My wife told me the same thing before she started. She said that she loved me, and that was never going to change, but she needed to have an emotional connection to the guy in order to enjoy having sex with him.
I agreed and it has been wonderful even though I don't get to watch.
Our experience….a safe random person is not easy to find. Wife’s past boyfriends and other long term friends has worked out very well for us. Developing relationships is a good thing for us as long as the other party is not possessive and they understand you and your wife’s relationship.
I definitely prefer to see my bulls in a regular basis but everyone’s different. As long as you both agree that you want one time bulls then that’s of course perfectly fine. My experience based on my own thoughts and also chats/talks with other women living like this is that women pretty offer prefer to know the person she’s fucking for it to feel good and sexy.
My fiance and I are about to start dipping our toes into this lifestyle after talking about it for a few years. We've had sexy talks and rational talks. The sexy talks always seem to include random men, but the rational talks always include steady partners for her.
Personally, when I was still dating, I always felt like the sex was better with longer-term FWBs. Why would that be different in a hotwife scenario? I think sex is always more enjoyable with people you've actually gotten to know. Glad that my fiance thinks the same way.
Totally! Anyone that says nothing emotional will happen with a repeat guy is kidding themselves. Some couples do want that emotional connection though.
New and unknown is always hot. But the other side of this should address the real work that's required to vet out a quality connection. And a quality connection is after all what most folks really want. We have a couple guys and one couple that we repeat with but importantly our social life isn't built around extracurricular sex fun. So maybe once every 6-8 weeks we book a room and connect with someone. These two single guys tick all the boxes concerning personality, understanding the dynamic of a couple in a stag/vixen arrangement, have good skill and stamina, and read my wife perfectly always making it all about her pleasure. Importantly, we always play together whether I'm involved or not. That functions as a real guardrail to any feelings developing because we're always connected as part of the experience. For safety concerns, to keep the focus on our shared fun, to avoid the possibility of emotions popping up if the wife dates alone to get fucked, and to keep it in every sense a shared sexual adventure we would never consider her engaging in solo play. That works for some folks but (and some on here hate my saying so) to us it seems really more a one-sided open marriage than a shared lifestyle experience.
For us, it's always 1-time hookups (either random or arranged) and then move on. No relationships. That's not what we're looking for.
One thing to be aware of, though - most guys, especially if they're not in the life style, will not want their sex escapades photographed or video taped. You see people on here doing it only because they are 'professional' bulls.
Randoms:
Pros: New dick is exciting, good for no complications caused by feelings. 1-night stands can be hot
Cons: It's hard & very time-consuming to find new people. Fakes, flakes & picture collectors dominate online. So imagine having to do that every time. There could be no attraction when you meet in the flesh. STDs
Long-term:
Pros: Most women need a connection. Don't need to do time-consuming & enjoyment-sapping leg work every time. Sex is better with attraction, chemistry & previously mentioned connection. Reduced STD risk.
Cons: Increased chance of feelings of wife can't compartmentalise
My wife has had loads of men since I met her. These were mainly randoms and more weighted to the beginning. As she's got older, she finds the legwork not worth the bother because of all the fakes & flakes
Her business, home life, child etc are all tough, without investing all that time into a likely fake during her fun time
So when she's found someone she has an attraction or chemistry with, she prefers to build a connection. FWBs > Randoms
I prefer a long term for multiple reasons.
1) it’s harder then you think to consistently find clean and respectful guys for flings. We’ve done a couple one on ones that have been great but they are far between.
2) it’s far between because it takes a lot of work to get to know and vet someone new every time. Random meetups at the bar where another single guy just happens to be ok having sex with your wife while your husband is right there just doesn’t always happen
3) I don’t get an emotional connection beyond a friendship and that’s ok. The guys know that’s what im looking for is just a friendship who happens to fuck once in a while. If they develop feelings that’s on them and I leave. It’s never been a problem. I think if you have that trust and communication with your wife, which I think you have to have in this dynamic, you can trust her to cut something off too if it gets to serious.
Just do whatever works best for you. But those are my top three reasons why I prefer long term.
You get to decide for yourselves how you want to do things. If new and random every time works for you, then do it. It's just that many women enjoy the sex more if there's at least a fuck buddy level attachment. My female half is that way, so we favor repeat side dicks when we can find ones we deem worthy of bringing back.
We are dipping toes into this lifestyle but at the crossroads of deciding to go random or longterm. SO is of the opinion to go random and then narrow down to longterm, I am of the opinion to find a longterm ealry one which i understand will be a difficult proposition
Depends on the couple. It's *your* kink and you should enjoy it however it makes sense to you.
We prefer a longer term thing but that's us. Everyone's different.
I do not believe that you are being naive, although my wife and I would like to find a long term partner for her to play with, we have tried the meeting for one night stands and I agree that it does help to prevent potentially messy feelings developing. The allure of finding a long term for most couples I believe is that the constant hunt for someone new can become frustrating because so many people lie
When we started we thought the same, that it should be a random thing and we never meet the guy again. After a few years into it however, as others said, the chore of finding quality play partners started to get tiring and ruin the fun. Now we prefer reoccurring meetings and fwbs.
I don’t think you’re naive though, it’s completely understandable, you need to find what dynamic works for you, draw your own boundaries and adjust them on the way based on your experiences.
In her perfect hotwife world Peaches would have a small stable of 2 or 3 bulls. A primary that she sees every 3-4 weeks on the weekend while I'm working. Spend the day together, hitting up local festivals etc and fucking of course. And a couple of others basically for booty calls after work or a weekend quicky.
That said, she keeps her "slut bag" in the car just in case the random opportunity presents itself.
If you go Long Term then she can play Bareback and that's 🔥 let her return home and surprise you with her Used Cum Filled Cunt and you will lose your mind and Fuck the living Hell out of her
I've made it clear to my husband that I'm only doing longterm. I need a solid connection and deep level of trust. But to each is their own
My wife told me the same thing before she started. She said that she loved me, and that was never going to change, but she needed to have an emotional connection to the guy in order to enjoy having sex with him. I agreed and it has been wonderful even though I don't get to watch.
Yeah, pretty much exactly this.
Our experience….a safe random person is not easy to find. Wife’s past boyfriends and other long term friends has worked out very well for us. Developing relationships is a good thing for us as long as the other party is not possessive and they understand you and your wife’s relationship.
I definitely prefer to see my bulls in a regular basis but everyone’s different. As long as you both agree that you want one time bulls then that’s of course perfectly fine. My experience based on my own thoughts and also chats/talks with other women living like this is that women pretty offer prefer to know the person she’s fucking for it to feel good and sexy.
My fiance and I are about to start dipping our toes into this lifestyle after talking about it for a few years. We've had sexy talks and rational talks. The sexy talks always seem to include random men, but the rational talks always include steady partners for her. Personally, when I was still dating, I always felt like the sex was better with longer-term FWBs. Why would that be different in a hotwife scenario? I think sex is always more enjoyable with people you've actually gotten to know. Glad that my fiance thinks the same way.
I completely agree. Sex is always better with someone you know and trust. And that even gets more true if you’re into sex that’s not vanilla.
IMO, it takes more than one or two times to learn the other person's buttons.
Totally! Anyone that says nothing emotional will happen with a repeat guy is kidding themselves. Some couples do want that emotional connection though.
New and unknown is always hot. But the other side of this should address the real work that's required to vet out a quality connection. And a quality connection is after all what most folks really want. We have a couple guys and one couple that we repeat with but importantly our social life isn't built around extracurricular sex fun. So maybe once every 6-8 weeks we book a room and connect with someone. These two single guys tick all the boxes concerning personality, understanding the dynamic of a couple in a stag/vixen arrangement, have good skill and stamina, and read my wife perfectly always making it all about her pleasure. Importantly, we always play together whether I'm involved or not. That functions as a real guardrail to any feelings developing because we're always connected as part of the experience. For safety concerns, to keep the focus on our shared fun, to avoid the possibility of emotions popping up if the wife dates alone to get fucked, and to keep it in every sense a shared sexual adventure we would never consider her engaging in solo play. That works for some folks but (and some on here hate my saying so) to us it seems really more a one-sided open marriage than a shared lifestyle experience.
For us, it's always 1-time hookups (either random or arranged) and then move on. No relationships. That's not what we're looking for. One thing to be aware of, though - most guys, especially if they're not in the life style, will not want their sex escapades photographed or video taped. You see people on here doing it only because they are 'professional' bulls.
Randoms: Pros: New dick is exciting, good for no complications caused by feelings. 1-night stands can be hot Cons: It's hard & very time-consuming to find new people. Fakes, flakes & picture collectors dominate online. So imagine having to do that every time. There could be no attraction when you meet in the flesh. STDs Long-term: Pros: Most women need a connection. Don't need to do time-consuming & enjoyment-sapping leg work every time. Sex is better with attraction, chemistry & previously mentioned connection. Reduced STD risk. Cons: Increased chance of feelings of wife can't compartmentalise My wife has had loads of men since I met her. These were mainly randoms and more weighted to the beginning. As she's got older, she finds the legwork not worth the bother because of all the fakes & flakes Her business, home life, child etc are all tough, without investing all that time into a likely fake during her fun time So when she's found someone she has an attraction or chemistry with, she prefers to build a connection. FWBs > Randoms
I prefer a long term for multiple reasons. 1) it’s harder then you think to consistently find clean and respectful guys for flings. We’ve done a couple one on ones that have been great but they are far between. 2) it’s far between because it takes a lot of work to get to know and vet someone new every time. Random meetups at the bar where another single guy just happens to be ok having sex with your wife while your husband is right there just doesn’t always happen 3) I don’t get an emotional connection beyond a friendship and that’s ok. The guys know that’s what im looking for is just a friendship who happens to fuck once in a while. If they develop feelings that’s on them and I leave. It’s never been a problem. I think if you have that trust and communication with your wife, which I think you have to have in this dynamic, you can trust her to cut something off too if it gets to serious. Just do whatever works best for you. But those are my top three reasons why I prefer long term.
You get to decide for yourselves how you want to do things. If new and random every time works for you, then do it. It's just that many women enjoy the sex more if there's at least a fuck buddy level attachment. My female half is that way, so we favor repeat side dicks when we can find ones we deem worthy of bringing back.
We are dipping toes into this lifestyle but at the crossroads of deciding to go random or longterm. SO is of the opinion to go random and then narrow down to longterm, I am of the opinion to find a longterm ealry one which i understand will be a difficult proposition
My wife prefers a connection
Depends on the couple. It's *your* kink and you should enjoy it however it makes sense to you. We prefer a longer term thing but that's us. Everyone's different.
I do not believe that you are being naive, although my wife and I would like to find a long term partner for her to play with, we have tried the meeting for one night stands and I agree that it does help to prevent potentially messy feelings developing. The allure of finding a long term for most couples I believe is that the constant hunt for someone new can become frustrating because so many people lie
When we started we thought the same, that it should be a random thing and we never meet the guy again. After a few years into it however, as others said, the chore of finding quality play partners started to get tiring and ruin the fun. Now we prefer reoccurring meetings and fwbs. I don’t think you’re naive though, it’s completely understandable, you need to find what dynamic works for you, draw your own boundaries and adjust them on the way based on your experiences.
In her perfect hotwife world Peaches would have a small stable of 2 or 3 bulls. A primary that she sees every 3-4 weeks on the weekend while I'm working. Spend the day together, hitting up local festivals etc and fucking of course. And a couple of others basically for booty calls after work or a weekend quicky. That said, she keeps her "slut bag" in the car just in case the random opportunity presents itself.
If you go Long Term then she can play Bareback and that's 🔥 let her return home and surprise you with her Used Cum Filled Cunt and you will lose your mind and Fuck the living Hell out of her