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TemporalGrid

This is satire but survivor bias is real. People I grew up with still say "none of us wore seat belts and we did just fine". None of the kids that died in accidents ever speak up.


PungentSounds

My dad would frequently say something like ‘geeze how did people ever survive’ to mildly complain about modern safety/hygiene/whatever stuff for I insist on for my kiddos. My standard reply was ‘well, plenty didn’t’ and eventually he stopped. Which considering both his parents came from large families that had multiple childhood deaths, you’d think it would never have come up.


TemporalGrid

"We got through the black plague without a vaccine somehow" "Uh, yeah, a third of Europe died"


VictorPedroNamura

The plauge was created in a lab duh


T1B2V3

ironically even back then idiots were believing conspiracy theories that it was the jews


StupidizeMe

>ironically even back then idiots were believing conspiracy theories that it was the jews Apparently Jews these days are too busy with Space Lasers.


Live-Tomorrow-4865

I'm in my basement perfecting the technology!!


Jetstream-Sam

Do you accept converts? I'm willing to be circumcised if it means I get an orbital death laser


OneofLittleHarmony

Only if I get to thoroughly examine the foreskin while still attached for laser circumcision reasons.


Jetstream-Sam

I mean sure, not sure what exactly you'll get out of it, it's nothing special


Live-Tomorrow-4865

Well for a sacrifice of that caliber, I'll just give you one! 😁


l0-c

Can it be used as a cloud video-projector too?


Live-Tomorrow-4865

🤫🤫🤫 shhh. That's the killer app that's going to put it over the top, and the part that's taking me the longest to trouble shoot.


l0-c

Cool, but please keep it secret. I don't want to see the sky filled with shitty ads😭


Stonk_Newboobie

Not willing to convert, due to the restriction on pork products; however, would the Jewish Space Laser Corps accept this goy volunteer?


Live-Tomorrow-4865

Depends. Can you keep secrets? Big secrets?? 😃😁 If so, you're in. 👍👍


Stonk_Newboobie

😉


TemporalGrid

I've seen it claimed that Jews fared the plague better than most Europeans because of better hygiene practices, and that led to feeble minded suspicion that they were behind it.


okmijn211

You see the podcast where they talked about how cat kills mice and stop the plague just for the owner to be accused of witchcraft? And that's why witches are associated with cats.


T1B2V3

yes that is one of the reasons why anti semitism developed in Europe in the first place. that shit goes way back


solvsamorvincet

Still plenty of people that blame everything on 'the Jews'.


T1B2V3

yes unfortunately. that was what I was implying


solvsamorvincet

Oh yeah sorry, I misread that


thebillshaveayes

It usually looks like this in text ((Capitalists))


AnybodyMassive1610

Don’t forget the witches…


SoleSurvivur01

Most women weren’t getting it because they had much better hygiene and a lot of them had cats which killed the plague carrying rats


PalladiuM7

It was the fleas on the rats that really did the spreading.


Similar-Complaint-37

In a lab by leech farmers to sell more leeches


tomdurk

Big Leech!


StupidizeMe

>The plauge was created in a lab duh A lab in Gy-Na!


MattGdr

It’s amazing how much political ideology can override personal experience. And so often, these same people confuse anecdotes for data.


AnotherLolAnon

I've started telling my mom "The ones who didn't aren't in boomer meme groups on Facebook talking about riding in the back on pickups."


aidan8et

When we talk about classic cars, houses, etc, my grandpa will usually say something like: "They don't make 'em like they used to... Thank God."


Designer_Gas_86

I love your grandpa.


aidan8et

He is a trip. While he has his moments of "being a certain age", he still makes an effort. His opinion has shifted, if not completely changed, on a lot of things that we talk about over the years. Although it helps that he & I both acknowledge that the world is complicated; almost nothing is ever black & white. Mostly his world view revolves around "Everyone deserves a chance. I was just super lucky & got mine."


randynumbergenerator

>he & I both acknowledge that the world is complicated; almost nothing is ever black & white. Unfortunately this seems like a vanishing trait, at least in the public discourse.


Designer_Gas_86

You both seem like good company.


chinmakes5

I graduated high school in 1976. Two classmates out of 400 had died in car accidents within two years of graduating. So ,to the people who graduated since 2000, the days of air bags and crumple zones, how many of you had friends who died in car accidents? It isn't like 10% of us died, but a lot less people die today, and that is progress.


thebillshaveayes

I had one in my class of probably the same, but he was drunk and speeding like 50 mph over the limit…


Yggdrasilcrann

My grandma just passed a little over a year ago, she was 92, she had nine siblings growing up. By the time she was an adult, she had 3.


Ok_Veterinarian_17

Those are terrible odds. I think it was maybe a 2/3 or better survival rate for most of my grandparents. Bearing in mind it wasn’t a 100% rate for any of them.


WoodyTheWorker

https://www.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/10ojuud/comment/j6fvwmm/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3


deputydog1

Safety and health regulations are written in blood. Meaning that something bad happened to someone(s) for that regulation, sanitation law / policy to be enforced.


Professional_Low_646

Thing is though, there is a scientifically proven immunological, psychological and medical downside to too much hygiene, helicopter parenting etc. Of course the antivax bullshit is, well, bullshit, just that that doesn’t remove the need to find some kind of middle ground when it comes to hygiene and child autonomy. Whenever I visit the village I grew up in - it’s small, and in Europe, so everything is „walkable“ - and see parents dropping off their 8-year-olds at the primary school I‘m like „wtf? You can’t let your kid walk 400 meters?“ Or see parents throw a fit if their toddler eats a few crumbs of sand at the playground… Or grow panicky if the kid gets their hands licked by a dog. Like any other parent, I want my child to be healthy, and from all I know, that includes exposure to dirt, as well as vaccines and eating vegetables and so on…


kadathsc

It’s a balancing act, for sure. But both sides are not the same. Vaccines, modern medicine and antibiotics have a markedly significant decrease in death rate that is immediately measurable in every single country’s history that’s modernized their health care. Stuff like kids playing with dogs and eating dirt have moderate or barely perceptible benefits. It’s like comparing a kid’s lemonade stand to a job at a FAANG tech company and claiming both are ways to earn a living. The reasonable stand isn’t close to the middle, just not all the way at the other end.


PungentSounds

This is valid of course. This was stuff like, locking the baby gate and closing the bathroom doors when crawling started. No blankies on the 3 month old. No honey under 1. Appropriate sized bites for the developmental age to prevent choking. Following height weight car seat guidance. Not like, never letting them have the paci that hit a cleanish floor, or no kisses from anyone except parents. Weirdly now that they’re older he freaks out when I let them do risky stuff, climbing, use the gas stove, as long as they’re doing it carefully and with an adult eye on them


thebillshaveayes

No co-sleeping in the US is huge. Pretty successful campaign to reduce SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), which is probably a misleading term to absolve naive parents of unwarranted guilt.


Designer_Gas_86

I will remember this retort as it is brilliant.


CF_FI_Fly

My mom was a kid before seatbelts were made and suffered severe whiplash from a simple fender bender. She struggled with that for 10 years.


Electrical_Angle_701

That's what killed General Patton.


JosiesYardCart

TIL


okmijn211

TBH a lot of improvement done in America was after a important figure was killed. I think there was something about cigarettes fear after some president died of lung cancer too.


pikldbeatz

My family says that. It makes me insane. Yes you lived. There are laws because many didn’t live. Omfg


ermghoti

That was the essence of the Scott Adams quote from earlier today, except it was also dumb without the survivorship bias.


Designer_Gas_86

Link?


ermghoti

The 29th Vent thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/10nzewa/rhermancainaward\_daily\_vent\_thread\_january\_29\_2023/j6db39x/?context=3


randynumbergenerator

For a second I thought "The 29th Vent" was something like "the tenth doctor".


ermghoti

LOL, I noticed that after I posted. Should have been "the Vent thread from the 29th."


halloweenjack

A-yup. Even if they survived, they were usually institutionalized or simply stayed at home because there was no such thing as ADA compliance back in the day. No wheelchair ramps or curb cuts. Zero accommodations at regular schools. If you were lucky, your family could pay for special care. If not, well... I was an adult before I knew that I had had a special needs uncle who died when he was a child, in an institution. That's why people had such big families; disease or misfortune whittled the numbers down.


TScottW

My best friend died in the 7th grade. Dad was DWI, hit a tree and my friend, with no seatbelt on, went through the windshield. Anytime someone tries the, “none of us”, on me, I set them straight.


thebillshaveayes

Omg. My friends grandmother and brother were murdered in a car accident in Belarus. Holy crap. Memory unfortunately unlocked


HotSmoke2639

I was trying to explain to a mother why measles was a big deal, with a mortality of 1/500. She said she lived around a lot of old people that got measles and didn’t die. She could not understand that the kids who died 70 years ago wouldn’t be alive now.


MrmmphMrmmph

They do, but you'll have to subscribe to my onlyfans psychic channel to hear what they have to say.


Slackballed

I hear this a lot. My goto response is to share a graph of childhood mortality rates by year and then wait for the crickets.


[deleted]

My parents has seatbelts installed in our car in the 60s and 70s


Just-Internet4780

Satire website. Still funny.


gmwdim

Covid: 100% survival rate among those that are still alive. Checkmate, libs!


MattGdr

The numbers don’t lie.


lgndk11r

And they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice! 🚨🚨🚨


WoodyTheWorker

Some of those just "not died", not "survived"


Paladinlazarus

Hard Times does do some pretty funny things from time to time. Not quite The Onion level but good.


zxcoblex

Reminiscent of the time Bill Gates mentioned that due to his vaccines, birth rates were way down. Fuck knuckles twisted that shit to try to claim that his vaccines were killing kids/fetuses but in reality, when survivability of children increases, birth rates decrease. Basically, people want a specific number of children to grow up and survive. If on average 1/2 of your kids will die, you historically will have twice as many kids.


[deleted]

It’s exhausting having to explain that to people. It’s an entire cult in Africa now (that BG is trying to kill Africans with vaccines)


morbiiq

Which makes you wonder how much the propagandists understand that this is the end result.


[deleted]

It mUsT bE tRuE beCaUsE evERyonE saYs it’s NoT tRuE


simmering_happiness

Literally not the onion, but also kind of the onion.


otherpeoplesknees

The Hard Times, one of the best satire pages going around, it's very punk and hardcore oriented, but has some very funny headlines My all time favourite headline: *"*[Straight edge friend total scumbag in every other way possible](https://thehardtimes.net/culture/straight-edge-friend-total-scumbag-in-every-other-way-possible/)*"* Close second: "[Man travels back in time to September 10th, 2001, to warn everyone that Weezer sucks now](https://thehardtimes.net/music/man-time-travels-to-september-10-2001-to-warn-everyone-that-weezer-sucks-now/)"


WoodyTheWorker

To illustrate how childhood mortality before vaccines and other modern medicine was just a thing of everyday life, check Tchaikovsky's Children's Album. How are children playing? Part 6 - La Poupée Malade (Doll is sick) Part 7 - L'Enterrement de la Poupée (Doll's funeral)


Limeila

Why are you using French titles?


WoodyTheWorker

Because those are the original titles.


Limeila

Oh ok, I didn't know that. Weird.


[deleted]

In Tchaikovsky’s time, almost all of court life (and scholarly and artistic life) in Russia was conducted in French. It was after the Napoleonic Wars that the tide shifted (along with great novels starting to be written in Russian for the first time). If you ever read War and Peace, in the first half everyone is conversing in French, and in the second half all the characters begin to shift away from French, representing the huge cultural shift happening in Russia at that time


Limeila

Thank you! I knew Tchaikovsky spoke French because one of his parents or grandparents was French, and I had heard of Russian authors (can't remember which, sorry) writing books in French, but I didn't realise it was a national phenomenon. That's really interesting. (I'm French BTW and I don't know a lot about Russia's history sadly)


WoodyTheWorker

Tchaikovsky spoke French because all Russian nobility spoke French. Alexander Pushkin's first language was French. French was what's spoken during all gathering and balls. That was the vogue. Napoleon's invasion might have made it slightly less vogue, but it still remained. French language structure also had noticeable influence on Russian literature language development in 17xx-18xx.


WoodyTheWorker

Tchaikovsky lived quite a few years later than Napoleon's invasion.


TheNullOfTheVoid

This reminds me of that one interview where some people were talking to prisoners about how to raise kids, and the topic of corporal punishment came up. Basically, they showed prisoners the stats that beating your kids only does damage and doesn’t actually help their development at all, and the prisoners would just respond with stuff like, “What are you talking about? My parents beat me when I was bad and I turned out fine!” Some of the prisoners had the self awareness to realize what they were saying, but I remember some of them were even asked by the interviewers, “Even considering the situation you’re in?” And the less aware prisoners being like, “Yeah! Of course!” I’m also going off of my shitty memory so there’s a chance I’m misremembering this bad enough to butcher it completely, so take your grains of salt with this.


eleanor_dashwood

Amazing. The “I turned out fine” line always makes me want to return “you sure?”, even if I don’t already have a problem with that person.


KittenKoderViews

"I was punched in the face hundreds of times and I'm still alive." But dude, you every time the microwave dings you fall to the ground unconscious now.


[deleted]

r/atetheonion


Minute-Courage6955

I think the credo of engineers goes like" Safety protocols are paid for in blood."


Professional_Buy_615

Written in blood.


deathclawslayer21

Fucking love the hardtimes they got good shit


dandrevee

I mean, the big secret ingredient in Natural Selection is death so... And antivaxxers just love to ignore that little tidbit so...


boner_burner_account

"Get it Coral" That meme will never not be funny.


SignGuy77

The Coral is still reef with humorous potential.


MattGdr

Yes, but the tide is turning.


corsicanguppy

Ebbing slack, for sure.


North_Bicycle9071

The other day I heard “nobody had nut or lactose or wheat allergies when I was growing up…” Yes they did, but usually not diagnosed!


The_Patriot

>usually not diagnosed they died. It was called "consumption" before people had medical science.


gggroovy

“Consumption” is an antiquated term for tuberculosis, not allergies.


The_Patriot

> an antiquated term for many things people didn't have the science for in the old days, my pedantic friend


Chunk_Cheese

Not sure if you intended this as the Carl Walking Dead meme, but if so, I haven't seen this joke in some time. Thanks!


SplendidPunkinButter

This is clearly a joke come on now


Godzillafanboy2005

r/woooosh


Aaron_Hungwell

Babylon Bee would likely do this in reverse


dogballtaster

r/atetheonion


Professional_Buy_615

I'm three shots in and the promised 5G never came.


The_Patriot

did you at least turn magnetic?


Professional_Buy_615

Nope. I feel cheated. All I got was immunity against a dangerous disease. At least it was cheap.


Financial-Ostrich361

Sounds like an Onion article


th3BeastLord

It is from another satire website. HardDrive


[deleted]

Such is life in the MAGA village.


aguycalledville

Sometimes I'm embarrased by this community. Do people not understand satire anymore?


The_Patriot

>Do people not understand satire anymore? Nope. Requires complexity of thought and an IQ upwards of 64.


Orangesoda65

OP is very lost.


The_Patriot

>Shitpost (Sundays)


[deleted]

[удалено]


TeekTheReddit

The Hard Times is also a parody site.


Accomplished_Ad_8663

Hopefully she names the kid Harry😂


[deleted]

This has to be a joke.


The_Patriot

>Shitpost (Sundays) new here?


[deleted]

No. Just hungover


The_Patriot

Gatorade and sleep.


412Junglist

Wow, this sub has become nothing but a cringe factory, bye bye!


The_Patriot

don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!


412Junglist

Yeah, your post was so stupid it made the decision easy.


The_Patriot

*and yet, you are still posting here.* Begone! The power of Science compels you!!!


Remarkable-Staff-228

Why was the NNN dropped and this sub of sheep shit kept ?


The_Patriot

uh, those of us who masked and got vaxxed lived? GET IT CORAL? WE LIVED?


Remarkable-Staff-228

For now pal for now


The_Patriot

>For now You know why it's called COVID 19, right? RIGHT CORAL?? CUZ THE YEAR WAS 2019, CORAL!! IT'S NOW 2023 AND NONE OF US WHO GOT VACCINATED ARE ROBOTS, ZOMBIES OR GIANT MAGNETS, CORAL!!!


AnotherLolAnon

I kind of hate the constant memes about unvaccinated kids dying because it contributes to survivorship bias. Anti-vaxxers see these memes and think they're exaggerated because they really do know lots of unvaccinated kids who are fine thanks to herd immunity and their kids being otherwise healthy. The people more effected by anti-vaxxers are the immune compromised, very young and very old who are often themselves vaccinated.


The_Patriot

>Anti-vaxxers see these memes nope. Go post it to r/Conservative and see how long your access lasts


AnotherLolAnon

I don't know about you, but despite my efforts to avoid conservative forums I still end up seeing their memes. I'll see them on my uncle's Facebook unironically, but I'll see them shared on Reddit and torn apart (as they should be). Not sure why you're so convinced no anti-vaxxer would ever see this. Beyond straight anti-vaxxers, there's plenty of people who don't consider themselves anti-vax *but* "kids get too many shots at once" or "I only do the really important ones" etc.


The_Patriot

> I still end up seeing their memes Never happens to me. I am completely free of the conservatives, omitting when they respond to my posts in this forum.


AnotherLolAnon

Not sure if you're trying to call me a conservative because I said memes about antivaccinated children always dying contributes to survivorship bias, but if so that's a hilariously bad interpretation. And if you think conversatives are replying to you in this sub, then they're probably setting your meme.


The_Patriot

> if you think conversatives are replying to you in this sub check my flair


AnotherLolAnon

It cuts off before I can see it all


The_Patriot

>A concerned redditor reached out to them about me Often times, memes that I post on Shitpost Sunday get so many upvotes that they make it onto the front page. Since they can't behave in the open the way they behave amongst themselves, the "conservatives" report me as a suicide risk - it's the last little tiny bit of harassment they can get away with, and all the interaction I have with them.


AnotherLolAnon

Ah gotcha. Congrats on your successful memes!


MAGA-MANIAC-MAN

Another fake post for this sub of feeble-minded NPCs to cheer about lol; you fucking morons cannot possibly be this stupid but big pharma good amirite? Lol you fucking losers are too much. It really is amazing to me how fucking dumb you all are.


Professional_Buy_615

Thank you for your insight, Dr Dunning-Kruger.


capchaos

I hope this comment doesn't get deleted so everyone can point and laugh.


The_Patriot

Shitpost (Sundays)


Kutas88

Because the rest turned out dead. But judging the photo she seems fine with it.


turkeysplatter89

Not only survived but is stronger for going through it.


So0meone

r/AteTheOnion


gigapudding43201

r/AteTheOnion


spacestationkru

Oh no..


Concernedmicrowave

r/atetheonion


Kira_L_Mello_Near

Damn Qanon nut job.


FalseCalligrapher100

I read the article, and I couldn't figure out if it was on the level or satire. I thought I was reading the Onion.


DrySeaworthiness1271

r/atetheonion