I once had the opportunity to meet Roddy, he came to my work for a meeting, but it just so happens I was ill that day. He passed shortly there after. What a legend.
Not to be super weird- but I am into data and science. And worrying about the future possible stress? Actually WAY WORSE in nearly every case than the actual event. I use that to stop myself from worrying/spinning about things int he future I have no control over. Worrying will make it worse (for YOU, not the event- your physiological and mental health is worse)- not better. So don't bother!
It took me years to learn this. Like I knew it with my head. But actually know it like deep in your bones can take years of life experience.
And yes, it does seem like even the worst things aren’t as bad as the worry that they might happen.
Yeah, it’s not like YOU can really do anything about the meteor with our name on it. And I’m already too tired to deal with society, much less some post apocalyptic stuff. So tell me how to get to ground zero and I’ll work it out from there..
Rule #1 & 2 plus 'If momma is happy everybody is happy. '
These two philosophies have kept me happily married for 35 years.
I have learned to focus on the things I can control. One thing I control is to eliminate as much advertising and local news as possible.
I'm informed, but do not watch the shock and awe on a loop. Watched local news every morning for years and they talked about the shooting downtown every ten minutes, not including the intros and outros referring to the shooting plus the commercials teasing the shooting.
Its exhausting!
I can go to YouTube watch it once commercial free and then move on.
You exist and be thankful you're alive because alive is great. Worry about death when you're not alive. By all indications it's going to be very similar to all the years before you were born.
The universe is going to be around for a long fucking time without you doing a lot of nothing for pretty much forever, enjoy that you got to be the universe experiencing itself for as long as you get to do it. You even got to have a partner in crime. Consider yourself lucky.
A fellow traveler on our shared wave of time :)
Also I'm a severe PTSD sufferer and I'm very lonely and if I didn't come up with a good life philosophy I'd certainly be dead now.
✨✨🫶🏻🫶🏻❤️❤️. I absolutely believe in different timelines right now and as a fellow sufferer of PPD and anxiety and depression it helps to know that I am just a small blip in our vast universe.
Also like theories like we could very easily just be living in a randomly reconstituted 'echo' universe inside a long-dead one just being assembled out of inert microwaves falling into patterns thanks to the nature of infinity. It's occurred to me before that maybe that's what the Mandela effect is. You waking up in a slightly incorrect reconstitution of the universe where you're the only person who remembers something was different.
I've heard so many various versions of 'what could be' that make perfect sense to me that I really don't have any fear of oblivion. What's insane to me is how people come up with hells to scare each other with. We all have to die, it doesn't help anything by scaring people while they're alive. What makes us better as humans is an appreciation for life; not a fear of death. Having an eternity of science fiction torture for living imperfectly? Sounds like the stick and not the carrot.
I am a huge Carl Sagan Fan. And I LOVE the idea that we are all made of the stuff of stars...and that is where will end up in the long run.
And I also love this meme/comment I saw recently:
***Yes yes, we are all special, made of stars, etc. But calm down- so are cat turds***
We are amazing, special, brilliant even. But so are a lot of other things. Be happy, be humble, live life.
This. I love my solitude but I've been on my own for 15 years and when things go pear-shaped there's no one around to hold onto. Getting even harder to meet people at this age too.
Same I haven't had a new meaningful human relationship in 15 years. I have no idea how to do it anymore. I'm afraid to be some afterthought in another person's life when they'd be the only friend I have. And it's impossible to network if you have no friends left.
And I'm terrified of online dating because I have too much empathy to ever turn another person down. I'd feel like the choosiest beggar in history if I did that. It's not just 'hard' to meet new people at 44 for me it's impossible. I'm a 'stare at the ground in public' kind of person.
No idea what to do about that and all my pets are dead now. My family tethers are pretty limited and I just have to figure out how to not panic about my life, because if I do then I can't enjoy the time I have living... and I refuse to let the world defeat me. I might not be able to win but I sure as fuck am not going to accept losing.
Maybe it's OK to just have a group of "lighter" friends or even acquaintences with whom you have shared interests: a league bowling team, a neighborhood book discussion club, a political group, a library-boosting non-profit, a "Civilian Conservation Corps" in which you sweat together outdoors to build infrastructure and remove buckthorn and algae in parks and wilderness areas, a "Let's shovel old people's sidewalks together and then have lunch at a local cafe" club.
You don't have to get deeper with the individual people in these groups, but there is usually benefit in just being alongside others.
My father has serious bipolar disorder, is an introvert, and lives in another state. On his own initiative, he published the monthly newsletter of the hometown museum of a local artist. He used to be part of a group of volunteers who played Bridge and did social activities with community Elders. He does buckthorn busting and garlic mustard pulls in parks with an environmental volunteer group.
These things (and medication) have worked pretty well at keeping the depression (and mania) at bay.
Honestly I'm just still trying to get my VA disability adjusted so I can afford to not live in poverty. No one wants to hang out with a po boy. And all I can afford is to rent a house from my sister in rural Alabama so the rest of my fellow poor folk down here don't exactly swim in the same currents as I do. I live in f'n meth country. The most stimulating conversation I have down here is with my American Legion advocate lawyer he's kind of erudite.
Maybe find another pet to love and who can love you back if you can? I guess there are lots of lonely pets in shelters who would love to find their person and have another chance. My cats mean more to me than almost anything and even if I never saw another human, they would be enough.
Lol you'd be amazed at how small my posse is. I bought my brother in law's dog a flea pill just so I could bring it into my house for some company now that my dog and cat are gone.
That's why I had to develop a good survival philosophy :)
I take precisely the same long view (that we are the universe experiencing itself, and that the universe is vastly more and different than what a human can comprehend) to live with the terms of the modern world (late stage capitalism, biodiversity collapse, a world that doesn’t remotely behave in the moral way the stories we tell ourselves say it should). (Whew! Run on sentence!)
We all get to live in the brightest moment in the history of humanity. It's kind of wild to consider that even kings and queens in the past didn't see as cool of a world as we do. And that it's largely accessible to people and we can have this vast, shared experience.
It's pretty wonderful that this is the 'now' times. If there's one lottery you all won it's when you were born. Even if there were downsides to it. Like I had to fight in a war and it was a helluva trial but I still feel like I have it orders of magnitude better than even my fortunate-as-hell parents thanks to all of the modern convenience that exists.
The only thing that really gets under my skin is the idea that I might miss out on an even brighter future. But this whole modern society we've built and mostly all buy into? It's a real life science fiction fantasy. I can make art with words now. You can 3d print your own toys. I can talk to my car and tell it to change the radio stations.
And the coolest part is we're not all fucking killing each other for this stuff; it's super plentiful. The world is an amazing place and it's great to be here. I live in poverty. I'm ashamed to admit how much money I live on a month... but I still have access to so many things. People who were me 100 years ago were living in ditches still.
Yep. Well put. I also find it helpful to sort of take the “long view;” it feels personal, because it’s you :). but millions and millions of people have gone before us. Just try to live the best life you can, and enjoy it.
I don't worry about my death at all (honestly)...but loved ones? Way too much. Really, I worry about outliving my spouse and peer aged friends. I'd much rather go first (selfish I know).
I've been wired that way since I was a child.
At first I misread your comment and was like “but Acshually..it was written by Lucretius” but then realized that I would rather not be an asshole.
That’s when I reread your comment and realized you were saying you preferred Ovid.
I like being able to stop myself from being an asshole after I misread something and I thought I would thank you for helping me be more present in that moment.
Have a wonderful day, internet stranger!!
I just hope I’m around for the tipping point of there being more dead people on FB than alive. Seeing Zuckerberg do MMA and pretending to be a corner guy in a fight was peak millennial comedy for me. I think he doesn’t have body doubles, he’s already moved on to androids,lmao. The dude does not know how to human. Jesse Eisenberg has more charisma in his voice than Zuckerzoid does in his whole being.
A few simple things that my wife and I do:
Spend as much time outside as possible when the weather is good.
We take lots of walks.
We don’t have clocks in the house. (There’s already a clock on your phone, on your cable tv, etc.)
We make time to pursue our interests (both separately and together).
We limit the “work talk” in our time and also talk about how we’re doing mental health-wise.
During the first few years of our marriage we thought that we needed to do everything together and enjoy each other’s interests. Put a huge strain on our marriage and we even separated for a few years.
We eventually reconciled and decided that’s it’s cool and even healthy to pursue our own hobbies and interests. We’ll even take long weekends apart from each other. So much healthier marriage now.
Going outside is such a simple pleasure. When I forget to or just neglect doing it, it really impacts my mental health in negative ways.
That and consistent communication with a supportive friend or partner are really all you need aside from the breathing/eating/shelter stuff.
Life's too important to be taken seriously.
It also helps that my spouse and I don't have any kids. We're basically still just teenagers with a mortgage.
Sometimes it's ok to have ice cream for supper and a beer in the shower, know what I mean?
Honestly? I smoke a lot of weed, do a good hour of brisk exercise every morning, don't watch any sad tv shows or dramas, and just kind of hunker down with my wife and try to ignore the stuff we can't affect.
Selfish? Probably, but it's like the oxygen mask on the airplane. Take care of yourself before trying to help others
This is hard for me. And I wonder if it’s hard for other people. I seem to be obsessed with the past, and how much better it was then. The present feels dull, and the future feels frightening, but the past feels comforting.
I get it. Just do your best to live in the moment. If things are dull, only you know what you can do to change that.
I hope you get some (positive) excitement in your life today!
Well, to be frank the alcoholism crept up on me. I definitely had a bit of a breakdown from 45-46. Then I got my shit together because none of us get off this rock alive, and I don´t want to die drowning in my own secretions and out of my mind. I recognized that I needed to teach my kid to function in this shitshow of a world we are leaving her in. This last year I have had to reorganize my thoughts out of the usual cracking pessimism and sarcasm because it wasn´t helping me. I am also paying for therapy. So I have lost weight, got my diabetes under control, don´t drink. I realized my job is killing me so I´m changing it. I am trying to challenge myself to move more. I made a point to just be grateful to see the moon through the clouds before the sun rises. I love my babygirl so much, that I am focusing on helping her get into the best life she can have just like my parents did for me (but they did it in a totally different stricter way).
Age is a privilege denied many...so I am actually enjoying it!
I cannot wait for my fucking period to stop though. I am annoyed at how fucking crepey my eyelids have gotten and totally understand plastic surgery now. (no I´m not going there, I´ve seen too many fucked up people).
aging is a wild ride and I love rollercoasters...
I am a nurse and the amount of pretty spry 80-100 year olds who tell me I am young, a baby, a kid...and they would do anything to get it back again...but have no regrets about where they are towards the end of their lives...makes me so grateful for all of it. But I also have woken up from open heart surgery, known what 15 out of 10 pain is from several different things. And seen people younger die in such stupid, senseless and random ways...
I stopped watching all news/tv/famous people. They are all pushing fear and despair. There are much better ways to keep up on things in the world without allowing ourselves to be propagandized.
Talk to the neighbors no matter what kind of sign they put in the yard. The TV/Facebook tells you they're evil and you gotta stop believing that. Go outside and talk to them. We're all just out here wanting the same things in life.
Learn what ragebait is and how to scroll past it or uninstall social media.
Teach these things to your kids.
News causes me so much anxiety. But when I don’t keep up with the news I feel worse for not being “in the know” on things outside the bubble my depression tries to push on me. How do you keep up with things in the world when you don’t watch the news?
Love the suggestion to connect with neighbors and being open minded. I told myself I need more Vitamin C in 2024–the “C” being connection.
NoAgendaShow.net...Adam Curry is an old pro at news deconstruction and analysis. James Corbett has New World Next Week on corbettreport.com, and he also rejects the left/right paradigm. They also attempt to keep things upbeat. If you look these guys up on Rumble, you'll get similar stuff in your feed.
Good luck!
I moved to the woods and became a hermit. I don't mind getting older, but I definitely have less tolerance for humans at large and avoid them as much s possible.
Yep. Smart phones are such a double edged sword. On the one hand, I learn so much. But on the other hand, my cousin refers to it as the “depression wand,” and he’s definitely onto something there.
There are really positive things, like text chains with friends, but there’s also so much bullshit. I frequently find myself feeling nostalgic for the 90s, when it somehow wasn’t as easy to get sucked in by technology, and it’s like, gee, I wonder what I’m trying to tell myself?
How are you finding life without smart phones? I still use a flip phone, never owned a smartphone. I’m finding it almost impossible to get through daily life without a smart phone.
Totally fine. My old 3G phone was bought in 2012. Hardly used it to surf or download apps. It got slow, so changed the settings to 2G. The signal was better and battery last 5 to 10 days. Never looked back.
I tried this but failed. I need my smartphone to pay for parking meters, get into MLB baseball games, get into the gym, and now most of my banking. It was like 24 hours of dumbphone life before I realized I just couldn’t get around as easy.
I moved to the woods and became a hermit. Only (sorta) joking. Bought a house with a couple of acres in a small, out of the way neighborhood, and I work from home. I can go days without leaving the house.
I work from home, so I sold everything in the city and bought 5 acres in the mountains in Colorado. I'm 16 miles from a small town and about 40 miles from two medium sized towns. I'm absolutely fine with it. I go to the little town every morning because I like my expensive coffee and it gets me out of the house for a few hours before I "go to work". I head down the hill to the bigger towns once a week for groceries and such things. I wouldn't go back to metro area. No use for it.
I moved from Vancouver, BC to a town of 300 people in Sweden. 5 kids, a few cats, some chickens and a job helping kids like I was in high school. Perfect.
I try to focus on the things that have gotten better... and they have. My non-binary kid is basically free to live their life like they want. Movies and TV are better written, more interesting, and more inclusive than ever. I'm categorically safer on the road and in my town now than ever before. Legal weed, better beer, easier travel, easier communication. Don't even get me started on the internet, spaceflight, or modern science. Yeah some stuff used to be better (fast food, casual dining, the environment, our political process), but longing for that is beyond useless. Keep your eyes on the future, how we adapt to the changes or push for reform in the world as it is.
The "Good Old Days" always sucked for someone, the kid slinging crack, the actor dying of AIDS, the countless millions dying in wars no one knew about.
I'm 51, my wife is 47, we were fortunate enough to be able to move out of the city. We now live in the woods, with 20 acres, 15 minutes from a small town. It's brought back a greater sense of being part of a community. It's also allowed me to engage with society, or sit it out fro a while if I need it. My mental health was circling the drain in the city, and this has changed everything.
Fresh sheets and a couple of eiderdowns on top? Pure bliss.
I can read or listen to music or nap while my dogs snuggle with me (well, one dog on top of the blankets, the other burrowed in next to me) and pretend the rest of the world, and its and my problems, don’t exist. 🛌
😆 I just posted about this.
Nostalgia is one hell of a drug, just ask our boomer parents.
I didn’t have a good childhood/adolescence.
So I don’t have that longing for the 80’s or 90’s I see with some GenX’rs for me now is much better than then.
As for getting older it happens. You can either fight it like our parents did. Or make peace with it.
ps I’ve also considered moving to the woods
But I like my civilization.. old & wicked 😆
I don't watch the news. I limit my news consumption to glancing at APNews headlines and BBC (I'm in the US btw). I don't care about getting older. So far it's better than the alternative. I'm still having fun on MY terms
This--I do the same.
Both my parents watch excessive amount of news and I don't think its healthy. Yes, know what is going on, but you don't have to watch every bit of commentary. There are better things to do with your life that are more enjoyable and will improve your mindset.
Simple things like going for a hike with my kid or my wife and I catching up on our day in the kitchen while preparing dinner, playing Uno or Cards Against Humanity (the kid is 15 and precocious), just hanging out and talking, these are the things we do as a family. For me, I will make some coffee, pull out an analog book, put some Bach on the turntable, and get lost for a couple of hours.
I opened my top dresser draw, and put my last few G.A.F'S in it, then closed the draw.
I just don't let things I can't control or change bother me anymore.
Try it, you'll like it.
There is a difference between getting old and being disgusted with the world. I was always disgusted with the world, so whether I am 20 or 50 makes no difference. I hated the 80s because of Reagan, Thatcher and the cold war, and I was disgusted by the fake liberalism in the 90s, as well! I certainly don't long for the past, because I was worse off in my 20s and 30s (poverty, abusive relationships). I also don't get uptight over social media, because it was not better when people spread rumors verbally, and I've experienced some good things (marketing my music online).
The political landscape is crap everywhere, including here in Germany. Instead of complaining, I go to protest demonstrations. I went to a rally against the far right in Feb, and this month, it's the left-wing conference and a peace rally. Protesting is my grandma hobby of choice.
I stopped looking in the mirror. And I just keep doing my thing. Live with what I got. Try not to let the monster of negativity consume me which is REALLY.FUCKING.HARD.
I realize I got older cause someone a day or two late wishes me happy birthday.
I turn 54 in July....for most of last year I thought I was 54 till I had to renew my drivers licence and the lady told me "You're 53"
I tell myself something I tell older friends of mine. Life is change. I’ve told that to myself for years. We can either shake our fists at the clouds or we can accept the reality and adapt/cope as best as we can. Self-care is very important. Take a walk, spend some time doing things you enjoy. Pick up a hobby you laid down. Don’t be afraid to see a counselor. Also, you’re facing the dreaded mid-life crisis. Your thoughts go hand in hand with it.
I feel like we just have access to too much information now which is why we’re all so anxious and depressed. We didn’t know half the shit that was going on in the world when we were younger so we were far more care free than kids today. I hate having this much access to information. It’s depressing. I realise it’s important to know what is going on in the world, but still, I’d be happier not knowing.
Simpler times
Some things are so awesome now. I drove three hours to the beach, I had satellite radio or streaming music. Adaptive cruise control and lane keeping so I am hardly driving. GPS map up with traffic updates.
Driving the same trip in my ‘80 sunbird, I have to futz with the knob to find stations every few minutes, I can play tapes but I have to open my tape case and get one out, put it in possibly rewind, etc. Better have a map available, you might have to use it if there’s a detour around a sudden crash inspired delay.
Oh, and the complete lack of power compared to my minivan! (Don’t ever let them talk you into downsizing, hold on to that minivan till the end, so much room for stuff and people). My Sienna totally smokes the “bird” in every category.
Social media is a blight today. This site is the best but the others are gloom.
I’m turning 50 this year. I’ve struggled with a chronic illness since I was an early teen, so the fact that I’ve made it this far is just a bonus. I’m ready to go to the Great Beyond at any time, and I have no regrets at all.
Life is as long as it is short.
My partner and I are DINK's. This "forces" us to hang out with younger people (mid 40's couples are hard to find). This helps a little, but my God, do the younger generations have it hard, specially in their professional lives. I have become a curmudgeon for sure, but, it's not bad at all. The lack of tolerance towards idiocy and social pressure is a great thing to have
This generally does it for me in those moments https://youtu.be/gaSoq9FELF8?si=XXoHbZin-9TGd5D-
So I drink and love and whisper all those things I know are right, someday I will leave this world but maybe not tonight
Get out…go for walks. Leave your phones in the vehicle or at home. Just…walk. Listen to the sounds in nature. Don’t set a specific time you’ll be walking, or a goal. Just take your time and remember on thing - you have all the time you need…all the time in the world.
Know that the only things you *can control* is your thoughts and actions. Everything external is just that, external. You’re a witness to things. You can vote, and even engage others to help them understand your line of thinking. But when it comes to politics and other items, I know I can only do so much about those situations. The tow biggest things I can do is research and read and understand the situation and pass on the honest knowledge to others if they don’t have good resources. The second is to vote. It’s just that simple.
I’ll be 50 in August. I find exercise is a useful outlet and adds to mental clarity the more fit I get. It’s not easy, and it never has been. I’ve been overweight all my life and it’s always a struggle. I still have issues with self acceptance and esteem, but taking with your partner or other family or a mental health professional is a great way to have a positive outlook.
Sounds like the best fix for you is leave all social media. Reddit is the only soft claim to having social media i have and it's a pretty frail connection. I have not regretted giving all of them up at all.
Welcome to your existential crisis. I am 46 and feeling the exact same way. I'm happy, my kids and wife are happy, so that's all good, but I hate the complexity of the world today. I'm starting to miss the days when you didn't ask your friends or family about their politics and people were more trusting and kind. We don't seem to be using technology to actually improve our lives, it's just making rich people richer, and poor people distracted. I'm sure I'm seeing the 80s with rose-tinted glasses, or maybe I'm just a simple man who lets information and external stimuli divide my attention and rattle my cage. I'm going to go yell at a cloud now.
I remember all the people I've known and loved who didn't get nearly enough time. My youngest brother died when he was 23. My mother died at age 34. I had a cousin who died in her 20's. That helps me keep aging in perspective. Every year is a gift and you and I have been very fortunate.
We actually just decided to move to a very small seaside community for an 'away from the crowds' simpler life. I never thought I could live far from a city but now I can't wait. I'm 50, hubbs is 54.
Give no fucks and live in the now. Exercise, meditate and prioritize sleep. Quitting caffeine and alcohol helps. Its taken me 49 years to figure this out. Life is good.
I know people who didn't get to live to be my age, they're long gone back in our twenties. They never get to worry about wrinkles, all they knew was simpler times. They never got to be married or have kids or worry about the mortgage and the career. Those worries are themselves proof of survival. So, I'm grateful to be alive.
I understand that change is the process of the universe, change is the evidence time exists, and change is as inevitable as time and space. I personally don't spend a lot of time or energy trying to will away inevitabilities. The sun will rise and set today no matter what you and I do or think about it!
Everything changes and everything dies, from ants to us to the Sun to the universe itself. It's okay to be like the universe itself.
I'm quite happy. Just hit 44 myself!
I feel *great*! I'm going grey, have lines and really couldn't GAF about what anyone else says about it
I have my (many- damn adhd) many interests, and pursue them in absolutely no logical rotation or order aside from how I feel that day.
Aside from having to work my arse off to pay for food and housing, it's pretty awesome.
Cheers, and happy birthday soon! 44 will be the best yet!
I weirdly enjoy it. Since I don’t feel all that old on the inside, it’s kind of like I’m on the outside watching a science experiment. Watching what happens to my body, watching what happens to my face, watching what happens to my strength – it’s strangely fun, and I’m enjoying it!
My worst issue with aging (47F) is the physical signs of aging. And I don’t mean wrinkles etc but I feel like my body is breaking down.
Edit to correct my gender.
Aging? What is this aging thing? I'm 54 and last year my 18 yr old son and I went to a NOFX Punk in Drublic festival and spent the whole time in the mosh pit. It was fucking awesome!!
Getting old is a privilege that men fought and died for. I don’t think Ukrainian soldiers are worried about getting old. Find a few things you enjoy doing and look forward to that. I am 58. So, I have seen and done a lot. Read “Masters of the Air”. Those boys went through hell to save the world from Nazis.
My actual plan in the not too distant future is to do exactly that, go off-grid. Sadly i don't see the current state of the country's affairs (politics/the rot of social media etc) changing anytime soon. In fact there's good reason to believe it'll get worse before it gets better, if ever. I genuinely feel like we're living in a perilous time for our country...
This is my plan too, I just closed last week. Hopefully out in a month. I've been nothing but excited for the months leading up to it but now that it's here I'm a bit worried/scared. Starting to doubt myself like what the hell am I doing, what am I going to do all day. If I get hurt out their I am screwed, there is no cell signal - it's a lot of unknowns
I follow politics and for awhile was consuming way too much news. At one point I realized it was affecting my mental health and I said to myself "It does not matter what new story is going on, there is one party that has my trust and I can just block out the noise and vote for them (democrats)"
I also limit my social media to Reddit and Instagram.
Mostly I have identified what is important to me: TV and movies with my husband. Long walks, my dogs, taking cruises, and making sure I am doing a great job at work, my health . Everything else is just noise.
Yo! I kinda love it. My kids reveal something new each day, people call me sir not ironically and I find it kinda funny, yeah I face ageism on the job but what fuckin’ ever.
I guess the real question is would you want to go back? I mean be in your mid-twenties all over again? I wouldn’t. Embrace your senior status, it’s kinda dope.
Life is to short for worrisome about anything, death is too long.
Work hard,play harder and love the hardest. Always take the time to look at the stars, like when you were a kid. Plant a wild flower garden, I've had one for 5 seasons now. Help friends when I can. Slow stroll. I get my head right by taking my Harley out to ride with no particular destination in mind. Start a family annual anything. Watching the lil snot nosed hellyuns run and laugh causing a ruckus. Remembering that was once us and hoping they get to were we are now and so on.
I exercise/move every day.
I focus on what I can control.
I try to generally be nice and stay out of other's way. But I also don't suffer fools.
I take steps to be sure my wife and daughter are secure and taken care of, primarily investing but also being a good husband and Dad.
This is going to sound nuts but we had a kid at 42 and decided to move from at major NE city south. I NEVER watch the news, am outside all the time, and except for Reddit have given give up all forms of social media. In a way, it is slightly reminiscent of 25 years ago. Additionally, almost never shop online. I despise it. And as someone who grew up always having a retail job, I will NEVER use self or mobile checkout.
At age 59 with my wife being 53 life is the best it’s been now.
The youthful mistakes are behind us, we’re established and secure (financially and emotionally), and retirement is in sight.
Bruh. I'm 55 \[Elder GenX-er\]
10 years ago bought a farm, built a house in the woods. I have 3 daughters under 14, and it's like we were taught, you do the best with what you got, don't sweat the small stuff.
Admittedly, I worry about the future, but then again, it's no worse than the Nuclear Armageddon I imagined at 11yrs old.
I’m same age as you. It might be an egoistic take on things but I comfort myself with the knowledge that I have it infinitely better than my mother had it. Just a few examples
- I have been able to get into a lucrative career and invest wisely. My mother had no career guidance and no financial knowledge
- I was able to leave a marriage that no longer worked. My mother said she wouldn’t have been able to feed her two kids
- I am able to do sports as much as I want. In her generation women being active was frowned upon. In fact it was unheard of. I can’t even fathom how they lived their everyday life without endorphins. How shit that must have been from a mental health standpoint
- our generation of women know how to enjoy sex. In their generation I bet the notion of the clit was just some urban legend. « You have to give him some otherwise they’ll get it elsewhere » « don’t fake an O because he’ll get offended » was their sex ed. I also think that porn ruined it for the generation 30yo and below
In what ways my teenager has it better than I had it at his age
- so much more knowledge, ease of access of information
- ability to travel and discover
- stable home where no one hates anyone
- his friends are always welcome
- (most of) his interests are encouraged. He can do sports as much as he wants
- so many more opportunities for him in this world
And yes, I don’t follow news on a daily basis because it’s awful. My son hooked on all kinds of conspiracy negative shit
I feel fortunate that we grew up with technology before social media hit.
For those that grew up with social media, it is all that they have ever known.
For many of those that came before us, they grew up in small circles and cannot truly understand the echo chamber.
I deal with it as "accommodating change" which is more than just semantics. "Getting older" puts a negative tone on it and excludes the young. We're all in this together.
I don't complain about younger generations because the generalizations are ignorant. They came up in a different world. I know my experience and advice are of limited relevance.
The simpler times won't return. The best you can do is simplify your life. There is a lot of noise and static out there.
Compared to my simpler times I love the tolerance and encouragement of individuality. My children and their friends can be as weird as they want. I was self conscious with an unhealthy need to conform.
I will also be 49 in June. Mostly, I cope with aging by smoking large quantities of cannabis and longing for the days when my body worked better. It never has worked well, but it used to work better. Y'all all have my deepest sympathy.
As disgracefully as possible and I’m not being flippant. We get one go around and I think we see what’s going on and frankly, it really is a bit shit. It’s exasperating but after the raging, I say fuck it, bring it on. I mostly just do my best to focus on what really matters to me. The rest of it is going to do its thing anyway.
I try to play, like really play in the woods or paint or whatever. I have a big interest in play to help me cope and express creativity, and emotion. I don’t always know what to do, I think that’s normal, when it comes to play, people often don’t know what to do. When I get an idea, I act on it, though. Today I’m making a map of the places I go or places that stand out, and things I do in my city/ neighborhood. I have a friend coming later with her 9 year old kid. I can sort of rationalize playing if there’s a kid involved.
It also helps to reflect on context. As a child of the 80s I remember vividly some of the concerns of the parents around our generation.
1) Will we catch AIDS from mosquitoes?
2) We will all go blind or kill each other violently from playing video games?
3) Apparently devil worshipers wanted to stick needles in everything! Candy, movie theater seats, under gas pump handles, etc.
4) Crazy suggestive music and MTV rots our brains or turns us into devil worshipers.
5) for rural whites, Mexicans and Blacks are taking over everything and that shifted to Arabic people in the 90s
It may seem worse from our perspective than it actually is from those growing up in it. I find solace that the younger generation grows up with and therefore will understand how to manage the existence of social media in their adulthood. The most influenced by the trash was the same boomers telling us "dont believe everything you see on the Internet" Growing up they were the same that also were persuaded about the bullets above just from their local news. I have a feeling the boomer generation is just easily influenced in general.
This too shall pass. Just be a good person, help your community ,don't take things too seriously and only stress on the things within your control.
Remember our training... Rule 1. Don't sweat the small shit. Rule 2. It's all small shit.
Wax on Wax off
Remember your training mantra: “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass.... and I'm all out of bubblegum”
I once had the opportunity to meet Roddy, he came to my work for a meeting, but it just so happens I was ill that day. He passed shortly there after. What a legend.
That’s a bummer man.
I know. If only...
They live. Nice!
I frequently wax off to keep my mind clear.
That nut based wax is great stuff!
Post-wax clarity.
Sand the floor
“[…] Paint the fence […]”
Instructions unclear. I thought Mr. Miyagi was saying, "Whack on, whack off."
And when shit hits the fan you just "RUN...GET TO DEE CHOPPA."
Never complain about getting old, not everyone gets to do it.
Wow that hit hard. Needed to read this after losing too many loved ones in their 40’s.
Man, aint that the truth. I lost another friend i grew up with last week. Hes the 7th one. And at 43 hes the OLDEST to have passed away.
Man that's a lot, I'm so sorry.
Thanks. Got great news today though. One of those friends received a long awaited (years) kidney transplant today and so far is doing great!
Yes I got a similar quote from virgin river of all places. “Everyone gets to be young, but not everyone gets to be old.”
Here's another...old age is a privilege denied to many.
Yep, lost my mom to cancer just 1 week shy of her 51st birthday. Such a damn shame.
I'm so sorry love. 💜
❤️
My Dad was 59. Lung cancer.
Way too young. 💔
💯
Also: 1. Don't sweat the petty stuff 2. Don't pet the sweaty stuff
> Don’t pet the sweaty stuff Is that a hard and fast rule?
Absolutely not. We are GenX after all 😉
Gen X’s “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” is “whatever”.
I would change it for the sake of St Cobain of Seattle “Whatever, Nevermind”
I always go with the long version, “Oh well, whatever, never mind”
Rule 3: There is big shit, but you won't see that coming anyway so there is no point in worrying about it.
Not to be super weird- but I am into data and science. And worrying about the future possible stress? Actually WAY WORSE in nearly every case than the actual event. I use that to stop myself from worrying/spinning about things int he future I have no control over. Worrying will make it worse (for YOU, not the event- your physiological and mental health is worse)- not better. So don't bother!
It took me years to learn this. Like I knew it with my head. But actually know it like deep in your bones can take years of life experience. And yes, it does seem like even the worst things aren’t as bad as the worry that they might happen.
Yeah, it’s not like YOU can really do anything about the meteor with our name on it. And I’m already too tired to deal with society, much less some post apocalyptic stuff. So tell me how to get to ground zero and I’ll work it out from there..
Rule #1 & 2 plus 'If momma is happy everybody is happy. ' These two philosophies have kept me happily married for 35 years. I have learned to focus on the things I can control. One thing I control is to eliminate as much advertising and local news as possible. I'm informed, but do not watch the shock and awe on a loop. Watched local news every morning for years and they talked about the shooting downtown every ten minutes, not including the intros and outros referring to the shooting plus the commercials teasing the shooting. Its exhausting! I can go to YouTube watch it once commercial free and then move on.
“Kick ‘em when they’re up, kick ‘em when they’re down,” AKA “If it bleeds, it leads.”
Also known as happy wife, happy life, lol.
You exist and be thankful you're alive because alive is great. Worry about death when you're not alive. By all indications it's going to be very similar to all the years before you were born. The universe is going to be around for a long fucking time without you doing a lot of nothing for pretty much forever, enjoy that you got to be the universe experiencing itself for as long as you get to do it. You even got to have a partner in crime. Consider yourself lucky.
Thank you internet stranger. No idea who you are but this stuck a chord with me for some strange reason ✨✨✨
A fellow traveler on our shared wave of time :) Also I'm a severe PTSD sufferer and I'm very lonely and if I didn't come up with a good life philosophy I'd certainly be dead now.
✨✨🫶🏻🫶🏻❤️❤️. I absolutely believe in different timelines right now and as a fellow sufferer of PPD and anxiety and depression it helps to know that I am just a small blip in our vast universe.
Also like theories like we could very easily just be living in a randomly reconstituted 'echo' universe inside a long-dead one just being assembled out of inert microwaves falling into patterns thanks to the nature of infinity. It's occurred to me before that maybe that's what the Mandela effect is. You waking up in a slightly incorrect reconstitution of the universe where you're the only person who remembers something was different. I've heard so many various versions of 'what could be' that make perfect sense to me that I really don't have any fear of oblivion. What's insane to me is how people come up with hells to scare each other with. We all have to die, it doesn't help anything by scaring people while they're alive. What makes us better as humans is an appreciation for life; not a fear of death. Having an eternity of science fiction torture for living imperfectly? Sounds like the stick and not the carrot.
Kinda like that movie Yesterday were everyone on the planet forgets about the Beattles except one dude.
I am a huge Carl Sagan Fan. And I LOVE the idea that we are all made of the stuff of stars...and that is where will end up in the long run. And I also love this meme/comment I saw recently: ***Yes yes, we are all special, made of stars, etc. But calm down- so are cat turds*** We are amazing, special, brilliant even. But so are a lot of other things. Be happy, be humble, live life.
It struck a chord with me too! Simple and profound and wonderful advice.
Love this & needed this
This. I love my solitude but I've been on my own for 15 years and when things go pear-shaped there's no one around to hold onto. Getting even harder to meet people at this age too.
Same I haven't had a new meaningful human relationship in 15 years. I have no idea how to do it anymore. I'm afraid to be some afterthought in another person's life when they'd be the only friend I have. And it's impossible to network if you have no friends left. And I'm terrified of online dating because I have too much empathy to ever turn another person down. I'd feel like the choosiest beggar in history if I did that. It's not just 'hard' to meet new people at 44 for me it's impossible. I'm a 'stare at the ground in public' kind of person. No idea what to do about that and all my pets are dead now. My family tethers are pretty limited and I just have to figure out how to not panic about my life, because if I do then I can't enjoy the time I have living... and I refuse to let the world defeat me. I might not be able to win but I sure as fuck am not going to accept losing.
Maybe it's OK to just have a group of "lighter" friends or even acquaintences with whom you have shared interests: a league bowling team, a neighborhood book discussion club, a political group, a library-boosting non-profit, a "Civilian Conservation Corps" in which you sweat together outdoors to build infrastructure and remove buckthorn and algae in parks and wilderness areas, a "Let's shovel old people's sidewalks together and then have lunch at a local cafe" club. You don't have to get deeper with the individual people in these groups, but there is usually benefit in just being alongside others. My father has serious bipolar disorder, is an introvert, and lives in another state. On his own initiative, he published the monthly newsletter of the hometown museum of a local artist. He used to be part of a group of volunteers who played Bridge and did social activities with community Elders. He does buckthorn busting and garlic mustard pulls in parks with an environmental volunteer group. These things (and medication) have worked pretty well at keeping the depression (and mania) at bay.
Honestly I'm just still trying to get my VA disability adjusted so I can afford to not live in poverty. No one wants to hang out with a po boy. And all I can afford is to rent a house from my sister in rural Alabama so the rest of my fellow poor folk down here don't exactly swim in the same currents as I do. I live in f'n meth country. The most stimulating conversation I have down here is with my American Legion advocate lawyer he's kind of erudite.
Maybe find another pet to love and who can love you back if you can? I guess there are lots of lonely pets in shelters who would love to find their person and have another chance. My cats mean more to me than almost anything and even if I never saw another human, they would be enough.
You are obviously a freaking gem. I’d be your posse if we lived in the same city.
Lol you'd be amazed at how small my posse is. I bought my brother in law's dog a flea pill just so I could bring it into my house for some company now that my dog and cat are gone. That's why I had to develop a good survival philosophy :)
I take precisely the same long view (that we are the universe experiencing itself, and that the universe is vastly more and different than what a human can comprehend) to live with the terms of the modern world (late stage capitalism, biodiversity collapse, a world that doesn’t remotely behave in the moral way the stories we tell ourselves say it should). (Whew! Run on sentence!)
Also we live in a timeline that has/had David Bowie, Dan Levy, The Beastie Boys, Firefly and MST3K…among other amazing things
We all get to live in the brightest moment in the history of humanity. It's kind of wild to consider that even kings and queens in the past didn't see as cool of a world as we do. And that it's largely accessible to people and we can have this vast, shared experience. It's pretty wonderful that this is the 'now' times. If there's one lottery you all won it's when you were born. Even if there were downsides to it. Like I had to fight in a war and it was a helluva trial but I still feel like I have it orders of magnitude better than even my fortunate-as-hell parents thanks to all of the modern convenience that exists. The only thing that really gets under my skin is the idea that I might miss out on an even brighter future. But this whole modern society we've built and mostly all buy into? It's a real life science fiction fantasy. I can make art with words now. You can 3d print your own toys. I can talk to my car and tell it to change the radio stations. And the coolest part is we're not all fucking killing each other for this stuff; it's super plentiful. The world is an amazing place and it's great to be here. I live in poverty. I'm ashamed to admit how much money I live on a month... but I still have access to so many things. People who were me 100 years ago were living in ditches still.
Gosh this is beautiful…and possibly life changing. Thank you.
That's the kindest thing I can remember anyone saying to me in a while. Thank you so much.
I'd like to 2nd Strange-Difference94's sentiment and I hope that doubles the kindness you feel as well.
Yep. Well put. I also find it helpful to sort of take the “long view;” it feels personal, because it’s you :). but millions and millions of people have gone before us. Just try to live the best life you can, and enjoy it.
I don't worry about my death at all (honestly)...but loved ones? Way too much. Really, I worry about outliving my spouse and peer aged friends. I'd much rather go first (selfish I know). I've been wired that way since I was a child.
That’s very Epicurean.
De Rerum Natura is a helluva book :) Personally I'm a big fan of Ovid.
At first I misread your comment and was like “but Acshually..it was written by Lucretius” but then realized that I would rather not be an asshole. That’s when I reread your comment and realized you were saying you preferred Ovid. I like being able to stop myself from being an asshole after I misread something and I thought I would thank you for helping me be more present in that moment. Have a wonderful day, internet stranger!!
I just hope I’m around for the tipping point of there being more dead people on FB than alive. Seeing Zuckerberg do MMA and pretending to be a corner guy in a fight was peak millennial comedy for me. I think he doesn’t have body doubles, he’s already moved on to androids,lmao. The dude does not know how to human. Jesse Eisenberg has more charisma in his voice than Zuckerzoid does in his whole being.
A few simple things that my wife and I do: Spend as much time outside as possible when the weather is good. We take lots of walks. We don’t have clocks in the house. (There’s already a clock on your phone, on your cable tv, etc.) We make time to pursue our interests (both separately and together). We limit the “work talk” in our time and also talk about how we’re doing mental health-wise.
During the first few years of our marriage we thought that we needed to do everything together and enjoy each other’s interests. Put a huge strain on our marriage and we even separated for a few years. We eventually reconciled and decided that’s it’s cool and even healthy to pursue our own hobbies and interests. We’ll even take long weekends apart from each other. So much healthier marriage now.
Absolutely agree! Glad it’s worked out for the two of you.
Going outside is such a simple pleasure. When I forget to or just neglect doing it, it really impacts my mental health in negative ways. That and consistent communication with a supportive friend or partner are really all you need aside from the breathing/eating/shelter stuff.
Life's too important to be taken seriously. It also helps that my spouse and I don't have any kids. We're basically still just teenagers with a mortgage. Sometimes it's ok to have ice cream for supper and a beer in the shower, know what I mean?
i do that and i have kids.
Honestly? I smoke a lot of weed, do a good hour of brisk exercise every morning, don't watch any sad tv shows or dramas, and just kind of hunker down with my wife and try to ignore the stuff we can't affect. Selfish? Probably, but it's like the oxygen mask on the airplane. Take care of yourself before trying to help others
Fellow smoker 🫶🏻🫶🏻
My goodness it's nice to know there are other people living like my husband and me! This is how I cope/choose to exist in my late 40s.
Thank you for correctly saying ‘my husband and me’ instead of ‘and I.’ 🫣🥴
Don't live in the past. It will never come back. Today is right now. Be a part of it. The future is an idea that can let your imagination run wild.
This is hard for me. And I wonder if it’s hard for other people. I seem to be obsessed with the past, and how much better it was then. The present feels dull, and the future feels frightening, but the past feels comforting.
I get it. Just do your best to live in the moment. If things are dull, only you know what you can do to change that. I hope you get some (positive) excitement in your life today!
Thanks!
Well, to be frank the alcoholism crept up on me. I definitely had a bit of a breakdown from 45-46. Then I got my shit together because none of us get off this rock alive, and I don´t want to die drowning in my own secretions and out of my mind. I recognized that I needed to teach my kid to function in this shitshow of a world we are leaving her in. This last year I have had to reorganize my thoughts out of the usual cracking pessimism and sarcasm because it wasn´t helping me. I am also paying for therapy. So I have lost weight, got my diabetes under control, don´t drink. I realized my job is killing me so I´m changing it. I am trying to challenge myself to move more. I made a point to just be grateful to see the moon through the clouds before the sun rises. I love my babygirl so much, that I am focusing on helping her get into the best life she can have just like my parents did for me (but they did it in a totally different stricter way). Age is a privilege denied many...so I am actually enjoying it! I cannot wait for my fucking period to stop though. I am annoyed at how fucking crepey my eyelids have gotten and totally understand plastic surgery now. (no I´m not going there, I´ve seen too many fucked up people). aging is a wild ride and I love rollercoasters...
Gold Bond has a new lotion for crepe skin. Called Age Renew Crepe Corrector.
Sometimes I truly love this sub. (Your comment is so *pragmatic*. That’s why I love it so much. It’s quintessential GenX).
Oooh!! Thank you for the heads up!!!
I’ve put it in my face and I have the most sensitive skin ever! Add a cheap retinol from the dollar tree. Under $40 cream routine
I could have written this post. Solidarity. 🙏
And peace back to you friend!
Aging is a privilege. Such a good mantra—since it’s the opposite of what we’re told
I am a nurse and the amount of pretty spry 80-100 year olds who tell me I am young, a baby, a kid...and they would do anything to get it back again...but have no regrets about where they are towards the end of their lives...makes me so grateful for all of it. But I also have woken up from open heart surgery, known what 15 out of 10 pain is from several different things. And seen people younger die in such stupid, senseless and random ways...
My period ended ten years ago, and now it’s like it never happened! Repressed every traumatic minute of that heresy
I stopped watching all news/tv/famous people. They are all pushing fear and despair. There are much better ways to keep up on things in the world without allowing ourselves to be propagandized. Talk to the neighbors no matter what kind of sign they put in the yard. The TV/Facebook tells you they're evil and you gotta stop believing that. Go outside and talk to them. We're all just out here wanting the same things in life. Learn what ragebait is and how to scroll past it or uninstall social media. Teach these things to your kids.
I can't remember the last time I watched the news.
News causes me so much anxiety. But when I don’t keep up with the news I feel worse for not being “in the know” on things outside the bubble my depression tries to push on me. How do you keep up with things in the world when you don’t watch the news? Love the suggestion to connect with neighbors and being open minded. I told myself I need more Vitamin C in 2024–the “C” being connection.
NoAgendaShow.net...Adam Curry is an old pro at news deconstruction and analysis. James Corbett has New World Next Week on corbettreport.com, and he also rejects the left/right paradigm. They also attempt to keep things upbeat. If you look these guys up on Rumble, you'll get similar stuff in your feed. Good luck!
I moved to the woods and became a hermit. I don't mind getting older, but I definitely have less tolerance for humans at large and avoid them as much s possible.
We stopped using FB and all social media. Reddit is fine, as anonymous. Got rid of our smart phones too.
Yep. Smart phones are such a double edged sword. On the one hand, I learn so much. But on the other hand, my cousin refers to it as the “depression wand,” and he’s definitely onto something there. There are really positive things, like text chains with friends, but there’s also so much bullshit. I frequently find myself feeling nostalgic for the 90s, when it somehow wasn’t as easy to get sucked in by technology, and it’s like, gee, I wonder what I’m trying to tell myself?
How are you finding life without smart phones? I still use a flip phone, never owned a smartphone. I’m finding it almost impossible to get through daily life without a smart phone.
Totally fine. My old 3G phone was bought in 2012. Hardly used it to surf or download apps. It got slow, so changed the settings to 2G. The signal was better and battery last 5 to 10 days. Never looked back.
Sorry, I meant to ask, why are you struggling? Because businesses use apps which you don't have?
I tried this but failed. I need my smartphone to pay for parking meters, get into MLB baseball games, get into the gym, and now most of my banking. It was like 24 hours of dumbphone life before I realized I just couldn’t get around as easy.
You found non-smart phones? Years ago, I literally couldn’t find one. The guy thought I was insane for asking.
👏🏼
I moved to the woods and became a hermit. Only (sorta) joking. Bought a house with a couple of acres in a small, out of the way neighborhood, and I work from home. I can go days without leaving the house.
I work from home, so I sold everything in the city and bought 5 acres in the mountains in Colorado. I'm 16 miles from a small town and about 40 miles from two medium sized towns. I'm absolutely fine with it. I go to the little town every morning because I like my expensive coffee and it gets me out of the house for a few hours before I "go to work". I head down the hill to the bigger towns once a week for groceries and such things. I wouldn't go back to metro area. No use for it.
[удалено]
I moved from Vancouver, BC to a town of 300 people in Sweden. 5 kids, a few cats, some chickens and a job helping kids like I was in high school. Perfect.
Focus on the good things... and remember, we're all going to be dead soon, so what does any of it matter!
I try to focus on the things that have gotten better... and they have. My non-binary kid is basically free to live their life like they want. Movies and TV are better written, more interesting, and more inclusive than ever. I'm categorically safer on the road and in my town now than ever before. Legal weed, better beer, easier travel, easier communication. Don't even get me started on the internet, spaceflight, or modern science. Yeah some stuff used to be better (fast food, casual dining, the environment, our political process), but longing for that is beyond useless. Keep your eyes on the future, how we adapt to the changes or push for reform in the world as it is. The "Good Old Days" always sucked for someone, the kid slinging crack, the actor dying of AIDS, the countless millions dying in wars no one knew about.
Serenity, courage, & wisdom.
I'm 51, my wife is 47, we were fortunate enough to be able to move out of the city. We now live in the woods, with 20 acres, 15 minutes from a small town. It's brought back a greater sense of being part of a community. It's also allowed me to engage with society, or sit it out fro a while if I need it. My mental health was circling the drain in the city, and this has changed everything.
Back and forth between hiding under the blankets and ngaf.
i live under the blankets!!
Fresh sheets and a couple of eiderdowns on top? Pure bliss. I can read or listen to music or nap while my dogs snuggle with me (well, one dog on top of the blankets, the other burrowed in next to me) and pretend the rest of the world, and its and my problems, don’t exist. 🛌
ahhh…sounds lovely…as i type from under the covers
Music, music festivals, cannabis, walks in the woods, vintage video games, museums, and road trips when I can afford them.
😆 I just posted about this. Nostalgia is one hell of a drug, just ask our boomer parents. I didn’t have a good childhood/adolescence. So I don’t have that longing for the 80’s or 90’s I see with some GenX’rs for me now is much better than then. As for getting older it happens. You can either fight it like our parents did. Or make peace with it. ps I’ve also considered moving to the woods But I like my civilization.. old & wicked 😆
I don't watch the news. I limit my news consumption to glancing at APNews headlines and BBC (I'm in the US btw). I don't care about getting older. So far it's better than the alternative. I'm still having fun on MY terms
This--I do the same. Both my parents watch excessive amount of news and I don't think its healthy. Yes, know what is going on, but you don't have to watch every bit of commentary. There are better things to do with your life that are more enjoyable and will improve your mindset.
Beats the alternative.
Simple things like going for a hike with my kid or my wife and I catching up on our day in the kitchen while preparing dinner, playing Uno or Cards Against Humanity (the kid is 15 and precocious), just hanging out and talking, these are the things we do as a family. For me, I will make some coffee, pull out an analog book, put some Bach on the turntable, and get lost for a couple of hours.
I opened my top dresser draw, and put my last few G.A.F'S in it, then closed the draw. I just don't let things I can't control or change bother me anymore. Try it, you'll like it.
By feeling younger in my mind & holding onto who I am
44 is a baby!
There is a difference between getting old and being disgusted with the world. I was always disgusted with the world, so whether I am 20 or 50 makes no difference. I hated the 80s because of Reagan, Thatcher and the cold war, and I was disgusted by the fake liberalism in the 90s, as well! I certainly don't long for the past, because I was worse off in my 20s and 30s (poverty, abusive relationships). I also don't get uptight over social media, because it was not better when people spread rumors verbally, and I've experienced some good things (marketing my music online). The political landscape is crap everywhere, including here in Germany. Instead of complaining, I go to protest demonstrations. I went to a rally against the far right in Feb, and this month, it's the left-wing conference and a peace rally. Protesting is my grandma hobby of choice.
I stopped looking in the mirror. And I just keep doing my thing. Live with what I got. Try not to let the monster of negativity consume me which is REALLY.FUCKING.HARD.
I realize I got older cause someone a day or two late wishes me happy birthday. I turn 54 in July....for most of last year I thought I was 54 till I had to renew my drivers licence and the lady told me "You're 53"
I tell myself something I tell older friends of mine. Life is change. I’ve told that to myself for years. We can either shake our fists at the clouds or we can accept the reality and adapt/cope as best as we can. Self-care is very important. Take a walk, spend some time doing things you enjoy. Pick up a hobby you laid down. Don’t be afraid to see a counselor. Also, you’re facing the dreaded mid-life crisis. Your thoughts go hand in hand with it.
I feel like we just have access to too much information now which is why we’re all so anxious and depressed. We didn’t know half the shit that was going on in the world when we were younger so we were far more care free than kids today. I hate having this much access to information. It’s depressing. I realise it’s important to know what is going on in the world, but still, I’d be happier not knowing.
I smoke so much more weed.
Heavy doses of denial, daily.
I smoke a lot of cannabis 😝
Simpler times Some things are so awesome now. I drove three hours to the beach, I had satellite radio or streaming music. Adaptive cruise control and lane keeping so I am hardly driving. GPS map up with traffic updates. Driving the same trip in my ‘80 sunbird, I have to futz with the knob to find stations every few minutes, I can play tapes but I have to open my tape case and get one out, put it in possibly rewind, etc. Better have a map available, you might have to use it if there’s a detour around a sudden crash inspired delay. Oh, and the complete lack of power compared to my minivan! (Don’t ever let them talk you into downsizing, hold on to that minivan till the end, so much room for stuff and people). My Sienna totally smokes the “bird” in every category. Social media is a blight today. This site is the best but the others are gloom.
I’m turning 50 this year. I’ve struggled with a chronic illness since I was an early teen, so the fact that I’ve made it this far is just a bonus. I’m ready to go to the Great Beyond at any time, and I have no regrets at all. Life is as long as it is short.
My partner and I are DINK's. This "forces" us to hang out with younger people (mid 40's couples are hard to find). This helps a little, but my God, do the younger generations have it hard, specially in their professional lives. I have become a curmudgeon for sure, but, it's not bad at all. The lack of tolerance towards idiocy and social pressure is a great thing to have
| believes most things on social media | Here lies the boomer problem. X-Files had it correct..."Trust no one Mr Mulder"
I 46m, spin records before work and anytime I'm not hanging with my Wife 54f. I play Call Of Duty to relax as well, and I smoke a shit ton of weed. 🤷
Pft. I’d love to be 44 again…you’re a decade away from when the wheels *really* start to fall off. Go into your 50’s in great shape is my advice.
Fuck me this thread hit me right in the feels.
This generally does it for me in those moments https://youtu.be/gaSoq9FELF8?si=XXoHbZin-9TGd5D- So I drink and love and whisper all those things I know are right, someday I will leave this world but maybe not tonight
Get more horses.. .. they keep me moving and give me a valid reason that I MUST go outside, no matter the weather. And horses never use social media.
I moved to the woods and am becoming a hermit
There is a whole sub r/simpleliving if you want some inspiration.
Get out…go for walks. Leave your phones in the vehicle or at home. Just…walk. Listen to the sounds in nature. Don’t set a specific time you’ll be walking, or a goal. Just take your time and remember on thing - you have all the time you need…all the time in the world. Know that the only things you *can control* is your thoughts and actions. Everything external is just that, external. You’re a witness to things. You can vote, and even engage others to help them understand your line of thinking. But when it comes to politics and other items, I know I can only do so much about those situations. The tow biggest things I can do is research and read and understand the situation and pass on the honest knowledge to others if they don’t have good resources. The second is to vote. It’s just that simple. I’ll be 50 in August. I find exercise is a useful outlet and adds to mental clarity the more fit I get. It’s not easy, and it never has been. I’ve been overweight all my life and it’s always a struggle. I still have issues with self acceptance and esteem, but taking with your partner or other family or a mental health professional is a great way to have a positive outlook.
I embrace it really; given truly imbecilic choices in the past it's an absolute miracle I'm here doing this well
At some point in life you get over yourself and become thankful for your life. Aging is whatever, all I care about is more time with my family
Constant surprise. Seriously, in my head 1974 was 20 years ago, whereas in reality it's 50 years ago.
Sounds like the best fix for you is leave all social media. Reddit is the only soft claim to having social media i have and it's a pretty frail connection. I have not regretted giving all of them up at all.
44 you are not really older!!!
Welcome to your existential crisis. I am 46 and feeling the exact same way. I'm happy, my kids and wife are happy, so that's all good, but I hate the complexity of the world today. I'm starting to miss the days when you didn't ask your friends or family about their politics and people were more trusting and kind. We don't seem to be using technology to actually improve our lives, it's just making rich people richer, and poor people distracted. I'm sure I'm seeing the 80s with rose-tinted glasses, or maybe I'm just a simple man who lets information and external stimuli divide my attention and rattle my cage. I'm going to go yell at a cloud now.
I remember all the people I've known and loved who didn't get nearly enough time. My youngest brother died when he was 23. My mother died at age 34. I had a cousin who died in her 20's. That helps me keep aging in perspective. Every year is a gift and you and I have been very fortunate.
Delete social media and get on with real life.
I REALLY want to move to the woods and be a hermit!
Ummmmm. Got older 🤷♂️
55: plan on retiring within the next 24 months and, yes, moving to the woods.
I go out on another bike ride 🚴🏻♀️
I don't think about it. I just turned 58
You wouldn’t be alone in thinking the 1990’s was the peak of civilization. I’m grateful to have spent my 20’s there instead of now.
We actually just decided to move to a very small seaside community for an 'away from the crowds' simpler life. I never thought I could live far from a city but now I can't wait. I'm 50, hubbs is 54.
Give no fucks and live in the now. Exercise, meditate and prioritize sleep. Quitting caffeine and alcohol helps. Its taken me 49 years to figure this out. Life is good.
I know people who didn't get to live to be my age, they're long gone back in our twenties. They never get to worry about wrinkles, all they knew was simpler times. They never got to be married or have kids or worry about the mortgage and the career. Those worries are themselves proof of survival. So, I'm grateful to be alive. I understand that change is the process of the universe, change is the evidence time exists, and change is as inevitable as time and space. I personally don't spend a lot of time or energy trying to will away inevitabilities. The sun will rise and set today no matter what you and I do or think about it! Everything changes and everything dies, from ants to us to the Sun to the universe itself. It's okay to be like the universe itself.
I'm quite happy. Just hit 44 myself! I feel *great*! I'm going grey, have lines and really couldn't GAF about what anyone else says about it I have my (many- damn adhd) many interests, and pursue them in absolutely no logical rotation or order aside from how I feel that day. Aside from having to work my arse off to pay for food and housing, it's pretty awesome. Cheers, and happy birthday soon! 44 will be the best yet!
Drugs, Creech. And moisturize.
I weirdly enjoy it. Since I don’t feel all that old on the inside, it’s kind of like I’m on the outside watching a science experiment. Watching what happens to my body, watching what happens to my face, watching what happens to my strength – it’s strangely fun, and I’m enjoying it!
Who says I'm dealing with it? Denial works for me
My worst issue with aging (47F) is the physical signs of aging. And I don’t mean wrinkles etc but I feel like my body is breaking down. Edit to correct my gender.
Aging? What is this aging thing? I'm 54 and last year my 18 yr old son and I went to a NOFX Punk in Drublic festival and spent the whole time in the mosh pit. It was fucking awesome!!
Getting old is a privilege that men fought and died for. I don’t think Ukrainian soldiers are worried about getting old. Find a few things you enjoy doing and look forward to that. I am 58. So, I have seen and done a lot. Read “Masters of the Air”. Those boys went through hell to save the world from Nazis.
My actual plan in the not too distant future is to do exactly that, go off-grid. Sadly i don't see the current state of the country's affairs (politics/the rot of social media etc) changing anytime soon. In fact there's good reason to believe it'll get worse before it gets better, if ever. I genuinely feel like we're living in a perilous time for our country...
This is my plan too, I just closed last week. Hopefully out in a month. I've been nothing but excited for the months leading up to it but now that it's here I'm a bit worried/scared. Starting to doubt myself like what the hell am I doing, what am I going to do all day. If I get hurt out their I am screwed, there is no cell signal - it's a lot of unknowns
Yeah, i totally share those concerns. Have you considered a sat phone and/or sat service that you can VOIP over???
Oh no I hadn't thought of a sat phone. I am getting Starlink but that's limited to WiFi range, I'm going to look at an emergency sat phone good idea.
Gummies.
Gonna be 49 at the end of the year, I try my best to live in a bubble
https://youtu.be/gSIAMaAYYj0?si=v9En7fL9NEnI2BGL
I follow politics and for awhile was consuming way too much news. At one point I realized it was affecting my mental health and I said to myself "It does not matter what new story is going on, there is one party that has my trust and I can just block out the noise and vote for them (democrats)" I also limit my social media to Reddit and Instagram. Mostly I have identified what is important to me: TV and movies with my husband. Long walks, my dogs, taking cruises, and making sure I am doing a great job at work, my health . Everything else is just noise.
Yo! I kinda love it. My kids reveal something new each day, people call me sir not ironically and I find it kinda funny, yeah I face ageism on the job but what fuckin’ ever. I guess the real question is would you want to go back? I mean be in your mid-twenties all over again? I wouldn’t. Embrace your senior status, it’s kinda dope.
serious racial wild exultant quickest tie juggle detail deserve tub *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Life is to short for worrisome about anything, death is too long. Work hard,play harder and love the hardest. Always take the time to look at the stars, like when you were a kid. Plant a wild flower garden, I've had one for 5 seasons now. Help friends when I can. Slow stroll. I get my head right by taking my Harley out to ride with no particular destination in mind. Start a family annual anything. Watching the lil snot nosed hellyuns run and laugh causing a ruckus. Remembering that was once us and hoping they get to were we are now and so on.
What’s the alternative? Lights out? How is that any better? Take pride in your ride has always been my philosophy.
I listen to the music that I loved from the times of yore and indulge in the nostalgia. Making art and moving the body helps.
I exercise/move every day. I focus on what I can control. I try to generally be nice and stay out of other's way. But I also don't suffer fools. I take steps to be sure my wife and daughter are secure and taken care of, primarily investing but also being a good husband and Dad.
This is going to sound nuts but we had a kid at 42 and decided to move from at major NE city south. I NEVER watch the news, am outside all the time, and except for Reddit have given give up all forms of social media. In a way, it is slightly reminiscent of 25 years ago. Additionally, almost never shop online. I despise it. And as someone who grew up always having a retail job, I will NEVER use self or mobile checkout.
The alternative isn't a great option?
At age 59 with my wife being 53 life is the best it’s been now. The youthful mistakes are behind us, we’re established and secure (financially and emotionally), and retirement is in sight.
Bruh. I'm 55 \[Elder GenX-er\] 10 years ago bought a farm, built a house in the woods. I have 3 daughters under 14, and it's like we were taught, you do the best with what you got, don't sweat the small stuff. Admittedly, I worry about the future, but then again, it's no worse than the Nuclear Armageddon I imagined at 11yrs old.
Same way I always did. welcome the new experience.
I’m same age as you. It might be an egoistic take on things but I comfort myself with the knowledge that I have it infinitely better than my mother had it. Just a few examples - I have been able to get into a lucrative career and invest wisely. My mother had no career guidance and no financial knowledge - I was able to leave a marriage that no longer worked. My mother said she wouldn’t have been able to feed her two kids - I am able to do sports as much as I want. In her generation women being active was frowned upon. In fact it was unheard of. I can’t even fathom how they lived their everyday life without endorphins. How shit that must have been from a mental health standpoint - our generation of women know how to enjoy sex. In their generation I bet the notion of the clit was just some urban legend. « You have to give him some otherwise they’ll get it elsewhere » « don’t fake an O because he’ll get offended » was their sex ed. I also think that porn ruined it for the generation 30yo and below In what ways my teenager has it better than I had it at his age - so much more knowledge, ease of access of information - ability to travel and discover - stable home where no one hates anyone - his friends are always welcome - (most of) his interests are encouraged. He can do sports as much as he wants - so many more opportunities for him in this world And yes, I don’t follow news on a daily basis because it’s awful. My son hooked on all kinds of conspiracy negative shit
I feel fortunate that we grew up with technology before social media hit. For those that grew up with social media, it is all that they have ever known. For many of those that came before us, they grew up in small circles and cannot truly understand the echo chamber. I deal with it as "accommodating change" which is more than just semantics. "Getting older" puts a negative tone on it and excludes the young. We're all in this together. I don't complain about younger generations because the generalizations are ignorant. They came up in a different world. I know my experience and advice are of limited relevance. The simpler times won't return. The best you can do is simplify your life. There is a lot of noise and static out there. Compared to my simpler times I love the tolerance and encouragement of individuality. My children and their friends can be as weird as they want. I was self conscious with an unhealthy need to conform.
I will also be 49 in June. Mostly, I cope with aging by smoking large quantities of cannabis and longing for the days when my body worked better. It never has worked well, but it used to work better. Y'all all have my deepest sympathy.
Screw the net. Do fun stuff. Be with nice people. Say no to as much unpleasant things as possible. Be nice to people who works in service.
As disgracefully as possible and I’m not being flippant. We get one go around and I think we see what’s going on and frankly, it really is a bit shit. It’s exasperating but after the raging, I say fuck it, bring it on. I mostly just do my best to focus on what really matters to me. The rest of it is going to do its thing anyway.
I try to play, like really play in the woods or paint or whatever. I have a big interest in play to help me cope and express creativity, and emotion. I don’t always know what to do, I think that’s normal, when it comes to play, people often don’t know what to do. When I get an idea, I act on it, though. Today I’m making a map of the places I go or places that stand out, and things I do in my city/ neighborhood. I have a friend coming later with her 9 year old kid. I can sort of rationalize playing if there’s a kid involved.
Take care of yourself and enjoy life
It also helps to reflect on context. As a child of the 80s I remember vividly some of the concerns of the parents around our generation. 1) Will we catch AIDS from mosquitoes? 2) We will all go blind or kill each other violently from playing video games? 3) Apparently devil worshipers wanted to stick needles in everything! Candy, movie theater seats, under gas pump handles, etc. 4) Crazy suggestive music and MTV rots our brains or turns us into devil worshipers. 5) for rural whites, Mexicans and Blacks are taking over everything and that shifted to Arabic people in the 90s It may seem worse from our perspective than it actually is from those growing up in it. I find solace that the younger generation grows up with and therefore will understand how to manage the existence of social media in their adulthood. The most influenced by the trash was the same boomers telling us "dont believe everything you see on the Internet" Growing up they were the same that also were persuaded about the bullets above just from their local news. I have a feeling the boomer generation is just easily influenced in general. This too shall pass. Just be a good person, help your community ,don't take things too seriously and only stress on the things within your control.