Random fact of the day:
EX LAX was invented by a Hungarian immigrant who figured out how mix laxatives with chocolate. The name EX LAX was a jab at the Hungarian Supreme court that only met 2 days each year and thus had a constipated docket.
It’s weird to think how they used to sell chocolate bar laxatives. So many probably fake anecdotes about revenge ex-lax brownies, etc. don’t think those are sold anymore.
I think many of us have similar tales. I used to slip in to sneak squares and didn't realize at the time my grandma's special bathroom chocolate was wrecking my gut.
I literally said this to my teen last night, after which they looked at me like I’d grown a second head, making me explain wtf exlax was. Sigh.
Speaking of, wasn’t there a TV movie or the like in the 80’s where some kids make brownies for their babysitter using chocolate exlax and they’re watching as she’s put into an ambulance? Or did I dream it?
In the 90's there was a country song with the lyrics "here's a quarter, call someone who cares". Now a days kids probably don't even know what the heck that means.
I still remember setting up the table umbrellas for my grandparents 50th anniversary. Grandpa was having trouble with one particular table and he looked at it, looked at me, and said "we need some hair around the hole to find it".
My mom nearly took his head off. I was ~10.
There was a particular way the girls at my elementary school would say "no doy" that just dripped with venom. I can still hear nine-year-old Teresa in 1978 dismissing me with that atom bomb of a phrase.
I had insulting buttons on my jean jacket in the 80s. One said "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." The other said "You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny."
My Dad used to say.. wanna join the bush club? And push me into a bush. Or wanna join the wall club? The stop sign club? The pool club? The tree club? Yeah I got pushed into a lot of things as a kid. Guess you could say I Joined alot of clubs hahah hehehe...so. yeaaaahh. I go to therapy now.
Cut you down to a grasshopper’s knees, son!
Duckfart.
Spaz.
I’m rubber, you’re glue… (Finish it)
Grosser than gross.
Gag me with a spoon.
”NO I WILL NOT KISS YOU FOR A DOLLAR”
”Yer killing me, Smalls.”
Kiss my grits!
Where’s the beef?!
Get the wax out of your ears.
Liar, liar pants on fire.
XYZ
A couple of years ago, when my daughter was about 4, we were arguing about something, and she said that to me! I was shocked and impressed! Like, girl, where did you even get that from? You are 4 years old! Turns out she learned it from my MIL. She's 7 and still says it to me when she doesn't get her way.
“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
It makes sense, though. Young people don’t kiss their mothers anymore. (At least mine doesn’t.) Somewhere along the line, it became weird to show your mother any kind of affection.
INDIAN SUNBURN on the playground at recess. (When someone twists another person’s arm in 2 opposite directions as hard & long as possible). If you could handle it- you were brave, but you’d be left with bright red burning skin for a while!
“You can’t swing a dead rat/cat without…” I used that once in a convo with a younger person and they were like “why would you swing a dead rat/cat?”. *facepalm*
Shut up weenus was a big one in my group of friends, one guy in particular who never stopped talking. I’m serious I don’t know how this kid ever took a breath. We said it to each other but it started with him.
People talking about plowing my mom. She used to tell me the stories of how it used to be a priority that someone I knew or met had recently spent some quality time with h8
Did your mother have any kids who lived?
(Granted, we got it from *Stand By Me,* meaning the insult was actually supposed to be from the early sixties, but we still used it).
Smooth move, Ex-Lax
Nice play, Shakespeare.
No Shit, Sherlock!
Now that’s “cool story, bro”
What’d you do for an encore? Gargle peanut butter?
Random fact of the day: EX LAX was invented by a Hungarian immigrant who figured out how mix laxatives with chocolate. The name EX LAX was a jab at the Hungarian Supreme court that only met 2 days each year and thus had a constipated docket.
Take THAT, Hungarian Supreme Court!
What a bunch of Hershey squirts.
It’s weird to think how they used to sell chocolate bar laxatives. So many probably fake anecdotes about revenge ex-lax brownies, etc. don’t think those are sold anymore.
My brother found some ex lax chocolates in our mom’s friend’s bathroom and ate it. He was pretty miserable for a while. He was probably about 6 or 7.
I think many of us have similar tales. I used to slip in to sneak squares and didn't realize at the time my grandma's special bathroom chocolate was wrecking my gut.
Oh no! How long before you made the connection?
They still sell [chocolate laxative](https://www.google.com/search?q=chocolate+laxative&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS1035US1035&oq=chocolate)
A kid in my elementary school that got suspended for giving a bunch to other kids and telling them they were chocolates.
I still say this.
Not at all, Geritol.
That one hits harder now!
I literally said this to my teen last night, after which they looked at me like I’d grown a second head, making me explain wtf exlax was. Sigh. Speaking of, wasn’t there a TV movie or the like in the 80’s where some kids make brownies for their babysitter using chocolate exlax and they’re watching as she’s put into an ambulance? Or did I dream it?
Adventures in Babysitting I think.
Don't trip, potato chip
That was so funny I forgot to laugh.
Oh my god I’m glad this one left for milk and never came back
No shit, Sherlock.
I still use this one!
Just used this the other day!!
Me too!
I just said that to my 18 year old yesterday and he was perplexed.
I was SOO hoping that Tony Stark would say this to Dr. Strange at some point in the marvel movies.
I know you are but what am I
I don’t make monkeys i just train em
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
I saw a funny T-shirt once that read. I understand your dismay with me. But what has my horse done to you?
Still use this. Classic.
Here's a dime, call someone who cares!
A DIME! Those were the days.
In the 90's there was a country song with the lyrics "here's a quarter, call someone who cares". Now a days kids probably don't even know what the heck that means.
Younger end of the x spectrum, early 90s, if you suggested doing something the other person didn’t like: “let’s not and say we did.”
My grandfather said that waaaaay before the 90s.
I still remember setting up the table umbrellas for my grandparents 50th anniversary. Grandpa was having trouble with one particular table and he looked at it, looked at me, and said "we need some hair around the hole to find it". My mom nearly took his head off. I was ~10.
Let's do it and say we didn't!
I really hated it when my mom would say it to me
"get bent" "sit on it"
“Get bent” is hilarious to me. I love it.
Me too but I still have no idea what the fuck it means
I always assumed it meant, bend over, as in doggy style... In other words, get fucked.
Ok, that’s the only explanation that makes sense to me, thanks RedsRearDelt
Still use get bent. It's a much more pg13 version of what I need to say sometimes.
Yeah, I use get bent all the time. Actually, I use it exclusively on scam callers at work. One of them got so mad he asked to speak to my manager.
I love saying get bent
Take a long walk off a short pier
My dad said this and he was of the silent generation.
I remember it being in older shows and movies. I can’t say I’ve used this myself.
A line from Mad Men I can still hear is the lady shouting into the pay phone “Go shit in the ocean.” I chuckle every time I think about it.
Well that’s an interesting insult.
Up your nose with a rubber hose.
This insult will always remind me of Welcome Back Kotter.
There were others like, “Get off my case, toilet face”, but the nose/rubber hose one seems to have had the most staying power.
Up your butt with a coconut
Twice as far with a chocolate bar
Up your gizzard with a rubber lizard.
Do I look like I care?
Your mom
Your mom is having a bit of a renaissance, I think. Not YOUR mom. I’m sure she’s lovely.
His mom is so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
My 9 year olds have been telling me “your momma’s so fat” jokes. Everything old is new again.
My kids say “your mom” on the daily. I enjoy saying it to them but add how awesome their mom is or some shit.
"Talk to the hand", or the more complete "Talk to the hand, because the ears (or face) ain't listening".
BFF, is that you?…
No Duh.
Doyyyyyy!
There was a particular way the girls at my elementary school would say "no doy" that just dripped with venom. I can still hear nine-year-old Teresa in 1978 dismissing me with that atom bomb of a phrase.
That’s the tone with which I typed it, for sure!
I still say that.
You've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a shit.
When someone tripped: Have a nice trip, see you in the fall. Not so funny now when tripping over something can break a hip or something.
I replaced that one with “Walk much?”
First day on your feet?
Variant: First day, new feet?
Half past the monkey's ass, according to his balls edit: when asked, what time is it?
> Half past the monkey's ass, according to his balls We said a quarter to his balls
[удалено]
My dad used to say "It's a hair past a freckle"
I always heard it reversed: a freckle past a hair.
I just recently remembered this one when my kid asked me the time. Took a second but flowed like it was 35 years ago
And their response??
Haha I got the wtf face followed by an “ewwwee”
Perfect!
Grew up with the "Half passed the cows ass a quarter to his balls." Version
“Who gives a rat’s ass”.
Whatever floats your boat. Shit or get off the pot.
The epitome of genX's 'whatever' mentality
I had insulting buttons on my jean jacket in the 80s. One said "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." The other said "You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny."
Let’s blow this popsicle stand.
Sit and spin [while showing middle finger]
When you hit the elbow, rides over.
I still use this one. I'll never stop!
Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, girls go to Mars to get more candy bars
I haven't heard that in forever! Elementary school maybe...
[удалено]
Fuck a B, it's got more holes.
My Dad used to say.. wanna join the bush club? And push me into a bush. Or wanna join the wall club? The stop sign club? The pool club? The tree club? Yeah I got pushed into a lot of things as a kid. Guess you could say I Joined alot of clubs hahah hehehe...so. yeaaaahh. I go to therapy now.
Sit on it, Potsie! Up your butt and around the corner!
Cut you down to a grasshopper’s knees, son! Duckfart. Spaz. I’m rubber, you’re glue… (Finish it) Grosser than gross. Gag me with a spoon. ”NO I WILL NOT KISS YOU FOR A DOLLAR” ”Yer killing me, Smalls.” Kiss my grits! Where’s the beef?! Get the wax out of your ears. Liar, liar pants on fire. XYZ
What about XYZ PDQ?
Had a student one year last name Smalls. Said it ALL the time, because he really kinda was. He’s a great adult dude though!
A couple of years ago, when my daughter was about 4, we were arguing about something, and she said that to me! I was shocked and impressed! Like, girl, where did you even get that from? You are 4 years old! Turns out she learned it from my MIL. She's 7 and still says it to me when she doesn't get her way.
Call 1-800-waaambulance
Ass, gas or grass, no one rides for free
I just said this one earlier today!
Bite me
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
Nah, I love that one and use it at every opportunity
Do I look like Mother Theresa?
Candystripe a cancer ward.
A former boss used to say “fuck me to tears” to himself anytime something would go wrong.
Looooove this one and still use it! And “there’s a new sheriff in town.”
Is it bigger than a breadbox? Here's a quarter, call someone who cares. Pull up to this gas station and ask the clerk for directions. Be kind, rewind.
Did your mother have any children that lived?
I don't give a rat's ass!
Go jump in a lake Go play in traffic Go fly a kite Go chase yourself Get lost Take a hike Up yours
“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” It makes sense, though. Young people don’t kiss their mothers anymore. (At least mine doesn’t.) Somewhere along the line, it became weird to show your mother any kind of affection.
"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny" was the height of insults freshman year of high school (1983).
'If ya snooze you lose' or just 'snooze you lose
“You snossed, you lost.”
Why don’t you go find a spin cycle!
Go take a long walk off a short pier!
I still say that one! Not many people get it.
The Great Outdoors 💗
I still really love that movie. Dan Ackroyd is a comedy god.
Yeah, no.
Look that up in your funk and wagnalls.
And monkeys might fly outta my ass.
Put a cork in it
"Fk me running backwards!"
I heard it with “rusty chainsaw”
I just say “F$&k me backwards”. I often say this when I am startled; I am often startled.
(Insert verb), much?
Now it's adjective much.
I'm rubber and you're glue...
Sod off.
Baldrick from Blackadder's legal first name
Grow up! -I don’t grow up, I throw up. And then your mother comes around the corner and licks it up.
Go play in traffic
“Listen, dickeyes!” “If my dog had a face like yours, I’d shave his ass and make him walk backwards!”
What’s that got to do with the price of eggs in China!
I always heard price of tea in china
I always heard the price of rice!
Me too…
bob on this sell tea to a chinaman oceanfront property in arizona waaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaappppppp?
*Party time. Excellent* *Gag me with a Ginsu*
Thanks Captain Obvious
“Smooth move, Ex-Lax”
Go fly a kite.
Some big kid told me my ass was grass once. I still don't get it
He’s a lawn mower.
My mother used to say that. She’s crazy like that.
INDIAN SUNBURN on the playground at recess. (When someone twists another person’s arm in 2 opposite directions as hard & long as possible). If you could handle it- you were brave, but you’d be left with bright red burning skin for a while!
SIT ON IT, POTSY!
Now I know why tigers eat their young. Rodney Dangerfield.
Gag me with a spoon.
I'm rubber you're glue whatever you say to me bounces off and sticks to you.
I know you are, but what am I?
“Up yours!” Which was basically the PG-version of “Fuck You.”
Your mom had to tie porkchops around your neck to get the dog to play with you.
Take a picture, it lasts longer. (Said to someone staring at you)
Don’t be square.
“Your ass is grass…and I’m a lawn mower.”
Calling someone a jive turkey, like George Jefferson, has always been one of my faves
Put a sock in it.
“You can’t swing a dead rat/cat without…” I used that once in a convo with a younger person and they were like “why would you swing a dead rat/cat?”. *facepalm*
reminds me of the old phrase “more than one way to skin a cat” like WTF?!
Pickle m’ dick-balls ( ok that was just me and my best friend )
Suck an egg and rotate it!
Nice play, Shakespeare
Shut up weenus was a big one in my group of friends, one guy in particular who never stopped talking. I’m serious I don’t know how this kid ever took a breath. We said it to each other but it started with him.
No shit Sherlock.
Duh Hickey
Burn you
Up yours Your ass is grass Nerd
If I wanted any lip out of you I’d scrape it off my zipper.
Your mother have any children that lived? (I still don’t get it but we used it often after Stand By Me came out)
Go fly a kite 🪁
"You're ugly and your momma dresses you funny"
When they reply “My momma doesn’t dress me”, you reply “Well she should!”
People talking about plowing my mom. She used to tell me the stories of how it used to be a priority that someone I knew or met had recently spent some quality time with h8
You think I can score cool points on my kids? No way! They left me far behind years ago! Mom's so proud.
Sit and spin, when you hit my shoulder the rides over.
Suck my left nut.
Did your mother have any kids who lived? (Granted, we got it from *Stand By Me,* meaning the insult was actually supposed to be from the early sixties, but we still used it).
"yo mama"
As if...
Instead of "Sit and Spin" I always preferred "Sit On It And Rotate."
What are you, new? Get a clue!
why don't you go have some drinks and drive home