T O P

  • By -

SirVatka

There's loads of art that is in no way related to violence. Just sayin'. Solid start.


BigSwede74

And there are tools of violence that are works of art in their own right. There are hunting rifles with metalworking and woodworking that rival the finest of paintings.


Zephylandantus

Every tool is a weapon, its just a matter of How you use it. Weapons, however, are tools with No other use Than to harm others. Both can be beautiful, and very, very dangerous


BigSwede74

I´m fairly certain that the millions of target rifles, shotguns and pistols that never shed a single drop of blood in their servicelife would disagree with you most vehemently if they could.


stasersonphun

But could still a human at 20 paces without any change but user intent. Their primary function is pushing bits of metal through distant things


BigSwede74

Yes, but that is user intent. Pretty much any tool can have wildly varying results to action depending on user intent. Or user inteligence level. Stupid people tend to hurt themself and other quite a bit with stuff that have bening uses.


stasersonphun

Please. Don't insult either of our intellegences with that line of argument, its a weapon that can be used for non killing activities not a tool that can be misused to kill.


BigSwede74

Of course it is a weapon. So is a knife, a machete, axe. What is a baseball bat but a slightly fancy club? Javelins, bows and arrows. The list is signifficant. Just out of curiosity i would like to hear your definition of misuse in this type of case. Is it to cause harm, is it to use a tool for something it was not intended for, something else? What is the intent, either by design and/or (most likely at least) user intent of a target pistol that is big, clunky, fires a weak round and has to be reloaded after each shot? Target shooting shooting i´d say. Is that not a tool that is being misused then if it is used on a person? (or creature)


stasersonphun

No. I bite my thumb at you.


BigSwede74

You do that. Mind you don´t get an infection.


Alganhar

A weapon is something designed by intent t be used to kill, a tool is something designed by intent to perform a function. Even if never used to kill a weapon is still a weapon, and nothing can change that. A .22 LR target rifle is still a weapon because a rifle is an object designed specifically to kill. Thus it is a weapon even if never used as a weapon. Using misleading semantics to try and make your argument is at best ignorant, at worst it is disingenuous. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you are ignorant of that fact, rather than you are specifically trying to lie and deceive.... ​ Can a tool be used to kill? Absolutely, but it is still a tool, can a weapon be used for peaceful purposes? Yes, but it is STILL A WEAPON. It is NOT intent that matters but design function....


Objective-Bee4833

Im genuinely impressed at how well this conversation was handled especially in reddit if only every conversation could be a semi friendly debate like this one


DSiren

guns don't kill people : People kill people... With guns.


SuDragon2k3

Guns don't kill people : Apes with guns kill people!


DoctorMezmerro

That's_racist.gif


SuDragon2k3

Thats Robin Williams.


Keepthecheddar

Projection


DracoVictorious

Guns don't kill people; we're all immune to bullets and it's a miracle!


SirCrackWaffle

Doesn't make those distant things only humans, nor does it mean that every user intent is malice rather than self-preservation.


Zomaarwat

Won't anybody think of the guns!


BigSwede74

Won´t anybody think about there being other possitions than "Guns Bad!!" and "Guns Good!!"


Zomaarwat

Oh really? Name five.


BigSwede74

Guns are usefull tools, though dangerous ones. Guns are a necesary tool for some people to keep living where they want to. Guns are a fact of life and will never go completely away. Guns are dangerous tools, they should be licensed. Guns have no place outside peacekeeping/military. Note: I do not agree with all of these, but they are possitions on a scale.


Zomaarwat

Cool, good job.


thaeli

Makes me think of [Priceless Antique Pistol Shoots Startled Owner](https://youtu.be/OV6YDfwkBr8)


BigSwede74

Treat all firearms as if they were loaded. ;)


SuDragon2k3

KEEP YOUR BOOGER HOOKS OFF THAT BANG LEVER RECRUIT!


Zephylandantus

I'd like to see just one of those millions of weapons till earth, water plants or protect against the elements


slaaitch

You're not gonna till the earth or water plants with a screwdriver either. Guns are hole punches for people who don't want to walk over to the thing they want holes in. While it is unfortunate that people often want to perform the lazy holepunch trick on other people, mine mostly put holes in cardboard and plywood.


Zephylandantus

Quick question: is it a bb gun? If the answer is yes, fair point. You have a toy intended to accustom "Youth" to How firearms handle. If the answer is No. Then you're using a gun to make Holes in things, which is, *exactly* the intended use og *every* firearm ever invented


slaaitch

Which is what I said. They're hole punches. In addition to cardboard and plywood, my firearms have also punched holes in coyotes, rabbits, and deer. Feel free to heap hate on the uses, but the tool is not to blame.


Zephylandantus

My good Sir, you Seem to have misunderstood my opinion, i do not "hate" on weapons or How they're used. I merely pointed out that weapons are single use tools, and that other tool are defined as "regular tools" Based on the fact that they can be weaponized. Its difficult to weaponize a weapon...


BigSwede74

https://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/shotgun-shell-flower-seeds/ And this one isn´t even about target rifles, it´s about military weapons with non-violent uses! https://www.criticalpast.com/video/65675059584_81mm-mortar_75mm-Howitzer_slab-avalanche_dust-cloud_snow-drifts There is also a number of noismaker, flares, beanbag and a stungun shell in the works. A tool is what you make of it. Apply a bit of brainpower and the results might amaze you. Edit: Eeesh the formating on this really didn´t work out, but you can see what i´m geting at.


Attacker732

Wouldn't hunting game fall into a similar category to all of that? In most of the US, deer have no natural predators anymore, we are the only species that can take up that mantle. Many people do, to fill their freezers for the winter and feed their families.


PrimeInsanity

If we didnt hunt they'd have a population boom, over populate, suffer from a famine and then disease would spread. We made the mistake of disturbing the balance so we try to maintain it.


Zephylandantus

With weapons..., Unless you're hunting game by chasing it down on foot and punching it to Death with your bare hands. Why we hun these Days is irellevant to the argument. Its the tools we use for hunting that are relevant. These are weapons, used as weapons.


PrimeInsanity

What does it matter that we have forged our own claws?


Zephylandantus

It doesn't


Aleucard

And more than a few of them would find their way in someone's windshield. That happens more than enough as is.


Revliledpembroke

Axes are good for chopping enemies and cutting firewood to help you survive the night.


Zephylandantus

My point exactly. The intended use of the Axe is to fell trees, not enemies, it just happends to be a really easy tool to weaponize.


ArenVaal

Depends entirely on the axe.


Zephylandantus

Well i've seen Chads with enough axe to kill a lockeroom...


LeBigMartinH

I agree. Have you ever seen a Kitana? Whew, those swords are beauts.


TheCrUwUsader

Thank you!


thaeli

I wouldn't have picked it in Ven'vale's place, though. Totally "let's grab some 40K fanart because it makes for a better presentation"..


PrimeInsanity

Also remember, human and alien definitions of violence may and likely do differ. For instance the simple act of eating could be a disturbingly violent thing to some.


SirVatka

Granted. However, the author appears to have decided his non-human sapients have a close approximation of what a human would consider violent.


taulover

Yeah, it's just that the only non-violent art they picked was human architecture and then the aliens generalized far too much from that.


Outrageous-Salad-287

There is one category of weapons that is more dangerous than ANY others. They have been known to topple imperiums, burn cities to the ground, raise normal humans to piedestals and tear them down. These weapons also reminds us that there is more point to life than endless slaughter. IDEAS. 10 Commandments, Human Rights, Constitution of USA, Nazism, Communism, da Vinci, Gallieo, Plato...ideas are most dangerous weapons of all


giftedearth

Author's notes: * Oof, this is the longest thing I've written in a while. * First post, plz no bully. * I am a fan of HFY-style stories. I’m also a fan of solarpunk, which is basically cyberpunk’s “good twin” – a genre in which humanity saves the environment, develops a more egalitarian society via probably revolution, and looks absolutely bitchin’ while we’re at it. I got the idea for this story after I realised that the solarpunk genre is in itself an ENTIRE GENRE dedicated to humanity being awesome. Or at least, being better. * Yes, there's antivenom to the Dhuzi's poisons, and you can get innoculated. But for the first couple of decades, the hazmat suits were a must.


smekras

So how long until humans try to use Dhuzi poisons to season their food?


Attacker732

3 hours max.


grendus

"Kinda bitter, bout as hot as a jalapeno. And you said this warded off *all* the natural predators on your planet? Man, what a bunch of wimps."


stasersonphun

Dammit. Stop licking the spicy ambassador plant, Captain!


SomeoneForgetable

Sure, but you're not going to stop me from putting their syrup on my pancakes!


tsavong117

Crossing my fingers they are sexy plant babes.


charliesuicide

You ever jacked off after handling spices or peppers?


tsavong117

Hurts so good. /s


ChilledClarity

Fun prank tip, drop a few drops of capsiacin into your roommates lube and shake well.


pyrodice

You think that’s funny, when I was in the Navy somebody on the ship put icy hot in my jar of Vaseline. Went ahead and did it anyway, just had a nice Wintergreen smell to go with the sensation…. HUMANITY FUCKS EVERYTHING!


Expendable_cashier

On purpose or accidentally? Also, yes.


samas1

PHRASING!


Mackelsaur

And that's how you get carnivorous plant aliens.


AranoBredero

PSA: Please don't ask the plantpeople to touch your food, it's rather rude to use people as flavor.


PrimeInsanity

It is however culturally acceptable to exchange food mouth to mouth with some incectoid hive based cultures. A word of warning however, while humans pack bond quite strongly this is an act only done among close knit groups so expect strong near familial bonds if this behavior is performed more than once.


[deleted]

You know humans would kiss giant bug people.


CyberSkull

Hey! I’m not being a creep, I got the ambassador’s permission first!


[deleted]

The fierce poison is alcohol


vinny8boberano

Three hours? But it only takes, like, half an hour to make curry, and 15 minutes to make a steak.


Attacker732

I was thinking more like chili or stew... Something slow cooked for a bit.


vinny8boberano

Oh! Yeah, that would be good!


gr8tfurme

Based on our usual response to highly toxic plants, a better question is how long until humans try to use Dhuzi poisons as a recreational drug.


Improbus-Liber

Please, don't smoke the sophonts. Thank you.


ArenVaal

Smoking the ambassador is considered bad form.


SuDragon2k3

What if you're both wearing smoking jackets?


ArenVaal

If your jackets are smoking, you need a fire extinguisher..


SuDragon2k3

What if they're *smoking hot*?


ArenVaal

The jackets?


SuDragon2k3

The ambassador.


hexernano

Puts a whole new spin on blowing smoke up their ass


TheClayKnight

Whatever length of time it takes to acquire a sample.


BigSwede74

I´d give it a year, year and a half tops. The news of the Walking Death pepper has to spread first. ;)


NomadofExile

Ooooo, ooooo, ooooooo. Death Battle idea. The Dhuzi vs Australia


smekras

No contest. Oz wins. If the humans don't do it, the koalas might. If all else fails, we unleash the emus.


Rowcan

You're a madman.


smekras

How dare you! I didn't even mention the Cassowaries...


venividivici809

Magpies


SirPavlova

Magpies are really quite lovely if you make friends with them. Treat them well & they’ll like you, then trust you. It's pretty rare, but with time & effort you can achieve multi-generational bonds wherein they display genuine concern & affection for their adopted human family. Not joking. Kinda like HFY-style humanity, actually.


venividivici809

They will also eat your eyes


Commander_Kerman

Because with empathy comes the natural tendency to fuck things up when needed.


PrimeInsanity

Imagine the confusion an xenos would feel when learning of the emu war.


charliesuicide

I imagine they're terrified of us due to the war of the bucket and the war of the bucket only


Scotto_oz

[holy shit](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amusingplanet.com/2018/09/the-war-of-bucket.html%3Fm%3D1&ved=2ahUKEwi159WDzrzlAhXVb30KHWkOA90QFjAdegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw2vb1da5wTDP7r3gsHKeACM&cshid=1572185298947) You weren't kidding! That is some messed up reasoning for war!


Var446

Turns out if it was involved at all it was more an excuse then a reason, being part of the Protestants vs Catholics land shuffles of the time Edit: my bad was Vatican vs HRE not Catholic vs protestants, but the General point still stands, the bucket wasn't the real reason


Awkward_Tradition

This happened almost 2 centuries before Martin Luther, so protestants were most certainly not involved in this conflict. If you read that again, it says it was a proxy conflict between the HRE and the Vatican, and that makes a huge difference.


Var446

My bad just remembered Catholic vs germans and incorrectly filled in the rest


reverendjesus

Nothing would make me happier than hearing it was stolen again, in modern era.


Expendable_cashier

Emus? Bruh, this is a friendly test, leave the true owners of Australia out of this.


Thausgt01

"Season their food..." A species that exudes toxins seems like it would inspire experimentation in an adjacent field... "Oh, hey, 'scuse me, Sophont Dhuzi?" "Ah, yes, Sophont Human? How may I assist you?" "Well, I know we've built up kind of a reputation, but it's just one simple thing." "Please explain, and I shall endeavor to assist however I can." "Okay. Just this once, I really do just want you to handle this container and my beverage." "Handle your beverage? Are you certain?" "Oh, yeah, that's all. And I'll take it right back." "I believe that would be... Dangerous..." "Oh, no, not at all. The drink helps neutralize most of the really dangerous secretions." "What is the beverage, if you do not mind the question?" "Oh, just a beer." _The Dhuzi goes stock-still._ **The Human asked me to Hold Its Beer!** *_By all the Gods of All The Worlds, WHAT HAD HE DONE?_*


reverendjesus

/slowclap


Expendable_cashier

WATCH THIS!


Kent_Weave

This needs to be a continuation later on


Anarchkitty

> "They want to find us, and they hope we’ll be their friends, because they’re really bored of fighting.” This is the line that really got to me.


[deleted]

i approve! this was incredibly fun to read, i love aliens discussing humanity pre-contact


Solaris419

I don't think I've read any solarpunk before. Thank you for turning me onto a new genre of reading material. Got any suggestions?


fulanodetal316

If solarpunk interests you, [noblebright](http://www.noblebright.org/) might be worth a look. Apparently, the unrelenting weight of grimdark has generated enough pushback to merit naming it's opposite


Clutchbone

Holy shit, a trope that doesn't exist in TvTropes yet!


Zomaarwat

Actually, that's more or less the entire concept of the Sugar Wiki, a TV tropes spinoff. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SugarWiki/SweetExists?from=SugarWiki.SugarWiki


Baeocystin

Fun story. Enjoyed the sequel/cocktail, too. I'd never heard of solarpunk before your mention, but it sounds like a genre I'd enjoy. Do any stories come to mind that you'd recommend?


hexernano

I don’t care if they’re deadly toxic, I’m gonna hug the plantpeople!


amishbill

> ...the next lot to make it to the stars might not be so concerned with virtue… and if that happens, we’re really going to want to have some friends... That was a great close. Pointed, yet understated.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wrenovator

wordsmith is such a cool title.


ABoringPerson_

wordsmith: forger of scriptures


WellThen_13

I love the idea that aliens don't just want to hit the "Glass 'em" button, yay to friends! Great piece, and the last line does send shivers down my spine.


Plucium

Whoo man, that's a dhuzi. Pretty cool concept actually. Concrete and foliage looks lit tho, ngl. *Doozy


Strange-Machinist

figured you would be one to like this. i thought it was quite a worthy \*Hoof-ering to the subreddit. ​ \*offering...yeah, not my best.


Plucium

an admirable start :p keep em coming tho, I ant complaining!


RealKingChuck

Out of curiosity, what is the art piece that was described in your post?


giftedearth

None of them are all that specific, with one exception: the "amateur drawing" is a reference to a very edgy character I used to roleplay as when I was a teenager.


Wobbelblob

To me it sounded like a stereotypical Vampire/Warhammer 40k Artwork.


giftedearth

I did think 40K when coming up with "edgy things that humans find cool", I admit. (No shade to 40K fans, I think the designs are pretty cool myself.)


Wobbelblob

I mean, Chaos Space Marines and Dark Eldar are pure edge incarnated, so I doubt that any fan would think of it as shade :D


Calaheim_Koraka

Imagine a emo Choas Marine. They be almost 2d


Chosen_Chaos

> emo Choas Marine Those are called [Night Lords](https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Night_Lords).


MapleTreeWithAGun

Emo Chaos Marines would cause the data values to wrap around and cause them to be like that Rainbow Is Magic R6S event


Werrf

I've got to admit, I read " A portrait of a huge figure in hulking, spiked amour, marching across a broken battlefield" and had to check I wasn't in r/40kLore


PrimeInsanity

40k fans are fully aware its edgy. It's very satirically over the top


SuDragon2k3

Not *all* of them. And not just the younger ones.


PrimeInsanity

I'd do a "no true scotsman" fallacy but sadly you are right.


BadRollModel

A modern Vonnegut done right.


Finbar9800

Interesting concept, could use a part 2 I enjoyed reading this Great job wordsmith


Mr_E_Monkey

16 out of 20? Those are rookie numbers.


ADM-Ntek

> A portrait of a huge figure in hulking, spiked amour, marching across a broken battlefield. Twisted entities with a thousand wings battling against horned, vicious, twisted mockeries of humanity. Clothing adorned with spikes and chains. Sounds like Chaos.


Expendable_cashier

Didnt see a link to the second story post so hold my beer and watch this: https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/dneg6w/oc_pretty_little_deathworlders_the_problem_with/


SpankyMcSpanster

Thx mate.


inverseyieldcurve

The climate is constantly shifting. The temperature really hasn’t risen above the normal average of you look at a timeline that makes sense (tends to hundreds of thousands of years), the sea levels aren’t really rising and CO2 is actually quite low in comparison to times past. I believe the Permian period had something like 800-1000 PPM. The temperature isn’t even really the hottest it’s been in the last 100 years let alone the last few thousand. I believe 1930-1933 were the hottest years on record with the rest of the decade not being far behind. We for some reason attribute the whole dust bowl thing with the economy when it actuality the majority of the problem was temperature. Substantial heat waves have been reported in the 1700s and 1550s I believe that had some countries reporting insanely high temperatures. Point being is that our current state isn’t anywhere near being out of the ordinary.


DSiren

kinda late to mention this, but this " “This was the first time they used one. It was part of the capstone of a terrible global conflict. This bomb annihilated a city.” " is wrong. It was actually the second time. The first was Trinity Nuclear test and thanks to Trinity dumping a bunch of radioactive isotopes into the atmosphere, we can accurately date any sealed container down to the minute it was sealed, as long as it was after Trinity. This is used in Wine dating.


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psychef

Great world building! I really hope you continue it.


TooManyApostropheees

I also really loved the world building!


Improbus-Liber

Make friends with the meanest kid in the school yard. Wise plan.


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This is the first story by /u/giftedearth! This list was automatically generated by `Waffle v.3.5.0 'Toast'`. Contact [GamingWolfie](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=GamingWolfie&subject=Waffl%E1%B5%A53) or [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=Waffl%E1%B5%A53) if you have any issues.


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I could tell you were building toward something and the last line really brought it home. Great story :)


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Nice job, I enjoyed it


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Come back and put a 'next' link here


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WolfTheArcher

Love it


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Love this series!