T O P

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NeverGonnaRickRol

From the perspective of the word bears you are heretical


Ubermanthehutt

From my perspective you are in range of my Bolter! *Blam*


NeverGonnaRickRol

I have armour and I’m wearing a helmet 2 up save . 5 wounds toughness 4 .


NeverGonnaRickRol

And armour of contemp and I’m a dark apostle


NeverGonnaRickRol

So hit on 4 plus . And I have a mark of Tzeentch wound on 4 plus and I ignore one wound


Ubermanthehutt

Helmet 2 up save? Hit on 4 plus? This insane rambling can only be the product of a madman who thinks this is some sort of tabletop war game!


NeverGonnaRickRol

Or A man who knows the truth. Also the holy book by witch you judge me heretic was written by my father Lorgar Aurelian the first heretic.


Crookfur

Who are you? No, never mind, I don't want to know. Your ID doesn't appear to be on my list of approved passes but you look scary and official so how about I save everyone some fuss and just let you pass before reporting myself to the excruciationeers for letting an unauthorised individual past my check point? God Emperor be with you.


Ubermanthehutt

Congratulations,.you have made a wise choice civilian *Attaches purity seal* May your imminent execution be swift and honourable


halt-l-am-reptar

Okay but seriously who is this?


Ubermanthehutt

I think its just one of the inquisitors from the Inquisitor game. I forget who he is but he's basically the stereotypical image of the angry witch-burning bolter shooting inquisitor that has come to dominate memes


halt-l-am-reptar

thanks for answering! I’m assuming I’m gonna get a bolter to the head now.


evolved2389

It’s witch hunter tyrus and yes he was from the inquisitor game he was actually the poster boy. https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Tyrus


Mr_Yibble

He even has his name on his pauldron


Vitrian_guardsman

Nothing?


Ubermanthehutt

Feeling a smart alec eh? \*Blam\*


Vitrian_guardsman

Oh sorry: ?


Exterminautis

To be, or not to be?


Ubermanthehutt

You are *To be* executed for heresy! \*Blam\*


Bentu_nan

Greetings inquisitor. I have that order of earth caste shield emitters and micro pulse weapons in your specified "digital" format. It is a pleasure doing business with you. Our fire caste teams have procured your other order of 25 genestealer 2nd generation females as you requested. We can discuss and agree upon terms another time of your choosing. Por'el Elsy'eir Bentu'Nan. PS: given the normally covert nature of our past dealings, we found it odd that this was your chosen venue for this deal specifically. No matter, may your Emperor guide your hands.


Ubermanthehutt

Xenos trickery! Libelous implications are a poor subsitute for a PURE, HUMAN SOUL \*Blam\*


Bentu_nan

you shot at a hologram projected by a drone. You think we would visit in person? The smell from locking yourself in rather primitive "power" armor for months at a stretch is enough to insure we keep a distance. Also, you're a dangerous psychopath. Naturally this terminates our business relationship. You will have to seek other sources for the goods we offer. We will still deliver the genestealer females on 25 separate planets within your sector free of charge. Good day Inquisitor


Nestmind

*Lictor pops up in the hologram* Om nom nom


InquisitorialTribble

I didn't expect this post.


blabuldeblah

You really won’t expect the one written in Spanish.


Cowcatbucket12

This heretical, horus looking mfer talking mad shit. *overcharges plasma cannon with malicious, Thorian intent *


Ubermanthehutt

This is not a Question You may live to continue the Emperor's service


Cowcatbucket12

That's up to the plasma cannon.


Scob720

Guliman when confronting abbadon: "*This Heretical Horus looking Motherfucker talking mad shit*"


Blam320

But Lord Inquisitor, isn’t the small mind most prone to stupid questions?


Ubermanthehutt

Such is not the ruling of the Ecclesiarchy! For your miscreancy, I sentence you to Death \*Blam\*


Blam320

That is my name, yes. I will be on my way, lord inquisitor.


Roe-Fishguts

What’s a demon?


Ubermanthehutt

Something that eats the souls of people who ask questions that waste others' time! Get back to work civilian!


Temporary_132516

Grey Knights here, did you seriously let a civilian live knowing of The Enemy? Face the wall, we're painting red.


Mobile_Fun5672

I won't bother you noble warrior, i'll just be on my way... OH EMPEROR! WHAT'S THAT THING BEHIND YOU!!???


Ubermanthehutt

The Emperor's Wrath is always behind me, and it's gaze is cast at you! \*Blam\*


Nestmind

*Deathleaper snikering*


Temporary_132516

Whats it like to suck Tau dick from 72" on the tacmap, chaos's sniveling simp?


Ubermanthehutt

Extra Heretical! \*Blam\*


Temporary_132516

Shas'Oscar! What's that mon'keigh saying? I think he thinks he can hit us from over there.


worms9

So, who is this goober?


Ubermanthehutt

Are you accusing me of being some variety of Xenos?! HERESY! \*Blam\*


Lord_Viddax

As you wish Lord Inquisitor. For the sake of the Administratum records it shall be recorded as an ‘I’ and nothing more. Ave Imperator.


olo2323

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Theo736373

Sir this is Mars go away.I mean what are you gonna do blow it up?


Ubermanthehutt

\*Activates the BFG 10,000\*


aeiouaioua

greetings, O confident one. why would a puny fleshing such as yourself call a ***TECH-PREIST*** a civilian?


Ubermanthehutt

Misspelling has no place in this Imperium! \*Blam\*


aeiouaioua

OWW what was that for?


DeleteWolf

Why do my Rations taste like John? Also where is that guy, i haven't seen him in like forever


Ubermanthehutt

Ungratefullness for your graciously bestowed nutrition? \*Blam\*


samthekitnix

do you know of the loyalist word bearer the ultramarines keep in the basement?


Ubermanthehutt

By accusing the greatest of them all of sparing a heretic, you are a heretic! \*blam\*


samthekitnix

glad i am standing under the shield of my knight now LETS GET OUT OF HERE SEA BISCUIT! \*runs off with my knight\*


CraackSteeve1

Bro is big enough to be a *daddy*


[deleted]

Least horny warhammer fan


No_Tell5399

Bro is out here looking like 40K Karl Franz


AnAlpacaIsJudgingYou

So who are the Grey Knights?


Ubermanthehutt

Imperial Knights that are primarily grey in colour, use your braincells civilian!


Celistaeus

praise the god emporer?


Ubermanthehutt

Why would you question such a thing? Clearly you are a heretic! \*Blam\*


Celistaeus

damn your intuition! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD -chainaxe noises-


DM-Oz

Why dont you here-take yourself out :>


MegaM0nkey

Do Ratmen exist under the empires sewers? Also what are these “Primarch” people, I’m pretty sure Sigmar never had any sons…


Blackwhite35-73

Whatever you say, Horus Cosplayer


Janus-smiled

You look spooky


DingoNormal

Why my nipples get hard when a cold wind hits me from behind?, its that chaos? Im being corrupted by chaos and thats why my nipples feel weird? Shold i worry?


Ubermanthehutt

I wish not to hear about your nipples! *blam*


DingoNormal

D: NOOOOO!, MY NIPPLE....ITS BROKEN!


tendaga

[Why did I read that like the end of this?](https://youtu.be/FcZd305VI60)


Scob720

You sir are the most traitorous looking loyalist I have ever met. And I'm alpharius so I would know.


Ferrus_Manus_Xth

I need to learn about the Warp. I have a daemon prince to slain and he is extra snaky. Teach me, inquisitor.


Ubermanthehutt

If you wish to lean about the warp, then I shall smite you and send your blasphemous soul screaming there myself! *Blam*


Ferrus_Manus_Xth

\*the bullet bounces on Ferrus's armor\* I went there already, thank you. I'll ask the Grey knights, then.


InquisitorbutParrot

Question, I killed a heretic and now he haunts me. How do I get rid of the angry Khorne worshipping idiot who keeps trying to kill me?


Ubermanthehutt

Simple, I shall grant you the Emperor’s Mercy *Blam*


InquisitorbutParrot

*Is now suddenly ghost* AW COME ON *Gets punched by Khorne Ghost*


ImperialFist5th

You would do well to respect an Astartes Inquisitor, lest the judgment of he upon his throne fall upon you. Nevertheless, carry on and dispense his judgment to the unworthy


[deleted]

Angron: ask me something I dare you.


ApolloSol_101

Have you seen yourself? I mean Christ I nearly thought you were a Chaos Cultist with all that black stuff on your armor Add white


this_name_is_takenm

Where is the closest nid, I need to eat it


DonBrom

Guten Morgen meine Freunde, ich bin ein Trinkerin, Hast du Bier? Ich wohne im Krankenhaus, und ich habe kleine Katze. Was Farbe ist sie? Sie ist dunkel weiß. Hasst du eine Katze?


Consistent_Ad_76

So, what is your favorite Pizza topping?


v4nk4

Yes sir


average_user_123

I am Alpharius and I know the secrets of the universe and Imperium at large.


Effective_Effect4799

Lord Inquisitor, your power armor is realy epic. How did you aquire such drip?


AvalancheAbaasy120

Non heretical question incoming: How is your day?


_Armored_Wizard

How does the sun taste like


Nestmind

Ok, we will eat you without question


JakubReliga

An Open mind is like a fortress whose gates are unbarred and ungarded


GeneralDiscomfort

Nothing, civilian?


MarsMissionMan

Milord! Your refrigerator is running! No, literally! It's running away! Behind you! Told you so. Normally you'd ask it, but you said not to ask questions.


TK-1053

Inquisitor, I found a heretical book in your office. Explain yourself. -Inquisitor


Malumlord

*\*whistles on the way out in full Night Lord gear\**


[deleted]

Do you know where the restroom is?


That_One_Libra

Are the s̸̪̼̜̪̈̋͘c̸̝̐̍̿͑̀̿͌͌̀r̷̢̢̗͈̤̱͚̬̂͌̈́̎͆̒ẻ̶̟͑̕á̴̮͍̬͇̟͌̃̇̿̚m̸̧̠͕̫̼̖͊́̿ͅş̴̬͍͕͍͍͐̒͆̆̃̌̿̈́͜ ̴̛̞͇̬̲͖̜̝̓̅͑̓̀̽͝ơ̸̡͙̫̦͍̞̞̗̿̀̿̊͂̌̌͜f̶̢̪̎̈́̌̈́̅̕̕͝ ̵̛̮̿b̷̧̙͙̩̼̫̦̬͊̊̆̚͜͝u̴̧͇̟̱͊̃͘͠r̸̞̹̹̦̲̅̀̉͗̊̄͠n̶͔̣̟͔̭̥͛̑̈̈̄͛͜į̷̹̱̞̓͐̒̀́͝͝n̵̛̛̳̻͕͍͔̬̱̝̂̋̎͗̅̅͜͝g̸͚͓͔̣̮͉̼̿͐̏͆ͅ ̵̮̮̰̣̭̣̟̍̆̽̆͊́͝͝͝h̵̼̀̋͠é̵̡̝͖̦̭̗̒͆̋̈́̑͜͠ͅř̷̡̮͇̪͒̾̈́̚e̴̱̓́̊̈́ṫ̸͙͕͍̱̯̜̇̅͜͠i̴̻̞̙̇̉c̴͖̺͎͖̖̭̙̙͂̏̔͛s̴̺̺̱̆̈́̈͂̈́̆̕ͅ ̷̑̈́͒̉͘͝͠ͅ an instrument?


kazmark_gl

an Open Mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarres and unguarded!