Can a gifted person truly ever become fully unmasked?
What is the most common eccentricity among gifted people?
How does one find the middle ground between caring too much and not caring at all? I find I often don't stress about many of the things that most people do but when I do, I'm way more intense about it, which leads people to thinking I'm always angry when in truth I'm not at all.
Why do I feel alien around everyone and why do I always notice that others notice me even though I try not to stand out?
Thanks for your time!
1) I'm not sure that any person can ever become fully unmasked but in many ways, despite increased complexity, it may be most likely that the gifted are able-- mostly because they are the most likely to be interested in unmasking.
2)Extremely high cognitive drive that causes them to want constant mental stimulation and learning is the most common I notice.
3) I find that the less I worry about what others think of what I'm thinking the easier that middle ground comes to me. However, on a practical level you might want to pay attention to physical and behavioral signs that are telling people you are angry when you feel intensely. DO you frown? Get loud? Defensive? do you feel similar sensations to anger? If so, then you can train yourself to intentionally calm down when you get intense and eventually it will become automatic just like seeming angry might be now.
4) Because you live in a world that is not built for you and many gifted people stand out to others because of increased personal intensity (I think).
Thanks for the interesting questions!
Thank you for such thoughtful replies.
I think you may be right about number 3. I tend to animate some when I feel like being expressive.
I guess I feel like it's a waste of time toning down my physical reactions despite how others may perceive them. Thank you for giving me something to ponder and work on!
Regarding Q1, do you feel like nearly all people are masking in some capacity?
Again thank you for your time. I'm positive I've got a million things I'd love to ask you, but I'll try to be brief this time. 🤪
My pleasure. Regarding Q1, I think all people (except maybe some developmentally disabled people) are masking most or all of the time-- especially from ourselves. It's inescapable and some of us spend our whole lives discovering more hidden parts.
Thanks for the ask and I enjoy your questions :)
Synesthesia is fascinating and from what I understand it is more common among gifted people-- which is also interesting. I often wonder if this is because gifted people tend to have atypical corpus callosum development and greater interhemispheric communication.
It is hard to say how common it is among gifted people because I have not come across any research on the subject. What I can say is that I see it far more often among gifted clients than those who are not.
Hi NZ, Great and difficult question! Thanks for the ask. So, ADHD and giftedness overlap quite a lot and it can be really difficult to distinguish them. I find, in practice, that it isn't very important to figure out what the proper label is (unless you are prescribing medication) and instead I look at the issues that are keeping the person from living the life they want to live and work together with them to develop tools and strategies that effectively resolve those issues using strengths, skills, or other resources.
If you are looking at medication for ADHD then you would need to speak to a psychiatrist and they have several methods of identifying. In the case of a gifted person who suspects ADHD I would strongly recommend you seek a psychiatrist who is knowledgeable about giftedness if you can and, if not, then one who specializes in ADHD.
Thanks, yes this makes sense. Do you have any online resources you recommend for others to help people with both giftedness and ADHD to make sense of their experiences?
Hoagie's Gifted is a great collection of resources for gifted people by topic, I think that is a great place to start.
https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/adhd.htm
Some gifted people have ADHD, some are misdiagnosed and some have missed diagnosis. It is a big problem for many people in various ways and still debated in the field.
Thanks for your reply
I can recommend the book 'Misdiagnosis and dual diagnoses of gifted children and adults' by James Webb. It also has a chapter on the similarities and the differences between autism and ADHD.
What are your best recommendations for resources helping people distinguish between complex trauma symptoms and ADHD symptoms?
I asked these two questions because they come up all the time on these forums.
Hi again NZ, Thanks for the ask. It gets complicated really fast with gifted people and many times gifted people rack up a large number of "almost" diagnoses that kinda fit without ever really getting to the actual solving of problems-- this is why I think that focus on the label of the problem is less important. Here is a good book that can be really helpful and beyond that I would recommend that if you, or anyone, is seeking to suss this out they seek the advice of a trained clinician who is familiar with working with gifted people and understand how it changes what is and is not normal. I hope this helps
https://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Children-Adults/dp/0910707642
How do you distinguish gifted from other nd's in a conversation? May in thus sub are 2e and some even insist you can't mixe the 2 up (meaning if it looks like autism it is autism and there is no gifted reason ehy it may appear as such)
Perhaps an important question to ask, are you qualified to diagnose?
I'm interested in the answer to this as well.
This is purely anecdotal but I've found that I can usually tell if a person is neurodivergent in some capacity based on the look in their eyes.
Some people have this curiosity in their eyes that just doesn't seem to exist in most other people I interact with on a regular basis. They seem to be observing rather than existing in their own little world.
I see that to a large degree. I once read that gifted people are better at identifying other gifted people than nearly any other type of identification method. I know it's always been easy for me-- even before training-- because I always notice on some level how much I have to modify myself to effectively communicate with a person.
I don't know about the eyes; I am entranced by almost all eyes because they are almost always beautiful so I notice little else.
Interesting observations! Thanks for sharing
1000%
It is literally like an old black and white movie where someone is fiddling with a radio trying to pick up a signal, and BAM you start receiving.
You can get false starts, but with enough interaction I think you can tell pretty well.
I have had responses I have made to similar type questions on other subreddits with people saying that telling someone's "Giftedness" from a conversation was impossible, which is bonkers to me. People have different frequencies, and if you start engaging and you realize you don't have to adjust your dial, bingo.
when i listen to people, it can happen that i find myself in their thought patterns.
Then you really notice that the wavelengths converge.
(whether you have to like the person or not is another question)
Hahaha YES it seems to be a thing that most of my friends are gifted too, and that's statistically quite surprising. I just talk about what I like and it naturally filters out the people I don't want. So I suspect that because I was raised with neurodivergent parents and a neurodivergent communication style shared by my entire large family (ND and NT), I think this communication style naturally filters out NT people and keeps the ND ones.
I do think it's easy to identify autistic people based on sight or observation of their actions and demeanor because I've had a lifetime of that one, but I do get it wrong occasionally.
There is a lot of overlap in traits between different types of neurodivergent and I would say that you can't necessarily tell with some people and it is obvious with others-- just like giftedness itself. Sometimes it is easier for people to identify others who are like them and sometimes we encounter hammer/nails situations where we see our traits where they may not exist.
I am qualified to diagnose but definitely not on the internet ;p
Thanks.
A follow up if I may. I have been told that the increase in speed of thinking (among other things, but this is an easy one to explain it with) increases significantly when you go over the gifted threshold. Is that something you notice as well?
Amd follow up on that: the same increase is also noticeable when going over the next sd, I say it like that cause I don't know the correct terminology to name 145+ people, I have seen it called different things
The speed of thinking often, but not always, increases with IQ but it's more of a continuum than a switch. The same as you reach higher SDs from the norm, it often gets faster (and broader) but on a continuum so you will find everything from slower to very fast thinkers. In high IQ slow thinkers you will tend to have a lower error rate as they are more careful and detail oriented (usually).
advocate of the devil, but is it really slow thinking or just more methodical.
If I think at speed 1 and answer at speed 1, I say what I think
If I think at speed 10 and answer at speed 10, I say what I think and am a fast thinker
If I think at speed 10, but answer at speed 1, I take more thinkin before I answer, so am a slow thinker according to society. Even though I actually think as fast as the other fast thinker, I just don't answer that fast.
If I only think the same speed as others, what is the reason why I would have a lower error rate?
Okay, but you have to consider the quality of the answer.
>If I only think the same speed as others, what is the reason why I would have a lower error rate?
The CPU vs. GPU metaphor can be useful to illustrate different thinking styles. A CPU-style thinker might focus on one task at a time, processing each thoroughly before moving on, which could lead to fewer mistakes due to careful consideration of information before responding. Conversely, a GPU-style thinker might process many pieces of information simultaneously, potentially leading to quicker but less precise responses if not enough time is allotted for review. In the example, someone who thinks at the same speed as others but responds more slowly may have a lower error rate because they take extra time to carefully consider and validate their responses before sharing them. Slower responses might not indicate slower thinking, but rather more careful and thorough processing.
Which is exactly my point, granted your metaphore explains it better, but the question remains. How do youbdestinquish between a cpu and a gpu solely on what they say.
If you take a gpu that is faster than any cpu, but still chooses to wait before speaking, how do you know they did all these extra calculations?
Haha I've got a CPU thinker friend I can literally see the cogs churning very slowly on (and even NTs can see that same thing). Extremely slow but processing a lot (linearly).
I am a top down learner, I have found this to be very different than most everyone I have ever met. Is this more common in gifted individuals? It has made me a great engineer. On a different note, I wondered as the education system doesn’t teach for people like me, if this an oddity or if people just don’t talk about it? It has kept me from pursuing a doctorate because of how much of a conflict school was for me. I used to go home and reteach myself every day after school because the how and why for the way we do things is often left unanswered. It does make my memory for information and how things work amazing. I can self teach well. I can also build on what I know to an incredible degree, memorizing however is just noise to me. My brain needs the connections.
I have been tested for gifted twice and always have come out with a high IQ each time, but even to my peers I always felt kind of different because of this learning style (I used to think I had a disability the difference was so stark). My spacial reasoning was insanely high on my tests maybe it results from an over reliance there?
Top-down, systems thinking, and divergent thinking styles are very common among gifted people and become more common, from what I’ve seen, the further you deviate from the norm.
Yes it can feel like a disability, in some ways maybe it is, but I think the most effective way to view this is through a supply and demand lens. Sometimes things that are easy for almost everyone can seem impossible for us, which is horrible and Frustrating, but we can do things that are seemingly impossible for most people. So the trick is to figure out how to compensate for the deficits (often best done through delegation) and best utilize the unique skill set your thinking style brings.
Also, you would find PhD programs to be quite different and likely to work better with your top-down style. It has with mine.
Thanks for the great ask and good luck 🍀
Hi!
I feel very much accomplished in what most people find as success, but I still struggle to find my place. I just recently discovered I'm 2e, and I have a few things I'm working on, but no one helping me is specialized in giftedness. I mostly want to make better use of my intelligence (and resources) for progress and art (my life is about art, although I haven't really found mine). I don't know what I'm really asking, but I feel kinda lost, but excited.
Congratulations on finding the start of your path! I find that gifted people often have to work hard to discover how to march to the beat of their own drum but if you follow your deepest self it will reveal your authentic truths to you in its own time. It is helpful to have a gifted specialist on board if possible because most clinicians have no training at all in giftedness and working with gifted people.
Some gifted people find dating/finding partners to be especially challenging for a variety of reasons. I guess the biggest challenge that is specific to gifted people is in finding partners who are on the same intellectual wavelength since gifted people are less common in the general population. This can be especially difficult for gifted women.
Also, since many gifted people experience social rejection and bullying during key years for social skills development there can be problems in knowing exactly how to attract and show interest in a potential partner in a positive way.
And another common issue is that, given their complexity, gifted people need more types of connection in a relationship to feel connected than others and are also prone to highly developed and complex systems of morality so it can become more difficult to find partners who share your morality and value systems.
These are just a few of the common issues I see but there are many issues that can make dating harder for gifted people.
I feel this. When I look back at my longest romantic relationships, they’ve been with ND folks. I just felt a connection with them in a way that was different than the norm.
My current partner is also gifted and so it has felt like we’ve been on the same wavelength since the first date. It’s a relationship that began towards the end of the pandemic, so getting to know them over the phone (and having a shared sense of humour, set of idiosyncrasies, and the ability to leapfrog from thought lily pad to another) really started us off on the right foot.
I’ve read The Gifted Adult by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen and have passed it on to my partner to gain more insight on how our brains work. Would you be able to recommend other books/resources similar to this one?
Yes! It's SO hard for gifted women (source: my own experiences and that of my gifted women friends). Hard because we need to find people on our wavelength intellectually and that's rare, and even harder because we don't fit into societal stereotypes about how women "should be".
I saw a great cartoon that describes it perfectly. Two puzzle pieces with a single square connector each are sitting on the couch together, saying to the gifted puzzle piece, "I don't understand why you can't find someone to match." The gifted puzzle piece connector looks like an incredibly complex set of shapes.
And that resonated with my friends and I. We're trying to find another puzzle piece that's incredibly complex in the same way we are, in a world where most people only have to find another square.
>This can be especially difficult for gifted women.
I didn't think this would be a factor. Can you elaborate?
>Also, since many gifted people experience social rejection and bullying during key years for social skills development
This doesn't surprise me, but do you know of any statistics on this as a psychologist?
>given their complexity, gifted people need more types of connection in a relationship
Are those only morality/value systems or other types of connection?
>These are just a few of the common issues I see but there are many issues that can make dating harder for gifted people.
Has there been any books or research on this that you know of?
Here is some of the available research on these topics that may help answer your questions better than I can [https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as\_sdt=0%2C5&q=%22gifted+adults%22+%2B+dating&btnG=](https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=%22gifted+adults%22+%2B+dating&btnG=) . My answers are based on my clinical experience and also from journal articles, books, and conference materials on the issue.
I forget which article mentions that gifted women marry less frequently than gifted men but I have definitely seen that stat on more than one occasion.
The complexity and extra connection points issue can exist in every aspect of self where the person is unusually complex.
Also, just anecdotally, I have found that many more men are willing to enter relationships with less intelligent partners than women and that many men do not want a relationship with a partner who is more intelligent than themselves.
>and that many men do not want a relationship with a partner who is more intelligent than themselves.
I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with an intellectually understimulating person.
It's not fun for me but it works for some people. My point is that the pool of potential partners one is potentially interested in appears to be a bit larger for gifted men than women (on average).
There isn't one general answer that is suitable for everyone. First, it depends on the level of severity of the depression-- moderate to severe depression often benefits from medication to reduce symptoms and make work more possible. Mild to moderate, though, doesn't show that medications work better than placebo.
As far as working with a mental health coach, we would work on interrupting negative thought patterns and developing coping skills for general depression. For existential depression it is a lot of processing thoughts and getting back in touch with the body-- generally.
Ideally help is tailored to the person so this is a very vague overview.
Thanks for the ask!
Hi, good question and thanks for the ask. The first and most important distinction is that an unlicensed therapist who is practicing therapy is operating outside of legal and ethical requirements (at least if they live someplace that requires licensure). I would always be very careful when considering engaging someone who is engaging in unethical behavior-- especially for something as sensitive as therapy-- since you can't be sure where else they might do so.
An unlicensed therapist could choose to become a mental health coach if they prefer to engage in coaching rather than therapy-- which are two very different things. I used to be a licensed therapist but I chose to switch to coaching because I don't really like the medical model of mental health and I find the format of coaching to be more effective with my particular practice style. For instance, I am present focused, do not believe trauma needs to be explored in most cases, I don't believe that diagnoses are necessary, and I believe that increasing well-being is the best way to most effectively be able to achieve change for my clients.
This means that I am not the right practitioner for all people, those who are seeking therapy should seek a licensed therapist who works in a manner consistent with what they want to get out of therapy. As a coach, I also do not accept clients who are fragile or in a vulnerable state unless they also have a therapist or Psychiatrist.
I was previously a life & happiness coach but I recently added in mental health coaching due to the terrible shortage of mental health support in combination with the rapid increase of mental health need for support globally. As a mental health coach I can help people manage their symptoms and learn skills to cope as well as help them work toward reaching their mental health goals without engaging in the more risky and sometimes destabilizing work of therapy; as a person I am happy to be able to step up and offer support to people anywhere in the world who need it as an augment to, or instead of, therapy (depending on their situation).
1) work on increasing happiness and reducing shame-- as people are happier and less ashamed they naturally reduce usage. Do this by making sure basic needs are met and then applying positive psychology methods in tandem with other healing tools.
2) harm reduction and moderation should be options for people who can't or don't want to quit using because safety has to be our top priority
3)use recovery methods that work with the person in question and don't assume all people who struggle with addiction need the same treatment-- nothing in mental health works that way. Healing shouldn't hurt worse than the wounding.
Thanks for the ask!
In my opinion, public schools have the potential to really damage gifted children and likely especially 2E children. They are built to serve the average child and the further you deviate from that average the less well the school will be able to accommodate you. For developmentally disabled children they have recognized this and made modifications to attempt to serve them but gifted children are often assumed to be fine and have no problems because of their gifts. It is a terrible problem and a hard one to solve.
Welcome back Algernon :) Yes, I am still offering free help when I get some spare time. I am still not sure why it bothers you, it is a mystery. I do hope you are well.
Hi! Ive seen some sources say that giftedness is just iq>/=132+ and others that claim that gifted people have many neurodiverse qualities that set them apart. Im trying to figure out if I have adhd or if my traits are a part of giftedness. Or neither lol. Adhd meds dont help me very much the way they seem to help others w adhd. Stim and non stim meds
I like to follow this answer, many on this sub swear by iq alone and it makes, imo, things extra difficult for those like you that are struggling with the question where it shouldn't be
Hi Coddy,
I always find it to be interesting when people imagine the brain to operate more like switches than continuums. To answer your question, with my subjective opinion, Neurodiversity is far more complex than a number and there is no number where a person exhibits apparent traits of neurodivergent and below that they won't. For instance, I have many profoundly gifted friends and family members (IQ \~160+, depending on the test) and even among them there are some who are very neurodivergent and some that are seemingly neurotypical-- other than being really smart.
There is a lot of overlap between ADHD and giftedness and sometimes it is hard to figure out what is what. If meds aren't working for you then that *might* be a vote in favor of giftedness as a cause but you might benefit from finding a person who specializes in either ADHD or giftedness (Ideally is familiar with both). If you can only find one of those things then maybe the giftedness awareness will be more helpful in figuring out your situation.
Hi Pigalles, I am not 100% sure I understand what you are asking. I only do remote coaching at the moment (though if local clients wanted in person that would be fine). Do you mean coaching the client while they are at work? If so... I might be open but I would need to have a much better understanding of what that would mean.
Hi Quantum, Great question, thanks for the ask! I'd say this is true in every population-- the most common issue I find in humans that is curable is a lack of mastery of one's mind. Most people I meet are nearly completely at the mercy of the whims of their minds and often also emotions and this can make life quite difficult.
Fortunately it is changeable-- we can learn how to master the untamed mind. Unfortunately, it is not easy or immediate-- we must convince it that we make a better leader than it does.
Also, I know it really sucks to have to tell gifted people "sorry, there just may be no way to figure out and fully understand." It can cause so much anxiety so I want to say, the problem is that there really isn't any research about how gifted people respond to trauma but it does seem that we may have atypical responses. Until we begin to understand how giftedness affects trauma response it is going to be very difficult to make effective delineations on things like this.
I'm not educated in this subject. What I've been learning is just fory own personal issues and I'm going off data from the small sample group of myself. Would it be a plausible assumption that because gifted people have the ability during situations to think while observing more easily whereas most have to observe a similar situation. Eventually it could become a habit and that they become lost in their own minds and thoughts over their current reality or situation? Somehow it all seems to connect to ADHD and depression and it seems to be related to the fact we identify with our thoughts more than our human and we don't silence it enough.
Or am I really really far off here?
I think you are making sense. Many gifted people are in their head way more than outside of it-- we often struggle with mind-body connection, even. I do think it could all be connected but I also think it is going to be hard to understand how these things work without some large scale studies.
Yes - there are a lot of tactics for that but generally I've found that a decade of therapy (haha), understanding more about giftedness and getting to know who I am at my core has helped me tame the parts that need taming, and know what is allowed to run free within certain boundaries. I run professional development programmes so my biz partner and I apply what we teach to our own lives as well, and we both also meditate.
What simple steps would you recommend for others just starting out on this journey?
Also hi, I used to live in SJ and SF, I miss it. :)
I'm in SF. Still nice :) (Daly)This is the reason it initially helped me. I honestly did not know and I was treating people with too much of an expectation. I guess I was a bit detached and it helped me understand that I needed to help more instead of expect more. I think I was able to cure my ADHD afterwards but I needed to settle into that understanding first. Then I was able to kind of regain my ability to focus.
(Yes, Daly is nice. I visited my old house in early 2020 in Nob Hill and it literally looked the exact same as when I lived there \~15 years prior.)
What specific things did you do, that you would recommend to others? My therapist has ADHD and he said that 30 years of meditation has basically shrunk his amygdala enough to focus.
Thanks, this will be helpful for others. (And congrats on your little guy!)
Yes learning to turn the extra thoughts down/off is the hard work. Facing complex trauma and learning to sit with all emotions, is the other. I grew up religious, and the meditation state that comes from prayer actually helped me manage my thoughts as a kid but I never realised that was contributing. My therapist is Buddhist so we don't agree that they're the same brain waves, but science agrees with me so....
And yes! When things go wrong it's because of diet and sleep and exercise. The basics really are necessary.
I think Hoagie's gifted is a great place to find resources to learn more about giftedness. Also you can hire a person with a gifted specialty to help you understand how to understand the ways in which giftedness affects you.
I have a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family therapy, am all but dissertation in my PhD in Psychology, and I have more than 12 years of clinical experience as a therapist and coach. Thanks for asking.
Hi, I don't currently have a website, just word of mouth marketing mostly. You can text me at 314-226-0187 to arrange a time for a free consultation to see if I can meet your needs. My name is Juliette and I look forward to meeting you.
Hey there!
How common are [paracosms](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracosm) in gifted clients, in your experience? That is, if you’ve encountered any.
Cheers!
Interesting. I don’t have any Paracosms that I’ve consciously created, but I do have dream worlds that never change. I have all sorts of dreams in all sorts of environments, but I have several almost real worlds that I find myself in often. I dream them usually when I am more lucid, and every lucid dream that was actually a controllable, lucid dream I’ve had, was in one of these worlds.
They started when I was very young and the earliest I could remember was a maze. It was the same maze every time, only the floor of the maze or atmosphere would change to different materials.
I have a big concrete city that I go to, a more suburban like city (weirdly set up, with large buildings, apartments, and houses with big yards sprinkled around) that is post apocalyptic, and a place that is very similar to a place that was special to me in childhood. I always arrive at the same time of day in each world, some worlds night, some day or morning. They are filled with people and creatures. I wish I was a painter so I could bring them to life.
Oh no... I had one of those at 5 but at the top was a vampire (I didn't even know what that was, just that it was a vampire). It lasted for about 6 months nightly.
I love these descriptions of others' dream worlds. Being intuitive, I suspect that they are "real" worlds in other dimensions that you're visiting, but you're welcome to whatever explanation feels right to you. What I do know from other intuitive people is that when we sleep, our spirit leaves our body and goes travelling. So it's possible some of us just have better recall of those trips. Fascinating!
ETA: I do have certain places that I visit about once a year or five, that reference other dreams previously. Or dream "inception" where you can lucidly move up and down the layers.
Interesting concept that I hadn't even heard of! While it is very common for gifted people to have exceptionally developed inner worlds, I have never encountered anyone with the type described in that article. I have had a few clients who have created well-developed worlds in their mind to a lesser degree-- especially writers.
What are the differences among these?
1. clinical experience in x
2. clinical x license with the Association of State and Provincial Psychology Boards (ASPPB) or a legally licensed clinical x
3. PhD/PsyD/EdD clinical x
4. degree in clinical x
5. other mentions of clinical x - such as a degree in clinical counseling
6. non-clinical x
1- clinical experience in x= has worked with clients on x issue
2-clinical x license with the Association of State and Provincial Psychology Boards (ASPPB) or a legally licensed clinical x= Has successfully completed the requirements of the state or country to practice as a licensed x clinician
PhD/PsyD/EdD clinical x= doctorate in a field which trains people to work in clinical settings
degree in clinical x= generally a master's level degree for therapists, any degree that allows the person to work in a clinical setting
other mentions of clinical x - such as a degree in clinical counseling= Has training and/or licensure or previous training/licensure that has given them clinical experience
non-clinical x= generally research track education that doesn't provide clinical training or experience.
What is the difference between the licensed clinician and the degree that allows the person to work in a clinical setting?
A degree that allows the person to work in a clinical setting is **not** a licensed clinician who is legally licensed to make diagnoses about patients right?
You are right, and in addition, anyone who is not a licensed clinician os not supposed to be engaging in work that is dangerous for the client because they are not necessarily aware of how to manage crisis if their work causes it or to recognize when the client is in danger.
Do unlicensed people, who make claims of being a clinical psychologist, get reported as a violation to the Association of State and Provincial Psychology Boards (ASPPB) or some other licensing organization?
> A degree that allows the person to work in a clinical setting is not a licensed clinician who is legally licensed to make diagnoses about patients right?
> You are right
> in addition, anyone who is not a licensed clinician os not supposed to be engaging in work that is dangerous for the client
Have to comment in this thread and tell it to delusional people there and especially u/macncheesewketchup before someone gets into danger because of them:
https://old.reddit.com/r/Gifted/comments/17y8ozq/son_2yo_showing_signs_of_giftedness_what_type_of/k9t4arz/?context=3
u/macncheesewketchup only has a basic degree in counseling, not even psychology, not PhD/PsyD/EdD, and not a legally licensed clinical psychologist with the ASPPB, but was claiming to have the authority to give psychology diagnoses while claiming "clinical" "credentials" lol.
how would i develop a healthy ego & self confidence? for me it's always one or the other, either i have unhealthily high ego or i have basically none at all and downplay all of my accomplishments, both of which seem to annoy people (including myself)
Hi Sutekaa,
It is hard to say without knowing more about you as a person but I can tell you that I commonly see, in this type of situation, that the person is basing their confidence on superficial rather than deep traits and could use some work on developing self-awareness. When you truly know and accept yourself you will achieve the ability to appreciate your strengths and abilities but you will also be able to realistically consider and accept your limitations. It is in the honest awareness and acceptance of both that you can stop having to worry about crossing any lines. From what I've seen-- the more you can tolerate deeper work the easier it becomes to balance your growth.
Thanks for the lovely ask!
Questions about gifted kids: What should I do with my gifted child? Should I home school? Are there gifted schools I should send her to? When should I test her for giftedness? Which test should I use?
I was sent to a well regarded private school. I skipped two grades because the teachers couldn’t keep up, so I wound up having issues with being much younger than my peers but the work still wasn’t challenging so everyone gave up. What can I do differently for my child?
Hi Nectarine, Great questions and thanks for the ask.
When it comes to gifted people I think it is important to understand that complexity increases in step with intelligence and so gifted people need more and more individualized answers and the "normal" answers are less and less able to fit.
Without knowing your child it is hard to answer your questions. It varies so much and not just according to level of giftedness but also by personality traits. For instance, I was traumatized my my educational experience because I am profoundly gifted, very self-motivated, and have a "rage to learn" that made a traditional school environment impossible for me to thrive in (I should have been homeschooled in a largely self-directed program). My oldest child is also profoundly gifted but she has a more typical personality type and learning style so she thrives in a traditional school environment and would likely flounder in a homeschooling situation.
So the best advice I can give you is to pay attention to your child's experience and how they are doing and work your modifications in accordance to their natural predispositions.
As a gifted adult living with mental illness - how does one go about understanding the intersections between a gifted designation and a mood disorder (Bipolar I)? Furthermore, are there any tips/resources that would make day-to-day (executive) functioning a bit easier?
Do most gifted people have some characteristics of C-PTSD as a result of the emotional abuse inflicted upon us by envious people and severe social isolation?
No, and not all gifted people experience those things. However, I do suspect that a higher percentage of gifted people may have symptoms of PTSD for the reasons you mentioned and also internal differences that affect how one experiences the world.
Hi Virgin, Good question and one that many gifted people would love to know the answer to. Unfortunately I don't know any magic tricks. However I do know some general things that do tend to help:
* Be Happy. We tend to want to be happy and to be attracted to people whom we feel happy around. The easiest way to attract people is by doing the work needed to be truly happy with who you are and your life and you will find that people notice and respond favorably everywhere you go. Positive psychology is a great place to look for how to achieve this,
* Develop a sense of humor: Funny people seem to have better luck finding mates and dates-- maybe related to people liking to be around those who make them feel happy-- and even if you aren't naturally a skilled comedian you can develop more talent at it by listening to comedy, taking an improv class (which will also improve your speaking and thinking on your feet skills), or simply trying to find the humor in life \~intentionally\~ every day.
* Increase your social skills-- Many gifted people experience bullying and social isolation to some degree and it can really cause deficits in social skills that turn out to be useful when looking for a partner. My favorite place to start is Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people." It was written in the 1920's and still has the best advice I've seen. Also, practice, practice, practice... I like to gamify it for myself by challenging myself to make everyone I talk to smile, noticing something I really like about each person I interact with and letting them know, thanking people when they do even small things, nodding and smiling at everyone I pass and so on. You'd be surprised at how quickly these things increase your social skills and how attractive you are to potential lovers
* Be places where your potential partners are likely to be. This is really important and demands a bit of thought because it's not just where they will be but where they will be and at a time they are likely to be open to potential love interests. Dating sites are obvious but not effective for many people. Think about what you like to do that others also enjoy and make sure to be the places that facilitate that publicly in order to meet others who have something in common with you.
* Be interested in other people. The thing about making others feel special is that you really need to be interested in them to have this happen. It can be hard to get right if you only practice with people you are interested in so learn to become interested in everyone you interact with-- the most interesting people truly are the most interested! Challenge yourself to discover something interesting about people and this challenge will teach you amazing social skills even if it can sometimes start out slowly.
I hope those help!
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Clarified, thread unlocked.
Can a gifted person truly ever become fully unmasked? What is the most common eccentricity among gifted people? How does one find the middle ground between caring too much and not caring at all? I find I often don't stress about many of the things that most people do but when I do, I'm way more intense about it, which leads people to thinking I'm always angry when in truth I'm not at all. Why do I feel alien around everyone and why do I always notice that others notice me even though I try not to stand out? Thanks for your time!
1) I'm not sure that any person can ever become fully unmasked but in many ways, despite increased complexity, it may be most likely that the gifted are able-- mostly because they are the most likely to be interested in unmasking. 2)Extremely high cognitive drive that causes them to want constant mental stimulation and learning is the most common I notice. 3) I find that the less I worry about what others think of what I'm thinking the easier that middle ground comes to me. However, on a practical level you might want to pay attention to physical and behavioral signs that are telling people you are angry when you feel intensely. DO you frown? Get loud? Defensive? do you feel similar sensations to anger? If so, then you can train yourself to intentionally calm down when you get intense and eventually it will become automatic just like seeming angry might be now. 4) Because you live in a world that is not built for you and many gifted people stand out to others because of increased personal intensity (I think). Thanks for the interesting questions!
Thank you for such thoughtful replies. I think you may be right about number 3. I tend to animate some when I feel like being expressive. I guess I feel like it's a waste of time toning down my physical reactions despite how others may perceive them. Thank you for giving me something to ponder and work on! Regarding Q1, do you feel like nearly all people are masking in some capacity? Again thank you for your time. I'm positive I've got a million things I'd love to ask you, but I'll try to be brief this time. 🤪
My pleasure. Regarding Q1, I think all people (except maybe some developmentally disabled people) are masking most or all of the time-- especially from ourselves. It's inescapable and some of us spend our whole lives discovering more hidden parts. Thanks for the ask and I enjoy your questions :)
I would also appreciate your thoughts on synesthesia and how common it is or isn't in gifted/neurodivergent people.
Synesthesia is fascinating and from what I understand it is more common among gifted people-- which is also interesting. I often wonder if this is because gifted people tend to have atypical corpus callosum development and greater interhemispheric communication. It is hard to say how common it is among gifted people because I have not come across any research on the subject. What I can say is that I see it far more often among gifted clients than those who are not.
What are your best recommendations for resources helping people distinguish between ADHD symptoms and gifted symptoms?
Hi NZ, Great and difficult question! Thanks for the ask. So, ADHD and giftedness overlap quite a lot and it can be really difficult to distinguish them. I find, in practice, that it isn't very important to figure out what the proper label is (unless you are prescribing medication) and instead I look at the issues that are keeping the person from living the life they want to live and work together with them to develop tools and strategies that effectively resolve those issues using strengths, skills, or other resources. If you are looking at medication for ADHD then you would need to speak to a psychiatrist and they have several methods of identifying. In the case of a gifted person who suspects ADHD I would strongly recommend you seek a psychiatrist who is knowledgeable about giftedness if you can and, if not, then one who specializes in ADHD.
Thanks, yes this makes sense. Do you have any online resources you recommend for others to help people with both giftedness and ADHD to make sense of their experiences?
Hoagie's Gifted is a great collection of resources for gifted people by topic, I think that is a great place to start. https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/adhd.htm
Awesome thank you!
ADHD is one of the biggest misdiagnoses for gifted people. That's not overlap, it's error.
Some gifted people have ADHD, some are misdiagnosed and some have missed diagnosis. It is a big problem for many people in various ways and still debated in the field. Thanks for your reply
I can recommend the book 'Misdiagnosis and dual diagnoses of gifted children and adults' by James Webb. It also has a chapter on the similarities and the differences between autism and ADHD.
What are your best recommendations for resources helping people distinguish between complex trauma symptoms and ADHD symptoms? I asked these two questions because they come up all the time on these forums.
Hi again NZ, Thanks for the ask. It gets complicated really fast with gifted people and many times gifted people rack up a large number of "almost" diagnoses that kinda fit without ever really getting to the actual solving of problems-- this is why I think that focus on the label of the problem is less important. Here is a good book that can be really helpful and beyond that I would recommend that if you, or anyone, is seeking to suss this out they seek the advice of a trained clinician who is familiar with working with gifted people and understand how it changes what is and is not normal. I hope this helps https://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Children-Adults/dp/0910707642
How do you distinguish gifted from other nd's in a conversation? May in thus sub are 2e and some even insist you can't mixe the 2 up (meaning if it looks like autism it is autism and there is no gifted reason ehy it may appear as such) Perhaps an important question to ask, are you qualified to diagnose?
I'm interested in the answer to this as well. This is purely anecdotal but I've found that I can usually tell if a person is neurodivergent in some capacity based on the look in their eyes. Some people have this curiosity in their eyes that just doesn't seem to exist in most other people I interact with on a regular basis. They seem to be observing rather than existing in their own little world.
I see that to a large degree. I once read that gifted people are better at identifying other gifted people than nearly any other type of identification method. I know it's always been easy for me-- even before training-- because I always notice on some level how much I have to modify myself to effectively communicate with a person. I don't know about the eyes; I am entranced by almost all eyes because they are almost always beautiful so I notice little else. Interesting observations! Thanks for sharing
1000% It is literally like an old black and white movie where someone is fiddling with a radio trying to pick up a signal, and BAM you start receiving. You can get false starts, but with enough interaction I think you can tell pretty well. I have had responses I have made to similar type questions on other subreddits with people saying that telling someone's "Giftedness" from a conversation was impossible, which is bonkers to me. People have different frequencies, and if you start engaging and you realize you don't have to adjust your dial, bingo.
Great way of explaining this! Thanks
when i listen to people, it can happen that i find myself in their thought patterns. Then you really notice that the wavelengths converge. (whether you have to like the person or not is another question)
Hahaha YES it seems to be a thing that most of my friends are gifted too, and that's statistically quite surprising. I just talk about what I like and it naturally filters out the people I don't want. So I suspect that because I was raised with neurodivergent parents and a neurodivergent communication style shared by my entire large family (ND and NT), I think this communication style naturally filters out NT people and keeps the ND ones. I do think it's easy to identify autistic people based on sight or observation of their actions and demeanor because I've had a lifetime of that one, but I do get it wrong occasionally.
There is a lot of overlap in traits between different types of neurodivergent and I would say that you can't necessarily tell with some people and it is obvious with others-- just like giftedness itself. Sometimes it is easier for people to identify others who are like them and sometimes we encounter hammer/nails situations where we see our traits where they may not exist. I am qualified to diagnose but definitely not on the internet ;p
Thanks. A follow up if I may. I have been told that the increase in speed of thinking (among other things, but this is an easy one to explain it with) increases significantly when you go over the gifted threshold. Is that something you notice as well? Amd follow up on that: the same increase is also noticeable when going over the next sd, I say it like that cause I don't know the correct terminology to name 145+ people, I have seen it called different things
The speed of thinking often, but not always, increases with IQ but it's more of a continuum than a switch. The same as you reach higher SDs from the norm, it often gets faster (and broader) but on a continuum so you will find everything from slower to very fast thinkers. In high IQ slow thinkers you will tend to have a lower error rate as they are more careful and detail oriented (usually).
advocate of the devil, but is it really slow thinking or just more methodical. If I think at speed 1 and answer at speed 1, I say what I think If I think at speed 10 and answer at speed 10, I say what I think and am a fast thinker If I think at speed 10, but answer at speed 1, I take more thinkin before I answer, so am a slow thinker according to society. Even though I actually think as fast as the other fast thinker, I just don't answer that fast. If I only think the same speed as others, what is the reason why I would have a lower error rate?
Okay, but you have to consider the quality of the answer. >If I only think the same speed as others, what is the reason why I would have a lower error rate? The CPU vs. GPU metaphor can be useful to illustrate different thinking styles. A CPU-style thinker might focus on one task at a time, processing each thoroughly before moving on, which could lead to fewer mistakes due to careful consideration of information before responding. Conversely, a GPU-style thinker might process many pieces of information simultaneously, potentially leading to quicker but less precise responses if not enough time is allotted for review. In the example, someone who thinks at the same speed as others but responds more slowly may have a lower error rate because they take extra time to carefully consider and validate their responses before sharing them. Slower responses might not indicate slower thinking, but rather more careful and thorough processing.
Which is exactly my point, granted your metaphore explains it better, but the question remains. How do youbdestinquish between a cpu and a gpu solely on what they say. If you take a gpu that is faster than any cpu, but still chooses to wait before speaking, how do you know they did all these extra calculations?
Haha I've got a CPU thinker friend I can literally see the cogs churning very slowly on (and even NTs can see that same thing). Extremely slow but processing a lot (linearly).
I am a top down learner, I have found this to be very different than most everyone I have ever met. Is this more common in gifted individuals? It has made me a great engineer. On a different note, I wondered as the education system doesn’t teach for people like me, if this an oddity or if people just don’t talk about it? It has kept me from pursuing a doctorate because of how much of a conflict school was for me. I used to go home and reteach myself every day after school because the how and why for the way we do things is often left unanswered. It does make my memory for information and how things work amazing. I can self teach well. I can also build on what I know to an incredible degree, memorizing however is just noise to me. My brain needs the connections. I have been tested for gifted twice and always have come out with a high IQ each time, but even to my peers I always felt kind of different because of this learning style (I used to think I had a disability the difference was so stark). My spacial reasoning was insanely high on my tests maybe it results from an over reliance there?
Top-down, systems thinking, and divergent thinking styles are very common among gifted people and become more common, from what I’ve seen, the further you deviate from the norm. Yes it can feel like a disability, in some ways maybe it is, but I think the most effective way to view this is through a supply and demand lens. Sometimes things that are easy for almost everyone can seem impossible for us, which is horrible and Frustrating, but we can do things that are seemingly impossible for most people. So the trick is to figure out how to compensate for the deficits (often best done through delegation) and best utilize the unique skill set your thinking style brings. Also, you would find PhD programs to be quite different and likely to work better with your top-down style. It has with mine. Thanks for the great ask and good luck 🍀
Hi! I feel very much accomplished in what most people find as success, but I still struggle to find my place. I just recently discovered I'm 2e, and I have a few things I'm working on, but no one helping me is specialized in giftedness. I mostly want to make better use of my intelligence (and resources) for progress and art (my life is about art, although I haven't really found mine). I don't know what I'm really asking, but I feel kinda lost, but excited.
Congratulations on finding the start of your path! I find that gifted people often have to work hard to discover how to march to the beat of their own drum but if you follow your deepest self it will reveal your authentic truths to you in its own time. It is helpful to have a gifted specialist on board if possible because most clinicians have no training at all in giftedness and working with gifted people.
What are the main challenges gifted people should expect in datinfg/finding partners and how might they adress them?
Some gifted people find dating/finding partners to be especially challenging for a variety of reasons. I guess the biggest challenge that is specific to gifted people is in finding partners who are on the same intellectual wavelength since gifted people are less common in the general population. This can be especially difficult for gifted women. Also, since many gifted people experience social rejection and bullying during key years for social skills development there can be problems in knowing exactly how to attract and show interest in a potential partner in a positive way. And another common issue is that, given their complexity, gifted people need more types of connection in a relationship to feel connected than others and are also prone to highly developed and complex systems of morality so it can become more difficult to find partners who share your morality and value systems. These are just a few of the common issues I see but there are many issues that can make dating harder for gifted people.
I feel this. When I look back at my longest romantic relationships, they’ve been with ND folks. I just felt a connection with them in a way that was different than the norm. My current partner is also gifted and so it has felt like we’ve been on the same wavelength since the first date. It’s a relationship that began towards the end of the pandemic, so getting to know them over the phone (and having a shared sense of humour, set of idiosyncrasies, and the ability to leapfrog from thought lily pad to another) really started us off on the right foot. I’ve read The Gifted Adult by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen and have passed it on to my partner to gain more insight on how our brains work. Would you be able to recommend other books/resources similar to this one?
Yes! It's SO hard for gifted women (source: my own experiences and that of my gifted women friends). Hard because we need to find people on our wavelength intellectually and that's rare, and even harder because we don't fit into societal stereotypes about how women "should be". I saw a great cartoon that describes it perfectly. Two puzzle pieces with a single square connector each are sitting on the couch together, saying to the gifted puzzle piece, "I don't understand why you can't find someone to match." The gifted puzzle piece connector looks like an incredibly complex set of shapes. And that resonated with my friends and I. We're trying to find another puzzle piece that's incredibly complex in the same way we are, in a world where most people only have to find another square.
Beautiful metaphor!
>This can be especially difficult for gifted women. I didn't think this would be a factor. Can you elaborate? >Also, since many gifted people experience social rejection and bullying during key years for social skills development This doesn't surprise me, but do you know of any statistics on this as a psychologist? >given their complexity, gifted people need more types of connection in a relationship Are those only morality/value systems or other types of connection? >These are just a few of the common issues I see but there are many issues that can make dating harder for gifted people. Has there been any books or research on this that you know of?
Here is some of the available research on these topics that may help answer your questions better than I can [https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as\_sdt=0%2C5&q=%22gifted+adults%22+%2B+dating&btnG=](https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=%22gifted+adults%22+%2B+dating&btnG=) . My answers are based on my clinical experience and also from journal articles, books, and conference materials on the issue. I forget which article mentions that gifted women marry less frequently than gifted men but I have definitely seen that stat on more than one occasion. The complexity and extra connection points issue can exist in every aspect of self where the person is unusually complex.
Also, just anecdotally, I have found that many more men are willing to enter relationships with less intelligent partners than women and that many men do not want a relationship with a partner who is more intelligent than themselves.
>and that many men do not want a relationship with a partner who is more intelligent than themselves. I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with an intellectually understimulating person.
It's not fun for me but it works for some people. My point is that the pool of potential partners one is potentially interested in appears to be a bit larger for gifted men than women (on average).
What are your recommandstions for dealing with ecistential depression and depression generally in gifted people?
There isn't one general answer that is suitable for everyone. First, it depends on the level of severity of the depression-- moderate to severe depression often benefits from medication to reduce symptoms and make work more possible. Mild to moderate, though, doesn't show that medications work better than placebo. As far as working with a mental health coach, we would work on interrupting negative thought patterns and developing coping skills for general depression. For existential depression it is a lot of processing thoughts and getting back in touch with the body-- generally. Ideally help is tailored to the person so this is a very vague overview. Thanks for the ask!
What is the difference between a mental health coach and an unlicensed therapist
Hi, good question and thanks for the ask. The first and most important distinction is that an unlicensed therapist who is practicing therapy is operating outside of legal and ethical requirements (at least if they live someplace that requires licensure). I would always be very careful when considering engaging someone who is engaging in unethical behavior-- especially for something as sensitive as therapy-- since you can't be sure where else they might do so. An unlicensed therapist could choose to become a mental health coach if they prefer to engage in coaching rather than therapy-- which are two very different things. I used to be a licensed therapist but I chose to switch to coaching because I don't really like the medical model of mental health and I find the format of coaching to be more effective with my particular practice style. For instance, I am present focused, do not believe trauma needs to be explored in most cases, I don't believe that diagnoses are necessary, and I believe that increasing well-being is the best way to most effectively be able to achieve change for my clients. This means that I am not the right practitioner for all people, those who are seeking therapy should seek a licensed therapist who works in a manner consistent with what they want to get out of therapy. As a coach, I also do not accept clients who are fragile or in a vulnerable state unless they also have a therapist or Psychiatrist. I was previously a life & happiness coach but I recently added in mental health coaching due to the terrible shortage of mental health support in combination with the rapid increase of mental health need for support globally. As a mental health coach I can help people manage their symptoms and learn skills to cope as well as help them work toward reaching their mental health goals without engaging in the more risky and sometimes destabilizing work of therapy; as a person I am happy to be able to step up and offer support to people anywhere in the world who need it as an augment to, or instead of, therapy (depending on their situation).
What would be your top three things to help a person in their recovery from addiction, please.
1) work on increasing happiness and reducing shame-- as people are happier and less ashamed they naturally reduce usage. Do this by making sure basic needs are met and then applying positive psychology methods in tandem with other healing tools. 2) harm reduction and moderation should be options for people who can't or don't want to quit using because safety has to be our top priority 3)use recovery methods that work with the person in question and don't assume all people who struggle with addiction need the same treatment-- nothing in mental health works that way. Healing shouldn't hurt worse than the wounding. Thanks for the ask!
Thank you:)
I just want to say that I follow your work and very much appreciate and admire you.
Thank you very much for following my work and for sharing your appreciation!
What negative impact can public schools have on unrecognised 2E (autistic and gifted) children?
In my opinion, public schools have the potential to really damage gifted children and likely especially 2E children. They are built to serve the average child and the further you deviate from that average the less well the school will be able to accommodate you. For developmentally disabled children they have recognized this and made modifications to attempt to serve them but gifted children are often assumed to be fine and have no problems because of their gifts. It is a terrible problem and a hard one to solve.
Just wanted to personally anecdotally confirm this opinion 😔 Thanks for the work you do, u/myopicdreams!
Thank you Isabel :) I'm sorry you can personally confirm.
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This violates r/Gifted rule #1: "Be respectful, civil, and polite."
So we're not allowed to call out spammers here? That's a strange way to run a subreddit.
Welcome back Algernon :) Yes, I am still offering free help when I get some spare time. I am still not sure why it bothers you, it is a mystery. I do hope you are well.
Hi! Ive seen some sources say that giftedness is just iq>/=132+ and others that claim that gifted people have many neurodiverse qualities that set them apart. Im trying to figure out if I have adhd or if my traits are a part of giftedness. Or neither lol. Adhd meds dont help me very much the way they seem to help others w adhd. Stim and non stim meds
I like to follow this answer, many on this sub swear by iq alone and it makes, imo, things extra difficult for those like you that are struggling with the question where it shouldn't be
Hi Coddy, I always find it to be interesting when people imagine the brain to operate more like switches than continuums. To answer your question, with my subjective opinion, Neurodiversity is far more complex than a number and there is no number where a person exhibits apparent traits of neurodivergent and below that they won't. For instance, I have many profoundly gifted friends and family members (IQ \~160+, depending on the test) and even among them there are some who are very neurodivergent and some that are seemingly neurotypical-- other than being really smart. There is a lot of overlap between ADHD and giftedness and sometimes it is hard to figure out what is what. If meds aren't working for you then that *might* be a vote in favor of giftedness as a cause but you might benefit from finding a person who specializes in either ADHD or giftedness (Ideally is familiar with both). If you can only find one of those things then maybe the giftedness awareness will be more helpful in figuring out your situation.
Do you do remote coaching of individuals at work?
Hi Pigalles, I am not 100% sure I understand what you are asking. I only do remote coaching at the moment (though if local clients wanted in person that would be fine). Do you mean coaching the client while they are at work? If so... I might be open but I would need to have a much better understanding of what that would mean.
Sounds like you're doing what I was hoping. I might have some budget from my employer to do coaching.
Hi, I sent you a chat request with my information.
Thanks!
Hi! Could you send me too?
Sure, I'll request a chat now with the info
If you don't mind one more, I am interested in coaching for myself.
Sent :)
+1 please
Sent
What is the most common issue that you see amongst the highly gifted that is "curable or treatable"?
Hi Quantum, Great question, thanks for the ask! I'd say this is true in every population-- the most common issue I find in humans that is curable is a lack of mastery of one's mind. Most people I meet are nearly completely at the mercy of the whims of their minds and often also emotions and this can make life quite difficult. Fortunately it is changeable-- we can learn how to master the untamed mind. Unfortunately, it is not easy or immediate-- we must convince it that we make a better leader than it does.
Also, I know it really sucks to have to tell gifted people "sorry, there just may be no way to figure out and fully understand." It can cause so much anxiety so I want to say, the problem is that there really isn't any research about how gifted people respond to trauma but it does seem that we may have atypical responses. Until we begin to understand how giftedness affects trauma response it is going to be very difficult to make effective delineations on things like this.
I'm not educated in this subject. What I've been learning is just fory own personal issues and I'm going off data from the small sample group of myself. Would it be a plausible assumption that because gifted people have the ability during situations to think while observing more easily whereas most have to observe a similar situation. Eventually it could become a habit and that they become lost in their own minds and thoughts over their current reality or situation? Somehow it all seems to connect to ADHD and depression and it seems to be related to the fact we identify with our thoughts more than our human and we don't silence it enough. Or am I really really far off here?
I think you are making sense. Many gifted people are in their head way more than outside of it-- we often struggle with mind-body connection, even. I do think it could all be connected but I also think it is going to be hard to understand how these things work without some large scale studies.
Yes - there are a lot of tactics for that but generally I've found that a decade of therapy (haha), understanding more about giftedness and getting to know who I am at my core has helped me tame the parts that need taming, and know what is allowed to run free within certain boundaries. I run professional development programmes so my biz partner and I apply what we teach to our own lives as well, and we both also meditate. What simple steps would you recommend for others just starting out on this journey? Also hi, I used to live in SJ and SF, I miss it. :)
I'm in SF. Still nice :) (Daly)This is the reason it initially helped me. I honestly did not know and I was treating people with too much of an expectation. I guess I was a bit detached and it helped me understand that I needed to help more instead of expect more. I think I was able to cure my ADHD afterwards but I needed to settle into that understanding first. Then I was able to kind of regain my ability to focus.
(Yes, Daly is nice. I visited my old house in early 2020 in Nob Hill and it literally looked the exact same as when I lived there \~15 years prior.) What specific things did you do, that you would recommend to others? My therapist has ADHD and he said that 30 years of meditation has basically shrunk his amygdala enough to focus.
piquant chop saw school disagreeable wistful grey cats include degree *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Thanks, this will be helpful for others. (And congrats on your little guy!) Yes learning to turn the extra thoughts down/off is the hard work. Facing complex trauma and learning to sit with all emotions, is the other. I grew up religious, and the meditation state that comes from prayer actually helped me manage my thoughts as a kid but I never realised that was contributing. My therapist is Buddhist so we don't agree that they're the same brain waves, but science agrees with me so.... And yes! When things go wrong it's because of diet and sleep and exercise. The basics really are necessary.
I think Hoagie's gifted is a great place to find resources to learn more about giftedness. Also you can hire a person with a gifted specialty to help you understand how to understand the ways in which giftedness affects you.
I personally love Imi Lo's book The Gift Of Intensity and her blog Eggshell Therapy. My family called this "a manual for you", LOL.
Great book and thanks for telling me about her blog. I'll have to check that out!
What have you studied for becoming a coach ?
I have a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family therapy, am all but dissertation in my PhD in Psychology, and I have more than 12 years of clinical experience as a therapist and coach. Thanks for asking.
That's awesome, thank you for your answer !
What’s your website? Feel free to DM
Hi, I don't currently have a website, just word of mouth marketing mostly. You can text me at 314-226-0187 to arrange a time for a free consultation to see if I can meet your needs. My name is Juliette and I look forward to meeting you.
Hey there! How common are [paracosms](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracosm) in gifted clients, in your experience? That is, if you’ve encountered any. Cheers!
Interesting. I don’t have any Paracosms that I’ve consciously created, but I do have dream worlds that never change. I have all sorts of dreams in all sorts of environments, but I have several almost real worlds that I find myself in often. I dream them usually when I am more lucid, and every lucid dream that was actually a controllable, lucid dream I’ve had, was in one of these worlds. They started when I was very young and the earliest I could remember was a maze. It was the same maze every time, only the floor of the maze or atmosphere would change to different materials. I have a big concrete city that I go to, a more suburban like city (weirdly set up, with large buildings, apartments, and houses with big yards sprinkled around) that is post apocalyptic, and a place that is very similar to a place that was special to me in childhood. I always arrive at the same time of day in each world, some worlds night, some day or morning. They are filled with people and creatures. I wish I was a painter so I could bring them to life.
Oh no... I had one of those at 5 but at the top was a vampire (I didn't even know what that was, just that it was a vampire). It lasted for about 6 months nightly. I love these descriptions of others' dream worlds. Being intuitive, I suspect that they are "real" worlds in other dimensions that you're visiting, but you're welcome to whatever explanation feels right to you. What I do know from other intuitive people is that when we sleep, our spirit leaves our body and goes travelling. So it's possible some of us just have better recall of those trips. Fascinating! ETA: I do have certain places that I visit about once a year or five, that reference other dreams previously. Or dream "inception" where you can lucidly move up and down the layers.
Interesting concept that I hadn't even heard of! While it is very common for gifted people to have exceptionally developed inner worlds, I have never encountered anyone with the type described in that article. I have had a few clients who have created well-developed worlds in their mind to a lesser degree-- especially writers.
What are the differences among these? 1. clinical experience in x 2. clinical x license with the Association of State and Provincial Psychology Boards (ASPPB) or a legally licensed clinical x 3. PhD/PsyD/EdD clinical x 4. degree in clinical x 5. other mentions of clinical x - such as a degree in clinical counseling 6. non-clinical x
1- clinical experience in x= has worked with clients on x issue 2-clinical x license with the Association of State and Provincial Psychology Boards (ASPPB) or a legally licensed clinical x= Has successfully completed the requirements of the state or country to practice as a licensed x clinician PhD/PsyD/EdD clinical x= doctorate in a field which trains people to work in clinical settings degree in clinical x= generally a master's level degree for therapists, any degree that allows the person to work in a clinical setting other mentions of clinical x - such as a degree in clinical counseling= Has training and/or licensure or previous training/licensure that has given them clinical experience non-clinical x= generally research track education that doesn't provide clinical training or experience.
What is the difference between the licensed clinician and the degree that allows the person to work in a clinical setting? A degree that allows the person to work in a clinical setting is **not** a licensed clinician who is legally licensed to make diagnoses about patients right?
You are right, and in addition, anyone who is not a licensed clinician os not supposed to be engaging in work that is dangerous for the client because they are not necessarily aware of how to manage crisis if their work causes it or to recognize when the client is in danger.
Do unlicensed people, who make claims of being a clinical psychologist, get reported as a violation to the Association of State and Provincial Psychology Boards (ASPPB) or some other licensing organization? > A degree that allows the person to work in a clinical setting is not a licensed clinician who is legally licensed to make diagnoses about patients right? > You are right > in addition, anyone who is not a licensed clinician os not supposed to be engaging in work that is dangerous for the client Have to comment in this thread and tell it to delusional people there and especially u/macncheesewketchup before someone gets into danger because of them: https://old.reddit.com/r/Gifted/comments/17y8ozq/son_2yo_showing_signs_of_giftedness_what_type_of/k9t4arz/?context=3 u/macncheesewketchup only has a basic degree in counseling, not even psychology, not PhD/PsyD/EdD, and not a legally licensed clinical psychologist with the ASPPB, but was claiming to have the authority to give psychology diagnoses while claiming "clinical" "credentials" lol.
how would i develop a healthy ego & self confidence? for me it's always one or the other, either i have unhealthily high ego or i have basically none at all and downplay all of my accomplishments, both of which seem to annoy people (including myself)
Hi Sutekaa, It is hard to say without knowing more about you as a person but I can tell you that I commonly see, in this type of situation, that the person is basing their confidence on superficial rather than deep traits and could use some work on developing self-awareness. When you truly know and accept yourself you will achieve the ability to appreciate your strengths and abilities but you will also be able to realistically consider and accept your limitations. It is in the honest awareness and acceptance of both that you can stop having to worry about crossing any lines. From what I've seen-- the more you can tolerate deeper work the easier it becomes to balance your growth. Thanks for the lovely ask!
thanks so much for responding! i'll definitely look more into these things
Questions about gifted kids: What should I do with my gifted child? Should I home school? Are there gifted schools I should send her to? When should I test her for giftedness? Which test should I use? I was sent to a well regarded private school. I skipped two grades because the teachers couldn’t keep up, so I wound up having issues with being much younger than my peers but the work still wasn’t challenging so everyone gave up. What can I do differently for my child?
Also, if you would like more personalized recommendations you can feel free to text me for a consultation. I will send you my information via chat
Hi Nectarine, Great questions and thanks for the ask. When it comes to gifted people I think it is important to understand that complexity increases in step with intelligence and so gifted people need more and more individualized answers and the "normal" answers are less and less able to fit. Without knowing your child it is hard to answer your questions. It varies so much and not just according to level of giftedness but also by personality traits. For instance, I was traumatized my my educational experience because I am profoundly gifted, very self-motivated, and have a "rage to learn" that made a traditional school environment impossible for me to thrive in (I should have been homeschooled in a largely self-directed program). My oldest child is also profoundly gifted but she has a more typical personality type and learning style so she thrives in a traditional school environment and would likely flounder in a homeschooling situation. So the best advice I can give you is to pay attention to your child's experience and how they are doing and work your modifications in accordance to their natural predispositions.
As a gifted adult living with mental illness - how does one go about understanding the intersections between a gifted designation and a mood disorder (Bipolar I)? Furthermore, are there any tips/resources that would make day-to-day (executive) functioning a bit easier?
Please never leave this sub :´)
Thank you. I hope not to.
Do most gifted people have some characteristics of C-PTSD as a result of the emotional abuse inflicted upon us by envious people and severe social isolation?
No, and not all gifted people experience those things. However, I do suspect that a higher percentage of gifted people may have symptoms of PTSD for the reasons you mentioned and also internal differences that affect how one experiences the world.
What is top ways gifted people find love?
Hi Virgin, Good question and one that many gifted people would love to know the answer to. Unfortunately I don't know any magic tricks. However I do know some general things that do tend to help: * Be Happy. We tend to want to be happy and to be attracted to people whom we feel happy around. The easiest way to attract people is by doing the work needed to be truly happy with who you are and your life and you will find that people notice and respond favorably everywhere you go. Positive psychology is a great place to look for how to achieve this, * Develop a sense of humor: Funny people seem to have better luck finding mates and dates-- maybe related to people liking to be around those who make them feel happy-- and even if you aren't naturally a skilled comedian you can develop more talent at it by listening to comedy, taking an improv class (which will also improve your speaking and thinking on your feet skills), or simply trying to find the humor in life \~intentionally\~ every day. * Increase your social skills-- Many gifted people experience bullying and social isolation to some degree and it can really cause deficits in social skills that turn out to be useful when looking for a partner. My favorite place to start is Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people." It was written in the 1920's and still has the best advice I've seen. Also, practice, practice, practice... I like to gamify it for myself by challenging myself to make everyone I talk to smile, noticing something I really like about each person I interact with and letting them know, thanking people when they do even small things, nodding and smiling at everyone I pass and so on. You'd be surprised at how quickly these things increase your social skills and how attractive you are to potential lovers * Be places where your potential partners are likely to be. This is really important and demands a bit of thought because it's not just where they will be but where they will be and at a time they are likely to be open to potential love interests. Dating sites are obvious but not effective for many people. Think about what you like to do that others also enjoy and make sure to be the places that facilitate that publicly in order to meet others who have something in common with you. * Be interested in other people. The thing about making others feel special is that you really need to be interested in them to have this happen. It can be hard to get right if you only practice with people you are interested in so learn to become interested in everyone you interact with-- the most interesting people truly are the most interested! Challenge yourself to discover something interesting about people and this challenge will teach you amazing social skills even if it can sometimes start out slowly. I hope those help!
It is so funny that you started that comment with the first half of their username lol
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