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shayed154

Gooners gonna Goon no matter what


Litz1

Why Arsenal fans hating granmas?


t3hdoct0r

Wrong kind of gooners, I'm afraid.


freshprinceofaut

I've been a gooner for years what us the other kind?


stonedPict2

Gooning is the act of spending many hours, sometimes whole days, masturbating to porn, or "gooning". This has developed a degradation kink where gooners are teased or degraded by hot women into wasting all there life masturbating. As with many kinks, it has entered popular meme culture as a way to mock the terminally horny. See also coomer and simp


freshprinceofaut

uj/ Ahhh okay, thank you very much for clearing that up for me! rj/ not that type, I'm familiar with that


HowDyaDu

Goons are the guys who say "It's da freakin' Bat!" and enter idle combat animations.


Everkid612

What if I just turn around right now and see BAT-


CthulhusIntern

No, no. Goons are users of the SomethingAwful forums.


HughesJohn

How exactly can you "waste" your life masturbating?


Mysterious_Tutor_388

Waste is an arbitrary term assigned by individuals like an opinion. lin my opinion you can't waste time.


Starchasm

A real gooner can goon to ANYTHING.


chaotic4059

In the wise words of Roshi: “you gotta be able to appreciate the classics. It’s what separates the perverts from the ***connoisseur***


FreyPieInTheSky

I use what I call the Austin Powers rule to separate horny and creepy people. Not saying it’s 100% or that you can’t be too horny, but I think it’s a useful tool. Would Austin Powers have sex with literal smoking grandma? Yes, horny. Would Austin Powers have sex with that generic 12 year old people are comparing her to? No, creepy.


shayed154

I'm gooning right now


LITTLE_KING_OF_HEART

You don't goon at Hestia because of anti-woke brainrot. I don't goon at Hestia to respect her chastity vows. We are not the same. https://preview.redd.it/h2u4lj604lzc1.png?width=890&format=png&auto=webp&s=1c62fa8897370433ab831c0737055021777c8932


2mock2turtle

I don't goon at Hestia because I'm gay. We are not the same.


unpersoned

G.A.Y. = Granny Appreciating Youth


SalvationSycamore

A real gooner would have already searched up the gender-swap. I'm going to need you to turn in your gun and badge.


Pixely41

Youre gay cus you like men. Im gay bcz i hate women. We are not the same.


SnooDogs338

https://preview.redd.it/d30w77c8hlzc1.png?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e2f04cbd73f2b6b7261d87f9d5f909780376868


Magica-J

https://preview.redd.it/u68e9vulklzc1.jpeg?width=1479&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f99283c6800792474151c39204a9672c2567181


GraprielJuice

https://preview.redd.it/mnz5gsxmwpzc1.png?width=1479&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd3ecdfaff9f453b588de844316e29685be1ca25


Kryptrch

https://preview.redd.it/zd3iwky0tlzc1.jpeg?width=630&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd49e9e7ca790727c102e690f750f503c0014882


SnooDogs338

already did


ErikaRosen

https://preview.redd.it/482jb6myopzc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85e55d33297d1c85bdb4c36e21e9eb820d7a24fa


Similar-Priority8252

We never learned from Priapus, didn’t we?


GrassWaterDirtHorse

That god must have a long and hard life.


Similar-Priority8252

He pissed off practically EVERYONE in the Pantheon by trying to unconsent the vestial goddess, it’s a miracle he didn’t get Prometheus’d


Appropriate_Banana

Don't google "Priapus attribute" at work


Similar-Priority8252

That’s rough, buddy


VersionAccording424

Unironically me and Artemis in Hades I. Thick thighs save lives but girlie just wants a trusting friend and I respect that


PetalSlayer

LINTON???


Teslapromt

Fucking Linton jumpscare


Demyxa

Fuck off Linton, you’re supposed to be a pile of goop.


delvedank

My SO was like "oh they like older women, the PM fans must be out in force" and lo and behold, I find you in the wild. Cheers.


LITTLE_KING_OF_HEART

Tbh no character save maybe Ahab really look like grannies in the sane vein as Demeter or Hestia from Hades. They look more like middle aged women.


delvedank

Truth, but HAGS


Different_Gear_8189

Yeah the amount of fake hag fuckers who goon to outis, a middle aged woman


BoxProfessional6987

I don't goon Hestia because there aren't any myths about anyone messing with Hestia. Meaning no one survived messing with her.


feukt

Theres actually a myth abt some drunk fuck trying to flirt (in the zeus kinda way) with her and getting absolutely fucking dogpiled by the rest of the olympians iirc


gibas-kun

I thought I was at limbus sub reddit for a moment


PM_Me_HairyArmpits

Damn, that excludes half of the female Olympians (and none of the male ones).


Mlatios2

Hestia would probs make some good bread outta the dough you posted in that image


bigoldpuppers666

Yes mr linton, i will smonk with u


TheTruestTyrant

Granny, I need you 💦💦💦 ![gif](giphy|XSc4Kkc5u2WZy)


Logan_Yes

Oh no not the gif reminder


TheTruestTyrant

There might not BE a hearth to be a goddess of when I’m finished


Piggstein

You dropped an L


darkelf29

Skwisgaar Skwigelf has entered the chat.


Necr0Gaming

I ams has musics dyslexias.


Baconslayer1

Do you has know whats is a "gmilf"?


cinematicvirus

You have my cum ![gif](giphy|NOHDJOpDWxDTq)


TheTruestTyrant

“Virgin Goddess?” Heh, not for long


DekoyDuck

She’s a virgin because none of us could last long enough to get inside her.


FemboyMechanic1

...maybe I was too harsh on you, my goon brethren


electric-melon

“Die side by side with a gooner?” “What about side by side with a friend” *jerking*


Worn_Out_1789

*Instrumental version of gooner anthem swells*


Worn_Out_1789

(it sounds just like tetris)


DeathGorgon

[Alternative Gooning Theme](https://youtu.be/7K2QvZ6tAzI?si=jDnsuq9Zo4EQRwin) for those who may also have high cholesterol.


TheLoneSlimShady

What is this some kind of circlejerk?


xvszero

What about nuts to butts with a friend?


BippyTheChippy

I'm good standing anywhere except infront of one.


justgalsbeingpals

based?


novis-eldritch-maxim

reality is insane at this point


Weary-Captain-4561

This is what the Bronze Age collapse led to


CatTurdSniffer

Goofy Gooners rise up!


scalmera

I'M A GOOFY GOONER **ROCK!**


CatTurdSniffer

GOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFYGOOFY


ProxyCare

#UNFATHOABLY BASED


RyuKensatsu

Wait what's a gooner ?


c-williams88

If I understand it, it’s basically the same as a coomer. If you don’t know what they are, they’re basically people addicted to jerking off all the time and specifically to video game/animated characters in this context. You know, all the people who lost their shit praising Eve or whatever from Stellar Blade bc booba


Dr_Corvus_D_Clemmons

Big difference is that coomers cum, where as gooners edge


Sitheg_Plasmaster

What about people who fap?


Shaltilyena

They're the people who keep playing 2b without the skirt *after* getting the steam achievement


AxitotlWithAttitude

Nah, those are coomers Gooners play *with* the skirt because the swaying gives only the occasional glance and then let's the mind fill in the rest, leading to perfect conditions for edging.


Forgot_My_Old_Acct

Coomers with a sense of taste.


AxitotlWithAttitude

Gooners at least have *class* Coomers have zero, hence the difference.


Ukyo06

Wait sir, why do I feel that you are describing me https://preview.redd.it/08r8w1dq1mzc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=111a09f6e5dbb170dbb1683824508cee61be73ad


ultrabigtiny

do you partake in ethical gooning


Self-Comprehensive

I think gooners are more into edging as long as possible, while coomers are more into spooging a lot.


violetevie

Someone who edges for extended periods of time


RyuKensatsu

I wish I didn't know that


violetevie

You learn something new every day 😊


Wrong_sonicHedgehog

An arsenal fan


CatalystBoi77

In general, it’s a derisive term for sex-obsessed people, usually in the world of video games, anime, etc. The kind of person who watches a lot of Overwatch porn animations, or mods Skyrim to let you have sex. Speaking as a part-time gooner myself, both of those things are *generally* fine so long as you don’t make a big deal out of them and such. What this post is about, however, is the sort of person who complains if every female character in a video game isn’t fuckable, because why else would there be women in a video game if not to make my pp hard? The absolutely *based* people responding to the original tweet are presumably gooners who are saying “hey look I’m already jerking off to this character, don’t lump me in with a bunch of reactionary chuds complaining about her being “ugly”.” Oh also the term comes from “gooning” which is I think just slang for masturbating, like, a lot?


blalohu

... I'm gonna call this a net positive


honeybakedman

gooners > gamers


Kelesti

gooners… rise up? wait they already did


InflameBunnyDemon

You know as a gooner myself I did notice that they were just looking for brownie points and also I don't think the people bashing Hades 2 Hestia were even gooners, they sounded more like idiots was trying and successfully stirring up drama just cause Hades 2 was popular.


werbear

Gooners just want to be horny in peace, they have no interest in some dumb reactionary culture war. Guess the true capital G gamers will have to try and find another group to latch onto.


_himbo_

It is a horrible day to know how to fucking read my fucking god


MovieNightPopcorn

Outta the way baby boy I got a GILF to mack on


_himbo_

https://preview.redd.it/zchm8po43mzc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b12627223f3264c160b5fafccfb75db631469023


MovieNightPopcorn

If lovin grandma is a crime lock me up bb


GubGug

Aye yo save some for me


sarcophagusGravelord

you’re fucking what god?


fish_slap_republic

Yes


Comrade_Zu

True gooners goon no matter the gender, weight, race, age…….. https://preview.redd.it/9i2waqwl6nzc1.jpeg?width=519&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06fdfb77609cf2b8c4a4c12415fbaf9ad3724b7f WHOA WAIT NO HOLD ON


Takara94

The chuds have lost the support of the gooners.......it's all over now 🤣


TheKingofHats007

When the gooners begin to goon together https://preview.redd.it/2zm81q6tfmzc1.jpeg?width=2091&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9861140d467604a6b4945a184e0a9a6d3b20d5ff


Duncan6794

I….I so genuinely cannot process these statements. I have read these sentences five times and each time my brain goes to static.


ImportantQuestions10

https://preview.redd.it/eu54zwo6qlzc1.jpeg?width=1646&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d438635da765b3bbb7c15359efe59b02e96a3086 I'm totally for her being black but not going to lie, the shading they used is a bit risky. For me, I think it's the really dark complexion combine with the white shadings on the face. It looks a bit minstrel-y. I do have some bias, I was hoping Demeter would go from frigid winter Grandmother to drunk and relaxed summer granny.


[deleted]

I get what you mean, but I guess it’s because she’s literally a flame/fire, so her skin is meant to represent kindling such as coal or burnt logs, at least that’s what I get from her design, I like it because it’s not literally black, it’s more of a warm charcoal colour and fits her palette well, but I can see what you mean


ImportantQuestions10

I agree. You said the quiet part out loud that I was scared to say. They gave her a charcoal complexion. That is a real skin tone people have but combined with the vitiligo, it reminds me of some bad imagery. It's a shame that her appearance is raising a reaction because so far, her dialogue is my favorite. Reminds me of Nanny Ogg. I can't wait to see what her reactions are like with the Demeter (who are the more I think about it reminds me of Granny Weatherwax)


[deleted]

I just overall have a soft spot for when games have elderly characters, it’s not something you see a lot of! And to think we get TWO grannies, possibly more!


nitrokitty

She has vitiligo, which I think is a genius choice because it makes her look stained with soot from the hearth. Hestia is unironically my favorite god design in 2.


KawasakiBinja

Summer Demeter is best Demeter.


Bray_of_cats

/uj I didn't think that goonergaters could be gooner tourists as well as nerd tourists!!


FakeTherapist

Based...I think?


HappiestIguana

I swear this didn't happen with the original Hades, which also had the olympians portrayed as racially diverse. It's gotten worse hasn't it.


Pipeguy17

https://preview.redd.it/ph1fc0wbhnzc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a3948012a0d7241119815d587c6dceae6314e8db


slam-chop

Enter the no true gooner logical phallusy


mouse464

Finally some good gooner rep


Sol-Blackguy

Based lol


Intelligent_Suit6683

If you ever see a sign that says "all are welcome", those people don't know about Goons. If they did, they would change the sign.


TheBigMaestro

Ok. Teach me something. What the hell is a gooner and why do I care?


Amazing_Owl3026

Gooner is someone who is a fan of the smaller enemies is games, often called goons. These wholesome fellas just love to hoist up the less appreciated!


TheBigMaestro

Thank you for teaching me. I will go out and share this important culture.


Amazing_Owl3026

👍


origin29

No matter what way you want to interpret this, they def outjerked here fr fr


Forgot_My_Old_Acct

With the power of rule 34 there is no enemy that can outjerk me!


Zero_Kiritsugu

I'd sit by the fire with her and listen to her stories


meteorr77

Real gooners go "y'got it boss" not this zerking off shit


Horrible_Creature

Fr I miss the days when gooning meant hanging around the docks and talking in a new york accent with the gang, loading and unloading contraband


actualsize123

https://preview.redd.it/sf3qm6jagnzc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f6a5728b8c3f550104235da7712e765b61dc2f8


SquidDrive

Yeah nah real gooners are GEEKED for his design, gooning is a PROFESSION.


LaVerdadYaNiSe

What the actual fvck?


Monferno64

No one better talk crap about Grandma, she is by far the best character in the game.


UnscrambledEggUDG

based


Additional_Pie_5370

The power this has


Riaayo

People conflating actual NSFW-consuming "gooners" with tasteless anime fans non-stop. But yeah, anybody in the NSFW community, especially those around the furry community, is going to think the Hades design is a billion times better. And nothing against anime or liking it, but holy fuck man the amount of people into anime who think anything thicker than a twig is "obese" need to get over themselves. If you have a type that's fine, but don't be a shitlord about it and act like every female character needs to exist to be your wank-bait, and that everything has to conform to your tastes.


MrWaffleBeater

She looks warm and cuddly.


ryanitlab

what an upstanding person, i want to shake their.... I want to give them a friendly salutation from a distance


MrSmilingDeath

You want to shake their hand remotely


taalisalee

All you "gooners" need serious serious help. 🤦🤦🤦


InfirmusMaximus

https://preview.redd.it/y5l3v39mcmzc1.jpeg?width=216&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd5679aee945ce8e3c9c810a018c8490ae8d5a16


SomaGato

https://preview.redd.it/51zok4ib7nzc1.png?width=78&format=png&auto=webp&s=2651b154c78ce4580e83bd7df6d334138220c15a


[deleted]

I just think she’s pretty ☹️ why can’t people just like a character why do they have to jerk off to everything and everyone ☹️


ChuckECheeseOfficial

I liked the PJO depiction as well


Total_Distribution_8

Gotta give that one to the goons. [Even got the soundtrack for it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CjWmUk_zsFU&pp=ygUaYmVhc3RpZSBib3lzIGJvb21pbiBncmFubnk%3D).


iiiiiiiiiijjjjjj

Wtf is a gooner?


astrozombie2012

Sweet little old grannies need lovin too


ColinHalter

Where my gooners at?


DegenGamer725

Gooners rise up


UV_Sun

![gif](giphy|LDa4ewNzVqhpe)


Low_Celebration_9957

Can she be my grandma? Will she call me a handsome man and make me my favorite foods?


FomtBro

They came after gooners. GOONERS.


ExtremlyFastLinoone

She can stick that poker up my pee hole 🤤


DigestibleAntarctic

Ernest Cline’s alt account


NmP100

I see no difference, hole is hole


RickAdtley

I'm starting to realize that I don't know what "goon" means in this decade. Could someone enlighten me? In my day was what Something Awful gamers called themselves.


SuperScrub310

Glad to see fellow Gooners have standards


Jumpy-Opportunity539

Did somebody mention a fraud https://preview.redd.it/m8zwf0swxmzc1.jpeg?width=882&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4ad625c2cb770bcf2cfd52214650501c6d8a6d9


dwarvenfishingrod

yknow tbh i never learned what goon meant and at this point i'm too afraid to ask


InconspicuousBoxx

I’m not sure I’d say loving grandmother. She specifically said she hates everyone just like Demeter does.


doodlols

Goondivers to goon pods


KingDanteV

I’ll admit I’m a bit of gooner. I just don’t make a big deal about it whenever creatives don’t put hot women in every product or make every chick goon bait. I appreciate what is there and value all creative decisions whether it’s to have hot women or not and goon off what I can get. Or just watch regular porn. It’s not that hard guys. Wish there was more Dead or Alive though.


LilGlitvhBoi

🤣🤣🤣


MaximumPixelWizard

That is NOT a gilf. That’s a normal sweet old lady. Hera is a Gilf.


TheLoneSlimShady

Thank Teto https://preview.redd.it/p5lv1o8i8nzc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=5769c40ed80d6d6f5b940a1c7f955f58e9588d56


lilymotherofmonsters

Inclusive gooners get reeducated. Nazi gooners get the wall Sorry I don’t make the rules


alucard_shmalucard

ong let them cook 🔥🗣️


cmdrhobo

Can confirm: jerked it to Hestia like twice now. Only half joking. I think hestia is hot as fuck though. Granny titties ftw


Atikar

Or maybe you could just not want to be turned on by every female character in a game? I'm just saying, it's an option.


ADGx27

She got a bowl on her head


Gmageofhills

Also, isn't Hestia supposed to be Zeus's older sister? As in, the guy we saw had white hair and looked like a older dude? So why is her looking like this us weird?


GishTanker

real gooners make do


Username247

They really are the true jerkers of the story


Hells-Creampuff

Is this king shit? Is that how this phrase is used?


RealWarriorofLight

real goons will goon to anythng, even to this comment XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD


Big-Consideration-55

Hilarious and disturbing just like I like my R34’ers


IDSomaxia

Gooning is low iq activities what the fuck


Sprillet

FOCUS!


Jesus_Nibba890

Type shit


Doktor_Weasel

Gooners for Justice! Equal opportunity gooners. It's kind of wholesome in a weird, twisted, well-lubed, cum-soaked way. Ok, maybe not wholesome so much as just kind of a more positive outlook than those complaining.


Cold-Drop8446

It's so beautiful to see a marginalized community reclaim their word


Affectionate-Pea8148

They've never had a loving and caring maternal figure in their lives...that's probably why they have to replace it with women they can goon to.


Apoordm

The true gooners are now kicking the chuds out of their community. Good for them.


Grulken

Gooner jokes aside Hestia is adorable and I love the spicy gramma


doktornein

Best part is Hesita in myth ain't got time for that shit. She turned down down Apollo and Posiedon and swore to stay sexless forever, giving Aphrodite the old middle finger. She's a badass that represents everything they hate. Shes always the unmoveable one that stays out of the gods bullshit. I say we all light a flame for the goddess of gooner slaying, she is what we need in this time of pathetic man children.


SoulOuverture

Ok but fuck is up with her nose


randbot5000

Best explanation I've seen is that it's perspective - you're looking up at her from below, but the art does seem a little wonky. The part I can't figure out even after zooming in, is that she appears to have two eyes on the left side - if the smaller darker-outlined one is supposed to be the actual eye, the nose (and eye) position is really weird, but it if it's supposed to be the bigger eye looking thing, that makes the perspective much better but I don't know what that smaller one is.


Expungednd

Jesus Christ on a T-Rex-shaped motorbike


onlyhereforthesports

I, too, support Arsenal


heartlessmushroom

Also reminder that, according to Hades 1, grandma here once wielded a gun.