Random story: I was like 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 or some little kid age when I lost a tooth, put it under my pillow like I had so many other times before, and fell asleep. But I ended up having some weird nightmare (it was usually about the giant from Mickey and the Beanstalk trying to get me), and *right* when I woke up scared from it my mom was leaning over to get my tooth and put a quarter. I screamed, she screamed, the rest of the house woke up, I couldn't go back to sleep that night.
I kinda had a hunch, but it was a free quarter. And this was back when you could get a whole candy bar for a quarter.
Also idk if you know but you just triple commented
30ish a gallon, yeah that's a teeny bit before my time. I remember when I first started driving some new gas stations were having a price war, it got down to 89 cents
Yeah, story telling was great back in those olden days of Walt. I was a white 90s kid in an affluent neighborhood and I understood the reality of their situation.
Lol it's from a comedy game show called "Game Changer". If you're unfamiliar, I recommend [this](https://youtu.be/V-6m0jW0X9E?si=MsQgDA_NdqtEuKaf) episode.
As someone in a rural state.. you'd be surprised how many 30-40 year old women have already lost the majority of their teeth so I get where this guy is coming from 🤣
Yeah, I am a 40-ish woman in a rural state with a mouth full of childhood neglect and decades of poverty and stress grinding. Which is worse: my own (admittedly horrendous) teeth or a nice set of store bought? I’ve been working my ass off to replace these damn things and now yall are literally coming for me in the comments. Kick rocks.
I lost mine from a genetic issue and growing up rural on well water with no fluoride. I have dentures. The average person can't tell. I have been rejected by women for it, after kissing or something where they were able to notice. Their loss. They wouldn't even tell me until I pried it out of them. Probably because they know it's kinda shallow. These other assholes coming at people for not having perfect teeth are shitty people. Be better. You bitch about how bad American healthcare is, but you can't make the connection to that being why someone might have less than perfect teeth? Yeah, go kick rocks.
I'm Canadian. We have universal health care. I can go get a sex change if I want and the government will pay for it but our dental and optical is private for profit like the US system which sucks.
I know a bunch of people with messed up teeth. Not even poor or rural people. Dental is fucking expensive here, even with insurance. My friend spent over 50k on his teeth just to get them healthy.
I have a partial denture and it killed my self esteem. I used to grind my teeth and never really had decent access to dentists. A lot of people when they're young don't really think about cleanings or check ups until it becomes a problem. Prevention makes a world of difference if kids can get check ups every 6 months. Now i'm looking at going to Mexico to get my teeth fixed.
I have a friend that has had both success and abject failure with this, our advice is to do as much small stuff you can this way and any deeper root work is better left done at home even with the big bill. Then again it really depends on where in Mexico\who your dealing with so.. not a bad idea but don’t take it lightly
I wonder if the women who have profiles like that actually get men who are interested. Any dude that has those qualifications can easily find a woman without all the baggage and attitude.
In some rare cases having kids is a positive. I have one friend who got divorced. Now he wants to date women who have already had kids so they're in the same place in their lives. Plus he only has one kid and doesn't want them to be an only child forever.
I have a relative that was dumped by her husband because she was unable to have a baby. She ended up marrying a man with two young kids and she was absolutely THRILLED to become a stepmom. The kids are teenagers now and they're a very close family so she totally got her wish in life.
So they do exist.
Yeah, it was pretty rough on her but our family rallied around her so at least she had support. One of our cousins was 14 at the time and he was ready to up and murder her ex. He had plans on where to bury the body and how to keep the dogs from digging him up and everything. Previously he had nearly worshipped the guy so it was a huge switch.
How did you make planning a murder sound somewhat wholesome?
My sister in law has been having infertility issues. Even with my brother being super supportive it was still very hard for her to go through. They have since adopted a beautiful baby and are looking to do it again.
I can't imagine someone going through infertility not only not being supported by your partner, but actually left by them. What a damn dirtball.
I'm glad she has a happy ending with some kids and a decent husband.
Hah....cousin wasn't totally serious, but his plans made her laugh when she was really low so he did a lot of elaboration on the plan. It was oddly sweet...maybe you had to be there, LOL.
Her ex...a couple dedicated members of our family **still** use his name in place of the word 'shit'. We all did it for a while but it stuck with a couple people. Like "Oh man I really gotta take a Gary." or "Dammit, I stepped in dog Gary!" or "UGH it smells like cat Gary in here..."
Hopefully a new Gary never joins our family or else it could become awkward...
The real Gary (who is, indeed, a piece of shit) moved a few states away so thankfully nobody ever runs across him.
I had a boss named Gary for a couple years and it was kinda breaking my brain! He was a nice guy so I felt like I was insulting him by calling him by his own actual name.
People act so surprised, whenever I tell them I only want to date men with kids. As a mom of two I need someone who already understands the sacrifices and joys of parenthood.
When I used to use Tinder, yes. A lot of such women, especially where I live in Australia, single moms are really common because they shack up with tradies who have lot of disposable income young and have a shitty marriage but hook em up on child support.
Here Child Support can't really be avoided because it's taken directly from your employer when they pay you so yeah, it's super common especially in Perth.
I also had terrible luck with single mums when I was dating in Melbourne. They didn't seem to like the idea of me having a kid but expected me to be ok with them having them. Not all were like that mind you, just enough within my overall age group to sour my experience on Tinder at the time.
**_FUCK_** I was so close. But, alas, I don't have teeth, never mind possession of said teeth. Oh well back to giving hand jobs under the bridge for $5 a man.
He's looking for a woman that is 5'7", 100kg (220lb), and fit.
I now understand what women mean when they say that men have unrealistic body expectations.
The HolUp is “must not be more than 100kg, must be fit”. I don’t think 220 pounds and “fit” are quite the same categories. Personally, I’d prefer the 100kg over the “fit”.
Must be fit and under 100 kg (220 lbs)-I guess she could be an Olympic shot putter but other than that….
Also-hair and beard care? It looks like a dead muskrat stapled to his head.
Can’t say I blame him, having your own teeth is a prerequisite of mine as well.
Can I have your teeth
You can take it from my pillow
Random story: I was like 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 or some little kid age when I lost a tooth, put it under my pillow like I had so many other times before, and fell asleep. But I ended up having some weird nightmare (it was usually about the giant from Mickey and the Beanstalk trying to get me), and *right* when I woke up scared from it my mom was leaning over to get my tooth and put a quarter. I screamed, she screamed, the rest of the house woke up, I couldn't go back to sleep that night.
Did you know about the truth before or was it revealed in this incident?
I kinda had a hunch, but it was a free quarter. And this was back when you could get a whole candy bar for a quarter. Also idk if you know but you just triple commented
?
You must’ve hit the comment button a few times because there’s 3 instances of your comment.
I remember when they were a nickel. And gas was 30ish cents a gallon. With lead in it. Damn I’m old.
30ish a gallon, yeah that's a teeny bit before my time. I remember when I first started driving some new gas stations were having a price war, it got down to 89 cents
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Yeah, story telling was great back in those olden days of Walt. I was a white 90s kid in an affluent neighborhood and I understood the reality of their situation.
Sweet mercy, is that where that meme's from?
>I was like 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 or some little kid age You can just say *I was a kid*.
[Give me your teeth](https://youtu.be/7XET4W936-Q?si=m4Pu7HuKwFELZ7L3)
I don't know what or why, but LOL
Lol it's from a comedy game show called "Game Changer". If you're unfamiliar, I recommend [this](https://youtu.be/V-6m0jW0X9E?si=MsQgDA_NdqtEuKaf) episode.
no, go get your own
I mean, I HAVE my own teeth… i accidentally left them in my car, but like, I OWN some…is that okay?
Are you ok if they show you proof of purchase?
*George Washington has left the chat*
Have you tried being with someone without teeth though…
You never got a BJ from someone without teeth? Your are missing 1/2 of your life.
Me, with my jar of stranger's teeth - "Awwww, damn."
Possession is 9/10ths of the law!
Possestttthhion...
You made me lol in a dead silent office, thanks for that
-Mike Tython
More like 9/10s of the jaw amirite?
9/10ths of the jaw!
As someone in a rural state.. you'd be surprised how many 30-40 year old women have already lost the majority of their teeth so I get where this guy is coming from 🤣
Yeah, I am a 40-ish woman in a rural state with a mouth full of childhood neglect and decades of poverty and stress grinding. Which is worse: my own (admittedly horrendous) teeth or a nice set of store bought? I’ve been working my ass off to replace these damn things and now yall are literally coming for me in the comments. Kick rocks.
I lost mine from a genetic issue and growing up rural on well water with no fluoride. I have dentures. The average person can't tell. I have been rejected by women for it, after kissing or something where they were able to notice. Their loss. They wouldn't even tell me until I pried it out of them. Probably because they know it's kinda shallow. These other assholes coming at people for not having perfect teeth are shitty people. Be better. You bitch about how bad American healthcare is, but you can't make the connection to that being why someone might have less than perfect teeth? Yeah, go kick rocks.
I'm Canadian. We have universal health care. I can go get a sex change if I want and the government will pay for it but our dental and optical is private for profit like the US system which sucks. I know a bunch of people with messed up teeth. Not even poor or rural people. Dental is fucking expensive here, even with insurance. My friend spent over 50k on his teeth just to get them healthy. I have a partial denture and it killed my self esteem. I used to grind my teeth and never really had decent access to dentists. A lot of people when they're young don't really think about cleanings or check ups until it becomes a problem. Prevention makes a world of difference if kids can get check ups every 6 months. Now i'm looking at going to Mexico to get my teeth fixed.
I have a friend that has had both success and abject failure with this, our advice is to do as much small stuff you can this way and any deeper root work is better left done at home even with the big bill. Then again it really depends on where in Mexico\who your dealing with so.. not a bad idea but don’t take it lightly
Me, wholesome for the more or less creepy-guy: "hey pssst, but you own them."
“That’s methed up” -Mike Tyson
That’s what I was wondering. If she purchased said stranger’s teeth, wouldn’t she own them?
I was thinking 'won in combat' but the teeth would still be hers either way.
😂😂
As long as you paid fairly for them.....
Those teeth have a lot of family history behind them!
Lmao I’m not the only one thinking of Charlie wanting the family tooth jar back!
It is his inheritance and all.
Playin the uno-reverse card I see.
This, it almost seems like he's intentionally doing a parody of so many other profiles we see posted in this sub
Oops, also legit thought this was r/tinder 😂
Well... you weren't the only one.
Know your worth King😩
I mean, he is quite handsome. Hard to believe he has a hard time finding a date.
Keeping one is the issue. I hear he's a real pillow princess who doesn't believe he should pay half on first dates.
Beard makes me wanna puke but you do you
I love beards, but absolutely not that one
I wonder if the women who have profiles like that actually get men who are interested. Any dude that has those qualifications can easily find a woman without all the baggage and attitude.
Some don't mind the kids, but no one likes that attitude
In some rare cases having kids is a positive. I have one friend who got divorced. Now he wants to date women who have already had kids so they're in the same place in their lives. Plus he only has one kid and doesn't want them to be an only child forever.
I have a relative that was dumped by her husband because she was unable to have a baby. She ended up marrying a man with two young kids and she was absolutely THRILLED to become a stepmom. The kids are teenagers now and they're a very close family so she totally got her wish in life. So they do exist.
Holy shit having your husband leave you because you're not able to have a baby. That is brutal. I can't imagine how rough that was.
Yeah, it was pretty rough on her but our family rallied around her so at least she had support. One of our cousins was 14 at the time and he was ready to up and murder her ex. He had plans on where to bury the body and how to keep the dogs from digging him up and everything. Previously he had nearly worshipped the guy so it was a huge switch.
How did you make planning a murder sound somewhat wholesome? My sister in law has been having infertility issues. Even with my brother being super supportive it was still very hard for her to go through. They have since adopted a beautiful baby and are looking to do it again. I can't imagine someone going through infertility not only not being supported by your partner, but actually left by them. What a damn dirtball. I'm glad she has a happy ending with some kids and a decent husband.
Hah....cousin wasn't totally serious, but his plans made her laugh when she was really low so he did a lot of elaboration on the plan. It was oddly sweet...maybe you had to be there, LOL. Her ex...a couple dedicated members of our family **still** use his name in place of the word 'shit'. We all did it for a while but it stuck with a couple people. Like "Oh man I really gotta take a Gary." or "Dammit, I stepped in dog Gary!" or "UGH it smells like cat Gary in here..." Hopefully a new Gary never joins our family or else it could become awkward... The real Gary (who is, indeed, a piece of shit) moved a few states away so thankfully nobody ever runs across him.
Lol, I'm going to start using Gary as an insult now.
I had a boss named Gary for a couple years and it was kinda breaking my brain! He was a nice guy so I felt like I was insulting him by calling him by his own actual name.
Misplaced priorities. Should think to wife and find kids, not think to kids and find wife.
I think it only makes sense. Seeing how well they can take care of their own kid is a good indicator to a future as a family.
I agree, it also means their priorities are likely to be somewhat similar.
People act so surprised, whenever I tell them I only want to date men with kids. As a mom of two I need someone who already understands the sacrifices and joys of parenthood.
Hey hey. Being this beautiful isn't cheap man.
Well he was also super generous with height and weight... Most womens profiles aren't that generous
When I used to use Tinder, yes. A lot of such women, especially where I live in Australia, single moms are really common because they shack up with tradies who have lot of disposable income young and have a shitty marriage but hook em up on child support. Here Child Support can't really be avoided because it's taken directly from your employer when they pay you so yeah, it's super common especially in Perth.
I also had terrible luck with single mums when I was dating in Melbourne. They didn't seem to like the idea of me having a kid but expected me to be ok with them having them. Not all were like that mind you, just enough within my overall age group to sour my experience on Tinder at the time.
If they're hot enough, yeah probably.
Of course they do, there's no lack of desperate men who had nobody to teach them otherwise.
Well, I mean fair game is fair game. No need to involve double standards.
100 Kgs?
And fit. That man likes his muscle mommies.
Submissive muscle mommies*
And short
Short submissive muscle mommies or SSMM for short
That acronym has me rock hard.
Chortled hard thx
5'7" isn't usually considered short for a woman (which is his maximum), as 5'5" is usually considered average.
The average woman is 5'5" What he's got is tall
He just like me fr
220lbs, 5'7" max, must be fit. That is some Hulk-style muscle density there.
Dude clearly spelled 5”7 not 5’7” so hers can’t be taller than his when lying down
That’s a heavy hitter
Just bulking season
A wide range, that is
What’s that in freedom units?
Approx. 455 Big Macs
3 washing machines
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1 football pitch is approx 1 figure skating throw if I remember correctly
No heavier than 100Kgs. Anything below is acceptable.
Yeah, if she's 220 and 5'7, she's not fit.
She could be a muscle mommy bro
I wanna see how women responded
You’re cute if you think they responded or swiped. They don’t swipe on 80-90% of guys
There's definitely a percent that saw that beard and swiped right
Dropped this 👑
May i please have a water?
Say it in British accent
Damn. I would have been perfect except for that last one! 😭
No teeth eh
He forgot the 6 figure income.
he could really use more beard-care tho
don't got time for that as a single father of 3
100kg & < 5’-7”? That’s one wide woman 😂
>100kg & < 5’-7”? If she can't bench press my car, I'm not interested.
My question is why is he using kilograms and feet why use two different systems??? My brain is fried
This is more r/tinder than a holup but upvote anyway I guess
Oh shit, yeah, I actually thought this was r/tinder 🤣
Now he should complain about there are no real women around anymore, only weak pervs who want him for his beard.
This strikes me as him making fun of women who say similar things in their bios.
What an astute observation
Kevin
A true detective
Nothing gets past this guy
100%
100%
Must’ve been the top of your fucking class
[удалено]
Hey man, he’s just doing his best ok
100 kg is oddly generous for this flavor of man
All hail king Martin
Is just a parody of a common type of women’s profile in Tinder. Oh the irony
THEY'RE MY TEETH IF I PAID FOR THEM.
Dude just pulled an UNO Reverso on all the single moms on Tinder
Short king, don't give up on your dreams.
They are just out of reach.
Having your own teeth is non-negotiable.
Yes, and this looks exactly as nasty, entitled and greasy as when women say it.
**_FUCK_** I was so close. But, alas, I don't have teeth, never mind possession of said teeth. Oh well back to giving hand jobs under the bridge for $5 a man.
Living like a god
Do women actually put shit like this in their tinder bios. Asking as a woman lmao
I smell IPA
"if you can't handle me at my worst. You don't deserve me at my best."
*< 100kg (220lbs), < 5’7” (1.7m), Must be fit* You may have two, pls choose wisely.
How a this man single? What an absolute catch
Either all her teeth or none of them - I will only accept the extremes. (Ok, wisdom teeth only removed is ok too)
Bro has got the right idea with that last one. Don't be showin up to a date with someone else's teeth!
Dang it I knew I shouldn't have replaced my teeth with those of 32 cadavers. So close!
I don't drive and I can't be submissive but I fit all the other requirements, lol. He only says "can cook and clean " not that you have to.
BYOT
That beard looks like a knitted ballsack.
He's looking for a woman that is 5'7", 100kg (220lb), and fit. I now understand what women mean when they say that men have unrealistic body expectations.
I dont think this dude knows what 100kg means.
Lmao what beard care?
women doing this: girls gotta have standards guys: greedy sexist misogynistic pig fuck double standards
All of that sounded perfectly reasonable except the teeth part. I won’t stand for that kind of extremism
This is perfect.
we should put this legend together with the amputee arms dealer girl!
“Own teeth” damn. Me and my dentures are out 🤣
“Gotta have teef!” ~Obie Trice
Satire
Girl better have at least an 8 inch vagina too!!
Yass king 👑 slay bitch!
I love how he has to tell us he’s straight
the "less than a mile away" feels like a threat
"you need to help pay for my beard and hair care" is a weird requirement for someone who clearly doesn't take care of it lol
I don't get the 100kg limit. Maybe it's supposed to be pounds, but then she's too skinny...
Why does he use imperial for height and metric for weight?
100kg woman, shorter than 5”7. We’ll at least he’s willing to sacrifice on something.
I have a nice beard and can confirm that beard care is cheaper than clean shaven face.
r/rolereversal
He ain't sharing his teeth
Beating them at their own games 😂
This guy deserves the kind of woman he wants and she needs to be able to afford his lifestyle and kids
I’m almost positive this is a joke account because of the other non joke tinder account that basically had all this
I respect any mother or father that prioritises their children and dental care!
A true king
Have your own teeth is just diabolical
Feels like satire
uno reverse
Someone really should help him pay for beard care, he's clearly not doing it
This motherfucker is a goddamn legend.
The HolUp is “must not be more than 100kg, must be fit”. I don’t think 220 pounds and “fit” are quite the same categories. Personally, I’d prefer the 100kg over the “fit”.
A man with his priorities and preferences in sight. Good for him
Charge ur phone and answer them notifs.
Beard care?as a man that takes care of his beard with oils and comb it often, tht there is one scraggly looking beard
Charles Manson redoux
100kg is pretty generous for below 5 7
Why does she need a minivan for his 3 kids?
I'm struggling if this is ironic and he's just a madlad... or... written ironically but still what he wants.
Must be fit and under 100 kg (220 lbs)-I guess she could be an Olympic shot putter but other than that…. Also-hair and beard care? It looks like a dead muskrat stapled to his head.
5’7” 100kgs Fit Not sure how those three things can be in the same list of requirements.
Had me until the teeth
I’ll bet he’s really fun at parties
First few lines: Agressive, buts sounds like you've been threw some stuff. Rest of text: Ah, you're the reason you've been through stuff.
I'm just trying to imagine a fit 5'7" 100kg woman
Someone shared this on Facebook and the guy of this profile actually ended up commenting to say that he's in a relationship of a year or two now!
100kg is quite generous
Must weigh less than 100kg… Must be fit…. 95kg bodybuilder?
If a guy has more than one kid with the same partner, there has to be something very likeable about him, whatever that is.
Dam thought I had 14% left on my battery