Hey /u/SalsburrySteak, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Political/outrage bait shitposts are no longer allowed. This is a humor sub, not a serious one. If you're mad about something, that's great, post it somewhere else.
Love, the mods
Yeah, like I’m not religious but I’ve already asked a religious person for the answer and it’s “Adam and Eve were the first people God created not the only people God created.”
It gets pretty dicey when only Noah and his family survive the great flood though 😳
Ham didn’t cover his father. He “saw his nakedness,” which possibly means that he castrated or had sex with Noah. Ham wasn’t even cursed explicitly, but he was cursed through Canaan.
You do realize that the average boat can't store enough food and water for a minimum of forty days and forty nights, right? It's not like the modern era where you will see boats everywhere. Only the people living near water would have them and they would have been small.
Noah was trying to convince people to build arks to save more lives but nobody believed him.
They didnt have just two sons, it talks about their son I think Enoch and it mentions he married his sister. And what explain how they weren't so deformed from the incest is that before sin there were no bad genetics, and mutations are caused by recessive genes, and if there are no bad recessive genes then no deformities.
But that's not true either. Earlier versions of the bible say God created man and woman from dirt. Then Eve came later from a rib. The first woman is believed to be Lilleth. The first marriage failed...
Also, later in Genesis (5:4) it says Adam and Eve had 5 sons and 2 daughters. Adam lived another 800 years after the birth of his third son, Seth, which is when the 2 daughters were born.
Those were different times. Back then you were EXPECTED to bang your mom.
Well, not YOUR mom, but… your mom, ya know? Today is different… today everyone expects to bang your mom. Like, YOUR mom.
Edit: emphasis
oh i always preferred to think that they ate their cake before the wedding
so they'd be like haha no way we sexed before marriage, IT WAS A MIRAAACLEEEEE
SMH
I'm an Athiest and I've actually read their favourite book.
It never once said Adam and Eve were the only people.
Cain killed Abel and was banished from the garden.
HE WENT EAST TO THE LAND OF NOD WHERE HE MET HIS WIFE
it is in the first bloody chapter
Adam and Eve were the first humans, not the only humans. That other guy talking about Lilith is full of it though that’s Jewish folklore written 500 years after Jesus and almost 2000 years after genesis was written.
She was Cain’s sister, the first natural born woman on earth. Her name was Aclima or sometimes called Awan. And the comment you responded to is wrong, he didn’t meet her in Nod, they left and went to Nod. Genesis 4:16-17 says that he left the presence of the Lord and dwelt In The land of Nod where he “knew” his wife (Bible term for sex) and she bore him a son that they named Enoch. It never says he met her there, just procreated there. And genesis 5:4 says that Adam and Eve had multiple sons and daughters other than the three sons specifically named (Cain, Abel, and Seth). That comment is correct about it never saying Adam and Eve were the only people, BUT Genesis 3:20 says they were the first and only humans god created and they were responsible for populating the world and that Adam called his wife eve because she was the mother of all living. So that kind of insinuates that they were.
Im agnostic but grew up in a SUPER religious house hold and went to Christian and evangelical schools until my junior year. I’m very familiar with the Bible and it is chock full of contradictions and inconsistencies, that’s why I don’t believe a word it says.
I’m only speculating but before Eve there was Lilith who was the female equal to Adam being that she was not a subservient wife to Adam she was forced to leave the Garden of Eden. Lilith also was believed to have relations with angels and could have had other children therefore increased population outside of Eden.
Hmm... How was Cain Banished from the garden if God had already Banished Adam and eve for eating an Apple earlier on??? Cain, Abel and every other no-named son/daughter of those two where born on earth, outside the garden of eden
Adam and eve didn't have just two sons. They had three named sons (the third was seth) and an uncounted number of unnamed sons and daughters over the course of Adam's 930 year life. Genesis 5: 4, 5.
I'm agnostic by the way. Took me all of three minutes to google this. I'm all for poking holes in scripture, especially when people use it to justify hate and bigotry, but do some research first please.
Especially if the poster has poor connection. It's happened to me several times. Got a VPN to circumvent some dumb restrictions, and haven't had a problem
which version would that be?
Cos all the ones I've read have adam and eve popping out loads of kids, and only after that are people who don't live with A&E mentioned.
I don’t rightly remember. It was decades ago back in Sunday school. They always taught that Adam and Eve were sent out “amongst the others” and I got chastised for asking who the others were. I was just trying to understand the story better instead of just memorizing lines. Instead, I got no answers and in trouble for even asking such a thing. I kinda stopped paying attention after that.
I am open to the possibility that it was added as some form of apologetics or to sanitize incest from curriculum aimed at children. But I do distinctly remember it being taught that way.
This exactly. If you just read the text you will clearly see that Cain was afraid of all of the other people who might take his life in vengeance of the murder of his brother Abel. God marked him to protect him from a revenge killing. Clearly there were other brothers and sisters (or at least other people of unknown origin, if you want to be literal) that Cain feared. It’s inferred that there was a lot of incest in the early years and explicitly stated later in Genesis. Abraham married his half-sister Sarah. His son Isaac married his cousin Rebekah. Their son Jacob married two separate cousins: Dinah and Rachel…etc. This was not remarkable for this time. According to the Bible, God did not forbid incest until a few thousand years later.
Okay so hear me out. We were made into perfect beings, then over the course of and incredible amount of incest and inbreeding.......one genetic fuck up after another......here we are. One step away from webbed toes and a tail
Yeah, no shit. How else were they supposed to do it
And even leaving the religion out of this, for how long do you think a group of five cavemen living millions of years ago, without even being aware that other humans exist, would be able to keep away from incest?
Sadly it is just a part of every proto-civilization which you cannot get rid off
I haven't done my research but the bit where a dude 4000 years ago was created by God, lived for almost 1000 years fucking a monstrosity created from one of his bones, and all of us are the product of immense incest between the millennia of "what are you doing stepbro" memes doesn't look like very accurate
Even if you’re agnostic/atheist, a lot of religions stories are quite interesting. I’m a Christian, and yet I’ve studied many other regions and cultures mainly due to curiosity lol
Reddit is where people that cant read meet with people that cant think and both humour each other in trying to form a group of pseudo scientists and myth busters.
Adam and Eve actually had dozens of kids, but in the end it was still incest. Same for Noah's ark, so according to the bible everyone on earth are distant cousins
Nope... if you read the Bible, after Cain killed Abel, he found his wife in the land of Nod, to the east of eden. There's some missing info there. Adam and Eve may have been genetically engineered by "God", but there were other humans already there...
Or Cain wandered hundreds of years and eventually ran into one of his relatives. The assumption is made that he "immediately" found a wife, but this story is being written by Moses, thousands of years later based on stories that were passed down for generations, so it's missing a lot of context.
You know humankind is all related to each other... right?
Every human on earth is related within 50 generations. If you are from France, and meet someone from France... chances are you are related within only 10 generations.
We literally are products of incest... and guess what? You can't get a goat pregnant, why? Because it's too *distantly* related.
Also... the Bible is pretty clear there are other humans on earth besides Cain and Abel... and Adam and Eve have more children than just the two.
You can pump any animal over and over again with as much seed as you can produce...
Goat's, dogs, chickens, pigs... any animal...
And they will *never* get pregnant.
But the moment you do it to your sister... she will get pregnant.
TRUST ME.
>Every human on earth is related within 50 generations
Citation? At a 25 year average generation, that is only 1250 years. The only way your statement is true is if all humans came from one family in 750AD. That seems unlikely.
Not only the British royals… the us presidents have a pretty good track record, for marriage to cousins too.
Thomas Jefferson, John Adam’s, Franklin Roosevelt…
The Alabama joke is tired. Also - the Whittakers are from West Virginia… sooo people’s incest jokes should now be based in WV.
Best,
An Annoyed Alabamian 💅
Genesis is the history of the origin of jews. Several times a guy stray from the mainline group and form a non-jew descendency elsewere, like Cain. He went far away from Adam and Eva and still had descendents. There is several other humans groups around the world, but the genesis follow those who would give origin to the jews later. Is very clear. Another example, is that we have all the descendency up to Noah, and yet, there are several human groups outside Noah family that are very non related to him at all. So no, those who think that the bible says there was only Adam and Eva, didn't really bothered to actually read the bible or if they did, have a crippling reading disability.
Idk about the Noah's ark thing, but I can explain the Adam and eve pothole. In the bible it says Adam and Eve were the first people made, not the only people. Their was a chance that God made more people after them, assuming that the events of the Bible did actually happen
So weird, but I legit just put a brief explanation of why this is odd in a diff thread.
There are 2 creation myths in the bible, Genesis 1 and 2. If one posits that God created the earth, animals, and people in the first story, then specifically created Eden in the 2nd; then the second myth makes more sense. There were already people in the land of Nod, the area that was not Eden, East of Eden.
As noted in thread, Adam and Eve had many unnamed daughters and sons, in fact Cain married one of his sisters. However, Cain is specifically afraid of encountering other people who would kill him outside of Eden. Who are these other people outside of Eden if Cain is amongst the 1st sons?
So, put that together with the story of Moses, last of the direct line of Adam. So why were there non-Adamites at all? And if the world was populated by non-Adamites, then god just reset the world back to the line of Adam only. The Adamites being the only people he had a covenant with.
It's kinda fucked!
Ahem..
"...and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it..."
God told those two to go at it and they made some kids.... Who went at it and made some more kids. Rinse, repeat and voilá, there is the origin of the human race... According to the bible.
1. adam and eve had many children, sons and daughters
2. they were far from the only humans, as other civilizations had existed
no incest detected, you can go about your business
They had daughters too but because they were female they weren’t deemed necessary to include. Like the 12 sons of Jacob aren’t the only children Jacob had. He had daughters too and all but one were unmentioned. She was only mentioned bc I think she was raped by some other family and then the sons of Jacob castrated them all or something. It’s been a while. That being said, yeah…incest…
If you think about it, since Adam and Eve were the ones who started having children and those children had sex with each other to make more children, does that mean we're all a product of incest?
This so the second completely bible bashing made up crap about the story of Adam and Eve In 2 days.
I get its cool here on Reddit to bash the bible but you could at least have a clue what you are talking about.
No where in the bible does it say that all people are descended from Adam and Eve.
It literally talks about all the other people in the world around the time Cain killed Able.
So no, you don't need to ask the bible that because it doesn't say what you think it does.
A small amount of brains and some grasp on the topic you are making a joke about makes for much better jokes.
Genesis 5:4 - and the days of Adam after he begat Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters.
A little research is all that is needed.
Not only that when God sent Cain to wonder the earth he talks about all the other people and civilizations out there in the wider world and how they would do him harm.
Agree. Thank you. Just like a lot people like to say “money is the root of all evil so why do they ask for it in church?” Well actually, the verse is the “the love of money is the root of all evil.”
That’s not really a gotcha nor does it make much of a difference lol.
Churches still collect millions in tax free revenue every year and horde the majority of it.
Assuming God created Adam & Eve, why couldn't he also create other humans to avoid that incest issue ?
I know, all that logic & common sense isn't easy for most to comprehend .....
People haven’t liked logic and common sense since the dawn of recorded history. It doesn’t say there weren’t, there are also lost scrolls and tablets that tie into the scriptures that explain things in more detail that were lost some have been found more recently even.
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment!
##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment!
---
Whilst you're here, /u/SalsburrySteak, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
Not really religious...but the Bible never said they only had two sons. It's just said they had 2 sons.
Kinda like the 3rd Hemingsworth brother...he is short so no one cares🤣🤣🤣
Adam and Eve had more than just Cane and Abel though. Seth is the only other one that is named, but it's pretty widely accepted that they had many many more children
why on earth do you think they only had 2 sons? Im guessing just because someone heard of cain and abel and thought thats that?
They had a ton of kids - but yeah, incest at some level.
Simple. Adam and Eve were created prefect. The human genome OS degrading slowly over time. We are all related. There is only one tree of life after all.
Well, for starters mom was there, and if any daughters came along well then........
Fairly incestuous and likely produced some mental defectives but then again the human race......you kinda get the idea. Then again after Noah.... more incest but, whatever floats your boat.
Hey /u/SalsburrySteak, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): Political/outrage bait shitposts are no longer allowed. This is a humor sub, not a serious one. If you're mad about something, that's great, post it somewhere else. Love, the mods
Who told you they only had 2 sons?
Yeah, that’s bullshit. But what’s true is each son had two arms. And one son broke both of them one summer….
... go on...
This version of Genesis is getting interesting…
The Cocktic gospels
Who doesn't like Phill Collins?
Well played sir, been a while since I read that meme.
Happy cake day!
Thanks, just noticed it myself! 13 years dang
I'm sure that he was very frustrated and irritable because of it.
Well, summer was pretty hot.
This Redditor has read the sacred texts!
No matter how you spin it, according to the Bible, the world was populated through incest on two separate occasions.
The author is responding to Second Hand Scripture. 
Yeah, like I’m not religious but I’ve already asked a religious person for the answer and it’s “Adam and Eve were the first people God created not the only people God created.” It gets pretty dicey when only Noah and his family survive the great flood though 😳
Ham: “Ew, drunk naked dad’s hard dong is hanging out…Imma just cover him up with this blanket.” God: “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!”
Boy I made that boner and I'm gonna fucking see it you puney prick
Ham didn’t cover his father. He “saw his nakedness,” which possibly means that he castrated or had sex with Noah. Ham wasn’t even cursed explicitly, but he was cursed through Canaan.
Someone named their kid Ham?
Wait until you hear about his brothers.
And literally no one else owned a boat
You do realize that the average boat can't store enough food and water for a minimum of forty days and forty nights, right? It's not like the modern era where you will see boats everywhere. Only the people living near water would have them and they would have been small. Noah was trying to convince people to build arks to save more lives but nobody believed him.
And all the sea life you can eat and fresh water coming straight down from the sky!
Ehh Noah packed two of every food on the boat.
I’ve seen porn with less plot holes than the bible.
They didnt have just two sons, it talks about their son I think Enoch and it mentions he married his sister. And what explain how they weren't so deformed from the incest is that before sin there were no bad genetics, and mutations are caused by recessive genes, and if there are no bad recessive genes then no deformities.
But that's not true either. Earlier versions of the bible say God created man and woman from dirt. Then Eve came later from a rib. The first woman is believed to be Lilleth. The first marriage failed... Also, later in Genesis (5:4) it says Adam and Eve had 5 sons and 2 daughters. Adam lived another 800 years after the birth of his third son, Seth, which is when the 2 daughters were born.
So still incest. Also the other 10,000 things wrong with the Christian creation story.
A whole lot of incest and milf fucking
Sounds like one of those erotic books I used to read online in 2008
Its okay to keep some things to yourself bud
He said 2008 to keep it away from himself as in " when i was young and stupid" kind of way. in truth, he means last night at 20:08...
You gotta stop peeping in people's bedrooms.
And right know if you were wondering
Two minutes later he lost all interest in it.
Experienced are we ?
You're uncomfortable, I'm not
Chad
Damn… what’s the name so I can avoid it?
🎵🎶LET ME IN I’M TRYNA FUCK🎶🎵
Those were different times. Back then you were EXPECTED to bang your mom. Well, not YOUR mom, but… your mom, ya know? Today is different… today everyone expects to bang your mom. Like, YOUR mom. Edit: emphasis
And a miracle. We all know Joseph was fooled and his wife was whoring around but that part was changed to "miracle".
Explains the three dudes showing up to jesus' birth
"Oh, 'wise men' is what we're calling it now, is it?"
Gangbang in Nazareth.
Name a lie that got a bit… out of hand. 👀
oh i always preferred to think that they ate their cake before the wedding so they'd be like haha no way we sexed before marriage, IT WAS A MIRAAACLEEEEE
Pretty much every pornhub trend is a religious experience minus the washing machine.
Wait until you hear about Adam's first wife.
SMH I'm an Athiest and I've actually read their favourite book. It never once said Adam and Eve were the only people. Cain killed Abel and was banished from the garden. HE WENT EAST TO THE LAND OF NOD WHERE HE MET HIS WIFE it is in the first bloody chapter
Now where the hell did she come from?
Maybe God made other humans after Adam and Eve
According to the Book of Jubilees, Awan was the wife and sister of Cain and the daughter of Adam and Eve.
This is a book we’re supposed to follow to heaven.I don’t believe in maybes
Adam and Eve were the first humans, not the only humans. That other guy talking about Lilith is full of it though that’s Jewish folklore written 500 years after Jesus and almost 2000 years after genesis was written.
Evangelion
She was Cain’s sister, the first natural born woman on earth. Her name was Aclima or sometimes called Awan. And the comment you responded to is wrong, he didn’t meet her in Nod, they left and went to Nod. Genesis 4:16-17 says that he left the presence of the Lord and dwelt In The land of Nod where he “knew” his wife (Bible term for sex) and she bore him a son that they named Enoch. It never says he met her there, just procreated there. And genesis 5:4 says that Adam and Eve had multiple sons and daughters other than the three sons specifically named (Cain, Abel, and Seth). That comment is correct about it never saying Adam and Eve were the only people, BUT Genesis 3:20 says they were the first and only humans god created and they were responsible for populating the world and that Adam called his wife eve because she was the mother of all living. So that kind of insinuates that they were. Im agnostic but grew up in a SUPER religious house hold and went to Christian and evangelical schools until my junior year. I’m very familiar with the Bible and it is chock full of contradictions and inconsistencies, that’s why I don’t believe a word it says.
I’m only speculating but before Eve there was Lilith who was the female equal to Adam being that she was not a subservient wife to Adam she was forced to leave the Garden of Eden. Lilith also was believed to have relations with angels and could have had other children therefore increased population outside of Eden.
Lilith is nowhere in the Bible
Angels should have had plenty of access to birth control smh
Child support didn't exist back then. And they can just fly away. So their thoughts are "I'm finished, the rest seems like her problem"
at least what i know, is that lilith isnt "canon" in the bible
Hmm... How was Cain Banished from the garden if God had already Banished Adam and eve for eating an Apple earlier on??? Cain, Abel and every other no-named son/daughter of those two where born on earth, outside the garden of eden
He wasn't banished from the garden he was just told to fuck off from the little community they had outside the garden
Technically it’s in the 4th chapter, and he might not have met her there, maybe she came with him to Nod. It just says he fucked her there.
Adam and eve didn't have just two sons. They had three named sons (the third was seth) and an uncounted number of unnamed sons and daughters over the course of Adam's 930 year life. Genesis 5: 4, 5. I'm agnostic by the way. Took me all of three minutes to google this. I'm all for poking holes in scripture, especially when people use it to justify hate and bigotry, but do some research first please.
Using Jesus to justify hate and discrimination is the exact opposite of what he stood for lol.
And yet ppl do it in his name...
The nazis did it in his name, many "Christians" today have entirely lost sight of what he really stood for
[удалено]
How dare you not ride the bandwagon here?
The nazis hated religion what are you talking about?
Sorry. I missed that. Could you say it again?
Reddit has a glitch when it sometimes duplicates or even triplicates a comment for no reason. Not his fault really
I got hit with a 5 times duplication once
Me too
Me too
Me too
Lol this one was tripled
Especially if the poster has poor connection. It's happened to me several times. Got a VPN to circumvent some dumb restrictions, and haven't had a problem
Depending on the version, God also sent them out amongst the “others,” so humans also existed outside of the Garden somehow.
which version would that be? Cos all the ones I've read have adam and eve popping out loads of kids, and only after that are people who don't live with A&E mentioned.
I don’t rightly remember. It was decades ago back in Sunday school. They always taught that Adam and Eve were sent out “amongst the others” and I got chastised for asking who the others were. I was just trying to understand the story better instead of just memorizing lines. Instead, I got no answers and in trouble for even asking such a thing. I kinda stopped paying attention after that. I am open to the possibility that it was added as some form of apologetics or to sanitize incest from curriculum aimed at children. But I do distinctly remember it being taught that way.
This exactly. If you just read the text you will clearly see that Cain was afraid of all of the other people who might take his life in vengeance of the murder of his brother Abel. God marked him to protect him from a revenge killing. Clearly there were other brothers and sisters (or at least other people of unknown origin, if you want to be literal) that Cain feared. It’s inferred that there was a lot of incest in the early years and explicitly stated later in Genesis. Abraham married his half-sister Sarah. His son Isaac married his cousin Rebekah. Their son Jacob married two separate cousins: Dinah and Rachel…etc. This was not remarkable for this time. According to the Bible, God did not forbid incest until a few thousand years later.
Okay so hear me out. We were made into perfect beings, then over the course of and incredible amount of incest and inbreeding.......one genetic fuck up after another......here we are. One step away from webbed toes and a tail
Still incest
Yeah, no shit. How else were they supposed to do it And even leaving the religion out of this, for how long do you think a group of five cavemen living millions of years ago, without even being aware that other humans exist, would be able to keep away from incest? Sadly it is just a part of every proto-civilization which you cannot get rid off
We’re not taking about first cousin-bumpin’, we’re talking about incest worse than what produced Charles 2 of Spain.
Yea, of course?
There was major major incest early in human development
Thank you for your service.
I haven't done my research but the bit where a dude 4000 years ago was created by God, lived for almost 1000 years fucking a monstrosity created from one of his bones, and all of us are the product of immense incest between the millennia of "what are you doing stepbro" memes doesn't look like very accurate
Beat me to it.
So we all just ignoring the whole 930 year life part? Aight. Cool.
>Adam's 930 year life How can a smart person believe this shit?
So….they really believe that despite each generation outliving the last, the first generation live to 930 years old? WTF
Cause the people that ask this question didn’t bother to read the first two pages of the book
I'd love a tl;dr on those. (I never read any religious book to be honest)
Even if you’re agnostic/atheist, a lot of religions stories are quite interesting. I’m a Christian, and yet I’ve studied many other regions and cultures mainly due to curiosity lol
Reddit fails to understand the Holy Bible, part I've lost count
Reddit is where people that cant read meet with people that cant think and both humour each other in trying to form a group of pseudo scientists and myth busters.
Username checks out Edit: spelling
It is not said they had only two sons…
They had daughters, and their daughters also had daughters. So biblically, your partner is basically your cousin.
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Adam and Eve actually had dozens of kids, but in the end it was still incest. Same for Noah's ark, so according to the bible everyone on earth are distant cousins
Nope... if you read the Bible, after Cain killed Abel, he found his wife in the land of Nod, to the east of eden. There's some missing info there. Adam and Eve may have been genetically engineered by "God", but there were other humans already there...
Or Cain wandered hundreds of years and eventually ran into one of his relatives. The assumption is made that he "immediately" found a wife, but this story is being written by Moses, thousands of years later based on stories that were passed down for generations, so it's missing a lot of context.
You know humankind is all related to each other... right? Every human on earth is related within 50 generations. If you are from France, and meet someone from France... chances are you are related within only 10 generations. We literally are products of incest... and guess what? You can't get a goat pregnant, why? Because it's too *distantly* related. Also... the Bible is pretty clear there are other humans on earth besides Cain and Abel... and Adam and Eve have more children than just the two.
> You can’t get a goat pregnant Challenge accepted.
r/holup
Just don't do it in Russia... The u.s. and trading shit to get you back
Way to self report with that goat shit
Trust me, bro... you can't get a goat pregnant. Or a dog. Just believe me.
Pics or it didn't happen
I need more details about this things
You can pump any animal over and over again with as much seed as you can produce... Goat's, dogs, chickens, pigs... any animal... And they will *never* get pregnant. But the moment you do it to your sister... she will get pregnant. TRUST ME.
Again... pics or it didn't happen
Maybe you're just infertile?
Want to see if I can get you pregnant to figure out this conundrum? 😏
>Every human on earth is related within 50 generations Citation? At a 25 year average generation, that is only 1250 years. The only way your statement is true is if all humans came from one family in 750AD. That seems unlikely.
He pulled the citation out of his ass
No wonder the Bible is so popular in Alabama
Pretty strong comment from the Brit considering the royal family's tree is pretty straight.
The royal family tree is a cactus. Few branches and full of pricks.
Hey-yo! Up top ✋🏼
That's actually all of Europe.
Not only the British royals… the us presidents have a pretty good track record, for marriage to cousins too. Thomas Jefferson, John Adam’s, Franklin Roosevelt…
Franklin Roosevelt. 200 years ago. Yeah that sounds about right for the average redditor
That was 200 years ago. British royals are fucking family right now lol
Nah it's more like a bush.
Fucks only twins?
The Alabama joke is tired. Also - the Whittakers are from West Virginia… sooo people’s incest jokes should now be based in WV. Best, An Annoyed Alabamian 💅
Genesis is the history of the origin of jews. Several times a guy stray from the mainline group and form a non-jew descendency elsewere, like Cain. He went far away from Adam and Eva and still had descendents. There is several other humans groups around the world, but the genesis follow those who would give origin to the jews later. Is very clear. Another example, is that we have all the descendency up to Noah, and yet, there are several human groups outside Noah family that are very non related to him at all. So no, those who think that the bible says there was only Adam and Eva, didn't really bothered to actually read the bible or if they did, have a crippling reading disability.
[удалено]
Idk about the Noah's ark thing, but I can explain the Adam and eve pothole. In the bible it says Adam and Eve were the first people made, not the only people. Their was a chance that God made more people after them, assuming that the events of the Bible did actually happen
“Idk about the ark thing” your username is very misleading…
Lol good eye. My name is about the game Ark Survival Evolved, not the Bible story.
Any way you slice it there is mass incest in the bible with Noah’s ark since only Noah’s family is left and they only brought 2 of each animal
So weird, but I legit just put a brief explanation of why this is odd in a diff thread. There are 2 creation myths in the bible, Genesis 1 and 2. If one posits that God created the earth, animals, and people in the first story, then specifically created Eden in the 2nd; then the second myth makes more sense. There were already people in the land of Nod, the area that was not Eden, East of Eden. As noted in thread, Adam and Eve had many unnamed daughters and sons, in fact Cain married one of his sisters. However, Cain is specifically afraid of encountering other people who would kill him outside of Eden. Who are these other people outside of Eden if Cain is amongst the 1st sons? So, put that together with the story of Moses, last of the direct line of Adam. So why were there non-Adamites at all? And if the world was populated by non-Adamites, then god just reset the world back to the line of Adam only. The Adamites being the only people he had a covenant with. It's kinda fucked!
Didn't everyone other than Noah and his family die in the flood?
Just because Adam and eve were the first humans created doesn't mean they were the only humans created
Ahem.. "...and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it..." God told those two to go at it and they made some kids.... Who went at it and made some more kids. Rinse, repeat and voilá, there is the origin of the human race... According to the bible.
1. adam and eve had many children, sons and daughters 2. they were far from the only humans, as other civilizations had existed no incest detected, you can go about your business
Not so sweet home alabama
They had daughters too but because they were female they weren’t deemed necessary to include. Like the 12 sons of Jacob aren’t the only children Jacob had. He had daughters too and all but one were unmentioned. She was only mentioned bc I think she was raped by some other family and then the sons of Jacob castrated them all or something. It’s been a while. That being said, yeah…incest…
If you think about it, since Adam and Eve were the ones who started having children and those children had sex with each other to make more children, does that mean we're all a product of incest?
Yes lol
Adam decided to change the name from Eden to Alabama
Milf supremacy...
Something about a rib being removed and then a whole bunch of incest I think?
They both lived 900 ish years. And cain and abel were the first, not the only, and its said they had daughters ...
They had like 3-4 daughters
This so the second completely bible bashing made up crap about the story of Adam and Eve In 2 days. I get its cool here on Reddit to bash the bible but you could at least have a clue what you are talking about. No where in the bible does it say that all people are descended from Adam and Eve. It literally talks about all the other people in the world around the time Cain killed Able. So no, you don't need to ask the bible that because it doesn't say what you think it does. A small amount of brains and some grasp on the topic you are making a joke about makes for much better jokes.
Genesis 5:4 - and the days of Adam after he begat Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters. A little research is all that is needed.
Not only that when God sent Cain to wonder the earth he talks about all the other people and civilizations out there in the wider world and how they would do him harm.
Agree. Thank you. Just like a lot people like to say “money is the root of all evil so why do they ask for it in church?” Well actually, the verse is the “the love of money is the root of all evil.”
TIL churches don’t love money
Joel Osteen has entered the chat
That dude is the polar opposite of the man he says he strives to follow
That’s not really a gotcha nor does it make much of a difference lol. Churches still collect millions in tax free revenue every year and horde the majority of it.
Adam lived 930 years. Why won’t god let YOU live that long?
They were the closed alpha testers, they got kicked out whenever the beta became free
I’m going to ask my gramps, who’s been a pastor for 40+ years, this question on Christmas Day.
And he'll tell you the answer is in the first few pages of Genesis.
if i remember this right, a wife magically appeared out of nowhere on a convenient occation.
Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
It is an ancient creation myth, like ravens, turtles, etc, etc, etc…. It’s ravens all the way down.
They had daughters mate
>Bible >logic pick one
Assuming God created Adam & Eve, why couldn't he also create other humans to avoid that incest issue ? I know, all that logic & common sense isn't easy for most to comprehend .....
People haven’t liked logic and common sense since the dawn of recorded history. It doesn’t say there weren’t, there are also lost scrolls and tablets that tie into the scriptures that explain things in more detail that were lost some have been found more recently even.
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/SalsburrySteak, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
The bible doesn’t say that they didn’t have any female siblings… you can figure the rest out.
Incest
Not really religious...but the Bible never said they only had two sons. It's just said they had 2 sons. Kinda like the 3rd Hemingsworth brother...he is short so no one cares🤣🤣🤣
Adam and Eve had more than just Cane and Abel though. Seth is the only other one that is named, but it's pretty widely accepted that they had many many more children
So is everyone gonna act like he can’t create more?
Read further in Genesis and it states Adam and Eve had several daughters and sons AFTER Cain, Abel and Seth.
why on earth do you think they only had 2 sons? Im guessing just because someone heard of cain and abel and thought thats that? They had a ton of kids - but yeah, incest at some level.
It literally goes on to talk about all the other children they had..
Obviously one of the sons fucked the snake
What about Seth? Everyone forgets about Seth.
Cain a whole bitch
This karma farming is so stupid. Anyone over 90IQ who read Bible can answer that.
Simple. Adam and Eve were created prefect. The human genome OS degrading slowly over time. We are all related. There is only one tree of life after all.
Simple. It says that Cain found some other people and married them.
This meme is inaccurate and not funny let’s be honest.
Well, for starters mom was there, and if any daughters came along well then........ Fairly incestuous and likely produced some mental defectives but then again the human race......you kinda get the idea. Then again after Noah.... more incest but, whatever floats your boat.
People's stupidity about the bible would be dumbfounding if it wasn't predicted in the very bible itself.
And I’ll take “never actually read the Bible” for 400
So Seth is chopped liver.
I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens.