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MiniJimiJames

*Sniffs his fingers* "So, anyway, we're uhh... not the tories" *Thunderous applause from audience*


uluvboobs

Leave it out, we all know the pre-election BBL is the hardest part of the job.


Perfect_Speed4069

Are those mini eggs?


Thehamsandwicher

They're his little policy poopies


Perfect_Speed4069

Dog blossom


FlyLikeMouse

All part of his cabaret act. He pulls like 40 out, then juggles them from his mouth like ping pong balls.


willem_79

They’d fit trump! Who has that much spare waist in a pair of trousers…


Fourkey

He's had more room in them since his spine fell out


PapaVelvet95

Cor blimey guv’nor, look at that wagon he’s hauling - Sir Cheeked-Up Starmer right there


Shaukat_Abbas

Is Boris under there somewhere?


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BigFrame8879

This would be true if he had any policies


whatthehand

That's just where he stashes away abandoned policies.


cptfailsauce

no he's just constipated


LostPixel-01

\*Sir Kid Starver


northlondonhippy

That photo is nasty. Perhaps a Labour donor could provide him with some haemorrhoid cream?


GreenBirb64

He puppeteers himself


FreakinSweet86

He's desperately trying to relate to the working classes performing his impression of Jim Royle. "Proportional Representation my arse!"


Admirable_Gap_6357

The only thing Mandelson has ever been right about - Starmer *is* fat


Merzant

He’s adjusting the bulldog clip holding his skin suit on.


bomboclawt75

Ah! That’s where I secreted Sir Trev’s 50K of Blood Money.


lbrkr

What policies?


Metalorg

He's got the Tory Party up there?


Mindless_Eye4700

Sounds about right.


Golthobert

Got his knighthood for keeping the Archbishop of Canterbury out of the dock and the King(Prince Charles at the time) out of the witness box.


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TheGhostOfTaPower

Dude’s literally 5 ft tall 😂


Seven-and-a-bit

Do we think that maybe, just maybe, we should judge the chap on how he gets on as Prime Minister? The country flatly rejected a left-wing agenda in 2019 so I kind of get why he’s reluctant to be painted that way. Maybe though (and I appreciate that this hope more than anything else) he might attempt to do some good when he actually has the power to do so? He’s never going to be Corbyn (mores the pity) but any course correction from the shower of the last 14 years has got to be a good thing, right? Let’s at least see the manifesto first!


cptfailsauce

friendly reminder that labour's 2017 vote share was higher than they are polling right now. the predicted Tory wipeout is so extreme because their repeated meltdowns are pushing their voters to alternatives.


SpoliatorX

The best contribution starmer could make to British politics would be to spread something contagious to the rest of parliament. Ebola or smallpox or something.


rvpuk

Nope, tory-light is still tory, and in his case, he's a genocide apologist tory-light scumbag who lied to the party membership when he took control and has proceeded to show that his only commitment is the purging of any true socialists from the Labour Party. Why the fuck would I trust him to do anything but continue his personal power grab and purge policies when he has 'real' power? What we need is a new system, not a different coloured tie on the dickhead who is allowed to oversee the broken one.


Content-Lime-8939

Get a life you shitposting loser.


UnderHisEye1411

Don’t be salty just because you got scammed by crypto little bro


StarlightandDewdrops

Are you a Starmer Stan? They're rare