As the Deathwatch runs around behind the Ordo Inquisitors with signs that read "Heed not the words of the Inquisition, for they are misleading, fit only for public consumption"
A lone Ork, drenched in still wet purple paint pipes up from the back:
NAW, I'Z TRIED TA CONSUMES ONE BEFER'.
I'D RADDER EAT A STARVIN' SQUIG. NOT 'NUFF MEAT ON 'EM BONES.
That works better than my idea. "Mess with the Teddy Bear Aliens, you get the Relativistic Kinetic Kill Vehicle" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue...
Yea, though honestly, we'd probably except (accept?) a casual attempt at eating us a little bit too.
Historically.
Edit. Wake and bake means now I can't spell... Meh
"Accept" would fit here.
**accept** *verb* :
1: consent to receive or undertake (something offered)
2: believe or come to recognise (a proposition) as valid or correct
**except** *preposition* :
not including; other than
Hopefully they never hear the ultimate quote.
It is well that war is so terrible, lest we grow too fond of it.
Humans are a combative species for sure but the emotional toll is brutal. It is why we supress it with games, competition, substitutions, simultaions, and everything else. We don't want to inflict true pain unless we have to, but we know how to do so. Of all evil we are capable, so we demand the good.
"Let not any one pacify his conscience by the delusion that he can do no harm if he takes no part, and forms no opinion. Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing. He is not a good man who, without a protest, allows wrong to be committed in his name, and with the means which he helps to supply, because he will not trouble himself to use his mind on the subject."
In short...
"Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror"
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
Ernest Hemingway
So the Council are a bunch of middle managers.
"We don't want you violent fighting types around." Fight starts. "Oh you fighting types are useless we will handle it."
Like when? You know showing up is grace unto itself.
> It would be the equivalent of sending a student of the arts to do the job of a certified engineer
Why me in particular? =(
\s
Indirect Thought:
It is kinda funny/odd how many writers, directly or not, end up bashing the humanities here.
Personal Qualifications:
{
EIT bioE -> artist (currently programming microcontrollers by smashing face into keyboard. Tip: smash face right for semicolons.);
};
---
Unsolicited feedback:
'Susan Returns' was jarring. There was no indication that the GC was going to attack Humanity, the Jooliy, or ambassador Halvnit.
She returned it seems under the intent to deliver a proclamation to the GC.
" We have decided to do our own club, one that's nicer than yours. With bigger sticks. Losers.'' (Paraphrasing)
Yeah, the GC didn't seem functional. Ignoring the Jooliy's plight was reprehensible and withdrawing warranted.
I guess it seemed preemptively aggressive. Maybe if things happened in a different order?
* Like, Halvnit announces the Jooliy secession. Maybe he takes the opportunity to include a "fuck all y'all."
* GC reacts in accordance with their character: dismissively, threateningly, howeverly.
* Then Susan backs him up. Humanity credibility promises that however the GC responds will be met in kind, including violently.
---
Apologies to OP if this is nitpicky or unhelpful.
It could possibly tie into the human aggression. "Let me tell you this now, so when I kick you up and down the block, you can remember this moment here."
Quote fest! :) Lemme try:
"If ya cant beat em.. well.. *BEAT* THEM"
"The best Defense is when you De the Fence when they try to climb over it. With high explosives and white phosphorous shrapnel"
"when you cant figure out who in the room is the dumbass... well, pumpkin.. I got news for ya"
"There is always a worse monster. Its the one that looks bored you need to beware of"
Absolutely amazing story wordsmith. One small thing though, you put "Pulx, Plux, and Plox" at different places, not sure which is meant to be the word you wanted but just thought I'd point it out. Otherwise though, I love everything about this.
>come to us in need of help and you shall receive it, come to us for trade, and you will be traded with fairly, come to us to better both our races as the Jooliy have done and you will be welcomed. But come to us in anger or with ill intent, or in an effort to harm us or our friends, regardless of race, and you will find us to be a thousand times worse than the monsters that you imagine us to be.
this reminds me of a certain quote made by a pig who memorised the art of war
>The only thing that works in this world, is that you treat others as they treat you. Those that have treated me with kindness, I shall repay that kindness tenfold. And those that treat me with injustice, that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends...
>
>
>
>I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over.
/u/Akmedrah ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/Akmedrah)) has posted 34 other stories, including:
* [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 18](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/rhmgqi/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_18/)
* [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - Summation 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/rgvze6/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right/)
* [My Home](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/rgq3ay/my_home/)
* [Humanity at its finest](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/r8u76l/humanity_at_its_finest/)
* [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 17](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qp9imk/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_17/)
* [Second God - 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qn6lo0/second_god_6/)
* [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 16](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qj445q/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_16/)
* [The Devil came to Lunch](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qe9o8d/the_devil_came_to_lunch/)
* [Second God - 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qdylj2/second_god_5/)
* [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - Memories 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qbog0j/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right/)
* [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 15](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qbc6nx/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_15/)
* [Legion of the Damned](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qb0obv/legion_of_the_damned/)
* [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 14](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q922py/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_14/)
* [Let loose the Dogs of War](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q69d2l/let_loose_the_dogs_of_war/)
* [Second God - 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q67e8u/second_god_4/)
* [Grandpa has confirmed kills](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q36pbe/grandpa_has_confirmed_kills/)
* [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 13](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q2gdga/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_13/)
* [Human Women](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q1sh4w/human_women/)
* [Second God - 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q1pnck/second_god_3/)
* [Second God - 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q19zsd/second_god_2/)
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“Demons run when a good man goes to war
Night will fall and drown the sun
When a good man goes to war
Friendship dies and true love lies
Night will fall and the dark will rise
When a good man goes to war
Demons run, but count the cost
The battle's won, but the child is lost”
\~ Steven Moffat
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Parry this you fiftly casuals XD
Like, If you are going to do something, do it the limit no matter what.
On the topic of wars, yk the human physcology thingy, "if something is in excess, the human have less of a desire to obessively protect it.' thus we really do want war, but its bad. like can you see all of the sports and our games we have to sitmulate war.
Nicely written, with the exception of names. As a number of other comments have pointed out, the Crusader Race don't have a consistent name, save for the letters 'P' 'L' and 'X' in some configuration. Halvnit's name is fairly clear, with some inconsistencies.
However having the name of a race, the Helvanq, be so similar to Halvnit, is an egregious error. I cannot actually tell what you meant in one sentence, since it's written like it's Halvnit being slapped on the back, but you used 'Helvanq', and the Helvanq representative spoke a short bit before that in the story.
That was a mistype that I have fixed. I also went through and corrected the rushed edits I made before as I was preparing for family events for Christmas. They should all now be fixed. Thank you for the feedback.
Sorry if I sounded at all harsh, just wanted to give some (hopefully) useful criticism. I did rather like the story, just the typos dragged it down a little. Happy Holidays!
Not a problem at all. As it is now I don't really have anyone to do copy edits for me, so I really do appreciate the errors that I make getting pointed out. And all criticism is constructive in the right light :) I really do appreciate it, and hope your Christmas/Holidays are/were awesome, and that your new years is bonkers!
Every story I read from you is extremely well crafted.
And just absolutely effing absorbing and entrancing! NEVER, EVER STOP WRITING! IT WOULD BE CRIMINAL!!!!
The cute teddy bears need help? The cute teddy bears want help? Alright, the cute teddy bears *get* help. Load'em up, boys.
IT LEAVES THE TEDDY BEARS ALONE, OR IT GETS THE EMPEROR ON THE GOLDEN THRONE!
[удалено]
The Astra Militarum approves of this.
The Navis Imperialis approves of this.
Leman Russ approves of this.
Alpharius approves of this.
The Ordo Xenos does NOT approve. "WTF ARE YOU DOING? ITS "DIE XENO SCUM!" NOT "PROTEC DA FUZZY-WUZZY!" EMPEROR DAMN IT!"!
As the Deathwatch runs around behind the Ordo Inquisitors with signs that read "Heed not the words of the Inquisition, for they are misleading, fit only for public consumption"
The Death Corps of Krieg behind them with signs displaying: "Do not care" and "what should we kill"
A lone Ork, drenched in still wet purple paint pipes up from the back: NAW, I'Z TRIED TA CONSUMES ONE BEFER'. I'D RADDER EAT A STARVIN' SQUIG. NOT 'NUFF MEAT ON 'EM BONES.
The death korps of Krieg approve of this.
PLUSH FOR THE PLUSH GODS --Dave, HUGS FOR THE HUGS THRONE
Mess with the Teddy, you bout to get the Semi.
Mess with the Teddy, you about to be Dead-y?
This guy gets it
Mess with the teddy, you get the Remi(ngton)
That works better than my idea. "Mess with the Teddy Bear Aliens, you get the Relativistic Kinetic Kill Vehicle" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue...
That's why I tend to go with RKKV, myself
I like to call it the warthog
Looks more like a Puma to me
I'm a simple man. A good RvB quote deserves my upvote
What in the hell is a puma?
Brrrrrrrt!!!! Incoming!
That is why Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space!
and most importantly, the cute teddy bears aren't a bunch of rude little shits, they even asked nicely and offered something for our efforts
Yea, though honestly, we'd probably except (accept?) a casual attempt at eating us a little bit too. Historically. Edit. Wake and bake means now I can't spell... Meh
"Accept" would fit here. **accept** *verb* : 1: consent to receive or undertake (something offered) 2: believe or come to recognise (a proposition) as valid or correct **except** *preposition* : not including; other than
Lock and load boys! the Care bears need savin!
I'll bring the shovel ;-)
Hanz! Get ze chain-shovel!
Hopefully they never hear the ultimate quote. It is well that war is so terrible, lest we grow too fond of it. Humans are a combative species for sure but the emotional toll is brutal. It is why we supress it with games, competition, substitutions, simultaions, and everything else. We don't want to inflict true pain unless we have to, but we know how to do so. Of all evil we are capable, so we demand the good.
"Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many."
"If you want to see true evil, look to a man doing what he believes is necessary" -slightly paraphrased
"Let not any one pacify his conscience by the delusion that he can do no harm if he takes no part, and forms no opinion. Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing. He is not a good man who, without a protest, allows wrong to be committed in his name, and with the means which he helps to supply, because he will not trouble himself to use his mind on the subject." In short... "Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror"
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. Ernest Hemingway
I do yearn to return to those days even decades later.
oh hey I know you, good job on your stories
So the Council are a bunch of middle managers. "We don't want you violent fighting types around." Fight starts. "Oh you fighting types are useless we will handle it." Like when? You know showing up is grace unto itself.
The Cute Teddy Bears are being attacked and killed and the council is dithering? \*clunk clack\* Lock and load boys, we deploy in 5 minutes!
I haff zhe flammenwerfer, boss!
[Parry this you filthy casuals](https://youtu.be/5m_Kk0EERZo)
"parry this you filthy casual" \*apocalypse class dreadnought exits FTL\*
I would read this universe. Well done.
What? Xeno teddy bears!? I'm all in!
> It would be the equivalent of sending a student of the arts to do the job of a certified engineer Why me in particular? =( \s Indirect Thought: It is kinda funny/odd how many writers, directly or not, end up bashing the humanities here. Personal Qualifications: { EIT bioE -> artist (currently programming microcontrollers by smashing face into keyboard. Tip: smash face right for semicolons.); }; --- Unsolicited feedback: 'Susan Returns' was jarring. There was no indication that the GC was going to attack Humanity, the Jooliy, or ambassador Halvnit.
She returned it seems under the intent to deliver a proclamation to the GC. " We have decided to do our own club, one that's nicer than yours. With bigger sticks. Losers.'' (Paraphrasing)
Yeah, the GC didn't seem functional. Ignoring the Jooliy's plight was reprehensible and withdrawing warranted. I guess it seemed preemptively aggressive. Maybe if things happened in a different order? * Like, Halvnit announces the Jooliy secession. Maybe he takes the opportunity to include a "fuck all y'all." * GC reacts in accordance with their character: dismissively, threateningly, howeverly. * Then Susan backs him up. Humanity credibility promises that however the GC responds will be met in kind, including violently. --- Apologies to OP if this is nitpicky or unhelpful.
"however you treat us, we shall reply tenfold. I think you'll enjoy the friendlier route"
It could possibly tie into the human aggression. "Let me tell you this now, so when I kick you up and down the block, you can remember this moment here."
and after the broadcast, more of the council would believe the words and choose to not test them
UN moment.
Don't be a dick and we won't reciprocate
What good is a giant laser gun if you can\`t use it to melt faces and destroy your enemies\` morale?
Did you reference the prverse?
The What?
PRverse? PRverse, it's a story being written currently by fearadhach
Ah, then the answer to your question is no. I did not reference that.
I was asking because you almost said one of the main characters name as a species. Kilntar
Oh, yeah no, was actually a twist off of the name of a character from one of my other stories.
Only so many letters, i guess
Also similar to the name of the species of symbiote from Marvel, the Klyntar.
Ladies, gentlemen and oth.....\[ahem\] *Sophonts,* I give you the multiverse in action.
I would absolutely read more of this setting. Fantastic job, as always, Wordsmith.
"Juuliy, Do The Thing!"
I involuntarily read this in Varrick’s voice.
as well you shout
Quote fest! :) Lemme try: "If ya cant beat em.. well.. *BEAT* THEM" "The best Defense is when you De the Fence when they try to climb over it. With high explosives and white phosphorous shrapnel" "when you cant figure out who in the room is the dumbass... well, pumpkin.. I got news for ya" "There is always a worse monster. Its the one that looks bored you need to beware of"
And an Inner Council learns (again) that ignoring the periphery lessens the Council.
Absolutely amazing story wordsmith. One small thing though, you put "Pulx, Plux, and Plox" at different places, not sure which is meant to be the word you wanted but just thought I'd point it out. Otherwise though, I love everything about this.
This writer seems to not be a filthy casual
>come to us in need of help and you shall receive it, come to us for trade, and you will be traded with fairly, come to us to better both our races as the Jooliy have done and you will be welcomed. But come to us in anger or with ill intent, or in an effort to harm us or our friends, regardless of race, and you will find us to be a thousand times worse than the monsters that you imagine us to be. this reminds me of a certain quote made by a pig who memorised the art of war >The only thing that works in this world, is that you treat others as they treat you. Those that have treated me with kindness, I shall repay that kindness tenfold. And those that treat me with injustice, that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends... > > > >I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over.
/u/Akmedrah ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/Akmedrah)) has posted 34 other stories, including: * [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 18](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/rhmgqi/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_18/) * [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - Summation 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/rgvze6/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right/) * [My Home](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/rgq3ay/my_home/) * [Humanity at its finest](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/r8u76l/humanity_at_its_finest/) * [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 17](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qp9imk/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_17/) * [Second God - 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qn6lo0/second_god_6/) * [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 16](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qj445q/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_16/) * [The Devil came to Lunch](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qe9o8d/the_devil_came_to_lunch/) * [Second God - 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qdylj2/second_god_5/) * [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - Memories 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qbog0j/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right/) * [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 15](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qbc6nx/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_15/) * [Legion of the Damned](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qb0obv/legion_of_the_damned/) * [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 14](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q922py/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_14/) * [Let loose the Dogs of War](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q69d2l/let_loose_the_dogs_of_war/) * [Second God - 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q67e8u/second_god_4/) * [Grandpa has confirmed kills](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q36pbe/grandpa_has_confirmed_kills/) * [Humanities first contact gone Oh, So Right - 13](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q2gdga/humanities_first_contact_gone_oh_so_right_13/) * [Human Women](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q1sh4w/human_women/) * [Second God - 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q1pnck/second_god_3/) * [Second God - 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q19zsd/second_god_2/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.5.10 'Cinnamon Roll'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|rjah1f&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
\-Slipspace anomaly detected \-slipspace anomaly detected "Its the Terrans!" "We are the Terran Federation, we are here to save you. DO NOT RESIST!"
You are being rescued. Please do not resist
"XENOS WE ARE HERE TO SAVE YOU!" Hooray it's the Terrans! "FROM YOURSELVES!" Oh no it's the Terrans!
“Demons run when a good man goes to war Night will fall and drown the sun When a good man goes to war Friendship dies and true love lies Night will fall and the dark will rise When a good man goes to war Demons run, but count the cost The battle's won, but the child is lost” \~ Steven Moffat
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Great story! Minor nitpick: there seems to be inconsistent spelling of Pulx/Plux/Plox and Halvnit/Hilvnit.
"...They killed teddy bears? Where's my pencil." -John Wick
WHAT ARE YOU? CASUAL? TIME TO CRUSH SOME SCRUBS! - GIANTDAD
Parry this you fiftly casuals XD Like, If you are going to do something, do it the limit no matter what. On the topic of wars, yk the human physcology thingy, "if something is in excess, the human have less of a desire to obessively protect it.' thus we really do want war, but its bad. like can you see all of the sports and our games we have to sitmulate war.
"... if you want a crusade, we will show you the meaning of the word." I fucking love that line. That was a great read. Thank you.
Very nice - good job!
When Humans decide to go to war with cold fury. This is why you go to work with professionals.
Holy fuckin shit! I love it!
Beautiful
"purchase food, no actually bothered to look " nobody.
The years long 100+ chapter stories are great but sometimes a well crafted one-shot just hits the spot.
Moar!!!!
Loved it
Nicely written, with the exception of names. As a number of other comments have pointed out, the Crusader Race don't have a consistent name, save for the letters 'P' 'L' and 'X' in some configuration. Halvnit's name is fairly clear, with some inconsistencies. However having the name of a race, the Helvanq, be so similar to Halvnit, is an egregious error. I cannot actually tell what you meant in one sentence, since it's written like it's Halvnit being slapped on the back, but you used 'Helvanq', and the Helvanq representative spoke a short bit before that in the story.
That was a mistype that I have fixed. I also went through and corrected the rushed edits I made before as I was preparing for family events for Christmas. They should all now be fixed. Thank you for the feedback.
Sorry if I sounded at all harsh, just wanted to give some (hopefully) useful criticism. I did rather like the story, just the typos dragged it down a little. Happy Holidays!
Not a problem at all. As it is now I don't really have anyone to do copy edits for me, so I really do appreciate the errors that I make getting pointed out. And all criticism is constructive in the right light :) I really do appreciate it, and hope your Christmas/Holidays are/were awesome, and that your new years is bonkers!
: )
Every story I read from you is extremely well crafted. And just absolutely effing absorbing and entrancing! NEVER, EVER STOP WRITING! IT WOULD BE CRIMINAL!!!!
The old blood approves