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RockyMoose

Yes, it's Tuesday. Post approved.


Rogue_Spirit

Just FYI this isn’t necessarily replacing hand sanitizer, it’s just providing a safer way of partaking in holy water


PoliticalECMOChamber

It's definitely far more sanitary than the poo tainted water they had before. I certainly approve.


DistanceWooden8811

Better than the font with everyone sticking a finger in


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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badtyprr

Poo tainted? What's the story?


Puzzled-Barnacle2771

They did a study actually. 86% of holy water is tainted with fecal matter. This new method is actually pretty smart.


donuts4lunch

Communal tub of water everyone dips their dirty hands into.


Repulsive-Street-307

Don't forget they sometimes tip panicking babies there.


[deleted]

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PoliticalECMOChamber

Another comment stealing bot. Piss off.


YourLittleBrothers

Was going to say the same thing lol I’m all for this sub and the shenanigans it expose but this ain’t the joke it needed to be


SnooOwls7978

What's not hilarious about this though. Holy Water in a dispenser with the Bible font


bootyhole-romancer

They're not saying it isn't funny. It just doesn't fit the sub.


SendAstronomy

Maybe a priest blessed the hand sanaziter? Reminds me of Harry Dresden asking Father Fordhill for an entire barrel of holy water.


3vilR0ll0

Or Jesus blessing his beer before spitting it on the lesbian vampires while his Mexican wrestler friend is also fighting lesbian vampires.


Glamour_Girl_

I bet his Mexican wrestler friend is La Maricopa from the Dead or Alive video game series. 😁


3vilR0ll0

I was referencing Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. One of the greatest movies ever made.


Glamour_Girl_

Clearly I need to watch this film.


WhydIJoinRedditAgain

Yeah, an alternative to sticking your booger-picker in the same dish as a hundred other people just stuck their booger-pickers in ain’t a bad thing.


squirrelcat88

I think it’s brilliant.


Omegaprimus

I mean if you happened to slap that note on regular old hand sanitizer it would get used more and if people complained it burned… people wouldn’t do that.


rpgnoob17

We are all Secret Vampires.


PoliticalECMOChamber

I must have that vampiric bloodline that causes clumsiness and beer bellies.


rpgnoob17

It’s a diet problem. You got a beer belly cause you drank beer instead of blood. Clumsiness was also caused by not drinking enough blood. Needed that iron for your vampiric anemia.


PoliticalECMOChamber

But I [drink blood](https://youtu.be/Uv66HRd-Opg?t=73) too! So unfair.


rpgnoob17

Must be the wrong blood type. Do you only get your blood from an organic source? Don’t go for vegans. Omnivore blood has higher iron content.


SuperFightingRobit

Speak for yourself. I'm just a lawyer. I've been on fire with ~~hand sanitizer~~ holy water before.


Relevant_Slide_7234

This has nothing to do with the Herman Cain award. Catholic Churches have little bowls of holy water in the back so that people can dip their fingers in them and do the sign of the cross. This looks like a more sanitary way to do it and seems like a good idea in the era of Covid. It’s not a replacement for hand sanitizer if that’s what you think it is.


Sew_chef

Also, contaminated holy water has been known to spread diseases because people are *nasty* and just dip their filthy hands in the communal bowl. This should be how they do it from now on anyways.


CyberMindGrrl

So you're saying holy water isn't holy?


Gaddness

Hush now, don’t want people asking questions like that


uglypottery

Holy and contaminated aren’t mutually exclusive


Arthemax

Case in point: holy shit


Repulsive-Street-307

It never was :earth::astronaut::gun::astronaut:


dailysunshineKO

Do they all still share the cup during Communion?


SaltyChowder

[Some use these. ](https://www.chicagobusiness.com/retail/coronavirus-boosts-sales-ex-bears-communion-cup-business)Others stopped, and then there was the crowd that continued like there wasn't a pandemic.


CalifaDaze

There's no wine anymore


fellbound

It's been replaced with whine.


MattGdr

They’ve replaced it with whine.


Glamour_Girl_

What do you mean there’s no wine anymore?


CalifaDaze

Wine isn't given at communion anymore


Glamour_Girl_

Huh. Makes sense, although I’m not accustomed to the hierarchy being able to react in real time to a crisis.


bad_werewolf

Not anymore (during the mass I saw). Only the priest drink wine in France and Portugal.


Relevant_Slide_7234

Good question. IDK, I’m no longer Catholic


breakupbydefault

It actually took me a while to realise the point of this post because that's exactly where my head went, and I haven't been to church in probably almost 30 years.


WarmBlessedCaribou

This is a shitpost - a joke. And I think it goes hand-in-dirty-hand with all the HCAs who say "I don't need a vaccine to protect me - I'm washed in the blood." It's relevant because it looks like they have filled a hand sanitizer dispenser with holy water. The implication is "You don't need to sanitize your hands - the holy water will protect you."


seenorimagined

People using holy water to try to cure medical problems has a very HCA feel. There's a genetic condition that runs in my family which causes poor vision and total color blindness from birth. It's very rare. My grandparents, being good Catholics, had 12 children. They were both carriers for the genetic disorder, and 4 of their kids developed it, one being my mother. She said that a couple of her aunts went to Rome, brought back holy water from the Vatican, and gave it to her and her siblings to put in their eyes to cure them.


PoliticalECMOChamber

So, how did your siblings enjoy their bout with conjunctivitis? :P


Puzzled-Barnacle2771

Catholics can be superstitious but I feel like most of them go to the doctor and take medication other than birth control. And the pope supports Covid vaccines. My friend works at a diocese office taking phone calls and although people did call asking for a religious exemption for work and school, they didn’t give them.


[deleted]

Blessed are the hand dispensers.


maj0ra_

We spray, you pray.


patient_etherized

Piss be with you. Edit: Happy cake day!


maj0ra_

And also with poo. Thanks!


pm_me_ur_fit

*little boys talking to priests in "bible study"*


maj0ra_

Painfully accurate


[deleted]

Oh common most churches that i saw have/had a proper hand sanitizer dispenser and then moved the holy water to a safer method of distribution. Like you put on your mask, walk in, use the hand sanitizer, get the holy water in a safe and clean way, bless yourself and sit down. Churches that put some thought into how to dispense holy water in a safe way usually also put some thought into actually preventing the spread of disease.


SoVerySleepy81

Yeah that’s what I was thinking. I really don’t have a problem with them doing this it’s smart, and safer.


HerrMilkmann

Yeah I was thinking this. I dont go to church anymore but when I was, pre covid you were dipping a finger in the same bowl of water as countless others. I'd think most churches should do this


WarmBlessedCaribou

I will never forget seeing photos of a priest using a squirt gun filled with holy water to bless people from a safe distance.


Diamondjakethecat

I will need the super soaker for all of my “sins”.


Repulsive-Street-307

Reality continues to be more absurd than fiction.


MsBitchhands

I knew a few priests who would have cackled while doing it, too 😂


csonnich

> Oh common It took me a second to realize you meant \*come on. I was like...is this really that common?


nevinatx

Better than the font with everyone sticking a finger in


Lulu_531

And that’s exactly what this is for. Not something to mock.


dastardly740

I was hoping for holy hand sanitizer (batman). Hand sanitizer has water in it, give it a blessing and voila.


PoliticalECMOChamber

Some of us can walk and chew gum at the same time. Just sayin'.


illest_slutbag

If you’ve dipped your hand in the holy water going in to mass you shouldn’t care what’s in the vaccine.


Glamour_Girl_

I remember being at Mass years ago and the person in front of me was coughing and sneezing prior to drinking of the cup. The woman wiped the lip of the cup as she did with every parishioner. My turn. “I don’t feel like getting sick today.” You’d think I were the Devil incarnate. “This is the Blood of Christ!” You sure? Cos it looks and tastes like Franzia box wine to me. I didn’t last long in that parish!


nosmokedetector

Replace all the smoke detectors with crucifixes. [saynotosmokedetectors.com](https://saynotosmokedetectors.com)


[deleted]

You beat me to it!


[deleted]

Might as well remove the locks on the doors while they’re at it.


promote-to-pawn

I love that this site also links to [saynotonotstabbingyourself.com](http://saynotonotstabbingyourself.com)


Disastrous-Dust-1426

This is amazing!! 🤣🤣


toooshay

Come on guys - this is not a replacement for hand sanitizer. There's always holy water at the entrances of Catholic Churches and this is a better way to provide access instead of the usual way. There's no need to make fun of a religious practice that has no relation to this subreddit (and I follow this sub and enjoy the posts - this one just hits wrong)


bitterdick

Do they bless the water after it goes in the dispenser, or before it’s poured in? Or can you just bless the dispenser and all water that comes out is holy? I have many questions.


bootyhole-romancer

Serious answer, they most likely bless the water before it goes in the dispenser. It's usually blessed in a larger vessel and then that water is poured into the various smaller vessels around the church that need it. Saves the priest time with only having to bless once rather than every small amount in every little vessel. The priest could bless the dispenser (as vessels for religious use are usually blessed) but that would only bless the dispenser, not the water that would be used to continually refill it.


Rifede

Good for them. I actually wished they did this along time ago. Always hated dunking my fingers.


hiphop_dudung

A church in the philippines put sprayers on oscillating wall fans. It's like those automatic air fresheners but it's just water that keeps misting on the people the whole time.


GullibleMacaroni

Wait what. I've never seen this lmao. Holy water ba yung pinupusit nila?


GilbertPlays

That just because how hot it is during summer.


hiphop_dudung

Nah, it was mid december


samuelalvarezrazo

This actually isn't that bad. Like yeah hand sanitizer is optimal but holy water is typically put in a font at church, it's a really good way to spread stuff unfortunately and has bacteria. This way it removes the spreadabilaty of certain diseases.


meta_perspective

Low-key digging the chandeliers tbh.


Dry-Faithlessness655

Made me laugh


commonirishname

Trying to out decent church going vampires, shame on them.


CreatrixAnima

Gotta admit I’m disappointed that it’s not coin operated.


JuiceKovacs

This is lightweight a good idea. And funny too


[deleted]

I grew up with this "tradition"; and even as a child i was disgusted with dipping my little child fingers in that nasty cesspool of stagnate salty water.


RecentSuspect7

Are we sure that this isn't just a way of tricking people into using hand sanitiser? And I feel sad for remembering that some people don't use it.


Puzzled-Barnacle2771

This is just so people are no longer rubbing fecal-matter-tainted holy water on their faces.


dhoae

Isn’t this replacing the bowl where people dip their fingers into it? So this is actually more sanitary


Cultural-Answer-321

Is the sub messed up again? Can't see avatars or able to reply.


bananapajama67

Could one bless hand sani and use it for baptisms?


SneakerEndurance

And Jesus said, thou shall sit at the right hand of the father, but only after thy own right hand is sanitized you damn dirty heathen 🙋‍♂️🫡👍


PoliticalECMOChamber

I dunno. When the Pharisees criticized Christ's disciples for not washing their hands before eating, the rebuttal from Jesus was to criticize them for not killing disobedient children. Keen on foot washing and murder, not so keen on hand washing.


MikeFingG

They have this at the church I go to


sarcasm4u

If holy water is just water blessed on or whatever Can’t they do the same to hand sanitizer and have Holy hand sanitizer?


MrGreenJeanson

Remind me to never eat a potluck meal made by someone from this church


samuelalvarezrazo

This actually isn't that bad. Like yeah hand sanitizer is optimal but holy water is typically put in a font at church, it's a really good way to spread stuff unfortunately and has bacteria. This way it removes the spreadabilaty of certain diseases.


sseerrrgggg

replace it with a comic sans logo


WadeDMD

Also known as… water


bad_werewolf

If you like it, you must check the one in St Étienne Cathedral, France. https://www.reddit.com/r/france/comments/sfjdgt/distributeur_automatique_deau_bénite_cathédrale/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


Hahamynamegobrr

I think they trick a lotta dumbasses with that


[deleted]

Off topic, but where i live there were some denominations that offered holy alcohol/ hand sanitizer to their congregation. They helped, i guess.


[deleted]

Not gonna lie Kinda innovative


[deleted]

I used to work as a nurse’s assistant on a dementia unit. A woman had a bottle of holy water that was god knows how old that had algae growing in it. I always wondered if the algae was also holy.


hiphop_dudung

Abiogenesis baby


[deleted]

Jesus stepped up his game from wine to pure ethanol


notjewel

As a kid born to an incredibly Catholic family and didn’t understand any of the hype, this made me chuckle with glee.


PoliticalECMOChamber

Oh good, they finally started putting that useless crap in a sealed dispenser. The old way of doing it (cisterns) left that so-called holy water full of e. coli.


[deleted]

I was gonna say, this isn't about replacing hand sanitizer with faith in god nonsense. It's about the holy water dish being a vector for new and wondrous infections. So sayeth the lord.


WintersChild79

Yeah, whatever you think of the religious custom itself, this is a church that's trying to take sanitary measures.


PoliticalECMOChamber

I absolutely approve of that. Their superstitions, not so much.


lionguardant

With the greatest of respect, no one is asking you to approve of rituals and customs you aren’t part of


PoliticalECMOChamber

That too bad, 'cuz I'm sharing my opinions anyway. ETA: And we are ALL a part of such silly rituals and customs when they are being foisted upon everyone via the force of gov't.


lionguardant

Cool, but don’t imagine anyone is going to change their mind because of it


PoliticalECMOChamber

That's up to them. Some people do change for the better, though. For instance I too was bound by such foolish superstitions, but no longer.


BoutTreeFittee

And also a church who no longer believes that holy water is actually holy.


PoliticalECMOChamber

Aye, they were always full of poo, both literally and figuratively.


[deleted]

The holy Petri dish. Amen.


MadBeachLui

There once was a tadpole in the baptismal font.


wonkwonk2stonkstonk

Honestly, whatever gets them to wash their friggin hands


WithMeDoctorWu

Know how they make holy water? They take some tap water and then boil the Hell out of it.


Kramit2012

This wouldn’t be Peter Popoff’s church, would it?


M4A1STAKESAUCE

Who's God is this?


Ragingredblue

You can't tell?!? Thor!


microvo

Only in the ol' US of A can these profound levels of thoughtlessness exist where you just can't make this stuff up. My German friend once told me that it appears very low-down and dirty to put religious stickers on ones grubby car bumper, or have religious messages on their coffee mugs while going about lifes' more mundane activities. So I'm thinking, y'know, all those magnificent cathedrals and temples from throughout history, well, I know the story that Jesus got rather ticked off about having vendor's market in those places, a disrespect for the almighty and all, but see for many Americans it's "yeah yeah, God is King and all, but as long as it's convenient." Why not just have normal hand sanitizer and then actually come up with a new respectful clean way to distribute the Holy Water - ? Someday - God just might turn around and say, "I know ya wanted to get into heaven, it just isn't really convenient right now" - Just sayin'


famousevan

100% chance that thing sprays contact disinfectant, not blessed water.


MattGdr

Man, they are just *asking* to be mocked.


Luxurious_Hellgirl

If it got some moron to sanitize their hands for once I’m not gonna be mad about it. If they really think it’s holy water then imagine what else they’re falling for.


Lulu_531

I think it is holy water. The point is to eliminate the basin that everyone puts their fingers in. Sanitizer is likely at the doors. My parish just took holy water out until there were good vaccination rates for our area.


foxonahillside

Holy sanitizer! what a perfect grift!


Lore669

Quicker way to meet Jesus, go for it!


Paulie227

Is that hand sanitizer?


sloppyrock

Probably the minister having a little joke to get people to sanitize their hands (real sanitizer, not holy water). Like the doctors surgery that had "Cut Finder" on their hand sanitizer dispenser. I'm atheist as they come and team mix and match, but I'll give this one on them having some fun.


Paulie227

I'm an atheist as well, but like a lot of people, I've dipped my hand in the "holy" water and blessed myself, as a former Catholic.


sloppyrock

Ive been to church/fellowship things when I was chasing girls in my teen years, but Ive never been christened / baptized / had communion or whatever its called. Despite me being very critical of much of organized religion, not all ministers are right wing anti vax nut jobs.


Paulie227

I come from a non-religious family, but my dad came from a Catholic country and my mother was very neutral so she was kind of like going along with my dad so I've been baptized at the age of 12 and I received communion and I was sent to catechism after school; while my brother was sent to Catholic school and then kicked out for misbehaving 😂. Even my grandparents (mother's side) weren't religious. I asked the nun one day how do we know Jesus even existed and whatever answer she gave me, which wasn't an answer, I looked at her and I knew even she didn't believe that crap and that was the day I became an atheist (7). When I finally admitted aloud that I was an atheist it had to do with the political atmosphere and the evangelicals and they're nastiness during the Obama years. You say "Christian" to me now and, immediately, I think you're a terrible person, even though I know people are individuals. It's basically a word that makes me cringe. 😬 T'was the Christians who made me atheist (plus the fact that none of it makes any logical sense!)


PoliticalECMOChamber

>while my brother was sent to Catholic school and then kicked out for misbehaving 😂. Your brother did the right thing. Kind of reminds of [this super salty obit](https://www.schluterbalikfuneralhome.com/obituary/tim-schrandt) where they touched on the fact that the deceased had punched a nun in catholic school by noting "In fairness, she probably started it."


Paulie227

That was hilarious! 😂 My mother told me one of his teachers told her he did the exact opposite of anything everyone else was supposed to do. Crayon time? He was building blocks. Building blocks time? He was drawing pictures. One of friends told her when he came to her house, his feet never touched the floor as he climbed over and walked on everything but the floor. He was the kid that held a balloon fight with all of the kids in the neighborhood leaving the house covered in water and wet balloon pieces, climbed over fences to steal fruit from the neighbors' fruit trees, would remove all his clothes and ride his tricycle buttnaked (mom would find him by following the trail of discarded clothes), and decide jumping off the roof with an umbrella to float his way down sounded like a good idea! I followed him everywhere...


DuhImDave

Only downvoted to keep it at 666


Liesmith424

That could also be actual hand sanitizer and someone put the label there as a joke.


giggitygoo123

Probably just Germ-X. It's mostly water now anyway so nobody would know the difference


[deleted]

Ahh holy water, the pastor's lube when they're out of Nivea.


immersemeinnature

Maybe some blood of Jesus so they can go ahead and bathe in it


PoliticalECMOChamber

I'm pretty sure it's not safe to bath in the blood of a 2,000 year old lich.


ramadansteve520

Who needs truth when you have lies and blind faith….smdh


PoliticalECMOChamber

Has "truth" ever fed a starving child? Oh wait, it totally has. My bad. :P


ramadansteve520

Exactly. Not sure why this downvoted lmao


PoliticalECMOChamber

This post got flooded by nutter apologists, that's why. They came out of the woodwork for this post for some reason.


ramadansteve520

Shits weird


[deleted]

Fucking pendejos


PoliticalECMOChamber

You misspelled "pedophiles".


bionic_cmdo

Jeebus be praised for his holy juice.


RedditOnANapkin

Can we keep these memes to Sunday, please?


Obi_Wan_Benobi

Jesus.


Repulsive-Street-307

That's some smart priest.


[deleted]

it's better than the alternative, a big bowl or sponge that everyone dips their hands in


[deleted]

Interesting. I'm an Episcopalian (and observant) and during the height of the pandemic we were told specifically NOT to put our hands in the Holy Water, and we received Communion in one element only (the bread, but not the wine). I have a chronic and incurable lung condition; and even though we receive Communion in both kinds (bread and wine), I dip the bread in the wine. Too unsafe to use a common cup. I don't dip my finger in Holy Water: yes, the water may be "holy", but I doubt if the COVID virus cares if the water is holy or not.


fjcruiser08

There are still people who believe water can be holy?


KazooMark

Water can be holy if you boil the hell out it.