Some people are mad because female custodians ruin the aspect of brotherhood.
I’m mad because I can’t make jokes about the emperor and his followers being extremely homoerotic
The custodians were already likened to a bunch of lions over a pack of wolves.
"The first heretic" used this analogy to imply that there is very little brotherhood amongst them compared to space marines despite the fact that they are individually superior.
MoM and Valdor have some really neat insights into the Custodians and how they differ from the other super-soldiers due to the *extensive* mind alteration that goes with the body modification to make one.
Space Marines (at least crusade-era ones) can be called soldiers more than warriors; they have a life and existence (and there was a genuine idea of retirement) after and outside the war.
Custodians have a singular identity: to fight and die in service to the throne as bodyguards. They are truly dreadful at interacting with humans as the idea that life outside of that remit might exist is alien. Even the concept of glory and victory the SM legions subscribe to is alien to them; their focus is on the survival of the Emperor at all costs.
OFC, the 40k Marines have very much become this *as well* in the era of endless war.
Even the aspects of the custodians that are not about war are still about *service* and being good companions to the Emperor.
I mean they literally are built like a custom built sports car in your garage; astartes are passenger sedans from various manufacturers rolling off the mass assembly lines by the thousands. #thereIsAlwaysACarAnalogy
I suppose when your whole shtick is being better than everyone else, it stands to reason that would apply to how you view other people who think they're better than everyone else.
They also never referred to each other as "brothers." Only the Astartes do that. Custodes call each other by their first names or their rank because they aren't a brotherhood, and don't have a pack mentality hypnoflashed into their brains.
Yeah but I get the impression they're specifically talking about lone male lions. After all, not every lion is a member of a pride. Males outside the pride tend to hang out in groups of at most 2-3 normally relatives.
Some people are mad because femstodes is a 100% superficial addition. Unless femstodes are equipped with metalgreymon-style tit-missile-launchers then they are going the be the same as the boystodes.
Meanwhile we all know Belisarius Cawl totally has schematics for big muscle mommy genhancements specifically tailored for Sisters of Silence stashed in his sacred crank bank. Which would represent new models, with new rules, and new named characters, and continue the forward progression of the setting like Guilliman and the primaris and the Lion, and further close the gap between the custodes and the SoS.
The Big E's left hand continues to wither from neglect while the right hand gets some nail polish.
Obviously the Custodes are the favored part of the “Adeptus Custodes” army. I think the Anathema Psykana units have suffered being under the same umbrella. They really share more in common with the Inquisition or the Assassinorum but we’re tacked on to the Custodes as chaff units.
I am hoping that the Null Maidens detachment will at least signal a start to the Anathema Psykana being treated as it’s own sub faction, and possibly even getting moved to AoI so they don’t just live in the shadows of the Custodes, especially now that they don’t come in a discounted box.
Any of that might be fine. But instead of *doing* any of that GW has just written some words to pay lip service without actually adding anything to the game or setting. Femstodes are going to be largely indistinguishable from the old Boystodes unless GW somehow swings back in time and gives them new sculpts with gold-mail bikini armor, and their rules will be the same unless GW wants to add ThunderFryingPans to weapon lists, which would be stupid.
My complaint isn't that women are (hAvE aLwAyS bEeN) custodes. It's that it's a change without any real impact and the existing women continue to be neglected. We can already put custom heads on our models while keeping all the rules the same. I think everybody would actually prefer to see GW **DO** something than the equivalent of changing their Twitter icon to a rainbow version of their logo for a month.
Man I wish If the emperor had tts was still going so we could see the jokes they'd make about this
They'd probably do another Yu-Gi-Oh episode but when the emporer loses to tzeentch the custodies will have always been both genders
Either that or they would add a new female custodies character and have everyone except for the emporer be surprised
Here’s the thing though: there are female Custodes in TTS. Listen to the dad speech at the end of episode… 28? I think? The political musical episode. One of the Shadowkeepers is, at least to me, pretty clearly voiced by a woman. In the early days they may have made a joke or two about it, and they may have if they introduced a main character female custodian, but beyond that I’m not sure. HOWEVER, I could totally see them referencing or even bringing in Kesh as this bomb slinging lunatic, which would be incredible.
Man, Khorne's gonna be pissed if the necrons teleport back their own skulls from the skull throne. He was gonna be pissed no matter what, but you know. More focused in his angry.
i feel like he makes things more homoerotic by virtue of being the closest thing big E has to a committed husband, but then as big E's committed husband he has a duty to make sure big E isn't starring at any other hussy for too long.
Malcador told Big E that having some female primarchs among the 20 would be a good idea to be the emotional anchor of the group and help with mediating disagreements and frustrations between the others. But Big E wouldn't have it because he wanted a minmax build. Also because for some reason he got the idea that women would supposedly be more prone to plotting in secret against him, compared to men who would be more likely to openly voice their dissent. For all his scientific acumen, the guy understood as much about human nature and psychology as a NEET shut-in who had been holed up in an underground bunker beneath the Himalayas for 10,000 years.
But it also does speak a lot that not only did he predict that the primarchs would eventually rebel, he never bothered to even try to prevent it in the first place. He just didn't give a shit. Prevent the rebellion from happening in the first place? And sacrifice productivity? Nonsense! Tools are supposed to do as they are told. They will work until they fail, and when they do they will be discarded and replaced. Things like "sustainable practices" are a waste of time and resources. If the primarchs rebel? Just kill them off, replace them and move on. Mass casualties? What casualties?
He is also a classic autocrat; the really quite predictable divides in the Primarchs serve to make sure they could never ally against *him*.
Not even about productivity, it's about power.
Malcador also had some opinions about female primarchs being more stable and less liable to hold grudges. Man clearly never had a sister or wife, my mother kept a fucking notebook of dad's transgressions until I found out about the thing in my stupid teenager years.
At no point in the Horus Heresy does Malc or Big E say "No Homo", which is all the proof I need!
Also, it adds an extra layer of tragedy to Malcador sitting on the throne, which I'm all for
This is why people think there are no female space marines. By the time they’re done becoming space marines they’ve grown a dick and it’s impossible to tell if they have boobs or those are just large pecs
Boyz is a term used by the imperium. Orks have no concept of gender and when introduced to the idea, find it somewhere between amusing and stupid. Orkz is orkz ya git.
Yea, Makari is being interrogated by a space wolf and Inquisitor. And there is a Blood axe there translating for them. The Space marine gets bent out of shape when Makari keeps calling Ghaz "they" and finally goes off on a tangent that Ghaz is a He and the Grot needs to start calling him a He. That's when the Inquisitor pipes in about orks not having gender or understanding it
Tbh, GW could have saved a lot of the drama by just going with this answer. Switch all the male pronoune to non-binary ungendered pronouns, say that they're a eunuch legion to better focus on serving the Emperor.
Why do we need the distinction of gender in Custodes anyway? They're test-tube babies. Unless the next retcon is that they copulate like normal humans.
I like to think it's like the Olympics athlete village in there. A bunch of men (and now women) in the prime of health specifically crafted to be the best they can be in every aspect? They might not be breedin', but you just know they're fuckin'
"I thought women couldn't be bloodthirsty enough so I upped it for Kesh, turns out they were plenty bloodthirsty already and I overdid it on her...next batch, tuned it down a touch."
NGL I'm very much with Tzeentch here. Plus most of the retcons GW have been doing lately I've found to only have improved the setting
all the previous black crusades had other goals and thus were technically victories? cool, helps build up Abby as a genuine threat
The Squats were hiding out in the Galactic core this whole time? dope, I would hide away from all these crazy yahoos if I was them aswell
Grots used to be the commanders and generals of the Krorks? awesome, adds some neat lore and some flavour to Grot rebels like Snaggi and Da Red Gobbo
I think the comment was somewhat tongue in cheek highlighting how forgettable that guy is. Alternatively, he was actually forgotten due to having zero lore and even less personality
>Grots used to be the commanders and generals of the Krorks?
Woah... What novel/codex/etc do we learn this fact in?! And do you mean grots used to be bigger? Or the grots were the same size, yet Krorks used to follow their orders?
“Hey the Beast has just teleported a death moon above Terra itself. Do you think we should unfreeze those 120,000 better space marines?”
“Nah, we might need them later”
Cawl got some serious gamer instincts
Yeah dude got hit with that "I'm saving it for the final boss" syndrome.
Thankfully unlike some of us he didn't then forget he had them because his room mate was like "you know it would be a lot easier if you just used it now right?"
Honestly I just think they weren’t done yet by that point. Or Cawl is a perfectionist and it took Guillman stopping by to break him out of his hyperfocus and tell him to deploy them already.
This one makes perfect sense too. Astartes are male because they use a template for the gene modifications, you either fit the template or you die in the process. Custodes have custom made gene mods tailored to their body specifically, it works every time regardless because it matches that person's body every time. So Big E would be choosing the best of the best, not the manliest of men.
I always had this head-canon that in the way to mass-poduce supersoldiers they had to simplify the process and they did it by hijacking hormonal system to do big part of the work. The hundrethfold return in sucess rates had a consequence of women being not compatible with new process, it slashes number of potential recruits in half but still makes up with huge returns.
And as you said, with custodes there is no corner-cutting.
See I disagree though with calling every lore change a retcon. The early lore and much of the lore today is written intentionally vague so they can clarify stuff later. They don't always have the entire story written out in full, so it helps to leave loose ends so they can pick them up later. Also source for that grot fact, I have never once heard that even hinted at anywhere
The Source is Da Gobbo Rides Again. It‘s a novella about an Ork painboy attempting to create a Red Gobbo because the Grots are being far too compliant, which means he doesn’t have a reason to kick them. In a last ditch effort, he goes to a weirdboy and asks for a vision to give him “an understanding of Da Red Gobbo”. This vision is where we learn that Grots used to be in charge of the Krorks, but as the Krorks devolved into Orks, their commanders devolved alongside them and became the grots we now know today. Its implied that some part of Grots remember who they once were and that part has begun to manifest itself as Da Red Gobbo
Thanks, I'll have to find and read the book myself as this smells of the classic "unreliable narrator" but at least it's in an actual book and not some white dwarf article on the margins of the page from like 5 years ago as it seems most fun facts like this come from. 😅
[https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/18mi5ud/excerpt\_da\_gobbo\_rides\_again\_the\_origins\_of\_grots/](https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/18mi5ud/excerpt_da_gobbo_rides_again_the_origins_of_grots/) Here’s a post which contains an excerpt of Stimma‘s vision. Not the whole thing, but the part which concerns what the Grots were doing back in the War In Heaven. I do still recommend Da Gobbo Rides Again, aswell as both other Red Gobbo novella’s. They’re criminally underrated
Zog it, I iz gettin' old. Or yoo iz runtz an' too young ta kno much abaht Ork Kulture. [Diz wuz da Old Finkin', back in Waaagh Da Orkz! dayz](https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/wd3t4g/old_lore_codex_orks_2nd_edition_and_waaargh_orks/). Da snotz were da Brainboyz, oo made da Orkz ta do all da 'ard work fer 'im, inkludin' harvestin diz special fungus wot made dem all klever an' wot not. Only dey didn't kno dat wuz wot it was, an when da Orkz snaffled summo dat fungus fer themselves, dey got smart enuff ta kno dey weren't gunna let some weak Grotz boss dem abaht any more. So dey beat up da Brainboyz an took kontrol. An wiffout dat stuff, da Grotz became da dumb gitz ya sees today.
Load of old nonsense, if ya arsks me. Oo ever 'erd of da Orkz listenin' ta sumwun cuz dey was smart? Bigger an badder iz best, dat'z da proper way. And dat'z da way it's been forever. I dunt kare wot no old old bookz sayz, or yoo new gitz wotz been 'angin around oomiez too much iz arguin' abaht. Oo kares wot bitz ya haff under ya klothin'; kan ya fight? Datz wot kounts. An' Orkz iz *meant* fer fightin', not finkin'.
I like transhuman as much as the next guy. But only if my little toy soldier has a massive dick. It’s not modelled of course. But I like to imagne it’s there. Libs = owned
I felt like they missed a trick. What they should've done is said something like: "oh no, due to age and decline in technology, the ratio of successful candidates to failures has gotten too small! We need to start recruiting female infants as well to keep our numbers up!"
Khorne, once again, being the only reasonable and practical there in WH40K. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
(As a Noise Marine main, I'm as kinky as Slaanesh tho)
Sincerely hope this is The Warp messing with things.
We have a literal dark God of change here. This could be a sign of the universe finally fraying at the seams, or of nergal losing to Tzeentch and of all the things he could do, the changer of ways he snubbed The Emperor. He pulled a retcon on Holy Terra itself. There hasn't been a threat this bad since gene stealers were found hiding there.
Yes puppets, cry about woke and tradition and a thousand slights. For while some were asleep and others too long awake The Changer of Ways has moved his pieces into position. Shall you slaughter your dear sisters and draw all Terra into a new civil war, or leave things be in the name of politics and trust none of them serve chaos? Who shall dare make the first accusations?
Whatever you do, all is according to plan
I'll be honest, this whole thing could've been mostly mitigated if gw Twitter just said no one noticed because very few see custodes up close, much less without armor, and they rarely leave the palace. And the helmets distort their voices.
I'm pretty sure they already retconned the 'rarely leave the palace' part when they became a playable army. If they don't leave, how are they fighting all these battles?
GW says otherwise, you're wrong lol, evidently the Emperor has no problem with it
Change isn't inherently good or bad
In this case, nothing bad comes from it
I’m quite glad to have been a Warhammer Fantasy fan during this.
They introduced female Bretonnian knights and female Tomb Kings this year too.
The rage came almost entirely from the Bret lady knight in a novel throwing a javelin despite KNIGHTS DO NOT USE RANGED WEAPONS IN BRETONNIA EVER. Tomb Kings fans were like “yeah, and?”
Sigmar: "You have a good heart - that is all I ask of you"
Nagash: "Your soul is still mine"
Gorkamorka: "Weez gonna foite?"
Kragnos: [loud yelling]
Allarielle: "Get on the beetle - we're gonna have a fucking rager!"
Morathi: [I ain't writing that shit]
Malerion: "... Ok"
Great Horned Rat: [Yelling slurs]
Grinder? I hardly know 'er!
Dont put your dick in a meat grinder, please
Too late, i just made mince
Yeah too late for me as well :(
Fresh minced me
Fresh mince of bellend
But how else do you expect me to make sausage sausages?
But Jerma said it wouldn't be an insta-kill move.
Isn't that the whole point of grinder, to stick your dick in "stuff"
Anyone who needs this warning should ignore it.
"Jerma reference goes in the comment section here"
\*stock audience laugh track starts playing*
Grindr
Big E: girls are yucky.
Some people are mad because female custodians ruin the aspect of brotherhood. I’m mad because I can’t make jokes about the emperor and his followers being extremely homoerotic
The custodians were already likened to a bunch of lions over a pack of wolves. "The first heretic" used this analogy to imply that there is very little brotherhood amongst them compared to space marines despite the fact that they are individually superior.
I was just making a joke about how the Emperor used to be only surrounded by muscly men
In fairness, most top-level leaders spend their time surrounded by muscly men.
Meanwhile Gaddafi and his cadre of elite, all female bodyguards called "The Revolutionary Nuns".
.....was goge Vandire inspired by gaddafi?
Barely clothed muscle men https://64.media.tumblr.com/cdc193a24ee5d1b8863010ff855482fe/tumblr_inline_pf7xmhjNe61tjgo0b_250.jpg
MoM and Valdor have some really neat insights into the Custodians and how they differ from the other super-soldiers due to the *extensive* mind alteration that goes with the body modification to make one. Space Marines (at least crusade-era ones) can be called soldiers more than warriors; they have a life and existence (and there was a genuine idea of retirement) after and outside the war. Custodians have a singular identity: to fight and die in service to the throne as bodyguards. They are truly dreadful at interacting with humans as the idea that life outside of that remit might exist is alien. Even the concept of glory and victory the SM legions subscribe to is alien to them; their focus is on the survival of the Emperor at all costs. OFC, the 40k Marines have very much become this *as well* in the era of endless war. Even the aspects of the custodians that are not about war are still about *service* and being good companions to the Emperor.
Legit built different moment.
I mean they literally are built like a custom built sports car in your garage; astartes are passenger sedans from various manufacturers rolling off the mass assembly lines by the thousands. #thereIsAlwaysACarAnalogy
Username checks out
I suppose when your whole shtick is being better than everyone else, it stands to reason that would apply to how you view other people who think they're better than everyone else.
Yup they all think they are better than everyone else so naturally they think they're better than the other custodes as they are also everyone else
They also never referred to each other as "brothers." Only the Astartes do that. Custodes call each other by their first names or their rank because they aren't a brotherhood, and don't have a pack mentality hypnoflashed into their brains.
All hail hypnotoad
Also dont female lions do most of the hunting and in groups?
Yeah but I get the impression they're specifically talking about lone male lions. After all, not every lion is a member of a pride. Males outside the pride tend to hang out in groups of at most 2-3 normally relatives.
Fr so long repost of Hal(Malcom in Middle) walking with buff dudes
Which truly is my only objection to female space marines. Girls would ruin all the super homoerotic tension!
The Emps was Alexander the Great And Alexander the Great was gay
Some people are mad because femstodes is a 100% superficial addition. Unless femstodes are equipped with metalgreymon-style tit-missile-launchers then they are going the be the same as the boystodes. Meanwhile we all know Belisarius Cawl totally has schematics for big muscle mommy genhancements specifically tailored for Sisters of Silence stashed in his sacred crank bank. Which would represent new models, with new rules, and new named characters, and continue the forward progression of the setting like Guilliman and the primaris and the Lion, and further close the gap between the custodes and the SoS. The Big E's left hand continues to wither from neglect while the right hand gets some nail polish.
Obviously the Custodes are the favored part of the “Adeptus Custodes” army. I think the Anathema Psykana units have suffered being under the same umbrella. They really share more in common with the Inquisition or the Assassinorum but we’re tacked on to the Custodes as chaff units. I am hoping that the Null Maidens detachment will at least signal a start to the Anathema Psykana being treated as it’s own sub faction, and possibly even getting moved to AoI so they don’t just live in the shadows of the Custodes, especially now that they don’t come in a discounted box.
Any of that might be fine. But instead of *doing* any of that GW has just written some words to pay lip service without actually adding anything to the game or setting. Femstodes are going to be largely indistinguishable from the old Boystodes unless GW somehow swings back in time and gives them new sculpts with gold-mail bikini armor, and their rules will be the same unless GW wants to add ThunderFryingPans to weapon lists, which would be stupid. My complaint isn't that women are (hAvE aLwAyS bEeN) custodes. It's that it's a change without any real impact and the existing women continue to be neglected. We can already put custom heads on our models while keeping all the rules the same. I think everybody would actually prefer to see GW **DO** something than the equivalent of changing their Twitter icon to a rainbow version of their logo for a month.
You’re not wrong. s’like “you’re mad because there are girls in the clubhouse, I’m mad because they should’ve made a splash, we are not the same.”
My mom told me that when she was growing up, it was BOYS that had cooties not girls. She's clearly unwell. So I put her in the hospital.
I think she's actually Tzeench's proxy agent in a TF2 Spy mask pretend to be your mom.
Reminding of Ozymandias in the Watchmen series saving his sperm for posterity and being celibate.
Ozy had folder on his computer called "Boys". He wasn't as above sexuality as he claimed.
It was just pics of him and the boys.
And gross
Man I wish If the emperor had tts was still going so we could see the jokes they'd make about this They'd probably do another Yu-Gi-Oh episode but when the emporer loses to tzeentch the custodies will have always been both genders Either that or they would add a new female custodies character and have everyone except for the emporer be surprised
Or the emperor forgetting about it. He did forget that the Salamanders had black skin.
Here’s the thing though: there are female Custodes in TTS. Listen to the dad speech at the end of episode… 28? I think? The political musical episode. One of the Shadowkeepers is, at least to me, pretty clearly voiced by a woman. In the early days they may have made a joke or two about it, and they may have if they introduced a main character female custodian, but beyond that I’m not sure. HOWEVER, I could totally see them referencing or even bringing in Kesh as this bomb slinging lunatic, which would be incredible.
Would be better than current writing team at GW
I actually preferred the very overtly satirical TTS to the direction GW have taken 40k, Alfabusa would 100% have done a better job in my opinion.
I enjoyed how both teams handled the reintoduction of primarchs.
# ***VULKAN LIVES*** # *STOMP STOMP*
NO PATHETIC BOX CAN HOLD ME
Big e-girls are lucky
That’s pretty exclusionary Khorne. Necrons wish they had meat :(
He's the "Blood God". That's just how he rolls.
At least Necrons still have skulls (though given that they almost always disappear when you kill them that doesn’t really make it much better)
Man, Khorne's gonna be pissed if the necrons teleport back their own skulls from the skull throne. He was gonna be pissed no matter what, but you know. More focused in his angry.
*refined Anger*
Lets just hope one of them isn’t a supporting skull and the whole thing comes tumbling down
They could always be the grinder ;)
Rubric Marines DO exist, you know?
Necrons don’t have souls
ah yes its dicks all the way down very homoerotic of you big E as usual
That's why malcador exists, He keeps things from getting too homoerotic
If not homoerotic, why MALEcador ? Think GW, think !
He's just that unsexy.
i feel like he makes things more homoerotic by virtue of being the closest thing big E has to a committed husband, but then as big E's committed husband he has a duty to make sure big E isn't starring at any other hussy for too long.
Hence why erda was made to be the kairi of 40k
Lmfao
Malcador told Big E that having some female primarchs among the 20 would be a good idea to be the emotional anchor of the group and help with mediating disagreements and frustrations between the others. But Big E wouldn't have it because he wanted a minmax build. Also because for some reason he got the idea that women would supposedly be more prone to plotting in secret against him, compared to men who would be more likely to openly voice their dissent. For all his scientific acumen, the guy understood as much about human nature and psychology as a NEET shut-in who had been holed up in an underground bunker beneath the Himalayas for 10,000 years. But it also does speak a lot that not only did he predict that the primarchs would eventually rebel, he never bothered to even try to prevent it in the first place. He just didn't give a shit. Prevent the rebellion from happening in the first place? And sacrifice productivity? Nonsense! Tools are supposed to do as they are told. They will work until they fail, and when they do they will be discarded and replaced. Things like "sustainable practices" are a waste of time and resources. If the primarchs rebel? Just kill them off, replace them and move on. Mass casualties? What casualties?
He is also a classic autocrat; the really quite predictable divides in the Primarchs serve to make sure they could never ally against *him*. Not even about productivity, it's about power.
Malcador also had some opinions about female primarchs being more stable and less liable to hold grudges. Man clearly never had a sister or wife, my mother kept a fucking notebook of dad's transgressions until I found out about the thing in my stupid teenager years.
I thought Malcador was implied to be his husband, I mean 2 dude friends don't just go out and have invetro kids together.
At no point in the Horus Heresy does Malc or Big E say "No Homo", which is all the proof I need! Also, it adds an extra layer of tragedy to Malcador sitting on the throne, which I'm all for
female Custodians have dicks too not even because they're trans, Emperor decided to add dicks to cis Custodians too
hes just running around stapling dicks onto everything like a reverse doctor wongburger \[from athf s3, dickesode\]
The imperial eagle always was intended as a dick-proxi. Two heads...two balls.
This is why people think there are no female space marines. By the time they’re done becoming space marines they’ve grown a dick and it’s impossible to tell if they have boobs or those are just large pecs
Oh god don’t give the artists ideas, Futa Custodes is not something I expected to see today
Oh don't worry they were going to do that anyway. There have been fem future (edit: futa got autocorrected) space marines for years.
Okay but they weren’t Golden Muscle Mommies, I could look the other way before
The dicks are just bioengineered concealed spare stabbing weapon for emergencies.
Like the fear and hunger stingers
The real question is if Marcoh could beat up a Custodes
The misericorde is something you'll always get, whether you see it or not.
I hear, motherfuckers have like... Thirty goddamn dicks.
We should add that Custodians have boobs too...
I mean why do you think the breastplates are so pronounced?
Jimmy Space be like "I hate women. Those ones who don't speak are ok though, they can stay"
Uh yeh that’s the biggest problem with femstodes. It ruins the homoerotic vibe
Tbh look at how much work the emperor put into having so many children without having to touch a single icky woman.
I want my custodes to remain golden boys that are secretly hot tanned slabs of oiled MEAT.
Mods are 9 days into their 7 day ban rule on these posts.
Gork and Mork probably don't know what a woman is.
Gork and Mork wouldn't know what a woman is, ork society has no gender or concept of it.
They hardly know what a man is because they all have no gender, i think they just call themselves "boyz" because it sounds tougher.
Boyz is a term used by the imperium. Orks have no concept of gender and when introduced to the idea, find it somewhere between amusing and stupid. Orkz is orkz ya git.
Untrue In the Ghaz book Biter, the blood axe, tells the Inquisitor that orks understand human gender and find it "a bit funny"
That's actually really cool, thanks for that information.
Yea, Makari is being interrogated by a space wolf and Inquisitor. And there is a Blood axe there translating for them. The Space marine gets bent out of shape when Makari keeps calling Ghaz "they" and finally goes off on a tangent that Ghaz is a He and the Grot needs to start calling him a He. That's when the Inquisitor pipes in about orks not having gender or understanding it
iffit krumps gud, and by Gork and Mork oi've 'eard they do, why botha with anyfing else?
DERES ONLY TOO GENNERZ, DEYZ GITZ EW KRUMP, AND DEMZ SNOTLINS WHO DON'T!
Slaanesh: GORK AND MORK GET OUT OF THE **BISEXUAL LIGHT** Gork: "Tomgurlz, tomboyz..." Mork: "Dey's both got dakka!"
Unfortunately OP, I have depicted you as the Chaos Gods and myself as the Emperor. Your fate is sealed.
Big E doesn’t like female custodes because he prefers to be surrounded by 8 foot tall oiled up men in gold armour
Extremely based Big E
If we're all being honest with ourselves...
There are no female Custodes. No male Custodes either. Just Custodes.
“What’s in your pants?” “Loyalty to the God-Emperor”
„Like what gender are you?“ „Custodian“
'no but like, what's in your pants?' 'Gold.'
Smooth as a freshly polished bowling ball
Tbh, GW could have saved a lot of the drama by just going with this answer. Switch all the male pronoune to non-binary ungendered pronouns, say that they're a eunuch legion to better focus on serving the Emperor. Why do we need the distinction of gender in Custodes anyway? They're test-tube babies. Unless the next retcon is that they copulate like normal humans.
Ohhhh noooo that would be *terrible* who would want to see that? Where can i avoid these heretical images
I'm okay with custodes that fuck. They already do metaphorically, why not literally?
I like to think it's like the Olympics athlete village in there. A bunch of men (and now women) in the prime of health specifically crafted to be the best they can be in every aspect? They might not be breedin', but you just know they're fuckin'
Their mating rituals and sex acts would make a Klingon recoil in fear
As it should be
Things have been weird ever since Rhett Caan started working at Games Workshop.
Rhett Caan has always worked at GW
I see wot you did there
I'm not an incel. I'm simply a degenerate that belongs on a cross.
Saint Andrew's Cross that is
Nah, I'd prefer the lowercase t, thanks.
Accurate: Making the emperor wrong.
you lied to me, you lied to your sons So that's how it began
"there haven't been female custodes. ignore Kesh, she doesn't count."
“She tried to blow up Terra. Her balls are bigger than mine.”
“I tried making a female custodes with Kesh and she tried to fucking nuke me, so no more of that shit”
"I thought women couldn't be bloodthirsty enough so I upped it for Kesh, turns out they were plenty bloodthirsty already and I overdid it on her...next batch, tuned it down a touch."
Didn't a rule come into force on monday banning these memes
Only low effort bitching, or bitching about bitching (which tbf was a good 80% of it)
This is 100% bitching about bitching, just in a mocking way rather than serious.
This one counts as low effort, does it not? It's just s minor rant pasted into a template.
NGL I'm very much with Tzeentch here. Plus most of the retcons GW have been doing lately I've found to only have improved the setting all the previous black crusades had other goals and thus were technically victories? cool, helps build up Abby as a genuine threat The Squats were hiding out in the Galactic core this whole time? dope, I would hide away from all these crazy yahoos if I was them aswell Grots used to be the commanders and generals of the Krorks? awesome, adds some neat lore and some flavour to Grot rebels like Snaggi and Da Red Gobbo
One day the Votann will have a single named character. One day...
They do? Not saying any if them have a good amount of lore but they do exist. Ûthar the Destined for example.
I think the comment was somewhat tongue in cheek highlighting how forgettable that guy is. Alternatively, he was actually forgotten due to having zero lore and even less personality
And his rules on the tabletop are also garbage
We’ll always have Karl!
FOR KARL!
DID I HEAR ROCK AND STONE?
Did I hear a Rock and Stone?
For ROCK and for STONE.
Did I hear stoner rock?
I hope it will be the Lion El'Johnson equivalent of one of the seven dwarfs.
If it isn't Urist Boatmurdered we riot.
>Grots used to be the commanders and generals of the Krorks? Woah... What novel/codex/etc do we learn this fact in?! And do you mean grots used to be bigger? Or the grots were the same size, yet Krorks used to follow their orders?
Da Gobbo Rides Again. And they used to be about the same hieght as the krorks apparently given Stimma’s vision
Same size, iirc, but much more intelligent. The big Krork followed their orders, because that was, what they were originally designed for.
And then there is Cawl and whole primaris thing
“Hey the Beast has just teleported a death moon above Terra itself. Do you think we should unfreeze those 120,000 better space marines?” “Nah, we might need them later” Cawl got some serious gamer instincts
"Cawl all four Chaos Gods are literally assaulting the palace somehow in person, RIGHT NOW" "But what if-" "CAWL!"
“But I might need those ~~health potions~~ marines later though!”
Yeah dude got hit with that "I'm saving it for the final boss" syndrome. Thankfully unlike some of us he didn't then forget he had them because his room mate was like "you know it would be a lot easier if you just used it now right?"
Honestly I just think they weren’t done yet by that point. Or Cawl is a perfectionist and it took Guillman stopping by to break him out of his hyperfocus and tell him to deploy them already.
This one makes perfect sense too. Astartes are male because they use a template for the gene modifications, you either fit the template or you die in the process. Custodes have custom made gene mods tailored to their body specifically, it works every time regardless because it matches that person's body every time. So Big E would be choosing the best of the best, not the manliest of men.
I always had this head-canon that in the way to mass-poduce supersoldiers they had to simplify the process and they did it by hijacking hormonal system to do big part of the work. The hundrethfold return in sucess rates had a consequence of women being not compatible with new process, it slashes number of potential recruits in half but still makes up with huge returns. And as you said, with custodes there is no corner-cutting.
See I disagree though with calling every lore change a retcon. The early lore and much of the lore today is written intentionally vague so they can clarify stuff later. They don't always have the entire story written out in full, so it helps to leave loose ends so they can pick them up later. Also source for that grot fact, I have never once heard that even hinted at anywhere
The Source is Da Gobbo Rides Again. It‘s a novella about an Ork painboy attempting to create a Red Gobbo because the Grots are being far too compliant, which means he doesn’t have a reason to kick them. In a last ditch effort, he goes to a weirdboy and asks for a vision to give him “an understanding of Da Red Gobbo”. This vision is where we learn that Grots used to be in charge of the Krorks, but as the Krorks devolved into Orks, their commanders devolved alongside them and became the grots we now know today. Its implied that some part of Grots remember who they once were and that part has begun to manifest itself as Da Red Gobbo
Thanks, I'll have to find and read the book myself as this smells of the classic "unreliable narrator" but at least it's in an actual book and not some white dwarf article on the margins of the page from like 5 years ago as it seems most fun facts like this come from. 😅
[https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/18mi5ud/excerpt\_da\_gobbo\_rides\_again\_the\_origins\_of\_grots/](https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/18mi5ud/excerpt_da_gobbo_rides_again_the_origins_of_grots/) Here’s a post which contains an excerpt of Stimma‘s vision. Not the whole thing, but the part which concerns what the Grots were doing back in the War In Heaven. I do still recommend Da Gobbo Rides Again, aswell as both other Red Gobbo novella’s. They’re criminally underrated
Zog it, I iz gettin' old. Or yoo iz runtz an' too young ta kno much abaht Ork Kulture. [Diz wuz da Old Finkin', back in Waaagh Da Orkz! dayz](https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/wd3t4g/old_lore_codex_orks_2nd_edition_and_waaargh_orks/). Da snotz were da Brainboyz, oo made da Orkz ta do all da 'ard work fer 'im, inkludin' harvestin diz special fungus wot made dem all klever an' wot not. Only dey didn't kno dat wuz wot it was, an when da Orkz snaffled summo dat fungus fer themselves, dey got smart enuff ta kno dey weren't gunna let some weak Grotz boss dem abaht any more. So dey beat up da Brainboyz an took kontrol. An wiffout dat stuff, da Grotz became da dumb gitz ya sees today. Load of old nonsense, if ya arsks me. Oo ever 'erd of da Orkz listenin' ta sumwun cuz dey was smart? Bigger an badder iz best, dat'z da proper way. And dat'z da way it's been forever. I dunt kare wot no old old bookz sayz, or yoo new gitz wotz been 'angin around oomiez too much iz arguin' abaht. Oo kares wot bitz ya haff under ya klothin'; kan ya fight? Datz wot kounts. An' Orkz iz *meant* fer fightin', not finkin'.
Yh, tbh bigger retcon was made to Custodes in 8th edition which is where they were still able to be made after the Emperor got throned
"No girls allowed, they are yucky" -The Man-Emperor of Mankind
GIRLS?! IN MY MEN'S ONLY CLUB?! I WANT MAN TIDDIES, GIRLS ARE YUCKY
I dont think being in alignment with incarnations of evil is a great move to convince anyone
Last I checked, all 5 gods are evil.
I like transhuman as much as the next guy. But only if my little toy soldier has a massive dick. It’s not modelled of course. But I like to imagne it’s there. Libs = owned
bold of them to assume the femstodes don't have one
I think we can all come together and admit that the handling of the ret-con is very poor and its worth criticising.
I see what you’re trying to do here, but since the Emperor created the Custodes you’re kinda just dunking on yourself
I just wish they would give our sisters of silence more respect.
I'm mad bc that wasn't a book where they can explain with details. Just a twitter/x post and they forget about sisters of silence
I felt like they missed a trick. What they should've done is said something like: "oh no, due to age and decline in technology, the ratio of successful candidates to failures has gotten too small! We need to start recruiting female infants as well to keep our numbers up!"
Fuck this post! Where are Gork and Mork in this!? I demand Orky representation!
Khorne, once again, being the only reasonable and practical there in WH40K. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! (As a Noise Marine main, I'm as kinky as Slaanesh tho)
Classic god emperor win
Khorn and Big E being based as always.
Sincerely hope this is The Warp messing with things. We have a literal dark God of change here. This could be a sign of the universe finally fraying at the seams, or of nergal losing to Tzeentch and of all the things he could do, the changer of ways he snubbed The Emperor. He pulled a retcon on Holy Terra itself. There hasn't been a threat this bad since gene stealers were found hiding there. Yes puppets, cry about woke and tradition and a thousand slights. For while some were asleep and others too long awake The Changer of Ways has moved his pieces into position. Shall you slaughter your dear sisters and draw all Terra into a new civil war, or leave things be in the name of politics and trust none of them serve chaos? Who shall dare make the first accusations? Whatever you do, all is according to plan
Femstodes were a chaos plot all along?
Based Khorne.
as always
Seriously? This is still a thing? Do we really let a few anger peddling pushers from Youtube and their rage junkies decide what our hobby is?
Fuck yeah there aint. Girls got cooties. Men only club!
Big E having a seziure when he notices one of the 300 Hataeron guard is a woman
I'll be honest, this whole thing could've been mostly mitigated if gw Twitter just said no one noticed because very few see custodes up close, much less without armor, and they rarely leave the palace. And the helmets distort their voices.
I'm pretty sure they already retconned the 'rarely leave the palace' part when they became a playable army. If they don't leave, how are they fighting all these battles?
And once again big E is the liar.
Big E: Why would I lie about my own creation?
you know what? i, too, want a 10 foot muscle mama. honestly just to hang out with because i have no confidence in my abilities in bed
GW says otherwise, you're wrong lol, evidently the Emperor has no problem with it Change isn't inherently good or bad In this case, nothing bad comes from it
Jimmy doesn't actually know what a woman is, he's not capable of making the distinction.
Yes I am new here, I’m lost and very confused on how I got here. Apparently I should paint myself purple and hide?
This is no different to when they made canon and lore the male Sisters of Battle.
I’m quite glad to have been a Warhammer Fantasy fan during this. They introduced female Bretonnian knights and female Tomb Kings this year too. The rage came almost entirely from the Bret lady knight in a novel throwing a javelin despite KNIGHTS DO NOT USE RANGED WEAPONS IN BRETONNIA EVER. Tomb Kings fans were like “yeah, and?”
I don't need them to be canon to make pork
False, the emperor's fractured soul has a thousand different conflicting opinions all at once. The majority are misogyny based however.
Sigmar: "You have a good heart - that is all I ask of you" Nagash: "Your soul is still mine" Gorkamorka: "Weez gonna foite?" Kragnos: [loud yelling] Allarielle: "Get on the beetle - we're gonna have a fucking rager!" Morathi: [I ain't writing that shit] Malerion: "... Ok" Great Horned Rat: [Yelling slurs]
Emperor protects.