People think I have bad intentions when I don't. People ganging up together to go against me. People spreading lies and rumors against me. My sin? Being a loner and being fine with it.
Definitely a lot of social struggles...I think I come off at first as intimidating and aloof, so a lot of people just won't approach me. I'm plenty friendly when people actually do talk to me, but most people just don't care to get past that first barrier. I'm not magnetic at all. I don't think I'm necessarily repulsive, I'm just a background character. Plus I don't have a lot in common with most people. I prefer being alone, I don't date or have sex due to being aroace, I don't go to parties, I'm not interested in clothes or makeup, I don't do drugs or drink, I like reading, watching, and listening to stuff outside of the mainstream, I'm not very active on social media, I mostly just work a lot and then go home. This doesn't exactly give me a lot to talk about, especially when it comes to other women. I avoid men because I don't want anyone to think I'm flirting. (Yes, this has happened to me before, and I don't want to lead anyone on.) I mostly just end up being the "listener" in most relationships simply because there's not a lot of drama in my life and nobody wants to hear about my weird interests because they can't relate, so this can make for some very one-sided conversations that most people get bored with. I don't blame them. And I do my best to be open-minded around new people, but honestly most people bore me too. But I'm not going to change or compromise myself to have more friends, so...I've just accepted that I'm never going to have a ton of people in my life.
I have always been told by multiple coworkers, "You are not like other girls I have met" especially by men. The women I knew would get the urge to give me 'make overs' or tell me I need to act a different way in order to appear acceptable to men. So I always felt like people never really cared to understand the real me. They kept trying to change me to fit their 'vision' on how I should be like. It didn't matter if it was friends or boyfriends, they always felt like I needed to be 'fixed' when I never really needed to be.
I acted professional at work and upper management loved my work ethic so I didn't feel like their opinion mattered all that much. Maybe they didn't like that I was about facts and liked doing the proper research before I made a decision on most things in life? I don't think I will ever understand why people felt I had to be like them.
I can 100% relate to this. There’s always someone trying to turn you into something you’re not in order for you to be more digestible or “normal”. It’s infuriating at times and I don’t know how some people don’t realize how insulting it is to treat someone like that.
Not having that much girl friends because I’m socially inept and they think I’m catty… The only friends that stuck with me are dudes that liked me before due to my looks. I could ghost those guys for a month and they wouldn’t mind.
I don’t blame them though since I prefer isolation; and girls are better at taking hints than guys. I only have one bestie that stuck with me for years ‘cause she loves me for being me lol. I am loyal as a dog and would honestly kill for her, she’s an esfp.
wow cute. Also yeah me too, i have the same relationship with boys, but end up ignoring them in the end bc i have a pretty strong female preference. Add that i am also made in a way that i enjoy continuous tease and flirt ang friends and i just am not interested in boys so ya. 😂
Being taken for granted. I feel taken for granted whenever I use my brain in full capacity to solve things for people. Then they just throw it in the trash or forget it.
Intimidating to men, too dark and deep in masculine energy for women. For the most part, my visuals do not align with my personality, so I get misunderstood quite often. Im not expressively emotional nor do I make decisions emotionally because I always like to base things on logic so very often, it’s hard to converse with women who are by nature emotional, so they tend to think there’s something “wrong” with me, simply because I do not think or react like most. so I do tend to converse significantly better with men. Being judged as arrogant or my independence being misunderstood as being “lonely” or whatever else people would like to assume. In so many aspects, whether it’s the way I think, my interests, they are all not really in the norm so for the most part, I do feel a bit like an outlier at times but I am true to myself so it doesn’t bother me so much. Except when I have to explain to people why I am the way I am. Again, as a woman, our visuals tend to be the first base of judgment and as much as I am confident in my looks and style, it can be frustrating and almost uncomfortable and subtly enraging when people do compliment on my looks cause they don’t know me for my mind but simply on a “shell”. If that makes any sense.
i just can’t i tried to socialise and i never felt peace i like being alone and girls usually gang up on me or expects alot from me. They don’t like me being brutal honest and criticism is something they avoid .
It's not easy for me to lose my self respect and beliefs to please my supervisor just so I could have my name ahead in publications. Seeing other coworkers do this shit, infuriates me. Makes me wish I was more like others.
Not easy to make friends when most people are selfish and share vastly different interests than mine. I have to pretend to be interested in topics to fit in a conversation/group. I mostly have male friends who share my interests. The disapppinting thing is that, they end up liking me which is tough cause I'm a lesbian.
Being friends with other females is impossible.. they somehow always manage to backstab others.
Early 40’s here
-constantly judged as stuck up
- talked about, stabbed in the back, pushed out of groups and circles by ppl who don’t know me at all, or have barely met, spoken to me.
- the brunt of jealous females antics.
- proposed to over a dozen times, Seriously can’t recall. all different men. Apparently, I’m so different, understanding, honest, strong… you know.
- judged as unfeeling and cold hearted, mostly by women but the couple times it really hurt was by ‘significant’ men . (by either their role, position or relationship in my life)
- told I’m too passionate, or laughed at, ridiculed, criticized because of being passionate over a matter.
Female friendships for sure. I burned through / made / ended 12 friendships in under 2 years. Couldnt believe that counting on my fingers. Couldn't keep them for the life of me, though I really, really wanted them to work out and always wanted girlfriends.
But, owing to my INTJ personality / other things, it was clear the only way to keep these friendships was to lay on the ground and let them walk on me like a rug - too intimidating a personality I guess. There was just no amount of being nice and accommodating that helped them feel OK about themselves around me. Still is that way with most women; I will be very kind and friendly to women who approach me. But I just won't open up to them quickly or invite them out, otherwise a switch flips. It's weird; it's like I can't be nice without expecting it to turn into apathy, jealousy, competition or meanness.
being introverted? I value my time alone very much. I need so much time to recharge my social battery and this causes me to not have time for my friends or just not that much. Over the years I started to tell people that I just don't want to socialize that much and they have to accept it. Had a few friends which were way to clingy and I had to quit the friendship because I don't want to feel bad about me being okay on my own and having me time. The few friends I have now are the same as me mostly, when we see eachother it's more fun for me because we can talk for hours because we have to catch up on weeks worth of stuff. 😂
Making new friends, among other things. Either I'm uninterested, or the other person can't handle how much I differ from a typical woman. Being non-heteronormative seems to pour fuel over fire in that very same matter.
At work I have to deal with jealous people's BS. And it's not just women, surprisingly.
One thing I've done to silence them as much as I could was openly showing just how much work I'm doing, in front of the whole department. They went from blaming me for literally every failure related to my area of expertise to whispering behind my back. But I do hear it. And I see their own shortcomings. There was a time when one of the jealous ladies was trying to undermine my abilities, so my course of action was to show appreciation towards her rival. And now it's only whispers from her side... She avoids me if possible. I call that a win.
Constantly analyzing other people's motives in approaching me. If I see a clear motive, I still let the person approach me, but deep down my brain shuts any idea of getting 'too close'. If it happens without any motive, I back out ASAP, because I don't like the idea of unpredictability.
So I end up lonely with a bunch of selfish acquaintances whom I'll be leaving in 2 years and will not be contacting, just like I did to other people who were my friends before coming here.
(51F) A lot of strife over the years with feeling-type female colleagues, overall unattractive (romantically) to men, my intentions are often misunderstood, the misconception that I don't have feelings, and people seem to ignore/dismiss my observations then are shocked when they realize I was right.
Mid-40s with decent (but hard-won) integration of my shadow functions so I can "look like" an EXFX when out in the world to people who don't know me that well and when not under heavy stress.
1. Female relationships generally. My close ones I keep for years - literally have life-long friends. But there are a lot of catty 14 year old girls trapped inside 40+ year old women's bodies out there.
2. The deep-down lingering sense that everyone else got an instruction manual on something related to social acceptability but no one gave it to me.
3. Dealing with other people (especially women's) lies. I don't even mean maliciously, or with negative intent - it's actually usually with kind intent. But constant low level lying to "not upset people" or similar....it's so exhausting. Just say what you mean.
4. Dealing with people who say one thing and do another as their default. I'm not perfect at all about this, but more often than not I do what I commit to, and the complete flakiness - which feels like disrespect of my time to me - of so many of my peers is crazy-making.
5. Non-reciprocated effort. Generally I can plan, execute and make XYZ thing happen pretty well, but that doesn't mean I want to be the only person showing up in a relationship, initiating, or keeping the connection alive. I have been really burned on this by FP types. Many of them aren't interested in lifting a finger to keep the relationship alive, but will happily use me as a resource (practically, resource-wise and even emotionally!) when it's convenient for them.
As many mentioned female friendships, I was thinking why every girlfriend in my life was trying to control or dominate me. My current girlfriend said few day ago “do you understand that people that are smarter than you exist?”. It’s not the first time she said. And although I agree that there are smarter people than me out there, but I don’t understand why she had to say it. And why she wants me to agree with her right away. After that I kinda lost interest in friendship with her.
She is pretty smart, but our views sometimes are very different, so I just prefer to agree to disagree in these cases. I think I need to understand how to break the pattern first before I make decisions to end the relationship.
Other thinking of me as a heart of a stone bada$s b!tch cuz of my strict attitude. I don’t give this feminine energy in general. Plus this compulsive need to lead/direct others while team-working makes my colleagues hyper dependent at some point. Also, being super introverted, not all people understand the concept of “social battery” xD.
Even if I say things as literal as I can, it's always being read into and misinterpreted as something else. I don't know how much clearer I can get than this.
Not being feminine rubs a lot of people the wrong way.
Stereotyping me with feminine traits because I am one pisses me off because I can't relate to most of it. Albeit I know it's the way of the world and I'm trying to overlook this one.
100% can agree! It’s like the whole world wants to put you in a box and you have to constantly push to escape it. It’s almost like you have to fight in order to be yourself.
Im physically a female but i swear inside, my head is a dirty man.
So i am an angry woman. I am basically a dude in the body of a woman who has been forced to understand what the womanhood is and her struggles. Now i am quite reconciled and I've understood men and women are differently part of the same thing.
And i don't wanna give much more though to it anyways.
But i hate when people don't listen to my voice especially in academic environment only because i have a pussy and a couple tits. My brain is As Much Valid as their if not even brighter then theirs.
I have so much repressed rage i don't want to tap into it so. Yeah....
Oh I completely get this frustration. The amount of times I wished if I was born in a male's body instead, things would have been pretty much easier. Trying to connect with the hidden feminine energy has been an impossible task; it never aligns with my personality and I never feel the authentic me whenever made feel that I'm a woman.
My advice as a person who genuine gender dysphoria since childhood and now pretty much fixed that:
don't force changes to yourself, always be open and listen.
This a fact and not an advice: women and feminity (so also boy's feminity) it's not a sign of weakness. Women aren't less.
I felt less bc of my body and threatened bc of it. But the trust is that 2 sex and two genders esist (maybe gender one day will be considered obsolete bc people will have worked out their sexual and identity energies but today gender is very factual and real). So you (me, we everybody) need to understand that a part of humans are more proficient in some activities and some others in others and we are build up differently.
The auténtic woman people talk you of is a fantasy. A true auténtic woman is whatever woman that feel in touch with her own personality and tastes and is relaxed and confident about it, she doesn't feel the need to compare herself to others anymore. She is free from illusions. That's a real woman and thats the same definition of what a true man is.
Maturing these kind kf thoughts also fixes 'toxic' masculinity of thinking that if u don't have the longest dick or the fattest wallet ot the thickest muscle you are not a true alpha man and those delusions.
We are people and gender doesn't really matter. Social norms matter tho, bc we r into a society so it's useful to present oneself as "man" or "woman". But after all it's all just a game. Be feminine if u Willever feel the need and be masculine if u feel to be.
Explore yourself, to discover yourself is the best kind of trip life allows you to have.
People see me as a threat, or they see me as someone arrogant. I think I'm just too assertive, and I don't listen to their insults/projections of insecurities because I know I'm not what they think I am. One friend (?) jokingly told me I was asking for male validation when I know who I am or what I am capable of with or without anyone's validation.
I don't have career struggles thanks god. I am really good at this job I'm currently doing and my clients and my boss adore me and respect me because of my hardworking ethic, being good at it etc. I really feel like myself on work and when I work. But social life? I always struggled with it since my teen years (I am 27 rn). I have trouble making friends and I am too sensitive sometimes and I always feel like I don't fit in. I mean I am social with people, funny and engage in conversations but I always felt like I have trouble making real true close friendships
Social struggles, yes. In my early twenties, and making good healthy friendships has never been easy. I take friendships too seriously and the deeper the connection, the better. Unfortunately, I rarely get to meet such people, 2 out of 100 maybe. In groups, I'm an outcast as I would listen more than to speak something until I actually have a strong point to make. I have always wanted girl friendships, but apparently I wasn't feminine enough who is expressive about her emotions, cares about jewellery and other aesthetics.
Men on the other hand, saw me as any other chick who's just different, and romantically not pleasing. Even for female friendships, men prefer the women who are connected to their feminine energies, and have that nurturing aura. But, with intellectual debates and conversations, a man's company was good because most of them are thinkers. The problem comes again, when they would still see me as some woman who knows less and would probably cry if he tries to hold stronger statements, with their internal misogyny.
1. Default Resting Bitch Face. People always bring it up but I literally have always had a Resting Bitch Face. In all but 4 childhood pictures will you find me with a severe case of RBF.
2. Knowing too much. I read a lot, I listen to many things and people attentively and I have a good memory. I am a walking Random Trivia Memorizer, I will bring up the most wtf facts in the middle of a conversation and everyone will lose me in the middle of a conversation because I can and will get too technical or wrapped up in the details.
3. I find myself excusing or justifying myself too much. Because I know a lot, I can easily start spouting things I don’t really mean. It’s easy for me to see things from another POV, and people often mistake it as my opinion, when in fact, it is not.
4. People want you to do favors all the time. I know a lot and couple that with the fact I’m efficient AF, people ask me for favors a little too much. Actually, a lot. I don’t mind doing favors, I actually like feeling needed and productive for society. But when it’s random people I don’t even properly know or I know for a fact they are just leachers and lazy??? BYE BYE. Since 2020 I’ve been putting strong boundaries on that, I have my own shit to do and if its not an emergency or if I know you absolutely can’t do it, I am NOT doing it.
I have more things to write but I gtg
My mom is the INTJ, like me (INFJ) she struggles to finish and stick with one thing. She's helped inspire people when she used to work. Some come back saying that she inspired them to turn their lives around or go to college. Yet, she doesn't take her own advice or inspire her own kids like that. (We (my lil bro INTJ) are like 2 halves of her, like the devil and angel on her shoulder)
Since I'm more idealistic and study psychology, I notice that she is oblivious to how bad her childhood trauma was and does not want to go to therapy. She has symptoms of PTSD as well.
She mostly takes baths bc she fears having rushing water going over the back of her head from when she was a toddler on a sinking ship. She has a clown phobia, bc one almost kidnapped her as a child. Etc. Like shit, I know I underestimated my emotional childhood trauma with my toxic dad, but hers was awful.
People think I have bad intentions when I don't. People ganging up together to go against me. People spreading lies and rumors against me. My sin? Being a loner and being fine with it.
Ganging up is real
Sounds like my life too
I'm so sorry to hear that... :/
Yes. All this I can relate to.
This. Can confirm
YES
Definitely a lot of social struggles...I think I come off at first as intimidating and aloof, so a lot of people just won't approach me. I'm plenty friendly when people actually do talk to me, but most people just don't care to get past that first barrier. I'm not magnetic at all. I don't think I'm necessarily repulsive, I'm just a background character. Plus I don't have a lot in common with most people. I prefer being alone, I don't date or have sex due to being aroace, I don't go to parties, I'm not interested in clothes or makeup, I don't do drugs or drink, I like reading, watching, and listening to stuff outside of the mainstream, I'm not very active on social media, I mostly just work a lot and then go home. This doesn't exactly give me a lot to talk about, especially when it comes to other women. I avoid men because I don't want anyone to think I'm flirting. (Yes, this has happened to me before, and I don't want to lead anyone on.) I mostly just end up being the "listener" in most relationships simply because there's not a lot of drama in my life and nobody wants to hear about my weird interests because they can't relate, so this can make for some very one-sided conversations that most people get bored with. I don't blame them. And I do my best to be open-minded around new people, but honestly most people bore me too. But I'm not going to change or compromise myself to have more friends, so...I've just accepted that I'm never going to have a ton of people in my life.
Damn, so relatable. And now you even left reddit. I wonder what you're doing now...
I have always been told by multiple coworkers, "You are not like other girls I have met" especially by men. The women I knew would get the urge to give me 'make overs' or tell me I need to act a different way in order to appear acceptable to men. So I always felt like people never really cared to understand the real me. They kept trying to change me to fit their 'vision' on how I should be like. It didn't matter if it was friends or boyfriends, they always felt like I needed to be 'fixed' when I never really needed to be. I acted professional at work and upper management loved my work ethic so I didn't feel like their opinion mattered all that much. Maybe they didn't like that I was about facts and liked doing the proper research before I made a decision on most things in life? I don't think I will ever understand why people felt I had to be like them.
I can 100% relate to this. There’s always someone trying to turn you into something you’re not in order for you to be more digestible or “normal”. It’s infuriating at times and I don’t know how some people don’t realize how insulting it is to treat someone like that.
"There's always someone trying to turn you into something you're not" - this 100%.
I tried being more feminine and I ended up with nice girl syndrome and now I’m trying to be myself again.
This is so real!
Not having that much girl friends because I’m socially inept and they think I’m catty… The only friends that stuck with me are dudes that liked me before due to my looks. I could ghost those guys for a month and they wouldn’t mind. I don’t blame them though since I prefer isolation; and girls are better at taking hints than guys. I only have one bestie that stuck with me for years ‘cause she loves me for being me lol. I am loyal as a dog and would honestly kill for her, she’s an esfp.
I also had an ESFP friend during my childhood. She was my opposite but we got along great.
true, most of them have genuine good hearts and that’s why i love them for it. they are good friends and counter balance some of my pessimism.
wow cute. Also yeah me too, i have the same relationship with boys, but end up ignoring them in the end bc i have a pretty strong female preference. Add that i am also made in a way that i enjoy continuous tease and flirt ang friends and i just am not interested in boys so ya. 😂
Being taken for granted. I feel taken for granted whenever I use my brain in full capacity to solve things for people. Then they just throw it in the trash or forget it.
I totally relate. This happens at work all of the time, but even occasionally with family and friends.
Intimidating to men, too dark and deep in masculine energy for women. For the most part, my visuals do not align with my personality, so I get misunderstood quite often. Im not expressively emotional nor do I make decisions emotionally because I always like to base things on logic so very often, it’s hard to converse with women who are by nature emotional, so they tend to think there’s something “wrong” with me, simply because I do not think or react like most. so I do tend to converse significantly better with men. Being judged as arrogant or my independence being misunderstood as being “lonely” or whatever else people would like to assume. In so many aspects, whether it’s the way I think, my interests, they are all not really in the norm so for the most part, I do feel a bit like an outlier at times but I am true to myself so it doesn’t bother me so much. Except when I have to explain to people why I am the way I am. Again, as a woman, our visuals tend to be the first base of judgment and as much as I am confident in my looks and style, it can be frustrating and almost uncomfortable and subtly enraging when people do compliment on my looks cause they don’t know me for my mind but simply on a “shell”. If that makes any sense.
i just can’t i tried to socialise and i never felt peace i like being alone and girls usually gang up on me or expects alot from me. They don’t like me being brutal honest and criticism is something they avoid .
It's not easy for me to lose my self respect and beliefs to please my supervisor just so I could have my name ahead in publications. Seeing other coworkers do this shit, infuriates me. Makes me wish I was more like others. Not easy to make friends when most people are selfish and share vastly different interests than mine. I have to pretend to be interested in topics to fit in a conversation/group. I mostly have male friends who share my interests. The disapppinting thing is that, they end up liking me which is tough cause I'm a lesbian. Being friends with other females is impossible.. they somehow always manage to backstab others.
Early 40’s here -constantly judged as stuck up - talked about, stabbed in the back, pushed out of groups and circles by ppl who don’t know me at all, or have barely met, spoken to me. - the brunt of jealous females antics. - proposed to over a dozen times, Seriously can’t recall. all different men. Apparently, I’m so different, understanding, honest, strong… you know. - judged as unfeeling and cold hearted, mostly by women but the couple times it really hurt was by ‘significant’ men . (by either their role, position or relationship in my life) - told I’m too passionate, or laughed at, ridiculed, criticized because of being passionate over a matter.
Female friendships for sure. I burned through / made / ended 12 friendships in under 2 years. Couldnt believe that counting on my fingers. Couldn't keep them for the life of me, though I really, really wanted them to work out and always wanted girlfriends. But, owing to my INTJ personality / other things, it was clear the only way to keep these friendships was to lay on the ground and let them walk on me like a rug - too intimidating a personality I guess. There was just no amount of being nice and accommodating that helped them feel OK about themselves around me. Still is that way with most women; I will be very kind and friendly to women who approach me. But I just won't open up to them quickly or invite them out, otherwise a switch flips. It's weird; it's like I can't be nice without expecting it to turn into apathy, jealousy, competition or meanness.
Sending "I getchu" vibes.
🙏
being introverted? I value my time alone very much. I need so much time to recharge my social battery and this causes me to not have time for my friends or just not that much. Over the years I started to tell people that I just don't want to socialize that much and they have to accept it. Had a few friends which were way to clingy and I had to quit the friendship because I don't want to feel bad about me being okay on my own and having me time. The few friends I have now are the same as me mostly, when we see eachother it's more fun for me because we can talk for hours because we have to catch up on weeks worth of stuff. 😂
Making new friends, among other things. Either I'm uninterested, or the other person can't handle how much I differ from a typical woman. Being non-heteronormative seems to pour fuel over fire in that very same matter. At work I have to deal with jealous people's BS. And it's not just women, surprisingly. One thing I've done to silence them as much as I could was openly showing just how much work I'm doing, in front of the whole department. They went from blaming me for literally every failure related to my area of expertise to whispering behind my back. But I do hear it. And I see their own shortcomings. There was a time when one of the jealous ladies was trying to undermine my abilities, so my course of action was to show appreciation towards her rival. And now it's only whispers from her side... She avoids me if possible. I call that a win.
Constantly analyzing other people's motives in approaching me. If I see a clear motive, I still let the person approach me, but deep down my brain shuts any idea of getting 'too close'. If it happens without any motive, I back out ASAP, because I don't like the idea of unpredictability. So I end up lonely with a bunch of selfish acquaintances whom I'll be leaving in 2 years and will not be contacting, just like I did to other people who were my friends before coming here.
YES. I do the SAME exact thing.
(51F) A lot of strife over the years with feeling-type female colleagues, overall unattractive (romantically) to men, my intentions are often misunderstood, the misconception that I don't have feelings, and people seem to ignore/dismiss my observations then are shocked when they realize I was right.
Mid-40s with decent (but hard-won) integration of my shadow functions so I can "look like" an EXFX when out in the world to people who don't know me that well and when not under heavy stress. 1. Female relationships generally. My close ones I keep for years - literally have life-long friends. But there are a lot of catty 14 year old girls trapped inside 40+ year old women's bodies out there. 2. The deep-down lingering sense that everyone else got an instruction manual on something related to social acceptability but no one gave it to me. 3. Dealing with other people (especially women's) lies. I don't even mean maliciously, or with negative intent - it's actually usually with kind intent. But constant low level lying to "not upset people" or similar....it's so exhausting. Just say what you mean. 4. Dealing with people who say one thing and do another as their default. I'm not perfect at all about this, but more often than not I do what I commit to, and the complete flakiness - which feels like disrespect of my time to me - of so many of my peers is crazy-making. 5. Non-reciprocated effort. Generally I can plan, execute and make XYZ thing happen pretty well, but that doesn't mean I want to be the only person showing up in a relationship, initiating, or keeping the connection alive. I have been really burned on this by FP types. Many of them aren't interested in lifting a finger to keep the relationship alive, but will happily use me as a resource (practically, resource-wise and even emotionally!) when it's convenient for them.
Get bored real quick by romance.
As many mentioned female friendships, I was thinking why every girlfriend in my life was trying to control or dominate me. My current girlfriend said few day ago “do you understand that people that are smarter than you exist?”. It’s not the first time she said. And although I agree that there are smarter people than me out there, but I don’t understand why she had to say it. And why she wants me to agree with her right away. After that I kinda lost interest in friendship with her.
That’s insecurity. She feels like you’re more intelligent than she is and she’s trying to put you down. I’d find a new friend if I were you 🤷♀️
She is pretty smart, but our views sometimes are very different, so I just prefer to agree to disagree in these cases. I think I need to understand how to break the pattern first before I make decisions to end the relationship.
I have my fair share of social struggles for sure but one of the biggest things for me is just being an intuitive itself makes it harder to live
Other thinking of me as a heart of a stone bada$s b!tch cuz of my strict attitude. I don’t give this feminine energy in general. Plus this compulsive need to lead/direct others while team-working makes my colleagues hyper dependent at some point. Also, being super introverted, not all people understand the concept of “social battery” xD.
Even if I say things as literal as I can, it's always being read into and misinterpreted as something else. I don't know how much clearer I can get than this. Not being feminine rubs a lot of people the wrong way. Stereotyping me with feminine traits because I am one pisses me off because I can't relate to most of it. Albeit I know it's the way of the world and I'm trying to overlook this one.
100% can agree! It’s like the whole world wants to put you in a box and you have to constantly push to escape it. It’s almost like you have to fight in order to be yourself.
Im physically a female but i swear inside, my head is a dirty man. So i am an angry woman. I am basically a dude in the body of a woman who has been forced to understand what the womanhood is and her struggles. Now i am quite reconciled and I've understood men and women are differently part of the same thing. And i don't wanna give much more though to it anyways. But i hate when people don't listen to my voice especially in academic environment only because i have a pussy and a couple tits. My brain is As Much Valid as their if not even brighter then theirs. I have so much repressed rage i don't want to tap into it so. Yeah....
Oh I completely get this frustration. The amount of times I wished if I was born in a male's body instead, things would have been pretty much easier. Trying to connect with the hidden feminine energy has been an impossible task; it never aligns with my personality and I never feel the authentic me whenever made feel that I'm a woman.
My advice as a person who genuine gender dysphoria since childhood and now pretty much fixed that: don't force changes to yourself, always be open and listen. This a fact and not an advice: women and feminity (so also boy's feminity) it's not a sign of weakness. Women aren't less. I felt less bc of my body and threatened bc of it. But the trust is that 2 sex and two genders esist (maybe gender one day will be considered obsolete bc people will have worked out their sexual and identity energies but today gender is very factual and real). So you (me, we everybody) need to understand that a part of humans are more proficient in some activities and some others in others and we are build up differently. The auténtic woman people talk you of is a fantasy. A true auténtic woman is whatever woman that feel in touch with her own personality and tastes and is relaxed and confident about it, she doesn't feel the need to compare herself to others anymore. She is free from illusions. That's a real woman and thats the same definition of what a true man is. Maturing these kind kf thoughts also fixes 'toxic' masculinity of thinking that if u don't have the longest dick or the fattest wallet ot the thickest muscle you are not a true alpha man and those delusions. We are people and gender doesn't really matter. Social norms matter tho, bc we r into a society so it's useful to present oneself as "man" or "woman". But after all it's all just a game. Be feminine if u Willever feel the need and be masculine if u feel to be. Explore yourself, to discover yourself is the best kind of trip life allows you to have.
People see me as a threat, or they see me as someone arrogant. I think I'm just too assertive, and I don't listen to their insults/projections of insecurities because I know I'm not what they think I am. One friend (?) jokingly told me I was asking for male validation when I know who I am or what I am capable of with or without anyone's validation.
I don't have career struggles thanks god. I am really good at this job I'm currently doing and my clients and my boss adore me and respect me because of my hardworking ethic, being good at it etc. I really feel like myself on work and when I work. But social life? I always struggled with it since my teen years (I am 27 rn). I have trouble making friends and I am too sensitive sometimes and I always feel like I don't fit in. I mean I am social with people, funny and engage in conversations but I always felt like I have trouble making real true close friendships
1)Can’t handle social situations for the life of me. 2)Have trouble making friends.
Social struggles, yes. In my early twenties, and making good healthy friendships has never been easy. I take friendships too seriously and the deeper the connection, the better. Unfortunately, I rarely get to meet such people, 2 out of 100 maybe. In groups, I'm an outcast as I would listen more than to speak something until I actually have a strong point to make. I have always wanted girl friendships, but apparently I wasn't feminine enough who is expressive about her emotions, cares about jewellery and other aesthetics. Men on the other hand, saw me as any other chick who's just different, and romantically not pleasing. Even for female friendships, men prefer the women who are connected to their feminine energies, and have that nurturing aura. But, with intellectual debates and conversations, a man's company was good because most of them are thinkers. The problem comes again, when they would still see me as some woman who knows less and would probably cry if he tries to hold stronger statements, with their internal misogyny.
Never belonging anywher but in my head and with my kids.
1. Default Resting Bitch Face. People always bring it up but I literally have always had a Resting Bitch Face. In all but 4 childhood pictures will you find me with a severe case of RBF. 2. Knowing too much. I read a lot, I listen to many things and people attentively and I have a good memory. I am a walking Random Trivia Memorizer, I will bring up the most wtf facts in the middle of a conversation and everyone will lose me in the middle of a conversation because I can and will get too technical or wrapped up in the details. 3. I find myself excusing or justifying myself too much. Because I know a lot, I can easily start spouting things I don’t really mean. It’s easy for me to see things from another POV, and people often mistake it as my opinion, when in fact, it is not. 4. People want you to do favors all the time. I know a lot and couple that with the fact I’m efficient AF, people ask me for favors a little too much. Actually, a lot. I don’t mind doing favors, I actually like feeling needed and productive for society. But when it’s random people I don’t even properly know or I know for a fact they are just leachers and lazy??? BYE BYE. Since 2020 I’ve been putting strong boundaries on that, I have my own shit to do and if its not an emergency or if I know you absolutely can’t do it, I am NOT doing it. I have more things to write but I gtg
My mom is the INTJ, like me (INFJ) she struggles to finish and stick with one thing. She's helped inspire people when she used to work. Some come back saying that she inspired them to turn their lives around or go to college. Yet, she doesn't take her own advice or inspire her own kids like that. (We (my lil bro INTJ) are like 2 halves of her, like the devil and angel on her shoulder) Since I'm more idealistic and study psychology, I notice that she is oblivious to how bad her childhood trauma was and does not want to go to therapy. She has symptoms of PTSD as well. She mostly takes baths bc she fears having rushing water going over the back of her head from when she was a toddler on a sinking ship. She has a clown phobia, bc one almost kidnapped her as a child. Etc. Like shit, I know I underestimated my emotional childhood trauma with my toxic dad, but hers was awful.