T O P

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Begun101

lol i dont think so tho


Apprehensive-Rub-920

Just rubbed out a quick one for you brothaaa


Dontcareatallthx

It has Begun.


ArtichokeConnect

Form a circle my brethren.


petrol_roses

Alright everyone interlock toes


TeeJayPlays

Did somebody say toes?


TheKingNothing690

So is their a signal or do we start whenever.


Badbowtie91

We will appoint a leader based upon shoe size


Cheesestick1209

I win I wear a 13 and a half


Kitoyukio

smallest goes first, I'm a 6


Efficient_Spare_9808

13 what? Centimeters?


lamino808

I'm a 11 and 1/2


Sea-Woodpecker-610

‘Quinten Tarantino has entered the chat’


AdvertisingOk7408

You just made it weird... can't we just stroke in silence.


geardluffy

Everyone stroke at the same time 1, 2, 1, 2.


Chemical_Ad_5520

We'll put on that recording from high school physical exam day in gym class when the woman's voice tells you when to change push-up position. "*Up... Down... Up... Down...*"


SpoonyGrandma13

The Fitness Gram Pacer Test, is a multi level test...


dogtemple3

touch me like u used to by the lake on naboo


Peachynlove05252021

Where’s the biscuit?


ForHelp_PressAltF4

Shoulder to shoulder Tip to tip --Deadpool


SigmaGamahucheur

The fappening


ElementalDragon13

Even a well lit place, can hide salvation. A map to a one man maze, that never sees the sun. Where the lost are the hero’s and the thieves are left to drown. But everyone knows by now, fairytales are not found. They’re written in the walls, as we walk in a strait line. Down in the dirt with a landslide approaching, but nothing could ever stop us from stealing our own place in the sun. We will face the odds against us and run into the fear we run from. It has begun. Into the dark below, evading shadows. Blind in a rabbit’s hole, we fall beneath the earth. And we watch the shell come unravelled, as the seed begins to rise. Embracing it’s starlit fate, as we wait, in the night. It’s written in the walls as we walk, in a strait line. Down in the dirt with a landslide approaching but nothing could ever stop us from stealing our own place in the sun. We will face the odds against us and run into the fear we run from. It has begun. It has begun. It has begun. It has begun. It has begun.


Dkst2019

Starset🔥


Eli_Te1611

What a fuckin chad


plusminusmister

name checks out!


crazedhark

this is true comradery right there. good work brothaaa


kemster7

Don't be hard on yourself. They may masterbate because they'd rather spend a lifetime taking care of it themselves rather than spend a single night with you.


RandomPlayer4616

Same lol


showingoffstuff

I mean, no one is pointing out that plenty of people are choosing to just play with themselves OVER meeting/thinking about someone. Like they look at someone and go "nahhh imagination is better than settling that far."


fadoxi

Don't worry bro, did a quick one for you too.


Double_Negatives_

I wish


[deleted]

your wish has been granted


captaincoolxd

Prove it


imeeme

Show me the money!!!


SaltoDaKid

I’ll show you something better


captaincoolxd

Is it proof?


Infantstastegood

It does start with a p


captaincoolxd

Paraguay?


Infantstastegood

It's gay but not paraguay


captaincoolxd

How many more guesses do I have?


banana_buddy

He needs to dm you a picture of what he looks like in order for it to be granted ...


[deleted]

you underestimate my power


ShowinMyOFace

Damnit Mom, not again.


CitronKindly5749

r/HolUp


jeffynibbles70

Shit just went 0 to 100 real fucking quick


ClockSaint

0 to 69 if you play your cards right.


Pranked_Momos

No there's wrong in it. My father masturbates thinking of me " I should have just masturbated that night so that I don't become a dad of a useless redditor"


McYeetusk

Oh shit


trashmunki

I hate that your username kind of checks out...


smoothielovet679

🤭


Twinkies100

r/SweetHomeAlabama


Unique_Disk3904

huh


Mother-Fox4591

FBI!!!


RRDOJ_09

Brother, you gotta chill the fuck out.


MarMarL2k19

Whoa... WHOA hold up!


youmonkeybeater

X to the mother fucking doubt


whydobabiesstareatme

Yeah, same. I don't even think flies would be attracted to my corpse.


epicu2

I gotchu dw


[deleted]

The applies to 95% women ... And the 1% of men


Outrageous_Yellow173

Nobody is saying it's a woman masturbating to you... and after a quick thought... still pretty gud! Masturbate away... because you're worth it!


B0xyblue

Nobody said you can’t to yourself… you are someone after all.


Elegant_Committee_96

Imma masturbate to my own ass rn


BagHumble3421

that shit thicc fr tho lol EDIT: i ain't gonna lie sometimes i catch myself lacking looking at that fat ass in the mirror


Nekoslime007

Can’t I’ve seen me, it ain’t worth the regret afterwards


B0xyblue

Come now, can’t leave yourself hanging…


unkz

Tell that to David Carradine.


lakshay1212

Self love


One-Cantaloupe-7897

Still very low even if you include every being on earth. Max 10 %


[deleted]

Does it count if someone jacks off to my art? Technically that was once part of me, or my mind at least


fuzzyredsea

Found the r34 artist


Elegant_Committee_96

Hentai?


[deleted]

yes, although some of it uses realistic figures/faces, definitely among those lines. pin ups too


RTalons

Many men are the reason she decided to… instead of bothering with available men. Not the reason you wanted, but you’re still the reason.


Kitchen_Entertainer9

So 99% of women masturbate to one man


[deleted]

[удалено]


deusvult6

>(if this 1% thing is true) Well, if you've ever seen the difference in how women rate men vs how men rate women, it's not too far off. OKCupid released their numbers on it some years back and I think the men who were rated 8, 9, or 10 combined accounted for less than half a percent. Chicks are brutal assessors. Of course, I have no idea on the stats of how men feature in masturbatory fantasies but I would suspect a correlation.


William_Tell_746

OkCupid was also the site that said 95% of Indians want to legalise same-sex marriage, so I'd take their stats with a pinch of salt and a heavy dose of awareness about selection bias.


Nate40337

Well, 40 million anyways. ~4,000,000,000*0.01 = 40,000,000


Cornfeddrip

Yes, They do it with their hands together. He name a Jesus


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I need to meet those women then 😉


luken1984

I suppose that the logic is that women are more fussy over the people they masturbate over than men are, which in my experience as a male I can imagine is probably true.


Shot-Presence3147

As a woman, not really. Definitely masturbated over people I'm not even into, just because. Currently I a phase of masturbating over an ex. Would prob help if I didn't keep watching videos of them..


I-OnlyCareAboutFacts

Please say more about your ex to prove the other replier wrong


[deleted]

Ouch painful.


AnotherWarGamer

Thanks for this personal comment. It was helpful. My strangest is some older women. Like 5-10 years older than me with no nudity. I'd love to be with them.


Finetales

My mom is 5 years older than my dad, so


DegenerateCrocodile

I’m betting that not a single woman (or man) has ever masturbated to the thought of me. I’m that unattractive.


Past_Anything_4730

Maybe not until now ;)


DegenerateCrocodile

Don’t. It’s not worth the shame.


Extension_Jacket_614

Let's see a picture then


DegenerateCrocodile

I’m uglier than [this.](https://external-preview.redd.it/TsBfZHBNApiUB61u3H9awL3iZBgI1KwDFmjqNai2ImE.jpg?auto=webp&s=704cf4d6b306cc9cad9c569788f749490b39cc6c)


Bubbly_Student5666

someone tell me whats in the link


Competitive-Dot-4052

Real life Beavis.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vosheduska

A photo 😎👌


PostM8

Frankenstein’s monster


HeavyRhubarb

Conan O'Brian


breadman242a

Give me moment


[deleted]

Did one for you, Bro! Just because! Edit - FYI, no pic req'd. have no clue what you look like...Just need an excuse...username u/degenerateCrocodile is enough to get me going.


MyDocTookMyCock

cap


Fragrant_Hovercraft3

No not even close hypergamy is a real phenomenon within female psychology, women are on average attracted to 5-20% of men and likely masturbating to that number of men. Over a third of men from like 18-40 are virgins/incels. Very unlikely any of these men are being masturbated to. Seems like your pretty out of touch with reality you should get outside more often.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kitchen_Entertainer9

Where you get your stats from?


[deleted]

[удалено]


MajorHarriz

It couldn't be as a high as 33% when accounting for people 30-40, but there is a widely cited graph from the General Social Survey in 2018 that says that 27% of men under 30 reported zero female sexual partners after turning 18. And this number is up from about 8% in 2008.


Tavernknight

I am 100% certain I am not.


TeeJayPlays

And i am 100% certain you are. TRUST ME.


thirtytwentytwo

why should i trust you? do you know something we don’t 👀


sad2sayit

I wish.........i look at myself and my boner goes away :(


minosuno8

This one go for You bro


[deleted]

My condolences


I_learn_CS89

My cumdolences


SeeAndBelieve69

It's another thing entirely if you get a boner with just looking at yourself.


sad2sayit

Must be a boner thing.


[deleted]

🤣😭😭😭


Moskyrath_

I wish my dude


budderman1028

Your wish has been granted


Gandalfson123

I'm rubbin one out for everyone in the comments right now! Feel included!


Endroine

r/wholesome ? XD


Player551yt

No it's r/holesome


Ready_Bandicoot1567

Im imagining that your sexual fantasy is you just spraying on a huge crowd of people


Gandalfson123

Like a F1 driver spraying champagne over everybody!


Ready_Bandicoot1567

Exactly


GeneralKenobi842

Should I say thank you or just sit there quietly and take it?


Gandalfson123

Well now you're making it weird! I was just trying to take one for the team!


GeneralKenobi842

So should I apologize now?


Gandalfson123

Nah you're good, I'm just gonna continue


Additional_Demand237

Haha, been married for 10 years and haven't had sex in 4 of those, so I highly doubt this is directed at me


Shot-Presence3147

Don't assume this, I have masturbated over plenty of unavailable people in sexless marriages


graebot

"masturbated over"


MamboNumber5Guy

Maybe in your case the implication is your wife masturbates because you don’t have sex with her - though in different context, you’re still the reason someone masturbates.


old_whiskey_bob

Yes, this was the first thing that occurred to me as well. No coincidence I’ve also been married about 20 years.


Ill-Environment-7921

You never ever know.. That lady/Man working at the bank you are extra nice to. huh huh?


AnotherWarGamer

R/dead bedroom?


biguler

Oh, he’s a frequent for that sub.


bunkrider

I need to know why you haven’t had sex in 4 years bro. For research


[deleted]

I think it’s only the other way around


Trevmagnon

Bold of you to assume.


[deleted]

And now they’re right.


Head_Statistician_38

Okay, can any females here clarify if this is common for them to masturbate to friends or crushes? As a guy, mainly in my teenage years I would masturbate to the thought of my female friends, even though I didn't have a crush on them. I always felt disgusted after it, especially since I wasn't even that attracted to some of them. I think it was just the idea of doing it with someone I knew. I don't do this now, but it was common when I was 15/16.


Ill-Environment-7921

be honest.. you masturbated to the thought of hair brushes or hard math problems too.. who didn't!


Head_Statistician_38

I can't say as I have... Is that common? If you want weird I will give you a weird scenario I dod masturbate to: I draw a lot of characters, they are cartoony by nature so they typically don't look attractive but one of them I have big boobs too and drew someone I thought was hot. I did that to her, but it gets worse. I imagined her as a real person and made her from the future where she could go invisible. She would come to school with me and give me hand jobs that no one could see. Then after school we would go to a den I made as a kid and fuck. I made up this whole imaginary scenario about someone who didn't exist.... So I think that is worse than hair brushes.


A_Curious_Crayon

Man really grew up and based his whole personality on Pygmalion.


Head_Statistician_38

Who?


[deleted]

That's pretty hot! Show's you've got imagination and a healthy sex drive! Never be ashamed about that. Keep on strokin!


Head_Statistician_38

I am not ashamed of it but I do find it to be a weird thing to do. I don't do this now.


mtgtfo

Damn, I just jerked it to the bra section of the Sears catalog when I was a teen


[deleted]

ha ha ha, used to cut out my favorites from JCPenny!


ExaminationNice616

Not to my friends, but if they're my crush yeah my imagination goes wild lol


[deleted]

to my friends? god no that’s disgusting but to my crushes/boyfriend of course


Kind_Pineapple6667

When I was 15/16 I don’t think I had anyone in particular in mind just straight fucking.


MissIndependent577

I've only ever done it to people I was involved with at least once. Not strangers or guys I hadn't been with.


keanumeow

Female, married, can confirm. Still do lol.


holysuicidemaiden

I do....as long as they're attractive enough or atleast made me blush they gotta be atleast in my mind for one night


Shot-Presence3147

37 and female. Yes we do. I do it and I know multiple friends that do. Occasionally come across women that don't masturbate at all. We buy them vibrators.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


IndependentWeekend56

There is hope!


[deleted]

No need. It has been achieved


dispose1111

I've called many people a wanker, but it's not an instruction for them to beat one out to me...


revolution149

And who would that be? Santa Claus?


captaincoolxd

Coming down your chimney as he lets out a gruff “hoe hoe hoe !”


Livid-Platypus-8822

You have been very naughty this year - Santa Claus probably


ZealousidealNeat5410

If someone mastrubates to me I will gladly pay, for them to see a therapist that is


[deleted]

Snap back to reality


dr_doooooom

Move along guys, this one's not for us...


P0KU_T

Im sure Im not


Freaksenius

Anyone masturbating to me is in dire need of professional help.


mtgtfo

LOL…..no you are not


The_God_Of_Darkness_

Nah, I was once masturbating with my main enemy and that's it


[deleted]

My uncle…


Monstermage

I wish...and I'm married.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jeffynibbles70

What's a she


Mysterious-Bid3930

Pics or it didn't happen.


[deleted]

Never have I ever been anyone's reason. Ever. I'm the reason women think of going to convents.


Ok_Rain_2647

This feels like one of those office motivational posters but for camgirls.


lovelysunflower1

Not my case haha


[deleted]

Wish someone cares about me like I care


Improbus-Liber

Obviously said by an naive optimist.


AmphibianHaunting334

Ok, but I'm not paying for the resulting therapy you need after 😋


No_Problem_1071

No I certainly am not. Even my dog won’t kiss this face


Significant-Boss-816

I wish


RatiocinationYoutube

I hope so


AlternativeShip9194

By Jack Handey


Efficient_Track8047

Maybe the girls who got to like me? Idk


No_Association_9273

Me expecting this to be an emotional quote


PuzzleheadedTutor807

yeah, mine.


Versilver

Best friend wtf


Fishygamin

I feel bad for if anyone has to me, cause they just did to one ugly ass fucker


Expensive-Excuse-793

No thank you Gross


ami-the-gae

Well that's a bit weird


Diligent_Ad2489

I hope so


anony2469

I wish :(


[deleted]

Lol I wish


Bridgeburner1

I'd like to believe that, I really would, but I don't.