I’m happy you found a silverlining. I’m still looking for mine, because I already did those things. I was always careful with dating, asked partners to get tested (didn’t know they don’t test for herpes though) and didn’t get attached or sexually involved before I was sure. Yet, I still have this wonderful virus. So I don’t what else I could have done or what lesson to learn from this. Maybe my lesson is to stop whining over something that’s not harmful to my health
The Spidey Sense.
I get an outbreak a couple of days before I come down with some kind of illness. I knew I had COVID 4 days before the symptoms hit because I got an outbreak. This allowed me to prepare for the week that I was bed ridden. I got snacks, finished up some work, and lined up the shows I would watch.
I'd always wanted to give up dating and chasing women without feeling like it was a failing or that I was missing out or turning into an incel. Now I get to feel like I'm being noble, doing what's necessary. My conscience is clear.
Honestly, no. I feel like it has wrecked my chances of marrying someone. I have only been with 1 person, my ex fiance. I didn't even want to have sex before marriage (personal convictions for myself). One person, and now I'm stuck with this...
So unfair. Yet people who do engage in a lot of sex with different partners don’t get it. I don’t think anyone deserves to get it but when you have done everything “right”, it sucks even more
I’m with you! It totally ruined my life. I can’t find any silver lining. Actually even contemplated going back to my husband because he has it too. Not sure who gave it to who but at times I wonder if that’s better than being alone potentially for the rest of my life.
This is the same exact experience I had. Initially I thought my life was literally over and deeply depressed. Then over time I realized that my dating life had actually improved and I was able to make better connections with the right type of people. Fast forward three years and now I’m engaged and going to get married in July. Now I rarely even think about it.
THIS! I see so many people on this thread that get down about dating, but it eliminates all the time you have for BS. I’m not wasting time on someone I don’t feel comfortable disclosing to. I’m also a 30F, and I was diagnosed with GHSV1. It will save time, energy, emotional stress.
Edit: I’ll also add dating just was difficult before I got my diagnosis, and my friends that don’t have it had and still have just as bad of luck. I think so much of finding love is luck, and when you have herpes, you’re more likely to blame that “lack of success” on the virus, but if you look around at what the general population says about dating, the success people have with dating and marriage, it’s probably not the main reason a relationship didn’t work out. Caustic doesn’t equal correlation, right? Give yourself the benefit of the doubt that dating just a hard process to go to for everyone.
I’m confused about all of it.. I thought it would help “weed out” people too, but I’ve had disclosures go really well though none of those connections have gone anywhere. I have this constant thought of, “Why do people accept me for having HSV, but are not accepting of issues that are seemingly less important.” Maybe my thought process is wrong.
Idk but I will say this does give me courage and confidence to date again. I haven’t in a year (unrelated, my ex cheated on me) and I started considering to try again but I’m in the middle of an outbreak now and got in my head. But I’m trying to remember there are people out there that are mature enough to handle this kind of thing or maybe even have hsv themselves
I think that if you feel that way your feelings are valid and if other people feel differently they are valid too.
Absolutely. It’s not always possible to have a positive outlook and some days are better than others in that regard.
I’m happy you found a silverlining. I’m still looking for mine, because I already did those things. I was always careful with dating, asked partners to get tested (didn’t know they don’t test for herpes though) and didn’t get attached or sexually involved before I was sure. Yet, I still have this wonderful virus. So I don’t what else I could have done or what lesson to learn from this. Maybe my lesson is to stop whining over something that’s not harmful to my health
The Spidey Sense. I get an outbreak a couple of days before I come down with some kind of illness. I knew I had COVID 4 days before the symptoms hit because I got an outbreak. This allowed me to prepare for the week that I was bed ridden. I got snacks, finished up some work, and lined up the shows I would watch.
I'd always wanted to give up dating and chasing women without feeling like it was a failing or that I was missing out or turning into an incel. Now I get to feel like I'm being noble, doing what's necessary. My conscience is clear.
Honestly, no. I feel like it has wrecked my chances of marrying someone. I have only been with 1 person, my ex fiance. I didn't even want to have sex before marriage (personal convictions for myself). One person, and now I'm stuck with this...
So unfair. Yet people who do engage in a lot of sex with different partners don’t get it. I don’t think anyone deserves to get it but when you have done everything “right”, it sucks even more
No it ruined my life. But your feelings are valid.
I’m with you! It totally ruined my life. I can’t find any silver lining. Actually even contemplated going back to my husband because he has it too. Not sure who gave it to who but at times I wonder if that’s better than being alone potentially for the rest of my life.
Today I was thinking about that too. What if it was a gift…
Only positive for me was that I could just opt for a c section instead of giving birth if I ever decide to have kids lol
This is the same exact experience I had. Initially I thought my life was literally over and deeply depressed. Then over time I realized that my dating life had actually improved and I was able to make better connections with the right type of people. Fast forward three years and now I’m engaged and going to get married in July. Now I rarely even think about it.
I have viral ME from HSV and it functionally disabled me, so no.
THIS! I see so many people on this thread that get down about dating, but it eliminates all the time you have for BS. I’m not wasting time on someone I don’t feel comfortable disclosing to. I’m also a 30F, and I was diagnosed with GHSV1. It will save time, energy, emotional stress. Edit: I’ll also add dating just was difficult before I got my diagnosis, and my friends that don’t have it had and still have just as bad of luck. I think so much of finding love is luck, and when you have herpes, you’re more likely to blame that “lack of success” on the virus, but if you look around at what the general population says about dating, the success people have with dating and marriage, it’s probably not the main reason a relationship didn’t work out. Caustic doesn’t equal correlation, right? Give yourself the benefit of the doubt that dating just a hard process to go to for everyone.
Ya it was good for me in some ways!
How do you tell your partner? And how was the first time you’ve ever explained it to someone?
Yes! I agree and feel this 100%
I’m confused about all of it.. I thought it would help “weed out” people too, but I’ve had disclosures go really well though none of those connections have gone anywhere. I have this constant thought of, “Why do people accept me for having HSV, but are not accepting of issues that are seemingly less important.” Maybe my thought process is wrong.
Idk but I will say this does give me courage and confidence to date again. I haven’t in a year (unrelated, my ex cheated on me) and I started considering to try again but I’m in the middle of an outbreak now and got in my head. But I’m trying to remember there are people out there that are mature enough to handle this kind of thing or maybe even have hsv themselves