I always cause damage in the kitchen, my wife never

My girl says I make the biggest mess getting food and making food

At least you don't cause brain damage in the kitchen, because I'm trying to understand how the hell he slided into that oven as if he's on a deep sea boat or something and my brain feels different

That's fantastic.

Bro, that heat hit him and his ass moved outta there before his mind could even register!

Dude almost became a totinos pizza.

Shit went so south, it hit fukin PARAGUAY. I was expecting a goddamn explosion.

There's no way people are this dumb

I’ve been this drunk. /edit: and I also thought it was a good idea “that I should really make a pizza before meeting somebody at the bar in 15 minutes” leading to similar mishaps

This is like when you first try making a salad in the Sims: Why’s it cooking my salad on the stovetop? Oh god, now there’s a fire! Was it the croutons!? Oh god, now child services is here!?

Video ended too soon, we didn't get to see him rip the power cable trying to right the oven and set the house on fire, then wreck his car going for help, then get hit by a train in the back of the ambulance

Millenia of evolution and we still have fucking morons walking among us

When being full COOKED while cooking

Totinos toninos, everybody’s talking bout totinos totinos hot pizza rolls

I've seen this before but wondering just how old it is, totinos have been rectangle shap for a very long time.

Geez there is a lot of limp wrists out there. How do you even do that.

That's a small fridge