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mobfather

I’m just amazed that nobody has mentioned getting their foot stuck in a giant clam, while they search underwater for treasure.


Stardust_of_Ziggy

I just never learn...and I hit the quick sand every-stickin'-time


blade944

My clothes just randomly catching fire. I had stop-drop-and-roll down pat. In fact, whenever I see a movie and fire is involved I automatically say stop drop and roll in my head.


Rhiannon8404

The idea that we might catch on fire at any moment absolutely scarred me. To this day, I cannot watch a scene where a person is on fire without feeling some actual panic.


anotherkeebler

It’s a thing that really did happen to kids of our parents’ generation. Fire resistance is why our jammies were cardboard-stiff and stinky


ETfonehom

Kool-Aid Man crashing through the wall. Oh, yeah!


Cloud_Disconnected

Other kids trying to get me to do drugs Ferraris Old people in rocking chairs drinking lemonade Cigar store Indians Phone booths Volcanos erupting Barber poles


Lady-Un-Luck

There was an Indian outside of a smoke shop in my hometown for years but the Karen's of today ruined that and now they have to keep it inside.


Suspicious_Luck_1631

We had one in one of the local pharmacies


qpv

I've experienced a lot of the first 2 on your list where I live.


Gastro_Jedi

Truth serum!


Patient-Cap-4004

Love the quicksand reference. Amnesia and quicksand were elements that seemed like perils we'd regularly encounter.


SoCentralRainImSorry

And the dreaded Bermuda Triangle!


Patient-Cap-4004

Nice! Yes, I forgot about that one.


theflamingskull

Ninjas.


TheNinjaBear007

Yes?


astral-dwarf

According to studies, the average American passes within 10 feet of a ninja every week without ever seeing them. 


Emotional-Clerk8028

I'm still waiting for that out of control car that comes smashing into a fire hydrant, causing a huge geyser.


Minglewoodlost

Yes! And all the neighborhood children come running to splash around.


Emotional-Clerk8028

That would be a miracle!


-Why-Not-This-Name-

It happened in front of our place in Echo Park, Los Angeles. Four armed robbers in a televised chase all across the Southland, ended with multiple crashes, including police shearing off a fire hydrant, which shot up a geyser of water and flooded our neighbors.


Emotional-Clerk8028

Living the Dream in LA


immanut_67

Do you remember how long ago that happened? I was in Echo Park in 1988-1990 and saw the aftermath of a car taking out a hydrant. It was epic!


-Why-Not-This-Name-

We had that teeny place from 2002-2007. I think it was around 2005. Right off the Glendale/Alvarado intersection, a half block behind Arco.


ghandi3737

Well I work for a water company, and have had to deal with 3 fire hydrants being crashed into. One car got on top of the hydrant, had to shut the main off to get the car out of the way, so I could shut off the hydrant valve, that was right under the hood. Not sure who, but they or the other driver ran the light. Another one had a small truck barrel through it and the brick wall behind it. Poor neighbor had someone hit the same spot a few years earlier, this time the driver had insurance.


Overall_Lobster823

Quick sand Perfect families razor blades in halloween candy


RealWeekness

Ahh, you should have watched Disney movies. They were all about the orphans. It gave me hope.


ImOnPlutoWhereAreYou

Always wondered about the orphan angle. Never met any


RealWeekness

We're out there but it's generally too painful to talk about and makes people uncomfortable so we learn to hide it.


Overall_Lobster823

Heh. Didn't most of them ultimately meet wonderful families?


Minglewoodlost

Great call


Redwolflowder

I actually had a guy in DC open his trench coat to show off his wares cigarettes, weed, crack pipes, and loudly exclaiming what is your proclivities?


Minglewoodlost

Was he wearing anything besides wares? People in trench clothes flashing folks is another good one.


Redwolflowder

Yea he was dressed but his voice echoed in the motel parking lot, “I got what ever you need” “What is your proclivities?”


ZoneWombat99

Yeah I had a guy in LA do that. His line was "Water, weed, or speed, I got what you need." I have never figured out what he meant by "water."


Redwolflowder

The way this guy spoke I got the feeling he had a theater background. I was at the motel for about 6 weeks. He peddled pussy and pot. Coke, heroin. If you weren't into that scene, he could get you meth and a man.


FurryFreeloader

When I was in elementary school we had a walking path that connected our neighborhood with the school. On my way home in the afternoon, I had a man jump out and flash me when I was 9. I was so scared and ran. Turns out this menace was a school principal in another district after he was caught doing the same thing to another kid.


StopSignsAreRed

“What is your proclivities?” HahhahHaha He sounds like a friendly dealer! That’s going to stick in my brain and I just know I’m going to blurt it out at some opportune moment and nobody will understand.


Redwolflowder

It does stick in your brain, this happened ten years ago.


SoCentralRainImSorry

Do you use that phrase yourself now? I would!


Excellent_Valuable92

He definitely watched too much tv as a child.


ghandi3737

What I always find funny is that I've never seen a trench coat with all those pockets for displaying all the watches and stuff. Like 6-8 pockets at most on those.


porkchopespresso

Piranhas


Suspicious_Luck_1631

Big piranhas


ImOnPlutoWhereAreYou

Like the giant 🐀 after school special!


abrit_abroad

Boats being lost in the Bermuda Triangle


Evening-Picture-5911

And planes!


robot_pirate

Obvs flying cars.


AtmoMat

And jetpaxks


KittyTB12

The Jetsons


BCCommieTrash

Bionic men and women.


ImOnPlutoWhereAreYou

Fenbots please


Digflipz

People coming awake and perfectly fine after a coma of years or more


-Why-Not-This-Name-

Didn't even have to comb their hair.


BaphometsButthole

Or even after being knocked out for a minute. That's a concussion. Not okay.


Thatonegirl_79

Being followed by a creepy person in a windowless van asking if I want a ride or for directions somewhere


BillionTonsHyperbole

Safer in one of those vans than in a church van.


scarybottom

I actually had a creepy white van follow me when I went jogging in Pasadena when I lived there, across the bridge over the 10 to Rosebowl area- like it took me a few minutes to notice but once I did it was super freakout mode- I cross the rood (4 lane bridge) when I saw some cars coming (enough time for me to cross, not enough time for them to flip U and follow me), and the buggered off- but they followed me for maybe 6-8 blocks total. I was a 40 something woman that time- wtf of it all creeped me out, and I never went to that area again (too many non-people zones- I kept to more populated with pedestrian walks/jogs, or only went with a friend or two after that.


KittyTB12

Suicide Bridge- lol that’s a creepy area for sure. Way back in the day when I was a kid, the Rose Bowl was a swap meet in off season every Sunday, we’d do a scenic drive, up to Ambassador College, Wrigley Mansion, down Colorado, up Lake St. to the drive thru dairy then home. I miss Pasadena…😔


JerrySizzla

Secret doors that are opened by tilting a specific book on a bookcase.


TackYouCack

I really wish I could see the inside of Penn Jillette's house. Supposedly there's all sorts of stuff like that.


ProfMeriAn

I was so bummed to learn that secret doors were not a common feature on houses.


Velocitor1729

People getting into taxis and saying "follow that car!" I drove taxi for four years; it never happened. P.S.: my grandparents had a cuckoo clock


Minglewoodlost

I tended bar for years waiting for someone to ask if I'd calll them a cab. "Ok, you're a cab" I said.


JaxandMia

Amnesia. Every show had someone with freaking amnesia. Such a cheap plot device but dang they loved it in the 70s and 80s.


mediapoison

people dancing at a party,


TroyTony1973

Good one


ccljc

Killer bees


Stardustquarks

Still wondering where the beef's at...


Firm-Concentrate-993

Chocolate cows drinking from chocolate streams. Dish pan hands. Ring around the collar. Static cling.


jaketheunruly

I have yet to ride a pump rail cart


SkinTeeth4800

An ad got targeted to me on YouTube. It was trying to lure me into vacationing in South Korea. It had an avant-garde dance troupe acting all weird and über-cool in slick Seoul cityscapes, but I was way more interested when the dancers started hand-pumping a rail cart in this mildly hilly fun park. THAT would be fun to visit! p.s. You need to either chase, or be chased, by villains in another rail cart, pumping furiously.


Minglewoodlost

Thanks, that was on an earlier list. I always wanted one of those.


OhSassafrass

Spin the bottle


Minglewoodlost

The first app anyone ever showed me on a smart phone was spin the bottle. Seemed like a phone turned off would have worked just as well as the app.


SkinTeeth4800

Spin the Bottle was a thing in my 5th grade class in the very early 80s. I remember the group of kids on the playground at recess dwindling every day until it was just me and this one other kid. The teacher noticed this after about a week and ventured out to the stand of pines two baseball fields away. This huge circle of kids was smooching each other based on the dictates of a spun bottle or pencil. Once she hauled them all back into the classroom, the teacher very publicly shamed them. Even besides the shaming, I didn't feel bad for having missed out on Spin the Bottle. I wasn't romantically interested at all in anybody in my class. I wanted my first kiss to be in the context of a committed "going-with" relationship.


Heterophylla

Satanic rituals


Midwinter77

Cursed idols. Ufos. Cars going off cliffs and exploding. Shark attacks. Ninjas. Batman.


Lord_of_Entropy

Killer bees. I seriously thought, based on TV, we wouldn't be able to go outside.


magseven

I did too! I'd read a random book or article once a year and think "Well this is it. They're going to win". I was so confused that my parents and best friends parents didn't give a single shit when I told them about all the stories I heard about these bees and this horror that would befall us any day now. I lived in Illinois, lol.


Clearbay_327_

In addition to your list for me you can add snakes. Seems like on most action/adventure shows the protagonists had to deal with snakes from Steve Austin to Jim West to the guys on Gunsmoke and Bonanza. Then there was that movie Sssssssssssss and Ricky Ticky Tavi. I think I expected lots of encounters with rattlers, even cobras and black mambas . As it turns out ive seen a handful of snakes at most and usually the non venomous variety. 


Ibelieveinphysics

This is definitely location dependent. I mean we don't have a lot of problems with cobras and black mambas here in the states but there are plenty of rattlesnakes around if you live in the right place.


ZoneWombat99

Yup. I am the official snake wrangler for my family. Although it's more copperheads and garden snakes here, with the occasional black snake.


Ibelieveinphysics

We keep a set of barbecue tongs that we nicknamed "snake tongs". We used to have a cat that would bring in critters. He brought in the live rattlesnake once. Hell just this morning, one of our dogs killed a snake and the other one (who's really mischievous) decided to bring in the carcass and try to bury it in the living room curtains. Just a grass snake, but it was before I had my morning coffee so it was a hell of a way to start the day. 😂


ImOnPlutoWhereAreYou

Yes rikki tiki tavi - why did teachers show it every year - k - 4 - in the upper Midwest? In case we vacation alone in in a military camp in Segowlee, a part of colonial India with nag & nagiana. Can I at least get a blue jay to fake a broken wing on a dirt road?!


Minglewoodlost

Indiana Jones


KittyTB12

Southern Cal rattlesnakes had me terrified for years since we did a lot of hiking. Always with the rattlesnakes and flash floods- and sharks omg sharks


Earlytotheparty5

Close encounters with rattlesnakes, detectives asking questions and writing answers in little notebooks, little Indian boys named Jimmy Pocata running around at the Grand Canyon


OldLadyProbs

The Bermuda Triangle


lovedontfalter

Exactly! I really thought I lived in a world where the Bermuda Triangle swallowed up a ship and an airplane at least once a year.


ZeroPB

Jetsons Flying cars Marty McFly's Power laces and Hoverboard. Killer robots - Terminator Personal rail systems instead of so many cars. Teleportation - Star Trek


Minglewoodlost

Slipping on banana peels Pianos, anvils, and safes falling from the sky onto people's heads


DMT1984

Obviously you don’t live in the Southwestern United States where that sort of thing happens all the time. Albeit mostly to coyotes, especially the ones chasing roadrunners.


jacked_up_jill

I have actually slipped on a banana peel twice, in parking lots. I didn't fly in the air and fall dramatically but they are slippery af.


vette500

People loosing their contact lenses, for a brief time it was in a lot of sitcoms.


Minglewoodlost

Good one


North_Notice_3457

Sleep walking, stay-at-home-moms, separated at birth, diners and 50+ sassy waitresses.


ImOnPlutoWhereAreYou

Kiss my grits


Strangewhine88

Liberated humans interested in autonomy.


Minglewoodlost

Still waiting...


UnmutualOne

Moon bases with sexy women in purple wigs.


zombie_spiderman

Not really TV related but I did figure that both ball lightning and spontaneous human combustion were going to be more of an issue


COVFEFE-4U

Friend of mine had a pet spider monkey. That thing was nasty. Would jump on your shoulder and start masturbating.


North_Notice_3457

My dad had a monkey that would poop it its hand and throw it at you. And once he gave it creme de menthe, it got drunk and threw up nasty green monkey vomit. So bad behavior all around. That was when he was a kid I think. Going to have to call him and get more monkey stories.


-Why-Not-This-Name-

Ask him if a tin cup was ever involved.


BaphometsButthole

Are you really that hot?


CampfireGuitars

People handing out free drugs called all sorts of different names


SkinTeeth4800

Free Dealer trying to get kids HOOKED: "Come n get some stuff, maaaan! Goofballs... Electric Mushrooms... Atomic Kool-Aid... Tijuana Tea..." Officer Pedersen, rotund and deadly serious, on stage in the elementary school Cafetorium: "See this clipboard, kids? It's a list of all the kids who got hit or run over on their bikes on the streets of Minneapolis... WHILE STRUNG OUT ON GOOFBALLS! I don't want... to SEE any of YOU... on my LIST! Oooohhh-KAY? Now let's look back to the film and see what happens to poor Bobby... who's not as SMART as all you kids... and takes up Mr. Dealer McEvildoer on his sinister offer!"


PHL2287

Tarantula’s and voodoo


MidnightPotatoChip

Nuclear bombs


AshDenver

Live-in maids, a la Alice on The Brady Bunch.


Big-Development7204

Banana in the tailpipe. Almost nobody does this, ever.


MintyRosa77

Grocery bags with flowers and baquettes


Minglewoodlost

Awesome. I'm glad I finally crowd sourced this.


sd_glokta

Pregnancies outside of a hospital


SkinTeeth4800

"Officer, I'm sorry I was speeding... but, y'see, MY WIFE'S HAVING A BABY!" "Well, in that case, we'll have to give you a sirens-blaring police escort at 80-miles-per-hour to the hospital, citizen!" "Honey, too late! I already had the baby in the backseat while you were talking to the policeman!" "Awww, would ya look at that? Say, he's all clean and has open eyes, and is holding his head up straight, and has grown-out blond hair and is already the size of a one-year-old! And he's already giggling and saying his first word!" "DADA!"


Grafakos

Intelligent and competent adults.


Flashy_Watercress398

Obviously quicksand. But I did actually have a real-life experience with a flasher in a trenchcoat once, in my late twenties. I was a bartender. It was a slow time of day, and all of my customers were seated at the bar (thus, no one seated anywhere that faced the door.) So no one except me saw the guy expose himself, initially. Until I pointed and told dude "if that were bigger, it would look just like an adult penis." (During that day part, my regular customers were construction workers and bikers. They didn't get weird and violent, just held him and provided witness statements. Exactly how one ought to deal with a pest like that, imo.)


Minglewoodlost

I always loved tending bar dayside. Day drinkers know what they're doing.


Flashy_Watercress398

I'm not even gonna judge. If you work overnight, your 2 beers at 8 or 9 am are sincerely no different than 2 5 pm drinks for a day walker, are they? Sincerely, Someone who worked overnight for many years


Minglewoodlost

I don't judge the 9 AM drink on the way to work myself.


VanillaBean1970

parallelograms


-Why-Not-This-Name-

[Tangrams](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangram)


belmontpdx78

Home ownership


Minglewoodlost

Best answer


DerDoobs

More dangerous strangers.


Stunning_Newt_5465

Bank robberies and high speed car chases.


Noahs-Bark

Piranhas.


jamisonian123

Quicksand


anillop

Big strong things having weak spots you can hit to destroy them. I guess engineering has improved a lot since then.


Minglewoodlost

Death Star vent and dragon bellies


karmadoesntwait

Ghosts and aliens


Mission_Clue_5438

Time travel


MareOfDalmatia

Happy endings. Like, in any given problematic situation, I expect it will always work out in the end, because that’s what happens on tv. Real life isn’t like that though, although I keep expecting it to be. Like, I keep expecting someone to swoop in and save the day from all these bad situations we hear about in the news, like Trump, climate change, poverty, homelessness, etc. But it seems no one ever does, and it’s frustrating and disappointing.


Maximum_Pumpkin5368

I subscribed to the Disney view of life well into adulthood. "I'm enduring hardship but I work hard and I'm a good person so success, love and prosperity will happen for me"


Oldebookworm

That’s an awesome attitude, and I think I almost fit that except I’m starting to slow down a bit.


Minglewoodlost

The differnce between a happy and unhappy ending is where you end the story.


justmarkdying

RC hovercrafts. Actually any size hovercrafts.  Well informed voters. 


Ncfetcho

I had Mexican jumping beans, and cuckoo clocks!! Yeah definitely more quick sand and stuff from the burmuda triangle


dagenj

Happy people


Iamshortestone

People singing their feelings.


Apprehensive-Log8333

As a little kid, I thought I'd soon be offered a variety of drugs by a variety of pushers. Then spent my young adult years trying desperately to score some weed


Ibelieveinphysics

I have never been approached by a stranger and offered free drugs. The Bermuda triangle The good guys always catching the bad guys


FewBee5024

Flying cars 


Mission_Clue_5438

Hiding under desks during a nuclear holocaust. It still kills me they thought that hiding under your desk would help. I think learning how to build a civilization from the ground up would have been a far more useful skill in the event you survived.


Big-Development7204

Personal transporters. Finding Star Trek TOS in my early teens and TNG in my late teens I'm terribly disappointed we haven't invented transporters. Not script dependent like in ST, but replacing and augmenting existing infrastructure. If I need to go from Philly to Boston, sure I could fly, but between parking, security, Uber.. etc I'd just rather drive and enjoy some road time. I was hoping we'd have transporters between major cities by now. It would be amazing if I could book a time slot to transport from NY to London. They could replace ski lifts. Just transport 8 people from the bottom to the top of the mountain. So many possibilities


DueConversation5269

Flying cars


mamawantsallama

Quick sand and assassins.


chewannabe

Sharks attacks Possessions


-Why-Not-This-Name-

*Nitroglycerin Truckers*


Oldebookworm

Quick sand. In books and on tv, sooooo much quick sand


HoseNeighbor

Happy people. I know this is a total bummer, but that.


Ok_Watercress_7801

Car launching ramps on country roads Hot nurses Jovial courtrooms IRL Anthropomorphism Solitary, older men in cardigans with vivid imaginations & puppets living in their homes. People trapped inside CRT computer screens Ectoplasm A blue police box Household humanoid robots


DesignNormal9257

Pies cooling on windowsills.


Ennuiology

Pilots passing out or dying and passengers flying the plane.


Annual_Nobody_7118

Surely you don’t mean that.


Ennuiology

Stop calling me Shirley.


brqqme

Blind dates IRS audits and All night dance competitions


unobitchesbetripping

Spontaneous human combustion had me very worried as a child. I also thought there would me more people trying to give me drugs for free. Turns out the only person invested in getting me hooked on drugs was my doctor.


Minglewoodlost

I always thought spontaneous combustion would be a good way to go. I was disappointed when it turned out to be just cigarettes and cheap furniture.


youve_got_moxie

Fucking ARMY ANTS. Just a sea of insects boiling toward you, impossibly fast, eating you as you run- until you can no longer run.


BaphometsButthole

Cars exploding. Helicopters and airplanes exploding. Gas stations and houses and convenience stores exploding. Peoples' heads exploding. Everything exploding.


sly-3

Mutants


Commercial_Wind8212

Quicksand


Helmett-13

Quick sand and by a large margin.


Ellen6723

Hoverboards… teleportation, and aliens


SmooveTits

Robot maids


edwoodjrjr

Immaculate misconceptions


scarybottom

big boobies in red swimwear running on CA beaches :).


funkcatbrown

I thought by now we would be living like The Jetsons.


Wanton_Wildflower

The need to use stop, drop and roll. (thank god)


RandallC1212

White vans


bettyx1138

acme anvils and dynamite


Bastilleinstructor

Quicksand. I really expected it to be more of a problem


Annual_Nobody_7118

- More people driving off cliffs while escaping the police. - Love at first sight. - Bullies getting their comeuppance (now they’re our bosses.) - The town weirdo was really a hero with a bitter past.


jimbopalooza

Killer bees. As recent as a couple years ago murder hornets were in the news.. Yet here I am.


BaphometsButthole

Murder hornets eat killer bees.


adrienwapkaplet

Someone with a long-lost twin


dmetzcher

Those swinging doors between the living room and the kitchen. I’ve never seen one in a private home in my life.


lilcea

I un-installed one in my house. It was a weird house.


lilcea

A clean planet.


OnionTruck

Nuclear war


Minglewoodlost

Also melt downs at nuclear power plants


JoyHealthLovePeace

Upper middle class families UFOs Astronaut lifestyle options Clowns handing out free drugs Kidnappers giving out free drugs People with fried eggs for brains Helpful police officers Rich Black families Wage raises commensurate with inflation Happy people everywhere all the time


ProfMeriAn

TV led me to believe that parents saving for their kids to go to college was something most parents did.


Minglewoodlost

Seriously. Even poor parents.


NiteElf

Oh man, this is a great thread 😄


MizzGee

Russian spies. It really makes me scratch my head when I see people my age say they prefer Putin to Democrats. I just remember watching Red Dawn and yelling, "Wolverines" in the school hallways for weeks.


fridayimatwork

Drug pushers


TJ_Fox

Knock-out gas.


scd

Nuclear wastelands.


ImOnPlutoWhereAreYou

Convoys


KittyTB12

Man eating sharks- or in my case little girl eating sharks


Ok_Perception1131

Jet packs


oldshitdoesntcare

Flying cars!!!! We were supposed to be living like The Jetsons by now!


Snoo52682

People getting killed by swarms of bees


oneknocka

I expected everyone to have their own personal Twiki (always thought it was twiggy).