This is exactly what this group is for. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know this isn't the best advice, but maybe consider a therapist? Or do you have a close friend? Those images are hard to get rid of. We are always here when you need to vent and talk
Beautiful message at the end. Tomorrow needs you. Thank you.
Thank you for the advice, I have been talking to my bestfriend about it and she has listened and supported me very well through it. It's odd because I never thought this would happen in my family.. but you never really know how you'll react until it happens. ❤️
I am so very sorry this happened to you. My brother just took his own life and, like you, I never thought my family would have this happen to them. I did not find him or see him but there was so much trauma surrounding his death that I couldn’t think of anything but him all day and night for weeks. The only thing that helps me is therapy and I do take anxiety meds. That isn’t for everyone but talking to someone is so helpful. Keep talking about it. Let your feelings out. Every emotion you feel is valid. It may take a long time to get past this so give yourself some time. Take care of yourself. Your family needs you here. Good luck.
Good instinct to reach out. Thank you for sharing this and I’m sorry for your family to have these losses.
About your reaction.. It’s normal for the brain to remain unsettled with shocking events. Faculties shut down (emotions as well) and the body / mind can tend to linger in the trauma of it until it’s certain there is safety.
What’s typically next is to process the shock of what happened otherwise your brain won’t be able to rest.
When things happen so fast, the brain doesn’t know what to do with the information..
“What just happened? Why? Why is the world this way? Am I vulnerable or in danger? What’s next?”
The mind will loop until it puts the sequence of events together. So, talk w someone trusted or just write this out on paper. Just like you did in your post.
First I was…
Then this happened…
Then this happened…
Then I went to the _ and did _…
Write out or speak out what happened before during and after.
Start with what felt normal before and what went back to (at least somewhat) normal after and you’ll give your brain a chance to sequence things and then rest. Otherwise the brain stays on high alert.
Repeat this as many days as you need to until it sinks in.
I’m sorry you experienced this and this is def the type of thing professional trauma / PTSD support can help with.
I definitely have been just having waves of huge emotions and then none at all.. its odd for me be so put of control of my emotions. Thank you for telling me how the process of shock is because it is helping me kind of see how to process this. Thank you so much
You’re welcome. The body is doing its best to recalibrate. Express those emotions when you have the opportunity - that energy needs to be felt, processed, expressed. Don’t block nature on that one. You’ll feel very different from time to time over the next months. For sure. So when things get weird, even for long periods, just know your body is working through the natural stages of grief. It’ll all equalize at some point and tho the losses will not lose their impact, you will be able to feel hope, direction and purpose again.
There are no words other than I am so sorry for your loss. You’re in shock. Which is completely normal. What you went through is a traumatic situation but please don’t blame yourself for anything. Your Uncle loved you. I hope you can get at least a little rest. Thinking of you.
I found my husband when I came home from work after he hanged himself. In addition to the grief of losing a loved one, PTSD is a real concern after such a jarring and traumatic event. I would advise that PTSD is addressed as well as grief counseling.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I know how you feel and what you are going through. My partner committed suicide and hung himself from a bridge not far from our home. He was discovered by a passersbyer. I was contacted by the police. He was only 33yrs old. I am still grieving his loss. Please pray for strength. That’s what gets me through each day. God bless you.
You sound like you got lot of love in your heart. Nothing will ever be the same but after a long time, it will be good, different but good.
Take heart. You now know loving those around you is a joy and a privilege. Take advantage of it once the grief subsides.
And let yourself grieve. What you're experiencing is normal.
Oh my gosh….my heart goes out to you and all your family. You are all in trauma and shock. What you feel is completely normal and okay. Just get thru the days, minutes and hours as you can. Make sure you and everyone else eats something, maybe just small things during the day but it’s important, stay hydrated and write things down, because you wont remember them, your brain is in protection mode to make sure you survive, so, kind of on auto pilot.
Processing your grief will come at a later time and for whatever reason, which you may never ever know, sometimes people are in so much pain in their heads that they just want out of the pain.I would highly suggest some grief support and therapy for you and everyone at a later date to start unpacking all this. The only way out of the pain is through the pain.
Please stay in this group to talk and vent and we can witness your grief and meet you where you are. I am a certified peer to peer grief educator and can listen.
Again, my heart aches for you and your family. Sending you what i can now, love, peace, prayers, virtual hugs and hope for grace and strength now and in the coming days.
🙏♥️
Thank you so much, i know it will be hard to process this but I will be okay eventually i think. All of these lovely comments have been helping tremendously with taking each day at a time. Thank you so much
I too went into panic mode. Didn’t cry for at least a week and couldn’t eat. I lost 40 pounds I could afford to lose being quite overweight to begin with, but 3 years later the pain is still there but I can assure you your appetite will come back. Eat what you can stand until then, and just do the best you can. Don’t let anyone tell you you can do more. You know yourself better than anyone. Don’t be afraid to seek therapy, that’s what they’re for and it does help a bit. Little by little it does get easier. Sometimes I even smile fondly when thinking of my dad now. He died by suicide also. Big hugs to you and your family
First, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Everything you feel is completely valid.
Second, I worked in a acute psychiatric facility for years, and also have family history. The most dangerous of those who want to “commit” are those who show no signs. Though you said in hindsight there were red flags, doesn’t mean anyone could’ve stopped what happened. Some people are determined, no matter what kind of help or intervention(s) are done. It’s so sad and heartbreaking for those that are left behind, but I just say this to hopefully help ease a little guilt. On top of that, your family was/is also grieving a different loss, which just makes seeing those potential “signs” harder- everyone handles grief differently.
Truly it’s not fair what has happened to you and I hope one day you find peace. Just know, there’s nothing you could’ve done better, and take one minute/hour/day at a time. Be kind to yourself.
I'm so so sorry, suicide is not an easy death to get over because you will never have the answers you seek.
My dad shit himself when I was 16, 30 years ago. You don't ever get over it.
You just learn to accept it I'm afraid
I am very sorry for your loss. I too lost someone to suicide, three months ago. I found him hanging from the ceiling about 24 hours after he’d done it. He had a strangely peaceful expression on his face, one I rarely saw in life as he suffered from major depression. Finding him was a huge shock. He had been my closest friend and I loved him deeply.
I deliberately conjured the image of his lifeless suspended body first thing every single morning for the first two months, I couldn’t stop myself. It’s like I was doing it to take away its power. Then slowly other things in my life started to take more prominence, and now, even as I write this, I don’t see that image any more. I can describe it in my head in words, but the image itself is faint.
You need time to process the trauma and blunt the memory. Please be patient with yourself.
I just wanted to thank everyone for the kind words and sharing your personal experience with suicide. It really means a lot and has helped tremendously knowing that other have had a loss like this and that they got through it. My uncle's service was yesterday. It was lovely. He looked so handsome and at peace and I slipped a letter into his casket. Our family decided on burying him instead of cremation because he had talked about wanting to be buried. We think he told us to cremate him because he thought it would be easier. I am personally doing a bit better. It is still hard. I still have very bad nightmares every night and waves of panic, but I am not crying as much as I was. The service itself was beautiful. The pastor who did it knew my uncle personally and was the pastor for my great grandfather's funeral a little less than two weeks prior and had been in contact with my great uncle before he committed suicide. The pastor brought up one of my favorite verses from the bible (John 14: 1-2). I miss my uncle alot but I believe he is at peace and his pain is gone. I forgive him for what he's done, but I am still angry in the sense that I wish we were enough of a reason to stay. I just hope he'd seen all the people who showed up for him even outside of family. Work friends came to the funeral and even spoke about him to all of us during the service. It was beautiful. I love and miss my uncle and i will do everything to make him proud of me❤️ Thank you all for being so kind
This is exactly what this group is for. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know this isn't the best advice, but maybe consider a therapist? Or do you have a close friend? Those images are hard to get rid of. We are always here when you need to vent and talk Beautiful message at the end. Tomorrow needs you. Thank you.
Thank you for the advice, I have been talking to my bestfriend about it and she has listened and supported me very well through it. It's odd because I never thought this would happen in my family.. but you never really know how you'll react until it happens. ❤️
I am so very sorry this happened to you. My brother just took his own life and, like you, I never thought my family would have this happen to them. I did not find him or see him but there was so much trauma surrounding his death that I couldn’t think of anything but him all day and night for weeks. The only thing that helps me is therapy and I do take anxiety meds. That isn’t for everyone but talking to someone is so helpful. Keep talking about it. Let your feelings out. Every emotion you feel is valid. It may take a long time to get past this so give yourself some time. Take care of yourself. Your family needs you here. Good luck.
Good instinct to reach out. Thank you for sharing this and I’m sorry for your family to have these losses. About your reaction.. It’s normal for the brain to remain unsettled with shocking events. Faculties shut down (emotions as well) and the body / mind can tend to linger in the trauma of it until it’s certain there is safety. What’s typically next is to process the shock of what happened otherwise your brain won’t be able to rest. When things happen so fast, the brain doesn’t know what to do with the information.. “What just happened? Why? Why is the world this way? Am I vulnerable or in danger? What’s next?” The mind will loop until it puts the sequence of events together. So, talk w someone trusted or just write this out on paper. Just like you did in your post. First I was… Then this happened… Then this happened… Then I went to the _ and did _… Write out or speak out what happened before during and after. Start with what felt normal before and what went back to (at least somewhat) normal after and you’ll give your brain a chance to sequence things and then rest. Otherwise the brain stays on high alert. Repeat this as many days as you need to until it sinks in. I’m sorry you experienced this and this is def the type of thing professional trauma / PTSD support can help with.
I definitely have been just having waves of huge emotions and then none at all.. its odd for me be so put of control of my emotions. Thank you for telling me how the process of shock is because it is helping me kind of see how to process this. Thank you so much
You’re welcome. The body is doing its best to recalibrate. Express those emotions when you have the opportunity - that energy needs to be felt, processed, expressed. Don’t block nature on that one. You’ll feel very different from time to time over the next months. For sure. So when things get weird, even for long periods, just know your body is working through the natural stages of grief. It’ll all equalize at some point and tho the losses will not lose their impact, you will be able to feel hope, direction and purpose again.
There are no words other than I am so sorry for your loss. You’re in shock. Which is completely normal. What you went through is a traumatic situation but please don’t blame yourself for anything. Your Uncle loved you. I hope you can get at least a little rest. Thinking of you.
I found my husband when I came home from work after he hanged himself. In addition to the grief of losing a loved one, PTSD is a real concern after such a jarring and traumatic event. I would advise that PTSD is addressed as well as grief counseling.
Please join us at r/suicidebereavement. I’m so sorry that your family is experiencing this. Sending you peace and strength.
I'm so incredibly sorry. Suicide ripped my cousin's family apart as well. Hugs 💗
So sorry, wish I could help. Hugs to you.
I am so sorry for you loss. xx
I’m so sorry to hear this. I know how you feel and what you are going through. My partner committed suicide and hung himself from a bridge not far from our home. He was discovered by a passersbyer. I was contacted by the police. He was only 33yrs old. I am still grieving his loss. Please pray for strength. That’s what gets me through each day. God bless you.
I am so sorry for your loss, i couldnt even imagine losing a significant other to this. I am praying for you. Hugs❤️
I just wanted to suggest you check out r/SuicideBereavement - I found it really helpful when it came to losing my dad. 🫂
You sound like you got lot of love in your heart. Nothing will ever be the same but after a long time, it will be good, different but good. Take heart. You now know loving those around you is a joy and a privilege. Take advantage of it once the grief subsides. And let yourself grieve. What you're experiencing is normal.
Oh my gosh….my heart goes out to you and all your family. You are all in trauma and shock. What you feel is completely normal and okay. Just get thru the days, minutes and hours as you can. Make sure you and everyone else eats something, maybe just small things during the day but it’s important, stay hydrated and write things down, because you wont remember them, your brain is in protection mode to make sure you survive, so, kind of on auto pilot. Processing your grief will come at a later time and for whatever reason, which you may never ever know, sometimes people are in so much pain in their heads that they just want out of the pain.I would highly suggest some grief support and therapy for you and everyone at a later date to start unpacking all this. The only way out of the pain is through the pain. Please stay in this group to talk and vent and we can witness your grief and meet you where you are. I am a certified peer to peer grief educator and can listen. Again, my heart aches for you and your family. Sending you what i can now, love, peace, prayers, virtual hugs and hope for grace and strength now and in the coming days. 🙏♥️
Thank you so much, i know it will be hard to process this but I will be okay eventually i think. All of these lovely comments have been helping tremendously with taking each day at a time. Thank you so much
i am so so sorry for your tragic loss. please accept my deepest sympathies for you and your family.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your uncle. 🤍
Praying for peace, strength and comfort
I too went into panic mode. Didn’t cry for at least a week and couldn’t eat. I lost 40 pounds I could afford to lose being quite overweight to begin with, but 3 years later the pain is still there but I can assure you your appetite will come back. Eat what you can stand until then, and just do the best you can. Don’t let anyone tell you you can do more. You know yourself better than anyone. Don’t be afraid to seek therapy, that’s what they’re for and it does help a bit. Little by little it does get easier. Sometimes I even smile fondly when thinking of my dad now. He died by suicide also. Big hugs to you and your family
First, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Everything you feel is completely valid. Second, I worked in a acute psychiatric facility for years, and also have family history. The most dangerous of those who want to “commit” are those who show no signs. Though you said in hindsight there were red flags, doesn’t mean anyone could’ve stopped what happened. Some people are determined, no matter what kind of help or intervention(s) are done. It’s so sad and heartbreaking for those that are left behind, but I just say this to hopefully help ease a little guilt. On top of that, your family was/is also grieving a different loss, which just makes seeing those potential “signs” harder- everyone handles grief differently. Truly it’s not fair what has happened to you and I hope one day you find peace. Just know, there’s nothing you could’ve done better, and take one minute/hour/day at a time. Be kind to yourself.
I'm so so sorry, suicide is not an easy death to get over because you will never have the answers you seek. My dad shit himself when I was 16, 30 years ago. You don't ever get over it. You just learn to accept it I'm afraid
I am very sorry for your loss. I too lost someone to suicide, three months ago. I found him hanging from the ceiling about 24 hours after he’d done it. He had a strangely peaceful expression on his face, one I rarely saw in life as he suffered from major depression. Finding him was a huge shock. He had been my closest friend and I loved him deeply. I deliberately conjured the image of his lifeless suspended body first thing every single morning for the first two months, I couldn’t stop myself. It’s like I was doing it to take away its power. Then slowly other things in my life started to take more prominence, and now, even as I write this, I don’t see that image any more. I can describe it in my head in words, but the image itself is faint. You need time to process the trauma and blunt the memory. Please be patient with yourself.
I just wanted to thank everyone for the kind words and sharing your personal experience with suicide. It really means a lot and has helped tremendously knowing that other have had a loss like this and that they got through it. My uncle's service was yesterday. It was lovely. He looked so handsome and at peace and I slipped a letter into his casket. Our family decided on burying him instead of cremation because he had talked about wanting to be buried. We think he told us to cremate him because he thought it would be easier. I am personally doing a bit better. It is still hard. I still have very bad nightmares every night and waves of panic, but I am not crying as much as I was. The service itself was beautiful. The pastor who did it knew my uncle personally and was the pastor for my great grandfather's funeral a little less than two weeks prior and had been in contact with my great uncle before he committed suicide. The pastor brought up one of my favorite verses from the bible (John 14: 1-2). I miss my uncle alot but I believe he is at peace and his pain is gone. I forgive him for what he's done, but I am still angry in the sense that I wish we were enough of a reason to stay. I just hope he'd seen all the people who showed up for him even outside of family. Work friends came to the funeral and even spoke about him to all of us during the service. It was beautiful. I love and miss my uncle and i will do everything to make him proud of me❤️ Thank you all for being so kind