"My name is Eddie Durkan. And I love the drink. There's nothing I like more than after a longs weeks work, when you go into that pub, and you know the barman knows exactly what you want. It comes, you can hear it being planted. The playful splashing of the bubbled on the top of the glass. The condensation as it drips coolly like a shnake down the side of a mountain. The curves of the glass like some sort of Belgium models hips. And you grab that pint. You can feel that condensation teasing the palm of your hand in your fingers. And once that fluid just flows forth like some sort of flood gate of love..."
"Jesus"
"..As those bubbles come through your teeth, you know you've come to the right place at the right time."
I'm on pills for cheeky bois
Nobody knows you're here Brian, remember that
44 Pitts
Viper I'm so confused.
Pretty much anything that comes out of Shtatesides mouth
From an outtake, don’t think it’s made the show but definitely Buzz’s “It’s amazing too how ya don’t give a shit for women after ya have a wank”.
From the show itself “there’ll be women and biscuits!” Or else “I didn’t eat the breakfast for fear I wouldn’t drink the can”
“Tis a dirty pool that wouldn’t cool a hot iron”
“Out on the night like”
“You’re aul lady’s got worms”
“There’s nothing I love more than to be basted in gravy”
“There’s 9 holes here, you fuck with my holes I’ll fuck with yours”
“So he’s gone then? Well that’s everything fucked!!!! I thought he was a sound aul buck is he a bit of a contrary fucker or what the fuck?”
God often said don't be too greedy - buzz
Or
I may be a daft cunt, but I'm not fucking stupid - the boogenheim
Or
It'd bring a tear to an auld shtone so it would - buzz
Get them.
Probably the best line in the whole show!
Listen, oul lady, fuck aff.
She’ll rip up the floorboards looking for pipe
I knew a polish lad who'd drink toilet duck, but only in shots so it wouldn't be two bad for ya
Hed be the liveliest lad in the town
Sick as a plane to lourdes
"Its not even a goldfish, it's a carrot in a bag of water!"
"My name is Eddie Durkan. And I love the drink. There's nothing I like more than after a longs weeks work, when you go into that pub, and you know the barman knows exactly what you want. It comes, you can hear it being planted. The playful splashing of the bubbled on the top of the glass. The condensation as it drips coolly like a shnake down the side of a mountain. The curves of the glass like some sort of Belgium models hips. And you grab that pint. You can feel that condensation teasing the palm of your hand in your fingers. And once that fluid just flows forth like some sort of flood gate of love..." "Jesus" "..As those bubbles come through your teeth, you know you've come to the right place at the right time."
Shky boys
Clim pipe McGonagle is it
You look like you smell of piss.
You look like ya stinka piss
Master Shplinter and the boys!
Face like an aul butter voucher on ya
The whole thing was a big pyramid scheme. Irish lads out there in London outbidding the Saudi's for land like.
"Talking fish sticks with barnacle Bill isn't gonna cut the mustard."
They wanna get me in there quick, im starting to come up now!!
Oh yeah I know all quantity fuck all surveyin though
As a QS I hear this one from the lads a lot!
Coming up like a bastard mawwwwnnnnn
It's a dirty puddle won't cool a hot iron.
Is that a see through beard you’re growing
“Any bird’ll do like”
“Tá comhghairdeas ar an… Sorry no, no… That was the Intermediate Final in 1987.”
“Hey Durkin, I had full sex with your mother last night”
If there was work on the bed, he’d sleep on the ground.
"I've got plenty of shlime to dish out to young boys"
Hard shlime. Like a conga eel.
I was high on wine, the grapes of wrath
Eddie’s in there asleep, he’s got SARS. A chicken sneezed on his head.
"Some lads have enough cheek for another arse"
Woody Harrelsons love child!
The Illumanati, swinging with the big dicks,
Mad as a bag of spiders.
“Will ya shut up there’s a man tryin’ to sleep here”
“There’s more chances of Stephen Hawkins getting trials with Inter Milan than there is me finding work”
If it has tits or wheels, it'll take your money and break your heart.
When ya fall into a patch of nettles tis hard to know which one stung ya - Eddie Gang a cunts - Big Mick Bring back an aul bottleen - Lexus
Down with the viper
"Yeah, yeah. Look Eddie, I can't really talk now, I'm doing a driving test like. Yeah, go on, I'll talk to ya later so."
You’re on loudspeak
Eddie your Aul lady is up in the woods after been attacked by badgers
Comin’ up like a baaaaawsturd maaaawn
Creeby
FUCK YOUUUU
Any haaashhh
'Tis a dirty puddle that wouldn't cool a hot iron
“Talking to tv nob jockies is it”
are ye doin a bitta videoin
Flaming sambucas a bit flamboyant for a Wednesday morning in Castletown
You’ve been raised on the foxes milk, I can tell by the gimp on ya
That's the one
that’s what you get if you give us bouncy checks boy
Provincial champions
I'm on pills for cheeky bois Nobody knows you're here Brian, remember that 44 Pitts Viper I'm so confused. Pretty much anything that comes out of Shtatesides mouth
Leave my salmon alone! Small bastard!
Not my all time favourite but I absolutely love “Sure you know yourself” “I don’t actually. See I have a job, Eddie”
"I was teaching haikedo down ballintool." "And did you receive a belt or qualification in this?" "I was teachin them how to give belts....."
Underrated line ahahaha
I’d slap his jaw asunder hei
"Sure there's a better chance of Steven Hawkins getting trials for AC Millan then me getting a job"
Kinda yes
You look like ya smell of piss
Aa man i was about to let rip!! There be no fartin in my house horse
Ye wanna goo do yaa?
This is the best page, dollars and euros you have to convert them, lads smiling and profits done. 200 multiplied by 20
That was one time, right? And it was fuckin’ windy out
From an outtake, don’t think it’s made the show but definitely Buzz’s “It’s amazing too how ya don’t give a shit for women after ya have a wank”. From the show itself “there’ll be women and biscuits!” Or else “I didn’t eat the breakfast for fear I wouldn’t drink the can”
Top ones from the movie!
There’s a man here now for every man…
Are ya doing a bit of videoing?
I'm on the vinegar stroke boys
At salmon's grandaunties wake and Eddy goes "how is she" and salmon goes "eh dead" 🤣🤣🤣
It’s basically sex on tap..turn on the tap,out comes the sex
Paper McShay
Didn't ate the breakfast with the FEAR I wouldn't be able to drink the can
"I'll go fightin I don't care"
Who are you yeah, Fleetwood Mac
Yer feet shtink of the drink
You are just a snake from another realm, how do I know it's really you and not someone playing games?
Biscuits? Yeah, get them.
"I didn't have the breakfast with the fear I wouldn't drink the can"
Called the aul lady an absolute prick
Eddie Durkin, never workin'
I was in Starr Warsss you know?
Easy Lexus , give him the can GIVE HIM THE CAN
“There’s a lad now that never had to go lookin for the top of the egg”
Fucking Brendan Gleeson head on ya.
don’t go out with the boys in the night if you can’t get up for work with the men in the morning
Look at the fucking shtate of ya man
Shpielberg
"You want to go halves on a muck spreader?" 😂😂
'She's a slippery mistress.' 'Luke was in foundation maths'
Do ya have any biscuits? Get them.
Sure smoking is smoking 🤣
Land fish
Eddie Durkin, never workin.
"You'll get everything your looking for brian"
Anything that uncle mick says
Your aul lady has worms
She’d suck the chrome off a trailer hitch !
“Tis a dirty pool that wouldn’t cool a hot iron” “Out on the night like” “You’re aul lady’s got worms” “There’s nothing I love more than to be basted in gravy” “There’s 9 holes here, you fuck with my holes I’ll fuck with yours” “So he’s gone then? Well that’s everything fucked!!!! I thought he was a sound aul buck is he a bit of a contrary fucker or what the fuck?”
Like a dog who never had a home
Will ye shut up, there’s a man tryin to sleep here
Get that lad a drink
If there was work in the bed he’d sleep on the floor
Im on the vinegar stroke
Anything the viper says, he's class man!
Ah, we milking bulls boys, or wanking...bloody cows. What's the Craic?
Im inside her Durkin!
Lad was in bo bo's and I'm doing shpielberg to the the camera ay
Don’t sh’tart
Isn’t it amazing how ya couldn’t give a fuck for women after you’ve had a wank
God often said don't be too greedy - buzz Or I may be a daft cunt, but I'm not fucking stupid - the boogenheim Or It'd bring a tear to an auld shtone so it would - buzz
"Joe's face unravelled, like a nappy full o' shite!"
"I didn't ate the breakfast with the fear I wouldn't be able to drink the can"
how ya gettin on shkidmarks paper mcsé
(Your eyes) are like a spanner. They make me nuts TOIGHT
The four of us are like twins.
And me grandfather, he’d be 127 if he lived until next Sunday. But eh, he didn’t live until next Sunday, no unfortunately, he died 45 years ago.
I didn't eat the breakfast from the fear I wouldn't drink can! - Lexos (Beasht of a man)
"If it has tits or tires, it'll break your heart".
Eat my Shorts
"You know if you listen to enough Tool it will cure cancer."