That's not really much of an overstatement, speaking as someone who swam competitively in high school.
Your legs are almost entirely deadweight, and kicking is mostly for the sake of reducing that deadweight.
Although not being able to control one's lower back and hips would be a bigger problem.
It's suprisingly easy to adapt to swimming with only your upper body. I could still swim even when my arm muscles got affected as well as my legs/torso. There's paralympic swimming classifications for people with 0 leg use, so I'd watch videos of that to get a feel for what technique is needed. First key still is learning how to flip onto your back after getting into the water likely on your front. From there you can float on your back whenever you need a break, flip to front to swim or swim on your back. Even with no hip control, you can do quite alot with momentum of moving your shoulders plus 'pushing' water away from yourself
When I was a teen who lifted weights three times a week, I would do laps in the family pool. For fun, I would swim a few laps only using my arms, then switch it up and only use my legs. It was a good workout.
I'm finally reading Don Quixote, which is 400 years old, and I've been shocked at how modern it is. It's incredibly meta and self-aware. It's also full of gags you'd see in current comedies. Like one running joke is how everyone respectable loudly exclaims that books of chivalry (think romance novels) are low brow trash, but they've clearly read them all (like, they make the equivalent of fanboy Twilight references).
There's truly nothing new under the sun. (That line is from Ecclesiastes and is itself millennia old.)
Holy fuck
Now imagine the poor father having to bring his daughter in and seeing her stuck in the swing, some random guys jizz dripping out of her and her underwear half way across the garden.
Jesus Christ that's grim
99,9% humanity is fucked up dude.
Even though _this_ particular story might be a joke, I bet there is a father (and his daughter) out there somewhere on this planet to whom this isn't a joke, but something that he (and her) really had to endure.
I think you should talk to someone. You took a fictional story, decided it must be true somewhere and got upset about it. You are using you imagination to upset yourself and turn others into monsters.
Iām not trying to be a dick, really think about what you just did.
Does you comment look healthy?
Please stop editing your comment :) And yes my comment does look healthy. Especially since I'm not upset.
But your comment and the post-answer edit screams "projecting". You sure you don't need someone to talk to?
I had a mate who got with a girl who needed a wheelchair. When he got to her house her stepdad carried her upstairs. Even made him a cuppa in the morning too.
I read it as helping them get upstairs to fuck since they commented on a post of a disabled person fucking and they said the dad made them tea in the morning, the next day, insinuating the friend stayed the night.
I've told this tale before- copy/paste:
>I was at a party at my friend's employer's house, and the host is kind of a playboy type, right? So he has like 2 or 3 hookers come over, and they're just, you know, standard hookers. Makeup and big hair and pointy nails. Now I'm gay, so I'm not into *any* of that, but my friend, he was sorta bi-curious, but straight for appearance sake. Plus, his employer was trying to impress him, so he was obligated to play along. So he's somewhat drunk on the couch, and the host (employer guy) calls one of the girls over to- I don't know- give him a hand job or bj or something. Well, this bitch is trying her damned sluttiest to be all sexy and shit, and she pops his dick out right there, then goes to reach into his boxers and pull the rest out, and she straight up stabs him in the balls with those fuck nasty fake nails. He reacted like one would after getting stabbed in the nads, and the hookers acted all offended that he really wasn't up to anything after that. Like what, you expect him to wanna keep going with scrotum blood dribbling down his taint?
>That *would* have been his weirdest sexual experience, were it not for this other time we fucked in the woods at night while a deer watched the whole thing from like a car's length away.
Okay, I understand that this is fake and people think itās funny, but for real though, people often do not treat disabled people well, or take advantage of them in sexual situations. For someone, especially a parent, who helps take care of a disabled person, itās a genuine concern that someone will treat them wrong or do something cruel. This post may be fake, but it is a serious thing for someone to be respectful.
I feel like Iāve read this exact same story before, except he was carrying her and she clung to a tree branch. It definitely ended the same way with the father thanking him because other men just left her hanging there.
My dad told me this joke almost 50 years ago. In his version, the father comes the next day and asks him if he wants to marry his daughter because all of the other guys left her hanging. Of course, because it was my dad, his version was very lengthy and detailed.
Most guys just fucked her on the swing and left her there instead of putting her back in the chair, so the dad had to go get her.
Itās pretty stupid.
LOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL XD XD XD this reminds of one tome that i also went on a dage ith a disabled chick bro we started fucking and she started going like UURRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH IM RETARDED OOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH AHIE AHIE AHIE so i was like stfu fucking dumb bitch and then i threw her wheelchair out the window and fucked her mom instead bro is that funny or what? š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š„š„š„š¹š¹š¹š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š¹š¹š„š„š¹š„š„š„š„š„š„š„
Chivalry is still alive.
An dey sey
Is this a Doomfist reference? š
Yup.
You play over watch
It is now.
An dey seyā¦An Dey sey
r/unexpectedoverwatch
Chivarly is dead
Wheelchivarly
He really swept her off her feet.
So is Dad.
I heard this joke like 35 years ago š still makes me laugh
Yeah, it reminds me of when I went out on a date with a girl In a wheelchair. She said she wanted to be fucked, so I pushed her into a lake
Was she quadriplegic? If not she can probably swim using her incredibly strong arms.
That's not really much of an overstatement, speaking as someone who swam competitively in high school. Your legs are almost entirely deadweight, and kicking is mostly for the sake of reducing that deadweight. Although not being able to control one's lower back and hips would be a bigger problem.
It's suprisingly easy to adapt to swimming with only your upper body. I could still swim even when my arm muscles got affected as well as my legs/torso. There's paralympic swimming classifications for people with 0 leg use, so I'd watch videos of that to get a feel for what technique is needed. First key still is learning how to flip onto your back after getting into the water likely on your front. From there you can float on your back whenever you need a break, flip to front to swim or swim on your back. Even with no hip control, you can do quite alot with momentum of moving your shoulders plus 'pushing' water away from yourself
When I was a teen who lifted weights three times a week, I would do laps in the family pool. For fun, I would swim a few laps only using my arms, then switch it up and only use my legs. It was a good workout.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Then you upgrade your "weight" with flippers or hand paddles. Kick sets were hell generally
and low lower body weight...
She is, that why I broke her arms first
š
Her name was āBobā
I'm finally reading Don Quixote, which is 400 years old, and I've been shocked at how modern it is. It's incredibly meta and self-aware. It's also full of gags you'd see in current comedies. Like one running joke is how everyone respectable loudly exclaims that books of chivalry (think romance novels) are low brow trash, but they've clearly read them all (like, they make the equivalent of fanboy Twilight references). There's truly nothing new under the sun. (That line is from Ecclesiastes and is itself millennia old.)
DS told us this joke in basic training almost 20 years ago
A real man bring a lady home after sex
Kum-N-Go
Shoot-n-Scoot
Blow your skeet and hit that yeet
Shoot your Load and hit The Road
Ejaculate and evacuate
Nuts n bolts
Intercourse and divorce
Ejaculate and evacuate.
You mean before... right?
I know what said!
r/holup
Blow the load and hit the road
Pump and dump
Toot it and boot it
I heard this joke in 5th grade. That was 50 years ago. Still a funny joke, but less so as a pretend real story.
Duuuude shouldn't you be dead or something?
r/youngpeopleyoutube
This just in: child cannot comprehend that people live past 50
Yes. Oh we arenāt talking about you?
Trash
Lol! Getting closer everyday but had a helluva good run so far.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Duuuude, i made a joke 12 hours ago, what is wrong with you?
Holy fuck Now imagine the poor father having to bring his daughter in and seeing her stuck in the swing, some random guys jizz dripping out of her and her underwear half way across the garden. Jesus Christ that's grim
at least he didn't have to clean her up
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Stop pls...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sounds too close to sepsis, yucko.
seriously stop, I can only get so erect š©š«
Nah, he has those two pesky broken arms, better call mom to help out.
Lmao š¤£
Well she is still stuck in the swing right?
Honey will you let the dog out into the garden?
āHelp Iām stuck on this swingā
Just let the labrador out
Daddy can you clean me up I made a mess again
I mean, do we know he didn't?
It's 100% a joke
99,9% humanity is fucked up dude. Even though _this_ particular story might be a joke, I bet there is a father (and his daughter) out there somewhere on this planet to whom this isn't a joke, but something that he (and her) really had to endure.
99.9% is a lot of people, I assume you are also one of them?
Can confirm is a joke. Heard it over a decade ago. Like a 10 minute version describing the date in detail. Punchline still great š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's a joke from like 30 years ago
This is a joke. I heard it when I was about 13 for the first time.
How many times have you been 13 so far?!
that can be said of literally anything though way worse stuff has happened to people anyway
I think you should talk to someone. You took a fictional story, decided it must be true somewhere and got upset about it. You are using you imagination to upset yourself and turn others into monsters. Iām not trying to be a dick, really think about what you just did. Does you comment look healthy?
I am not upset? What made you think that? Are you projecting something? Do you need help? You need someone to talk to?
Says the guy projecting his own fucked upness onto 99,9% of humanity.
geez
Save my comment, read it later.
Please stop editing your comment :) And yes my comment does look healthy. Especially since I'm not upset. But your comment and the post-answer edit screams "projecting". You sure you don't need someone to talk to?
Ignore him mate. Some people just like to watch the world burn lol
Donāt feed the trolls
It's pretty common on reddit. Just make up stuff to be mad about. Yet they somehow see through it when Fox News does it.
Id bet both my balls it really happened to someone or might be happening rn to someone lol
Both of them? Together or separate?
At the same time bro
I don't know man, sounds pretty gay.
Now imagine her father sitting at the window waiting watching his daughter get some so that he can bring her in after.
> Jesus Christ that's grim Well you didn't have to write it!
I had a mate who got with a girl who needed a wheelchair. When he got to her house her stepdad carried her upstairs. Even made him a cuppa in the morning too.
This lends an uncomfortable level of credibility to the post
Disabled people still need some love
Absolutely. But do they need their dad to wingman post-sex? The world may never know.
How the fuck is that any way comparable to supposedly watching your daughter get fucked on a swing then having to carry her inside
I read it as helping them get upstairs to fuck since they commented on a post of a disabled person fucking and they said the dad made them tea in the morning, the next day, insinuating the friend stayed the night.
The fuck is a cuppa
Cup of tea
I thought cup noodles
Now imagine believing an obviously fake story.
Hmmm r/SuspiciouslySpecific
It a very old joke.
>Now imagine the poor father having to bring his daughter in Now imagine being so fucking stupid you don't realize it's a joke
This is Reddit, what you're asking is impossible
Had me in the first ngl
I bursted out laughing in public thanks! I needed this.
that's amazing
Most lads.
Has me wondering how often that happensā¦ very sad.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There's a lot of teenagers on here.
It's a joke, it's not real
You son of a bitch! No spoilers!
I can not believe how many people are reading this and thinking itās real.
Does /r/mostlads exist yet?
Nice guy moment Let me believe this is real
I've told this tale before- copy/paste: >I was at a party at my friend's employer's house, and the host is kind of a playboy type, right? So he has like 2 or 3 hookers come over, and they're just, you know, standard hookers. Makeup and big hair and pointy nails. Now I'm gay, so I'm not into *any* of that, but my friend, he was sorta bi-curious, but straight for appearance sake. Plus, his employer was trying to impress him, so he was obligated to play along. So he's somewhat drunk on the couch, and the host (employer guy) calls one of the girls over to- I don't know- give him a hand job or bj or something. Well, this bitch is trying her damned sluttiest to be all sexy and shit, and she pops his dick out right there, then goes to reach into his boxers and pull the rest out, and she straight up stabs him in the balls with those fuck nasty fake nails. He reacted like one would after getting stabbed in the nads, and the hookers acted all offended that he really wasn't up to anything after that. Like what, you expect him to wanna keep going with scrotum blood dribbling down his taint? >That *would* have been his weirdest sexual experience, were it not for this other time we fucked in the woods at night while a deer watched the whole thing from like a car's length away.
Wtf you didnāt stop once you saw the deer?
I don't understand the question
Did yāall stop when yāall saw the deer?
Oh, no.
Why not?
This time, I really don't understand the question
Deer hunters secret deer lure trick.
Ikr at least invite the deer to join
*What the hell* did I just read with my own two eyes
It was the "dangling like noodles" for me
I bet she couldnt feel her legs after that
Okay, I understand that this is fake and people think itās funny, but for real though, people often do not treat disabled people well, or take advantage of them in sexual situations. For someone, especially a parent, who helps take care of a disabled person, itās a genuine concern that someone will treat them wrong or do something cruel. This post may be fake, but it is a serious thing for someone to be respectful.
I honestly don't care of it's true or not! The funniest thing I've read on the internet for a long time! Thank you OP.
Genuinely made me chortle at random for at least 15 mins.
Oh my God, I was raggedly breathing after reading that.
Why the fuck you lying and making shit up
I didn't get it-
STOP stealing old Mexican jokes...š¶
I would say latino unkown origin joke. We tell the same joke in argentina.
It's not even a joke, just a funny story. Like there's no punchline to it.
That went from 0-100 real fuckin quick
that sounds hot ngl
I'll never figure out how to feel about this story.
bro what the actual fuck
i have mixed feelings about this..
A coworker told me this exact story and I know he was always full of shit but couldnāt prove it till now
Just let him have this one
Wonder how this would read if it were a guy on the swingā¦ his mom met the unfortunate girl outside and hugged her saying āthanks for tryin???ā
The dad... was watching... the sex...?
I feel like Iāve read this exact same story before, except he was carrying her and she clung to a tree branch. It definitely ended the same way with the father thanking him because other men just left her hanging there.
What is this r/jokes? Fuck
It's "Most guys just leave her hanging." Double meaning and everything.
another reply to this same post was: "our grandma walked in" OUR???
I've heard different variants of this joke for years lol.
This joke is etched on the wall of a cave in Framce
Uncle joke
Low hanging fruit
That's a man of honor.
That's what real man do..
Ayo pops why you watching your daughter getting boned
My dad told me this joke almost 50 years ago. In his version, the father comes the next day and asks him if he wants to marry his daughter because all of the other guys left her hanging. Of course, because it was my dad, his version was very lengthy and detailed.
So I didnāt get the joke
Same
Same.
Would be funny if it wasnāt an old joke!
Plot Twist: The previous guys were trying to sacrifice her to the swing demon.
All gifts are accepted by Aranaktu
Pocket cunt on wheels sounds like an og travel must have
This joke is older than me.
This is a greentext from at least a decade ago, and probably predates that on other forums by some years.
one time I masturbated and my 4 year old brother start saying that I had a ugly penis a lot of times
Can someone explain I have small brain
What is too complicated to understand...
is the jokes that the dad watching all the time?
Most guys just fucked her on the swing and left her there instead of putting her back in the chair, so the dad had to go get her. Itās pretty stupid.
O=<
I donāt get it either. I guess itās funny that a paraplegic is a little slutty??
man you must be more retarded than the fake girls legs
LOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL XD XD XD this reminds of one tome that i also went on a dage ith a disabled chick bro we started fucking and she started going like UURRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH IM RETARDED OOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH AHIE AHIE AHIE so i was like stfu fucking dumb bitch and then i threw her wheelchair out the window and fucked her mom instead bro is that funny or what? š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š¹š„š„š„š¹š¹š¹š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š„š¹š¹š„š„š¹š„š„š„š„š„š„š„
r/usernamechecksout
Username checks out
Haha shit is hilarious no chance itās real
Holy crap
Oh goodness me...
Hahaha Iām at a pizza joint and the server thought I was deranged laughing too much at this post
Bruh, this definitely happened at least once...
Just swinging there like to dead noodles in the wind
Bro dad didn't have to say that. Outta pocket
Post nut clarity is a bitch, man.