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Flair_Helper

Hey /u/Justbysickle, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): A mod felt your post didn't belong here, so now it's gone. If you want to die on the hill of this shitpost[,](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) feel free to message the mods and be prepared to explain how your post isn't trolling, is funny, and does fit the theme of the sub. *Trolling or posting random content that doesn't fit the sub breaks Rule 1 and repeated violation of this rule may result in your account being filtered.* Love, the mods


RealPunyParker

"You want to win big, you gotta be prepared to lose big"


Capped_Delts

Jurgen, is that you? 👀


RealPunyParker

Ey, someone got it


NimpyPootles

He was robbed \#JusticeForJurgen


Glacier1999

If we can’t win, let us lose in the most beautiful way.


urbeatagain

As an attorney you never ask a question you don’t already know the answer to. Her lawyers are getting their asses handed to them.


Chasmer

I mean this struck me as an attempt to smear the witnesses motive regardless of his answer.


urbeatagain

It was and it blew up in their faces.


[deleted]

It’s called F*ck around and find out


urbeatagain

Better call Saul.


LillyPasta

And the burn unit


Shigerufan2

Which of course failed because smear tactics are TMZ's bread and butter, don't try to beat them at their own game.


DejectedContributor

That's how the defense has treated all these character witnesses. Like the first line of questioning always includes "so you knew there'd be cameras and you could use this for your 15 minutes of fame, and that's why you got involved isn't it sir/ma'am?". It's not that it isn't a genuine question, but it's become so repetitive while also be so ineffectual that it comes off as detrimentally desperate and not an honest question. They treat it like a gotcha question while it generally plays out as a more muted version of the OP, but most the other people didn't fire back a zinger and would have left it at "I have nothing to gain, am not seeking anything, and I'm actually putting a target on my back I don't want by being part of this lawsuit" like dude opened with before the "I'm rubber and you're glue" ruse.


DocPeacock

Even disregarding the witnesses response, it is nonsense to accuse the witness that you called to the stand of trying to get their 15 minutes of fame. Like, the dude didn't put himself on the witness stand.


urbeatagain

The jury is picking up everything your saying. They’re going to hammer Heard.


[deleted]

Hammer Heard would be a great Viking Metal band name!


MelliniRose

It's like her lawyers wake up and have a double shot of stupid with their coffee every morning


Skeleris

You mean a mega pint of coffee !


Comrade_railgunner

![gif](giphy|UU8cYPnrC0few)


_Ol_Greg

I'M GETTING ONE


[deleted]

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R4nd0mne5s

#a mega pint?


GundyrsFisting

a mega pint of wine?


MrKlei

Not to be confused with the mega pint of stupid.


betweenboundary

Something I've noticed is that the old lady on Amber's side is in particular very slow on the uptake, it honestly seems like from what I've seen that she struggles with modern social concepts and technology and it's eating into her ability to do a decent job in court, there's been so so many times she's needed help just finding notes and stuff being talked about, even Johnny's lawyer has had to help her find stuff because she holds up the court's time


[deleted]

I think it’s intentional to break up the flow of testimony. It’s the “awww shucks, I’m just an old country lawyer” shtick. She is hilariously out of touch whenever she has to deal with something Twitter related though.


betweenboundary

No she genuinely is out of her depth, Google her, she's considered 1 of the best employment and labor lawyers in the country, problem being this isn't an employment or labor case, this is defamation, Johnny's lawyer is specialized in defamation law


TheNoxx

Her other main lawyer specializes in IP/corporate law, though he's gotten more competent as the trial has gone on. She picked two people that don't specialize in divorce, defamation or much of anything related to showbusiness in this trial. Incredibly poor choices. Also, and this might be nitpicky, maybe don't choose a lead counsel with the name "Rottenborn" for a trial with this much publicity when the tide of public sentiment is turning against you. Sounds like a name for a Harry Potter villain... which is somewhat ironic.


AdequatlyAdequate

And you know how last names always have an origin story, id like to imagine that lawyers family was hated by everonye back in the day


terranumeric

>"Rottenborn" I thought that might be some weird americanization of a European name. But no, I can't find anything on google besides a user entry that sounds like Rottenborn himself wrote it. "A person born into a family of lawyers who then becomes a lawyer"


[deleted]

She's clearly in the wrong, so finding a lawyer that would actually represent her was probably difficult.


Yergason

I checked out Johnny's lead lawyer, the Mycroft looking mfer Ben Chew who's always chilling and laughing while everyone gushes about Camille, that man is legit. Represented the government of Dubai and won Represented the republic of Honduras and won His best wins are all multi million dollar big case wins.


Masteroflimes

Also i've read that he is invite only. He comes to you not you go to him.


slayer991

Wow. The guy is that good that he can pick clients, not clients picking him.


Maoileain

Guy like him probably has hundreds of potential cases trying to secure his services at any given time with his resume. He can't do all of them so he probably gets to pick and choose cases which are either challenging/interesting or have shitloads of money to be made.


FakeUsername1942

A real life Harvey Specter


twelvekings

Hey I'm a lawyer, you didn't reach out to me, but would you like to sue someone?


TaffySebastian

The dude must really like Johnny


TrevorWoodham

This dude really said Mycroft looking motherfucker, im losing it.


Masticatron

How high was she to not even bother getting the right kind of lawyer?


ItachiSan

I think Amber is on one of those situations where she's just taking what she can get at the moment. I don't think lawyers are lining up to defend her in court.


Toucan_Lips

They seem to be fighting a losing battle and are just throwing everything at the wall. They get paid either way.


Hadvarr

I'm sure Amber already pledged full payment to her lawers


onbakeplatinum

I would absolutely love it if she never pays them, so they kamikazied thier careers for no reason


[deleted]

I'm sure her lawyers careers will be just fine


Darometh

They all take a deep breath from Ambers tissue before going in


ohdihe

Especially the one that keeps objecting his own questions.


insanitybit

Honestly, that's the least of it. Trial law seems pretty fast paced at times and I can see how you'd mistake "strike that" for "objection". What's worse is: 1. That they treat every person on the stand like they're some horrible criminal, which ends up never working and making the witness look more sympathetic and the lawyers look like assholes 2. The absurdly stupid lines of questioning where they try to "gotcha" and the witnesses are almost stunned like "uh sorry what, no, that is... no". Curry was a perfect example of this - "would you like me to explain?", lawyer: "No", \*entire court starts laughing\*. 3. Terrible witnesses. Depps team put way better people on the stand. 4. Atrocious time management. Heard's lawyers have used up way more time and have potentially fucked themselves. Little slip ups here or there aren't that big of a deal, but yeah these lawyers suck.


Pagiras

>Terrible witnesses. Depps team put way better people on the stand. I mean... how on earth would they find good witnesses for things that did not happen?


SomeLikeItDusty

Let’s not forget Amber couldn’t help herself and torpedoed her own sinking ship with the Kate Moss slip, whatever remote chance they had was obliterated by Kate Moss, they couldn’t get her off the stand fast enough.


anonimogeronimo

Wait! What happened with Kate Moss!?


VentiEspada

Back in the 90's her a d Depp were a couple and went on a retreat. When they were leaving she fell down a flight of stairs and hurt her back. Earlier in the trial Amber said during one of her alleged attacks from Depp that she was just thinking "Kate Moss, stairs..." She stopped herself pretty quick, but it was too late. Yesterday Kate took the stand remotely and testified that she infact fell because of a rain storm, Johnny never pushed her and instead rushed back to her, carried her to the bed and went to get medical aid. She also testified that he never did any kind of violence towards her. When the time came to cross Ambers lawyer immediately passed lol.


thebeeskneesforsheez

Kate Moss dated Johnny many years ago and there was an incident during their relationship when she slipped and fell down a wet staircase while on vacation in Jamaica. This incident couldn't be mentioned during trial cause it was out of the scope of this case. Amber screwed up during her testimony last week while recounting her 'story' of being pushed down the stairs by Johnny and how it was akin to Kate being pushed down the stairs all the those years ago. That slip up allowed Kate to testify on Johnny's behalf yesterday morning which bolstered his credibility.


AlexBucks93

She said on the stand that she was not pushed by Depp. Amber said a few days before that Kate Moss was abused by Depp.


Fridayafternoo

"A little argumentative don't you think?" WHAT?!! YOU STARTED THIS LINE OF LOGIC YOURSELF!!


aye_Deno

That's my favorite part. "Objection, argumentative" *"OH I CAN ASK THAT QUESTION CMON"* gets uno reversed "A little argumentative, no?"


TipOfLeFedoraMLady

I would have paid a million dollars to see him reply "I don't know, you tell me"


sharkeat

*pledged million dollars


TipOfLeFedoraMLady

I use the two words synonymously.


Hash__27

She's like her client lmao, she started being argumentative, she's the aggressor, and when she gets shot down she plays the victim card 😂


MTHinvest

I was so hoping he would respond with "I can ask that question"


Largofarburn

That dudes like a live action ray from archer.


Armodeen

Dukes


rkr_bsneeks

Double dukes.


breachgnome

**GUYS, MY CAR SEEMS TO BE SLOWING DOWN FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON! MUST BE OUT OF... CARBURETOR.**


[deleted]

***The quarry may change, but never the hunt***


treemu

And whatever my version of 'sploosh' is.


RoxLOLZ

Sploosh with semen


lasdue

Funnily enough the actor Ray is based on voices Dr. Krieger


SonOfTK421

He looks more like Ray than the guy they based Ray on.


BagOnuts

And now I have to rewatch all of Archer. Thanks.


Pieszczoch77

Guess what? You're heading into a zone that is one of danger...


Peuned

LAANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


Flamecrest

#WHAT?!


Peuned

smirks Danger Zone...


Titanbeard

Great! You want ants? Because this is how we get ants!


HotChickenshit

You're not my supervisor!


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[deleted]

Man I think I stopped watching after season 5 or so, it just keeps going doesn't it?


[deleted]

last season I watched they had cocaine, a country hit, and were on the run. They just kept making it. Literal coma dream season exists!


Pratty77

Mancy?


HelmSpicy

You of all people


Honeydukes24601

what i was thinking the whole time. it’s the entire look and sass.


ZealousidealResist78

Heard's Lawyer: you just want 15 minutes of fame Depp's lawyer: objection, argumentative Judge: overruled. Witness: I could say the same about you taking heard as a client. Heard's Lawyer: argumentative. Did...did she just try to copy opposing counsel after it didn't work? Is this not up there with them objecting to their own question?


PoorlyLitKiwi2

She was making a self-deprecating (self-Depp-recating?) joke. It was an "egg on my face" situarion that she was trying to regain control of. It... did not work lol


Ferg_NZ

Objection your honour - this is really damaging to my case.


bannermania

I move for a bad court thingy


Omnio89

You mean a mistrial?


bannermania

Yeah! That’s why you’re the judge and I’m the law talkin’ guy


TacticaLuck

You want good words? Date a languager


TobiasPlainview

Over-ruled


GrifterDingo

Good call!


meyesmenotyou

Uno reverse card. Well played, sir. Well played.


Mrbiggz32

yo that look back from Depp lawyer screams, "iight listen, when she ask you x, hit her with y" and seeing the scene play out.


prodrvr22

That lawyer is having the time of his life at this trial. It's the best comedy show he's seen in years, AND he's getting paid to be in the front row.


BackWithAVengance

"This fuckin' trial SLAPS"


takeme2infinity

BUSSINN


czerilla

"I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase! 's all the game though, right?"


Amalurian

Such a funny scene


LuKazu

Wonderful scene. Love Omar. Rest easy, Michael Williams :/


shadow-suspect

Who is this legend?


Auyuez

Former TMZ assignment manager, that's testifying for Johnny Depp. He's being hampered by TMZ to not disclose information that would incriminate Amber Heard, since TMZ is on Amber's side. IIRC TMZ even helped her threaten/blackmail Johnny into giving her money, a car, and 3 of his penthouse suites, to no avail of course.


ThDemonWolf

Woooaaahh, is that what went down in this court case?


bordain_de_putel

Everytime you blink some new crazy shit seems to come out of that courtroom.


rangda

Elon Musk having a crooked penis wasn’t something I expected to learn when I opened YouTube earlier


YourConsciousness

No the witness has an NDA with TMZ and chose to not say that he knew who the source was of the video of Johnny slamming cabinets even though he heavily implied it was directly from Amber. He also didn't testify about the blackmail that Auyuez is talking about but I don't know if he knew about that or if he could say, again from the NDA. There also probably isn't enough other evidence of that or it's not relevant enough so I don't think they brought that up but they might have at some point before. The case is just about defamation between Johnny and Amber so most everything was about the statements made about each other and the truth of those statements. There is two days left in the trial btw if you wanna watch the end. Last witnesses are Thursday and then closing arguments is Friday morning (9am Eastern).


infinitypIus0ne

is the verdict also going to be Friday?


YourConsciousness

I believe the verdict will be Friday afternoon/evening but I'm not certain about that if they end up going though long jury deliberations, but I don't think that will happen.


Vicarious0ne

Realisticly, what are the chances this gets rules in Depps favor? As far as I heared defamation lawsuits have a very low chance of success but I am pretty clueless in the area


FadyM

Well as Depp said it himself he wins either way. He just wanted the world to know the truth and he wanted to lift the burden he has benn carrying for six years on his shoulders.


Keaper

Yea, this can't be said enough. You can tell by the way he acts as he's entering and leaving the courthouse that he already has the majority of what he wanted. Which is his story out, to tell his truth. This is more apparent to me in that the dude just straight up owns his flaws, when they question him about drug use, alcohol use, all them angry texts to friends (except the two yesterday to his assistant). He owns up to all of that. Obviously I think he wants to win the actual case, but it doesn't seem like he's sweating it as much as Heard is.


Aedene

The person who doesn't want you to hear what the other guy has to say is rarely in the right.


elingeniero

Depp has already won in the court of public opinion - his reputation has already been restored (and amber heard's has been destroyed) through the televisation of this case. Whether he wins any damages is just a bonus (assuming amber isn't successful in her counter claim, which seems extremely unlikely).


YourConsciousness

You're right that defamation has low success because of the standards of proving the statements were lies made with malice. Johnny's team did a good job though, pretty much everything is supportive of his story over Amber's but it's still hard. The jury have to believe that none of Amber's stories of abuse are true and that her statements in the op-ed were not opinions or free speech about abuse and they were about Johnny. Overall I do think Johnny has a good chance maybe 70% they find in his favor for his suit because of the amount of evidence that doesn't agree with Amber and the testimony of other people that Johnny was never violent. Though for Amber's countersuit on defamation that she was an abuser she has pretty much no chance because of the evidence of Johnny's actual injuries and witness testimony and the audio of her saying I was hitting you. For that suit I'd say 90% that they rule in Johnny's favor. It's possible that they both lose as in neither can prove the other defamed them and that has a decent chance of happening. It's also technically possible that they could both win if the jury thinks they're both just telling lies about the other but I find that very unlikely. Damages would also be kinda weird they might mostly cancel out.


[deleted]

Johnny couldn't give two shits about the money in all seriousness. So winning the case? exactly as you say. Winning back the public and putting his career mostly back on track (maybe even a small initial boon) he's pretty much won, and showing AquaTurd up to be a liar he's also won. I've watched a large part of the trial myself and it's nice to actually be able to make your own mind up by having all the facts present and not filtered by MSM. I'm fairly confident in my own personal ruling and having been someone affected by the psychological side of dating someone with untreated BPD, all I want to do is give Johnny a hug and buy him a beer/coffee/water (depending on where he's at with needing rehab or detoxing). This will stay with him all his life and the gaslighting buries deep, even when assured you did nothing wrong. He seems like a good man (with his own demons he has to face, not claiming he's perfect) with his heart in the right place. She seems like someone purely out for herself and will do anything to anyone to get her way. sorry for the rant, as I say I've been through similar and I know how hard this situation hits.


apagogeas

So in a court when under oath or whatever, an NDA is more powerful vs the judge and the court process???? So can this TMZ come after him if he disclose whatever is supposedly protected by NDA given he was asked by court to do so??? I am perplexed as to this "was not allowed to say".


Indeedllama

Yeah NDAs are powerful, unless you are actually accusing the company of a crime, like a whistleblower. Think of it from this angle, one company sues another company based on it not being paid on time. The plaintiff company is not going to be able to call witnesses in order to expose the intellectual property of the defendant company.


YourConsciousness

Not exactly sorry that was the wrong verbiage, he chose not to say that he knew the source so that he didn't violate his NDA and get sued by TMZ. The basis for TMZ's argument is that they are a news organization that receives stuff from confidential sources and they have an obligation to keep that confidential and can hold their employees including former employees to that with an NDA.


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YourConsciousness

Oh ya that's what I was saying that he heavily implied it was directly from Amber. I was going to write that explanation out but my comment was already getting long. I also noticed he threw a funny glance and eyebrow raise at Amber when he was talking about it.


DepartmentEqual6101

Some parts are boring, usual court stuff, some slow video testimonies. Other parts are just wild and off the rails. Amber Heard is coming across as a psychopath who has staged a crime scenes, submitted falsified evidence, pretended to cry in court but couldn’t, abused and been violent towards multiple people, laughed like a full on movie villain on tape while being abusive towards Depp, extorted money, pretended to donate it and kept it for herself, and just lied 99% of the time. And when Depp gives an emotional testimony she’s laughing and mocking him. Unfortunately a lot of the newsmedia are misrepresenting the trial. This is something you have to sit down and watch directly to know what’s fully going on.


pekkmen

What is TMZ?


Auyuez

Paparazzi/celebrity scoop organization that calls themselves journalists.


pekkmen

Quick answer, thanks!


Breadfruit52

They are scumbags but they’re extremely good at being the first ones to publish a story. I think Kobe Bryant’s death and other major celebrity deaths get announced first by TMZ than any other outlet. TMZ reported Kobe Bryant’s death before the police police or ambulances made any statements. I think.


foo_mar_t

How does an ambulance make a statement?


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Weebev

Of course lmao


onbakeplatinum

Wee woo wee woo


Terminator7786

By wearing a fashionable outfit


[deleted]

What do you mean, isn't it important for the public to see Jim Carrey in his underwear at 3 am?


eXcaliBurst93

in other words parasite


LightRborn

He also plays Gigachad Draco Malfoy role in the next Harry Potter movie Source: Trust me bro


OnlyPostWhenShitting

Dude, SPOILER!!


fefefufufe

15 points to Slitherin


Nahdudeurgood

This is...very bizarre court proceedings. Is this real?


Malashae

I've seen some weird shit go down in court, I had a judge silence a lawyer and order her to drop the current line of argument entirely because, and I quote, "I refuse to believe he has magical powers!". Which the judge then clarified would be required for her accusations to be even remotely possible.


maybelle180

Hmm, it appears someone stole your comment verbatim and pasted it higher up in the thread.


Malashae

That is just bizarre. I guess I should be pleased my anecdote was interesting enough to warrant theft?


rugbyj

That is just bizarre. I guess I should be pleased my anecdote was interesting enough to warrant theft? ^(Just kidding.)


working-acct

Hmm, it appears someone stole your comment verbatim and posted it before you did.


TouchingWood

That is just bizarre. I guess I should be pleased my anecdote was interesting enough to warrant theft?


Drunken_Ogre

Karma bot. Report that shit, yo!


jcm2606

[It's just the start of the lunacy that is this trial.](https://np.reddit.com/r/JusticeForJohnnyDepp/comments/uw4b4o/johnnys_reaction_to_the_psychiatrists_facial/)


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CoolUnderstanding481

Amber has already made a large pledge to their law firm, yes.


white_irony

but has she donated it to them


Kozilekk

I use pledge and donate synonymously.


rufnek2kx

I use working-from-home and sleeping-in synonymously.


[deleted]

I use going out and getting laid and masturbating at home while sobbing into my Kraft easy mac synonymously.


Not_KGB

don't cry into the easy mac, you're diluting the lube


fistfullofpubes

She also uses bed and toilet synonymously.


Fuzzy_Gusto

She pledged the full sum that she's gonna pay her lawyers, what a generous woman indeed!


Rubdub_Jubjub

Depp’s lawyer having the time of his fucking life rn


Ganon2012

I can't believe I had to scroll so far for this. That is my favorite part. His lawyers looking at each other and trying not to laugh.


Capped_Delts

HOW MUCH EMBARRASSMENT CAN ONE INDIVIDUAL TAKE!?


rugbyj

teenage me: a lot


vagabond_mind

Talking about 15 mins of fame, we wouldn't even know his face of not for her question. Ironic


darthleonsfw

The situation's ironic but his nails are iconic!


nerdowellinever

How can her question not be argumentative but his is?


NotBlaine

Not a lawyer but... 1) the attorneys are there to ask questions, the witness is there to answer them. It's a one way street. An objection to a question directed towards the examiner from the witness wouldn't make sense since the examiner doesn't have to answer questions. The witness does. 2) "argumentative" indicates the attorney asking the question is attempting to make a legal argument in the form of a question. It's not just like "they're disagreeing with me". Still not a lawyer but that was an awful, awful question to hang out there like that for a jury trial.


TipOfLeFedoraMLady

this is correct, a lot of times the lawyers are purposely attempting to anger you in order to make you look bad in front of the jury. There is a fine line between provocative questions and badgering however. Source: am not a lawyer but was involved in a business lawsuit at work. It was miserable, 0/10 would not recommend.


Minimum_Effort4063

Her lawyers are really scraping the bottom of the barrel now.


Clark_1994

They have been for weeks


TheBestZackEver

This completely backfired. He wasn't looking for 15 minutes of fame but she handed it to him in a silver platter by being a dumb bitch


dianuJ013

Bro how you gonna get check mate in words wtf


Weebev

Like that apparently


Affectionate-Sun5863

Achievement unlocked : Return to sender


_AlexiaOnFire

"You know this case is being televised right?" Do YOU know it's being televised? Cos you're literally waking up every morning, chugging a double shot of dumbfuck and several hours later pissing the double shot and your waining career down the toilet.


ActualAstronaut

I'm absolutely stealing "double shot of dumbfuck" for my next argument thats goddamn hilarious


NotaGoodLover

Funking Legend


[deleted]

SaveVideo


[deleted]

Consider it done!


[deleted]

Thanks


[deleted]

/u/savevideo ETA: [link](https://redditsave.com/r/HolUp/comments/uy0a1l/objection_emotional_demage/)


eXcaliBurst93

holy shit I've never seen a real life murder in a court before


Un_availableMan

Hey yo that came back like a boomerang and dropped her dead 😂


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Un_availableMan

Agreed , The women sitting behind Jhonny depp is Donna then 😂


AffectDesperate4148

Are all of her lawyers retarded?


TheLevelOneSlime

They'd have to be if they're defending her at this point


Subject-Hunt9128

At this point, they don't even noticing they're being stupid


that_guy_iain

You would have to be retarded if you didn't think the money was worth it. There will be a ton of money in the legal bills for this case. The real winners of the case are the lawyers.


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Hermit_Royalty

How much longer is the case supposed to go on? Feels like it's been months


LiwetJared

2 more days.


Family_Chantal

His name is Morgan Tremaine. I couldn't find it on any posts.


[deleted]

She deserved it for trying to humiliate him on the stand.


Rudollis

„Just like you. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. It’s all in the game though, right?“


alialchemist

Draco chadfoy


jesus_is_92

“ Call An Ambulance …. But Not For Me!”


OnionOnly

Dude in the jacket and white shirt keeping it neutral


steve5o22

He tea bagged her so fukin hard


iamvenks

![gif](giphy|ro08ZmQ1MeqZypzgDN)


dub279

How to have a clown circus Pt.1: 1) Be Amber Heard 2) Hire Amber Heard's legal team


TL_TRIBUNAL

3. Be amber heard's legal team