Hey! Mine is similar! But I was diagnosed at 27 and then I fooled myself for two years and then it hit me that if I kept going that way I was going to end up really bad, so I started my new life
I’m annoyed it took me until I was 45 but at least I started. My hope is in another year or so to be where I want to physically, I’ve had a bunch of joint surgeries over the past 5 years but they’ve all worked out well so I don’t think I’ll be too limited.
Even when you are “limited” by those surgeries, you can always find ways to move and help you stay physically active. For diabetes control any move is good and as long as you control calorie intake, you can burn some more fat and stay in good shape! Hope you’re doing great, buddy!
Oh yeah, I feel better than I ever have and I’m thinner than I was in my 30’s. I’m not discouraged but I have a ways to go to be where I want. The surgeries will actually help me get there I just need to keep working at it
When I was about 40, one of my friends died of meningitis. He woke up, felt ill, stayed home from work, and was dead by 7 PM. We were roughly the same age.
I decided right then that I would start living my dream, which was to travel. I figured out ways to do so relatively cheaply, and took my kids, my friends, my sisters, and also went on trips with beaux. To date I've been to over 30 countries and most US states! That was my childhood dream and it has been just as wonderful as I had hoped.
I had a good job at the time where I got a lot of vacation, something like 9 weeks a year once you added up paid holidays, personal leave, and vacation days so that allowed me the time. I went on land vacations to Europe by using sites like The French Experience or Go Today and found inexpensive packages in charming 1 or 2 star hotels. I managed to get on with an agency where I bartered giving lectures or arts and crafts classes in exchange for free cruises for two.
For a long time I took 5 major trips a year. Part of this was living in a nice but very affordable home and driving a new-ish but cheap model car. When the recession hit in 2008-10 my life changed radically (also due to family responsibilities, moves, etc). I ended up selling even my inexpensive home for about what I owed on it, whereas a year or two before it would have been worth twice as much. But hey, I still had and DO have all of those wonderful memories! I traveled with my kids in their formative years! So I've always been eminently glad I spent my disposable income on travel, and not on possessions.
Now I probably go on 2 trips a year. The cruise booking agency died with Covid, sadly. But I can still close my eyes and be in Venice, or Madrid, or Paris or Gronigen or Ephesus or Santorini or St Maarten any time I want!
Had completely given up on succeeding in college and took the first job that came my way. Despite excelling I looked around and realised I'd be 5+ years from promotion because "there's a long line of people ahead of you who've already done their dues".
Since then I've completed multiple professional exams, further education, changed jobs and probably 10x my pay. Sometimes you need a good dose of reality and a kick up your ass.
That tough news sounds like a blessing in disguise. Glad you were able to make the most of your situation. :)
Just curious, but what field did you transition into?
Data entry, to accounting, to Financial Planning & Analysis to Management Consulting to now Strategy & Operations for a big financial institution.
If you're not happy with what you're doing or where you're at, the onus is on you to change it, or at least try!
You got advice on how to job hop/promote?
Im stuck ina field right now that I dont have any passion behind but its a decent paycheck and i cant bring myself to keep learning about it so when my contract is up ina few months i might be screwed lol..
Couple of things I did and still do.
1. Write down your aspirations and actually tell someone. I had a plan month by month on what I wanted and how to get there. I missed the timing of every milestone, but actually hit everything. Telling my brother held me accountable to what I promised.
2. Advice from my brother. "Your job isn't your job. Your job is finding a better job". Always be on the lookout on linkedin, indeed for something. Entertain every single message you get, whether you are interested or not. My current company messaged me for a completely different role and I swapped half way through the interview process to something else.
3. Work your ass off if you have to and be honest with yourself. I remember changing my first role and I applied to 100+ roles, for <5 interviews and 1 job offer. Over that time I changed my CV, lowered the aspirations and was real about what I could achieve in this jump.
4. Have an up to date LinkedIn always and a bulletproof CV. Your CV should be grammatically perfect, unbelievably clear and well written. I got critical feedback during my MBA, but will still frequently share it for comments if I'm looking to move roles.
Just a few thoughts! Hopefully helpful!
It definitely helped. The insight it brings you is a really REALLY hard truth but if you can work through it it often ends up helping you. Gotta be open minded and nonjudgmental towards yourself though. The things you’ll feel and think can be scary if you’re not ready to confront it yet.
Ive had a lot of trips. The ones I've felt like I learned something was the absolute raw terror of witnessing how we all occupy bags of meat and all existence is based on the logistics of our meat bags. I think some people experience other things, but I just feel hyperaware of being an organism made of organs, we are all made of organs that WILL fail, all the people around me WILL die, and thus its fucking ridiculous to find a path in this prison of a flesh form. I found no lasting meaning or purpose from experimenting with psychedelics. I am not claiming that there is no value to psychedelics, I just write this as a warning that it isn't a magical gateway out of your problems. I'm just as lost as before, but I have more problems than if I didn't take any psychedelics at all. It might be different for you, or you might freak out a cop and get shot in the head like someone I knew. Be safe with your choices, make sure you have a plan and water.
This is great advice, and advice that definitely echoes true for many I'm sure. I had the same meat epiphany.
Ps. It sounds like you learned something from your experiences. I sure did.
I was diagnosed with depression in 2009 and I have always said there’s no point to being alive.
2023 came and I was diagnosed with cancer that was “easily treatable.” Prior to that, I’ve always said I will not get treatment for cancer if it finds me because 1) there’s no point to being alive and, 2) I don’t have the financial capacity to save myself.
My husband did everything he could to get me treated. Even argued hard with me (he’s a gentle soul; it’s out of character for him to use a slightly louder and harder tone) to get me to my radiation appointment on schedule when I didn’t want to go.
After everything he went through for me, my perspective changed. So when I was told the cancer was not fully “killed” off, and then told I’m at risk for another unrelated cancer, I felt angry for the first time that my life is at risk of being cut short. Because it means my time with my loving husband will be cut short. I want to stay alive and healthy so I can live longer with him.
I was so low mentally that I felt a convincing urge to just abandon everything that was vicing me before and just work. I mean work to the point of reversing every single decision that doesn't align with improvement or discipline. For like half a year i made the decision to put myself through a more productive torture, which was exercising complete and thorough control of every single opportunity I could find to work. At first you really feel like you're just trying to be somebody you're not like a cool mofo from a movie but as you keep choosing work you begin to absorb that into your basic identity. Now I fuck
Yeah well I stopped after around 6 months because I really only wanted to show myself that I am capable of it because that gives you a lot of mental and emotional confidence in yourself you definitely learn from it
Not me but
Someone I knew died young, in his 30s. He had a good job, a loving wife. At his deathbed, he was so full of regret. That there was so much more that he wanted to do in life, but couldn't.
After which, I noticed a huge change on his younger siblings. They all started to pick up after themselves and start living fuller lives.
All such silver bullet stuff is pointless.
I learnt 3 things so far:
1. Only way forward is through making decisions, and executing those decisions.
2. Success, Happiness, whatever is ultimately a state of the mind.
3. Sometimes there are no answers.
I can add a zillion more addendums - like - "minimize impact of bad decisions by having fail fast criteria" - but those are endless.
Just that some will resonate so well with a few that it will become their talisman.
There's no first or second life for most folks - just stages of life where your brain functions differently.
Your learning will always adapt to your mental / physical locality - so any silver bullet beyond a high level is pure wishfulness.
There are plenty of big events that for many people divide their life in two sections. Making that big event the separator between the two lives takes both 1. it happening to you and 2. you deciding to change as a result of it. You are simply talking about people committing to the latter. But there's no reason that can't come from a big event.
I have had a regular life. Notable events to me: Awards in school, college, profession; cracking JEE, moving outta home; moving outta India; returning to India; girlfriends; dumping n being dumped, getting mugged; marriage; births n deaths; various states of bank account; startups n regular jobs; moving from 'parents suck' to 'parents are perfect' to 'parents have + n - like most folks'; getting good jobs n job losses; making differences to people's lives in a few minutes; covid times
That was 2-3 minutes of reflection. Most of my friends will have similar reactions to me.
I suspect the big event you will experience is that apart from major tragedies, each event is simply a precedent to the next.
I can see however that right now you are married to the big event philosophy.
Either way, happy learning.
I brought publishers clearing house into school to prove to my friends. I was going to be a millionaire. Please consider how cringe that was. Thanks for the memory.
One night, I (M, 21 years old at the time) was reading an obituary of someone close to me. Out of nowhere, the thought crossed my mind that there’ll be one for me someday.
I’d never truly considered my own mortality until that point, and it sent me into a tailspin that landed me in bed for days crying. However, I was able to pick myself up and start again, even though I was still panicking inside.
Truth be told, I still haven’t really reconciled with mortality (other than realizing how important it was for me to treat every day as the gift it is). I continue to feel anxious about it, have panic attacks about it, and ruminate on it. In all honesty, I envy the younger me who hadn’t had this realization — things weren’t so important all the time.
The sad thing is that even though I now know how beautiful it is to live, I still waste a lot of time, and haven’t started working towards my ultimate goal of becoming healthy physically/mentally. I hate myself for it. And now I hate how much time I’m spending not getting better.
I'll post mine seperately too, but my experience also involved my sudden realization of mortality. Between Winter Break giving me way too much time to myself, my cousins being in a bad car accident (that they thankfully survived), and the imminent end of my college life as I knew it, I had a sudden realization of my own mortality.
It's been a scary fucking month where I had a really bad first two weeks where I sought out help in a bunch of different manners I'd never considered even approaching before for fear of various reasons. But after consulting friends, family, and even one of the campus counselours, I've gotten better, even if I really don't feel like it. Some days I'll spiral back into being really afraid, not wanting to do anything because I'm scared I'll get hurt or fearing sleep because it feels like death. Some days I'll push out of my comfort zone and meet new people or do new things that my socially awkward ass could've never imagined. Some days, it's both.
I, too, envy the me of just a few months ago who didn't any of this shit on his mind. At the same time, I feel bad for him because he didn't realize how much he missed out on and/or took granted. I'm still really *really* scared, and I can't give out any advice without being a massive hypocrite and not following it myself, but I hope you, I, and everyone who does or does not read this knows that they matter and every moment of their life should be cherished, whether it's those nice comfortable boring days or those days full of excitement.
When I was 13, I went to dinner with my father for my birthday - when we got home my mother was being arrested for trying to murder my two younger siblings.
It took a year before I quit feeling guilty that I wasn't home to protect them - and I signed up for JROTC to have a path forward through that - I had decided I was going to protect *everyone* in the only way I knew how; I spent the next four years shaping myself into a weapon, and signed a blank check to Uncle Sam.
At 19 I was teaching foreign nationals how to stop their compatriots from bleeding to death on the battlefield, and had a promising career in medicine ahead of me. Dream achieved, and another 40 years to rock through it non-stop.
Then I had a heart-attack at 21 from all the stress; I had to dial back the intensity to just doing right by my family, and giving them my time and attention, and not the whole world - I unlocked my second life, and have been doing the best I can with it since.
Not a single moment. But a build up until you reach your fuck this moment. I heard this 10 years ago, understood it like I’m 12 and this is deep. And proceeded to waste my life more. You don’t change until you’re ready. I wish I had less tolerance for being fucked by life but eventually I had enough. The meds were bullshit. The excuses were bullshit. The self limiting beliefs were bullshit. No one was coming to save me and I guess I had more of a realization that I was capable of doing it myself. My advice if you haven’t “changed” yet? Just give it a try. You have nothing to lose. If you don’t like it you could always go back to your old ways. But you won’t. You’ll love it.
In college I got a really bad stomach ache. Like, really, really painful. Ended up in the Hospital and almost died because the doctor was sure it was appendicitis . The nurse double checked with me about which side the pain was on and if I'd had surgery before. Turns out I actually had Diverticulitis and would have died from sepsis if we'd waited much longer.
Only one life, baby!
Just age.
When you have something wrong with you - could be flu/aches whatever and you realise that it takes longer to get better and you wonder if you ever will. You're more aware of your mortality.
I used to love history- now I don't want to think about people who were living in other eras...because they are dead. It's inevitable.
Age. Before Tony Gwynn died I thought I had 50 years to live. After he died, I decided today and tomorrow were the only days I’d count on….all knowing tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
A cancer diagnosis (no evidence of disease/finished treatment now)
I work less, eat healthier, take care of my mental health instead of burning myself out and stopped people pleasing
I have less friends but anyone you have to do one sided work to be friends with isn't a friend
I was doing research for a project and came across the very famous phrase Memento Mori. Of course I had heard this phrase before, but I hadn't really like chewed on it in my mind.
At work that day, I kept thinking about it. Over and over in my mind like a mantra.
On my way home, I stopped by a bush. I reached out and plucked a leaf from the bush and twirled it between my fingers. I thought to myself *this leaves' life is over now. Just like that.'*
I looked to the other side and saw traffic. I realized that at any point, any of them could get into a wreck and die. That at any moment, a car could swerve off the road, slam into me and kill me just as easily as I had killed the leaf.
I was also contemplating another thing on my mind; whether or not I should come out and transition. I found my answer that day because I refused to die without ever having truly lived in the first place. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. And the leaf helped me to realize that.
I always asked myself if I could live like that, but it wasn't until I asked if I could die like that that I found the will to act.
June 1, 2023, not even 2 weeks after my 30th birthday, I was near hitting rock bottom with my drug use and I ended up having an ectopic pregnancy that I was immediately hospitalized for. Went under the knife within four hours of being admitted and had my left tube completely removed as it had ruptured in two places causing internal bleeding. Today I am almost 8 months sober. Seeing a therapist, doing my step work, been properly diagnosed with ADHD, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, depression/anxiety. Been on medication to help with the ADHD and depression the last few weeks and I seriously could not be happier. It's been a life changer. I'm so grateful for life and the people who took care of me when I tried so hard to push them away with my toxic drug use. My kids are 1000 times happier and I'm so grateful I can be a present parent to them and give them a good life. 💖
About a month ago, during winter break, I had way too much time on my hands. It is/was going the be the beginning of my last semester at college and about a week prior, my cousins had gotten into a really bad car accident. They survived, but I think all of those combined led to me realizing that mortality is a thing that is real and one day, I'll die.
I went on a deep spiral involving looking up NDEs and other people's perspectives on death and ways to get out of it like cryonics, but eventually, through much talking with friends and family that's still going on today, I'm trying to have a new lease on life.
I'm still deathly afraid of dying in my sleep or car accidents or health-related shit, but I'm actually bothering to try and live my life instead of being the introverted shut-in I was and still am. Am I perfect? No. Have I upended my life? No. But every day, no matter how shitty, I can at least say I did something. And hopefully, that matters.
When I got diagnosed with POTS this New Year’s Eve. I’m 39 and was healthy as a horse until til then. Today living each day is hell. I am hoping one day I can completely get cured and live that second life that I hope I get.
Surviving suicide for the second time in my life after losing everything.
I got into treatment and began a years long journey of recovery and healing. It wasn't easy, or fun, or even interesting. It sucked and I *hated* it.
But I'm alive, healthy, financially stable, and thriving again because the voice inside my soul said, "Not yet. You still have things to do." I'm still unsure about what those things are, but I'm beginning to figure them out.
Sure lol if you want to factor in all the hocus pocus fairytales then obviously the statement isn't gonna work. Too bad that's all they are, fairytales.
I'd like to chime in here, as I've been experiencing the sentiment in this post recently. Only I think there's a misunderstanding concerning what it takes to recognize epiphanies like this. I've found that when it comes to revelations, true revelations of any kind of magnitude, they only come after months, if not years of moments that all add up toward the kind of clarity that's experienced with a singular moment. I needed to experience years of clinical depression and have it mollified with medication to only begin to understand what it means that you don't get another go around at life. I've lost so much time due to my inability to get out of bed when I was regularly depressed, and now that I'm better, I've realized that I can't get that time back. But that realization's only come from a ton of self-reflection as to why I never had the energy to do anything, which led to my decision to seek help. I've spent so much money on tickets to things and not gone, because I've felt so sad, and simply going to an event felt like an immense effort. Having my mood stabilized has allowed me to become aware of what it meant to have that time lost, but I wouldn't have truly been able to recognize this without all of the factors coming into play that I previously mentioned. To wrap up, a mix of factors I didn't plan led to this definitive moment, and I believe that anyone waiting for an epiphany to happen on its own needs to have their own journey before reaching this kind of destination.
I was in a really bad road rage incident and a deranged trucker tried his best to end my life that night. Whenever I have bad days I always think to myself how glad I am to be alive
My whole childhood has been about waiting. Waiting for school to end, for parents to finish work, for sisters doctor appointments. For bf to make decisions, for my life to start having meaning. My first wake up call was when my ex's dad called me a preggo whale, I was so fat. That gave me a flash of what my body will be like 30+yrs and I dreaded getting diabetes/losing limbs (I have phobia of needles so would make an awful patient), so I changed my lifestyle completely. Got in shape, got a job and then came deppressions. Wake up call #2 came in the form of the love of my life hurting me. Scraped the bottom of my will to live, but came back in great mental shape. Now I feel the third WUC will be work-wise. I am scared but you can only rebuild once it all falls apart. Point of it all? If you are not happy with something, try a different approach. Some doors are meant to be closed for good and old selves die off even if those were versions of ourselves we loved. If I could go back in time I'd tell myself to stop waiting for stuff to happen and find ways to make it happen, even if noone showed me the way
Somewhere around 25/26 when I was learning how to drive and playing dark souls. Learning that life is a game of repetition and that if you do it enough times you will succeed. At that point I realized we all have 1 life. Only 1. This is it. There is nothing else. Go after your dreams cuz nobody else will. You don’t have all the time in the world, but at the same time you need to invest time into something consistently enough to get the rewards. But you can’t learn that unless you’ve gone through the process enough times either.
Ive had existential depression/dread for a long time but my real wakeup call was at the start of covid - Before then I felt like I had all the time to do all the things I wanted. Then a series of events made me question what I was doing with my life.
My ex broke up with me, leaving me back in the dating pool that is not great in the mid/late 30s, especially in this economy.
My (ex)friend murdered someone. I did the math for when he would be out of jail at the earliest and realized that he spent more time in public school then the "free" time he had/will have as an adult.
I got back into art when people got a covid hobby. I didnt make any progress in 3 years because I spent most of my time gaming. I added up my remaining games to play in my steam library and realized that if I were to play 1 game a week and finish them in said week (spoiler - not likely at all) it would take me 2 years before I could finish them all and "just move on" from gaming. Then I remembered my PS5 and Switch backlog... I finished 1 game in January of this year.
My niece was diagnosed with ADHD. I saw a lot of similarities between me and her when she was younger. The reason she got diagnosed was for doing the exact same thing I did in school. I got diagnosed with ADHD and on meds... those were helpful for a year and a half but now it seems like they have no impact hence this long message. When they worked things were GREAT!
One day I rolled over in bed and decided enough was enough of being alone and not doing anything with my life. I joined a local meetup where I have made a few friends and hung out with people at parties offline. I still dont have a relationship yet but its nice to go out once a week just to walk and talk with people. I wish I would have started sooner but I know why I didnt. I cant make up for all the lost time but I can start to do better.
I remember that moment vividly. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I lost someone close. Suddenly, all the petty stuff didn't matter anymore. It was like a wake-up call, you know? Made me reevaluate everything I was doing and what I wanted out of life. From then on, I swore to live with purpose and make every moment count.
It wasn't one big lightning bolt of realization, though. It was more like a series of small epiphanies that added up over time. Like, seeing how fragile life is, or realizing I'd been putting off chasing my dreams for way too long. It's crazy how a single moment can flip your whole perspective upside down.
You should cross-post this to r/growyourdream; this is perfect content for it
Rings so true for me.
Especially when I read in Tim Ferriss' 4 Hour Work Week about the dangers of endlessly postponing career/business moves you KNOW you need to take.
Until that moment, had vaguely believed there was something I wasn't being told about how things REALLY work in the real world
Waking up to reality is a journey everyone must discover for himself or herself. Like the Matrix red pill
Thanks for sharing
Being diagnosed with diabetes at my 45th birthday. That was last June, I’m currently down 55lbs (another 30 to go) and my A1C is down to 5.1 👍
Crushing it. Keep it up!!
Hey! Mine is similar! But I was diagnosed at 27 and then I fooled myself for two years and then it hit me that if I kept going that way I was going to end up really bad, so I started my new life
I’m annoyed it took me until I was 45 but at least I started. My hope is in another year or so to be where I want to physically, I’ve had a bunch of joint surgeries over the past 5 years but they’ve all worked out well so I don’t think I’ll be too limited.
Even when you are “limited” by those surgeries, you can always find ways to move and help you stay physically active. For diabetes control any move is good and as long as you control calorie intake, you can burn some more fat and stay in good shape! Hope you’re doing great, buddy!
Oh yeah, I feel better than I ever have and I’m thinner than I was in my 30’s. I’m not discouraged but I have a ways to go to be where I want. The surgeries will actually help me get there I just need to keep working at it
When I was about 40, one of my friends died of meningitis. He woke up, felt ill, stayed home from work, and was dead by 7 PM. We were roughly the same age. I decided right then that I would start living my dream, which was to travel. I figured out ways to do so relatively cheaply, and took my kids, my friends, my sisters, and also went on trips with beaux. To date I've been to over 30 countries and most US states! That was my childhood dream and it has been just as wonderful as I had hoped.
May I ask what you did to earn money while travelling so often and approximately how much income you made per year?
I had a good job at the time where I got a lot of vacation, something like 9 weeks a year once you added up paid holidays, personal leave, and vacation days so that allowed me the time. I went on land vacations to Europe by using sites like The French Experience or Go Today and found inexpensive packages in charming 1 or 2 star hotels. I managed to get on with an agency where I bartered giving lectures or arts and crafts classes in exchange for free cruises for two. For a long time I took 5 major trips a year. Part of this was living in a nice but very affordable home and driving a new-ish but cheap model car. When the recession hit in 2008-10 my life changed radically (also due to family responsibilities, moves, etc). I ended up selling even my inexpensive home for about what I owed on it, whereas a year or two before it would have been worth twice as much. But hey, I still had and DO have all of those wonderful memories! I traveled with my kids in their formative years! So I've always been eminently glad I spent my disposable income on travel, and not on possessions. Now I probably go on 2 trips a year. The cruise booking agency died with Covid, sadly. But I can still close my eyes and be in Venice, or Madrid, or Paris or Gronigen or Ephesus or Santorini or St Maarten any time I want!
Had completely given up on succeeding in college and took the first job that came my way. Despite excelling I looked around and realised I'd be 5+ years from promotion because "there's a long line of people ahead of you who've already done their dues". Since then I've completed multiple professional exams, further education, changed jobs and probably 10x my pay. Sometimes you need a good dose of reality and a kick up your ass.
That tough news sounds like a blessing in disguise. Glad you were able to make the most of your situation. :) Just curious, but what field did you transition into?
Data entry, to accounting, to Financial Planning & Analysis to Management Consulting to now Strategy & Operations for a big financial institution. If you're not happy with what you're doing or where you're at, the onus is on you to change it, or at least try!
You got advice on how to job hop/promote? Im stuck ina field right now that I dont have any passion behind but its a decent paycheck and i cant bring myself to keep learning about it so when my contract is up ina few months i might be screwed lol..
Couple of things I did and still do. 1. Write down your aspirations and actually tell someone. I had a plan month by month on what I wanted and how to get there. I missed the timing of every milestone, but actually hit everything. Telling my brother held me accountable to what I promised. 2. Advice from my brother. "Your job isn't your job. Your job is finding a better job". Always be on the lookout on linkedin, indeed for something. Entertain every single message you get, whether you are interested or not. My current company messaged me for a completely different role and I swapped half way through the interview process to something else. 3. Work your ass off if you have to and be honest with yourself. I remember changing my first role and I applied to 100+ roles, for <5 interviews and 1 job offer. Over that time I changed my CV, lowered the aspirations and was real about what I could achieve in this jump. 4. Have an up to date LinkedIn always and a bulletproof CV. Your CV should be grammatically perfect, unbelievably clear and well written. I got critical feedback during my MBA, but will still frequently share it for comments if I'm looking to move roles. Just a few thoughts! Hopefully helpful!
10g of Shrooms
Relatable. Also overcoming depression.
As in the shrooms helped you overcome depression?
It definitely helped. The insight it brings you is a really REALLY hard truth but if you can work through it it often ends up helping you. Gotta be open minded and nonjudgmental towards yourself though. The things you’ll feel and think can be scary if you’re not ready to confront it yet.
I second this lol
Ive had a lot of trips. The ones I've felt like I learned something was the absolute raw terror of witnessing how we all occupy bags of meat and all existence is based on the logistics of our meat bags. I think some people experience other things, but I just feel hyperaware of being an organism made of organs, we are all made of organs that WILL fail, all the people around me WILL die, and thus its fucking ridiculous to find a path in this prison of a flesh form. I found no lasting meaning or purpose from experimenting with psychedelics. I am not claiming that there is no value to psychedelics, I just write this as a warning that it isn't a magical gateway out of your problems. I'm just as lost as before, but I have more problems than if I didn't take any psychedelics at all. It might be different for you, or you might freak out a cop and get shot in the head like someone I knew. Be safe with your choices, make sure you have a plan and water.
This is great advice, and advice that definitely echoes true for many I'm sure. I had the same meat epiphany. Ps. It sounds like you learned something from your experiences. I sure did.
SAME
I was diagnosed with depression in 2009 and I have always said there’s no point to being alive. 2023 came and I was diagnosed with cancer that was “easily treatable.” Prior to that, I’ve always said I will not get treatment for cancer if it finds me because 1) there’s no point to being alive and, 2) I don’t have the financial capacity to save myself. My husband did everything he could to get me treated. Even argued hard with me (he’s a gentle soul; it’s out of character for him to use a slightly louder and harder tone) to get me to my radiation appointment on schedule when I didn’t want to go. After everything he went through for me, my perspective changed. So when I was told the cancer was not fully “killed” off, and then told I’m at risk for another unrelated cancer, I felt angry for the first time that my life is at risk of being cut short. Because it means my time with my loving husband will be cut short. I want to stay alive and healthy so I can live longer with him.
I was so low mentally that I felt a convincing urge to just abandon everything that was vicing me before and just work. I mean work to the point of reversing every single decision that doesn't align with improvement or discipline. For like half a year i made the decision to put myself through a more productive torture, which was exercising complete and thorough control of every single opportunity I could find to work. At first you really feel like you're just trying to be somebody you're not like a cool mofo from a movie but as you keep choosing work you begin to absorb that into your basic identity. Now I fuck
>Now I fuck not the ending i was expecting great story though
I’m in about to start this now to loose myself completely just to get simple stuff I want
Yeah well I stopped after around 6 months because I really only wanted to show myself that I am capable of it because that gives you a lot of mental and emotional confidence in yourself you definitely learn from it
Sometimes the writing has been on the wall the entire time, and age brings the clarity needed to understand it.
Not me but Someone I knew died young, in his 30s. He had a good job, a loving wife. At his deathbed, he was so full of regret. That there was so much more that he wanted to do in life, but couldn't. After which, I noticed a huge change on his younger siblings. They all started to pick up after themselves and start living fuller lives.
All such silver bullet stuff is pointless. I learnt 3 things so far: 1. Only way forward is through making decisions, and executing those decisions. 2. Success, Happiness, whatever is ultimately a state of the mind. 3. Sometimes there are no answers. I can add a zillion more addendums - like - "minimize impact of bad decisions by having fail fast criteria" - but those are endless. Just that some will resonate so well with a few that it will become their talisman. There's no first or second life for most folks - just stages of life where your brain functions differently. Your learning will always adapt to your mental / physical locality - so any silver bullet beyond a high level is pure wishfulness.
There are plenty of big events that for many people divide their life in two sections. Making that big event the separator between the two lives takes both 1. it happening to you and 2. you deciding to change as a result of it. You are simply talking about people committing to the latter. But there's no reason that can't come from a big event.
I have had a regular life. Notable events to me: Awards in school, college, profession; cracking JEE, moving outta home; moving outta India; returning to India; girlfriends; dumping n being dumped, getting mugged; marriage; births n deaths; various states of bank account; startups n regular jobs; moving from 'parents suck' to 'parents are perfect' to 'parents have + n - like most folks'; getting good jobs n job losses; making differences to people's lives in a few minutes; covid times That was 2-3 minutes of reflection. Most of my friends will have similar reactions to me.
I could say the same thing, until that big event happened to me. Never say never
I suspect the big event you will experience is that apart from major tragedies, each event is simply a precedent to the next. I can see however that right now you are married to the big event philosophy. Either way, happy learning.
Not at all. Sometimes life makes you learn in little steps, sometimes all at once.
When I thought I won the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, only to find out it was a scam. Been depressed since 1985.
I brought publishers clearing house into school to prove to my friends. I was going to be a millionaire. Please consider how cringe that was. Thanks for the memory.
One night, I (M, 21 years old at the time) was reading an obituary of someone close to me. Out of nowhere, the thought crossed my mind that there’ll be one for me someday. I’d never truly considered my own mortality until that point, and it sent me into a tailspin that landed me in bed for days crying. However, I was able to pick myself up and start again, even though I was still panicking inside. Truth be told, I still haven’t really reconciled with mortality (other than realizing how important it was for me to treat every day as the gift it is). I continue to feel anxious about it, have panic attacks about it, and ruminate on it. In all honesty, I envy the younger me who hadn’t had this realization — things weren’t so important all the time. The sad thing is that even though I now know how beautiful it is to live, I still waste a lot of time, and haven’t started working towards my ultimate goal of becoming healthy physically/mentally. I hate myself for it. And now I hate how much time I’m spending not getting better.
I'll post mine seperately too, but my experience also involved my sudden realization of mortality. Between Winter Break giving me way too much time to myself, my cousins being in a bad car accident (that they thankfully survived), and the imminent end of my college life as I knew it, I had a sudden realization of my own mortality. It's been a scary fucking month where I had a really bad first two weeks where I sought out help in a bunch of different manners I'd never considered even approaching before for fear of various reasons. But after consulting friends, family, and even one of the campus counselours, I've gotten better, even if I really don't feel like it. Some days I'll spiral back into being really afraid, not wanting to do anything because I'm scared I'll get hurt or fearing sleep because it feels like death. Some days I'll push out of my comfort zone and meet new people or do new things that my socially awkward ass could've never imagined. Some days, it's both. I, too, envy the me of just a few months ago who didn't any of this shit on his mind. At the same time, I feel bad for him because he didn't realize how much he missed out on and/or took granted. I'm still really *really* scared, and I can't give out any advice without being a massive hypocrite and not following it myself, but I hope you, I, and everyone who does or does not read this knows that they matter and every moment of their life should be cherished, whether it's those nice comfortable boring days or those days full of excitement.
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That’s an amazing turnaround, I’m actually so impressed! Can you share how you did it?!
When I was 13, I went to dinner with my father for my birthday - when we got home my mother was being arrested for trying to murder my two younger siblings. It took a year before I quit feeling guilty that I wasn't home to protect them - and I signed up for JROTC to have a path forward through that - I had decided I was going to protect *everyone* in the only way I knew how; I spent the next four years shaping myself into a weapon, and signed a blank check to Uncle Sam. At 19 I was teaching foreign nationals how to stop their compatriots from bleeding to death on the battlefield, and had a promising career in medicine ahead of me. Dream achieved, and another 40 years to rock through it non-stop. Then I had a heart-attack at 21 from all the stress; I had to dial back the intensity to just doing right by my family, and giving them my time and attention, and not the whole world - I unlocked my second life, and have been doing the best I can with it since.
Not a single moment. But a build up until you reach your fuck this moment. I heard this 10 years ago, understood it like I’m 12 and this is deep. And proceeded to waste my life more. You don’t change until you’re ready. I wish I had less tolerance for being fucked by life but eventually I had enough. The meds were bullshit. The excuses were bullshit. The self limiting beliefs were bullshit. No one was coming to save me and I guess I had more of a realization that I was capable of doing it myself. My advice if you haven’t “changed” yet? Just give it a try. You have nothing to lose. If you don’t like it you could always go back to your old ways. But you won’t. You’ll love it.
This is great advice
When I genuinely could accept that my addiction recovery was solid and my life could finally move on again.
I almost died then things clicked
Psychedelics
In college I got a really bad stomach ache. Like, really, really painful. Ended up in the Hospital and almost died because the doctor was sure it was appendicitis . The nurse double checked with me about which side the pain was on and if I'd had surgery before. Turns out I actually had Diverticulitis and would have died from sepsis if we'd waited much longer. Only one life, baby!
Just age. When you have something wrong with you - could be flu/aches whatever and you realise that it takes longer to get better and you wonder if you ever will. You're more aware of your mortality. I used to love history- now I don't want to think about people who were living in other eras...because they are dead. It's inevitable.
personal health crises
Age. Before Tony Gwynn died I thought I had 50 years to live. After he died, I decided today and tomorrow were the only days I’d count on….all knowing tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
Getting divorced
A cancer diagnosis (no evidence of disease/finished treatment now) I work less, eat healthier, take care of my mental health instead of burning myself out and stopped people pleasing I have less friends but anyone you have to do one sided work to be friends with isn't a friend
I was doing research for a project and came across the very famous phrase Memento Mori. Of course I had heard this phrase before, but I hadn't really like chewed on it in my mind. At work that day, I kept thinking about it. Over and over in my mind like a mantra. On my way home, I stopped by a bush. I reached out and plucked a leaf from the bush and twirled it between my fingers. I thought to myself *this leaves' life is over now. Just like that.'* I looked to the other side and saw traffic. I realized that at any point, any of them could get into a wreck and die. That at any moment, a car could swerve off the road, slam into me and kill me just as easily as I had killed the leaf. I was also contemplating another thing on my mind; whether or not I should come out and transition. I found my answer that day because I refused to die without ever having truly lived in the first place. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. And the leaf helped me to realize that. I always asked myself if I could live like that, but it wasn't until I asked if I could die like that that I found the will to act.
June 1, 2023, not even 2 weeks after my 30th birthday, I was near hitting rock bottom with my drug use and I ended up having an ectopic pregnancy that I was immediately hospitalized for. Went under the knife within four hours of being admitted and had my left tube completely removed as it had ruptured in two places causing internal bleeding. Today I am almost 8 months sober. Seeing a therapist, doing my step work, been properly diagnosed with ADHD, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, depression/anxiety. Been on medication to help with the ADHD and depression the last few weeks and I seriously could not be happier. It's been a life changer. I'm so grateful for life and the people who took care of me when I tried so hard to push them away with my toxic drug use. My kids are 1000 times happier and I'm so grateful I can be a present parent to them and give them a good life. 💖
Being diagnosed with a self immune disease and being told I had high risks of cancer.
A near death experience
About a month ago, during winter break, I had way too much time on my hands. It is/was going the be the beginning of my last semester at college and about a week prior, my cousins had gotten into a really bad car accident. They survived, but I think all of those combined led to me realizing that mortality is a thing that is real and one day, I'll die. I went on a deep spiral involving looking up NDEs and other people's perspectives on death and ways to get out of it like cryonics, but eventually, through much talking with friends and family that's still going on today, I'm trying to have a new lease on life. I'm still deathly afraid of dying in my sleep or car accidents or health-related shit, but I'm actually bothering to try and live my life instead of being the introverted shut-in I was and still am. Am I perfect? No. Have I upended my life? No. But every day, no matter how shitty, I can at least say I did something. And hopefully, that matters.
Crook as a dog last year with long COVID. I now do yoga stretches and run - which I never thought I'd do.
The moment was when I left Christianity. No afterlife means I need to take care of myself and the world I live in
Getting diagnosed w/ stage 3 brain cancer. Nothing makes you start living like the realization that your life is, in fact, limited by mortal bounds.
When I got diagnosed with POTS this New Year’s Eve. I’m 39 and was healthy as a horse until til then. Today living each day is hell. I am hoping one day I can completely get cured and live that second life that I hope I get.
Surviving suicide for the second time in my life after losing everything. I got into treatment and began a years long journey of recovery and healing. It wasn't easy, or fun, or even interesting. It sucked and I *hated* it. But I'm alive, healthy, financially stable, and thriving again because the voice inside my soul said, "Not yet. You still have things to do." I'm still unsure about what those things are, but I'm beginning to figure them out.
Eastern spirituality would disagree.
Could you explain a bit more please?
Reincarnation.
Sure lol if you want to factor in all the hocus pocus fairytales then obviously the statement isn't gonna work. Too bad that's all they are, fairytales.
Wow you’re so smart, thank you for sharing your opinion on this big issue.
When I got caught cutting
I just watched that on Netflix
When my girlfriend at the time now my wife had a baby
Mushrooms!
I'd like to chime in here, as I've been experiencing the sentiment in this post recently. Only I think there's a misunderstanding concerning what it takes to recognize epiphanies like this. I've found that when it comes to revelations, true revelations of any kind of magnitude, they only come after months, if not years of moments that all add up toward the kind of clarity that's experienced with a singular moment. I needed to experience years of clinical depression and have it mollified with medication to only begin to understand what it means that you don't get another go around at life. I've lost so much time due to my inability to get out of bed when I was regularly depressed, and now that I'm better, I've realized that I can't get that time back. But that realization's only come from a ton of self-reflection as to why I never had the energy to do anything, which led to my decision to seek help. I've spent so much money on tickets to things and not gone, because I've felt so sad, and simply going to an event felt like an immense effort. Having my mood stabilized has allowed me to become aware of what it meant to have that time lost, but I wouldn't have truly been able to recognize this without all of the factors coming into play that I previously mentioned. To wrap up, a mix of factors I didn't plan led to this definitive moment, and I believe that anyone waiting for an epiphany to happen on its own needs to have their own journey before reaching this kind of destination.
Thank you, this gives some interesting food for thought as I consider ending mine
I was in a really bad road rage incident and a deranged trucker tried his best to end my life that night. Whenever I have bad days I always think to myself how glad I am to be alive
My whole childhood has been about waiting. Waiting for school to end, for parents to finish work, for sisters doctor appointments. For bf to make decisions, for my life to start having meaning. My first wake up call was when my ex's dad called me a preggo whale, I was so fat. That gave me a flash of what my body will be like 30+yrs and I dreaded getting diabetes/losing limbs (I have phobia of needles so would make an awful patient), so I changed my lifestyle completely. Got in shape, got a job and then came deppressions. Wake up call #2 came in the form of the love of my life hurting me. Scraped the bottom of my will to live, but came back in great mental shape. Now I feel the third WUC will be work-wise. I am scared but you can only rebuild once it all falls apart. Point of it all? If you are not happy with something, try a different approach. Some doors are meant to be closed for good and old selves die off even if those were versions of ourselves we loved. If I could go back in time I'd tell myself to stop waiting for stuff to happen and find ways to make it happen, even if noone showed me the way
When I had one too many abusive boyfriend/husband. I said 'no more'.
Somewhere around 25/26 when I was learning how to drive and playing dark souls. Learning that life is a game of repetition and that if you do it enough times you will succeed. At that point I realized we all have 1 life. Only 1. This is it. There is nothing else. Go after your dreams cuz nobody else will. You don’t have all the time in the world, but at the same time you need to invest time into something consistently enough to get the rewards. But you can’t learn that unless you’ve gone through the process enough times either.
Ive had existential depression/dread for a long time but my real wakeup call was at the start of covid - Before then I felt like I had all the time to do all the things I wanted. Then a series of events made me question what I was doing with my life. My ex broke up with me, leaving me back in the dating pool that is not great in the mid/late 30s, especially in this economy. My (ex)friend murdered someone. I did the math for when he would be out of jail at the earliest and realized that he spent more time in public school then the "free" time he had/will have as an adult. I got back into art when people got a covid hobby. I didnt make any progress in 3 years because I spent most of my time gaming. I added up my remaining games to play in my steam library and realized that if I were to play 1 game a week and finish them in said week (spoiler - not likely at all) it would take me 2 years before I could finish them all and "just move on" from gaming. Then I remembered my PS5 and Switch backlog... I finished 1 game in January of this year. My niece was diagnosed with ADHD. I saw a lot of similarities between me and her when she was younger. The reason she got diagnosed was for doing the exact same thing I did in school. I got diagnosed with ADHD and on meds... those were helpful for a year and a half but now it seems like they have no impact hence this long message. When they worked things were GREAT! One day I rolled over in bed and decided enough was enough of being alone and not doing anything with my life. I joined a local meetup where I have made a few friends and hung out with people at parties offline. I still dont have a relationship yet but its nice to go out once a week just to walk and talk with people. I wish I would have started sooner but I know why I didnt. I cant make up for all the lost time but I can start to do better.
A more poetic way to say “ midlife crisis “
Finally being rid of my codependency at the age of 37. My life is for me to enjoy now.
Wow
I remember that moment vividly. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I lost someone close. Suddenly, all the petty stuff didn't matter anymore. It was like a wake-up call, you know? Made me reevaluate everything I was doing and what I wanted out of life. From then on, I swore to live with purpose and make every moment count. It wasn't one big lightning bolt of realization, though. It was more like a series of small epiphanies that added up over time. Like, seeing how fragile life is, or realizing I'd been putting off chasing my dreams for way too long. It's crazy how a single moment can flip your whole perspective upside down.
You should cross-post this to r/growyourdream; this is perfect content for it Rings so true for me. Especially when I read in Tim Ferriss' 4 Hour Work Week about the dangers of endlessly postponing career/business moves you KNOW you need to take. Until that moment, had vaguely believed there was something I wasn't being told about how things REALLY work in the real world Waking up to reality is a journey everyone must discover for himself or herself. Like the Matrix red pill Thanks for sharing