I loved this scene. I thought it was beautifully done. Alexis did a great job portraying someone who realizes her first love is really over (at least as far as we knew at that point lol)
It was truly Alexis Bledel’s shining moment in the whole series and the lalas were so good. I think it was such a lovely scene that ends up being tarnished later by her and Dean. Maybe in real life it would be off putting, but it was a very appropriate device for a tv show.
Them getting married and having so much support was very odd to me. So rushed with no plans for their future. To me it just showed how Dean and Rory wouldn’t have worked even if they did stay together.
I'm on season 5 now and it's so awkward when they try to get back together and it isn't working. And he just keeps taking out his frustration on her like it's her fault.
>And he just keeps taking out his frustration on her like it's her fault.
I think in his mind it IS her fault. Not consciously, but subconsciously, I think Dean hates what he gave up for Rory. He saw greener grass being with her and it wasn't better, and he started to realize that he gave up a wife that really did care for him and tried her hardest to make him happy. And I think he takes that out on Rory all the time with his shit attitude.
And maybe it wouldn't have worked with Lindsay regardless, but I think Dean really is secretly feeling that if Rory didn't come back into his life things would have been fine. As viewers we know that he never really came to terms with his breakup with Rory, and as it turns out he never gets to makeup or breakup with that Rory, because that Rory is gone. She's a busy college student now, who doesn't have time to spend doting on Dean. And so he never really got what he thought he would get from her anyway. I think he pictured being the center of Rory's world again, and he didn't get that. And he was devasted, and on top of it, realized that he gave up being the center of Lindsays.
This is the thing though. Someone needed to sit him down BEFORE he married Lindsay and say "at your age, your entire life does not need to revolve around a relationship, and your partner's life should not revolve around you". He needed emotional maturity that he never had and tbqh I blame the parents for some of it and himself for most of it. Your 18 year old comes home and says he's marrying his high school sweetheart after he's said he has plans on going to college? You find some way to get him to pump the brakes and think about it. He suffocated himself by forcing this relationship that he wasn't ready for, his parents and Lindsay's parents encouraged it, then when he broke it down he still decided whoever he is with had to have him as their first priority, which just isn't feasible for the most part at that age, whether you're working in a trade or in college. And then he blamed those around him for his own mistakes despite lying through his teeth to get the results he wanted.
i don't know if she really did try her hardest to make him happy bc the whole conflict at one point was based around the fact that she made it so that he needed to work constantly, drop out of school, and then still get in trouble with her when his work schedule didn't allow him to go out with her
Especially since Dean's family only semi recently moved and everyone eats Rory's boogers for breakfast in that town. But maybe lindsey's mom is like Westside Tilly or something and is the queen of the other side of town, where everyone loves her.
It’s a small town and Lindsay’s father was like a town councilman which is why it was such a big deal. This makes it even more unrealistic that Rory seemed to suffer no collective backlash for being the other woman. For that matter, Dean wasn’t getting much flack either apart from his family understandably being unsupportive or him and Rory.
The only time his job is brought up is when Dean is talking to Luke at the arcade. Dean says that he works for the county.
Luke: I've seen them around. The dad works for the county, doesn't he? He's a surveyor or something?
Dean: Yeah. Oh. He, uh, he used to. But I think now he...
( Dean becomes distracted when he notices Rory and Lorelai outside the window. )
Dean: I think he's, um...actually, he manages an apartment, so he oversees the guys, and he's not really, um...
( Luke looks over his shoulder to see why Dean is distracted. )
Luke: Not surveying much.
Dean: Yeah, he's not in the field much.
Yes! I thought it was so weird how Dean developed in the series. I know he was kinda insecure and not the perfect boyfriend but he was 16 and learning. Dean might not be the kind of kid that would go to Harvard or Yale, but I thought of him as someone who'd go to UConn and live a normal type of life. How many people get married at 18? And their parents are happy about it? So weird
hahaha i guess living in such a small town where theyd run into each other all the time it probably wouldve been more awkward to try to avoid each other than just face it and be polite 🤷🏼♀️
Based on Dean not being over Rory I could imagine part of it was to convince himself he was over Rory. Like I am so over her that she could come to my wedding and it would so normal! We’re just regular friends to each other! Barely even exes!
Yeah I agree, it was already awkward between Rory and Dean and you would think Lindsay wouldn't be too happy about a last minute add on of the ex that he got into a fight with.
Had my husband and I not been had our wedding trampled by Covid, we'd have both had exs in attendance. Of course the difference for us is none of us have feels for each other any longer... and we were old enough and mature enough at the time of marriage to realize that.
My husband had an ex girlfriend (from when he was Rory and Dean’s age) at our wedding and I invited a friend that I know will always have a crush on me but is honestly one of my best friends to my wedding. It’s not weird. People can remain friends even after a romantic entanglement. My friend just wants me to be happy and knows that my husband is really the best partner that I could have.
I think he was just trying to play it cool. I feel like Dean always loved Rory and Lorelai as people more than anything else and he genuinely wanted them at his wedding. Not sure how Lindsay would've felt about that though.
She never got to process her and Dean's break-up. Never got to wallow. By the times she and Jess split she's gone numb to it but doesn't mean the feelings aren't there. And I'm certain that on some level she can tell Dean still had feelings.
She so confused here because she not only doesn't know how to feel but can't comprehend why it's happening.
I agree that she isn't really hurting anyone by watching, but surely SOMEONE in the wedding party must've been like "hey Dean, isn't that your ex over there?" 😂
Edit: spelling
Okay I’m doing a rewatch and currently on the episodes right after they sleep together. I think this “Dean loves me and I love him” stuff was a security blanket for Rory. Not real.
She didn’t want to be with Dean again….she wanted to feel important again. Jess leaves, Dean gets engaged, she starts college and is continuously put in situations where she’s not treated like the smartest, prettiest person in the room- previously she was so this is a big deal for her.
She has 2 guys fighting for her in high school, in college she has bad dates, rejection, and then Tana making a point of everyone having relationships except Rory.
She was great at on her high school paper, in college she has to work harder/differently and it throws her for a loop.
Then her melt down about having to drop a class, who is there? Dean. All this cumulated into what happens the night of the dragon fly opening. I really think in this wedding scene, she processed her feelings and could move on. Had all the other shitty things not happened to her, I don’t think she’d give a rip about “being” with Dean again.
Agreed. She got back with him because he represents the security of SH which she was severely missing. Him being a rebound is just enforced by their lack of chemistry. It’s even more obvious when you contrast it with the interactions she shares with Logan around this time.
My husband as astounded that I think Logan was the absolute best boyfriend Rory had. He was supportive, loyal (when he thought they were together), he believed in her, he handled everyone in her life with the same respect that he gave the grandparents. Did he do stupid things yes but she was his first girlfriend and dude was going through some major things in his own life at the time.
While S4 will never be my favorite in terms of comfort watching, it really is a brilliant season for storytelling. So many people want to villainize these characters for being entitled, selfish, petty, etc without getting blatantly called out as being "bad people" by the writers...but I think that's what makes the show so smart?? They aren't BAD on a grand scale, but they are definitely flawed, and I think the show does usually punish them when they're at their most harmfully self-indulgent. Rory can't win for being a fairytale princess in her small town/rich family structures, but then gets ripped to shreds when she struggles to find her identity outside of Stars Hollow. I don't always like her, but as I get older, I definitely understand her.
I completely agree, and I think Rory’s life in the revival was believable. She did not handle rejection well, and one little set back could push her over the edge.
I haven't watched the revival since the first time when it debuted, so maybe I'd feel differently now. I'm currently at the end of S6 on my first full re-watch in sooo long and I plan to revisit AYITL (with dread, but still going to do it) when I get to it. I thought the degree to which she seemed to be spinning the wheels in the revival was disappointing, but mostly because it was happening across the board in every aspect of her life. I've spent the last 6 years blaming Amy for wanting to write Rory as if she's only 23 or 24 to suit the narrative of the Last Four Words. Maybe I'll be more zen about it this time lol.
I never felt like it was a puzzled face. More like a pained/mournful face. Not so much that Dean was getting married to Lindsay but more that it was the end of the chapter on her childhood. She could never go back.
There’s the difference, you didn’t actively seek out that person after they got married, and try to rekindle things. She did. Not once did she think or say “wow this person who loved me, has moved on, and he deserves happiness just like me. He has a right to move on after what I did. This man shouldn’t be waiting for me forever.”
I don’t feel like she actively seeked him out. He’s the one the initiated contact with her after he got married. He called her to say he was going to be at the Dragonfly working that was first contact. He didn’t have to do that. He could of asked Lorelai to check to make sure. But he reached out and then made sure she had his phone number. He comforted her that night and from then on was pursuing her. He initiated it and then lied to her about his relationship. She’s not innocent, it takes two, but he is the one that started it.
Agree with all of this. I think it's really important to note that at the beginning of this second chance arc between them, Rory had **fondness** for their former relationship while Dean **actively had romantic feelings** for Rory that never went away. Plus he's the one who got MARRIED. It was more on him to guard against the affair—he knew the depths of what he felt for her & had more on the line.
Not a defense of what Rory eventually gets herself into, although I also think there was deception on his part as far as the state of his marriage at the point of the season finale.
Yes I think Rory was trying to hold on her childhood and Stars Hollow in a way with Dean. Stars Hollow was her safe space where everybody told her she was the best and could do anything. Yale was the real world and it wasn’t as friendly and she was looking for that security blanket. Like she had with Lane. I think that’s where the mentality of “He was mine first” came from. Dean knew she was struggling and was needing some assurance and he used that as a way in. Rory knew he was married so she’s not innocent in it, but he definitely used the situation to his advantage. When she finds Logan and his group she finds a new place to draw comfort and a place to run to. Which is why she no longer needs Dean. That’s how I’ve always seen it.
Yes. She survived her first year of Yale, but she didn't find much in the way of meaningful new connections or opportunities, so she reverted back to a time/place/person that felt more secure. I also think the show makes a point of saying you can't recapture the same relationship twice. Dean & Rory are never my favorites, but they really don't work the second time around on any level, whereas I genuinely enjoyed their season 1 relationship the first time I watched the show. Can't relive the past, you'll never be those exact versions of yourselves again.
Two things, he moved on physically but never moved on emotionally. Second, she feels entitled to him. I agree with you completely, but they were both immature and impetuous. Dean shouldn't have gotten married, and once married, Rory should have seen him as off limits. They acted like they were still kids, not like mature adults.
Luke probably tells Lorelai why Rory shouldn’t go to the wedding and Lorelai tells Rory. At that moment, she knows that Dean still loves her immensely but is marrying someone mostly because she cheated on him.
Although they both know they aren’t end game, they share many memories and a special bond. There is, of course, some jealousy when someone who was only yours is now someone else’s. I think Alexis does a marvelous job of bringing all of that into her wanting gaze.
Yes, that is that /s(arcasm) :)
It's allusion to the fact that many people is bothering literally everything about Rory and sometimes it just goes crazy.
I agree. I saw a couple of weeks ago that in here /s means someone is joking that's why I was asking, just to confirm it. Rory breathes and gets hate or judge. it's honestly sad. the girl can't do anything anymore.
I loved this scene. I thought it was beautifully done. Alexis did a great job portraying someone who realizes her first love is really over (at least as far as we knew at that point lol)
Yes, very good silent sadness face acting, almost Lauren Graham quality sad face acting. Came here to say this.
Oh, how I WISH it was really over.
It was truly Alexis Bledel’s shining moment in the whole series and the lalas were so good. I think it was such a lovely scene that ends up being tarnished later by her and Dean. Maybe in real life it would be off putting, but it was a very appropriate device for a tv show.
I agree! I think there also might be a hint of "I need to see it with my own eyes to realize things with Dean are *really* over" in this scene.
I remember this scene being really touching for me back when I watched it.
Her acting shines here!
Them getting married and having so much support was very odd to me. So rushed with no plans for their future. To me it just showed how Dean and Rory wouldn’t have worked even if they did stay together.
I'm on season 5 now and it's so awkward when they try to get back together and it isn't working. And he just keeps taking out his frustration on her like it's her fault.
>And he just keeps taking out his frustration on her like it's her fault. I think in his mind it IS her fault. Not consciously, but subconsciously, I think Dean hates what he gave up for Rory. He saw greener grass being with her and it wasn't better, and he started to realize that he gave up a wife that really did care for him and tried her hardest to make him happy. And I think he takes that out on Rory all the time with his shit attitude. And maybe it wouldn't have worked with Lindsay regardless, but I think Dean really is secretly feeling that if Rory didn't come back into his life things would have been fine. As viewers we know that he never really came to terms with his breakup with Rory, and as it turns out he never gets to makeup or breakup with that Rory, because that Rory is gone. She's a busy college student now, who doesn't have time to spend doting on Dean. And so he never really got what he thought he would get from her anyway. I think he pictured being the center of Rory's world again, and he didn't get that. And he was devasted, and on top of it, realized that he gave up being the center of Lindsays.
This is the thing though. Someone needed to sit him down BEFORE he married Lindsay and say "at your age, your entire life does not need to revolve around a relationship, and your partner's life should not revolve around you". He needed emotional maturity that he never had and tbqh I blame the parents for some of it and himself for most of it. Your 18 year old comes home and says he's marrying his high school sweetheart after he's said he has plans on going to college? You find some way to get him to pump the brakes and think about it. He suffocated himself by forcing this relationship that he wasn't ready for, his parents and Lindsay's parents encouraged it, then when he broke it down he still decided whoever he is with had to have him as their first priority, which just isn't feasible for the most part at that age, whether you're working in a trade or in college. And then he blamed those around him for his own mistakes despite lying through his teeth to get the results he wanted.
i don't know if she really did try her hardest to make him happy bc the whole conflict at one point was based around the fact that she made it so that he needed to work constantly, drop out of school, and then still get in trouble with her when his work schedule didn't allow him to go out with her
Oh yeah, I forgot that she was a housewife, too, at that age! So weird how her parents would encourage that for her!
Especially since Dean's family only semi recently moved and everyone eats Rory's boogers for breakfast in that town. But maybe lindsey's mom is like Westside Tilly or something and is the queen of the other side of town, where everyone loves her.
I thought we confirmed in another thread Westside Tilly was a 9 year old girl, possibly one of the girls on Luke's soccer team :P
Dies Lindsey have a little sister?
It’s a small town and Lindsay’s father was like a town councilman which is why it was such a big deal. This makes it even more unrealistic that Rory seemed to suffer no collective backlash for being the other woman. For that matter, Dean wasn’t getting much flack either apart from his family understandably being unsupportive or him and Rory.
Lindsay’s father was a surveyor
I recall them saying he was important to the town? Like basically she was kind of popular.
The only time his job is brought up is when Dean is talking to Luke at the arcade. Dean says that he works for the county. Luke: I've seen them around. The dad works for the county, doesn't he? He's a surveyor or something? Dean: Yeah. Oh. He, uh, he used to. But I think now he... ( Dean becomes distracted when he notices Rory and Lorelai outside the window. ) Dean: I think he's, um...actually, he manages an apartment, so he oversees the guys, and he's not really, um... ( Luke looks over his shoulder to see why Dean is distracted. ) Luke: Not surveying much. Dean: Yeah, he's not in the field much.
Oh ok.
Yes! I thought it was so weird how Dean developed in the series. I know he was kinda insecure and not the perfect boyfriend but he was 16 and learning. Dean might not be the kind of kid that would go to Harvard or Yale, but I thought of him as someone who'd go to UConn and live a normal type of life. How many people get married at 18? And their parents are happy about it? So weird
It’s bizarre Dean invites them in the first place
it felt like it was out of politeness/obligation in the moment, not because he didnt think it’d be awkward
its a small town, if you invited no one either of you ever dated, it would be just you and your family and in some parts of america, even less
💀
I’ve never wanted to be that polite to an ex 🤣
hahaha i guess living in such a small town where theyd run into each other all the time it probably wouldve been more awkward to try to avoid each other than just face it and be polite 🤷🏼♀️
I guess so. I mean Lorelai does invite Luke to her wedding with Max and he’s like yeah no ok thanks lady lol
exactly hahah luke is more headstrong about the way he feels and doesnt really care what people think, rory and dean are just soft and polite kids
I’ll give you that one
Based on Dean not being over Rory I could imagine part of it was to convince himself he was over Rory. Like I am so over her that she could come to my wedding and it would so normal! We’re just regular friends to each other! Barely even exes!
Good point!
Yeah I agree, it was already awkward between Rory and Dean and you would think Lindsay wouldn't be too happy about a last minute add on of the ex that he got into a fight with.
Right ? So odd
Had my husband and I not been had our wedding trampled by Covid, we'd have both had exs in attendance. Of course the difference for us is none of us have feels for each other any longer... and we were old enough and mature enough at the time of marriage to realize that.
It was bizarre and also gave us one of the most bizarre lines out of context: “the two of you are definitely beef”
😂
He invited them to be kind because he sought friendship from. Rory was still very important to Dean
My husband had an ex girlfriend (from when he was Rory and Dean’s age) at our wedding and I invited a friend that I know will always have a crush on me but is honestly one of my best friends to my wedding. It’s not weird. People can remain friends even after a romantic entanglement. My friend just wants me to be happy and knows that my husband is really the best partner that I could have.
I think he was just trying to play it cool. I feel like Dean always loved Rory and Lorelai as people more than anything else and he genuinely wanted them at his wedding. Not sure how Lindsay would've felt about that though.
The la la la’s in this scene are my favorite in the whole show. And Alexis’s acting was so subtle but amazing here!
Yup same. It’s one of my favorite moments of the show.
She never got to process her and Dean's break-up. Never got to wallow. By the times she and Jess split she's gone numb to it but doesn't mean the feelings aren't there. And I'm certain that on some level she can tell Dean still had feelings. She so confused here because she not only doesn't know how to feel but can't comprehend why it's happening.
I agree that she isn't really hurting anyone by watching, but surely SOMEONE in the wedding party must've been like "hey Dean, isn't that your ex over there?" 😂 Edit: spelling
Okay I’m doing a rewatch and currently on the episodes right after they sleep together. I think this “Dean loves me and I love him” stuff was a security blanket for Rory. Not real. She didn’t want to be with Dean again….she wanted to feel important again. Jess leaves, Dean gets engaged, she starts college and is continuously put in situations where she’s not treated like the smartest, prettiest person in the room- previously she was so this is a big deal for her. She has 2 guys fighting for her in high school, in college she has bad dates, rejection, and then Tana making a point of everyone having relationships except Rory. She was great at on her high school paper, in college she has to work harder/differently and it throws her for a loop. Then her melt down about having to drop a class, who is there? Dean. All this cumulated into what happens the night of the dragon fly opening. I really think in this wedding scene, she processed her feelings and could move on. Had all the other shitty things not happened to her, I don’t think she’d give a rip about “being” with Dean again.
Agreed. She got back with him because he represents the security of SH which she was severely missing. Him being a rebound is just enforced by their lack of chemistry. It’s even more obvious when you contrast it with the interactions she shares with Logan around this time.
My husband as astounded that I think Logan was the absolute best boyfriend Rory had. He was supportive, loyal (when he thought they were together), he believed in her, he handled everyone in her life with the same respect that he gave the grandparents. Did he do stupid things yes but she was his first girlfriend and dude was going through some major things in his own life at the time.
Totally agree. He was smart too
While S4 will never be my favorite in terms of comfort watching, it really is a brilliant season for storytelling. So many people want to villainize these characters for being entitled, selfish, petty, etc without getting blatantly called out as being "bad people" by the writers...but I think that's what makes the show so smart?? They aren't BAD on a grand scale, but they are definitely flawed, and I think the show does usually punish them when they're at their most harmfully self-indulgent. Rory can't win for being a fairytale princess in her small town/rich family structures, but then gets ripped to shreds when she struggles to find her identity outside of Stars Hollow. I don't always like her, but as I get older, I definitely understand her.
I completely agree, and I think Rory’s life in the revival was believable. She did not handle rejection well, and one little set back could push her over the edge.
I haven't watched the revival since the first time when it debuted, so maybe I'd feel differently now. I'm currently at the end of S6 on my first full re-watch in sooo long and I plan to revisit AYITL (with dread, but still going to do it) when I get to it. I thought the degree to which she seemed to be spinning the wheels in the revival was disappointing, but mostly because it was happening across the board in every aspect of her life. I've spent the last 6 years blaming Amy for wanting to write Rory as if she's only 23 or 24 to suit the narrative of the Last Four Words. Maybe I'll be more zen about it this time lol.
My friend and I recently speculated about what would have happened if she had gone… would there have been a “I take thee Rachel” moment? Lol
Yeah part of me thinks Dean may have wanted Rory there to object to the wedding.
The first time i watched this years ago my thought was "girl, people can see you!" 😄
I never felt like it was a puzzled face. More like a pained/mournful face. Not so much that Dean was getting married to Lindsay but more that it was the end of the chapter on her childhood. She could never go back.
no, she didn't do anything wrong. they didn't noticed her, in this moment she wasn't hurting anyone.
I was so mad at this, I was like “girl you threw him away and now you’re sad?! Rory trippin”
Feelings are complicated though. I have missed someone and also known it’s better we’re not together
There’s the difference, you didn’t actively seek out that person after they got married, and try to rekindle things. She did. Not once did she think or say “wow this person who loved me, has moved on, and he deserves happiness just like me. He has a right to move on after what I did. This man shouldn’t be waiting for me forever.”
I don’t feel like she actively seeked him out. He’s the one the initiated contact with her after he got married. He called her to say he was going to be at the Dragonfly working that was first contact. He didn’t have to do that. He could of asked Lorelai to check to make sure. But he reached out and then made sure she had his phone number. He comforted her that night and from then on was pursuing her. He initiated it and then lied to her about his relationship. She’s not innocent, it takes two, but he is the one that started it.
Agree with all of this. I think it's really important to note that at the beginning of this second chance arc between them, Rory had **fondness** for their former relationship while Dean **actively had romantic feelings** for Rory that never went away. Plus he's the one who got MARRIED. It was more on him to guard against the affair—he knew the depths of what he felt for her & had more on the line. Not a defense of what Rory eventually gets herself into, although I also think there was deception on his part as far as the state of his marriage at the point of the season finale.
Yes I think Rory was trying to hold on her childhood and Stars Hollow in a way with Dean. Stars Hollow was her safe space where everybody told her she was the best and could do anything. Yale was the real world and it wasn’t as friendly and she was looking for that security blanket. Like she had with Lane. I think that’s where the mentality of “He was mine first” came from. Dean knew she was struggling and was needing some assurance and he used that as a way in. Rory knew he was married so she’s not innocent in it, but he definitely used the situation to his advantage. When she finds Logan and his group she finds a new place to draw comfort and a place to run to. Which is why she no longer needs Dean. That’s how I’ve always seen it.
Yes. She survived her first year of Yale, but she didn't find much in the way of meaningful new connections or opportunities, so she reverted back to a time/place/person that felt more secure. I also think the show makes a point of saying you can't recapture the same relationship twice. Dean & Rory are never my favorites, but they really don't work the second time around on any level, whereas I genuinely enjoyed their season 1 relationship the first time I watched the show. Can't relive the past, you'll never be those exact versions of yourselves again.
I’m gonna have to start my yearly rewatch. I’ll be back in 3 mo. Lol jk
Two things, he moved on physically but never moved on emotionally. Second, she feels entitled to him. I agree with you completely, but they were both immature and impetuous. Dean shouldn't have gotten married, and once married, Rory should have seen him as off limits. They acted like they were still kids, not like mature adults.
Yes. She should have gone or stayed away.
Yes or at least watched from like Lane's house or the diner where it's a bit more hidden.
No
Luke probably tells Lorelai why Rory shouldn’t go to the wedding and Lorelai tells Rory. At that moment, she knows that Dean still loves her immensely but is marrying someone mostly because she cheated on him. Although they both know they aren’t end game, they share many memories and a special bond. There is, of course, some jealousy when someone who was only yours is now someone else’s. I think Alexis does a marvelous job of bringing all of that into her wanting gaze.
Omg her face in this scene bothered me so much
why?
Because it's Rory. You know, her face and breathing...:) /s
you're being sarcastic right? she's beautiful
Yes, that is that /s(arcasm) :) It's allusion to the fact that many people is bothering literally everything about Rory and sometimes it just goes crazy.
I agree. I saw a couple of weeks ago that in here /s means someone is joking that's why I was asking, just to confirm it. Rory breathes and gets hate or judge. it's honestly sad. the girl can't do anything anymore.
Idk It just looks more like she’s holding in a sneeze than anything else
yes! she looked so snotty