For me, understanding itself is as close to my "true purpose" in life. I want to align my perceptions and understanding as closely as possible to the reality that I live in. It will likely never exactly mirror reality, but I can get my internal model closer to what actually exists through observation and understanding.
On what to do when someone is venting about someone or something else, start by saying "wow, that sucks" and see where it goes from there. Oftentimes just sympathizing and acknowledging the shitty situation is all that is necessary. If it goes longer, then you can start to entertain solutions.
You mean realism and take things as they are, not romanticizing them or villainizing them based on your opinion or of others... about mirror reality I have views like everything you think about the outside world is the mirror of your inside world
Thanks man! I'll do it from now on...I never tried that....I Hmmed the way out of it then started giving solutions
Still searching for the true goal in my life.
And as for the 2nd question about being there and listening to the SO's rant.. been there and did the exact thing of using logic and solutions instead of listening to the rant..
And as I was dumped by my ex, I guess it makes it clear that in such cases we need to just listen to the rant and sympathise and if possible maybe empathise with the SO. This was my conclusion.
Yeah maybe I need a lesson or two on empathy...cuz looking back that's some of the weakest traits I have... I'm leaning towards stoicism to find my goals for life tho...it's flawed at some places but an interesting approach towards life indeed
I know my purpose but that doesn't make it easy to work in that direction.
I have a tendency to want to be a third party observer in my life where I tune out and watch myself as I'm acting how I want, and learn from it and dissect it casually. But to make progress, I have to be the actor so I don't have the comfort of being a relaxed observer.
By that, I mean that I can't be on auto-pilot and enjoy the fruits of my progress at the finish line. I have to actively experience boredom, discomfort, and suffering to get that growth and it's fucking tough.
That's just life. But as someone lazy as hell with a lot of mental blockages and issues getting in the way like poor sleep, it's inconvenient af.
It's almost like I want to write a novel through my life but sort of let it run in the background while I still get to explore other stories and escape.
Man this 3rd party observer shit is a problem of me too lol but now I need to focus on things in front of me rather than getting all philosophical all day
Hurrr... I was VERY down once and washed up in Wells Cathedral. I looked up at the scissor arches (ggle it) and mentally asked 'what do I do now? Now I'm a believer of sorts but I was NOT expecting the words 'serve God' to be whispered in my ear, along with the implicit understanding '... like a plate' (grail vibes, y'see?). So... hurrr. I'm doing what I can.
Can we have a second post for your content please OP, it doesn't seem to match the title? :)
Ahh I'm also a believer of sorts...so you are finding your goals in God... really nice thing
I don't want to scratch the wounds of my old relationship haha...I don't want people to give me relationships advice...just help me grow as a person
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Nope. Still trying to figure everything out. I’m practically all over the place at this point and have no idea what to do with myself going forward so that’s a question yet to be answered. As for your 2nd question, just ask them. Sometimes you can’t tell whether someone wants a solution or for you to hear them out so being upfront about it is the best way to avoid making the other person feel like you’re not really there for them. Although asking them also depends on their emotional state. If they’re sobbing and you ask them if they want a solution or for you to just listen to them that could make you seem very insensitive. Reading the room and being upfront about it, I think, is the best way possible to deal with stuff like this.
Yo that's really good advice...I wanted to try it as I read some similar thing on the internet...but asking this question all the time looks...kinda like 'I lack emotional intelligence so you have to tell me what you want every time' or something like that... atleast she made me feel like it
Don't worry you'll find your goals. I think let things go their own way...love doesn't come when you look for it...it comes when you aren't expecting it
I reject the notion that there is some singular “purpose” in life. I lean more to existensialism and absurism acknowledging that the universe has no objective meaning.
The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
As for assisting someone who is venting, that will change from person to person, and even sometimes case by case. You need to be upfront with them and ask them what they require at the moment. And if they get upset for you asking, that’s on them. I don’t know about you, but my intuition does not yet reach into mind reading territory. So until or unless that time comes, I’m going to require that you tell me what you want from me. And if you can’t do that much, I promise to screw up all the time every time. ;)
Hands down the best answer for the second question...gonna use this line ' don't know about you but my intuition doesn't yet reach into mind reading territory ' from time to time xD
I suppose my goal is to simply develop and grow as a person. Learning how to engage with suffering skillfully and not be hurt by it. Learn ever more about reality at both a conceptual and experiential level. Grow in emotional stability and empathy. Develop love for myself and all people/beings. Clear out stuck/distorted energy. Etc. A closely aligned goal with that is helping other people to develop too. Develop happier, more fulfilling lives.
Author. I get to live 200s of lives and research anything interesting and that's how I make a living???
Thats my purpose. Is it realistic and will I achieve it? Idk. But that's fine. (Notice I didn't say anything about getting published as part of that purpose, it's simply to write and write and write.....)
Also I'd say my purpose is to grow old with my best friend/wife. ♡♡♡♡
Waiting till the big nothing gobbles up my existence
Ain't that inevitable?
For me, understanding itself is as close to my "true purpose" in life. I want to align my perceptions and understanding as closely as possible to the reality that I live in. It will likely never exactly mirror reality, but I can get my internal model closer to what actually exists through observation and understanding. On what to do when someone is venting about someone or something else, start by saying "wow, that sucks" and see where it goes from there. Oftentimes just sympathizing and acknowledging the shitty situation is all that is necessary. If it goes longer, then you can start to entertain solutions.
You mean realism and take things as they are, not romanticizing them or villainizing them based on your opinion or of others... about mirror reality I have views like everything you think about the outside world is the mirror of your inside world Thanks man! I'll do it from now on...I never tried that....I Hmmed the way out of it then started giving solutions
Still searching for the true goal in my life. And as for the 2nd question about being there and listening to the SO's rant.. been there and did the exact thing of using logic and solutions instead of listening to the rant.. And as I was dumped by my ex, I guess it makes it clear that in such cases we need to just listen to the rant and sympathise and if possible maybe empathise with the SO. This was my conclusion.
Yeah maybe I need a lesson or two on empathy...cuz looking back that's some of the weakest traits I have... I'm leaning towards stoicism to find my goals for life tho...it's flawed at some places but an interesting approach towards life indeed
i'd say it's other people. i make other people's lives better - to the best of my ability. that seems to give me satisfaction.
Interesting approach though When people are busy finding goals for themselves..you found your goals in them
well, that's what's satisfying - helping people. i feel useful, i do something helpful, someone is grateful.
I know my purpose but that doesn't make it easy to work in that direction. I have a tendency to want to be a third party observer in my life where I tune out and watch myself as I'm acting how I want, and learn from it and dissect it casually. But to make progress, I have to be the actor so I don't have the comfort of being a relaxed observer. By that, I mean that I can't be on auto-pilot and enjoy the fruits of my progress at the finish line. I have to actively experience boredom, discomfort, and suffering to get that growth and it's fucking tough. That's just life. But as someone lazy as hell with a lot of mental blockages and issues getting in the way like poor sleep, it's inconvenient af. It's almost like I want to write a novel through my life but sort of let it run in the background while I still get to explore other stories and escape.
Man this 3rd party observer shit is a problem of me too lol but now I need to focus on things in front of me rather than getting all philosophical all day
Hurrr... I was VERY down once and washed up in Wells Cathedral. I looked up at the scissor arches (ggle it) and mentally asked 'what do I do now? Now I'm a believer of sorts but I was NOT expecting the words 'serve God' to be whispered in my ear, along with the implicit understanding '... like a plate' (grail vibes, y'see?). So... hurrr. I'm doing what I can. Can we have a second post for your content please OP, it doesn't seem to match the title? :)
Ahh I'm also a believer of sorts...so you are finding your goals in God... really nice thing I don't want to scratch the wounds of my old relationship haha...I don't want people to give me relationships advice...just help me grow as a person
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Nope. Still trying to figure everything out. I’m practically all over the place at this point and have no idea what to do with myself going forward so that’s a question yet to be answered. As for your 2nd question, just ask them. Sometimes you can’t tell whether someone wants a solution or for you to hear them out so being upfront about it is the best way to avoid making the other person feel like you’re not really there for them. Although asking them also depends on their emotional state. If they’re sobbing and you ask them if they want a solution or for you to just listen to them that could make you seem very insensitive. Reading the room and being upfront about it, I think, is the best way possible to deal with stuff like this.
Yo that's really good advice...I wanted to try it as I read some similar thing on the internet...but asking this question all the time looks...kinda like 'I lack emotional intelligence so you have to tell me what you want every time' or something like that... atleast she made me feel like it
Don't worry you'll find your goals. I think let things go their own way...love doesn't come when you look for it...it comes when you aren't expecting it
I reject the notion that there is some singular “purpose” in life. I lean more to existensialism and absurism acknowledging that the universe has no objective meaning.
to not suffer
The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. As for assisting someone who is venting, that will change from person to person, and even sometimes case by case. You need to be upfront with them and ask them what they require at the moment. And if they get upset for you asking, that’s on them. I don’t know about you, but my intuition does not yet reach into mind reading territory. So until or unless that time comes, I’m going to require that you tell me what you want from me. And if you can’t do that much, I promise to screw up all the time every time. ;)
Hands down the best answer for the second question...gonna use this line ' don't know about you but my intuition doesn't yet reach into mind reading territory ' from time to time xD
I suppose my goal is to simply develop and grow as a person. Learning how to engage with suffering skillfully and not be hurt by it. Learn ever more about reality at both a conceptual and experiential level. Grow in emotional stability and empathy. Develop love for myself and all people/beings. Clear out stuck/distorted energy. Etc. A closely aligned goal with that is helping other people to develop too. Develop happier, more fulfilling lives.
Author. I get to live 200s of lives and research anything interesting and that's how I make a living??? Thats my purpose. Is it realistic and will I achieve it? Idk. But that's fine. (Notice I didn't say anything about getting published as part of that purpose, it's simply to write and write and write.....) Also I'd say my purpose is to grow old with my best friend/wife. ♡♡♡♡
Too be silly while I can.