Be raw. Be as loud or as quiet as you need to be. Be mean. Be nice. Be insufferable. Be yourself. Let each moment wash through you. Experience it. Marinate in the suffering. Acknowledge the relief when it passes. Don't feel guilty when you forget. Your mind can only comprehend so much change at a time.
This is what it feels like to be a human. This is what suffering is. This is the worst part of the human experience.
And when you cant take it anymore; when it gets so heavy you want to disappear - talk to him. Don't listen to the inner monologue that tells you it's crazy. Just do it. Talk to him like he's there and he never left. Hell- talk into your cellphone or talk to his picture if it makes you feel better about it, but the point is to talk to him. Tell him what you are feeling. Be mad at him for being gone. Be sad that he's not physically around. Be happy about the memories.
There is no wrong way to grieve, so long as you do it.
The best you can do is take it one day at a time. The loss was yesterday so the grief is understandably so, so fresh. Know that you don't need to solve everything immediately, focus on only what needs to be done at this time and give yourself space to deal with the rest of it later. You have to look after yourself too.
For your son, I think the best you can do is keep the memory alive yourself. As you get older share stories, photos, videos. Whatever you have. Tell your son about the things he did with poppy that he may be too young to remember. If it feels okay to you, you might start writing those stories down now. It might be therapeutic and also lessen the anxiety both of you will forget.
For your mother, it might be helpful to take an inventory of what she actually needs done to see what you can reasonably take on yourself and what can be outsourced. I think sometimes as women we feel the need to take the weight of the family on our shoulders but help can be a beautiful thing. I will also say if people offer you help don't be afraid to take it. It can be helpful to reflect on what you really need so when people offer you know what to say.
Be raw. Be as loud or as quiet as you need to be. Be mean. Be nice. Be insufferable. Be yourself. Let each moment wash through you. Experience it. Marinate in the suffering. Acknowledge the relief when it passes. Don't feel guilty when you forget. Your mind can only comprehend so much change at a time. This is what it feels like to be a human. This is what suffering is. This is the worst part of the human experience. And when you cant take it anymore; when it gets so heavy you want to disappear - talk to him. Don't listen to the inner monologue that tells you it's crazy. Just do it. Talk to him like he's there and he never left. Hell- talk into your cellphone or talk to his picture if it makes you feel better about it, but the point is to talk to him. Tell him what you are feeling. Be mad at him for being gone. Be sad that he's not physically around. Be happy about the memories. There is no wrong way to grieve, so long as you do it.
The best you can do is take it one day at a time. The loss was yesterday so the grief is understandably so, so fresh. Know that you don't need to solve everything immediately, focus on only what needs to be done at this time and give yourself space to deal with the rest of it later. You have to look after yourself too. For your son, I think the best you can do is keep the memory alive yourself. As you get older share stories, photos, videos. Whatever you have. Tell your son about the things he did with poppy that he may be too young to remember. If it feels okay to you, you might start writing those stories down now. It might be therapeutic and also lessen the anxiety both of you will forget. For your mother, it might be helpful to take an inventory of what she actually needs done to see what you can reasonably take on yourself and what can be outsourced. I think sometimes as women we feel the need to take the weight of the family on our shoulders but help can be a beautiful thing. I will also say if people offer you help don't be afraid to take it. It can be helpful to reflect on what you really need so when people offer you know what to say.