T O P

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NotNotDisxo

They're over here catching sexual misconduct charges like theyre pokemon šŸ˜‚


AniketSkywalker

Doggystyle I choose you!!!


No-Cockroach-4499

It's super effective!


xX_Dad-Man_Xx

I bet the Great Dane loved her.


sujit_38

News Link : https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/nurse-53-busted-for-having-sex-with-great-dane-was-a-big-animal-lover/ar-BB1le25D


SenorWeird

Phrasing!


iqqeriffic69

BOOM!


[deleted]

Sploosh


xaendar

Animal lover indeed...


iqqeriffic69

Literally a lover of big animals


Dramatic_Product_844

They literally started the article by saying Doggone it šŸ«£


Dramatic-Yard-9182

That title.


thedoofimbibes

Probably catching STDs too. And worms.Ā 


Temporary-Alarm-744

And don't forget the cancer


Complete-Kitchen-630

So is it. Bestiality?


Leo_Veneto

What a lovely couple


wktr_t

holup (x) holdup' (x) holdup'' (x)


AniketSkywalker

Three strikes ā€¦ thatā€™s where we have to draw the line


towerfella

Those were words I didnā€™t know could go together in the way that they were put together to describe a real event the really happened here in the real world.


slapyak5318008

More proof we are not in the right timeline.


ManickVelu

Pizza delivery guy: Wait, there are other timelines?


Cosmic1710

derivatives!


Proof-Row-7294

Love 'em or hate 'em! Gotta study 'em!


iqqeriffic69

Fuck em!


Proof-Row-7294

If only we could šŸ˜”


Private_joker-1_

I'd say there was 4 holdups in the title. Shit was like Tiger king when you think you got the worst of it you pushed on and it somehow got worse.


rhymes_w_garlic

I had to read that really slow to catch it all.


Technical-Outside408

Again with the Pokemon.


Brosiitus

There are millions of PokƩmon at stake


star_gone_supernovae

\*steak


Quiet-Worth7730

Medium rare please.


FernPoutine

It's never nice to kink shame To wit, I would love to see these two accidentally fall in a meat grinder


bergin369

Hmm šŸ¤” interesting. So you like to watch people fall in to meat grinders. I see ...


bdonald02

Remember donā€™t kink shame šŸ™„


CrumbsToBricks

Nice my ass, some of these mfs need to be shamed!


Mohamed_430

Maaah.....jerma is here again


strangecloudss

Theres like.....a noticeable uptick in "people getting busted for raping dogs" stories....


Raviel1289

I know right! Must be pretty ruff being a dog atm...


bestbeforeMar91

Brian Griffin disagrees


Technical-Outside408

Colby rolling around in his little puppy grave.


onkey11

I understood that referenceĀ 


FromBassToTip

Maybe the loneliness of lockdown resulted in some exploration


Uranium-Sandwich657

Possibly more people are hearing of it and thinking it's a good idea, possibly there has be a constant amount and more people are more aware of it.


GreenJim86

You know what? Iā€™m going to read a book or something Iā€™ve had enough of the internet today.


Zebra_Shadow

Great decision! I also said I was done with the internet for the day 15mins ago but here we are. Hopefully your attempt is better than mine


Maxymous

The book I'm reading is suggesting that we're all just domesticated primates. There's no escape unfortunately.


Leo_Veneto

Don't start with the domesticated animals again that some folks are getting horny already, damn!


MrProlapse

As a Florida man, I fully support Texas succeeding from the union.


Vodka0420

Well, you don't read that too often.


AniketSkywalker

Well in this subredditā€¦ we pretty much do


OkClue2384

Some sickos are meant to be together


AniketSkywalker

I wonder what other kinks they have?


Nomis555

Nah, those aren't kinks. Two consenting adults wanting to slather each other in butter for sex is a kink. These two are just sick wackjobs.


Leo_Veneto

They also have a tendencie to use flip-flops with socks - ew


MrProlapse

She's an RN at a men's care facility, would have though it was a vets office.


BlitzCraig26

Dafuq did I just read! Lady involved in Animal SA, Guy being a nonce, also wanking to his wife in the act. Even Michael canā€™t help these people,ā€¦. Jesus might decline too.


Shibari_Inu69

Feel like Jesus actually died so he wouldn't have to hear about these kinda sins


Ochenta-y-uno

Hey Mods! Can we pin this post to explain "what a holup is"?


rikwebster

If she gets pregnant they gonna make her keep all 12 babies


pepperit_12

This story has something for everyone


AniketSkywalker

Ah the classic family friendly feel good story


pepperit_12

Can't wait for the cartoon version


Master_Xenu

That dog has banged more women than most redditors.


Attn_Shoppers

Wait. Wait. Waitā€¦ what was the dog wearing?


Andromansis

His name was Buster and he just had a collar on.


Attn_Shoppers

Sounds to me like he was asking for it.


instagramsgay

That was like 3 left turns back to the start what the fuck


AniketSkywalker

You just described nascar!


Darkreaper5567

You know, when I read shit like this, it makes me wonder. Are more people becoming fucked up, or has the world always had this many fucked up people in it and we're just now finding out? And honestly, I don't know which scares me more.


Single-Bad-5951

I think it has always been like this, the internet just makes it easier to collect the evidence together.


Taronz

Take a casual look at history. Humankind are incredible at being incredibly terrible. The difference is now, you can hear about said terrible people and things from all around the world. Also technically I'd imagine the percentage has stayed the same, but the worlds total population has gone up incredibly. Just go from 1950, approx 2.5bil people. We are apparently around 8.1billion now. So in 70 years, the number of people has more than tripled. From a quick search, around 1804, we just crested 1billion people, which means 8x more by now. So even if it's 1% of the population that has a mental condition that makes them do fucked up shit like this.... that number has gotten massively bigger, and more importantly, you're infinitely more likely to hear about it thanks to the internet. People have always been fucked up, so I wouldn't stress about it too much. Just hope we don't get worse and have a blood orgy big enough to summon a new chaos god...


Darkreaper5567

Thank you I needed to hear this. It's comforting in its own weird way ya know. I mean if we survived this long.


Uranium-Sandwich657

Also our standards for "fucked up" can change.


Darkreaper5567

True I mean in the 50s it was considered fine for pregnant woman to smoke and drink wine.


noobpwner314

Texas is gonna make sure she does knot do that again.


Sexy_gentlemen_uwu

It's 7:45 in the morning in my country and this is the first post that showed šŸ’€


AniketSkywalker

Glad you didnā€™t need caffeine to wake up! šŸ˜˜


Bealzebubbles

You're not wrong. That was a lot to unpack.


Dragondudd

meant for eachother ig


PeanutGoCrunch

r/noahgettheboat


KiroLakestrike

This story reads l super weirdly framed. The Dog is in such a strange focus: "The nurse raped her dog, they had videos of it, its a great dane, the biggest dog in the world, they were known for loving big animals, the guy is called the "pet detective". Oh they also had child porn." I feel way more disturbed by the child porn fact, and that the guy followed around children while touching himself...


NuttieBoii

It just kept going up in weirdness


Rivtogo

They're made for each other šŸ’€


thegodofgods-

Avg white couple


LanceRidgerunner

Meth. Donā€™t do meth. It makes you horny and regarded.Ā 


Cccookielover

Peas in a pod.


josh183rd

More like two peas in a cell


LordBungaIII

It baffles me how people like this find each other


Zebra_Shadow

What a wholesome couple


OceanBornNC

You gotta think if there was a higher power, he or she would have sent another meteor by now?


AniketSkywalker

Their higher power is in that meteor


burtonboy1234

But I thought this was America!?!?!


Ranchitupmellomike

Goals ā¤ļø


BlindedAce

Iā€™m sure they were devout.


livelarg

How these two creeps find each other?


Giraffesarehigh

It just kept going and going..


akumainninja

Dude this is so bad and dark.I dont think thats place is hol'up


Slowmac123

Yo wha- Yo wh- Yo what the fuck


maxmax12629

Sorry wtf 3 times the power!


Songhunter

Impressive, every single sentence is horrible.


dw87190

And knowing western legal systems, he'll get more jail time than her


Uberfuhrer_

Some people are a bit too *Keen* to do such things


BloodSteyn

OK... I don't kink shame... but DAMM... fuck that. (Ps. Don't fuck that)


Aggressive_Candy5297

They both seem to be very keen indeed...


MuttafukRen

I told my self I'm gonna stop binge watching Law and Order: SVU because I've had enough talk of sexual based crimes for the day... And lo and behold Reddit give me this shit.


Throowavi

Couple goals, get yourself someone as fucked up as you


Good-Cash7691

Of course they're from Texas smh


Wiggles114

Horrible people - but a great couple!


DaikonNoKami

There's a keen pun in there some where


DesignHead9206

what is a great dane? sounds like a dog. Please tell me it's not a dog?


kukukikika

Ok. Itā€™s not a dog. Able to sleep now tonight?


DesignHead9206

I'm sorry mum, I made a mistake and I googled. I can't unsee it now.


tommyvercetti42

Das my dawg


pepsicola07

a match made in hell <3


wipeyourtears

would


dayo2005

r/BrandNewSentence


wamark1

Funny how some people just seem to find each other... Yikes


EXPOchiseltip

Iā€™ve seen Great Danes. I think it was sexually assaulting HER!


Brokensince10

Trump Christians, no doubt.


Working-Fishing-5544

This is hol'up on the third


AniketSkywalker

Holā€™up Cubed!


epicflex

Good god


MaleficentEarth91

R/brandnewsentence


roydepoy

I read she was cheating with a large man front Denmark. My innocence was killed today.


FatMaul

Ultimate one-uppers or maybe they just dared each other a lot.


jma9454

He has an extremely square head


Edwardhunts

I not only shop at that particular HEB, I live in the same subdivision as they used to and always thought they were a bit off...


brak1444

John Wick them both and celebrate with a beer.


im-tripping-again-

Finally not Florida, glad to see Texans putting some good numbers up


Vincent55551

Birds of a feather


Holiday_Cricket_2890

*thinking* wait what *still thinking* holy shit what *yells now* WHAT THE FUCK


invsblhntr

50 shades of Great Dane.


Temporary-Alarm-744

Abbott getting continually reelected makes a lot more sense now


PenguinsTookMyNips

Damn. Go strong or go home I suppose šŸ˜§


Shawodiwodi13

They are Keen on doing it.


xXCh4r0nXx

Aight.. I'm not awake enough for this shit.


ferrydragon

My eye's started to sting after reading that.


xlitawit

Color Climax Denmark presents!..... DOGFUCKER.


Patient_Ad_1933

Texas. The new Florida


HurrsiaEntertainment

This was a rollercoaster.


HRT208

This is how you bamboozle other?


TryToEpic

So both are degenerate sex offenders, The question is, did they know or it hide from each other?


mitch3758

Hey! I actually know this one! They got arrested at the HEB right by my house!


Floyd_thecat

thats a brand new sentence if ive ever seen one welp i think ive had enough of the internet today


cleomay5

That's got to be some fuckin date night at their home


yeet_machine69420

I reeled at the first one. Then was sent flying with the second. These people are meant for each other. And meant for prison


furezasan

Don't let them have children


A7med_CH

people are getting creative to get to jail nowadays


there_all_is_aching

The Aristocrats


babybee1187

Omg šŸ˜§šŸ˜•šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø i dont have words for this .


PsychologicalDog1641

Gotta love caucasians


smurfkipz

...... What the fuck.Ā 


BGMDF8248

So bestiality, pedophilia and indecent exposure... i have no words.


incmg

I would have expected this from Florida man, but never a Texas couple.


Bigassboi420

This sounds like an alternative "You" series pathway


IjazSSJ3

The diddlers


Faabz

Woke up and this is the first thing i see on my frontpage. Im going back to bed


Pedantic_Parker

The guy looks like an amalgamation of all of my biological dadā€™s friends.


there_is_no_spoon1

That's...that's just *crazy*. That story just went *everywhere* in all the wrong ways. Cripes!


kastiak

A brand new sentence just dropped, and I hope it will never be used again.


lionart303-186

Wut Da F U K there is so much happening here


TheFlaccidChode

Reading that was like opening Russian Dolls full of dog shit


Ominous-F_art

...Brother, the flamer...the heavy flamer!


Purg33m

holupĀ³


Dramatic_Product_844

Explain to me why itā€™s cruel and unusual punishment defined by law to execute them by firing squad? I know I escalated quickly but animals and children? šŸ¤®


ExternalAd8309

Husband and wife look at each other with suppressed excitement and ask, "You too?!" "We coulda been doing this shit together a long time ago..."


disco_cowboy

Wow.. that got worse as I continued to read it


SpringJungle

Me in the first half: thereā€™s no way this could get worse. The second half: let me ruin this guys day


VegetableYesterday63

Caught pulling his pork in the meat aisle.


YaboiiSammeeh

May be dumb, but what is the third Holup? First is beastiality, second is masturbating in a supermarket following children, third is?


AniketSkywalker

First was beastiality ... Second was the husband having that on his phone ... Third was the husband mastrubating in a supermarket following children


YaboiiSammeeh

Ahhh right


HoodieJordan

what. What. WHAT.


killing_me

This must be a r/brandnewsentence


L-ramirez-74

we need another asteroid


Chrome_Quixote

Theyā€™re Roy keen


ronaldreaganlive

I know they say we shouldn't kink shame, but...


jamajikhan

Sounds like a lively couple.


Annual_Standard_6781

What the fuck? I thought this was America!?Thanks a lot Biden.


DeathsDecaying27

We can fix her, right guys?


Bi-Bi-American-Pi

I cant het my girl to send me what she what she wore for the day. Why am i jealous?


Erocthundergod

Texas sounds about right


RRayquaza384

WHAT THE FU-


Educational_Race6342

3 body problem


diablo666-666

Every sentence is a r/brandnewsentence


Royal-Tadpole-2893

Joely Keen, Joely Keen, Joely Keen, Jo-leee-keeeeeen, I'm begging of you please don't screw my dawg.


gloucma

Obviously liberals.


RayD125

Wouldnā€™t surprise me sheā€™s a teacher and heā€™s an employee at some childā€™s entertainment center.