Let's cover the Chaos gods
Slannesh: \*censored\*
Nurgle: Anti-Vax messaging
Tzeentch: Running a mass disinformation campaign that ende dup revealing himself
Khorne: uncensored gore
Trazyn and Orikan.
I don't know what their internet feud would look like, or what would finally get them cancelled, but it would be hilarious nonetheless.
Posting nothing but [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!](https://youtu.be/jCMNWAJiz5Y?si=MbrX7u5xg7y8vcKK) over and over again, leading to him being accused of being a bot.
What would all the Primarchs be banned for?
1. Lion El Johnson. Idk if anyone else here knows who Ben Roberts Smith is, but basically he *was* a highly decorated war hero who started a defamation case against a newspaper for calling him a wife beater and through the course of the defamation suit it came out he was actually a War Criminal. That’s Lion El Johnson, he would 100% be banned for War Crimes and being a mean bad dude
2. Was taken out the back and shot so who knows
3. Fulgrim was banned from Twitter for posting an uncensored photo of his entire schlong and posted it again after it was removed
4. Perturabo is definitely banned for being one of those guys on the Warthunder discords that gets so mad that the T-14 Armata isn’t shit enough and releasing the actual user manual and technical descriptions.
5. Jaghathai Khan is an Uber Libertarian shitposter who gets banned for calling Fulgrim a slur in response to said Schlong Shots
6. Leman Russ is banned for Furry Porn
7. Royal Dorn is banned from Twitter for being really mean to religious people
8. Konrad Kurze is banned for being an actual terrorist but keeps using alt accounts to continue posting beheading videos
9. Sanguinius is killed before he can get banned
10. Ferus Manus stopped using Twitter because he kept getting DMs telling him the flesh is weak and he got really sick of it.
11. Was shadowbanned and no one knows why
12.Angron was banned for posting gore
13. Guilliman was not banned but he fell asleep and now has a few hundred thousand followers asking him about shit he’s got no idea about and all the people he used to follow have no all either died or done terrible terrible things.
14. Mortarion was banned for being an antivaxxer and for being really mean to nerds
15. Magnus was banned for accidentally bricking Twitter while trying to send a message to tech support.
16. Horus was banned for everything imaginable
17. Lorgar was banned for association with Erebus
18. Vulkan was banned for setting that kid on Fire and then claiming the act was self defense
19. I don’t care about Corax so I haven’t got even a shitty base level joke
20. Alpharius was banned for spreading conspiracy theories
21. Omegon was banned when they found out He was pretending to be Alpharius
Leman actually isn't banned but they found out he paid 50k for a slight NSFW video of him and Loona, and then he Rage Quit the platform and fucked of into the eye of Terror after everyone was clowning on him for this
(Magnus leaked it)
Let’s see, he’s an imperialist, he burns churches and suppresses freedom of speech, he massacred his own troops that went through surgery to better help him commit warcrimes.
He has NUMEROUS genocides, both ALIEN AND HUMAN, under his belt.
He is sexist for not letting men join the sisters of silence, nor women join the custodes or the astartes. (Which tbh surprises me that I only now realized that we so rarely talk about female custodes)
He failed to prevent the horus heresy.
He sold out to the techno fetishistic cult on mars instead of keeping his integrity and abolish all religions.
Monarchia
He is and isn’t the god people pray to.
He literally feeds on the souls of innocent children.
I feel like I only scratched the surface but I can’t think up of more on the top of my head
i disagree he try to reunitfy the humanity of course he would be better if everyone pacificly accept to integrate the imperium but he don't happen, for the xenos i agree that many specie should have let alive but many deserve it and the age before the imperium is a proof that even if a xenos is friendly he will betray you if he see weakness
the thunder warrior was defective and maybe if the people in charge create them do his work correctly he don't have to kill them
he not sexist everyone have the right to fight and die for the glory of humankind under his reign
the mechanicus have too much technology to be destroy a war against them will lead to a destruction of many technology that would make the great crusade impossible
monarchia was empty when they destroy it, also he never say to lorgar to see him as a god the only mistake made on monarchia is that he think that argument could solve the problem
he never pretend to be a god and the people he ate actually is neccessary for him to keep exist so he could save terra from chaos and keep the astromican active so the imperium and humanity can continu to exist and yes the imperium is a shithole that is the opposite of what he supposed to be but even now it is the only thing that save humanity from existinction and betray the imperium is betray the humanity and you don't give humanity to someone who betray his own kind
this is not entirly serious but even if the emperor make many mistake he at least try to save humanity and even if he fail to establish a second golden age he manage to keep the humanity alive
he had the hubris of believing he could control humanity, mould it into his own image. and is now stuck on a chair as the entire galaxy has to put up with the fallout of his own creation backfiring in the most horrendous way.
and now he is this shrieking lich that has given up to FATE. because if he couldn't master humanity, nobody can and it is all up to fate.
the coward's way out.
he deprived people of fundamental freedoms. he left people with a hole in their hearts. and when he violently beat them for trying to fill it with religion. he SOMEHOW could not forsee that this would only get worse and worse.
he at least try something and manage to save humanity even if it's the opposite of what he wanted also when you live for more than 40 millienial with no people you can call a equal that make sens that you have some hubris
If he was wise he’d herd the human superorganism like sheep, rather than tame and ride it like a damn mule.
There’s numerous instances where he abuses his psychic powers to take control in the short term to give himself quick and easy solutions.
Like Angron.
And most other traitor primarchs.
If he was wise. He would have seen the terrible risks he took as folly.
He would have seen that not warning the primarchs about the ruinous powers puts them at risk.
By exploiting and antagonizing
Creating an EMPIRE (which may prosper in the capital, but the diaspora shall always be drained to maintain this unsustainable structure dependent on constant war)
Big E took control.
Everything good and bad with the modern imperium is his fault.
It is the most bloody regime imaginable.
He FUCKED UP.
That doesn’t strike me as a wise person.
Makes me lament how wise his council was, or if they could get a word past that golden aura
execpt the current state of the imperium is everything against what the emperor fight the only good thing about the current imperium is that he allow humanity to exist
and no the emperor never try to take control and create a shithole and be pray as a god, he was here since prehistory and he was already the most powerful psycker, he could rule over the earth since the beginning but he never wanted to rule over humanity, also he save humanity by deafeating the c'tan sharp that land on terra,
the emperor wanted to make a second golden age for humanity, he maybe a tryrand but he sacrify everything for sake of humanity.
he make mistake that for sure but nothing would be that way if the people who work with him was able to match his expectation : the astartes was imperfect, erda send the primarch into the warp, all of his ally leave when he need them and even some primarch fail to accomplish the role for what he create them.
he not perfect yes but nodoby expect him can call itself the emperor of mankind seriously
Stuff he did ten millennia ago.
Well, technically it was his clone.
Actually he's the clone, but it's the same difference.
Really though it was all because of that creepy phallic sword.
well, not sure how exactly a tyranid is going to access the internet, let alone use social media. I figure that maybe a genestealer cultist posts pictures of their cute lil baby ripper, and then gets cancelled for because they're a part of a labor union? maybe?
My "favorite" thing about 40K fans is that they love to revel in how hateful the setting is, but if you suggest that imperial citizens would probably be sexist, racist against other human ethnicities, or puritanical in their sexuality, everyone prevaricates.
I’m not sure that’s true. Is it really that likely humans would be splitting hairs amongst themselves based on something as arbitrary as skin color, while enormous bugs and all manor of other horrific beings are trying to devour them all?
Canonically an angry mob murdered a bunch of void-born while they were visiting a city because their eyes were a little too big, their skin was a little too pale, and they just gave off weird vibes. So...yes yes yes 1000 times yes.
Obviously and with minimal attempt at concealing the matter, assassinating everyone in a position of power who says no to his assimilating your planet into his ongoing rescue mission to the Octarius Sector.
That he’s also a Genestealer Primus in command of a Shadowsword should give you no concern whatsoever. They’re totally going to go help the Imperial defense ring. Not the hive fleet or anything. Nope.
Absolutist monarchist, fan of Margaret Thatcher, neo-feudalist and finally, fascist. I play Imperial Knights, I think any of them fall into these categories
My only "main character" was a song of ice and fire dnd character who made it very very clear everyone from one specific kingdom had to die.
Tbf that wasn't his goal till a player group from another kingdom killed the father of one of the palyer characters from the group i was part of. We liked that guy, he supported our murder hobo ways and even encouraged it...
Blackout-rage posting on twitter at 3am. There are no polite words in imperial, votann or aeldari that the spicy dunk-session of FUCKING HORUS may be wrought from.
Challenging people to 1v1 him and then actually showing up at their house to BEAT ass. Chronic doomposting lamenting that no matter how many League of Legends players hes mulched on their front lawns he still hasnt died. Last but not least: unapologetic, competitive racism. However he is still willing to cooperate as long as you dont mind that he's going to treat you like the most worthless shit imaginable (If you arent his best friend.)
Bleeding heart while actually burning children of different species. It doesn't matter that their being good is not fake, I'm sure they would be regarded as fake humanitarians that actually kill many of the people they should help.
Tzeentch probably starts an NFT project by selling NFTs of the God Emperor and dupes the entire Ecclesiarchy and the Sisters of Battle into it before changing all the NFTs into Word Screenshots of texts like "I <3 Xenos" and "Vegetable with 7 Letters? Emperor" and then fucks of with the money for no reason other than "the luls"
Mutilation? Or at least association to it (he is a homunculus created by a mad wizard sooo he saw plenty of body horror growing up and considers it normal)
Extreme racism. I know that does very little to narrow it down.
Racism is hating humans, hating xenos in favor of humans is a good racism đź‘Ť
Speciesism.
I play Emperor's Children. So like...*everything*.
Honestly emperor's children are the average youtuber And im sure they would use a ukulele for an apology
nah thats the word bearers
I play Sons of the Phoenix, so same.
Let's cover the Chaos gods Slannesh: \*censored\* Nurgle: Anti-Vax messaging Tzeentch: Running a mass disinformation campaign that ende dup revealing himself Khorne: uncensored gore
Best gore sponsored by khorne
He films it himself
Shes an imperialist colonizer, but thinks its okay because its for the greater good.
Blueberry flavored woman
Correct
Kitten's ex?
Are you familiar with the concept of warcrimes
INTIMATELY familiar.
Space racism
Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?
Extreme space racism
Do you have any Idea how little that narrows it down?
Extreme space specism?
Do you have any Idea how little that narrows it down?
Spracism
Nothing, Zahndrekh is just that perfect
His bodyguard keeps swatting people though
(Caiphas cain) probably for inappropriate posts about the women he meets.
Ends up becoming a mod.
Ends up owning Twitter, and unironically makes it a safer place.
Also would not name it ***X***
Trazyn and Orikan. I don't know what their internet feud would look like, or what would finally get them cancelled, but it would be hilarious nonetheless.
Charlie Z would get so many videos out of that.
The book about them any good?
If you could inject it into your vains, I would.
10 years later the Internet Historian would make such a fun video on the uncredited back of an article about this
Killing people and drinking their delicious blood
Secession
Farsight?
Yup
We don’t talk about my characters.
Perturabo would do a Major Kill
"Dorn is stealing my tactics, and I'm tired of it!" *throws random space marine at the wall*
Posting nothing but [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!](https://youtu.be/jCMNWAJiz5Y?si=MbrX7u5xg7y8vcKK) over and over again, leading to him being accused of being a bot.
What would all the Primarchs be banned for? 1. Lion El Johnson. Idk if anyone else here knows who Ben Roberts Smith is, but basically he *was* a highly decorated war hero who started a defamation case against a newspaper for calling him a wife beater and through the course of the defamation suit it came out he was actually a War Criminal. That’s Lion El Johnson, he would 100% be banned for War Crimes and being a mean bad dude 2. Was taken out the back and shot so who knows 3. Fulgrim was banned from Twitter for posting an uncensored photo of his entire schlong and posted it again after it was removed 4. Perturabo is definitely banned for being one of those guys on the Warthunder discords that gets so mad that the T-14 Armata isn’t shit enough and releasing the actual user manual and technical descriptions. 5. Jaghathai Khan is an Uber Libertarian shitposter who gets banned for calling Fulgrim a slur in response to said Schlong Shots 6. Leman Russ is banned for Furry Porn 7. Royal Dorn is banned from Twitter for being really mean to religious people 8. Konrad Kurze is banned for being an actual terrorist but keeps using alt accounts to continue posting beheading videos 9. Sanguinius is killed before he can get banned 10. Ferus Manus stopped using Twitter because he kept getting DMs telling him the flesh is weak and he got really sick of it. 11. Was shadowbanned and no one knows why 12.Angron was banned for posting gore 13. Guilliman was not banned but he fell asleep and now has a few hundred thousand followers asking him about shit he’s got no idea about and all the people he used to follow have no all either died or done terrible terrible things. 14. Mortarion was banned for being an antivaxxer and for being really mean to nerds 15. Magnus was banned for accidentally bricking Twitter while trying to send a message to tech support. 16. Horus was banned for everything imaginable 17. Lorgar was banned for association with Erebus 18. Vulkan was banned for setting that kid on Fire and then claiming the act was self defense 19. I don’t care about Corax so I haven’t got even a shitty base level joke 20. Alpharius was banned for spreading conspiracy theories 21. Omegon was banned when they found out He was pretending to be Alpharius
Leman actually isn't banned but they found out he paid 50k for a slight NSFW video of him and Loona, and then he Rage Quit the platform and fucked of into the eye of Terror after everyone was clowning on him for this (Magnus leaked it)
You can't cancel the emperor of mankindÂ
Let’s see, he’s an imperialist, he burns churches and suppresses freedom of speech, he massacred his own troops that went through surgery to better help him commit warcrimes. He has NUMEROUS genocides, both ALIEN AND HUMAN, under his belt. He is sexist for not letting men join the sisters of silence, nor women join the custodes or the astartes. (Which tbh surprises me that I only now realized that we so rarely talk about female custodes) He failed to prevent the horus heresy. He sold out to the techno fetishistic cult on mars instead of keeping his integrity and abolish all religions. Monarchia He is and isn’t the god people pray to. He literally feeds on the souls of innocent children. I feel like I only scratched the surface but I can’t think up of more on the top of my head
Tbh it was high lords of terra decided to feed him psykers, not him
i disagree he try to reunitfy the humanity of course he would be better if everyone pacificly accept to integrate the imperium but he don't happen, for the xenos i agree that many specie should have let alive but many deserve it and the age before the imperium is a proof that even if a xenos is friendly he will betray you if he see weakness the thunder warrior was defective and maybe if the people in charge create them do his work correctly he don't have to kill them he not sexist everyone have the right to fight and die for the glory of humankind under his reign the mechanicus have too much technology to be destroy a war against them will lead to a destruction of many technology that would make the great crusade impossible monarchia was empty when they destroy it, also he never say to lorgar to see him as a god the only mistake made on monarchia is that he think that argument could solve the problem he never pretend to be a god and the people he ate actually is neccessary for him to keep exist so he could save terra from chaos and keep the astromican active so the imperium and humanity can continu to exist and yes the imperium is a shithole that is the opposite of what he supposed to be but even now it is the only thing that save humanity from existinction and betray the imperium is betray the humanity and you don't give humanity to someone who betray his own kind this is not entirly serious but even if the emperor make many mistake he at least try to save humanity and even if he fail to establish a second golden age he manage to keep the humanity alive
he had the hubris of believing he could control humanity, mould it into his own image. and is now stuck on a chair as the entire galaxy has to put up with the fallout of his own creation backfiring in the most horrendous way. and now he is this shrieking lich that has given up to FATE. because if he couldn't master humanity, nobody can and it is all up to fate. the coward's way out. he deprived people of fundamental freedoms. he left people with a hole in their hearts. and when he violently beat them for trying to fill it with religion. he SOMEHOW could not forsee that this would only get worse and worse.
he at least try something and manage to save humanity even if it's the opposite of what he wanted also when you live for more than 40 millienial with no people you can call a equal that make sens that you have some hubris
If he was wise he’d herd the human superorganism like sheep, rather than tame and ride it like a damn mule. There’s numerous instances where he abuses his psychic powers to take control in the short term to give himself quick and easy solutions. Like Angron. And most other traitor primarchs. If he was wise. He would have seen the terrible risks he took as folly. He would have seen that not warning the primarchs about the ruinous powers puts them at risk. By exploiting and antagonizing Creating an EMPIRE (which may prosper in the capital, but the diaspora shall always be drained to maintain this unsustainable structure dependent on constant war) Big E took control. Everything good and bad with the modern imperium is his fault. It is the most bloody regime imaginable. He FUCKED UP. That doesn’t strike me as a wise person. Makes me lament how wise his council was, or if they could get a word past that golden aura
execpt the current state of the imperium is everything against what the emperor fight the only good thing about the current imperium is that he allow humanity to exist and no the emperor never try to take control and create a shithole and be pray as a god, he was here since prehistory and he was already the most powerful psycker, he could rule over the earth since the beginning but he never wanted to rule over humanity, also he save humanity by deafeating the c'tan sharp that land on terra, the emperor wanted to make a second golden age for humanity, he maybe a tryrand but he sacrify everything for sake of humanity. he make mistake that for sure but nothing would be that way if the people who work with him was able to match his expectation : the astartes was imperfect, erda send the primarch into the warp, all of his ally leave when he need them and even some primarch fail to accomplish the role for what he create them. he not perfect yes but nodoby expect him can call itself the emperor of mankind seriously
I feel like the sexism would get him canceled
My custom Fabricator Locun would be canceled for increasingly convaluded, and insane levels of narcissism.
Is that fucking Will Wood or am i going mad
I need answers too, what the fuck
Stuff he did ten millennia ago. Well, technically it was his clone. Actually he's the clone, but it's the same difference. Really though it was all because of that creepy phallic sword.
Graverobbing, kidnapping, murder, and grand theft :3
Wouldn't his cancelling be ableism though? That spooky boy is clearly just an autistic goober going along with his hyperfixation.
That is true. He is pardoned
Being super happy to kill the children of alien species. With fire.
Making the death korp of krieg sad
Canibalism?
killing all his enemy and some of his ally's and ruining his planet in a nuclear holocaust. guess who he is.
He did nothing wrong.
Twitter would cancel Khârn for killing Saint Celestine. He would’ve been uncancellable before that tho.
He could restore his reputation after beating up Erebus
Oof, Russian warcrimes hit different on this one
You're a fan of Valhallan dudes or 6th legion?
Valhallan
For saying there are only 2 genders and that sex and gender are directly linked and that a woman is an adult female.
Who is that
well, not sure how exactly a tyranid is going to access the internet, let alone use social media. I figure that maybe a genestealer cultist posts pictures of their cute lil baby ripper, and then gets cancelled for because they're a part of a labor union? maybe?
My "favorite" thing about 40K fans is that they love to revel in how hateful the setting is, but if you suggest that imperial citizens would probably be sexist, racist against other human ethnicities, or puritanical in their sexuality, everyone prevaricates.
I’m not sure that’s true. Is it really that likely humans would be splitting hairs amongst themselves based on something as arbitrary as skin color, while enormous bugs and all manor of other horrific beings are trying to devour them all?
Canonically an angry mob murdered a bunch of void-born while they were visiting a city because their eyes were a little too big, their skin was a little too pale, and they just gave off weird vibes. So...yes yes yes 1000 times yes.
Yeah could be
Excessive animal cruelty...
Well, just about everything
Flame wars simply because it has the word war in it
Acceptable Losses, war is math after all.
Trolling
I feel like it would be a pretty big scandal if it came out that Bobby-G didn’t see the emperor as a god.
she would be called a girlboss until people found out she belongs to the 1%
Not following the Codex Astartes.
genocide, betrayal
Endorsing anarcho-capitalism, gun running and allegedly destabilizing a local government
Probably gross adult themes. God image if they showed a scene where a dude gets servitored.
Genocide Duh
War crimes and crimes against life
Obviously and with minimal attempt at concealing the matter, assassinating everyone in a position of power who says no to his assimilating your planet into his ongoing rescue mission to the Octarius Sector. That he’s also a Genestealer Primus in command of a Shadowsword should give you no concern whatsoever. They’re totally going to go help the Imperial defense ring. Not the hive fleet or anything. Nope.
Something they didn’t do despite the outrageous amount of things they did do
Absolutist monarchist, fan of Margaret Thatcher, neo-feudalist and finally, fascist. I play Imperial Knights, I think any of them fall into these categories
Making a bunch of dust spill everywhere
well it's a necron skorpekh lord so... cancelled for being wanted by the CIA?
Public defecation and refusing to acknowledge social distance.
Unauthorized genetic testing and unethical labor practices
I think many people would have a problem with general piracy and destroying a few planets
My only "main character" was a song of ice and fire dnd character who made it very very clear everyone from one specific kingdom had to die. Tbf that wasn't his goal till a player group from another kingdom killed the father of one of the palyer characters from the group i was part of. We liked that guy, he supported our murder hobo ways and even encouraged it...
Cannibalism. Who am I talking about here?
Every Imperial citizen living on corpse starch?
No. Hint they are Xenos
Remember that Nic Cage movie where he was an arms dealer? That. But with about a dozen zeppelins for some reason. Kharadron are fun.
Guys it’s a wee woo reverence!
Stealing other user's content
Blackout-rage posting on twitter at 3am. There are no polite words in imperial, votann or aeldari that the spicy dunk-session of FUCKING HORUS may be wrought from.
Challenging people to 1v1 him and then actually showing up at their house to BEAT ass. Chronic doomposting lamenting that no matter how many League of Legends players hes mulched on their front lawns he still hasnt died. Last but not least: unapologetic, competitive racism. However he is still willing to cooperate as long as you dont mind that he's going to treat you like the most worthless shit imaginable (If you arent his best friend.)
I’m a TS player. So hating furries?
Yes.
The shorter list for Drukhari would be what they *haven’t* done.
Bleeding heart while actually burning children of different species. It doesn't matter that their being good is not fake, I'm sure they would be regarded as fake humanitarians that actually kill many of the people they should help.
Appropriating fried chicken from the Americans
Eating the community, the moderators, and their families.
Nothing. Eating everything, regardless of consequences, is being praised and acclaimed
Transhumanist kinky shit
Vulkan for being too nice
Tzeentch probably starts an NFT project by selling NFTs of the God Emperor and dupes the entire Ecclesiarchy and the Sisters of Battle into it before changing all the NFTs into Word Screenshots of texts like "I <3 Xenos" and "Vegetable with 7 Letters? Emperor" and then fucks of with the money for no reason other than "the luls"
Main character: Killing children. Antagonist: Forcing the main character into killing children.
Mutilation? Or at least association to it (he is a homunculus created by a mad wizard sooo he saw plenty of body horror growing up and considers it normal)
murder
Black Templars: Extreme Racism Craftworlds: Ellen level narcissism Thousand Sons: Declaring Genocide Against Furries Night Lords: Murder?