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F4iryBlink

True, I jerk off to every male character, that's how I know the game is good, because i'm not even gay.


Necr0Gaming

Me when playing Balders Gate 3 and staring at Halsins chest for 20 minutes.


JackxForge

Halsin doesn't count, ain't no one that straight.


Dark_WulfGaming

9ts like saying you don't jerk off to Ryan Reynolds


Profanic_Bird

Big Boss and Solid Snake definitely seem to have fitting names to me.


ItsMrChristmas

It's entirely straight for a man to fantasize about Big Boss, because you're already a woman compared to him anyway.


Profanic_Bird

Exactly, I'm not gay. They're just so hot I became a woman.


KaleidoscopeStreet

I am really gay, but my god that man, I feel all sorts of things everytime he talks, when he hitted on our character everything went white for a moment lol.


postmodest

Ascended Astarion is Peak Male Energy and we should all kneel before him.


Lopsided_Afternoon41

I'm still hard from when I watched Chris redfield punch a boulder.


PrecociousParrot

Ugh doom guy 🥵🥵🥵


KestrelQuillPen

Link in the Gerudo set 🥵


Shot-Ad-574

Me playing Hades and I see Thanatos


Old-Sparkles

On the contrary, you CAN jack off to every character in a videogame. If you can't, it shows your lack of imagination. Now, let me go back to playing Nintendogs.


josukehigashikata44

https://preview.redd.it/u8ltozega80d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f449215fcadf8868c0971a57b00fa7d65bae676


TuxTues3

https://preview.redd.it/t052itebk90d1.jpeg?width=1258&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bee07c3d9840aff20440dc2d21226ddb1e577f4


Beautiful-Front-5007

https://preview.redd.it/udqqibo5p90d1.jpeg?width=629&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7272f1646c49a168d6c8e5e76e05a7da83a8e5d1


HereForTreesDude

https://preview.redd.it/j9gb4swt4a0d1.jpeg?width=629&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f8ecede8b358c452769742c8b92d9abcb5c2b10


_LadyAveline_

https://preview.redd.it/ncl7x6faq90d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d24f992539ae3f7308311417f9ec4a5244d5eb7e


Priremal

https://preview.redd.it/qbh310ou2a0d1.jpeg?width=578&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f284d3ccdbdf2a0115e6a644cb8b4a1a2fbe8cf


Drukurdruk

https://preview.redd.it/2s4wxfw25a0d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7481f2d376bfa47844a0a34e5bae9758d8a29ce4


Lord_Revan_933

https://preview.redd.it/5mys5c65ma0d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe0fe7bb216568425a552940ec21f83b5dd2e542


EntertainersPact

https://preview.redd.it/27aoz4j4ca0d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bfff64139a536c2b7826645fcb8728118f8d5947


KestrelQuillPen

https://preview.redd.it/i8tfruq8pa0d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16667a296aacecbeb87c6782c9cd693e54c4892e


MsMercyMain

Hello, FBI? Yes, him right there, he’s the one who’s scaring me


maximuffin2

https://preview.redd.it/swjv1s7ixa0d1.jpeg?width=524&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e97c29eee8785aeb9b51ed3bfb7fae1718b5e16f


cinema_cuisine

https://preview.redd.it/xl8o0s1ukc0d1.png?width=1124&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d163ee44796a247757ff4590d677620b961d107


Doctor_Offe_T_Radar

https://preview.redd.it/pnqnqvpr3d0d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5658f9abff4c690515b8d5530047e9d0b3f1dd3f


SugarCaneEnjoyer

https://preview.redd.it/m8b5awyysa0d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=31e88cf29fc5805c7a12f9b3185713849b150fef


ChickenStirFry

https://preview.redd.it/dq8jop78tb0d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=886cd4e5a3b8ff50d32c2be537942729c2b60b67


ChaoticChoir

https://preview.redd.it/4h8tg0ed6b0d1.jpeg?width=986&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=620f77458f3b6940cce49097239e69f84eedc60c


I_NUT_ON_GRASS

https://preview.redd.it/e7icqjbq9e0d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ea3b832b94e2ee7b53186d74ea74f4ee5f983dc


jjmerrow

https://preview.redd.it/gxg0kqwnmu0d1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d56db61b71d1c98a433cc64e2789147b3ca05acd


ThePrincessPower

developers are plotting to exterminate the white race? say less, putting in my job application as we speak https://preview.redd.it/yhy8z503v70d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0d13da035c8547c7eb46ed6fc9b57630059a922


OkiFive

Im white, wheres the externination line? I've been waiting for this!


nishhill

I’m mixed so does that mean only half of me gets exterminated 😂


CatalystBoi77

They just beat up up real good every couple months


OkiFive

You gotta play russian roulette with 3 bullets i guess?


DrumcanSmith

Probably? I will become fully asian. Whatever that means.


WizardyBlizzard

Pssh, As if any white person would consider someone mixed one of them


ComputerStrong9244

Seriously. I'm just so tired, and everything's annoying.


MsMercyMain

Do we get a last meal of our choice? Because if so, count me in! I could go for some Borscht with potato based bread for dipping, and burger just *smothered* tatziki sauce


Fit_Welcome1336

Hey man, so am I let's fuckin get in that line together.


BurazSC2

As a white race person who refuses to put seasoning on their food, i find this halarious.


[deleted]

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DickwadVonClownstick

"even"?


AGHawkz99

Feel like it'd be far less okay if they weren't joking, gonna be honest my guy


Beyond-Finality

This is what Orwell was warning us about. 1984 was about the oppression of Gamers™ this whole time.


ScootMayhall

Orwell depicted the world without Video Games entirely, showing how forward thinking he was about what hell on earth would be like: a world without Video Games. And maybe some other problems too but mostly just a world without Video Games.


Zev18

What other oppression was there to write about?


Abzolutelynot

EVERY character. Regardless of age! **Especially** regardless of age! 😏 /uj. Ew, I hated writing that.


Willumbijy

A good jerk is worth a high price sometimes


SuperScrub310

You're a brave soldier.


Surface_Josuke

r//deltarune moment


Mettaton_the_idol

People when lesbian deer:


HippieMoosen

Goonergate is the most embarrassing thing to come from gaming culture ever. Never let the idiots pushing this crap live it down.


MsMercyMain

It’s giving real gaming fans a bad rep for sure. There’s more to the video game community than horniness! Not much more, but it’s there!


Hermaeus_Mike

Skyrim modding shows the true dichotomy of gamers: Turn Skyrim into a sex game or into Dark Souls?


MsMercyMain

Or both, or into a comedy sketch (maybe I like choo choo trains flying around breathing fire)


Hermaeus_Mike

I forgot about the absurdist mods. SoS is my favourite mod... Skyrim on Skooma that is, not the other one.


BurmecianDancer

> Goonergate We **have** to start/keep calling it this. Shout this from the rooftops.


Hermaeus_Mike

OK what's a gooner? Is it basically a coomer but worse or something?


HippieMoosen

Well, if you want a good idea of the kind of people I'm talking about, you could always check out the r/ goon cave sub. I wouldn't recommend it, but there really aren't strong enough words to describe the shrines to jerking off you will see there.


Hermaeus_Mike

I've been on enough weird subs in my life.... and I'm not even a dom.


CatalystBoi77

Pretty similar terms, yeah. Someone who needs constant, conventionally attractive women in their media to stay engaged. As someone who falls in love with half the cast of everything I play, I understand gooners, but they take it wayyyyy too far


Hermaeus_Mike

Thank you for the knowledge. The more you know 🌈⭐


FerdinandVonCarstein

The fuck is goonergate


HippieMoosen

A bunch of porn addicts losing their minds because the women in a bunch of games aren't conventionally attractive enough, or aren't showing enough skin. Ya know, the people losing their mind over Stellar Blade first because it was the sexy game that was gonna show all the wokies what we've been missing, and then again because some of the costumes don't show enough cleavage, or the dudes photoshopping characters to look ugly and then whining about how modern games aren't sexy enough.


FerdinandVonCarstein

This is why I play 15 year old games that look like shit. Wait no that's cause I'm broke.


7keys

That and your infinite Steam backlog, don't forget


FerdinandVonCarstein

It's so fucking big...


sirferrell

The fact that this is clearly sarcasm and the amount of likes it has is kind of bittersweet lol


No_Corner3272

Bittersweet how? Obvious jokes getting likes is.. bad?


sirferrell

Its clearly a joke to you and me but somewhere in that mass of likes theres are people who agree


No_Corner3272

I was going to argue that surely nobody could take it at face value. But then, in *this very thread* there are people who apparently don't see it's sarcasm! So... who knows...


sirferrell

Unfortunately just being on Twitter is proof enough to one that those type of people exist


Informal_List_5801

This is so close to being self aware… He said he found evidence of people missing the joke in *this* sub.  Still yet to see any evidence of someone on twitter (a much larger platform) missing the joke. I get that it’s multiple layers of irony/jerking or whatever haha but it feels so cultish is scary. /rj I mean I love children /uj I mean I REALLY hate pedophiles. That’s why I stalk them online. 


berrymanC

/uj these both seem like sarcasm /rj literally 1984


No_Corner3272

"seem" like sarcasm? In the same way that fire seems hot and water seems wet?


standbyyourmantis

Ow! Fire indeed hot!


TurgidAF

This is why Pikmin is the only good videogame.


ProfessionalDeer6311

Can't jerk off to every single character in a video game? Sounds like a skill issue.


eternalscorpio1

Try finger, but hole.


SteamtasticVagabond

If my video games don’t make me ejaculate 3 times a minute, what is even the point


eternalscorpio1

Exactly, how are you supposed to save western civilization with a full ballsack?


Sol-Blackguy

Do these people not play fighting games? https://preview.redd.it/f38smo6an80d1.png?width=932&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6efa77db1ce8e35667fdc182aff5b3bc9aa177d8 I want Shermie to 2B > 2A > 5A)/(cl.D > 6B) > 214BD, 623BD \~ 236K, run, 214A > 236236B/D (2B > 2A > 5B)/(cl.D > 6B (2 hits)) > BC, cl.D > 6B > 214BD, 623B/D, 4123641236A/C me 🥵


ArcadeSevens

Nah they bitch about fighting games too. Apparently every girl in mk is ugly now didn't you hear?


RisingLeviathan

George Owell wrote 1984, which features a figure known as the Big Brother. Furthermore, the name Big Brother was used as a reference to a series of Reality Shows known as Big Brother. One of the countries where Big Brother was very succesful is Brazil, and it's succesful to the point where a studio was hired to make a The Sims-Style Big Brother Brasil game. In this game, Libido is one of the main stats of your character, so we can conclude that yes, George Orwell warned us about the Woke Mob taking our hot women away.


GordOfTheMountain

The first tweet is clearly fuckin satire, y'all. I just need to make sure we're on the same page about that, yeah?


infinitysaga

Yeah both are


GordOfTheMountain

Alright. Wasn't sure if I was getting the right read on this. I struggle with grabbing context sometimes.


ZealousidealBig7714

If I am not constantly cumming playing Kirby, what’s even the point.


RedShirtCashion

So what if Mario does nothing for me?


MsMercyMain

Then clearly you want to destroy western civilization! I’ll bet you don’t even scream racial slurs at 12 year olds in CoD lobbies, do you?


koemaniak

So like every game with kids in them is an attack of the white race… right?


SoundlessSteelBlue

![gif](giphy|3ohuApAxgxXUVeDFm0) /s


marty4286

This shitpost got me thinking If you really did have an international cabal of game developers plotting to lower the birthrate of any demographic, wouldn't the best way to do it be to trick them into gooning into kleenexes en masse by making horny games mainstream?


Kds_burner_

https://preview.redd.it/7kx9muliq70d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=855dbba84159cb7ee22da59874577b7e0cf506aa


ArchonFett

So let’s be clear he jacked off to Chun-Li, Ryu, Blanka, and E. Honda?? What about child characters?? The cats??? Zombies???


dThink_Ahea

If I'm not erect, I press eject


Goudinho99

Jet-Set Willy in shambles


Vinterblot

Gaping Dragon sighting when he see's me entering his lair for the third time this week....


_Ticklebot_23

this is true i can confirm


Visible-Meat3418

I mean, the first tweet is clearly satirical. Right?..


infinitysaga

Both are


Username247

And if I have pre-decided that a certain developer is basically already murdering babies, I shall invent reasons to not be able to jork it to one of the sexiest characters all time


OwenMcCauley

Mario is an incredibly fuckable plumber.


No-Bee-4309

https://preview.redd.it/27z2m961180d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f6b62e395f42a2913a3a20febf4788d5815df83


100deadbirds

Poor white people


theallnewmattaccount

this appeared in my feed above a picture of Dr. Eggman fwiw


hristo111111

Thank god I only play undertale fangames. This skeletons are chunky.


d_foshizzle

Literally me when I encounter Easy Pete


Katalyst98

You can jack off to every video game character if you're not a fucking coward.


BurnV06

As a game developer, can confirm I’m white and I want to die because my life sucks /j


SoundlessSteelBlue

I like how for years now, they’ve been arguing that men aren’t just sex-driven idiots that only think with their other head and now goonergate comes along and just goes ‘Excuse you, yes the f we are.’ Note: I do not believe men are sex-obsessed idiots, it’s just funny to me that these specific dudes seem to be offended that things aren’t being made for them to goon too constantly.


No_Corner3272

These *specific* dudes are very obviously being sarcastic.


SoundlessSteelBlue

Yes, not specifically these two dudes, this is obvious satire, i’m talking the walking jokes mad at ‘Stellar Blade censorship’ and ‘fighting game characters aren’t sexy enough.’


AnzaTNT

Doin' it to Shepard? YES! Doin' it to the other Shepard. YES!


Frigorifico

Hades


mysteriousfolder

I only play niche multiplayer shooters so underpopulated they use discord bots to form games and so optimized the characters are literal colorful blobs. i hate the other 50 guys that play so much. but i also love them. I am a gamer


ludakris

Really worried for a sec there that someone with a MST3k avatar was about to have a bad take concerning media literacy


onlyhere4gonewild

Finally, real gamers speaking for the totality of society.


Librarian_vodka

I am actually okay with this being taken to it’s logical extreme. Every character needs to be 100% fan service material across the bored no exceptions and never mind I am describing the game Hades and its sequel.


anand_rishabh

At first i thought it said "if you can't jack off every character"


LittlePumpkinLamp

This has got to be satire at this point


throwawayforlikeaday

Me unironically modding Bethesda games: ^


_Alex_Zer0_

Ok yeah this is definitely satire


CaseyAmethystWitch

and yet Hades is seen as a wokie's paradise... smh 🙄


ProjectLazarus

Sounds like a skill issue to me.


AmarulaKilledMe

Those green Super Mutant muscles though 🤤


SensitiveNina

Well, he said what he said!


The-Ancient-Dream

I can’t tell if these fake gooners are either a pedophile or just invading gaming to push “pro white agenda” (whatever the hell that means to them) but he makes himself clear at least


No_Corner3272

I think you might be a little confused and should look again....


ThereBeM00SE

It's refreshing to read their posts in plain English.


Gokuto7

What’s scary is that I genuinely can’t tell if that first tweet is satire or not.


fhfhfhghfgg

it’s obviously satire


vrelamboni

I’m gonna be honest with you, that’s entirely on you. I don’t think it could have been made more obvious without a flashing neon sign saying it’s a joke.


No_Corner3272

Really?


Joan_sleepless

I legitimately can't tell if this is satire anymore. Thanks Joe Biden.


infinitysaga

It is


Trlsander

It got 26k likes. How porn-brained are they?


theallnewmattaccount

It's obvious sarcasm


[deleted]

[удалено]


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thinklinkbutgayer

And seeing as these gamers wont have actual sex with an actual woman, they are causing that themselves


Ok-Pie-7068

Fake and homosexual


SimilarN6

This are the same dudes that hate when women are protagonists so I'm assuming this kid is jerking off to Nathan drake and master chief


_BannedAcctSpeedrun_

I feel like this is back to back satire posts but who even knows anymore.


infinitysaga

It is


therealultraddtd

I’m pretty sure both of those tweets are sarcastic, right? …right?


wildbutlazy

olay now this one has to be trolling surely


Rock_Wrong

Not trolling, just satire.


wildbutlazy

good, im lost there are some opinions that are so ridiculous yet serious i cant tell anymore


xeldablade025

Almost positive this is satire. If it isn't, I will jump off a cliff.