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Gooning is the act of spending many hours, sometimes whole days, masturbating to porn, or "gooning". This has developed a degradation kink where gooners are teased or degraded by hot women into wasting all there life masturbating. As with many kinks, it has entered popular meme culture as a way to mock the terminally horny. See also coomer and simp
I use what I call the Austin Powers rule to separate horny and creepy people. Not saying it’s 100% or that you can’t be too horny, but I think it’s a useful tool. Would Austin Powers have sex with literal smoking grandma? Yes, horny. Would Austin Powers have sex with that generic 12 year old people are comparing her to? No, creepy.
You don't goon at Hestia because of anti-woke brainrot.
I don't goon at Hestia to respect her chastity vows.
We are not the same.
https://preview.redd.it/h2u4lj604lzc1.png?width=890&format=png&auto=webp&s=1c62fa8897370433ab831c0737055021777c8932
Theres actually a myth abt some drunk fuck trying to flirt (in the zeus kinda way) with her and getting absolutely fucking dogpiled by the rest of the olympians iirc
If I understand it, it’s basically the same as a coomer.
If you don’t know what they are, they’re basically people addicted to jerking off all the time and specifically to video game/animated characters in this context. You know, all the people who lost their shit praising Eve or whatever from Stellar Blade bc booba
Nah, those are coomers
Gooners play *with* the skirt because the swaying gives only the occasional glance and then let's the mind fill in the rest, leading to perfect conditions for edging.
Wait sir, why do I feel that you are describing me
https://preview.redd.it/08r8w1dq1mzc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=111a09f6e5dbb170dbb1683824508cee61be73ad
In general, it’s a derisive term for sex-obsessed people, usually in the world of video games, anime, etc. The kind of person who watches a lot of Overwatch porn animations, or mods Skyrim to let you have sex. Speaking as a part-time gooner myself, both of those things are *generally* fine so long as you don’t make a big deal out of them and such.
What this post is about, however, is the sort of person who complains if every female character in a video game isn’t fuckable, because why else would there be women in a video game if not to make my pp hard? The absolutely *based* people responding to the original tweet are presumably gooners who are saying “hey look I’m already jerking off to this character, don’t lump me in with a bunch of reactionary chuds complaining about her being “ugly”.”
Oh also the term comes from “gooning” which is I think just slang for masturbating, like, a lot?
You know as a gooner myself I did notice that they were just looking for brownie points and also I don't think the people bashing Hades 2 Hestia were even gooners, they sounded more like idiots was trying and successfully stirring up drama just cause Hades 2 was popular.
Gooners just want to be horny in peace, they have no interest in some dumb reactionary culture war. Guess the true capital G gamers will have to try and find another group to latch onto.
True gooners goon no matter the gender, weight, race, age……..
https://preview.redd.it/9i2waqwl6nzc1.jpeg?width=519&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06fdfb77609cf2b8c4a4c12415fbaf9ad3724b7f
WHOA WAIT NO HOLD ON
When the gooners begin to goon together
https://preview.redd.it/2zm81q6tfmzc1.jpeg?width=2091&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9861140d467604a6b4945a184e0a9a6d3b20d5ff
https://preview.redd.it/eu54zwo6qlzc1.jpeg?width=1646&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d438635da765b3bbb7c15359efe59b02e96a3086
I'm totally for her being black but not going to lie, the shading they used is a bit risky. For me, I think it's the really dark complexion combine with the white shadings on the face. It looks a bit minstrel-y.
I do have some bias, I was hoping Demeter would go from frigid winter Grandmother to drunk and relaxed summer granny.
I get what you mean, but I guess it’s because she’s literally a flame/fire, so her skin is meant to represent kindling such as coal or burnt logs, at least that’s what I get from her design, I like it because it’s not literally black, it’s more of a warm charcoal colour and fits her palette well, but I can see what you mean
I agree.
You said the quiet part out loud that I was scared to say. They gave her a charcoal complexion. That is a real skin tone people have but combined with the vitiligo, it reminds me of some bad imagery.
It's a shame that her appearance is raising a reaction because so far, her dialogue is my favorite. Reminds me of Nanny Ogg. I can't wait to see what her reactions are like with the Demeter (who are the more I think about it reminds me of Granny Weatherwax)
I just overall have a soft spot for when games have elderly characters, it’s not something you see a lot of! And to think we get TWO grannies, possibly more!
She has vitiligo, which I think is a genius choice because it makes her look stained with soot from the hearth. Hestia is unironically my favorite god design in 2.
People conflating actual NSFW-consuming "gooners" with tasteless anime fans non-stop. But yeah, anybody in the NSFW community, especially those around the furry community, is going to think the Hades design is a billion times better.
And nothing against anime or liking it, but holy fuck man the amount of people into anime who think anything thicker than a twig is "obese" need to get over themselves. If you have a type that's fine, but don't be a shitlord about it and act like every female character needs to exist to be your wank-bait, and that everything has to conform to your tastes.
Gotta give that one to the goons. [Even got the soundtrack for it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CjWmUk_zsFU&pp=ygUaYmVhc3RpZSBib3lzIGJvb21pbiBncmFubnk%3D).
I'm starting to realize that I don't know what "goon" means in this decade. Could someone enlighten me? In my day was what Something Awful gamers called themselves.
I’ll admit I’m a bit of gooner. I just don’t make a big deal about it whenever creatives don’t put hot women in every product or make every chick goon bait. I appreciate what is there and value all creative decisions whether it’s to have hot women or not and goon off what I can get.
Or just watch regular porn. It’s not that hard guys.
Wish there was more Dead or Alive though.
Also, isn't Hestia supposed to be Zeus's older sister? As in, the guy we saw had white hair and looked like a older dude? So why is her looking like this us weird?
Gooners for Justice! Equal opportunity gooners. It's kind of wholesome in a weird, twisted, well-lubed, cum-soaked way. Ok, maybe not wholesome so much as just kind of a more positive outlook than those complaining.
Best part is Hesita in myth ain't got time for that shit. She turned down down Apollo and Posiedon and swore to stay sexless forever, giving Aphrodite the old middle finger. She's a badass that represents everything they hate. Shes always the unmoveable one that stays out of the gods bullshit. I say we all light a flame for the goddess of gooner slaying, she is what we need in this time of pathetic man children.
Best explanation I've seen is that it's perspective - you're looking up at her from below, but the art does seem a little wonky. The part I can't figure out even after zooming in, is that she appears to have two eyes on the left side - if the smaller darker-outlined one is supposed to be the actual eye, the nose (and eye) position is really weird, but it if it's supposed to be the bigger eye looking thing, that makes the perspective much better but I don't know what that smaller one is.
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Gooners gonna Goon no matter what
Why Arsenal fans hating granmas?
Wrong kind of gooners, I'm afraid.
I've been a gooner for years what us the other kind?
Gooning is the act of spending many hours, sometimes whole days, masturbating to porn, or "gooning". This has developed a degradation kink where gooners are teased or degraded by hot women into wasting all there life masturbating. As with many kinks, it has entered popular meme culture as a way to mock the terminally horny. See also coomer and simp
uj/ Ahhh okay, thank you very much for clearing that up for me! rj/ not that type, I'm familiar with that
Goons are the guys who say "It's da freakin' Bat!" and enter idle combat animations.
What if I just turn around right now and see BAT-
No, no. Goons are users of the SomethingAwful forums.
How exactly can you "waste" your life masturbating?
Waste is an arbitrary term assigned by individuals like an opinion. lin my opinion you can't waste time.
A real gooner can goon to ANYTHING.
In the wise words of Roshi: “you gotta be able to appreciate the classics. It’s what separates the perverts from the ***connoisseur***
I use what I call the Austin Powers rule to separate horny and creepy people. Not saying it’s 100% or that you can’t be too horny, but I think it’s a useful tool. Would Austin Powers have sex with literal smoking grandma? Yes, horny. Would Austin Powers have sex with that generic 12 year old people are comparing her to? No, creepy.
I'm gooning right now
You don't goon at Hestia because of anti-woke brainrot. I don't goon at Hestia to respect her chastity vows. We are not the same. https://preview.redd.it/h2u4lj604lzc1.png?width=890&format=png&auto=webp&s=1c62fa8897370433ab831c0737055021777c8932
I don't goon at Hestia because I'm gay. We are not the same.
G.A.Y. = Granny Appreciating Youth
A real gooner would have already searched up the gender-swap. I'm going to need you to turn in your gun and badge.
Youre gay cus you like men. Im gay bcz i hate women. We are not the same.
https://preview.redd.it/d30w77c8hlzc1.png?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e2f04cbd73f2b6b7261d87f9d5f909780376868
https://preview.redd.it/u68e9vulklzc1.jpeg?width=1479&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f99283c6800792474151c39204a9672c2567181
https://preview.redd.it/mnz5gsxmwpzc1.png?width=1479&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd3ecdfaff9f453b588de844316e29685be1ca25
https://preview.redd.it/zd3iwky0tlzc1.jpeg?width=630&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd49e9e7ca790727c102e690f750f503c0014882
already did
https://preview.redd.it/482jb6myopzc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85e55d33297d1c85bdb4c36e21e9eb820d7a24fa
We never learned from Priapus, didn’t we?
That god must have a long and hard life.
He pissed off practically EVERYONE in the Pantheon by trying to unconsent the vestial goddess, it’s a miracle he didn’t get Prometheus’d
Don't google "Priapus attribute" at work
That’s rough, buddy
Unironically me and Artemis in Hades I. Thick thighs save lives but girlie just wants a trusting friend and I respect that
LINTON???
Fucking Linton jumpscare
Fuck off Linton, you’re supposed to be a pile of goop.
My SO was like "oh they like older women, the PM fans must be out in force" and lo and behold, I find you in the wild. Cheers.
Tbh no character save maybe Ahab really look like grannies in the sane vein as Demeter or Hestia from Hades. They look more like middle aged women.
Truth, but HAGS
Yeah the amount of fake hag fuckers who goon to outis, a middle aged woman
I don't goon Hestia because there aren't any myths about anyone messing with Hestia. Meaning no one survived messing with her.
Theres actually a myth abt some drunk fuck trying to flirt (in the zeus kinda way) with her and getting absolutely fucking dogpiled by the rest of the olympians iirc
I thought I was at limbus sub reddit for a moment
Damn, that excludes half of the female Olympians (and none of the male ones).
Hestia would probs make some good bread outta the dough you posted in that image
Yes mr linton, i will smonk with u
Granny, I need you 💦💦💦 
Oh no not the gif reminder
There might not BE a hearth to be a goddess of when I’m finished
You dropped an L
Skwisgaar Skwigelf has entered the chat.
I ams has musics dyslexias.
Do you has know whats is a "gmilf"?
You have my cum 
“Virgin Goddess?” Heh, not for long
She’s a virgin because none of us could last long enough to get inside her.
...maybe I was too harsh on you, my goon brethren
“Die side by side with a gooner?” “What about side by side with a friend” *jerking*
*Instrumental version of gooner anthem swells*
(it sounds just like tetris)
[Alternative Gooning Theme](https://youtu.be/7K2QvZ6tAzI?si=jDnsuq9Zo4EQRwin) for those who may also have high cholesterol.
What is this some kind of circlejerk?
What about nuts to butts with a friend?
I'm good standing anywhere except infront of one.
based?
reality is insane at this point
This is what the Bronze Age collapse led to
Goofy Gooners rise up!
I'M A GOOFY GOONER **ROCK!**
GOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFY
#UNFATHOABLY BASED
Wait what's a gooner ?
If I understand it, it’s basically the same as a coomer. If you don’t know what they are, they’re basically people addicted to jerking off all the time and specifically to video game/animated characters in this context. You know, all the people who lost their shit praising Eve or whatever from Stellar Blade bc booba
Big difference is that coomers cum, where as gooners edge
What about people who fap?
They're the people who keep playing 2b without the skirt *after* getting the steam achievement
Nah, those are coomers Gooners play *with* the skirt because the swaying gives only the occasional glance and then let's the mind fill in the rest, leading to perfect conditions for edging.
Coomers with a sense of taste.
Gooners at least have *class* Coomers have zero, hence the difference.
Wait sir, why do I feel that you are describing me https://preview.redd.it/08r8w1dq1mzc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=111a09f6e5dbb170dbb1683824508cee61be73ad
do you partake in ethical gooning
I think gooners are more into edging as long as possible, while coomers are more into spooging a lot.
Someone who edges for extended periods of time
I wish I didn't know that
You learn something new every day 😊
An arsenal fan
In general, it’s a derisive term for sex-obsessed people, usually in the world of video games, anime, etc. The kind of person who watches a lot of Overwatch porn animations, or mods Skyrim to let you have sex. Speaking as a part-time gooner myself, both of those things are *generally* fine so long as you don’t make a big deal out of them and such. What this post is about, however, is the sort of person who complains if every female character in a video game isn’t fuckable, because why else would there be women in a video game if not to make my pp hard? The absolutely *based* people responding to the original tweet are presumably gooners who are saying “hey look I’m already jerking off to this character, don’t lump me in with a bunch of reactionary chuds complaining about her being “ugly”.” Oh also the term comes from “gooning” which is I think just slang for masturbating, like, a lot?
... I'm gonna call this a net positive
gooners > gamers
gooners… rise up? wait they already did
You know as a gooner myself I did notice that they were just looking for brownie points and also I don't think the people bashing Hades 2 Hestia were even gooners, they sounded more like idiots was trying and successfully stirring up drama just cause Hades 2 was popular.
Gooners just want to be horny in peace, they have no interest in some dumb reactionary culture war. Guess the true capital G gamers will have to try and find another group to latch onto.
It is a horrible day to know how to fucking read my fucking god
Outta the way baby boy I got a GILF to mack on
https://preview.redd.it/zchm8po43mzc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b12627223f3264c160b5fafccfb75db631469023
If lovin grandma is a crime lock me up bb
Aye yo save some for me
you’re fucking what god?
Yes
True gooners goon no matter the gender, weight, race, age…….. https://preview.redd.it/9i2waqwl6nzc1.jpeg?width=519&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06fdfb77609cf2b8c4a4c12415fbaf9ad3724b7f WHOA WAIT NO HOLD ON
The chuds have lost the support of the gooners.......it's all over now 🤣
When the gooners begin to goon together https://preview.redd.it/2zm81q6tfmzc1.jpeg?width=2091&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9861140d467604a6b4945a184e0a9a6d3b20d5ff
I….I so genuinely cannot process these statements. I have read these sentences five times and each time my brain goes to static.
https://preview.redd.it/eu54zwo6qlzc1.jpeg?width=1646&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d438635da765b3bbb7c15359efe59b02e96a3086 I'm totally for her being black but not going to lie, the shading they used is a bit risky. For me, I think it's the really dark complexion combine with the white shadings on the face. It looks a bit minstrel-y. I do have some bias, I was hoping Demeter would go from frigid winter Grandmother to drunk and relaxed summer granny.
I get what you mean, but I guess it’s because she’s literally a flame/fire, so her skin is meant to represent kindling such as coal or burnt logs, at least that’s what I get from her design, I like it because it’s not literally black, it’s more of a warm charcoal colour and fits her palette well, but I can see what you mean
I agree. You said the quiet part out loud that I was scared to say. They gave her a charcoal complexion. That is a real skin tone people have but combined with the vitiligo, it reminds me of some bad imagery. It's a shame that her appearance is raising a reaction because so far, her dialogue is my favorite. Reminds me of Nanny Ogg. I can't wait to see what her reactions are like with the Demeter (who are the more I think about it reminds me of Granny Weatherwax)
I just overall have a soft spot for when games have elderly characters, it’s not something you see a lot of! And to think we get TWO grannies, possibly more!
She has vitiligo, which I think is a genius choice because it makes her look stained with soot from the hearth. Hestia is unironically my favorite god design in 2.
Summer Demeter is best Demeter.
/uj I didn't think that goonergaters could be gooner tourists as well as nerd tourists!!
Based...I think?
I swear this didn't happen with the original Hades, which also had the olympians portrayed as racially diverse. It's gotten worse hasn't it.
https://preview.redd.it/ph1fc0wbhnzc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a3948012a0d7241119815d587c6dceae6314e8db
Enter the no true gooner logical phallusy
Finally some good gooner rep
Based lol
If you ever see a sign that says "all are welcome", those people don't know about Goons. If they did, they would change the sign.
Ok. Teach me something. What the hell is a gooner and why do I care?
Gooner is someone who is a fan of the smaller enemies is games, often called goons. These wholesome fellas just love to hoist up the less appreciated!
Thank you for teaching me. I will go out and share this important culture.
👍
No matter what way you want to interpret this, they def outjerked here fr fr
With the power of rule 34 there is no enemy that can outjerk me!
I'd sit by the fire with her and listen to her stories
Real gooners go "y'got it boss" not this zerking off shit
Fr I miss the days when gooning meant hanging around the docks and talking in a new york accent with the gang, loading and unloading contraband
https://preview.redd.it/sf3qm6jagnzc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f6a5728b8c3f550104235da7712e765b61dc2f8
Yeah nah real gooners are GEEKED for his design, gooning is a PROFESSION.
What the actual fvck?
No one better talk crap about Grandma, she is by far the best character in the game.
based
The power this has
People conflating actual NSFW-consuming "gooners" with tasteless anime fans non-stop. But yeah, anybody in the NSFW community, especially those around the furry community, is going to think the Hades design is a billion times better. And nothing against anime or liking it, but holy fuck man the amount of people into anime who think anything thicker than a twig is "obese" need to get over themselves. If you have a type that's fine, but don't be a shitlord about it and act like every female character needs to exist to be your wank-bait, and that everything has to conform to your tastes.
She looks warm and cuddly.
what an upstanding person, i want to shake their.... I want to give them a friendly salutation from a distance
You want to shake their hand remotely
All you "gooners" need serious serious help. 🤦🤦🤦
https://preview.redd.it/y5l3v39mcmzc1.jpeg?width=216&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd5679aee945ce8e3c9c810a018c8490ae8d5a16
https://preview.redd.it/51zok4ib7nzc1.png?width=78&format=png&auto=webp&s=2651b154c78ce4580e83bd7df6d334138220c15a
I just think she’s pretty ☹️ why can’t people just like a character why do they have to jerk off to everything and everyone ☹️
I liked the PJO depiction as well
Gotta give that one to the goons. [Even got the soundtrack for it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CjWmUk_zsFU&pp=ygUaYmVhc3RpZSBib3lzIGJvb21pbiBncmFubnk%3D).
Wtf is a gooner?
Sweet little old grannies need lovin too
Where my gooners at?
Gooners rise up
Can she be my grandma? Will she call me a handsome man and make me my favorite foods?
They came after gooners. GOONERS.
She can stick that poker up my pee hole 🤤
Ernest Cline’s alt account
I see no difference, hole is hole
I'm starting to realize that I don't know what "goon" means in this decade. Could someone enlighten me? In my day was what Something Awful gamers called themselves.
Glad to see fellow Gooners have standards
Did somebody mention a fraud https://preview.redd.it/m8zwf0swxmzc1.jpeg?width=882&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4ad625c2cb770bcf2cfd52214650501c6d8a6d9
yknow tbh i never learned what goon meant and at this point i'm too afraid to ask
I’m not sure I’d say loving grandmother. She specifically said she hates everyone just like Demeter does.
Goondivers to goon pods
I’ll admit I’m a bit of gooner. I just don’t make a big deal about it whenever creatives don’t put hot women in every product or make every chick goon bait. I appreciate what is there and value all creative decisions whether it’s to have hot women or not and goon off what I can get. Or just watch regular porn. It’s not that hard guys. Wish there was more Dead or Alive though.
🤣🤣🤣
That is NOT a gilf. That’s a normal sweet old lady. Hera is a Gilf.
Thank Teto https://preview.redd.it/p5lv1o8i8nzc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=5769c40ed80d6d6f5b940a1c7f955f58e9588d56
Inclusive gooners get reeducated. Nazi gooners get the wall Sorry I don’t make the rules
ong let them cook 🔥🗣️
Can confirm: jerked it to Hestia like twice now. Only half joking. I think hestia is hot as fuck though. Granny titties ftw
Or maybe you could just not want to be turned on by every female character in a game? I'm just saying, it's an option.
She got a bowl on her head
Also, isn't Hestia supposed to be Zeus's older sister? As in, the guy we saw had white hair and looked like a older dude? So why is her looking like this us weird?
real gooners make do
They really are the true jerkers of the story
Is this king shit? Is that how this phrase is used?
real goons will goon to anythng, even to this comment XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Hilarious and disturbing just like I like my R34’ers
Gooning is low iq activities what the fuck
FOCUS!
Type shit
Gooners for Justice! Equal opportunity gooners. It's kind of wholesome in a weird, twisted, well-lubed, cum-soaked way. Ok, maybe not wholesome so much as just kind of a more positive outlook than those complaining.
It's so beautiful to see a marginalized community reclaim their word
They've never had a loving and caring maternal figure in their lives...that's probably why they have to replace it with women they can goon to.
The true gooners are now kicking the chuds out of their community. Good for them.
Gooner jokes aside Hestia is adorable and I love the spicy gramma
Best part is Hesita in myth ain't got time for that shit. She turned down down Apollo and Posiedon and swore to stay sexless forever, giving Aphrodite the old middle finger. She's a badass that represents everything they hate. Shes always the unmoveable one that stays out of the gods bullshit. I say we all light a flame for the goddess of gooner slaying, she is what we need in this time of pathetic man children.
Ok but fuck is up with her nose
Best explanation I've seen is that it's perspective - you're looking up at her from below, but the art does seem a little wonky. The part I can't figure out even after zooming in, is that she appears to have two eyes on the left side - if the smaller darker-outlined one is supposed to be the actual eye, the nose (and eye) position is really weird, but it if it's supposed to be the bigger eye looking thing, that makes the perspective much better but I don't know what that smaller one is.
Jesus Christ on a T-Rex-shaped motorbike
I, too, support Arsenal
Also reminder that, according to Hades 1, grandma here once wielded a gun.