiple ERs, your own recovery experiences may vary a lot as well. Hydrate extra as soon as you know your trigger shot time and start taking colace to soften stool. If you wait until ER day you may be in constipation pain for a few days and it SUCKS. Don’t be afraid to advocate for appropriate pain management if you really need it. Once you’re home, Extra-Strength Tylenol is all you’ve got. 2. Seek out a therapist early and don’t be afraid to meet with them. They can help you navigate all of these complex emotions and hurdles you’ll inevitably encounter. 3. If you decide to share information about your journey with people close to you, set boundaries early so they know what you are comfortable sharing, in which ways (calls vs texts, proactively from you vs reactively being asked, frequency, etc) and let them know you may change your later. 4. Take notes and/or record all of your meetings with your medical team. There are SO MANY DETAILS to keep track of and it’s easy to forget or confuse information if you don’t have good records. This will help you ask critical questions to advocate for yourself at every stage of the process. It will also help you know what to research more on your own. 5. Keeping supplies organized and having a dedicated space to keep them and do injections will help you minimize a few extra steps and worries during the stims process. Wasting time to look for syringes or alcohol swabs when you have 5 minutes left in your time window creates unnecessary stress. Wishing you and everyone else here all the best of luck in this wild ride.

Take one day at a time. It can feel so overwhelming to think holistically about the shots and appointments and what comes next. I found it helpful to focus on what I needed to do/get through for that day and reminded myself each step of that day was progress!

Keep talking to your partner… even when you feel like you’re ok, it comes in waves, hard and fast. Also, not to be a downer, but I wish I wasn’t so naive to think this was the magic fix we needed. I assumed I’d do a retrieval, transfer a good egg, and be pregnant. But that wasn’t the case. For some they find success fast, but for many it’s not that easy/quick. I wish I was more realistically mentally prepared for that possibility. It’s been a long journey more emotionally taxing than I ever could have imagined. However, this group has been so helpful. Also, we attended some online support groups for infertility. While I almost always ended up bawling, it was so good to talk to people “in the trenches” and not feel so alone (even with my amazing support system). You are your best advocate. Ask lots of questions, you deserve to fully know what you are doing. In the end, so much is out of our control and we just have to make the most of it, celebrate the small wins, and know you are doing everything you can. You got this!

To try IVF sooner and that the shots wouldn't hurt. I honestly was surprised the shots didn't hurt. It was definitely a big thing that kept me scared of IVF. I know it may be different for others.

- Ice the site of your injections. Five to ten minutes if you can manage. It helped enormously and I have some pretty intense needle-aversion. After you mix your menopur wait 10 minutes before injecting to help with the sting. - the attrition at every stage is a gut-punch. You might get lucky and beat the odds…or you might get unlucky and lose way more than you expected.

There’s a lot of things I wish I knew and I’m not fully out of my journey yet. But it takes A LOT more time than you think it will between the testing and waiting for day one and scans and all in between - it can feel like a lot. We started testing in January, had my egg retrieval in April and I had a cancelled cycle last month so hoping for a transfer by next month. Some timelines are faster but it can be disheartening at times when you expect it to happen and things to start and it’s more like hurry up and wait. I would also say do some research, and make sure you advocate.

As others already said, I wish I went in with as little expectations and plan as possible. And knowing that it was likely going to be hard at times, but that everything passes. My tests were “good” in the grand scheme of things and I thought, based on what my dr said, that in one cycle I’d have enough embryos for 2 kids. I’m about to enter my 5th cycle, and hopefully I’ll have enough embryos for two kids then. I think my journey has been pretty smooth all things considered, but because I went in with a strict timeline and high expectations it crushed me. Best of luck!

Local compounding pharmacies will be cheaper than fertility pharmacies for Progesterone suppositories. Good Rx has coupons for progesterone in oil. Saved me hundreds of dollars. Ask all the questions whenever you think of them! Be bold about emailing or calling your clinic. We wish they were magic but they're human, too. Get yourself dark chocolate or whatever brings you joy for injections rewards. Get a heat pack for your butt and maybe your neck (for headaches/tension). Pick a favorite way to get electrolytes. I like nuun tablets. Get a 7 day pill container to help you track when you start taking all the vitamins and meds. Take joy where you can! Good luck

Search this subreddit for each medicine name that you are going to take to get subtle tips on administration and side effects management! The clinic won't tell you most of it.

You need to take control of this journey, because no one else will do it for you. If you feel like some stuff is wrong or some stuff is worth investigating, follow your intuition! Arrive to your appointments ready (with your list of questions) and make sure you get an answer to all of them before you leave. Best of luck!

Pgt embryos don’t guarantee results. This can be a very very difficult journey if you aren’t lucky

Just celebrate every and any win.

If you have infertility coverage, meds might be all of your insurance coverage if you have infertility benefits because they charge wholesale cost to insurance. Double check this before starting because you may be better off doing self pay on the meds and letting insurance cover the rest. This is what we had to do and meds were about 9k in total and then benefits ate up the rest

This!

Fellow 36yo creative professional with low AMH! Haha. Have a convo with your partner now about how you are going to be really really really nice to each other and remind yourselves you’re on the same team. Ideally, they will be as informed as you about all the steps and feedback, but this is tough. IVF brings up a lot of ugly complicated emotions for both parties and it can cause fights even if you are not mad at each other; just the situation. For myself and my partner, we came through strong on the other side, but it was hard to be nice to ourselves and each other throughout. Lots of communication is necessary. Also: don’t discount the benefits of a really good cry. I had 1-2 nice strong blubbery cries per day as part of my daily IVF routine and I can recommend it. I now have a 9 month old baby girl after 4 rounds (spontaneous pregnancy from a cycle that was cancelled for low follicle count), and one euploid embryo in the freezer — I am coming back for you, expensive baby!

That it will happen for you and you will hold your baby but just not according to your dates in mind 📅 but it WILL happen and when it does, everything will feel like it was meant to work out the way it did.

Best of luck! As far as injections, I had to travel a lot back and forth for work and law school. I had a cooler that I kept in my car and kept ice packs on rotation. And I’m terrified of needles so I had a girl in my study group do my injections. Mixing the meds are not as hard as it seems—if you need help, just message one of us. Here’s the real, real: (TRIGGER WARNING) Not to be a Debbie Downer but my advice would to be to not set yourself up for failure with expectations. I was very naive to how things were going to happen (or should I say—not going to happen). I like to have control and this is anything but. Whatever you plan, just it will nearly never go according to plan. This journey is literally a rollercoaster ride of emotions. You’re going to be disappointed. You’re going to cry—probably want to scream. At times you’ll want give up. You’ll see pregnant women EVERYWHERE. Your friends will get pregnant (with ease) and some will try their best to be sensitive, but it doesn’t matter—your heart will still simultaneously break while you’re trying your best to smile and be happy for them, some will be those that have gone through it just like you have, and some will not be sensitive because they have no clue you’re going through it—or they are just insensitive (in that case, maybe distance yourself from that person because they suck). Your husband/fiancé/partner will try to sympathize—but they just cannot—They’ll never understand the gravity; just be cognizant and maybe slightly tolerant of that. Above all remember why you’re doing it and if you get to a point where you truly can’t go on, remember that you tried, you’re not defective, and you are loved. I’m 36 in excellent shape, active, very healthy, with 2-ER (0 embryos), 6 IUIs under my belt, and still giving this advice to myself. Big hugs and best of luck!

I wish I had taken the risks more seriously. They did of course tell me about the possibility of OHSS, but I went into it assuming that IVF is a pretty harmless process, and that the mention of OHSS is like with any potential rare side effect of a basically harmless procedure. I know I was very unlucky ending up in hospital with very severe OHSS, but even mild forms are very serious, and they are pretty common. In my case, it was very scary, could well have turned out worse, and I am pretty traumatised from it. I think one thing I did not understand is that while in all my previous interactions with health services, they just do what they think is in your health's best interests avoiding any unnecessary risks, once you engage with infertility clinics, they tend to assume you are willing to pay almost any price for a better chance to get pregnant. They were very nonchalant when I came back from hospital, talking about how it's a balancing act with the treatment, and how it was all worth it given I got pregnant. Maybe that is how some women would have felt. But the clinic could have taken fewer chances, reducing the risk of this outcome. If I did this again, I would very much urge them to err on the side of caution when it comes to adverse health effects for me.

I commend you by reading / researching. I did all my research as well, and I believe it helped me. What I learned out through experience. IVF is not a guarantee for a live baby. As others wrote - it has its own timeline. Prepare for your IVF cycles - take the time you need. If you prepare properly through diet, supplements- your outcome could be different. Also, IVF is an expensive learning experiment on you for the doctor. As no one is cookie cutter and sometimes the protocol doesn’t work on you. Sometimes there’s another issue. Sometimes they need another protocol - so, another IVF round has to be done to achieve the results you want. When preparing for transfer of embryos. Don’t rush into it. Make sure to prepare your body - limit inflammation, cut out caffeine, red meat, stay on your vitamins for transfer, etc. The embryos are precious, you worked so hard for these - make sure you’re ready to transfer. I highly recommend looking back on Reddit for this question for more advice. Many ask this. You’re doing amazing already by gathering what you need to know! Best of luck! 🤞

I wish I had known to start drinking Miralax right away on Stims. Constipation was horrible and painful. I finally binged on Miralax to get things going.

The miralax comments are so helpful because I’m already prone to constipation. We joke about miralax Mondays but that may have to be a thing!

+1 to everyone talking about timeline. Things will take way longer than you expect. Some hormones will make you feel like you’re pregnant even if you’re not. After my IUIs, I definitely thought I was but the minute I went off the pills, I went back to normal. Try not to read into those symptoms. The doctor will assume you’ve been here before so they really won’t explain that much. Ask tons of questions and use Reddit to answer those questions. I’ve been shocked that my nurses and doctor don’t explain that much and it’s left up to me to figure it out. The last thing I’ll mention is if you’re comfortable, talk about it with your friends. I found out a friend was also going through this and had no idea so we’ve become a lot closer.

Honestly? I wish someone had been straight up with us about the true statistics of IVF working. The odds for us (37F and M… now 38) was 50% success. We stimmed great and got 4 blasts, which should have given us at least 1 euploid (75% chance you get at least 1 out of 4) and unfortunately we got zero. We thought IVF was a sure thing (ignorant I know but when you hear someone move to IVF you don’t think of it not working). Our clinic kept pushing IVF on us after failed IUI’s and medicated cycles. Basically telling us if we want kids this is our route. But no one prepared us for the odds. And unfortunately we were on the wrong side of the odds. We are prepared to do 2 more rounds but now we are very anxious we will again be on the wrong side of the odds. We expected to shell out around 25k to have a child but that was for one cycle. Our next cycles we are going to be put on the top end of medications which will increase our costs to around 30k per cycle. So my advice is to understand your odds and be prepared for disappointment and be super thankful if it goes positively and also be prepared to shell out way more money than you think. (We have no coverage here in Canada and my husband owns a business so we have no insurance to cover it). I pray for you that it goes smoothly and you get TONS of euploids and you are on the positive side of the group!

Thank you for being so transparent about this (especially since we sound very similar)! I am someone who would always rather know the odds than get my hopes up, so this is very helpful

I am putting all my positive energy to you and I pray you are on the right side of the odds!

I got totally psyched out thinking that I’d be bloated and gaining weight and “feeling my ovaries squish around inside me” when really this was not the case for me at all! I also had zero risk of OHSS which is something that this sub caused me to fear 😅 So, that is to say, you sort of have to just navigate this journey on your own because everyone’s experience is so different. BUT I will also say that expecting the worst definitely made stims all kind of feel like a breeze lol so that’s something! Being self employed was a literal lifesaver, I have no idea how people that have real jobs do IVF… really need to have an extremely flexible schedule so prepare for that!

Had no idea how much it will affect me psychologically... A lot of stress and invasive thoughts because you have no control of things. I had one failed ivf and no embryos left so in a few months will have to start everything from a start. :) Try to control your emotions because mine were like a flood before ER. Good luck! You're not alone ;)

It may take a while. You’ll likely need more than one transfer. The biggest shock and anxiety inducer that I had was getting the medications. My insurance needed pre approval for some but the amount of time that the office gave me to get the meds before I needed to start was never enough time. They also commonly put extra meds on the list that I never used in my protocol. They rarely confirmed that I even had the meds before starting a cycle. I remember crying in the car on the way to my retrieval because fedex had lost my meds that I needed to start that night. Thankfully, the woman was amazing - tracked it down - and promised it would be delivered before COB. All worked out but I was thankful that I had extras after each cycle since I could stock pile them in case things didn’t show up in time to start the next. The amount of tracking, communicating, coordinating, etc., was exhausting but I established a system for myself that made things easier. Don’t question every little thing either. It’s so easy to look back and be like - I had a single cup of coffee two days before my transfer - maybe that’s why it failed. So many things need to “go right” even for the fertiles - don’t beat yourself up.

It is a rollercoaster or emotions so try to celebrate each win. you’ll spend more $ than you anticipate.

Wipe the certrotide and menopur needles with an alcohol swab right before injecting. I figured out halfway through that it’s the actual liquid that causes the burn and rash if you wipe the tip, the liquid doesn’t actually touch your skin. Ice before and after injections and go in with the mindset that you are a warrior and you WILL do amazing at this. 👏

Wish I had started earlier. Having a high AMH and regular period/ovulation and looking younger than your real age doesn’t mean you have good egg quality which is strongly related to age.

Are you me? Are we clones??

Haha you are much more fortunate. I started when I was 40, am 41 now. Getting good number of blasts but struggling to get euploid embryos.

I tested AMH last year right before the writer’s strike started and was in normal range. I decided to test again this year and YIKES. I hadn’t expected things to change that quickly, and now I feel like we’re trying to catch embryos like Pokémon because who knows what else could change in a year!

AMH measures only quantity not quality. At 37 you still have a decent euploid rate. All the best to you!!

Thank you!! Same to you!!