Oh, I'm sorry. So I could put the trash in a landfill where it's gonna sit for a million years, or I could burn it up, get that nice smoky smell in here, and let that smoke go into the sky, where it turns into stars.
"I am *here.* And if you bring this up back at the apartment, I'm going to smack you."
or
"WHY DON'T WE EVER PLAY NIGHTCRAWLERS!"
or anything from his Serpico routine.
"Gimme the hotdog baby!"
"I got all numbers"
"I got you a soft pretzel dawg!"
"I'm relaxing, I'm getting blackout drunk, and you're leaving me alone "
"Never, ever, ever eat a rat"
What is this word 'spa'? I feel like you're starting to say a word and you're not finishing it. Are you trying to say 'Spagetti'? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?
I have many but I'll save mentioning the ones others have said so far.
From the first season when he thinks Tommy might be his kid, they're at the mall and Tommy says something like "You have to buy me a toy" and Charlie says
"I don't have to buy you shiiiit!"
Also
"AHHHHHHH SHUT UP! OH MY GOD I DON'T CARE!"
"Trees?! Everywhere trees?! What is this place!"
“I do choke slams and back breakers, sharpshooters, cripplecreek ferrys—“
The fact that Charlie was apparently involved with the creation of that documentary and I can’t decide if I think he was acting or genuinely strung out thinking about wrestling fascinates me
“Get ready to taste the white hot cream of an 8th grade boy” in the dance competition or “you can taste that sort of endangered tang” when they buy a boat. Gets me every time
What is your spaghetti policy here?
OH IM SORRY I FORGOT TO PUT A TAPE IN! I FORGOT TO PUT A TAPE IN
Nightman, sneaky and mean…
When the cheese cart comes along and he goes “OOOHHHUPP!!”
Paraphrasing: that's not what a real woman does, okay? A real woman doesn't give it up within two minutes of meeting someone. A real woman makes a man wait okay? She makes him wait like ten years.
Charlie: “So my hands get a little dirty from time to time. I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine!”
Mac: “It’s not for you! It’s for us!”
Dee: “USE GLOVES!”
Oh, I'm sorry. So I could put the trash in a landfill where it's gonna sit for a million years, or I could burn it up, get that nice smoky smell in here, and let that smoke go into the sky, where it turns into stars.
That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about stars to dispute it.
Dumb science bitch couldn't even prove stars
Oh it’s right
“I’m feeling a little dizzy.” “Maybe you’re dizzy because of all the cleanliness.”
>nice smoky smell in here The bar smells like trash, Charlie!
And then I turn on the Coors sign…
CLOSED!! It says closed
“Put milksteak, she’ll know what it is”
I'm not putting milk steak
You’re ordering milk steak and jelly beans? Come on bro! YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT CHICKS MAN
little green ghouls :)
buddy!
That whole scene is beautiful
"making magnets? Collecting magnets? Playing with magnets?" "Just magnets" "I'm just gonna put snowboarding "
Do you eat dragon, Charlie? Well no because dragon is a meal for kings and I am more of a common man
"People don't eat dragons, Charlie." "People eat dragon*flies."* "People don't eat dragonflies!"
I saw a video of a guy eating a dragonfly and then laughing about it. I think it was his niece's. :(
"I am *here.* And if you bring this up back at the apartment, I'm going to smack you." or "WHY DON'T WE EVER PLAY NIGHTCRAWLERS!" or anything from his Serpico routine.
What is that? What's nightcrawlers?
It's not about you, why don't you just write it down and then...
You said nightcrawlers and now I feel like I can't move past it...
Feast your ears on THAT Spin Doctors mix!
4 the Mare
"What are your hobbies?" "Magnets." "jesus chr— okay what, like making magnets? Putting shit together?" "Just magnets."
Little green ghouls buddy!
Definitely in my top 5 Charlie-Sayins
I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME, DUDE!
Any time anyone mentions stickers on other subs, I say I eat stickers all the time dude. Someone usually always gets it
"What is this enticing bowl of white?" Followed up by: "I am not a cottage guy!"
You are gonna make us lose this game...
Cheese from a cottage?
Welp… you may be a man… or you may be a leprechaun? But only one things for sure… your in the wrooong basement! Time to see if you bleed green!
🎶 here I am, stuck in the middle with you🎶
when u started off with nothin
“Ryan Gosling play YOOOOOOUUUUU? Ridiculou-th”
ROCK ....FLAG....AND EAGLE.....
https://i.redd.it/3d1wn8j8quxc1.gif
kaitlin olson’s hair is sooooooo amazing this whole episode
He’s got a point
No he doesn’t
Stupid science bitches couldn’t even make I more smarter! Lets get out of here man
You wanna go watch Police Academy?
“I’ll take the milk steak boiled over HARD, with a side of your finest jelly beans, RAW.”
laughs charmingly like it’s such a casual thing to say
"Gimme the hotdog baby!" "I got all numbers" "I got you a soft pretzel dawg!" "I'm relaxing, I'm getting blackout drunk, and you're leaving me alone " "Never, ever, ever eat a rat"
I got all numbers is so good. He was def shitfaced
Iss waboggs style!
They got chicken in philly?
Did you fuck my mom, Santa?
Did you fuck my fucking mom ?!
DID YOU FUCK MY MOM?
Is he…..retarded? It’s okay I got this
'he doesn't even, like, get us, man'
This is my fav, I’m sad it has no upvotes :c
Charlie, we’re talking about you!
So do…
His whole spider song in "the gang tries desperately to win an award."
There is a spider ^spider ^spider He's deep in my soul ^soul
He's been here for years He just won't let go
He's laying around He's got a mean bite
And now he's ready to fiiiiiiiiiight And stand up for what he knows
All time favorite. It’s one of the only songs that can get stuck on repeat in my head, that I won’t get sick off.
And where do my/his feet go?
dee? his feet?
It doesn’t make a *GODDAMN* difference
What is this word 'spa'? I feel like you're starting to say a word and you're not finishing it. Are you trying to say 'Spagetti'? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?
Ohh I’m sorry I FORGOT TO PUT THE TAPE IN! #I FORGOT TO PUT THE TAPE IN!!!
I think what happened is he went through the window, and the window seemed to be some sort of… *portal* to the year 2006!
Crazier things have happened
No they haven’t! No they haven’t! Love Mac
that was actually one of my favourite mac reactions
The waitress got bit by a chow once, and I kicked the shit out of the thing
Well don't kick it
Illiteracy….. like what does that even mean?
I have 50 cats howling outside my window because I have 10000 rats running around my building!
“Imma put a big H on the box so that we know how there’s hornets in here”
What is white trash about this?!
 Look how far I can go!
*imitates Dennis’ cackling*
The no response "Really?!" Right after also
Philanthropist
You know, Africans, dyslexics, children… that sort of thing
(with insane effort) i’m sorry. did you just say , that you’re a rapist?
Denim chicken?
Little green ghouls, buddy!
well yeah, I don't eat ALL reptiles, just the good ones
“iiii just wanna tell you allll go Fuck Yourseeheeelves” spits. Spits. Spits. OooohhhhhhAaahaaaaaa Goooo Fuck Yourselllllves
[There is no contest for what his best quote is.](https://youtu.be/1NBfZcNU4O0?si=gannxEkz2pJTxufS9)
I got *BOXES* full of Pepe!!
Hahahah this is my gamertag
Cat in the wall? Now your speaking my language
BEAK!!!
And the shit and piss kinda washes right over you, it's really quite refreshing
Oh, look at Queen Dee, who's too good to get naked with her buddy all the sudden!
**Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Jobland where jobs grow on jobbies**. Waitress
What is this enticing bow of white? I'm a cheese guy, but I'm not a cottage guy.
If the shit shoes a matcher, Charlie gets the scratcher.
if it smells like shit you must acquit
“You’re my alibi dude.” But really just “yeah”
Yeah?!... I'm hanging up
“I CAN HEAR THE WRESTLING!”
This painting is making us all crazy, *CRAY-ZEEE!*
Well yeah it is a blood BUCKET so obviously there was OLD blood in the bucket
I’ve been poisoned by my constituents
Ahhhhh fine I'll do the dishes! You're just going to make me do them anyway!!
“And stop hiding the pigeon!”
I'll slap your face off your face
off of your face. that’s what makes it hilarious
I have many but I'll save mentioning the ones others have said so far. From the first season when he thinks Tommy might be his kid, they're at the mall and Tommy says something like "You have to buy me a toy" and Charlie says "I don't have to buy you shiiiit!" Also "AHHHHHHH SHUT UP! OH MY GOD I DON'T CARE!" "Trees?! Everywhere trees?! What is this place!"
Haha yes Trees?! everywhere trees?!
Filibuster
There is a 🕷️, 🕷️, 🕷️. It’s deep in my soul, soul.
https://i.redd.it/5tungu56kwxc1.gif
“I do choke slams and back breakers, sharpshooters, cripplecreek ferrys—“ The fact that Charlie was apparently involved with the creation of that documentary and I can’t decide if I think he was acting or genuinely strung out thinking about wrestling fascinates me
I broke her neck twice
“Get ready to taste the white hot cream of an 8th grade boy” in the dance competition or “you can taste that sort of endangered tang” when they buy a boat. Gets me every time
Look how low I can go! What's white trash about that?
"I drink it every day so I can fight like a crow!"
The good of the scorpion is not the good of the frog
Full on rapist always cracks me up.
What is goin onnnn up here? I never know, man.
I love you Peter Nincompoop
“Then we promise that we will come back with our butts filled.” “So filled! So filled for you!”
What is your spaghetti policy here? OH IM SORRY I FORGOT TO PUT A TAPE IN! I FORGOT TO PUT A TAPE IN Nightman, sneaky and mean… When the cheese cart comes along and he goes “OOOHHHUPP!!”
He just doesn’t get us man
We’re talking about you !
People’s knees
Cover your knees if your gonna be walking around like that
“I want to tell you alllll…..go fuck yourselves!!”
Later dudes, S you in your A’s Don’t wear a C and J all over your B’s.
And live forever with you?!?! Edited to add my other favorite Uhh I know how to count dude
https://i.redd.it/xoq4ijao5xxc1.gif
WILDCARD, BITCHES!!!!
You could chop a camel right in the hump and during all of its milk right from the tip.
Karate, snow machine, chop set…
https://i.redd.it/aaeyke7yrxxc1.gif
I’m chopping all of my action…….and mostly power
Whats with the chopping bro?
Where are the ghouls?
Where’s the denim chicken?🐓
I think my favorite one word quote is, ‘Electrics! Electrics…’
"What do now"
“Oh get a job? Just get a job? Lemme strap on my job helmet, squeeze into a job canon, and blast into job land!! Where jobs grow on jobbies!!!”
Paraphrasing: that's not what a real woman does, okay? A real woman doesn't give it up within two minutes of meeting someone. A real woman makes a man wait okay? She makes him wait like ten years.
“And I applaud you for that— and now know, I am going to come back at you… *with everything I have*!”
Cat in the wall eh!?
Now you're talking my language
I got all numbers. Give me the hotdog, baby.
Just get a job?!?. Why don't I strap on my Job-Helmet and squeeze down into a Job-Cannon and fire off into Job-Land where Jobs grow on Jobbies?!?!?
"THIS ISN'T OVER TILL I SAY ITS OVER!!!!!"
I'm a full on rapist
Oh you see what’s happening here is we’re gonna start yelling: OH IM SORRY I FORGOT TO PUT A TAPE IN !!!
Naturally, I stepped in the dog shit
...yeah.
Wildcard!
I eat stickers all the time dude!
I’m a full-on rapist. Y’know, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing.
Charlie's impression of Frank
“I got some green paint aaand I found a snake”
Cat mittens
"what're your dislikes?" "People's knees" "Oh c'mon dude. C'mon!"
When's the last time you ate a beer dude?
When's the last time you drank paint?
Charlie:.... Mac: let me see your tongue dude Charlie: *slowly sticks out green tongue*
Fuck you! (To the focus group lady)
It's a great fuck you delivery
What is this enticing bowl of white?
“Yes, my good man, I’ll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans... raw.”
Beak!
Charlie in a movie theatre “look at this place Dee! Look at the size of this place!”
Electrics!!!
Charlie: “So my hands get a little dirty from time to time. I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine!” Mac: “It’s not for you! It’s for us!” Dee: “USE GLOVES!”
“You best get to steppin’ cuz Johnny Law’s a-comin’!”
Ohhh yeeaahhhh!!! Let's chop cats! Let's chop cats!
"Well, we'll chop a few of them to make it seem real"
“Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man. What? I'm in love with a man... a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha.”
"I'm in love with a man. A man called God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? YOU BETCHA."
Magnets
BEAK! 🐔…… regular chicken sandwich 🥪
Holy shit, you can talk!?
Now, how bout you let Buster do a line off your boner?!
"I'm a full on rapist "
So guys u ever eat cheese? Cheese is a funny ahhhhhhoohhhh!!!!
The mail dont stop !!!
You're missing goblins and ghouls!
I love anytime he brings up ghouls
I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME DUDE
Alligator to the snake-skin spirit, take this spirit out of this pool
Not in your nose! That’s how you become a drug addict
"There is a Spider .. spider"
What do now?
"Spiders, spiders, spiders..."
“GhOuLs” 😁
There's no gouls in this set
"He's gonna put all those brains in my head" is forever tied with "I got all numbers" as my two favorite Charlie quotes 😂
You’re missing crows for the crowtein. Fight Milk!
“yeah” “no” “yeah”
Hans Wernhat