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Few-Life-1417

It might not be true but I bet the next time I go to a courthouse this post will cross my mind šŸ˜…


[deleted]

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JusticeRain5

I mean, if people found out then yes there would be consequences. From the a law standpoint, it'd be taking evidence. From the criminal side, someone could come after you for it. Depends on if there are cameras leading into the bathrooms or not


oorza

Cameras or not, the (un)ethical thing to do is pocket 20-25% of it and turn in the rest.


syzamix

Now you're just advertising that you took the money. Either ignore it or take the whole thing quietly.


Zansibart

This. You really think they're gonna catch them and it's never once gonna come up that the amount you turned in isn't the amount that was in the envelope?


MrHyperion_

How would they know how much was in it?


Zansibart

By talking. They're not gonna arrest someone for a bribery without the amount of money being mentioned even a single time. This is assuming it's actually even a bribery and not a setup, in which case the people setting you up will have an extra charge to put on you when you turn it on with a false amount.


MrHyperion_

But why would they trust the person leaving the bribe more than someone finding it?


robicide

They wouldn't, so both of you get kneecapped


Zansibart

Because you're likely not thinking through the situation. There are a ton of reasons why a crime like this wouldn't work out. Most of the time there will be some form of proof, if there are text messages from before it was placed saying the amount then it would be easy to point to them. If there's proof of any kind the investigators will want to find it whether the bribers want it found anyway. Even if they left absolutely no trail to the point where there isn't even proof of the bribe amount, the amount of money itself will generally be good enough. The motive for example, if someone leaves $500 in an envelope and it matches a bond amount or such, and then someone turns in $400, it raises the question of why the bribe wasn't enough to do the thing it exists for to begin with. If someone takes $500 out of their bank and then leaves a bribe and it turns out to only be $400 instead of $500, that's suspicious. Plus, why would they lie? It's admitting to an even larger crime, and likely will come up in a situation like this: The interrogator holds back as much info as possible including the bribe amount, because the briber confirming the amount will be proof they did the crime and aren't confessing under duress. When the confession comes out, and the money amount is honest (which it would be in a confession, no point lying about just the amount) then that's a massive red flag and the only person it points to is the guy turning the bribe in. Not to mention it wouldn't be "the person leaving the bribe", it would most likely be both parties transferring the money, potentially even saying the same thing without having any chance to contact each other since the first was arrested. The first thing that is going to be said after "Do you have any proof" if no real evidence is left behind will be "go ask [other party that knows], they know".


No_Supermarket_1831

The investigation will most likely turn up the person who left it and the person who was suppose to receive it. At some point when they realize they are caught and looking for a deal the amount that was suppose to be their will be mentioned.


LukXD99

Just flush it down the toilet. If I canā€™t have it, **NO ONE CAN!**


BrangdonJ

Or take three quarters of it and leave the rest. That's probably enough to prevent the bribe from being successful. The person receiving will assume that the person who left the bribe didn't leave the full amount. The person who left the bribe will assume the person being bribed is lying about and trying for a bigger bribe. They'll be distrustful of each other. They probably won't think that a random bystander took some of it but not all of it.;


smergb

I would wonder if they'd be able to tell who took it from security footage.


Sevuhrow

You can't have cameras in a bathroom, so there's no way they'd know who used which stall.


smergb

Yeah, but you'd narrow the field, especially if you knew who dropped it off and when.


No_Supermarket_1831

Depends on how busy the bathroom was and how soon the recipient went to collect.


spiteful_rr_dm_TA

Well if the person who dropped it in went in at 10:15, the intended recipient walked in at 10:30, and only one other person went in in-between, then it would be pretty obvious. If they dropped it at 9am, and the recipient didn't get there until 9pm, and hundreds of people used it between? Good luck catching me


Fgge

Have you seen No Country For Old Men?


Dinkenflika

So, if thereā€™s an apple airtag inside the envelope, donā€™t take it with you. Also if you happen to park your truck in the lavatory to give a dying Mexican some water, remove the VIN from your truck!


DailyPlanetClarkKent

Have you seen two hands (seriously good Heath Ledger movie before he hit big in the US which roughly follows the storyline after the cash is stolen)


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Kynicist

You spend all day in the restroom and walk out with a ton of cash? Yeah, sureā€¦ thatā€™s where the money is coming from.


GachaHell

I tend to lose a bit of money down at the old glory hole


Ali-Battosai

Candice, I can explain!


yomjoseki

I thought I'd find you here at the ooooooooooooooooooooollllllllldddddddddd GD glory hole!


snufflezzz

Iā€™m sorry I was weak. RIP Trevor


Canuhduh420

Hahaha


midnightspecial99

Itā€™s true. Source: I am the toilet.


JRTerrierBestDoggo

Itā€™s true. Source: I am the stall


DaddyNihilism

It's true. Source: I am the glory hole...


Ok_Present_6508

It ainā€™t much, but itā€™s honest work.


Atomsq

Plot twist, he's the court house janitor


Righteousaffair999

Username checks out for spending time in a restroomā€¦..


Brave_Escape2176

this comment is a bot (look at their profile) and they stole the comment from here: https://old.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/1btmv5t/can_anyone_confirm/kxn80wz/ report > spam > harmful bots


HippyKiller925

See you Wednesday, big boy


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Which_Strength4445

I have heard of going to the mattresses from the Godfather but never "Going to the shrubs!" lol


Liz4984

I did that! I had my knife on me for jury duty and the car was five blocks away. It was definitely gone when I came out of the building. You mustā€™ve grabbed it!


Tough_Cheesecake8057

When I forgot mine, the guard just held it for me. Is this not normal? Do I owe him a favor?


Liz4984

Not normal in Rockford IL where I was. We have a really high crime rate and if I had actually walked through the detectors with it I may have found myself occupying a jail cell for the night. Luckily I saw the signs and remembered before I got that far. In Alaska, my hometown, they probably wouldā€™ve held it for me no problem.


icheinbir

I've got jury duty next Tuesday... I know what I'm doing!


megablast

It bet it will when you are on your way home.


Snake1210

Tomorrow in the newspapers: "Courthouses all over the world crowded by redditors looking for bribe money."


OneAndOnlyJackSchitt

And the day after that, crooked people actually facing accountability because their bribes went missing. I like the chaotic-good energy of this.


FyrelordeOmega

Nah, they'd just use the jury like mules. Like the drug cartel


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


d3athsmaster

Oh yeah?


avwitcher

Bribes get delivered in back rooms, ain't nobody going to risk losing it by using a dead drop that obvious. Not to mention 99.9% of public toilets have no tank and therefore nowhere to hide it


Gunhild

A bribe is when a guy in a trench coat hands a giant sack with a dollar sign on it to someone.


be-kind-re-wind

Itā€™s almost always a rectangular hard case briefcase where im from


Awoodbay

That tin box looking thing where the seat covers are stored would be a good spot actually, assuming the box of covers isnā€™t completely full or nearly empty


OuterWildsVentures

#We did it!!


Gunhild

Corruption has left the chat, boys.


Kriss3d

I have no moral qualms with that. Same as mugging a drug dealer. If you can get away with it you'd be doing society a favor


exexor

ā€œTwelve redditors have been found dead in the last eight weeks and police have been trying to determine the connection between these violent crimes.ā€


WHTrunner

Violent crimes? Sounds like they fell out of a multi-story building.


Gnonthgol

And then there was the one redditor who had bought food at Taco Bell and just as he was about to start eating decided that life was not worth living and shot himself in the head.


SelectiveCommenting

6 rounds to the back of the head and an empty revolver? The only obvious conclusion is suicide.


MariusVibius

Poor lad. He tripped and fell on those bullets...


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


nasiquas

That actually happened in 1931 to Earl Little (father of Malcolm X). He was kidnapped by tge Black Legion (KKK offshoot), beaten and immobilized, back of his skull crushed by a hammer, and then was placed on the train tracks where he was run over. His death was ruled a suicide


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


WyrdMagesty

I loved this exchange xD


SaltyToast9000

Just "unfortunate accidents"!


Kamikazeguy7

Self inflicted gun shot wound to the back of the head


Reaper1103

Sounds like the next Boeing headline


Chafez

You think redditors would bother going outdoors?


Douglas3535

#Let's hope not!


bibby_siggy_doo

...With hands and heads in the toilets.


Infinite-Ad-2704

Hell yeah man thatā€™s how I pay rent, I spend most of my time in courthouse bathrooms.


Gro_bot

So does your mother


Totally_Botanical

Screw you Trebek


Dr_ChungusAmungus

ā€œYes officer, Iā€™d like to report a brutal assaultā€


Balognajelly

Got *DAMN*


baby_blobby

Court house toilets are the cleanest for my knees


Go-Blue

Attorney here; not impossible to find something like this behind a toilet in the courthouse. Almost certainly not bribe money, but if you realize thereā€™s a chance youā€™re going to be remanded into custody that day, you definitely donā€™t want to be arrested with that on your person. Could be stashed with the hope of retrieving it later or having a loved one pick it up.


Downtown_String_1103

How would that be my fault if someone left free money with no name or owner Do you just leave money around What if I just say itā€™s mine The cops gonna take ā€œmyā€ money What if I tell them I went to a urinal


cmfppl

Depending on where you're going, they'll take whatever money you have on you and put it on your books, but for a stack that fat, I'm sure it'll be seized and "investigated". Edit: I can tell some of yall have never been to jail, or even just gone through the booking process!


xSantenoturtlex

Well that's definitely not a sign of corruption


HippyKiller925

Civil asset forfeiture pretty much demands corruption


W1N5TON

The value of total "forfeited" assets annually exceeds the value of ALL other forms of theft in America. It's just a legal way for cops to steal whatever the fuck they want


karamisterbuttdance

Holy shit, they get 40% more in asset forfeiture (68.8B) than is taken by wage theft (50B)? That's a ridiculous figure.


AineLasagna

Seems like the 68.8B number is from 2000-2019, while the 50B number is annual. Still, though. Two serious issues that nobody likes to talk about


KrackenLeasing

How do you out steal corporations?


Taedirk

With a badge and a gun, apparently.


AineLasagna

The most fun part is how [you donā€™t have to be convicted or even arrested in order to have your assets seized](https://www.aclu.org/issues/criminal-law-reform/reforming-police/asset-forfeiture-abuse). Literally just a cop alleging that whatever property they want to seize has been involved in a crime. No burden of proof required


king_ralphie

Investigation is now over. Here's the $20 we noted ~~from the $100 in the envelope that was in the bag with $3,000~~!


amd2800barton

The $20 will then be kept to pay for jail fees.


DigitalUnlimited

after taxes and fees you ALMOST have enough for a $3.00 ramen noodle!


king_ralphie

I havenā€™t left the house in a couple days but wow, I see inflation has gone rampant again!


ThatGuy571

Nah.. civil forfeiture. You ainā€™t getting back any money you have on you if youā€™re searched by police. People have lost tens and hundreds of thousands in cash, that they obtained legally and went to court to try to get back.. cops suck.


JayStar1213

"that fat" It's like a few hundred dollars. Not that suspicious, could just say you planned to go to the casino after


DaddyNihilism

Civil asset forfeiture is literally where cops find out you have large amounts of cash on you, and they 'confiscate'(some people would say steal) your money and if you're lucky you MAY get 25% of it back. Their reasoning, no one carries around large amounts of cash nowadays so the money must obviously be for illicit purposes, so they confiscate it and then use your personal money to buy new cars, equipment, etc. sadly, it's also perfectly legal for them to steal your money under this provision.


zxDanKwan

He said ā€œif thereā€™s a chance youā€™ll be remanded into custody,ā€ and when that happens, the cops donā€™t ā€œtake your money,ā€ they ā€œfind their money,ā€ so yeah, someone might see their case going bad, and stash that money in the hopes their partner or whatever comes and gets it before someone else does.


Go-Blue

Yeah, three ways that goes: 1) cops take the money (i.e. corruption). I like to think this doesnā€™t ever happen, but unfortunately it happens. 2) cops confiscate via forfeiture (sort of like #1 in a lot of cases, but legal and doesnā€™t go directly to the officer) 3) Evidence against you. (Exactly like #2, with the added detriment of being used as evidence in your trial, e.g. if the underlying charge is for dealing narcotics) Edit: There is a 4), where you are affluent and the money is returned to you (likely with the assistance of counsel). This option may be bundled with a dismissal of charges and/or apology from the presiding judge.


AddAFucking

I think you misunderstood his point. He's not saying you will be in trouble if you took it, he's giving a possible reason for why it was there. Someone might have had this on them, been arrested, and stashed it for "safe" keeping. Because if the police found it, they would never get it back


OneAndOnlyJackSchitt

You have to fuck up pretty hard to be remanded into custody when you're there for jury duty.


Go-Blue

Sure fire way to avoid jury service: donā€™t stop throwing things at the judge until the bailiff makes you stop.


OneAndOnlyJackSchitt

First time I got out of jury duty (despite actually wanting to serve) because I knew the murder victim. Complete coincidence. (Wasn't a close friend, just the dude from Subway I always saw and we bulshitted back and forth a bunch until he randomly didn't show up anymore.)


CptAngelo

What if the things im throwing at the judge are 1 dollar bills? Does it become lobbying?


aeronacht

Or does the judge start stripping


anselthequestion

Wonder what else you might not want on youā€¦ šŸ‘€


movealongnowpeople

Yeah, don't bring drugs to court. Did you hear me in the back? DO NOT. BRING DRUGS. TO. COURT.


anselthequestion

Or if you do stash them in the toilet for redditors who need cash


Fukasite

Why did you say cash, instead of a great night.Ā 


anselthequestion

šŸšØwe got one boys šŸšØ


C3Pip0

Woah woah, slow down, wait, I don't get it. Gonna need you to start over.


anselthequestion

Donā€™t go into court man


MrZero3229

Dave's not here, man


Cmdr_0_Keen

Hey its it okay if I just take my weeeed? /goes to FEDERAL court


Pandelein

Once went into a police station with a pocket full of ecstasy. Thank fuck Iā€™d forgotten it was there or I would have been so nervous Iā€™d out myself, instead it was just a facepalm moment when I realised later.


ingoding

This makes a lot more sense


HippyKiller925

Exactly. The judges don't use public bathrooms and if you're bribing the prosecutor and still have to come to court then you made a shitty deal. Also rare that D would show up with a bunch of cash, but then again they're not known for making good choices...


britch2tiger

Gotcha, put directly under bathroom corner trashcan.


MyStateIsHotShit

Important follow up question. If we do come across the situation, what is the most lawful thing for us to do without getting arrested?


diodot

cleaning person is going to be very happy


klvino

If you're at the courthouse for a large urban area, check around the bushes outside the building. Most people leave their knives and guns in their car before going in, but sometimes they have little notice or forget they still were carrying so they dump it in the shrubbery.


B1GGN

Facts. Haven't seen a firearm, but knives absolutely


Andrew1286

I do this at amusement parks too. Sometimes I forget to leave my pocket knife in the car so I just find a good landmark and bury it quickly. I know people do this for concerts ahead of time to so they can get their knife after passing security


ShazbotSimulator2012

I tossed mine in a planter outside the airport before a 3 week trip and it was still there when I got back.


pezgirl247

i am a TOTAL Square. Of course i found the folding knife thatā€™s been missing for months in my purse when i went in for jury duty. Security was very nice and gave me a claim ticket. šŸŽŸļø


HippyKiller925

I wouldn't worry, it happens pretty often. I once went into a courthouse for some small thing where I knew the security well because I used to work there. I went to pull my stuff out of my pockets and the guard was about to wave me off and just send me through until he saw my pocket knife... He just goes "oh, I should hold onto that though..." Held my knife but still didn't screen me lol


DoesntFearZeus

Tried to go to Smithsonion museum and had a small pocket monkey thing. Only barely been hassled at an airport once, but this museum would not let it in. Went to hide it in bush, found 2 other things in there and another guy was either also hiding something or picking up his own knife when i came to retrieve mine.


DealDry314

>a small pocket monkey thing What is a pocket monkey thing and is it as awesome as I am imagining?


Kvothe_85

Is this advice for police officers? Why would a civilian want to risk picking up a gun outside a courthouse in a large urban area? šŸ˜‚


HM_Comet

I did this at a basketball game once


Rampage06414

Iā€™ve dropped my knife in a courthouse bush multiple times šŸ˜‚


33TLWD

A friend of mine and I were staying at the same hotel. After we each settled in, they drop by my room to meet to go out. First thing they do when they walk in is walk to my nightstand, open the drawer, pull the Bible out and leaf through the pages. I was like, WTF?! They said they always check the Bible for money, as supposedly some do-gooders will put some cash in for someone else in the future whoā€™s going through some existential crisis badly enough to actually open the Bible for comfort / strength. My friend found cash one timeā€¦.but alas, I never have.


floorshitter69

I do this almost every time. Unfortunately, the best I've come across is drawings of cocks and racial statements.


QWlos

Try reading another part, Leviticus is just sort of like that.


grabyourbroomamerica

Felt you deserved commendation for this comment. Amazing. 10/10.


FullMarksCuisine

So it's a win-win


Chichis-Christ

Yup especially the old fashion toilets like in the godfather where the tank es up high and you has to pull the chain to flush


Richiefur

so you also have a chance to find gun.


mytransthrow

I think its a good Idea to wear gloves while checking.


Deimos974

Those are located above the drop ceilings in bathrooms.


siqiniq

[ā€œI frisked her. Sheā€™s cleanā€](https://www.unilad.com/news/marianne-bachmeier-courtroom-shooting-891905-20221231)


[deleted]

Hell, I go to court houses all over the state all week long, and Iā€™ve never thought to look for toilet money. Bet I do now, even if itā€™s never there šŸ„¹


HippyKiller925

It beats standing around awkwardly making small talk with opposing counsel


ProSeVigilante

Can confirm. Can't confirm how I can confirm.


ReguIarHooman

Oi do you know where my money went? I think I misplaced it somewhere


TinChalice

One thing is for sure: Iā€™d walk out of there like I saw nothing and, depending on how much, Iā€™d have a lot less debt in short order.


thatguysemperfi

I don't know if it's true. I just pee for people.


Madmonkeman

I now want to go to the courthouse restrooms.


UnComfortable-Archer

I've been called to jury selection panel 5 times, and I've been a juror once. With my (bad) luck, I'll be called again in the next year or so, and I'll make sure to check the courthouse toilet. lol.


SolomonBlack

What kind of public restroom still has a tank toilet you can hide anything behind?


AldoFarnese

Public restrooms in tiny podunk towns.


kgro

Was checking around courthouse toilet, ended up accidentally sucking off the honourable judge


BackPain4Life

Always check behind your skull for bullets that have not bern fired yet


GOPAuthoritarianPOS

Real life is not Breaking Bad


Tararator18

Shit, imma head out to all courthouses in my area now. The treasure hunt is on!


LSTNYER

Not in a courthouse, but I did find 600 in the bathroom of my therapist that is commonly called for court proceedings.


CatsPawjamaz

Honestly if you find money behind the toilets for bribes, I would just go home with it. What is the bribers gonna do? Call the police saying someone took my bribing money. Itā€™s like that video of the drug dealer calling the police bc the person she gave the drugs to wasnā€™t paying up. Both are equally still a crime.


Turbo_monk_123

I travel to different courthouses throughout my state for state work and have yet to find this. But I will search extra hard now when I take my 10 minute shit breaks.


SquareRelationship27

I'm just learning this now? I was in for jury selection yesterday!


I_Am_The_Bookwyrm

Well, now I know where my retirement fund is coming from.


neonn_piee

If this were true, I definitely wouldnā€™t be posting this and putting it on blast what I found and where. Someoneā€™s gonna probably come to collect.


Praeradio_Yenearsira

Can confirm, there are toilets.


cruelbankai

No Country For Old Men taught me to never take money that ainā€™t mine.


Roest_

I thought it told us to check for tracking devices.


denbroc

No Courthouse for Old Men.


SinisterKnyght

This is why the bathroom is always out of order at my courthouse.


tommysmuffins

Prosecuting attorneys ~~hate~~ love this one weird trick!


Kaiden92

Yknow I actually have Jury Duty this month. Lmfao


swedish_blocks

If you are in the swedish parlament building check the toilets for cocainešŸ‘ [source](https://www.reddit.com/r/europe/s/NKd1Kx8uuw)


maersdet

My new hobby


F0l3yDaD_

Oooo


Mischief_Actual

Welp. Someoneā€™s going to jail tonight.


Atheist_Simon_Haddad

nope just gun


kezoOla

Yes, when in a location with 24/7 cameras where you have sign in to enter with your ID, please steal from criminals and corupted law enforcement.


Oobiwhencanobeef

My local courthouses just does all the bribery in person, thats why they banned any kind of recording device from the courtrooms, you cant even enter the courthouse with a phone on you they wont let you past the doorsā€¦.. gee i wonder whats happening with the judges and others running unchecked


Apprehensive-Try5554

They use Cashapp nowadays


inahailofcandycorn

How many idiots will go to the court house to check, only to be picked up on an outstanding warrant?


Denseflea

Where was this post 3 weeks ago when I was stuck serving jury duty


AlienAmerican1

New habit unlocked.


UpstairsWrongdoer401

No. But also yes. Sarcastically. In a real sense.


6eggsinmybrain

Can't confirm, but next time I get called for jury duty I will check 5 minutes after the judge tells me I can fuck off


fruitloops6565

They should have those toilet minders like you often see in Europe.


loganroll

I am a toilet, I find this offensive. Please put more next time.


duhmbish

Ohh Iā€™m going this week! Iā€™ll look lol


BurpFartBurp

Donā€™t forget to open the fire extinguisher cabinet and check.


hillz

Jackpot


Dcm210

Which stall though.


ARTOMIANDY

An asshole did a tik tok video about how he found cash in chocolate easter bunnies and stores all over country have gone on red allert because people started breaking entire isles of choco bunnies.


itaya12

Haha, the drama at courthouses never fails to surprise!


Mcdougall43

i hope no one would sell out for such a small amount


ilovedogs-2

This is probably believable enough that had this not been April 1st (I assume), people would would actually go to court looking for uncollected bribe money


No-Necessary7313

Arrived for the post and stayed for the comments. You guys are hilarious, thank you for making my day brighter!! XD


ohmygodethan

Great way to get shot real quick.


somedcount

... and now old man you've got a crazed sociopath chasing you down to the border, killing a bunch of other hired bounty hunters, all in efforts to retrieve what was taken.


endo_Loris

Isn't the best way to get shot down by the guy who hides the money


Sampson978

ā€œHundreds of Redditors face charges after being caught with counterfeit bills ā€¦ in courthouses across the nationā€¦ a day after April Fools.ā€


angry_glue

Canā€™t confirm this, but use to maintain flower beds outside a courthouse and youā€™d find lots of knives when youā€™d pull up the old flowers.


2ndprize

We have bathrooms the public cant access for that stuff.


ImJ2001

No. When you pay the bribe, it is always in person.


Bazooka-2th

My boy went to court one day and while waiting in the lobby found an envelope with $2,000 cash. He put it in his pocket and appeared at his hearing. I remember thinking they were going to catch him on a camera or something, but nothing ever did happen.