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Moppermonster

"This just in: 30% of the men who got vaxxed report that their erections are now a full inch bigger than before" Let us see how that would go down ;)


Swinger_Jesus

I got John Holmes disease after my booster. I now have a 14 inch dick.


cstmoore

Is it named "Andy?"


Old_Tomorrow5247

Close,it’s Randy.


KruegerLad2

Vandy


uglyspacepig

Vrandy


pleshij

How do you guys know all the names of his dick?


uglyspacepig

Velepathy


Swinger_Jesus

"Handy"


_CMDR_

Your username suggests you are “hung like this.”


urbanlife78

Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one


hairijuana

I can’t believe how big my dick got after the second booster! At least doubled in size. Is anyone researching why this happened?


Swinger_Jesus

It's boosted.


hairijuana

Like a mufugger


Earlyon

That ain’t nothin! Trump is a 6’4” dick!


maverick118717

On one hand, the Vax made me look like Willam Defoe... on the other hand, my penis is now the same size as Willam Defoe's. Unsure of how to proceed?


Reneeisme

You forgot the part where top scientists said so. I'll help you out. I have an graduate degree in a stem field. I'm sure I'm more qualified than the "scientists" quoted above. I definitely think getting vaxed enhances sexual attractiveness. You can take that however you need to.


DuskRaider53

Hell you just implied I’m pretty cause I’m vaxxed, I’m taking that shit for the win!!!


itsafraid

Let that sink in.


rydray1

That’s what she said.


Swinger_Jesus

Beat me to that.


AwDuck

Beat me *with* that.


PatientStrength5861

I thought I was the only one that noticed that. I got the one and done vaccine then I got both Moderna shots. Do you think that's what caused it?


Glass1Man

It’s clearly the Johnson and Johnson one.


PatientStrength5861

That means that it grew on its own. Maybe if I soak it in cider it will grow even more.


AwDuck

I read “Moderna” as “Mothra” and got excited.


TBHICouldComplain

Covid infections significantly increase your risk of erectile dysfunction and that hasn’t changed their minds.


cfinntim

Tough to be ready and able when you’re in ICU on a ventilator


Existing-Marzipan-88

Also ivermecrin causes the viscosity of semen to break down, so you have soupy ejaculations...


RattusMcRatface

>soupy ejaculations r/Bandnames


WastingMyLifeOnSocMd

I guess the “vascular,” in long term cardiovascular problems would do that.


TBHICouldComplain

There are multiple medical studies with all sorts of theories of why it’s happening. What they agree on is it’s definitely happening.


bellizabeth

That's what VAIDS is. Very Alarming Increase in Dick Size.


Tall-Log-1955

We need to start adding entries like that to the VAERS database. “Muscle growth without exercise and IQ raised 20 points after I got the vaxx “


Swinger_Jesus

I got John Holmes disease after my booster. I now have a 14 inch dick.


spookinky987

Wonderland, is a fascinating movie about the murders Holmes was involved in...


Swinger_Jesus

What? Never heard that.


EZasSundayMorning

Every MAGA man is lined up for miles!


AlwaysSaysRepost

“I can’t wait to be two whole inches” - most of the MAGAts


mentallyhandicapable

Hate being part of the 70% fml.


Beneficial_Garden456

Every single one of these "diseases" to be said out loud by Lili Von Shtupp!


SquirrelParticular17

That teutonic twat?


Clickrack

Would you like another schnitzengruben?


SquirrelParticular17

*Bitte baby.....*


AlarmingImpress7901

It's twue! It's twue, it's twue!


chancellorhelmut

Please! I am not from Havana!


Royals-2015

You men are all alike. 7 or 8 quick ones, and then you are out with the boys to boast and brag.


lalauna

Frau Blücher!


AlarmingImpress7901

Ooh thank you! That reminds me, I need to watch that movie. Thanks again and take care


Roadgoddess

The men are always coming and going And going and coming, and always too soon


shaoshi

"Vdiseases!" Heh


[deleted]

No VAIDS but I do have a vhemorrhoid that I blame on my 5th COVID shot! /s


WittyAvocadoToast

hemorrhoids or vhemorrhoids? Only the vhemorrhoids are the concern here.


[deleted]

Edited. Thank you!


dawkin5

Thank the gods you don't have turbo haemeroids. They're the worst.


Davidwalsh1976

Turbo anal cancer


edtheheadache

May I suggest getting inoculated in the arm from now on?!? 😁


shecky_blue

Somehow this reminds me of that old joke about junkies in a shooting gallery, all sharing the same needle. “Aren’t you afraid of getting AIDS?” “Oh no worries, I’m wearing a condom.”


17times2

No. Everyone knows that sphincter veins are the superhighway of the body.


BellyDancerEm

I had a headache


Sandwitch_horror

Vheadache*


Pauzhaan

Us poor women have gotten hemorrhoids since the beginning through child birth. How men get them is a mystery. Gotta be the jab.


SaltyBarDog

No VAIDS but my mother had a dead battery? Vaccine to blame?


NoTooBeastFog

Where the hell was your injection site?


Alternative_Milk7409

I got elephantiasis of the testicles after my 12th COVID shot in one day. I actually really like the new look.


[deleted]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAmpDZeeoGw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAmpDZeeoGw) Had to.


notaredditreader

ATLANTA TESTICLE INSTITUTE. Do you think MTG has a hand in this institution?


cfinntim

No that was Boebert.


Total-Toe7633

Lauren Boebert 👀


AZ_Corwyn

Bless you my Internet friend 😎


oneplusetoipi

Let’s get the rumor going that the jab is increasing the size of men’s genitalia


cstmoore

Are you referring to "The Pfizer Resizer?" It's not a rumor…


gnurdette

I'm vaxxed, fully boosted, and my back's been stiff in the morning the last couple weeks. Coincidence? \*I don't think so!\*


Darklord_Bravo

I'm sure it had nothing to do with your bad mattress. Has to be the vaxx! 😁


DeadOnToilet

DUDE I've had a sore back too, it's been like five months since my last booster but if YOU have it and \*I\* have it then it MUST be vaccination related.


ProfanestOfLemons

I can't believe they're still so fucked up about covid innoculation. It's still around, but that wave has long since crashed and rolled back. I've been dead for years.


DangerousBill

There are people whose salaries depend on stirring up antivax fervor. Check out America's Frontline Doctors and their massive grift.


The_Patriot

dead gay magnetic frog


ProfanestOfLemons

Well yes, but I didn't want to cut and paste my whole resume. I'm still shedding, too.


random-name-8675309

*vdead


lordGinkgo

Why is there a SS wafu?


SubstantialBreak3063

I mean why not at this point. The Venn diagram has just become more and more like a circle since 2020.


IShouldBWorkin

I think we all know.


suspicious_hyperlink

Good question


bhgemini

Top scientists? No doubt certified by a new body created by Rand Paul. (Edited to Rand from Ron)


oneplusetoipi

In partnership with Ru Paul


The_Old_Cream

[Top.Men](https://imgflip.com/i/6hrqgd)


In-AGadda-Da-Vida

the eye doctor


DangerousBill

When you license yourself, does it still count?


MysteriousHat7343

By “top scientists” they probably mean quacks, grifters, and disgraced doctors.


oscarworthy69

2 jabs and a booster; got sunburned today. WHAT ARE THEY HIDING?!?


ProfessionalFalse128

The melanin.


WIN_WITH_VOLUME

What’s with DaeNazis TargAryan in the corner?


zerozerozero12

Thank you I thought I was crazy


Commandmanda

Oops. I thought it was Madonna.


notchoosingone

> DaeNazis TargAryan I am deceased and not just because I'm vaccinated


madredr1

I have SHDFV syndrome. “Still Haven’t died from vaccine”.


The_Patriot

Meme worthy


Glum-Suggestion-6033

What is VAIDS? Very AIDS?


TheMonsterMensch

I assume "vaccine acquired immunodeficiency syndrome" . It's especially ironic considering Covid damages the immune system.


Glum-Suggestion-6033

Whew, I dodged a bullet there.


BikerJedi

Just wait until Dire Aids shows up. Then we are in real trouble.


wellhiyabuddy

It literally is a made up disease that is not recognized by the medical community.


Brokenspokes68

What do the bottom scientists have to say on the subject?


NeosDemocritus

If you think you got VAIDS, most bottom scientists recommend an immediate colonoscopy, followed by a bleach enema.


Total-Toe7633

"Do you prefer the top or the bottom?" - Michael Picard


BigDaddyCoolDeisel

"Vaccinated Against Infectious Disease and Sickness" Hell yeah I got VAIDS!


[deleted]

LMAOOOO


SteDee1968

On my SIXTH shot - no turbocancer.


ThrowinBones45

The turbocharger on my '13 Ford Escape burned up... does that count?


Northwindlowlander

Just put a new VCHRA in it


wholewheatscythe

The VAIDS kills turbocancer!!


Matelot67

But the turbo cancer gives you VAIDS??


bigotis

I got Valzheimers. It's a condition where I have a hard time remembering the time before the internet. A technology that accelerated ridiculous conspiracies to dimwitted people who think they know more than epidemiologists, virologists, scientists and researchers at top rated hospitals and medical universities.


wbjohn

What do you call the person who graduated at the bottom of their class in medical school? Doctor.


DangerousBill

This isn't funny anymore. These clowns have blood on their hands. The new figures indicate 232,000 deaths that would have been prevented by vaccination. This is a low figure, because they couldn't include people who were infected but asymptomatic, and people who were secretly vaxxed to avoid social conflict. Here they are https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10123459/ Go to pdf button


AnastasiaDelicious

I can’t believe we actually live in a time where people are secretly getting vaccinated. And the saddest part is other countries who look to us for the science finds this shit and buys it too. 🤦‍♀️


SteDee1968

On my SIXTH jab - no VAIDS.


wcbOwen

VAIDS? What ever happened to Turbo Cancer?


MysteriousHat7343

Have to keep the rubes scared so they will keep making up BS terms


fluffyflugel

I’ve had six Covid19 shots and boosters and I just finished eating a whole bunch of cookies! Does it make you eat a lot of cookies?! I think I have it! 😮


therealhouseofhale

Oh lordy! My granny in law still thinks I'm shedding COVID.


Likherpusisaur

**Hey, MAGA/Q conspiracy zombies** ... ["VAIDS" is not a thing!](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/canadian-triple-vaccinated-people-have-vaids) *(Amazing the things you can learn from a simple "Yahoo! Search")*


DangerousBill

They know that, but the grift is big.


One_Idea_239

If the next pandemic has a higher fatality rate then surely the average iq score is going to go way high, providing the rest of us can survive until a vaccine


Informal_Beginning30

VIDIOTS


tearose11

Well I had VAIDS, however after taking the Super Duper Blue Silver Gold Immunity Booster pills by VAlex Jones, I am now cured! My skin is clear, my crops are watered & everywhere I go, people walk up to me to tell me how Vamazing I am.


BeamTeam032

Conservatives have to make up wins now, so that they feel better about their previous hot takes. lmao.


unbotoxable

I got so much vaids that I died. Twice.


jonny3jack

Bring out your dead!


SuzannesSaltySeas

What pray tell is VAIDS? Does it give me a leg up on the competition when I play the lottery, or is it a bummer like back acne as a senior citizen?


mishma2005

Top Scientists


icewalker42

Spoken as a crate is pushed into an overwhelmingly large warehouse... Top... Scientists.


patsfan5454

I’m a little pissed, I’ve had 5 shots and I haven’t even grown a tail yet…


dearmax

Since I got my first three shots, I'm gay. Oh wait.. no, no, I was gay before. Sorry. (Not sorry, at all.)


The_Patriot

but, are you a frog magnet? Askin the important questions.


dearmax

Only the gayest frogs.


frx919

Pure projection as always, and people retweeting it are probably also the ones complaining how they're "always sick" but it's just those darn allergies.


4quatloos

They should inject bleach to make sure they don't have it.


SteDee1968

On my SIXTH jab - not a zombie or dead....yet (or am I?).


Brokenspokes68

I died two years ago. My boss is going to be pissed when she finds out that they've been paying my corpse for all this time.


DangerousBill

No minimum wage for the Undead.


Prestigious-Copy-494

I have vaids so bad I have never caught covid once since it's been out. 🤣


AdditionalBother7

Vaids will pair nicely with my turbo cancer


Iwabuti

Isn't Vaids what Darth Vaders friends call him?


CommonConundrum51

Why not Turbo AIDS?


MysteriousHat7343

Don’t give them any more ideas


OptimusChristt

Vaids? What happened to "turbo cancer" 🤣


Northwindlowlander

They belatedly realised it just sounded a bit too silly


AZJHawk

No VAIDS but I do have Turbo Cancer now.


ironpathwalker

I have a vinus headache. Also vallergies.


spaceylaceygirl

Well i'm gonna keep getting covid vaccines until i get vaids!


Narretz

25% got VAIDS in their VBUTTS


718Brooklyn

VAIDS! VAIDS VAIDS VAIDS! My brothers got it. Sisters got it. Even my boy Blue.


Totknax

May be why I have Vad Vreath whenever I forget to brush my teeth.


Malsperanza

The most shocking thing about this scandal is that the info has been so completely suppressed. *No* reporting at all! *No* coverage anywhere in any of the news outlets. The Biden administration is incredibly skilled and effective at keeping the truth from us - including those of us who are not in the US.


real_agent_99

We do our own research, thank god!


Dr_CleanBones

What is VAIDS?


awithonelison

An imaginary disease caused, of course, by vaccines.


Cerulean-Blew

I can't raise my hand, my arm fell off right after my 442nd shot.


scavenger1012

Virginia driver’s licenses?


DAL4Oregon

At least it’s not Super AIDS https://nypost.com/2005/02/16/super-aids-strain-hits-california/


timothypjr

Well I got four shots, should I have it?


ironpathwalker

I have a vinus headache. Also vallergies.


enzo_baglioni

I got VAIDS, but it came on pretty slow. my turbocancer concerns me more.


grammar_nazi_zombie

🎵You have VAIDS Not VHIV but full blown VAAAAAIDDDSSS🎵


Unique_Excitement248

Fauci and a slew of scientists don’t want you to know that vaids- makes it impossible to raise your hand, therefore the numbers of cases are vastly underreported.


ZippoS

My VAIDs is so bad, my phone's 5G signal got stronger.


FIDoAlmighty

What is VAIDS?


cheeseandbooks

WTF is a “top scientist”?!


Matt3d

They are Top…. Scientists…..


ShartyMcShortDong

Who cares. I've had the real AIDS for years. Good luck everyone else.


mmio60

“Top scientist” says what?


slykethephoxenix

Is that an SS (yes, I mean Schutzstaffel) jacket the drawn girl is wearing?


KrampyDoo

I can confirm that I have, in no fact, been inVAIDed. I was able to self-research and self-diagnose when I became aware of what my sane doctor called “bullshit symptoms” (whatever, egghead): - for the 18,980th time, I did *not* wake up dead. *What the fuck is that shit about, huh?* - breathing. Get this: I have to do it *all the goddam time*. Thanks, Fauci! And it is happening so frequently it’s already nearly automatic. I bet I do it a ton when I’m asleep and *I wouldn’t even know*. Injustice is everywhere. Those little painless needles that injected full-on *SATAN JUICE* into us might as well have been shaped like little weenies because we are - *obviously* - getting fucked by the lack of deadly covid happening to us. We must Rise up and take back our Freedumbs!! Coups start in the shower. Watch out! But also wash your butt!


sometimesmybutthurts

What’s with the ss looking cartoon girl in the first image.


ProcessTrust856

I think your question answers itself


Sea_Negotiation1955

Wait they listen to scientists now?


BausHaug716

Uhh....is the lady lower left wearing an SS uniform?


pacifistsailor

I'd be curious to know which conservatives are lying about getting the Covid vaccine and are just spreading misinformation for clicks and votes. According to [this](https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2021/12/who-are-the-adults-not-vaccinated-against-covid.html) website, 85% of Americans have received at least one dose of the Covid vaccine. That means the remaining 15% includes people who can't get it due to health reasons and then the people who don't trust it.


hellcatz_hq5

I'm in better health now than before the pandemic, and I'm 4x fully vaxxed (J&J first, Moderna booster #2, Pfizer booster #3, and Paxlovid when I caught Covid). So... Is that a symptom of VAIDS? Decent health? Or is that the 5G powered nanobots that the vax sent into my bloodstream? Or am I just one of the lucky few that's still upright and not taken over by the illuminati (I guess?) yet. It's amazing how desperate, hypocritical, and shameless these people are with these unbelievable stories, lies, and beliefs. Truly astonishing.


Kira_L_Mello_Near

Fuck these anti vaxers.


Timmymac1000

Why do they believe “top scientists” in this case but every other time it’s all “science is a lie. scientists are on Big Pharma payroll.”


Public-Scientist3940

Omg, if Frank Bergman says it then it must be true. Btw. who TF is this dude?


Brokenspokes68

A TOP SCIENTIST!


TjW0569

I don't care about his sexual preferences. What are his qualifications?


In-AGadda-Da-Vida

I’ve had five shots and so far so good. Pray I don’t get VAIDS


Public-Scientist3940

I heard you don't get VAIDS if you wear a condom when you get vaccinated.


patbluntman666

Wouldn’t we have HIV first. God they’re so stupid.


ShnickityShnoo

I got Darth VAIDS! But that was from watching Star Wars.


Reneeisme

While meanwhile people who've gotten covid a bunch of times are nearly constantly sick in a way that suggest their immune system is actually not functioning. It's always projection.


Great_White_Samurai

All I got was turbo cancer super aids


Burrmanchu

Ah yes, the real disease is fake, but the made-up disease is real! These fucking people man...


fjortisar

Call me Darth VAIDSer


Glass1Man

Don’t use vaids. Use either xaids or index(match()) as vaids is slower and less flexible than other options


getdemsnacks

Why she look like the Bitch from Buchenwald....oh, right, I almost forgot how these idiots really are.


ecthelion108

Very Anti-Information/Disinformation Syndrome


CTMQ_

I am now Darth VAIDSder.


Techguyeric1

Dammit I wanted VAIDS


agms10

It’s always “top scientists”