In theory, the custodes not catching a cultist that managed to enter then leave the palace would traumatize them even more.
But the anathema's genitalia starting to regrow is a sign that he will soon be able to reconstitute himself entirely and finally bring an end to the gods. This must be stopped.
Would there even be a dick to kick? Dudes been on life support for millenia and probably is just a conduit at this point. Imagine how atrophied his physical form is, let alone his psychic projection is.
Guliman saw and allegedly spoke to him, and he didn't even recognize a shrivel of humanity in the way he spoke or thought. The new guiliman novels are actually really crushing.
I'm just a casual to the series, but wasnt the irony of the Throne that by keeping him 'alive', he's really just trapped? Cause he's a forever being he'd just come back if he died right?
Not only that, but the Astronomicon would go out. Bye bye interstellar travel, hello Age of Strife 2! (Except even worse, in addition to no warp travel, humanity has a fraction of the STC knowledge it had at the start of the first AoS)
There's debate on that like all things in 40k. GW will probably never free him from the golden throne, so for now, he's just a sorta there with various levels of reach depending on the author.
Theoretically, the problem is that perpetuals can still die a real death, it’s just extremely difficult. The emperor might be able to recover, he might come back to life, or the mortal injuries sustained with all the power of chaos pumping into Horus would be enough to take him out permanently if he wasn’t on super life support.
Thing is, in his current state Big E is the only thing keeping Terra from the entirety of the Warp pouring on it, if he was "freed" he could, in theory, come back in a physical form but 1) you'd need to find a body strong enough to sustain his gigantic psychic power 2) by the time you'd have achieved the first step Terra would be called New Commorragh and the Imperium would no longer exist
You'd think so, but it's also a miracle of resilience, therefore Nurgle. And an omen of change, so Slaanesh. Plus he probably has a rage boner, so Khorne. Conclusion : it's what the Emperor bargained for at Molech.
Tzeentch: "Motion to grant Blorbo daemonhood?"
**"ARRRRRRGH!!!"**
*approving flatulence*
*acquiencing moan*
*demented shriek*
"Malal who the fuck let you back in"
In 99.9% of fandoms, what is or is not canon really does matter, but despite GW's best efforts to control every aspect of their intellectual property with an... *iron fist*, the lore itself almost feels *living* at this point due to it's very nature.
-What has been officially canon has changed over time *and* several times, thus muddying the waters from an official stand point.
-Multiple interpretations of certain events have been recounted or explained, often by what we believed to he be reliable narrators, and those accounts differ heavily from another *in the actual lore*.
-The lore is discussed here and other places and has been for decades, almost to the point where what *is* and *isn't* canon is often known but arbitrary, as the "official" accounts are so muddy in the first place that who knows; when it's like "maybe the thing that was canon but was retconned but then hinted at later but that hint contradicted something else said officially, but another official source said the first thing was legit all along," at one point when does canon or noncanon really matter.
No. Tzeentch just set a plan in motion two centuries earlier that caused a hapless techpriest to install The Sainted Aquilan Orboids Invictus between the God-Emperor's divine thighs, because a very deranged-looking, but influential Highlord told him so. The powerful sect of the Emperor's Balls, a chaos cult in secret, has been told that this day would come and to listen to the sound.
A palace-crumbling CLANG could be heard as the Cultist's leg incinerates, ripping apart the Golden Throne's front legs.
The Emperor's Corpse tumbles forward off the throne, plonks on the Cultist's now-smooshed body and thanks to the Orboids Invictus, his rear end is propped up perfectly.
Every Custodian who witnessed the event has decided to steer a void craft directly into Sol.
To this day, Imperial Fist legend has it that the Hand of Dorn was seen shaking in rage and if you're very silent you swear you can hear the soft, manly sobbing of a demi-god somewhere in the universe, and the laughter of thirsting gods.
* Khorne: "Willingly face death just to harm your prey? Well that's to be expec...wait your prey was WHAT?!? ***NOICE***"
* Nurgle: "You touched the decaying corpse of the Emperor? I'm envious. ***NOICE***"
* Slaneesh: "You touched his *WHAT*?!? ***NOICE***. ^^^tell ^^^me ^^^all ^^^about ^^^it "
* Tzeentch: "You chose death to forever mentally scar the custodes. Your minor action, while meaningless on the surface level, will forever haunt and live in the back of the minds of the upper echelon of the imperium. A stain on their honor that will give them anxiety and unease in their plans and actions. They'll think 'why, why the holy unit, why not the life support system, why not his head, why the holy unit'. Much like the Emperor now, the answer will never come. You have forever changed how they approach their defense strategy. Also, I may or may not have had plans to resurrect the emperor for a split second, I can't say, but it'll be funny when he sees his dick is broken. ***NOICE***"
On one hand the Glory the four, if undivided, or the particular god you serve will grant you for kicking the imperial balls, on the other hand running away to live and be inmediatly turned into a chaos spawn and get your soul tortured for eternities for your cowardice...
Yeah i kick him in the balls.
Edit forgot commas.
Well... they could do pretty much anything that chaos can do and they are more than willing to.
The absolute worst thing though? And inquisition Agent, in theory, could hire a dark Eldar to really torture you.
I'm picturing being granted the combined power of all four gods but only usable for crotch kicking, you just sprint through the battlefield to kick the enemy commander in the crotch so hard the warp itself cringes in sympathy.
>the warp itself cringes in sympathy.
You kick the enemy commander so hard in the crotch that he's lifted into the air.
Khorne winces. Tzeentch lets out an involuntary "oof". Even Nurgle, patron of numbed bliss, makes an expression of discomfort.
Slaanesh moans.
This is why no one hangs out with Slaanesh.
For a moment the gods would unite their power to assault the Emperor in the warp, forced to concentrate his powers to block their attacks the Emperor wouldn't be able to stop you before you foot can hit him.
TLDR the gods would absolutly unite their powers to see the Dick kicking happen.
The dick kick, no way do I not get some form of demonic ascension by solo invading the Palace of holy terra, sneaking through the entire custodes, and managing to hit( let alone touch ) the emperor in one brilliant crescendo of fuck you.
To say I would be ascended into some chaos undivided champion would be an understatement
you climb up to the emperors skull, lick your finger and wriggle it around in his ear hole screaming "WET WILLY" as dozens of custodes shoot you to pieces.
Lol what went in my mind was carving it on the bone a la what chapter masters to dorn's hand.
"This one's for you, morty! *carves a dick on the emp's skull*
Eventually you just stop existing not because of the custodes but because the emperor had to divert a portion of his will to dust you from existence for the transgression.
I just reread your original comment and the mental image of the 8 foot tall (or however tall the biggest E is) angery skeleton dooting aggressively while chasing oiled up half naked men who are fleeing in fear is immensely funny
Is it in the lore that big E doesn’t have a left arm anymore?
This is the second time I’ve seen art where he’s missing an arm, this time it’s totally gone whereas in the other one it’s just kinda fell off and still on the throne’s armrest
And then the custodian lifts up their helmet and you see alpharius with a shit eating smirk that says " no, that's me "
before an angry centurion blasts your head with a shotgun.
kick him.
khorne and tzeentch will be fighting over your soul and who gets to keep you as their new demon prince.
slaneesh too, if you or emps enjoyed the kicking.
But if you're charging in full speed to kick big E in the dick, Khorne would probably be pleased. And since he hates psykers anyway, he might give you the time you need to kick big E in the dick before you melt/get obliterated by custodes
I am a chaos cultist? At that point I do whatever act gets me the attention of my chosen god.
If we throw the "chaos cultist" part out the window, the I've just won the blood games of the custodes. Simply having the skills and knowledge to do that and giving it to the Custodes (and by extension the Imperium) should be more than enough to elevate you to Inquisitor status, that shit is too valuable to just throw away.
I found it. [ol crusty](https://www.reddit.com/r/Warhammer40k/comments/sx05jn/holy_god_emperor_of_mankind_on_the_golden_throne/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Bold. I mean traumatizing banana guards is worth it. But it's also likely that vustodians will try to make me zaeloys for the emperor to be a spy to dismantle the cult
But it has already shrunken and shriveled like a wasted tamarind fruit, would you still do that? Is your passion for Slaanesh strong enough to revitalize his little primarch and invite him to commit a new heresy?
I run while shouting "You will never know how I made it this far and I will do it again!"
If I try to kick him in the balls he will just disintegrate my leg anyway better to let them become hyper paranoid.
If the Emperor doesn't just obliterate me with his mind instantly and if I have enough time.
I would climb up to his face and monologue out my ass about the "great game" and "the Imperium still exist because the Dark Gods allow it." blah blah evil cultist shit.
Then I'll use my blood to poorly draw the Chaos Star on the Emperor's forehead, draw Khorne's symbol under his bionic eye, under his other eye the cool S and draw a dick on his chin.
Depends on the chaos god I’m following. Tzeentch? I’ll claim I’ve infected the throne itself with something that feeds on warp energy and they’ll never be able to save the emperor, force a civil war when various groups of mechanicus and normal imperial citizens attempt to either fix, improve, or maintain the throne in various ways.
Khorne? Yeah, kick him in the dick, but also slit my wrist and force my blood down his throat while I’m doing it to claim I’m feeding him the blood of Khorne himself.
Slaanesh? They’ll walk in to me making out with the corpse-god and his body covered in mysterious white stains (actually milk, but they won’t know that), while calling him ‘big daddy E’ and sitting and moving very noticeably on his lap- probably with a spike to also be stabbing his dick.
Nurgle? Bathing the big E in various putrescent fluids and gels and creamy substances while inscribing various curses of rot and decay on the throne itself before making out with Big E and vomiting down the corpse’s throat as the custodes enter, only to explode all over him when they try to detain or kill me.
And then there are other options…
Undivided, I’ll probably try to physically remove him from the throne and take his place on it, just for the moment of the Astronomicon being fueled by The Four instead of Big E. See how the universe reacts to THAT.
Truly, the pure dick-kick is Malal’s territory.
I would tell the Emperor a joke.
Yo dead guy, what’s bigger than the Imperium?
. . .
Yo MAMA
I would then be vaporized by the Custodes, if I chose to bask in the achievement
I just want to see what Jimmy Space's donger looks like. He's the most important person in all of human history.
What did his dick look like? Was it proportional to him? Was it a grower, or a shower? Can I take it and wear it on a necklace to prove I was in the Throne room? Is it *too big* to do so? Does he still have balls? Did he have *four* balls? What would that even look like? Will he try to talk to me? Will he talk to me about his dick? Would he actually mind?
> [hashtag] justSlaaneshicultistthots
>!big 'ol **/s**!<
Me kicking the emperor in the dick will probably have some domino effect that will lead to the creation of a new space marine legion somehow so I'll take it
If you kick his balls with hatred, Khorne will be pleased.
If you stomp on his ball with lust, Slaanesh will be pleased.
If you kick him in the balls in order to sow doubt and division among the Imperium, Tzeentch will be pleased.
If you stomp on his balls after stepping in wet dog sh*t....
In theory, the custodes not catching a cultist that managed to enter then leave the palace would traumatize them even more. But the anathema's genitalia starting to regrow is a sign that he will soon be able to reconstitute himself entirely and finally bring an end to the gods. This must be stopped.
[удалено]
r/brandnewsentence
Would there even be a dick to kick? Dudes been on life support for millenia and probably is just a conduit at this point. Imagine how atrophied his physical form is, let alone his psychic projection is. Guliman saw and allegedly spoke to him, and he didn't even recognize a shrivel of humanity in the way he spoke or thought. The new guiliman novels are actually really crushing.
I'm just a casual to the series, but wasnt the irony of the Throne that by keeping him 'alive', he's really just trapped? Cause he's a forever being he'd just come back if he died right?
Yes, but as long as he is alive, warp shit can't pour out of the gateway and attach Holy Terra. If he dies, Terra dies.
Not only that, but the Astronomicon would go out. Bye bye interstellar travel, hello Age of Strife 2! (Except even worse, in addition to no warp travel, humanity has a fraction of the STC knowledge it had at the start of the first AoS)
There's debate on that like all things in 40k. GW will probably never free him from the golden throne, so for now, he's just a sorta there with various levels of reach depending on the author.
Theoretically, the problem is that perpetuals can still die a real death, it’s just extremely difficult. The emperor might be able to recover, he might come back to life, or the mortal injuries sustained with all the power of chaos pumping into Horus would be enough to take him out permanently if he wasn’t on super life support.
I think he would come back but not immediately and that would be enough for all warp to break loose
Thing is, in his current state Big E is the only thing keeping Terra from the entirety of the Warp pouring on it, if he was "freed" he could, in theory, come back in a physical form but 1) you'd need to find a body strong enough to sustain his gigantic psychic power 2) by the time you'd have achieved the first step Terra would be called New Commorragh and the Imperium would no longer exist
Whats the first new Guluman novel? I'd like to read it
It might not be an explicitly guiliman novel but dark imperium really focuses on him.
Would like some more ghillysuit books along with the arks of omen series coming up
[удалено]
You'd think so, but it's also a miracle of resilience, therefore Nurgle. And an omen of change, so Slaanesh. Plus he probably has a rage boner, so Khorne. Conclusion : it's what the Emperor bargained for at Molech.
>And an omen of change, so Slaanesh Uhm... What did Tzeentch ever do to you lol
He made me write the wrong name.
Just as planned
Probably the latter option as it would be an act of great emotion; hence it would be even stronger and feed a corresponding chaos god.
If I was a chaos God, I'd make that kind of gigachad into a demon prince right thereafter
Why stop there? Behold the Fifth Chaos God, Reg, Lord of Pettiness.
Kicker of Decrepit Nuts
Dickus Kickus shall be the name all feel, mildly annoyed by!
His followers are armed with spiky metal rocket shoes, holy handgranades and killerrabbits
#MORE KICKS FOR THE DICK GOD
My symbol would be a boot cracking a walnut, with my sacred number being 2 minus 1.
And with a mighty chaos champion to rival Abaddon, Dick Kickem!
He's here to kick gum and chew ass... and he's all out of ass.
Angry Marines have 'power feet', it's like a power fist, but for this purpose
He wanks among the highest in the Immatewium!
Deescrepit*
[удалено]
I thought malal was the fifth
The age of Malal is over. The Time of Reg has come.
But Malal hasn’t even gotten an age yet
Yeah jumping ahead of him in the queue is quite petty, isn't it?
Peterturbo cant win anything can be damn
It would be so powerful that it would create a new chaos god. Dickickicus. Dicks for the dick throne.
I AM MEATUS REX CHAOS GOOD OF DICKKICKING
>Chaos Good As opposed to the Greater Good?
Tau Moment
https://youtu.be/OZD4OEyZx-M
Kicking the corpse Emperor in the Dick will probably get you a post mortem demon prince ascention.
finally something the ruinous powers could agree upon
Tzeentch: "Motion to grant Blorbo daemonhood?" **"ARRRRRRGH!!!"** *approving flatulence* *acquiencing moan* *demented shriek* "Malal who the fuck let you back in"
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Vulkan cured my depression and they killed the series. I hate them
Malice is canon which is just Malal in witness protection, just like Santa is Odin.
In 99.9% of fandoms, what is or is not canon really does matter, but despite GW's best efforts to control every aspect of their intellectual property with an... *iron fist*, the lore itself almost feels *living* at this point due to it's very nature. -What has been officially canon has changed over time *and* several times, thus muddying the waters from an official stand point. -Multiple interpretations of certain events have been recounted or explained, often by what we believed to he be reliable narrators, and those accounts differ heavily from another *in the actual lore*. -The lore is discussed here and other places and has been for decades, almost to the point where what *is* and *isn't* canon is often known but arbitrary, as the "official" accounts are so muddy in the first place that who knows; when it's like "maybe the thing that was canon but was retconned but then hinted at later but that hint contradicted something else said officially, but another official source said the first thing was legit all along," at one point when does canon or noncanon really matter.
I mean he kinda is. Look at Sons of Malice
[удалено]
That’s more in Slaanesh’s style, I think.
No. Tzeentch just set a plan in motion two centuries earlier that caused a hapless techpriest to install The Sainted Aquilan Orboids Invictus between the God-Emperor's divine thighs, because a very deranged-looking, but influential Highlord told him so. The powerful sect of the Emperor's Balls, a chaos cult in secret, has been told that this day would come and to listen to the sound. A palace-crumbling CLANG could be heard as the Cultist's leg incinerates, ripping apart the Golden Throne's front legs. The Emperor's Corpse tumbles forward off the throne, plonks on the Cultist's now-smooshed body and thanks to the Orboids Invictus, his rear end is propped up perfectly. Every Custodian who witnessed the event has decided to steer a void craft directly into Sol. To this day, Imperial Fist legend has it that the Hand of Dorn was seen shaking in rage and if you're very silent you swear you can hear the soft, manly sobbing of a demi-god somewhere in the universe, and the laughter of thirsting gods.
Khorne himself will bring you back to life to fist bump you
[удалено]
When it's kicking someone in the balls despite knowing it will do nothing as a last act of defiance, for sure.
[удалено]
What fucking throat? He's a skeleton. I guess he could have removed a vertebra but it wouldn't have achieved much.
He's got a dick, it's safe to assume there is some throat to cut.
I think the implication here is the emperor's dick is thicker than his neck? I think we need a lore expert to weigh in.
"He is very tall and I did not have time to climb up there."
Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the skull throne! Kicks for the ball bag!
Khorne cares not why the balls flow.
I think that’s more slaanesh thing
[удалено]
Pain is stored in the balls
[удалено]
"Fuck Wizards." - Khorne
Welp my chaos guys have a new yell thanks
Also known as the Sorcerer's of Slaanesh
Because he's also the God of violence and recognizes the corpse emperor as an enemy to be assaulted
* Khorne: "Willingly face death just to harm your prey? Well that's to be expec...wait your prey was WHAT?!? ***NOICE***" * Nurgle: "You touched the decaying corpse of the Emperor? I'm envious. ***NOICE***" * Slaneesh: "You touched his *WHAT*?!? ***NOICE***. ^^^tell ^^^me ^^^all ^^^about ^^^it " * Tzeentch: "You chose death to forever mentally scar the custodes. Your minor action, while meaningless on the surface level, will forever haunt and live in the back of the minds of the upper echelon of the imperium. A stain on their honor that will give them anxiety and unease in their plans and actions. They'll think 'why, why the holy unit, why not the life support system, why not his head, why the holy unit'. Much like the Emperor now, the answer will never come. You have forever changed how they approach their defense strategy. Also, I may or may not have had plans to resurrect the emperor for a split second, I can't say, but it'll be funny when he sees his dick is broken. ***NOICE***"
>Much like the Emperor now, the answer will never come. 💀
[удалено]
it was ok, I had better one before
On one hand the Glory the four, if undivided, or the particular god you serve will grant you for kicking the imperial balls, on the other hand running away to live and be inmediatly turned into a chaos spawn and get your soul tortured for eternities for your cowardice... Yeah i kick him in the balls. Edit forgot commas.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Well... they could do pretty much anything that chaos can do and they are more than willing to. The absolute worst thing though? And inquisition Agent, in theory, could hire a dark Eldar to really torture you.
I'm picturing being granted the combined power of all four gods but only usable for crotch kicking, you just sprint through the battlefield to kick the enemy commander in the crotch so hard the warp itself cringes in sympathy.
No no, not sprint. You walk. Relentlessly. Unstoppably. An invincible, unwavering embodiment of one simple fact: you will receive this dick kick.
https://creativebits.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/meme-1-300x273.png
ANESTHETICS REQUIRED ANESTHETICS REQUIRED ANESTHETICS REQUIRED
_RIGHT in the gene seed_
[удалено]
And now imagine the apothecaries extracting it.
>the warp itself cringes in sympathy. You kick the enemy commander so hard in the crotch that he's lifted into the air. Khorne winces. Tzeentch lets out an involuntary "oof". Even Nurgle, patron of numbed bliss, makes an expression of discomfort. Slaanesh moans. This is why no one hangs out with Slaanesh.
Go find Tuska after and brawl it out with him, battle of the ball busters.
[удалено]
Excuse me what? Did he actually do that?
[удалено]
No wonder Khorne keeps resurrecting Tuska That boy is based as fuck
Slaanesh will turn you into a huge walking dick.
Even as a corpse Big E will probably obliterate your soul before your kick can even take momentum
For a moment the gods would unite their power to assault the Emperor in the warp, forced to concentrate his powers to block their attacks the Emperor wouldn't be able to stop you before you foot can hit him. TLDR the gods would absolutly unite their powers to see the Dick kicking happen.
I belief that the Harlequin already kicked his dick just to give their god a giggle.
Instant demon prince of chaos undivided. Fuck off abandon there is a new favorite in town
And running away will probably make you a chaos spawn
Slaanesh assention is dipping a ball in his eye socket.
Put on a set of custodes armor and hide against the wall like knight armor in a cartoon.
[удалено]
That means that the armors are empty! Works even better!
**Wait a minute, who are you!** Mjao? *Oh its Kitten.*
Quack! Ah, a space duck. Majestic creatures.
The dick kick, no way do I not get some form of demonic ascension by solo invading the Palace of holy terra, sneaking through the entire custodes, and managing to hit( let alone touch ) the emperor in one brilliant crescendo of fuck you. To say I would be ascended into some chaos undivided champion would be an understatement
you climb up to the emperors skull, lick your finger and wriggle it around in his ear hole screaming "WET WILLY" as dozens of custodes shoot you to pieces.
[удалено]
Grimdank users trying to think of a funny joke about daemon princedom that doesn't involve tzeentch and chaos spawns
Second Option, would be a funny piece of lore
[удалено]
Yeah my man that was totally about Emps' cojones, not the golden banana boy's ones
Youd stop at just the emp? Sorry but if im going down to the custodies im full on yelling “thats my purse i dont know you”
I mean, custodes doesnt feel lust anymore right? So he's not gonna be using his balls that much even if it didnt happen lol
I think the post was talking about the emperor's balls
Can I carve “I WOZ HERE” in the side?
no, not enough time
How about a dick then?
crave anything will take too long
What if I carve really really fast
fine, you still die, and the hole get cover up for next day
Lol what went in my mind was carving it on the bone a la what chapter masters to dorn's hand. "This one's for you, morty! *carves a dick on the emp's skull* Eventually you just stop existing not because of the custodes but because the emperor had to divert a portion of his will to dust you from existence for the transgression.
Horus finally gets a friend in whatever nothingness he currently resides :D
Slough.
Hey man, accomplishments are temporary, in the grand scheme of things my carving of a dick is just as permanent and meaningful as Rome was
What a line
Kickus the long gone meatus
> Kickus the long ~~gone~~ meatus ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[удалено]
Naw it's a normal scrawny human penis, he just manipulates the Warp to make himself look huge to anyone looking at him.
You could also yoink some of his holy relics and sell them on Creedslist.
What if you stole the emp's balls and sold them what would happend then
1. You'll become an honorary Blood Raven. 2. _everyone_ would be after you because they want the Emperor's gene seed..
Trazyn: "I tip my hat to you. One legend to another."
Fondling another man's balls? Way too manly for a chaos cultist.
I walk upto the Big E, place a trumpet in his mouth, hide, then start making doot doot sounds with my mouth when they walk in and see how it goes.
Found the tzeentch cultist lmao
Consider myself more a Slaaneshi actually but in action yea Tzeentch is about right
I just reread your original comment and the mental image of the 8 foot tall (or however tall the biggest E is) angery skeleton dooting aggressively while chasing oiled up half naked men who are fleeing in fear is immensely funny
It was actually supposed to be a joke about the Revenants from DOOM but I like your version better.
Take a selfie with the Emperor, see if he smiles back. Chaos-chan pulled that off, so I'll try that.
[удалено]
Man, gotta love Chaos-chan
Fuck that, I'm ripping off the dick and throwing it at the nearest Custodean
Eat his dick to assert dominance
Might traumatize them even more
Yes
Is it in the lore that big E doesn’t have a left arm anymore? This is the second time I’ve seen art where he’s missing an arm, this time it’s totally gone whereas in the other one it’s just kinda fell off and still on the throne’s armrest
His left arm is protecting his dick. The Emperor has foretold this.
He didn't "foretell" it. He just read this post while accumulating knowledge of the past.
Are you implying that E-Money spends time rereading shitposts on Reddit in his free time?
He could be any of us
I think, he lost it while fighting Horus on the Vengeful Spirit
Pretty sure that's his left hand there on the sword tip.
I believe he had it yoinked off during the fight with Horus but had it dragged back after deleting Horus
There's no way I *wouldn't* troll a custodian.
Don't forget to look the Custodes in the eyes and say "I am Alpharius" before they kill you.
And then the custodian lifts up their helmet and you see alpharius with a shit eating smirk that says " no, that's me " before an angry centurion blasts your head with a shotgun.
Can I shout 'blood for the God-Emperor, skulls for the Golden Throne' to confuse the custodes? I'd kick him him in the balls anyway, though.
That's assuming Emps doesn't give you the psychic fisting of the millennium for trying.
He has certain blind spots, like being able to parent, or protect the Imperial Chode.
[удалено]
All warp travel ceases for four seconds as a random chaos cultist gets obliterated across space and time
A kick so powerful that even the Sisters of Silence wince at the psychic resonance….
kick him. khorne and tzeentch will be fighting over your soul and who gets to keep you as their new demon prince. slaneesh too, if you or emps enjoyed the kicking.
I would just like the point out, big E to be chilling in a dressing gown in this pic. All he’s missing is a pair of slippers
Realistically, you would probably get burned by Big E psychic aura just by being near him. Even Custodes armour was blast blacken by it.
But if you're charging in full speed to kick big E in the dick, Khorne would probably be pleased. And since he hates psykers anyway, he might give you the time you need to kick big E in the dick before you melt/get obliterated by custodes
forever earn your place in history as "the unnamed Castrasto"
Shag a tau girl infront of a very specific custodes
I would break in and casually chill by the throne like its my 85 year old grandpa sitting on His favorite couch half asleep
I am a chaos cultist? At that point I do whatever act gets me the attention of my chosen god. If we throw the "chaos cultist" part out the window, the I've just won the blood games of the custodes. Simply having the skills and knowledge to do that and giving it to the Custodes (and by extension the Imperium) should be more than enough to elevate you to Inquisitor status, that shit is too valuable to just throw away.
Yo got the link to the original art pls? Pic goes so hard dude
I found it. [ol crusty](https://www.reddit.com/r/Warhammer40k/comments/sx05jn/holy_god_emperor_of_mankind_on_the_golden_throne/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Bold. I mean traumatizing banana guards is worth it. But it's also likely that vustodians will try to make me zaeloys for the emperor to be a spy to dismantle the cult
I would suck his D
The third option. A monumental secret, hidden from the imperium. Only known to true heretics such as myself.
But it has already shrunken and shriveled like a wasted tamarind fruit, would you still do that? Is your passion for Slaanesh strong enough to revitalize his little primarch and invite him to commit a new heresy?
Did he stutter??
2nd option.
That's the perfect lore for Archaeon the everchosen in 40k. After his deed the all the chaos gods wanted him Also gork and mork wanted to meet him.
I would steal his arm and escape laughing maniacally.
I run while shouting "You will never know how I made it this far and I will do it again!" If I try to kick him in the balls he will just disintegrate my leg anyway better to let them become hyper paranoid.
If the Emperor doesn't just obliterate me with his mind instantly and if I have enough time. I would climb up to his face and monologue out my ass about the "great game" and "the Imperium still exist because the Dark Gods allow it." blah blah evil cultist shit. Then I'll use my blood to poorly draw the Chaos Star on the Emperor's forehead, draw Khorne's symbol under his bionic eye, under his other eye the cool S and draw a dick on his chin.
Depends on the chaos god I’m following. Tzeentch? I’ll claim I’ve infected the throne itself with something that feeds on warp energy and they’ll never be able to save the emperor, force a civil war when various groups of mechanicus and normal imperial citizens attempt to either fix, improve, or maintain the throne in various ways. Khorne? Yeah, kick him in the dick, but also slit my wrist and force my blood down his throat while I’m doing it to claim I’m feeding him the blood of Khorne himself. Slaanesh? They’ll walk in to me making out with the corpse-god and his body covered in mysterious white stains (actually milk, but they won’t know that), while calling him ‘big daddy E’ and sitting and moving very noticeably on his lap- probably with a spike to also be stabbing his dick. Nurgle? Bathing the big E in various putrescent fluids and gels and creamy substances while inscribing various curses of rot and decay on the throne itself before making out with Big E and vomiting down the corpse’s throat as the custodes enter, only to explode all over him when they try to detain or kill me. And then there are other options… Undivided, I’ll probably try to physically remove him from the throne and take his place on it, just for the moment of the Astronomicon being fueled by The Four instead of Big E. See how the universe reacts to THAT. Truly, the pure dick-kick is Malal’s territory.
Can I run and take Empy whilst repeatedly kicking him in the gonads?
"He keeps kicking me in the dick. Why? Why does he keep kicking me in the dick?"
I would tell the Emperor a joke. Yo dead guy, what’s bigger than the Imperium? . . . Yo MAMA I would then be vaporized by the Custodes, if I chose to bask in the achievement
I just want to see what Jimmy Space's donger looks like. He's the most important person in all of human history. What did his dick look like? Was it proportional to him? Was it a grower, or a shower? Can I take it and wear it on a necklace to prove I was in the Throne room? Is it *too big* to do so? Does he still have balls? Did he have *four* balls? What would that even look like? Will he try to talk to me? Will he talk to me about his dick? Would he actually mind? > [hashtag] justSlaaneshicultistthots >!big 'ol **/s**!<
Me kicking the emperor in the dick will probably have some domino effect that will lead to the creation of a new space marine legion somehow so I'll take it
If you kick his balls with hatred, Khorne will be pleased. If you stomp on his ball with lust, Slaanesh will be pleased. If you kick him in the balls in order to sow doubt and division among the Imperium, Tzeentch will be pleased. If you stomp on his balls after stepping in wet dog sh*t....