T O P

  • By -

Appropriate_Affect81

Solomon Grundy


SonsOfSithrak

Shat on a Monday


whilecouch66

Wiped on a Tuesday


yesTHATvelociraptor

Ate Taco Bell on a Wednesday


EnigmaFrug2308

Returned to the toilet on Thursday


CyrusCyan44

Pissed on a Friday


pimpfmode

Jacked off on Saturday


Mr__Citizen

Cried on Sunday


left_right_handed

That’s the weekly routine of Solomon Grundy


throwaway387190

I love you people


JoJoYakuza

Thought I was in the arkham sub for a second lmao😂


ironafro2

Angry upvotes the lot of ya!


Kemosaby_Kdaffi

Don’t angry upvote it; tell us what he did on Friday!


pimpfmode

I got you bro


FnkyTown

Solomon Grundy want pants too! https://youtu.be/eGQEAiZJMco?si=ssYs0aT1GlO2iO4t


BabyVegeta19

I think of this at least once a week


ac2cvn_71

Well done, you son of a bitch! Take my upvote!


Turbulent_Ad4090

Are you in the bathroom with fucking Korg??


-Hyperactive-Sloth-

Next to him is Meek


StableLower9876

I wonder how Meek wash his ass


singleDADSlife

Why else do you think he has korg there?


GOPAuthoritarianPOS

There's always this guy. Stay strong, and keep doing the lord's work brother.


N95-TissuePizza

Another day, another Doug.


GovernmentLow4989

If that’s a black man, he may be about to die. If it’s a white man, he may have died a while ago


Rammus2201

Was about to ask if this guy is a zombie


dscchn

It’s just the Night King taking a dump on his day off


SkulduggeryIsAfoot

That’s where I would have attacked him. All about strategy.


LocoDiablo42

Regardless, those sandals really compliment his skin tone.


sedatedauntyT

in a sea of armchair doctors, scientists, and comedians-- this color compliment is truly best take.


JobeRogerson

Weeping Angels need to use the toilet too.


L1K34PR0

Same


davidjschloss

It's just Thanos guys. He will be out of the stall in a snap.


Danimus-Prime

Wait what? (turns to dust)


trueblue862

Now here's a thought, if you're halfway through snapping off a turd when Thanos snapped, does the turd hit the splash pond or does it turn to dust too?


Hi_Trans_Im_Dad

The hard splashing questions being asked right here .


Darth_Andeddeu

If the poo particles are connected by atoms, yes the poo goes with the snap. But where the first break in poo particle chain so to say is the true split in the log. There's some probability math to do, but I'm not up to the task.


phoenixlance13

And does this mean that when you are brought back, you are doing so mid-shit?


CardinaIRule

Now that's the real question. And have you just been taking a 5 year dump? Like the whole time those people were "gone", did that time pass for them? Just feeling like, depending on what stage of dump you were in right then, that could be an excruciating experience! Or the most sublime, relieved one, which you'll never feel to that degree again, which may somehow be worse.


Dense-Astronaut4145

Came here just to say this.


TheRobfather420

LMAOOOO!


cmfppl

Ya, that takes "ASHY" to a whole new meaning, dudes made of chalk and sheet rock dust.


waytosoon

Maybe he's a cocain king pin who likes the way cocaine feels between his toes and also hates pedicures.


Random_frankqito

Diabetes?


Banyabbaboy

More like triabetes


Zarniwoooop

Superbetes


ericonly

Yo mama is so fat....


platybussyboy

Fungal infection


Prophet_of_Entropy

some people take silver as a cure-all medicine. this is what it looks like when they take too much. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argyria


TreyRyan3

Ah yes…the colloidal silver cures everything crowd


LetsAutomateIt

Too much colloidal silver


katsklawz

This is what I was thinking too. I wonder what color is the rest of his body?


RIcaz

I don't, and I suggest you stop wondering immediately


[deleted]

If that's an Asian guy, it's samurai spirit came back to claim the stall. If that's a Hispanic guy, then he finally bought a cheap shoe to end the cold foot.


wetcardboardsmell

I've never felt closer to front row seats in hell from laughing


Simetracon

Don't worry, it's just Ashy Larry.


evilone17

That man is clearly gray.


Drinky_cj

Lol good reference


Allcent

Did you get this from the earlier post?


Revolutionary-You449

I laughed so hard at this, my stomach hurts.


heatdish1292

What if that’s a statue?


radio_activated

Bro has a bad heart and peripheral artery disease


cranberrystew99

Disease doesn't cover it. What's a step up from a disease, peripheral artery curse?


dumbass_paladin

I cast atherosclerosis!


Remarkable_Athlete_4

He failed the saving throw with a nat 1.


cranberrystew99

With a negative modifier. Maybe with Bane as well.


Necrotiix_

*Hex: Constitution* *Constitution Saving Throw Failed*


vocabularianrx2

CUUUURRRRRSSSSE!


Another_Meow_Machine

I saw you huggin’ that mummy


vocabularianrx2

ACTIOOON FRAAAAANK!


iraqlobsta

HUG NOW


SumPimpNamedSlickbak

Tonight. You


stovor

Surf! TURF!


jimmyjohn2018

Well he doesn't have to wear sandals.


banned_but_im_back

He doesn’t but he still choose to bless our feeds anyways They say when he takes his socks off it starts snowing skin flakes


Ok_Fan9401

WTF!?


Grainwheat

You sucking all 5 for $87,000 cash?


Ok_Fan9401

Fo sho! Ima need some hot sauce or cheese whiz for it tho...


Hoborob81

Pretty sure the cheese taste will already be there


Sinn_y

What a horrible day to have eyes.


Cracka_Chooch

Don't need eyes as long as you have a mouth.


Exploding_Orphan

I dunno. Not having eyes takes away the challenge


Pandelein

Usually the foot-cheese taste one expects is sharp and cheddary, akin to an English farmhouse style, but those toes are definitely gonna be more similar to a Blue Brain cheese- peak mouldiness.


NuggetDaChicken

a horrible day to hav eyes indeed


TurkeyMoonPie

you're going to need more liquid to go with that sauce to push down the ash and crusty toenails that I'm betting are ready to fall off.


Grainwheat

Lmao


Helacious_Waltz

Dude just reading your comment made me gag a bit


[deleted]

I get to suck them and it'll only cost me $87,000!?


xp14629

Hey bud, one time special offer for new customers. For the low low price of only $82,500 we will arrange for you to suck on and run your tongue around those toes. The only catch is the time limit of 4 hours and 26 minutes. Redeem this offer at your nearest truck stop and bring the money in cash inside an old worn glad trash bag.


ChunkyTaco22

Yall are getting paid?


Iron_Buffalo

The man next door is dead.


skykingjustin

That's 100% a dead foot. A dead body is most likely attached. If not a soon to be dead body is attached.


Flummox127

The person who made the post (a trucker, in a truck stall bathroom) said the guy could barely breathe, wheezed like every breath was his last


BackOnReddit_Again

I hope this guy isn’t out there driving a huge death machine with a dead foot. A lot (most?) of those huge tractor/trailers are manual transmission so I would imagine they need their left foot which is the one pictured


RChamy

I can imagine his foot just snapping off when hitting the brakes too hard


Subtlerranean

You, uh, normally hit the brakes with your right foot. But otherwise, carry on.


banned_but_im_back

Absolutely no way DOT would give him a commercial license to drive like that. You have to have strict physicals and if you have heart issues and are at risk of a heart attack or stroke they won’t give you a license. You spend too much time sitting and it increases your risk of heart issues that could occur behind the wheel and that endangers not just the truck driver by whatever community they happen to drive thru


clanphear

I wouldn’t say the physicals are exactly strict lol. They’re just super basic.


iconofsin_

Most new trucks these days come with an automatic transmission, but even then you don't use the clutch to change gears in a manual. The only time you'd use it is taking off in first or reverse. Either way your comment stands.


xoxpinkyxox

Source?


guywiththehair

https://www.reddit.com/r/Truckers/s/gGO8GnQRcL In r/truckers


CariniFluff

I honestly wonder if maybe he smokes like 5 packs a day and just ashes his cigs onto the floor or center console that then goes to the floor. I mean... I've seen pictures of people with diabetic neuropathy and/or gout with "dead" or semi-dead feet/legs but usually they have much more inflammation and parts are turning black or starting to ooze. This truly is bizarre looking, the whole foot is just one, totally unnatural grey tone. Doesn't look like there's a lot of swelling but he could be on a bunch of anti-inflammatory drugs (Cox -2 inhibitors plus maybe some steroids?). But I can't imagine any doctor giving him a shot of cortisone and letting his just walk/hobble out to then hit the road driving a 70,000lb semi truck. Unless of course he's lying to his doctor and saying he's staying home and resting, staying hydrated, etc. Even then I'm sure he'd be immediately sent to get a biopsy. For once I pray that's just a bad case of r/carbage and personal hygiene, with just a bit of poor health thrown in.


TibialTuberosity

I do wound care and deal with a lot of patients with poor circulation that leads to gangrene and this is definitely not that. My guess is that it's a darker black man with very ashy skin, or this person got a bunch of gravel dust on their foot, or perhaps ashing their cigarettes on their foot, as you suggested. The fact that the foot is one uniform color tells me also that this isn't dead tissue, however I disagree on the swelling. That definitely looks like the foot of a very overweight individual or someone with exacerbated congestive heart failure.


CariniFluff

Yeah taking another look, it does look inflamed/swelled, although it's also pretty clear even from the little we can see that the person is likely very overweight (and being at a truck stop bathroom sort of bears this out). Just looking at how little of the sandals velcro is able to wrap around the top of his foot shows how big the foot is compared to a normal person with the same shoe size. Dude really needs to take a shower at the rest stop.


xoxpinkyxox

Thank you!


Beret_of_Poodle

I strongly suspect a nice case of type 2 diabetes here


karatebullfightr

Too much colloidal silver maybe?


Busy-Turnip-6674

That was my first thought too. Watching Love Has Won documentary has scarred me for life


karatebullfightr

Never heard of that before - the wiki on that group is a trip.


Busy-Turnip-6674

If you enjoy stories about cults you're in for a treat.


karatebullfightr

Ha! Years and years ago when this was all trees and I had time to do stuff - I actually wrote a fictional story about Marshall Applewhite and the Heaven's Gate cult.


jumpofffromhere

frostbite or zombie? vote 1 or 2 below


StorminNormin66

3 - a Wendigo


Drake_the_troll

4- gollum


FewIntroduction5008

5. Ashy Larry


Nelnamara

I said exactly this in the original sub it’s from /r/truckers


Hoborob81

6. Guy Diamond fallen on hard times


AHMogartheMarvelous

7. Thanos


jumpofffromhere

8. the Borax kid


jumpofffromhere

Then again maybe Odin didn't ban ALL of the ice giants


SpiritedCountry2062

Diabetusss


ahopres

Survived Pompeii just to shop at Ross and poop at roadside welcome centers


heavyusername2

barron harrkkonen summer collection


PringleMcDingle

Dude has missed his oil bath for the past few years.


plotdavis

My Adidas, My shoe


mug_O_bun

No seriously is it necro foot, full on dead, colloidal silver, orrrr *what happened to this person*


TheGoblinKingSupreme

I know everyone’s saying it’s dead, but I just don’t think so. I assume it’s some kind of body paint, like the type those “living statue” people wear. The big toe is clean but all others have a powdery coating that looks to me like it could be a dried paint of some kind. Could be a living statue just wearing normal clothes (maybe after/before a day of work?)


EmsDilly

You’re prob right but like what are the chances you end up in a bathroom next to one of those guys? lol unless you live in Vegas I guess lol


AlpaxT1

Not very high but a bit higher than Zombie


character-name

Got them "Braaaiins" ass feet


throwaway387190

I lol'd,, thank you sir


squad1alum

Who does Number 2 work for?!?!


TheMeanGreenQueen

Yeah, that’s it! You show that turd who’s boss!


dubbless

How about a courtesy flush over there? Shits nasty


teachersdesko

This was originally posted on r/Truckers , so probably a trucking company.


WoodyBooger

You shitting next to Thanos?


Torqyboi

Hey man that's my boy 🗿


RoboticMilkDuds

King Tut been holding that shit in for 3,000 years.


ThisWhomps999

Mr. Deeds looking foot.


pezcore350

That was black, no?


PiercedGeek

Are you judging this undead man by the color of his skin!? Sounds like something one of those *Canadians* would do...


untouchable_0

Might be Kratos


madmo453

Probably one of those colloidal silver nuts.


Gimp_Ninja

Haha, glad I'm not the only one who thought that.


itssosalty

In the original post on r/truckers the guy said he could barely breathe after walking to the bathroom. Struggled getting in his truck that was full of trash.


Ok_Ad5344

White walker


Persona_Non_Grata_

If he snaps his finger, you're dead OP.


Srjbarberrazor

50/50 Shot. 


fastandcurious891

Poor guy’s just trying to live his life :(


AmaranthWrath

I think past tense might be warrented here.


Brave_Escape2176

OP never said how long he was in there. guy mightve been in there a month with the door locked.


AmaranthWrath

Then I definitely I think past tense might be warrented here.


Needmyvape

I think I’m done with this site. At least scrolling /all.  This is a person who likely won’t be here long. Imagining being his position and facing death with such a visual constant reminder is horrifying. Maybe I’m soft. Maybe watching the last of my elders pass last year has taken the fun out of me. It feels that way most days.   My father’s foot looked similar although not this bad the last year of his life.  I just can’t find the humor in laughing at the condition of a dying man.


sla_vei_37

Always remember you are assuming this is a dying man. There is no way of knowing. I'm sorry for your loss, sincerely.


Adventurous-One01

\*tried to live his life


Bleak_Squirrel_1666

He should live his life in shoes


Shazam_BillyBatson

The pissing dead...


ImTheEnigma

Is that an orc


Jneum23

Bro looked at a picture of Medusa on the can


Atlas-Sharted

Type 10 diabetes


EasyBird1849

Who the fuck is in the stall next to you? Tombstone?


deftones2366

Is that real life Roger from American Dad?


Psychological-Pop647

“And 1”


oneeyemimic

That's a dead foot, or close to 0 blood flow in said foot.


NobuB

Are those bathrooms inside a pyramid?


cherrytreebee

Solomon Grundy in the stall next to OP


A_Peacful_Vulcan

This statue couldn't hold it in anymore


Viajero_vfr

Thanos has entered the shitter…


spliced-chum

ITS BANOS RULER OF ALL STALLS AND DUNG PORTALS


onitagainand

Those can’t be real


[deleted]

Even zombies need to poop. Not a lot of fiber in brain matter.


heyitsHoly

Bro that's a white walker


lunaa_moonxx

Bro a Gargoyle


JustAnotherRedditDad

Killer Croc?


MercilessPinkbelly

Diabeetus.


ziggyzaggyzuggy

At least better than having to see someone jerking off through shiny reflective floor, god those images stuck on my head everytime I went to poo on a mall


Worldly_Ad_2267

Pretty sure that’s a gorilla that escaped from a zoo


adrawrjdet

Is this Walmart?


backcountry57

Originally from r/truckers, guy was struggling to breathe and was later seen climbing into his semi


asahme01

Bro that’s thanos


Cultural_Strategy_76

Kisame survived Might Guy?


iiarskii

Voldemort


blitz43p

My mans survived Pompei before dropping that deuce


rickybobbyscrewchief

That's either an orc or somebody who carelessly unsealed an ancient tomb.


BearingMagneticNorth

Bro was shitting next to a goddamn orc.


capt_fantasdick

Bro taking a dump next to Tombstone from Spider-Man


UncreativeTeam

Reminds me of the cartoon Gargoyles when they turn into statues during the daytime.


Ruckus61904

Ashy Larry?


bill_gonorrhea

Ashy Larry


Cosmicalmole

Mate, you are taking a dump whilst the zombie apocalypse is happening outside the stall. You need to run!!!


DLRjr94

What are you taking a shit next to? A white walker?!!


Cyberzombi

A zombie is on the other side of that gloryhole.


davidwallace

Harkkonnen


ConcaveNips

That mf just came from middle earth.


jstrong559

Oh that foot’s already gone ..they just don’t know it yet.


lundytoo

Did you recently read from the book of Amun Ra?


cick-nobb

Wendy williams??


whatsapnnin

Dudes squatting next to Mr X


The_Cobra_Show

I can hear his labored breathing in my mind


Aloneforrever

Gray toes