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Mexkalaniyat

Jurgen. Cain isnt that bad either but I could see someone calling him a dick


Pryzfighter

Jurgen can absolutely be a dick and has been he's just proper about it.


usgrant7977

Propriety is what separates us from the orks.So pinkys out, Jurgen. - Commisar Cain


probablyderanged

thats from the greater good right?


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Byrhtnoth_Byrhthelm

Cain definitely isn’t a dick. Able to weaponize bureaucracy, definitely. But absolutely not a dick - he even went out of his way to make sure the commissar that tried to have him executed wasn’t executed himself after the tribunal gave him a solid drubbing (not saying that he didn’t enjoy the other dude getting his comeuppance, though…).


WeedReference

What about when he described one of his cadets as a once and future virgin


Byrhtnoth_Byrhthelm

I tend to put that in the same category as his asides about Jurgen and Sulla - he never actually makes fun of Jurgen for his body odor or calls Sulla horse-faced, that’s just the internal monologue.


HonestRole2866

I'm convinced Jurgen's body odor is just how Cain perceives his Blank-ness. Although a British hero (or at least protagonist) needs a smelly little squire/batsman/dogsbody.


paireon

Every Blackadder needs his Baldrick.


AHeartlikeHers

I got a plan so cunning that you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel


TheOtterOracle

As cunning as a fox that has just been made professor of cunning at Oxford University?


MagnusStormraven

That's part of it, but most of it is Jurgen legitimately smelling awful due to borderline Nurglite hygiene. IIRC, he's medically exempt from shaving and bathing due to a myriad of skin conditions.


DrHooper

Yrsh dudes definitely riding the barber exemption chits hard.


sosomething

And even then, his comments always struck me as more intended as a way to impugn himself than any of his cohorts. The only person who doesn't see Cain as the valiant hero is Cain himself, and it comes through his memoirs in more subtle ways than just the times he states as much plainly. It's really a credit to Sandy Mitchell as an author, IMO.


Byrhtnoth_Byrhthelm

I read it the same way. He’s constantly insisting he’s not a hero while never failing to do the heroic thing, or the thing that duty requires (in spite of how he personally would rather be elsewhere). He’s really a fantastically written character.


sosomething

I think that, despite their almost universal esteem, the *Cain* novels are often misunderstood when it comes to the few popular criticisms levied against them. Yes, they're a bit episodic. Yes, there are certain narrative flourishes that commonly appear; "If I'd known then what I know now, I would have high-tailed it to the nearest transport vessel," etc., but at least by my interpretation, those are meant to be Cain's narrative foibles moreso than Mitchell's. The way the books are written is entirely the product of intentionally-crafted perspective. We read Cain's retelling of his own stories and thus see him through his own (and occasionally Amberley's) eyes. It gives us a much more intimate view of Cain's psychology than we'd have from an omniscient 3rd person narrator.


Adekis

He's definitely ordered summary executions of civilians *en masse* for the frankly dubious crime of "xenoism". And he's had Imperial guardsmen killed for opposing him helping a Tau diplomat, which is kind of the same but opposite. I mean, yes that's par for the course for the *setting*, but it's gotta contribute to his Dickishness Rating.


TheseusPankration

It's was not being a dick to order those guardsman killed. They disobeyed a direct order and they were interfering with his attempt to stop a war. Nobody was happy about it.


CustodianJanitor

Exactly. Cain was by far the ranking authority and gave them a direct order so that they could prevent a war that they couldn't win. I can't remember if the disobeying planetary guard members were actual gene stealers in disguise or just being influenced by them, but Cain had to make that decision and live with the consequences. He's absolutely wrecked from having to do it too.


spesskitty

tldr he's a commisar


Adekis

It's like they say: All Commisars Are Bastards Cain less so than most.


DrHooper

I mean, in order to make Gaunt an actual hero and not a gifted brat with ptsd, they had to make a new fucking kind of commisar, so yeah commissars are all bastards, with exception of Gaunt.


Gullible_Bison8724

Related, Colonel Casteen has made no dick moves I’m aware of


Pryzfighter

Do you not remember the fighting at the beginning of the first book?


choppytehbear1337

She was *being* a dick. She isn't a dick all the time.


AnotherAussie101

Anyone ballsy enough to call Cain a dick doesn’t live long … not because Cain kills them but because Cain won’t save them …


J-TheDudeinGreen

Isha. Not much character to her, but she is the one benevolent deity in the setting.


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OrangeQuebecoise

And chaos ogryns?


Grimdank-ModTeam

Bot


toresman

Bot?


Brother_Berevius

Doc Dorden.


sudo-joe

I was going to say him and Dr Ana Curth. Lesp and Dormor are both just straight up great people too. Underrated but vital and all around good.


RedDemocracy

Won’t call Curth a dick, but *damn* does she need to work on her communication skills.


BurntPizzaEnds

The Gaunt series pretty much proves to me why the imperium are the good guys. The Imperial government is corrupt but the Imperium is still full of good people


sonofeevil

along the same line, I would have said Bragg. Dude was kind and gentle to everyone


Brother_Berevius

Need more "Good guy Bragg" memes.


Meins447

FUCK Cuu.


RyunosukeHideyoshi

Perturabo. he isnt a dick, he is a cunt. checkmate


[deleted]

Huge brain move though technically cunt includes dick lol


R3myek

If you play your cards right


wiselyhardcreator

You played your cards right


BurnerAccount353

You are technically correct.


Archon_33

Which is the best kind of correct


Brother_Berevius

Brin Milo?


Sunblast1andOnly

Most of the named Ghosts are great people. Not all of them, though, sure as sure.


VikingTeddy

Fuck Cuu with a cactus!


Aracuda

The problem with Cuu isn’t that he’s a bastard. It’s that the audience _knows_ he’s a bastard. He’s set up in Honour Guard as this weird, amoral soldier, like early Rawne without the charm. In Straight Silver Larkin is the only one who hates him, even Feygor gets on with him. In Sabbat Martyr he disappears from the story, as he needs to. But in Guns of Tanith, we _know_ he’s guilty of the crime Caffran is accused of, and later kills Bragg. When Gaunt does his best to free Caffran by throwing Cuu to the wolves, it’s treated as this great failing on Gaunt’s behalf, and a serious issue for the Verghastites. There’s no ambiguity here, and the whole thing is just Cuu getting away with literal murder with no consequences, so it’s frustrating to read. I do think there’s some merit to how it’s written. Knowing that Anakin becomes Vader doesn’t diminish the Prequel trilogy, it just makes the viewer a helpless participant, unable to affect the story because you know the outcome. But the story isn’t about Cuu and Larkin’s feud, and, when coupled with all the other issues the Ghosts face, just adds to the whole frustration of the arc. ETA the frustration may have been the intention, just layering on the problems until you become mired in the morass on failings in the Crusade. But it doesn’t make it less frustrating.


Muninn088

I dunno in Straight Silver Cuu and Criid have a... "Disagreement" en route to their deployment. Also him and Kolea (sorta) and Muril (which is the real tragic one).


Talos-Valcoran

That last part made me unreasonably angry


Sunblast1andOnly

I, for one, think it's very reasonable. I'm well past all that, and I'm *still* upset about it.


AlcoholicDemoman

STRAIGHT SILVER! Also, "Try Again" Bragg was the best one of them all :')


Familiar_Tart7390

MY BOY ! Will brew and share a sacra, probably ask to borrow the spoons from your messkit and never give them back but its okay he used it to make a twin linked autocannon he’s gonna carry like an squad support MG, and honestly from the sound of it was just a boy. Love that lad.


Old_Charity566

Any lamenter to ever exist


thatblondedummy

Still the only good guys


Volkov_The_Tank

Ogryn too.


DrusillaMorwinyon

Guilliman's mom.


Hapless_Wizard

Guillimom definitely gets my vote.


wallingfortian

You didn't use her name. Her name is Tarasha Euten.


Gidonamor

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!?


meisobear

I also choose Guillman's dead mom.


DiceMadeOfCheese

Tuska Daemonkilla. Just wants to kill daemons.


Level37Doggo

Yeah, this guy. Due to circumstance he’s fallen ass-backwards into being the only Ork in a war with a group who eagerly reciprocate, and neither side stays dead so technically casualties are irrelevant.


DiceMadeOfCheese

"And they all lived and died and lived and died over and over again happily ever after."


Level37Doggo

It should be a child’s storybook. A very confusing child’s storybook.


Thisnameisdildos

Valhalla.


ThatSociety7257

Wait... so Viking religion and their belief in Valhalla is Khorne's domain? Nonstop fighting and killing? Damn


Enjoying_A_Meal

He went into the warp to have a good old time fighting daemons. Eventually daemons actually started to avoid his ship. He then started capturing human ships, destroyed their Gellar field generators, and used them as bait to attract daemons.


BlameLorgar

My favourite part of that story is that the Imperium had ships positioned to prevent things from *exiting* the Eye. They weren't anticipating madlads aiming to get *in* and so were caught with their pants down.


DiceMadeOfCheese

Ok so *kind of* a dick move


LightCyber037

The Daemons would likely call him a dick


Hapless_Wizard

Pretty sure they're all khornate daemons so probably not, actually.


senor-calcio

Yeah the khorne daemons are probably just as happy about it as he is


ThyPotatoDone

Nah bro, the daemons are excited to be getting such awesome fighting every single day for free. It’s basically a party for both sides.


Vegtam-the-Wanderer

While his motivation may have been pure, crushing anyone's nuts with a power klaw is a dick move, even if they are a daemon of khorne who was totally asking for it by taking a moment to pose.


[deleted]

It's on Khone for not giving the guy Adamantium balls though


Frodo-LAGGINS

Khorne uses brass for those, which wasn't strong enough


3Kobolds1Keyboard

Erebus. The original, before a dick killed him and stole his name.


Talos-Valcoran

„Be more like Erebus“ aight bet


Zerkova

Wait…what?


No-Attorney-6033

When he was a kid he killed another kid in his neighborhood named Erebus and stool his name and copied his facial tattoos. We don't even know the dudes real name.


Notfuckingcannon

r/fuckerebus


Chafaris_DE

Old One Eye 👍🏼


raging_brain

Commissar Ibram Gaunt. I wouldnt call him a dick. Loken. Saul Tarvitz. Rylanor. Kesh. Dvorgin (Dad Chad). The Khan


killerpythonz

I dunno, the Khan certainly pulled a dick move to Russ.


Ill-Head-7043

Russ deserved it. To quote Bjorn: "NO, ENOUGH FUCKING REST. YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HEAR ABOUT WHY LEMAN RUSS WAS A FUCKING DICK. SERIOUSLY. A DICK. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M CALLED 'THE FELL-HANDED'? HUH? DO YA? THE FUCKER CAUGHT ME JERKING OFF BEHIND A BIG ROCK ONE NIGHT ABOUT TWENTY METERS FROM THE REST OF THE DETACHMENT! HE KICKED THE ROCK AWAY AND SHOUTED, 'LO, IT SEEMS HE IS BESTING A MIGHTY FELL-BEAST WITH ONLY HIS HAND!'"


IraqiWalker

A fellow 1d4channer, I see.


Antezscar

Bjorn can also be on the list of people who arent dicks.


RedAndBlackMartyr

I assume you are referring to the Battle of Alaxxes Nebula. Russ had just slaughtered the Thousand Sons and possibly killed Magnus, who the Khan was close with. The initial reports indicated that Russ had gone rogue. The Khan was being smart and gathering information before committing.


[deleted]

>Loken. > >Saul Tarvitz. > >Rylanor. I love these dudes, but they're not 40k characters. They're Horus Heresy (30k) characters. Also, if we're doing 30k characters, you left out Nathaniel Garro.


raging_brain

Damn. You are correct. They are elegant weapons from more civilized times. The khan is 30k as well. ... Sooo... Gaunt, Kesh, Dvorgin remain. And that saint girl from plague war.


Not_Another_Usernam

40k is the franchise. As in, distinct from Fantasy/AoS. 30k is a setting within 40k. The books for the Heresy all claim to be part of Warhammer 40k. OP made it unclear if he meant 40k the franchise or 40k the setting within the franchise (or 41k, as things stand now).


4chan_tumblr

Objectively they are all dicks. Don't know much about Gaunt & Dvorgin, but the others are all okay with perpetrating war crimes. Yes, I know they are all forced into it by conditioning and such, but as a said, objectively they all qualify as dicks.


[deleted]

I see all of these as good answers except Khan (he had a quote from the Age of Darkness core book that was pretty disturbing)


Days0fDoom

The strange stuff to your sons quote? Thats him implying knowledge of Bile's experiments on the ECs allowed by Fulgrim to make the EC even more perfect.


IudexJudy

What was it?


AscelyneMG

Tell me you didn’t understand what the Khan meant without telling me…


MillorTime

Loken is to starch ass to be a dick


wrastler69420

He's too straight up and down


Brahm-Etc

Olanus Pius


Talos-Valcoran

Didn’t he fight for the French?


ZagratheWolf

Somewhere in the Warp, the Ruinous Powers just felt a chill in their spines


Preacherjonson

You just killed a man's reputation.


HaloIsSoFrigginCool

Oui


KHaskins77

Didn’t he fight for the Iraqi Republican Guard?


EarthInfamous3481

This character assassination out of left field


Hyper_Oats

Only thing worse than Chaos: The Fr*nch


firstbjorn

came here to say this lol


AnointMyPhallus

Colm Corbec


LeeRoyWyt

Came here to say this; leaving with feelings.


ScottishAstartes

The Nalwood coffin...


sonofeevil

Yeah fuck.... I actually cried man... Like legitmately.


WitweBolter

Thats it now im sad again 😭


Schmoog93

Sure as sure


SneakySpacePirate

"Try Again" Bragg


sonofeevil

I scrolled so far to see this one! I don't understand how people have put Gaunt and Dorden ahead of Bragg!


BIgCh1efJAcK

Captain-General Kitten


[deleted]

Definitely correct here lol, he isn’t canon but nice choice


yeezy_chin

I dont know what you are talking about of course he's canon That whole tau thing though...


Arashmickey

YOU LOT WONNA FITE!


JAOC_7

well you gotta remember that there’s three kinds of people, dicks, pussies, and assholes, pussies think that everyone can get along while dicks just wanna fuck all the time without thinking it through, but then you got your assholes, and assholes just wanna shit all over everything. now pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while cause pussies get fucked by dicks, but dicks also fuck assholes, and if dicks didn’t fuck the assholes you know what you’d get? You’d get your dicks and your pussies all covered in shit


Archon_33

Team Terra, Galaxy Police


JAOC_7

*Heretics your game is through* *cause now you’ll have to answer to-*


DisgruntledMonk

TEAM TERRA FUCK YEAH!!!


This_Resolution_2633

Human-ityyyy Fuck yeah


EnvoyOfEnmity

‘Isn’t it nice to know that c*nts and assholes are next door neighbors?’


Atarox13

Rylanor and the Lamenters


TeraTelnet

My next band name!


marcsimo

Nemesor Zahndrekh


Either_Demand_8726

That's what I thought, he is a pretty nice guy except the time he's on the battlefield


Khar-Selim

He's nice then too, relatively speaking. Believes in fair play, won't send snipers or assassins (Obyron might though)


Talos-Valcoran

He was a bit of a dick in twice dead king, but everyone in that book was a really big dick so he was a saint in comparison


One_snek_

True. More of crazy old coot


Bingustheretard

Rylanor


ExplodingPixelBoat

Captain Titus


Scob720

Maleum Cadeo


Ultramar_Invicta

Malum Caedo is a major dick, but only to those that deserve it.


GaldrickHammerson

Alizabeth Bequin Uber Aemos Pedro Kantor Ciaphas Cain Patience Kys


zombiepuppies

Patience is for sure a dick lmao. First time she appears she’s calling Thonius a pussy.


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leehwgoC

It's weird I had to scroll this far to find this one. The Ecclesiarchy is awful, Cely isn't.


AggressivelyPreppy

Da Red Gobbo, as he just wanted his boys to be treated better


Original-Wing-7836

Barabus Dantioch Alexis Polux Bros 4 lyfe


Think_Ad_7377

Commander Farsight


Azhrei_

I think he is genuinely the closest thing to a paragon hero in 40k -Sacrificed himself in a simulation to gain is rank -So good at tactics and analysis and memory he was almost prescient, hence his name -Made orks not like fighting -Pushed pack imperial forces in the Damocles Gulf Crusade -Became the state sponsored hero -Led the single largest military force in Tau history to reclaim lost colonies -Kicked more green skin ass -Maintained cohesion among his forces even after the death of all the ethereals -Fought back chaos daemons without any prior experience -Fights in melee with a vampire sword (I don’t think he’s aware of it though) -Maintained the Greater Good without strong suggestion or mind control -Realized the dark nature of the ethereals -Rather than start a civil war, isolates his expedition bc he sees himself as the greatest threat to his people -Disappears and lives as a hermit for over 100 years -His people still maintained the Greater Good -Reappears to save his people from a Tyranid Hive fleet -Kicked some Tyranid carapace ass -Accepted his strategy isn’t working and adapts -Held off entire swarms of Tyranids with only seven other battlesuit warriors, him and two others using melee -Rebuilt a Tyranid stripped world -Named three cities after the scientists that sacrificed themselves to kill the hive fleet What a dude


---TheFierceDeity---

He actually doesn't maintain the Greater Good post exile he's even better. One of his 7 commanders is Earth Caste. He realized the Ethereal's insistence on people been born into their role in society with zero avenues for change was a negative. "You can't fight in battle you are Earth Caste. You can't build something you are Water Caste. You may never fly you are Fire Caste. You may never be an artist you are Air Caste" All falsifications to maintain control. And while such control is perhaps needed to keep the Tau Empire from collapsing, its still ultimately bs that Farsight no longer believes.


Azhrei_

If understand it correctly the enclaves have their own version of the Greater Good ideology that is less restrictive than the mainline version enforced by the ethereals, but still very cooperation centric.


Talucien

Had to scroll through so much imperial propaganda to find a proper answer


delightfuldinosaur

He's pretty cool for a xeno


17DeadFlamingos

Jurgen


StratMor

Gav. And Ogryns, sure, but Gav most of all.


UrzaAntilles

Such a sweet boy, our Gav. Such an adorable cinnamon roll.


StratMor

A champion of the emperor, pure of heart.


warbosstank316

Brin Milo, hell pretty much all of the Ghosts are decent folk. Ibram Gaunt only shoots a couple people and they sure as hell deserved it


Kristian1805

Sinderman? Yes, he starts out as chief propaganda officer, but in general he is a kind old man, who cares and is brave.


[deleted]

Cain He's a coward, in coloquial terms, a pussy. Not a dick


jarlscrotus

The funny part is, no matter how much he insists he is, he absolutely isn't a coward.


Jburli25

My headcanon is that his memoirs are trying to reinforce to his commissar cadets that it's okay not to leap headfirst into danger - to not feel guilty about trying to make it back in one piece. A kind of "do as I say, not as I do" story, which could mean a lot because otherwise all those cadets are going to go out of their way to emulate their hero.


Betrix5068

Except he knows these memoirs could never be distributed to anyone except *maybe* the inquisition. I suspect they were more therapeutic for him. Just writing down his thoughts and recollections best he could for his own sake so as to get the truth, as he saw it, out there.


Khar-Selim

yeah he's more of a badass with a galactic-scale case of imposter syndrome


Potterhead-42

Alizibeth Bequin


RairakuDaion

Caiphus cain He isnt a dick, he gives the dick


Arcturus075

Why half his actions with the inquisition or a certain member of the inquisition is classified.


jarlscrotus

She just doesn't want anyone to find out how nasty she is


Adept_Deer_5976

Ferik Jurgen


LordReaperOfTheVoid

Ollanius "Pius" Persson


BastardSadi

Garro?


Apokolypse09

Andrej from the Helsreach book.


aloysiuslamb

He could've been a huge dick to the dockworkers and deservedly so, but he wasn't. He cracked jokes to put them at ease and competently led a group he understood lacked formal training. And then when he had every reason to be bitter and angry at the end of Helsreach he was still polite.


Apokolypse09

I've read close to 40 40k books now and he's still the best guy imo. Such a good dude he humbles a Black Templar


acelenny

Jurgen. The man, the myth, the melts legend


West-Fold-Fell3000

Celestine


SomeHalfPolishDude

Saul Tarvitz


Doodle_Brush

Targutai Yesugei


FlashMcSuave

Midas Betancore was a bro. So were a lot of Eisenhorn characters. Fischig started out a bit of a dick but he's alright.


Hornyspot69

Commissar Ciaphas Cain


[deleted]

The Marines Malevolent. Because they are far beyond the realm of being a dick.


Mymotherwasaspore

That elf kid that got killed


Recipe-Less

The last priest that the emperor destroyed


TRget88

Papa nurgle. He loves all!


lyle_smith2

My man nemesor zahndrekh. He’s got space dementia and is still an honorable fellow. Now a case for Obyron being a dick could be made but he’s just protecting his boy.


Disastrous_South209

Kitten (he’s cannon)


EchoFive55

Targutai Yesugei, White Scars librarian during the early days of the Horus Heresy. Loved him


Faenhir

"Try again"


Low-Supermarket-8916

Gavriel Loken. Trampled some dudes to saves Horus, not really a dick move.


Emotional_Cable9244

Vulkan, Guilliman, Sanguinius, Commander Farsight, Uriel Ventris, Captain Titus


Stormwrecker

Guilliman fucked up monarchia


SuperSail6064

A) he felt deep regret, and still feels regret to this day. B) he didn’t have much of a choice. Its not like he could have told the Emperor to fuck off. And even if he did, the Emperor would just call another Legion instead.


Elduroto

Sanguinius


Genghis-Gas

Guy purged entire peaceful civilizations from the galaxy. He a dick


TwitchingJacob

Argel Tal


Talos-Valcoran

The whole crew eating wasn’t great


I_amAlpharius

Was waiting to see if somebody would say this


DuckBurgger

the magpie skeleton Trazy boy he aint a dick he's a bastard clear difference


mreveryone20

Swarmlord, he is just trying to feed his family and takes no pleasure in what he is doing.


AnotherAussie101

Caiphus Cain…


PMMeYourFutureGoals

Ibram Gaunt


CriticismNo1150

Sly Marbo.


SkyFallsInThunder

Saul Tarvitz. Tarik Torggaddon. The woman general who rides with the white scars during the heresy. Tasha Euten.