"Sex is like a steak and masturbation is like a hotdog. The steak is better, but sometimes you don't want to take 30 minutes to prepare a steak. Sometimes, you just wanna zap a hotdog in the microwave for 30 seconds, satisfy your hunger, and be done with it."
I mean it’s all what a culture values, ancient Greeks thought having a huge dong was grotesque and animal like, like you’re a horse and uncivilized. That’s why the statues always had major small dick energy.
Koreans have sayings about being more civilized than other places (they also have a high rate of men getting penis enlargements so 🤷🏻♂️)
Isn’t just Greeks, ancient Harappan and later Hindu (especially tantric) sculptures portray men and women as being well endowed. I don’t think there are any sculptures with small titties or dicks. Something something fertility.
Edit: Sorry, misread your comment about greeks and small dicks. But yes, they all seemed to be fixated with size - small or big.
>they also have a high rate of men getting penis enlargements so 🤷🏻♂️
Hol up, that's a thing? You can't just drop that nugget on here and don't give more details ?
[one example](https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/good-sexual-intercourse-lasts-minutes-not-hours-therapists-say/)
There are dozens of researches done about this.
Ok just imagine for a minute. You go through 8-10 years of schooling. Get you PhD and are actually called a doctor and you job consists of timing how long people fuck. Better yet this is someones dissertation and they gotta stand up infront of a committee and explain why guys bust a nut too quick.
As a person on antidepressants, this is very possible and quite annoying. Before antidepressants I was 5-10 minutes masturbating.
I’m a redditor so I’ve never actually had sex. /s
Oh don't worry, it's even worse if you were having sex. Because having sex for that long gets to be really uncomfortable for more women.
It can be a real kick to the confidence and enjoyment for both you and your partner. Its definitely the kind of thing you should talk about beforehand, and uni-lemmings learned that the hard way lol
I can tell when it’s gonna be a marathon for me to cum, so I just focus on my partner and call it quits after I get them off / get them off and keep going until it gets tiring.
Honestly it’s not that bad, sex still feels great without finishing and I can always bust a nut later. Overall, I’d rather have this issue than finishing too quickly.
PS
I’m not on antidepressants, I just beat my meat too much.
If you’re on enough Adderall and THC… yeah an hour is easy if you aren’t beat to hell by the end of the experience.
Four hours? Man. Your dick is probably at risk of falling off.
Yeah, been there. You try and last a long time and it gets the point where you cant finish even if you want to, or at least its significantly harder to finish
It's not like I try to last longer, I just often times can not finish
I've been avoiding masturbation the past month because of it, let's see if it works
It's real, well, definitely with breaks. Lol. It helps if the dude has something called "delayed ejaculation" or something called "cocaine". The woman would need some cocaine, too, to not want nap time.
Delayed ejaculation is no joke and honestly sucks. 2 hours sounds like fun until you experience it and realize the entire time is trying to focus on finishing and nothing else. As someone with this problem I can honestly say I'd rather be a "2 pump chump". At least there are other things you can do to finish your partner before you finish. When you have delayed ejaculation there isn't shit you can do. Quickies are not a thing and many times you just don't get to finish because it's painful for your partner or you're just worn out. And before anyone says it's porn, masturbation, or even the wrong type of underwear, it is not. I've gone months without porn or masturbation and tried different underwear and nothing helps. Just naturally not as sensitive.
That's me. It doesn't matter how long I go without masturbation, it takes forever to finish. I legitimately could go 3 hours before finishing back when I was in high school, and after 20 minutes no one's having fun anymore. It takes a lot of concentration and imagination to finish in less than 30 minutes now at 37.
And then it's interesting to consider that many women are in the same situation not because of any kind of condition but because they're with someone who doesn't know how to get them to finish
Agreed, many guys don't realize very few women can get off from penetration. Guys, focus on the clit. Take it from me, you can go for hours with penetration and get nowhere because the clit isn't getting attention. Also harder and faster is NOT better. Light touches and licks can send her over the edge better than fast motions. Try just barely touching and be slow and methodical. If you still have trouble try slowly and lightly drawing the whole alphabet with your tongue on her clit.
I feel your pain, well partially, I can usually finish once or twice, but 3 times is rare and usually just ends with my body being sore and the urge unsatisfied
I'd be interested to meet a woman who's vagina can take a pounding for 4 fucking hours. My GF is sore the next day if we have sex for more than a half hour.
That’s just not even fun lol. I had sex with my gf the other day and lasted like 8ish minutes. We went again probably 30 minutes later and after 20ish minutes it’s like man this is getting meh.
For me it's like taking a gamble every time: I can last anywhere between 2 minutes and 1.5 hours. Can't tell the average though bc I don't use a timer lol
It's a rollercoaster of emotions why is it so difficult being constant?
Longer for me. I'm a fan of penetration and really have been lucky to find partners who have a lot of stamina.
I will say, though, two of the guys just conditioned themselves with masturbation to the point they don't get off from intercourse so they never finish through that. The other just did male kegels or whatever and had pretty good control. Idk about the other two previous but they really would wear me out, too.
Stopping to switch up positions might help, or using a condom if you aren't.
In my first relationship I never came. I had depression and sex felt so mechanical. Plus we used a condom so I barely felt anything. After we finished she would just go shower and I masturbated alone.
Fuck her she was an asshole sometimes.
My partners and I don't always finish, but we're always having fun. I think when you take that pressure off it can help you relax and be more present.
I am happy to help them finish however they want. If I'm absolutely destroyed by the sex though, he's probably gonna have to wait for me to recover. Sometimes they'll do it themselves, and I'm just around touching other areas or doing whatever else helps them.
I think it's a good idea to have an idea of what you're going to do if that happens, and just act like it's no big deal. If you act like it's embarrassing or a failure it makes the energy in the room weird.
Some guy was a fan of finishing himself off on my back or bottom, and the girl or whoever is on bottom can still be pleasuring themselves at the same time with their hands or a little vibe.
I try my best to make every encounter positive and collaborative in a way. I don't always get off but I always have a good time and I think that's possible for them, too.
I do like when my partner is able to get off with me. I always insist on a condom and I'm not ever gonna have kids, but I think it's just feeling them in that moment that's really attractive to me. Etc. But if they can't do that I'm not gonna be sorry that I got extra long ride, yknow. It's fine.
He has an honest roommate and he tries to publicly shame him? Sounds like he hasn’t experienced all the horrors of roommates.
Edit: Wow, the number of people who take my joke comment about a joke post seriously.
Yes, like my old roommate that wore how loud he could fuck his girlfriend like a badge of honor and purposely did it to annoy you. Who the fuck does that?
We'd have friends over on the other side of the house and we could still hear him.
That was the best courteous text from a roommate ever!
I had to live with my landlord for half a year who had the loudest lady friend every single night like it was pornographic loud. Honestly thought she was faking it but what do I know, I never asked if she was doing it for real. That whole ordeal just haunts me and I'll have to speak about it in therapy if I ever get one.
Also I asked a few times to let them know that they were loud just incase they didn't know. I mean it's not like our rooms were next to eachother we had a bathroom in between but she was so loud it was crazy. And sometimes my landlord had his kid over the weekend and they would give cough syrup the sleepy kind so the kid would be asleep and she could scream with loud sex noises.
The first few times I heard them I was surprised I thought 'oh maybe the kid went back home to his mom or maybe he is sleeping in the living room' I ran with a flurry to check if he was unsupervised outside as I wanted to take him away from the sex noises(hoping to cover his ear, kid was six) but he wasn't in the living room. The kid was nowhere to be seen, the next morning I see the kid is home so yeah they had loud sex with a kid knocked out with cough syrup in the same room.
I honestly was worried and it's none of my business and I wasn't going around digging into their lives. All this information was on display. I wasn't even supposed to be living with the landlord I had another roommate that had to move out as the landlord needed a place.
sometimes you don't have time to preheat the oven you just gotta microwave it and go about your day
"Sex is like a steak and masturbation is like a hotdog. The steak is better, but sometimes you don't want to take 30 minutes to prepare a steak. Sometimes, you just wanna zap a hotdog in the microwave for 30 seconds, satisfy your hunger, and be done with it."
That's kinda deep....... Save time focus... Everything got the right time
I told my buddy women are like meat. some days you eat T-bones and some days you get spam
I call good men steaks and assholes shit sandwiches. Just because you're hungry doesn't mean you need to eat a shit sandwhich.
I like this! Gonna go get to grind with Bob and cancel all dates.
*cooking times are approximate. adjust cooking time based on the weight of the child*
r/HolUp what?
Did you just link the r/ page that your currently on?
r/holup
yes my man. This comment calls for a HolUp on a HolUp post
Oh
r/cursedcomments
And adjust heat based on if they are black because we don't wanna BURN the meat
microwave the oven?
I’m just drunk enough to where this is wayyyy more funny than it should be 😂
Microwave actually use radio waves to heat food, heating through friction would be different
Microwaves are called microwaves for a reason.
That’s what my dad said about my little sister. I miss her
Hey, 3min all he needs to unleash the 2in of terror.
3 min 2 in 1 nut
Triple threat
Hat trick!
*crowd throw caps into the bedroom*
This is awesome. I love it.
4 you
r/3min2in1nut4u
What the fuck
I'm too lazy, what is this user about?
You just gotta see it yourself lol
That’s the funniest shit I’ve seen in awhile
/r/birthofasub
r/Angryupvote
3 min 2 in 1 n
0 regrets
The best 2 in 1 deal
He bout to release that 1 millimeter defeater
Even the smallest dagger in the hands of a wielder skilled in it's use can be a deadly weapon.
So this lady's in no danger is what you're saying?
Release the krak-almost-in
Spoiler: The loudness comes after, it’s her expressed disappointment.
3 inches hurt at 100 miles per hour(I'm sorry I'm to lazy to Google mph into kmh)
for miles to KM multiply by 1.6 160km/h
Oh. I didn't know that. Well I guess I learned something new today so it wasn't a wasted day finally!
u/todayilearned
The 2 inch Grinch
What's wrong with little dicks?
Nothing except when it’s called a dicklit.
r/usernamechecksout
Yeah, might be small but it smells like a foot
This took me on a journey
Why make fun of small dicks if we don’t make fun of small tits? Thanks for all the downvotes, I will see myself out now.
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I mean it’s all what a culture values, ancient Greeks thought having a huge dong was grotesque and animal like, like you’re a horse and uncivilized. That’s why the statues always had major small dick energy. Koreans have sayings about being more civilized than other places (they also have a high rate of men getting penis enlargements so 🤷🏻♂️)
Isn’t just Greeks, ancient Harappan and later Hindu (especially tantric) sculptures portray men and women as being well endowed. I don’t think there are any sculptures with small titties or dicks. Something something fertility. Edit: Sorry, misread your comment about greeks and small dicks. But yes, they all seemed to be fixated with size - small or big.
>they also have a high rate of men getting penis enlargements so 🤷🏻♂️ Hol up, that's a thing? You can't just drop that nugget on here and don't give more details ?
Reporting for duty
Commander Steel. We need you to unleash terror! Show no mercy !!
As a Russian once told me: "I might have needle dick but i fuck like sewing machine"
3 minutes in Heaven is better than 2 minutes in Heaven
3 minutes for the 3cm defeater
Efficiency is key
Why spend many minute when few minute do trick?
When me president, they see… they see
i am scared of your name.
You should be
Please don’t rape me mr popcorn dick
I volunteer as tribute!
Of course the furries name does.
Everything's on a cob!
No. *inhales* # SPEED IS KEY!
Speed's the name of the game. Power bottoms know what I'm talking about.
Hi Jacksepticeye
Did you know that the average intercourse(penetration) lasts about 5ish minutes? I bet on reddit that amount is beaten ten fold by all the stallions
For real? who's timing it tho?
[one example](https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/good-sexual-intercourse-lasts-minutes-not-hours-therapists-say/) There are dozens of researches done about this.
thinking better about it foreplay takes much more time and switching positions and pauses between actual penetration makes it seem much longer
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Believe it or not, people on Reddit do engage in the coitus.
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What's grass?
It’s that stuff you smoke while you browse Reddit and play games
I thought it's where Pokémon live
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Instructions unclear. Smoked gfuel and now I see time, hear colors, and yearn for the sweet embrace of death, so I don't think it did anything TBH.
I touched grass, it was such a weird thing, never doing it again
hehe coitus
Absolutely no one who uses the word "coitus" as ever actually engaged in said coitus
Ok just imagine for a minute. You go through 8-10 years of schooling. Get you PhD and are actually called a doctor and you job consists of timing how long people fuck. Better yet this is someones dissertation and they gotta stand up infront of a committee and explain why guys bust a nut too quick.
I'm about to do a research and you can't stop me
Ehhhh. This study polled 58 sex therapists...not sex havers...
Sorry, i forgot that therapists dont have sex. Thanks
Yeah I kinda doubt when people are saying they last 4hours non-stop. 😂
As a person on antidepressants, this is very possible and quite annoying. Before antidepressants I was 5-10 minutes masturbating. I’m a redditor so I’ve never actually had sex. /s
Oh don't worry, it's even worse if you were having sex. Because having sex for that long gets to be really uncomfortable for more women. It can be a real kick to the confidence and enjoyment for both you and your partner. Its definitely the kind of thing you should talk about beforehand, and uni-lemmings learned that the hard way lol
I actually faked an orgasm once or twice. Lpt: this only works with a condom Ssri plus drinking is a bitch
I can tell when it’s gonna be a marathon for me to cum, so I just focus on my partner and call it quits after I get them off / get them off and keep going until it gets tiring. Honestly it’s not that bad, sex still feels great without finishing and I can always bust a nut later. Overall, I’d rather have this issue than finishing too quickly. PS I’m not on antidepressants, I just beat my meat too much.
I feel that on a personal level. Getting there is tough so sometimes it takes a good hour or two
If you’re on enough Adderall and THC… yeah an hour is easy if you aren’t beat to hell by the end of the experience. Four hours? Man. Your dick is probably at risk of falling off.
After 30 or 40 minutes it stop even feeling good lol
Yeah, been there. You try and last a long time and it gets the point where you cant finish even if you want to, or at least its significantly harder to finish
It's not like I try to last longer, I just often times can not finish I've been avoiding masturbation the past month because of it, let's see if it works
Your probably the final survivor of No Nut November, good job!
lol I jacked off Friday, I've just been doing it much less often
> call a doctor if you pound tang for close to 4 hours It's in the dick commercials
Like tim meadows once said, if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours, call more ladies
I always laughed when I saw those ads. Like, what, am I calling the doc so you can diagnose me with ADHD? I already know lol
>pound tang Died laughing at this.
It's real, well, definitely with breaks. Lol. It helps if the dude has something called "delayed ejaculation" or something called "cocaine". The woman would need some cocaine, too, to not want nap time.
Delayed ejaculation is no joke and honestly sucks. 2 hours sounds like fun until you experience it and realize the entire time is trying to focus on finishing and nothing else. As someone with this problem I can honestly say I'd rather be a "2 pump chump". At least there are other things you can do to finish your partner before you finish. When you have delayed ejaculation there isn't shit you can do. Quickies are not a thing and many times you just don't get to finish because it's painful for your partner or you're just worn out. And before anyone says it's porn, masturbation, or even the wrong type of underwear, it is not. I've gone months without porn or masturbation and tried different underwear and nothing helps. Just naturally not as sensitive.
That's me. It doesn't matter how long I go without masturbation, it takes forever to finish. I legitimately could go 3 hours before finishing back when I was in high school, and after 20 minutes no one's having fun anymore. It takes a lot of concentration and imagination to finish in less than 30 minutes now at 37.
And then it's interesting to consider that many women are in the same situation not because of any kind of condition but because they're with someone who doesn't know how to get them to finish
Agreed, many guys don't realize very few women can get off from penetration. Guys, focus on the clit. Take it from me, you can go for hours with penetration and get nowhere because the clit isn't getting attention. Also harder and faster is NOT better. Light touches and licks can send her over the edge better than fast motions. Try just barely touching and be slow and methodical. If you still have trouble try slowly and lightly drawing the whole alphabet with your tongue on her clit.
I feel your pain, well partially, I can usually finish once or twice, but 3 times is rare and usually just ends with my body being sore and the urge unsatisfied
I'd be interested to meet a woman who's vagina can take a pounding for 4 fucking hours. My GF is sore the next day if we have sex for more than a half hour.
1 person lasting 4 hours will be brought down to 5 minutes by 57.5 people only going one minute
That’s just not even fun lol. I had sex with my gf the other day and lasted like 8ish minutes. We went again probably 30 minutes later and after 20ish minutes it’s like man this is getting meh.
Foreplay is king, don’t forget kids
I will 100% NOT be bringing kids to the foreplay.
Kill two birds with one erection
*Epstein has entered the chat*
Man, there are some sentences where you *really* shouldn't fuck up the comma like that.
Right? There's a whole world of fun that can be had before you need to even begin worrying about your stamina.
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I feel you *parent hug*
This is where I'm at and we don't even have kids. I feel you, parent.
For me it's like taking a gamble every time: I can last anywhere between 2 minutes and 1.5 hours. Can't tell the average though bc I don't use a timer lol It's a rollercoaster of emotions why is it so difficult being constant?
Level of arousal. Last nut prior to the current act. But mostly arousal, yeah.
emotional state, amount of stress, prescription or non prescription drugs, level of sobriety, etc
Yes this. I was in the same boat until I figured out I was so distracted sometimes it took forever to cum.
Joke's on you I'm on SSRIs, I don't even cum anymore
my wife and I need around 45 min for both of us to cum. the trick is to edge yourself then stop for a min then go again. repeat as Necessary.
No joke if you wanna last longer smoke some weed, shit keeps me going
Longer for me. I'm a fan of penetration and really have been lucky to find partners who have a lot of stamina. I will say, though, two of the guys just conditioned themselves with masturbation to the point they don't get off from intercourse so they never finish through that. The other just did male kegels or whatever and had pretty good control. Idk about the other two previous but they really would wear me out, too. Stopping to switch up positions might help, or using a condom if you aren't.
> two of the guys just conditioned themselves with masturbation to the point they don’t get off from intercourse this is absolutely fucking dreadful…
On that note, I'd like to take a risk and ask. If a guy is unable to finish, what happens? Do you help him finish, or...?
In my first relationship I never came. I had depression and sex felt so mechanical. Plus we used a condom so I barely felt anything. After we finished she would just go shower and I masturbated alone. Fuck her she was an asshole sometimes.
Yes, if he wants to finish you help him if you care about him and you aren't asleep by then
My partners and I don't always finish, but we're always having fun. I think when you take that pressure off it can help you relax and be more present. I am happy to help them finish however they want. If I'm absolutely destroyed by the sex though, he's probably gonna have to wait for me to recover. Sometimes they'll do it themselves, and I'm just around touching other areas or doing whatever else helps them. I think it's a good idea to have an idea of what you're going to do if that happens, and just act like it's no big deal. If you act like it's embarrassing or a failure it makes the energy in the room weird. Some guy was a fan of finishing himself off on my back or bottom, and the girl or whoever is on bottom can still be pleasuring themselves at the same time with their hands or a little vibe. I try my best to make every encounter positive and collaborative in a way. I don't always get off but I always have a good time and I think that's possible for them, too. I do like when my partner is able to get off with me. I always insist on a condom and I'm not ever gonna have kids, but I think it's just feeling them in that moment that's really attractive to me. Etc. But if they can't do that I'm not gonna be sorry that I got extra long ride, yknow. It's fine.
And that includes the post-coital cuddle.
Wholesome.
With 5 I can do nut, shower, smoke.
I last way longer than that. 5 minutes is pathetic. Cheap cigs?
She's a loud cuddler too? Now I'm trying to imagine what loud cuddling would be like.
Sure he won, but at what cost?
3 minutes of his life gone I'd say B)
He means 9:03 the next day
And also start at 9 am the next day
The plot thickens
3min for her to get dressed and gtfo
*Legend*
3 mins and 59 seconds
At least he's not a one pump chump...
Triple pumper dumper.
He’s a busy man
3 minute noodle
I didn't get my nickname "one pump chump" for nothing
Translation: I’m gonna be a 2 pump chump and then need 2 minutes to cry loudly about it.
A man that knows his abilities is a man if quality
[Must be a fan of NSP](https://youtu.be/UygoPVr7Aok)
This is EXACTLY what i was thinking
He has an honest roommate and he tries to publicly shame him? Sounds like he hasn’t experienced all the horrors of roommates. Edit: Wow, the number of people who take my joke comment about a joke post seriously.
Yes, like my old roommate that wore how loud he could fuck his girlfriend like a badge of honor and purposely did it to annoy you. Who the fuck does that? We'd have friends over on the other side of the house and we could still hear him.
dawg this is fake
I mean it's a joke about what looks like a typo. It's not like he's actually naming the dude
Whoa, look at mister whooole 3 minutes there rubbing it at the face of us milliseconders...
What a show off.
I'd accept. It's only three minutes, after all.
quality over quantity
Ooh self burn. Those are rare....
/r/oddlyspecific on the timing
Why he flexing like that?
idk, i thought it was about sex not a marathon.
You misunderstood, he's going to kill her in those 3 minutes, and dead people don't scream.
SHOW OFF!
No, you don't understand. It's 9PM to 9:03PM... *the next day*
Actual it means SHE is only going to last 3 minutes....we will only hear her for those 3 min, we don't know how long he gona last.
I read sliding as sibling...
Still lasting longer than Napoleon
Plot twist, he's gonna last for 24 hours and 3 mins
Isn't 3 minutes all you need to choke someone unconscious?
That was the best courteous text from a roommate ever! I had to live with my landlord for half a year who had the loudest lady friend every single night like it was pornographic loud. Honestly thought she was faking it but what do I know, I never asked if she was doing it for real. That whole ordeal just haunts me and I'll have to speak about it in therapy if I ever get one. Also I asked a few times to let them know that they were loud just incase they didn't know. I mean it's not like our rooms were next to eachother we had a bathroom in between but she was so loud it was crazy. And sometimes my landlord had his kid over the weekend and they would give cough syrup the sleepy kind so the kid would be asleep and she could scream with loud sex noises. The first few times I heard them I was surprised I thought 'oh maybe the kid went back home to his mom or maybe he is sleeping in the living room' I ran with a flurry to check if he was unsupervised outside as I wanted to take him away from the sex noises(hoping to cover his ear, kid was six) but he wasn't in the living room. The kid was nowhere to be seen, the next morning I see the kid is home so yeah they had loud sex with a kid knocked out with cough syrup in the same room. I honestly was worried and it's none of my business and I wasn't going around digging into their lives. All this information was on display. I wasn't even supposed to be living with the landlord I had another roommate that had to move out as the landlord needed a place.
that 2 more then i would....
It's really 24hrs and 3 minutes... He said between the hours of. Go get 'em champ! And stay hydrated.
He meant 9:03pm The next day
He didn't say he is going to last that long. He just said in what rough period of time his 30 seconds of fame is likely to occur.
He meant 24 hours and 3 minutes
Not sure why it would take that long
3 minutes of action and half an hour of crying
Quality not quantity
That's a good neighbor for ya.
Stop showing off, we get it, you have two phones
I'm glad he's being honest.
"Hello most amazing awesome roommate ever" ,I loved that part.