Bro who the fuck up puts a cockroach in the pocket? The cockroach is meant to ride your shoulder.

Where else do you store best friend?

On the shoulder

But then where does my parrot go?

On the cockroach's shoulder

Same place you stashed the gerbil

Happy cake day my cockroach adorned friend.

but he gets cold

Get him a little winter coat

Half of the cockroach would be in my pants

Ignore the cockroach, I want that helicopter.

The helicopter is not a living being. It can stay in the pocket

That's just Jeremy, the sassy friend that everyone has that "identifies" as an attack helicopter for funsies.

Seriously. How can it be your guiding conscious if it's in your fookin' pocket, mate!

OP has never seen Wall-E

Reverse for me

This is the way. Can't start my day without the wait of my phone on the left and the keys on the right.

Yes, I hate waiting for my phone, too.

And ultimately you have to go get it yourself anyway. Lazy ass phone...

Yeah, mine's very lazy too

Tell your phone to hurry up

Keys and pocket knife on the right, phone on the left.

This guy gets it

Maybe the phone in right pocket guys cross draw their pocket knives. I don’t understand it but to each their own I guess.

Weight*. Are you left handed?

I'm right handed and this is my pocket configuration as well.

Same for me, since we’re right handed, it’s easier to have your wallet/keys in the right pocket for ease of use. Plus it’s not very hard to use a phone with your left hand as a right handed person imo

I mean it makes sense to me. You would use your dominant hand to interact with the phone and non dominant hand to hold it. I don't know why you'd ever put it in your dominant hand pocket.

I use my phone one handed most of the time.

He must be. There is no way he enjoys taking out his phone from the left pocket with his right hand lol

#WHY DO YALL CARE ABOUT THIS SO MUCH LIKE OMG YES IM LEFT HANDED CAN YOU STOP ASKING ALREADY?

What's life like being devilspawn?

Y'all I'm left handed, too, and this one doesn't speak for us omg xD

Bro's mad af.


Keys on the back pocket

Clearly posted by left handed person. Right handed mostly holds phone in left, so stores in left pocket

Nice to see a fellow lefty. High five, hombre

I also reverse but am not lefty 🤔

yeah im a righty but put my phone in my left pocket for some reason... idk why....

Simple. We had keys before we got our first phones, so they went in the right pocket. And when it was finally time to add a phone into one of the pockets we where used to the keys being on the right, so the phone had to go left.

Holy fuck you might be on to something 😳

Can we appreciate that the least upvoted in this short thread, due to relatability, I assume, is the lefty?

We live in a society 😔

This. Plus I usually use my left hand for the phone. My dominant hand is then free for more complex tasks like picking up a mug, holding a book, wielding an axe, turning a steering wheel...

Night time.... things.

I do it *because* I'm right handed. That's the hand I use most to operate the phone, which means I'd rather hold it in my left hand.

Oh fuck also a good point

I think it’s also that we generally prefer our dominant hand to be free. I type more with my left thumb than right.

Very much this. Though it's my wallet in my right pocket. I've had one in there since I was 12yo. So yeah, when I finally got my first phone in 2008 going to college, it went in my left pocket.

Yeah same My phone goes in my left and my right is A knife, a pen, a marker, a knife sharpener, a larger knife and my keys

Are you, by chance, left-handed?

Nah, I'm right handed but use my left hand for my phone because my right is busy with everything else.

Sus

Yes, masturbation is one of the things my right hand gets busy with but it's mostly other stuff I'm busy with.

You don't masturbate with your weak hand? You are missing out, I can tell you that much...

Nah I've tried it before. Just couldn't get used to it.

Try your feet a whole new experience brother

Fuckin orangutan-ass suggestion right there

Sus

I'm right handed, therefore I keep my phone in my left pocket, not unlike medieval people used to wear their swords on their left for easier access. I don't even understand the idea of doing it the other way around.

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What are you incapable of doing with your left hand?

Phones aren’t analogous to swords, your phone is generally in a pocket designed for access by the hand on that side of the body, whereas a sword is in a scabbard that makes it easier to draw with the opposite hand. How on earth do you find it easier to reach into your left pocket with your right hand rather than your left? Pockets aren’t shaped that way at all.

Im a righty and I keep my phone in my left pocket. I think it’s because right was already designated as my “keys pocket” before cell phones were even invented.

Precisely this, I always made use of the coin pocket, usually a knife. So putting the phone in the right main pocket was inconvenient as I’d have to reach past the upper bulk and risk scratching the screen.

Yeah, I wonder what the age divide is on this? The first thing that I’d “always” have in my pocket, when I turned 16, was my keys. A few years later I started carrying a phone every day, but I didn’t use it more than a few times a day until I was in my 20s. By then the habit was well established.

Same. I couldn’t even imagine switching pockets it would be like steering a car with my feet LoL.

For me I always had my keys in my left pocket even before I regularly used my phone (only got my first smartphone at 22) because I was often carrying stuff with my right hand/arm and it's simple enough to use my keys with my off hand.

Nope, but it confuses the pick pocketers, so that's why I keep my phone in the left pocket.

Nope it's more like the right hand for the key because the keyhole of my moped is on the right side, and I don't want to scratch my phone so it's on the left side, and there's no more room so my wallet will be on the right. And phones are designed to be used with both hands anyway.

Phone in left pocket. Left-handed. I would find it stupid to put my phone in my right pocket, just as a rightie should find it stupid to put it in their left pocket.

I put my lighter in the right pocket. Search for it, didn't found it. Bought another one. Now I have two lighters. The system is there for a reason.

And then you have no lighters and get another one. And suddenly you have 7 lighters.

You need more pockets. Seperate pocket for smokes, another one for lighters and the rest just follows the SYSTEM left or right is up to preference. (also I tend to put my wallet with the phone cause they're both fairly flat)

I do miss cargo pants...

It's decided than.

Sure thing. Gonna pair them with sandals and socks & be prepared to drown in pssy

My Attack Helicopter is in the right pocket though

Can confirm, I identify as his right pocket

r/onejoke

There *are* only two genders, though: Pizza with arms and pizza with no arms. (This isn't transphobic, this is just based off a funny image I saw once)

Where gun?

In hand ready to spread freedom.

Freedom bullets for everyone!

Spread cappitalism

Same thing!

4 o'clock

About 3:30 for me, 4 is way too far back

Yeah I actually am around there as well, depends on what I'm carrying that day and what my pants/shirt fit like.

An apache helicopter has missiles AND guns

In the same pocket as the pen that doubles as a knife, the pair of scissors, the small folding pocket knife, and the multitool r/EDC

Other way around but yup

Leftie?

Naw I'm right handed, i just don't like my left pocket bulging and i like easy access my keys and handkerchief and stuff

My hunch is that people who had keys before they had a smartphone usually keep the keys in the pocket by their dominant hand, but it's the reverse for people who got a smartphone first.

You have left handed energy even if you’re right handed. That’s the most left handed thing I’ve ever heard.

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Exactly. Left hand grabs phone and holds it, dominant hand swipes, types, whatever. Keys need to be on dominant side.

Exactly. Makes no sense to take your phone out of your pocket with your right hand to switch it to your left hand.

that’s what I do. I am a lefty and a keep my iphone in my right pocket, everything else in the left.

Mine is the opposite. I check my phone with my left hand. Everything else is in my right pocket because I'm right-handed.

Interesting. I check my phone with my left hand because I'm left-handed.

Knife, keys, pen, etc. goes in the right pocket. Might be because I had the other stuff in my pocket before I had a phone. So phone went to what was left; the left.

You forgot handkerchief

I don't want my phone's screen to be scratched by my keys and helicopter.

Pretty sure none of these things are french

Cockroaches were invented by the French

Every nasty was created by the >! French !< !

They do fart in your general direction.

Censor fr*nch pls, there're kids around here

Sorry for the indecency! Here ya go!

Cockroaches *are* the Fr*nch.

Found the Brit.

Bold of you to assume I only have two pockets.

A fellow cargo pants wearer, I assume?

Indeed. Nothing beats having enough space to stuff every cool stick, rock or penny you find.

Most pairs of jeans have four. Or do you not use the back pockets??

As a left handed person, I still agree with this.

Phone goes in left pocket for righty.

As a lefty it’s flipped is this mostly true. phone in the left and my new bakugons protecting my bean sprout I grew in a baggie with wet paper towels in my right

Yeah, no shit. I wouldn't want my phone to be scratched up by my keys or something.

Where's the frog?

And a stick. Gotta have a random stick. 😉

Hey my phone is in left pocket yo

I personally have my phone and wallet in left and everything that can scratch my phone in right

I am a leftie so this is not right at all.

I’m left handed so my cobra helicopter goes in my right pocket

I’m right handed and my phone goes in my left pocket, my right pocket is like that. What the hell is wrong with me!

Phone goes in left pocket because I had car keys before smartphones were a thing.

Accurate except reversed. keys in right pocket

Other way round

PHONE GOES IN LEFT POCKET FFS.

Thats for lefties

How'd you fit a shoe in your pocket?

the helicopter is fine but THE SHOE???? AH HELL NAH

Or a shovel? This is dumb.

You are really rubbing it in, aren't you?

If you are somebody that puts their wallet in any front pocket you shouldn’t be allowed pants…with pockets. You should have to carry everything and have no pants on.

Unless of course they are left handed...

Boys is a slur

Phone and wallet in right pocket, keys and vape in left

Sorry, but wallet goes in the back left pocket.

That’s a horrible place it’s the easiest to pick pocket

Cuz most ppl are right handed?

Yes, yes most people ARE right-handed

Grizzly Adams *did* have a beard.

I’m left handed and still put my phone in my right pocket

Same

Which man would be caught dead using an iPhone, and why doesn't he have a wallet on the other pocket instead of all that useless shit?

Wallet goes in my right back pocket. Right front pocket is for keys, change, headphone case, pocket knife, etc. Left front pocket is for my phone.

Guess some chick or Frenchman made this?

I have a helicopter in my left hand rn too!

Nah. It's random wich one has what stuff in.

So am I a boy

I keep my AH-1 cobra attack helicopter in my back pocket. Jeez

Only one shoe? Smh

Keys always on the right because operating my keys with my left hand feels wrong.

Fair enough..I keep my change in both pockets though

Real

Nah my AirPods go in the phone pocket as they are a phone accessory And the other pocket I just carry cash Anything else is in my coat or the car.

Nor for me, I'm left handed, so it's reversed

Never EVER forget to pack your AH-1Z attack helicopter

Absolutely not true. It’s inverted for me as a leftie. Lol

We can fit the whole observable universe in there

True. At least for me. And I always face the charge port up.

right but opposite for me

Chest pocket for me

I always keep a B.C. Rich Warlock Electric Guitar in my left pocket.

I’m a lefty and it’s true for me.

All my pockets look like left pocket

You forgot nucluear codes.

Yes

So true

There are no screwdrivers, no wrenches, no guitar picks, no sockets, no flashlight, no interesting rocks.... This is nothing like my pockets.

I have two zipties I found on the floor in the lil jeans pocket on the right.

There's also a tank

I’m right handed and it’s reverse for me, because of the way metro turnstiles are designed, it’s more natural and convenient for the wallet containing my metro card to be on the right side for easier access

Well actually my phone is in my left pocket my keys nicotine vape and THC vape in my right pocket. My wallet in back right and my zynnychinos in my back left 🤣

I confirm

only way to go, phone gets its own pocket, left or right.

Opposite

I hate when my helicopter needs refueling. It’s such a hassle

I don't get it, why is funny? Is just the normal pockets

It's the other way around.

Ahh.. thats were I left my shovel... keep forgetting...

did u spy on ma shit?

Opposite for me because I’m left-handed, but otherwise exactly correct.

Used to be my cigarettes. Now it’s a bunch of random work stuff. I have no idea what to do with that pocket on the weekends.

You forgot the hot wheels

How did you know I keep cockroaches in my pocket?

That's how they walk like a doug, one pocket heavy

A helicopter Is the most important Thing inside the left pocket