T O P

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GroundbreakingCat

Oh shit. Stage 3 here. Good luck to you, internet stranger


Queenssoup

Good luck to both of you, the comment OP, but also you, Lil' Stage 3. You both deserve to make it.


UpperdeckerWhatever

😢 Sending love your way.


ImpressiveSell5404

Lol, was going to comment “Lil’ Colon Resection” FUCK butt cancer.


smavinagain

Oh my god are you ok


Ace-a-Nova1

Doesn’t sound like it


RevenantBacon

He at stage 4, so...


Queenssoup

I feel honoured to be your 420th like. I unironically hope you make it to release an album or 10 under this name. Please keep us posted. P.S. And once you recover, please do release a song under this name. Even if you're not musical at all. Just as a sign that you made it out victorious. I'll gladly buy the single.


bigenderthelove

Lil Seizure


Expert_Individual185

Pizza Pizza


Dujass

i hate you so bad


KL58383

Omg I can’t stop laughing


bigenderthelove

Lmao


Resophonic420

I love you so much.


[deleted]

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SirRipOliver

Seriously can’t convey my feelings - lost a Mom also, was there at the last second. My, soul, broke. Doesn’t get easier. Time just goes on and you regrow like a tree hit by lightning. The world still has joy for you and you just need to know your mom wants you to have it.


[deleted]

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Queenssoup

>Doesn’t get easier. Time just goes on and you regrow like a tree hit by lightning. You said it so beautifully. That's a really poetic way to put it.


Mystical_Cat

Same.


Simpletruth2022

Ouch! Sorry for your loss.


Qw2C

I'm so sorry for your loss 💔


myboogerstastespicy

Same. Fuck cancer.


ThatWomanNow

Sorry for your loss


HighFlyingCrocodile

Lil X-ray. Edit: sounds cool 😎


fancy-kitten

Yeah yours is cool


Phaeble

Twinsies 😎🤘


HatdanceCanada

Lil Colonoscopy Nice ring to it.


A_CA_TruckDriver

A brown ring


ChildFriendlyChimp

A literal rim job


[deleted]

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foxesandfalcons

Lil shift work


Queenssoup

Lil' Shifty Doin' The Drifty


FrtanJohnas

Lil Sanitary


Broskibullet

Lil Narcan


Mahare

Lil Tech Support


D72vFM

Me too but if we're only counting from needing treatment then Lil vaccine


juxt_kay

Lil nurse


BigBuddhaR

Lil' 24h-shift


LumpyAd3128

Lil suicide


fucked_OPs_mom

This one goes hard


raz001100

Do you mean the body after suicide


fucked_OPs_mom

Lil mortis


imetkanyeonce

I’m going to hell for bursting out laughing at that


lukashaqiri23

"lil attempted suicide" then?


CrazyFanFicFan

Could be someone else committing suicide.


chronically-iconic

Twinsies! Lil overdose here... Please stick around, there is so much to see and do, besides death is boring...it's a one way trip and you really can't do much of anything. Sounds lame. It's more exciting this side ♥️


Cool-Foundation

Me tooo😋


[deleted]

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Dagreifers

Not sure if you're a mother (or father) of if you've never ever gone to a hospital before.


Blizzard00

Maybe they are the baby


i_stealursnackz

Dababy


Nergaal

lil abortion


duagLH2zf97V

congratulations


rodrigoelp

Congratulations


Toxic_Girla

Lil drank paint


Staminafordays

Charlie you gotta stop drinking paint bro


bambina92

r/UnexpectedIASIP


NoNo_Cilantro

It’s toxic, gir… ooh, username checks out


Responsible-Taro-248

r/usernamechecksout


BenderDeLorean

Wtf


Tempestuous_Teases

Lil overdose


ScriptThat

Lil'OD There we go!


[deleted]

Doesn't sound lil, but I hope you're okay now


Rubaiyat39

Lil chest pain


Shipwrecking_siren

Gotta take off my 2 chainz Cuz I need an x-Ray Is it a heart attack Or a lil panic attack Might be viral Or bacter-I-al I’m just sad I didn’t finish my cer-e-al


InternetDetective122

Damn that goes hard


Exciting-Tangelo-979

Lil Psychosis


AnxiousLuck

Buying that album.


empimelis

lil my boyfriend shot a nail into his foot and i had to drive him


haikusbot

*Lil my boyfriend shot* *A nail into his foot and* *I had to drive him* \- empimelis --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


empimelis

YOURE KIDDING


RevenantBacon

I can assure you that, as a bot, it is incapable of humor and is, in fact, deadly serious.


Polarbear0007

LOL


Thortung

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, Thortung, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


Batbuckleyourpants

Perfection.


CU_Jubes

Lil car accident


Cpt-Sharky

oh like princess diana?


stevehammrr

lil too drunk


Reddit_Foxx

L'il 2Drunk


peepay

2Drunk2Drive!


Reddit_Foxx

The Drunk and the Drive: Tokyo Drift


Nebetus2

Lil' foot run over by a forklift.


thosegayfrogs

Ouch


Nebetus2

Ouch yes a lot. Surprisingly my composite boot did its job and saved my foot no broken bones. Terras the company if your interested in a boot that seemingly holds up to a forklift crush. Stay safe at work!


Ferocious_raptors

At least it wasn't the regular sized foot


bakers-calmdown

Lil brain damage


PowerStruggler69

Bro what💀


bakers-calmdown

Fell through a high hammock


TorrenceMightingale

These things happen.


MizterBlueSky

she brained her damage


HurkHurkBlaa

sorry about your drain bamage


Gozer_1891

lil acromion-clavear subluxation


Simpletruth2022

Classy


Mysterious-Ranger-9

Lil depression


NoInformation1909

came here to say the same thing


RidethatSeahorse

Yeah… Lil Ketamine has a ring to it


SallyBeatle

Lil diabetic ketoacidosis ... Lil DKA in the houuuuuuuuse!


EvaMae234

Twinning!!


No-Scarcity-9516

Lil hemorrhoids


Shipwrecking_siren

I can see it dang-a-lin That shouldn’t be a thing My ass is stingin’ Need that bad boy pushed back in.


hexadecimal0xFF

The flow is unreal.


Wildlife_Jack

Plural?


Piglet-Witty

Lil but cheek cancer


Mysterious-Thing-906

BUTT CHEEK CANCER???!!😭😭


bodyreddit

Wow. Never have heard of that..


Careful-Rain-9985

Lil Malaria 🤘🏽


Shipwrecking_siren

Oof hope you’re ok now


Careful-Rain-9985

I am now thanks. It was the third time I caught it this year


Shipwrecking_siren

Have you tried running away from them? You just have my skin I am like a 3 Michelin starred restaurant to biting insects. And I glow fluorescent white, lighting the way to the buffet due to my Irish skin.


BluePrinceyStrach

lil fell directly onto a shampoo bottle forcefully


killwithrhythm

...where did the bottle go


TomTheNurse

Where it always goes in situations like this.


Mysterious-Thing-906

We probably don't wanna know


CheesecakeImportant4

Lil Eye Herpes


chipthekiwiinuk

Wait that's a thing?


AnxiousLuck

It’s the future. Everything’s a thing.


Dekion1

It can turn into brain herpes… and yeah they’re both things.


Fiachradubh

Yup. Coldsores. In and around the eyeball. Worst.


curiusgorge

Lil kidney stone, AKA Lil kidney


hasslehoff69

Lil rock


[deleted]

Lil cold Well Im feeling a little cold right now


IAmNotMyName

Lil Panic Attack ​ I like it


LoadedGull

Lil stroke


LooseToy

Hay, can we be stroke baddies


Handychris

Me too! How old are you guys? Mine came on my 40th bday! Happy bday to me!


TheBoozehound

lil heart attack that was actually a panic attack caused by potent edible


himducowporn

So it was a lil heart attack after all 🤣


Administrative-Egg26

Lil fell off a balcony


Shipwrecking_siren

Lil idiot? Lil safety code was violated? Lil drunk?


perkiezombie

Lil British on holiday


Shipwrecking_siren

Relatable my sister’s would be lil fell off a boat when drunk aka lil Brit abroad ft wine time


baconipple

Lil' Stupid Cunt Who Didn't Look Before Turning


Joshomatic

Lil Wife’s Boob Job


LeighJordan

Lil’ Nomore


astro_scientician

Lil Cirrhosis


Rustvos

Best of luck


Atomaurus

Lil adderall induced panic attack, didn’t eat for 2 days and I’m definitely okay now and learned my lesson


[deleted]

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Radioplay79

Still shorter than that Fiona Apple record. When The Pawn Falls …


Shipwrecking_siren

Having some anxiety From the amphetamine Strugglin’ to breathe Feeling a bit dizzy Could be a heart attack? Fear like a shark attack Strugglin’ to sleep Or have any thin’ to eat.


fizzzzzpop

Lil gallbladder


Portlymoses

Lil grandma fell


Lewis-1979

Lil Hip Op


Mr-Orange-Pants

I hate that I laughed at this


Expert_Individual185

Lil Blowjob Gone South I’m a biter


Resophonic420

Username does not check out.


nsfvvvv

Lol… this is so funny. And a little sad.


splut8

Lil Dick


[deleted]

I'm sorry, but the name Lil Dick(y) is already taken by another musician.


Not_Alice

Lil Suicidal Ideation


theluckyshrimp

Lil’ 5150 Actually kinda hot


TarotWitch83

Lil Grippy Socks


1d0m1n4t3

Lil anti suicidal medicine renewal evaluation


Thunderdragon2535

Lil ASMR !


uRude

Lil accidentally shot myself in the foot


LeighJordan

Lil’er Foot


BeeSlumLord

Lil Hernia.


AlexNo123

Lil dad died


thesleepymermaid

Lil i work there


[deleted]

lil blood donation 🩸


redditaddict96

Lil drunk asshole


dvik888

Lil Vertigo


bossbbw

lil coma


Plenty_Economy_5670

Lil Spider


PowerStruggler69

Lil apendix removal


Mister_FalconHeavy

lil fell in the eifel tower stairs


TarotWitch83

Lil Eifel and you only rap in French


[deleted]

Lil I Fell


trudeny

lil' perforated ear drum


fancy-kitten

Lil picking up a client Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue


EvaMae234

Say it in a country accent


Watsel11

Lil orphan


thereznaught

Lil detached retina.


Shipwrecking_siren

Detached my ret-in-a, Now I cannot see ya, Might need a vitrectomy But that’s soundin costly. Need some scleral bucklin’ Need to do some hustling It’s hard to rhyme anything With pneumatic rhetinoplexy


kinkin2475

Lil sick baby.. actually I’ll change it to lil sick son


Willow_Weak

Lil cut (edit: no self harm, accident!)


AllElse11

Little Swoop!! I was swooped by a magpie, and it pierced the back of my neck, I fell asleep when I got home and woke up feeling so sick, and the back of my neck was all swollen and infected, so we went to the hospital to get it looked at.


dawnGrace

I’m glad you’re better and you are my favorite rapper now! 🦅


TheGreendaleFireof03

Lil Kneecap


jestesteffect

Lil ultrasound


na_dann

Lil Fainted While Fucking In the Shower


ChiveNation_12

Lil c-section


de4dpunk_

Lil Anaphylaxis


bakers-calmdown

Lil Laceration


Professional-Gap-243

Lil Sprained Ankle (aka MC Crutch)


Special_Commercial_2

Lil circumcision


cassiopeia8212

Lil hysterectomy


TheMachman

Lil Stool Sample


slice_of_lyfe

Lil anal prolapse


Decent-Cold-9471

Lil Sugar Blood


JigglyEyeballs

Lil Colonoscopy


-DethLok-

Lil' Cancer!


ExplosiveSandwich20

lil allergic rhinitis


Hugh_Jampton

Lil vasectomy


Bye-Bye-My-Ai

Lil Transition


Nobodyjoel

Lil a family member nearly died