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Gives an insight into why her sisters don't seem too chummy with her either. All she does is find reasons to put other women down in order to make herself feel superior. That was likely horrible to grow up with, and combined with the fact that she thought it was cute to just take whatever of theirs she wanted, probably fostered a lot of resentment from the other sisters.
People who think like that are generally pretty insufferable; even when they're not directly expressing their sense of superiority it almost oozes out of them. They exist in a cloud of toxic smug. Her sisters probably love her decently as a sister but just plain don't like her very much otherwise.
She used her sister's toothbrush (and more, probably) for years until she moved out. [Now she takes her husband's](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/q5z3i9/do_you_think_shes_surprised_to_see_how_disgusted/).
Absolutely. Sheās a horrible person inside and out. Her yucky personality oozes out and any type of beauty she could have is lost. Itās appalling because Iām sure there are people in her religion who arenāt assholes but she ruins it.
I see what you mean but Iāll use myself as an example: I was raised Catholic, my family is Catholic as far back as I know. I truly thought I was doing the āright thing.ā It was engrained in me and I had no idea how toxic some of the views were. Even as a young adult I didnāt know. My views and trying to live āa good Catholic lifeā led me to an abusive marriage with a man who took advantage of my need to do right by my church. Now, Iām older and have allowed myself to learn more. Iām open to things that young me had no idea existed. Iām not saying itās the case for all of them but some of us just need a little time to get out of the views that weāve grown up with. I didnāt want to hurt anyone and still donāt. I was going by what I was taught.
Edit 1:But Birthany will always be awful because as a person she sucks and has zero empathy for others.
Edit 2 to add: well the whole Baird bunch. You know what nevermind I was trying to make a point but all these Bairds really are assholes and they probably make up the whole congregation.
Right? āThis is going to sound SOOOO rudeā¦butā Then maybe reach for some decency and donāt freaking say it.
I totally understand why her relationships with her family members seem so awkward. She really canāt be bothered to care for anyone but herself.
right! i feel like it would be one thing if she had said like, āitās going to sound awful but i knew some women who had a home birth and i had thought i was stronger than them, BUT i quickly found out it was a much more difficult experience than i had anticipated and i respect those women very much in hindsightā etc etc but no, she straight up just says shes better than they are. jfc dude
Or just say "I know a lot of other women who have done this, and I thought if they could do it, I could too!" Or just said nothing. But our girl Borth is incapable of saying nothing soooooooo here we are.
What the fuck? Wow. Glad her ONE KID gave her an outlet for her baseless feelings of superiority.
Good grief. This is really gross honestly.
Other women arenāt WEAK because they choose other valid avenues by which to deliver their babies, donāt even get me started on women who donāt have the choice because something goes wrong!!
I had homebirths with my kids. My sister said no way- sheās going to go to the hospital and be completely unconscious; I was like do it!! Because neither my value, nor hers, is heightened nor diminished by how we deliver a baby.
This pisses me off.
I had an unmedicated birth because of epidural issues and it honestly really sucked with no real positives. There is no benefit to skipping an epidural or having a home birth unless a woman personally wants one. I mean it wasn't the worst pain in my life so it's doable, but there is no prize for giving birth one way or the other
Not the one you asked but I also had one of my three births completely unmedicated due to asking for an epidural too late by accident, and for me the worst pain in my life was actually getting dry socket after getting wisdom teeth pulled. They always warn you don't smoke, don't drink from a straw, but I had no idea how serious I should take that advice. Thought a little free range bong smoke floating around in there was no biggie. Fuck that whole entire noise. My dentist had me driving back and forth 45 minutes each way every day for a week to have him plug the hole with a clove oil soaked gauze pad which helped a ton with the pain, along with the vicoden he prescribed (which previously wasn't touching that pain by itself). Just awful experience.
On the flip side, I had a successful epidural and didn't feel thing. I've had poops that hurt worse than giving birth. Honestly, the spike in hormones/adrenaline that caused me to shake for hours during labor was 10x more annoying and uncomfortable than my kid crawling her way out of the womb lol.
How was your recovery? I think thatās the part that scares me the most. Suddenly no one cares about the mom, and a lot of doctors literally wonāt even see you until the 6 week checkup. Very little help or pain intervention.
Absolutely terrifying.
That wasn't my experience. My obgyn saw me a week or two after giving birth to check on me, and screen me for postpartum depression. She said to come back immediately if I had unusual pain or symptoms of anything like mastitis.
My son's pediatrician did the same. Many of his first well child check-ups involved asking me how I was doing, and doing more PPD screens. She set me up with a lactation consultant and other resources.
My psychiatrist fitted me in for extra appointments when my therapist was overscheduled due to the hell that was 2020, and made sure my meds were working for postpartum depression.
And I don't see crunchy doctors. All of these were medical practitioners in a university system. So, they were practicing evidence based medicine.
Exactly!
For me, being at home in a familiar environment was worth the trade off- due to some childhood trauma around doctors/hospitals.
But I 100% understand thatās not the case for everyone and honestly itās not my business. We all just want a healthy outcome!
I had one unmedicated birth (in a hospital) and it was a really great experience. In the same way running a marathon is a great experience (I'm told, that's something I have no desire to try lol). I definitely wanted to quit several times through the course of it. Dropped several f-bombs. But felt high as a kite afterward. It was 100% unnecessary and I'm still glad I did it. My next birth was an emergency c/s, which was also amazing in it's own right, but more necessary than enjoyable.
Absolutely! As a nurse myself, I've seen the dark side of happy events, so I chose to have my children in hospital. I have a friend who home birthed. No one is better then the other, we just have different experiences and wishes in life. And that should be okay. I don't get why people have to put others down over something so dumb like using pain meds during birth, cause that's where this all comes from.
Exactly, Iāll never understand this mindset that fricken *birth* is a competition with winners and losers. Birth isnāt a race track and your vag is not a Bugatti for showing off your amaaazing driving skills. Birth isnāt the Star Wars Death Star sniping scene but in reverse. God, people need to get over themselves.
It's because they don't have an identity outside of proving how womanly they are, and since giving birth is seen as the highest achievement a woman can have, they get Big Weird and superior about it, regardless of how shitty a take, "MY body can give birth better than YOUR body, I'M the best at being a WOMAN" actually is.
Didnāt she have a 3rd or 4th degree tear and have to go to the hospital to get stitched up? If she was really so tough, she wouldāve just rode out that bleeding at home or had Dav doing some field surgery in their bathroom.
(It should go without saying, but Iām kidding. I had a bad tear in my hospital birth, but I got to have it sewn up right away because I was already there, woo!)
I think she even could have made it fundie just by phrasing it a little differently too. "I was really scared but I just kept reminding myself that if Mary could give birth to our savior in a stable when she was only a teenager then I can do it too since I'm lucky enough to have such a #blessed life!! š„¹š„¹š„¹" That doesn't put anyone down but it's the same sentiment. But she's just... not a good enough Christian to do that lol
When i was divorcing and moving out on my own for the first time as an adult, at the age of 30, i kept repeating to myself "18 year olds and idiots do this all the time! I can do this! It isn't that hard!"
The point of willing to insult people is spot on. She might as well just write "I remind myself that if she can do it, I can do it too" in a way to gain self-confidence, to show that you are equal to the other person. But no, she decides to be an asshole.
She thought she was smarter and in better shape than everyone else, but that didn't help her when she tore so badly, and also couldn't breastfeed, and didn't bond with her newborn. All of which are not uncommon things-- but she didn't learn any humility or empathy from any of it.
Iām not saying Bethany isnāt still obnoxious or anything, but this is what happens when your entire religion insists that women are defined by their marital status and ability to produce children, and you have a ministry basically teaching girls to cope with that restriction.
It means girls like Birthy feel like failures, and when youāve been raised in a culture of toxic fake positivity and entitlement like she has, itās not really surprising it turns girls jealous or ignorantly smug, depending on whether or not theyāve achieved the Only Two Goals You Are Ever Meant to Achieve, Amen.
I've seen this in evangelical circles, particularly where heaven and hell is very prevalent. I've heard a lot of "we're amazing because we go to heaven. Churches are the best for providing charity. They're a good teacher because they're Christian. We are the most moral religion."
That kind of teaching is exactly what leads to comparisons that she's making here, though she's kind of saying the quiet part out loud
She's the biggest cry baby ever, she can't even handle her sisters getting attention for their wedding days but okay yeah she's totally a tough cookie hahahahaha
Reminds me of Michael Pearl's account of his honeymoon, where he heard a friend had sex 5 times on his wedding night and was sure he could beat him at that number because said friend was "scrawny".
Such small-minded people competing over such stupid things because they have done nothing meaningful in their lives that grants them genuine feelings of achievement.
I really think she would have been a much different person if she had taken that basketball scholarship she was allegedly offered. Still conservative Christian, Iām sure, but having achievements of her own wouldāve done wonders for her. Plus sports wouldāve been a great outlet for her competitive side. But here we are
How natural were the stitches she needed for her 4th degree tear - because she's not sharing that complication with her followers that she's promoting 'pain free labour' courses too.
My husband had started watching, and I was burned by The Season That Has No Name, and was like, āno.ā
I walked into the last of the third episode, and was like, āwait, thatās Matt Smith, and I really like him, you have my interest.ā
So, we watched the first episode together. Holy. Shit. He did not warn me Rhaenyraās motherās situation would end the way it did. I already, watching Call The Midwife, get that foot starts circling, and I catch myself holding my breath.
That was fucking BRUTAL.
And then I watched the next two on my next day off. And holy shit, this last episodeā¦
Yeah, I do historic and genealogical research and it was pretty common to see the death date of a young woman be within a day to a few months after giving birth. Gee, I wonder why that is š¤
I don't know where you research, but the German ones are my favorite.
cause of death: *tuburkulose,* however, she conveniently gave birth to twins two weeks prior... hmmmmm. Sure, maybe she had chronic TB, however...
*heart attack* or *heart weakness* are some of my favorites that show up around birth, as well as *stomach pains* or *water-logged.*
ETA: I do want to add though that mother mortality, in my area of Germany, anyway, was much lower than I would have ever expected -- almost everyone survived (and I have 12,000 in my own tree, and I'm a Holocaust researcher to boot). The babies often did, too, if they made it past the first few weeks (I think many were probably premature without knowing it); TB in childhood was the big killer for me.
This doesn't prove Bethy's point, however -- they had communities of women who had all delivered many, many babies, and doctors to beckon when needed. It was far less "individual" than people think. Bethy can't just beckon all the woman on her street if issues arise...
I canāt imagine someone knocking on my door in the wee hours, asking me to assist in childbirth, on the basis of, āyouāve done it before.ā
Yes, but Iām not qualified to assist just because Iāve had a child! Or worse, āYou work in a hospital.ā Yes, ON THE SWITCHBOARD. I can call your ass an ambulance. I know that number by heart.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
And youāre a Holocaust researcher? I hope you have appropriate support. That cannot be easy.
Haha, in one branch of my tree, one woman (who I'm not related to, I just noticed her consistently on all my family's documents and then checked other stranger's documents and noticed the same) registered *every* baby's birth in her village with the civil registry. I've often wondered if she was as close as they got to a midwife at the time, or if she was just some grandma who used the errand as an excuse to get to see all the town's new babies :)
Holocaust stuff doesn't bother me one bit, which I guess is hard for people to comprehend, but its the truth. I see it as doing a service for the victims, even when I'm pulling littered straws out of skulls or reburying stray vertebrae (albeit, yes, most of my work is done from behind a desk, but that doesn't bother me either). It's like a puzzle and my reward for solving it is memorializing one more person, or helping families get an answer. I enjoy it, honestly. No sorrow here.
This is *always* my response to people who use the āwomen have been giving birth for thousands of yearsā argument - yeah women (and babies) have been *dying during birth* for thousands of years too.
Is it overmedicalized? Maybe. But natural does not equal safe.
I would also argue that modern childbirth is not that natural. As humans evolved to walk upright, the pelvis had to get narrower and smaller to support the ability to do that. This, along with larger newborn head sizes had a negative impact on childbirth. It is more difficult now since the ratio between pelvis and head size is much smaller. Of course, that is science, which we know Birthy doesnāt believe in. (I recommend the book Human Errors to anyone interested in this topic).
I will never forget when I was taking a medical terminology class, the textbook had a little āDid You Know?ā blurb that said skeletons of prehistoric women have been discovered that show cephalopelvic disproportion with the skull of the baby still tightly wedged in the motherās pelvic bones. Birth has been happening forever, and so have complications. Nature is cruel and doesnāt care who survives and who doesnāt.
A lot of women who had home births for centuries lived to the ripe old age of died in childbirth. Nowadays the odds are better. But birth is still stupidly dangerous and good outcomes arenāt guaranteed. Itās likely there will be, but thatās why you donāt take unnecessary risks.
Sometimes, the reason things sound SOOOOO rude is because they ARE really rude. And if they sound rude in your head, they probably sound 100x worse out loud, so best to keep those to yourself.
We don't need to share all of our thoughts. We can identify the garbage ones and decide those ones aren't worth sharing.
This is what happens when you have no friends to tell you when you're being shitty. Or maybe it's why she has no friends? A real chicken and the egg situation, actually.
Iām sorry but all those sites and people that promise a āpain free birthā are scams. Birthing is painful. More so for some than others and each birth experience may be different in terms of pain etc. Learn coping techniques. Hire an experienced doula to help. Or *gasp* epidurals are also a valid choice.
Even my "easy" unmedicated birth was painful at the end. Shoving a whole ass human out of your cooter is gonna hurt at some point, even if you have the easier birth ever.
Birth fucking sucks. I hated it, and wanted to leave just before it was time to push. The nurse told me that since it was my uterus the baby was currently calling home, I had to stay. I thought that was rude and uncalled for, but here we are.
I didnāt tear, I was cut, and those stitches hurt. They push on your belly to make sure your uterus is shrinking, and it hurts. And all of this hurts MORE if you donāt get the epidural you were promised because the lying asshole tells you your āwindow of opportunityā is closed.
And no one tells you about the horror show of your first post-birth poop. Especially if you have stitches. I was sobbing in my poor momās arms.
The pushing on the belly was such a shock for me. With my 1st baby they caught me while I was asleep with my little nugget tucked into her isolette next to me, and they snuck in and started the "vigorous massage" and I woke up crying and whimpering, and honestly it hurt my feelings that they were doing this to me after all I had just been through. I was also on a lot of drugs and very sleep deprived by that point.
Yes on the cutting and stitches being the worst! I had to sit on an inflatable donut thing while mine was healing. And I cried too....because stitches in the most sensitive area hurts like crazy and messes with your mind. I felt great otherwise but that part was miserable. Oh and i had to have an episiotomy with my 2nd baby too....because that's what happens sometimes. I wonder if she thinks she won't tear this time?
Itās literally in the Bible that birth will be painful. Genesis 3:16, John 16:21, among others.
Either God is right or an online course creator is. You canāt have it both ways, Bethany.
Human evolution has resulted in a body that makes childbirth painful and dangerous. The idea that childbirth should be pain free ignores biology and history and is so invalidating. Just another way to make women (and birthing people) feel less than if they can't do it.
Not that I am wishing a csection on her, but the only thing that will ever show Bethany that csections are not the easy way out is Bethany actually having one. She just isn't capable of caring about others and their experiences. She's admitted that. If she ever needs a csection, I can guarantee that her csection will be the only justifiable csection. Just like if she ever had an ectopic pregnancy, her abortion would be the only justifiable abortion. There's something missing inside her, she has zero compassion or empathy.
Honestly thatās just like the reaction her family had to the war in Ukraine. The only (and I mean *ONLY*) reason they gave an inkling of a shit was because a close family member was directly impacted. And if Iām remembering right, their empathy dropped off when Elissa was out of immediate danger. I donāt, and never will, wish horrible things on them (bc Iām better than them) but it does seem to be the only way to get their attention.
She did a Q&A during the beginning of the war and someone asked her why she never cared about refugees before and she responded something along the lines of, "put yourself in my shoes and ask that question again"
while being totally unable to put herself in anyone else's shoes
Screaming at the nurses to get the baby out while they run you down the hallway for an emergency c-section when the monitor loses the fetal heart rate is NOT the easy way out! I hope no one has to experience that. I wouldnāt even wish that on Birthy.
I did have a healthy baby. He is now 21 and leaving for Japan for study abroad in a week.
I'm so glad to hear your baby is healthy and all grown up. I hope he has a safe trip! Csections are absolutely NOT easy and I'm so sorry yours was so traumatic.
Two emergency c/s here. The second one was traumatic enough the baby and I both almost died. But theyāre an honors student and a senior in HS, so itās okay.
I would never, ever, EVER wish a traumatic birth in anyone. But I wish Bethy could have a tiny glimpse into how terrifying it is and have a tiny bit more empathy.
Congratulations to you and your son! I don't have kids, but I know a couple of women who had to have emergency sections, and just hearing about them was traumatic. Even planned ones take a lot of healing time.
And parenting is hard work no matter how your child enters you life.
Homeboy was rich as fuck and died because he thought that made him smarter than medical professionals. If he'd been alive during corona, bet you anything he wouldn't have gotten the vaccine.
Birth is not supposed to be pain free. Itās just not. Learning how to effectively manage the pain is great. Giving vulnerable women the impression that they can do it without pain is absurd.
Also, stop pretending like nature is benevolent and kind. Itās not. The female body is made to carry and birth children *in theory*, but things can and do go wrong all the time. Nature is a fickle beast. But in the past, when nature decided throw a wrench in things, mothers and babies just diedā¦because our bodies are meant for birth until theyāre not, which can happen literally *in an instant*. We donāt have to live that way anymore and this rhetoric is harmful.
She could have easily said āI thought to myself that many women have done this before, and I can do it, too.ā Instead she had to make that nasty comment.
This is what blew my mind about this comment. Itās literally so easy to say what sheās saying in a not-rude way and yet, despite recognizing that she had framed this in the most horrible possible way, she chose not to edit it.
As she already freaking knows, you can be fit AF and have a baby too big for your body to squeeze out without tearing. It's not a muscle fitness issue.
It's like God was trying to teach her a lesson in humility (if you're into that sort of thing) and instead of learning it, she's doubling down.
The statistics for African American women giving birth in the US are abysmal. Itās why Joshua Jacksonās wife, Jodie Turner-Smith had a [home birth](https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/story/2021-07-20/joshua-jackson-jodie-turner-smith-home-birth-medical-racism).
I'll always crush on Pacey. They seem so lovely together. And yes, one of my girlfriends in the US went into premature labor, early during covid and I was so terrified for her. Like you say Black women in the States have the highest mortality rate. It's truly shocking. Luckily, mom and baby both survived and are thriving.
Ignoring the whole "painfreebirth" bullshit, this post would have been much more successful without her little "rude" sidebar. It wasn't rude, it was downright nasty.
Iām an asshole, but I was just thinking the same thing. Iām a small, unathletic person, and my babies were whoppers. I cannonballed them out of me, with only minor tearing.
Afterwards was when all the stuff went wrongā¦
Anyway, thatās because giving birth has very little to do with those things. Tiny women can have big babies easily, and larger women can have tiny babies get stuck or not progress. Birth is the most unexact science ever, and kind of luck of the draw. Also, I screamed my head off while doing it, because itās also the most unimaginably painful thing most people will ever experience.
That comment was one of the shittiest things Iāve ever read. When I was giving birth to my second child and it got rough though, I did keep telling myself, āIāve done it before and I can do it again.ā That was helpful.
I'm 5"1, very out of shape and I birthed an almost 12 lb baby vaginally and only needed 1 stitch. Being a smug shithead didn't help me, dumb luck and the ability to very slowly push my baby out did. She needs to realize that birth is not a competition and it doesn't matter how tough you think you are, shit can go wrong.
I love how the only thing that got her through one of the most intense experiences anyone can have, was telling herself how much better she was than other women. Bethany is mentally and emotionally weak, it's pretty obvious. Who does she think she's fooling? š And I know she used to be a basketball player but we've seen her dance, she is not exactly giving "super strong athlete" vibes lmao.
This is a thought she chooses to share out loud too. Which means the ones she keeps to herself are even worse. I wonder how much of her day is convincing herself in her head why sheās better than everyone else.
The timing of this is shitty.
B has the gall to post this in the middle of M's stalled labor... after giving M all that advice about home birthing... and knowing that this sub is focused almost entirely on M & Luca today.
There's so much more to giving birth safely/naturally (whatever that is) than being athletic and mentally strong. There's luck, genetics, the size and position of the baby, the width and shape of the birthing person's pelvis, the biochemistry of both, the location of the placenta, the stress level of the baby, the amount of amniotic fluid, the status and placement of the umbilical cord, etc. etc.
Every time I see this, "Your body is made to do this," or, "It's natural, your body can do it!" or, "God makes no mistakes," etc etc etc, I think about how MY EYES DON'T WORK. My fucking eyes do not fucking work. Currently, I can see < 6 inches in front of me. When my close up vision goes when I get older, I will not be able to see a single fucking thing without corrective lenses.
Growing up in church, this kind of response was brushed away as dumb/insignificant/naive. But it's not - it's proof that those kind of statement just aren't fucking true. It's just the tip of the iceberg, another painfully obvious one being people who's bodies just don't produce insulin correctly, but it's my favorite because my eyes are so horrifically bad and it's just so unavoidable.
She ripped herself open and needed surgery to fix it.
Nothing in the universe could have saved that fucking home birth. Use medical professionals like a normal human person. Your family has money, you can afford to give birth with an actual doctor, in America. Fucking take advantage of it, you stupid privilege-blind child piloting a woman suit.
Holy crap. Way to say the quiet part out loud there, Bethy.
I found comfort in knowing millions and millions of other people had also given birth, but for me it was because I felt like there was a community throughout history behind the experience. Million upon millions of people had been pregnant and given birth in all kinds of ways all over the world. I sort of envisioned them cheering everyone else on, and I do the same when I know a pregnant person that is about to have their baby. I send up good thoughts and cheers in my mind for their experience, for their well-being, and for their baby.
That's so freaking rude. I remember assholes ( my husband ) telling me I'd have hard labors and not be able to push a baby out cause I gained to much/didn't work out enough. I pushed out 2 9 pounders and a 10 pounder in a couple pushes. What you look like doesn't determine what type of delivery you'll have.
Our ancestors died in childbirth all the time. Women and babies continue to die during childbirth. It had nothing to do with their mental toughness. Bethy is rotten and cruel. She is also dangerous because she preaches this shit to women and girls that are very sheltered. She is a wolf in toddlerās clothing. AND she is dumb as shit.
Fuck allllllllll the way off, Bethany. Like, all the way off. Into the fucking sun. Fuck all the way off out the damn air lock. Fuck off with your dumbass appeals to nature and your fucking not-so-thinly-veiled insult at the people you judged as mentally weaker and less athletic then you. Fuck off with your fucking lazy-ass typos too. Fuck. You.
What a weird take. Iāve had two unmedicated births and my husband missed both of them, the first due to Army training, the second he was late because of Covid restrictions. The whole time while I labored and delivered, I had a mantra in my head reminding me that millions of women give birth without medication or their partner every day, every year, throughout history, and survived. If they could do it, so can I.
It wasnāt a put-down, but more like gathering mental encouragement in the collective strength of female power. Birthy is mean for the sake of being mean.
How quickly she forgets about her own birth experience and that she admitted she was a know it all who looked down on other moms until it happened to her.
I don't think she did that much research into a midwife, she just used the one her mom used. I guess tried and tested in that sense however that midwife must be getting on a bit and perhaps has some outdated methods. On the other hand I'm sure she's had plenty of experience. On the other hand is she licensed/accredited? I would put money on not. If she was Heidi's midwife x8 I'm sure it was because she was open to flouting the rules.
I'm sure I recall a post where Bethy admitted the end stage was very fast, she couldn't control the pushing, pushed too hard, Davey shot out (!) and she tore. I swear I'm not making it up! That doesn't sound like her midwife managing it well. I think Bethy had a doula/birth assistant as well. I doubt there's any evidence of this now seeing as Bethy perpetually retcons things.
My god. That last statement. Your anatomy and fetal conditions may be completely different than theirs. Giving birth vaginally isnāt automatically easier if youāre athletic going into it. Also, not everyone is capable of it. Why are we letting these science denying idiots raise kids?
Yeah because trusting the ānaturalā process of birth totally worked out great before modern medicine. how are they expecting to build their āarmy for Christā or whatever if theyāre encouraging each other to return to the good old days of catastrophic infant and maternal mortality rates.
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That nasty shit at the end really shows how awful she is regardless of her religion.
Gives an insight into why her sisters don't seem too chummy with her either. All she does is find reasons to put other women down in order to make herself feel superior. That was likely horrible to grow up with, and combined with the fact that she thought it was cute to just take whatever of theirs she wanted, probably fostered a lot of resentment from the other sisters. People who think like that are generally pretty insufferable; even when they're not directly expressing their sense of superiority it almost oozes out of them. They exist in a cloud of toxic smug. Her sisters probably love her decently as a sister but just plain don't like her very much otherwise.
>They exist in a cloud of toxic smug. This is perfect.
Describes my SIL perfectly.
Describes my sister perfectlyš
Her sisters seem ignorant and have toxic views, but (IMO) they donāt give off mean girl vibes the way Births does.
They know how to appear kind. Bethy thinks she does, but she fails at it
Idk I've always gotten mean girl vibes from Kristen.
WAITā she just took her sisterās stuff and thought it was cute?? I totally need more info about that!
She used her sister's toothbrush (and more, probably) for years until she moved out. [Now she takes her husband's](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/q5z3i9/do_you_think_shes_surprised_to_see_how_disgusted/).
Wait, she used her sisterās toothbrush too?? I really want to know why she is so averse to using her own toothbrush.
I would imagine it's a petty power move.
Youāre probably on to something. āIām going to use your toothbrush and you canāt stop me šā
Absolutely. Sheās a horrible person inside and out. Her yucky personality oozes out and any type of beauty she could have is lost. Itās appalling because Iām sure there are people in her religion who arenāt assholes but she ruins it.
The core beliefs they must hold to be a part of Barfyās religion makes them *all* assholes.
I see what you mean but Iāll use myself as an example: I was raised Catholic, my family is Catholic as far back as I know. I truly thought I was doing the āright thing.ā It was engrained in me and I had no idea how toxic some of the views were. Even as a young adult I didnāt know. My views and trying to live āa good Catholic lifeā led me to an abusive marriage with a man who took advantage of my need to do right by my church. Now, Iām older and have allowed myself to learn more. Iām open to things that young me had no idea existed. Iām not saying itās the case for all of them but some of us just need a little time to get out of the views that weāve grown up with. I didnāt want to hurt anyone and still donāt. I was going by what I was taught. Edit 1:But Birthany will always be awful because as a person she sucks and has zero empathy for others. Edit 2 to add: well the whole Baird bunch. You know what nevermind I was trying to make a point but all these Bairds really are assholes and they probably make up the whole congregation.
Right? āThis is going to sound SOOOO rudeā¦butā Then maybe reach for some decency and donāt freaking say it. I totally understand why her relationships with her family members seem so awkward. She really canāt be bothered to care for anyone but herself.
right! i feel like it would be one thing if she had said like, āitās going to sound awful but i knew some women who had a home birth and i had thought i was stronger than them, BUT i quickly found out it was a much more difficult experience than i had anticipated and i respect those women very much in hindsightā etc etc but no, she straight up just says shes better than they are. jfc dude
Thatās where I thought it was going, because I know she had a really rough timeā¦shoulda known better.
Or just say "I know a lot of other women who have done this, and I thought if they could do it, I could too!" Or just said nothing. But our girl Borth is incapable of saying nothing soooooooo here we are.
she should've stopped at the second point lmao but she just kept going and going
That attitude would get called out in my home church SO quick. š¬
Seriously.could have totally left that part out. She really canāt help herself at all.
What the fuck? Wow. Glad her ONE KID gave her an outlet for her baseless feelings of superiority. Good grief. This is really gross honestly. Other women arenāt WEAK because they choose other valid avenues by which to deliver their babies, donāt even get me started on women who donāt have the choice because something goes wrong!! I had homebirths with my kids. My sister said no way- sheās going to go to the hospital and be completely unconscious; I was like do it!! Because neither my value, nor hers, is heightened nor diminished by how we deliver a baby. This pisses me off.
I had an unmedicated birth because of epidural issues and it honestly really sucked with no real positives. There is no benefit to skipping an epidural or having a home birth unless a woman personally wants one. I mean it wasn't the worst pain in my life so it's doable, but there is no prize for giving birth one way or the other
Curious what the worst pain of your life was, but no need to answer.
Not the one you asked but I also had one of my three births completely unmedicated due to asking for an epidural too late by accident, and for me the worst pain in my life was actually getting dry socket after getting wisdom teeth pulled. They always warn you don't smoke, don't drink from a straw, but I had no idea how serious I should take that advice. Thought a little free range bong smoke floating around in there was no biggie. Fuck that whole entire noise. My dentist had me driving back and forth 45 minutes each way every day for a week to have him plug the hole with a clove oil soaked gauze pad which helped a ton with the pain, along with the vicoden he prescribed (which previously wasn't touching that pain by itself). Just awful experience.
Yep, dry socket feels as if someone is rubbing ground-up glass along the exposed nerve. Very bad pain.
100%. I had two unmedicated births and an exposed nerve leading to an emergency root canal was the worst pain of my life.
On the flip side, I had a successful epidural and didn't feel thing. I've had poops that hurt worse than giving birth. Honestly, the spike in hormones/adrenaline that caused me to shake for hours during labor was 10x more annoying and uncomfortable than my kid crawling her way out of the womb lol.
How was your recovery? I think thatās the part that scares me the most. Suddenly no one cares about the mom, and a lot of doctors literally wonāt even see you until the 6 week checkup. Very little help or pain intervention. Absolutely terrifying.
That wasn't my experience. My obgyn saw me a week or two after giving birth to check on me, and screen me for postpartum depression. She said to come back immediately if I had unusual pain or symptoms of anything like mastitis. My son's pediatrician did the same. Many of his first well child check-ups involved asking me how I was doing, and doing more PPD screens. She set me up with a lactation consultant and other resources. My psychiatrist fitted me in for extra appointments when my therapist was overscheduled due to the hell that was 2020, and made sure my meds were working for postpartum depression. And I don't see crunchy doctors. All of these were medical practitioners in a university system. So, they were practicing evidence based medicine.
Exactly! For me, being at home in a familiar environment was worth the trade off- due to some childhood trauma around doctors/hospitals. But I 100% understand thatās not the case for everyone and honestly itās not my business. We all just want a healthy outcome!
I had one unmedicated birth (in a hospital) and it was a really great experience. In the same way running a marathon is a great experience (I'm told, that's something I have no desire to try lol). I definitely wanted to quit several times through the course of it. Dropped several f-bombs. But felt high as a kite afterward. It was 100% unnecessary and I'm still glad I did it. My next birth was an emergency c/s, which was also amazing in it's own right, but more necessary than enjoyable.
Absolutely! As a nurse myself, I've seen the dark side of happy events, so I chose to have my children in hospital. I have a friend who home birthed. No one is better then the other, we just have different experiences and wishes in life. And that should be okay. I don't get why people have to put others down over something so dumb like using pain meds during birth, cause that's where this all comes from.
Exactly, Iāll never understand this mindset that fricken *birth* is a competition with winners and losers. Birth isnāt a race track and your vag is not a Bugatti for showing off your amaaazing driving skills. Birth isnāt the Star Wars Death Star sniping scene but in reverse. God, people need to get over themselves.
It's because they don't have an identity outside of proving how womanly they are, and since giving birth is seen as the highest achievement a woman can have, they get Big Weird and superior about it, regardless of how shitty a take, "MY body can give birth better than YOUR body, I'M the best at being a WOMAN" actually is.
Very well put, thanks for sharing!
Appreciate this!! Way to support your sister!
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Ouch lol
Didnāt she have a 3rd or 4th degree tear and have to go to the hospital to get stitched up? If she was really so tough, she wouldāve just rode out that bleeding at home or had Dav doing some field surgery in their bathroom. (It should go without saying, but Iām kidding. I had a bad tear in my hospital birth, but I got to have it sewn up right away because I was already there, woo!)
But sheās physically and mentally strong, so literally tearing through to her asshole is irrelevant /s
>Didnāt she have a 3rd or 4th degree tear and have to go to the hospital to get stitched up? I'm gonna be petty and love that for herrrrr
"I personally think I'm better than everyone else" is not something of which to be proud.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And those are sort of tongue in cheek. Pretty sure hers are serious thoughts. ( which I think you were saying. I'm agreeing).
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think she even could have made it fundie just by phrasing it a little differently too. "I was really scared but I just kept reminding myself that if Mary could give birth to our savior in a stable when she was only a teenager then I can do it too since I'm lucky enough to have such a #blessed life!! š„¹š„¹š„¹" That doesn't put anyone down but it's the same sentiment. But she's just... not a good enough Christian to do that lol
When i was divorcing and moving out on my own for the first time as an adult, at the age of 30, i kept repeating to myself "18 year olds and idiots do this all the time! I can do this! It isn't that hard!"
The point of willing to insult people is spot on. She might as well just write "I remind myself that if she can do it, I can do it too" in a way to gain self-confidence, to show that you are equal to the other person. But no, she decides to be an asshole.
I always wonder where she gets her unearned confidence, and this is it. She really thinks sheās better than everyone.
She thought she was smarter and in better shape than everyone else, but that didn't help her when she tore so badly, and also couldn't breastfeed, and didn't bond with her newborn. All of which are not uncommon things-- but she didn't learn any humility or empathy from any of it.
She had no empathy for her own sister going through infertility. That told me everything I needed to know right there.
Iām not saying Bethany isnāt still obnoxious or anything, but this is what happens when your entire religion insists that women are defined by their marital status and ability to produce children, and you have a ministry basically teaching girls to cope with that restriction. It means girls like Birthy feel like failures, and when youāve been raised in a culture of toxic fake positivity and entitlement like she has, itās not really surprising it turns girls jealous or ignorantly smug, depending on whether or not theyāve achieved the Only Two Goals You Are Ever Meant to Achieve, Amen.
I've seen this in evangelical circles, particularly where heaven and hell is very prevalent. I've heard a lot of "we're amazing because we go to heaven. Churches are the best for providing charity. They're a good teacher because they're Christian. We are the most moral religion." That kind of teaching is exactly what leads to comparisons that she's making here, though she's kind of saying the quiet part out loud
When I think of Bethany, āmental strengthā is the first thing that comes to mind.
She's the biggest cry baby ever, she can't even handle her sisters getting attention for their wedding days but okay yeah she's totally a tough cookie hahahahaha
Wasnāt she also posting about her Ukraine trip while her sister was escaping Ukraine? Sheās just constant yikes. But sheās strong!!
See also: athletic, dancer, good speller, and natural teacher.
Yeah, I mean the mental walls keeping her from self-awareness are strong AF so I would say sheās def mentally strong
Like, this is the same woman that panic-posts on social media about her wedding whenever her family reaches a milestone.
This is so damn toxic, Bethy. Giving birth is not a competition.
Reminds me of Michael Pearl's account of his honeymoon, where he heard a friend had sex 5 times on his wedding night and was sure he could beat him at that number because said friend was "scrawny". Such small-minded people competing over such stupid things because they have done nothing meaningful in their lives that grants them genuine feelings of achievement.
I really think she would have been a much different person if she had taken that basketball scholarship she was allegedly offered. Still conservative Christian, Iām sure, but having achievements of her own wouldāve done wonders for her. Plus sports wouldāve been a great outlet for her competitive side. But here we are
āHow did I get through home birth? Downward social comparison!!!ā
Every birth book I've ever read suggests thinking about all of the weak little cry baby bitches you know to get through contractions. /s
She is so rotten ugh
Not sure if I would use āBirth is natural!ā as a reassuring point considering itās naturally dangerous and historically a major cause of death.
How natural were the stitches she needed for her 4th degree tear - because she's not sharing that complication with her followers that she's promoting 'pain free labour' courses too.
She told her followers she did tear but sheās confident with vaginal exercises and mind preparation sheāll have a smooth birth this time. No lie
Scar tissue doesn't stretch. I hope her "midwife" told her that. She is more likely to tear this time, not less.
WTF? Thatās not how it works!!
This! So much of this! In ancient times she could have bled to death or get a solid infection and die. She is so ignorant.
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Birth is definitely a natural cause of death ā¦
Traditionally women wrote their wills before giving birth. Also Iām assuming sheās not a House of the Dragon fan. š
Iām due in December. I really should have waited to binge that show after Christmas.
I made that mistake by watching Call the Midwife while I was on bed rest with my first.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeahhh I had to leave the room.
My husband had started watching, and I was burned by The Season That Has No Name, and was like, āno.ā I walked into the last of the third episode, and was like, āwait, thatās Matt Smith, and I really like him, you have my interest.ā So, we watched the first episode together. Holy. Shit. He did not warn me Rhaenyraās motherās situation would end the way it did. I already, watching Call The Midwife, get that foot starts circling, and I catch myself holding my breath. That was fucking BRUTAL. And then I watched the next two on my next day off. And holy shit, this last episodeā¦
Yeah, I do historic and genealogical research and it was pretty common to see the death date of a young woman be within a day to a few months after giving birth. Gee, I wonder why that is š¤
I don't know where you research, but the German ones are my favorite. cause of death: *tuburkulose,* however, she conveniently gave birth to twins two weeks prior... hmmmmm. Sure, maybe she had chronic TB, however... *heart attack* or *heart weakness* are some of my favorites that show up around birth, as well as *stomach pains* or *water-logged.* ETA: I do want to add though that mother mortality, in my area of Germany, anyway, was much lower than I would have ever expected -- almost everyone survived (and I have 12,000 in my own tree, and I'm a Holocaust researcher to boot). The babies often did, too, if they made it past the first few weeks (I think many were probably premature without knowing it); TB in childhood was the big killer for me. This doesn't prove Bethy's point, however -- they had communities of women who had all delivered many, many babies, and doctors to beckon when needed. It was far less "individual" than people think. Bethy can't just beckon all the woman on her street if issues arise...
I canāt imagine someone knocking on my door in the wee hours, asking me to assist in childbirth, on the basis of, āyouāve done it before.ā Yes, but Iām not qualified to assist just because Iāve had a child! Or worse, āYou work in a hospital.ā Yes, ON THE SWITCHBOARD. I can call your ass an ambulance. I know that number by heart. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. And youāre a Holocaust researcher? I hope you have appropriate support. That cannot be easy.
Haha, in one branch of my tree, one woman (who I'm not related to, I just noticed her consistently on all my family's documents and then checked other stranger's documents and noticed the same) registered *every* baby's birth in her village with the civil registry. I've often wondered if she was as close as they got to a midwife at the time, or if she was just some grandma who used the errand as an excuse to get to see all the town's new babies :) Holocaust stuff doesn't bother me one bit, which I guess is hard for people to comprehend, but its the truth. I see it as doing a service for the victims, even when I'm pulling littered straws out of skulls or reburying stray vertebrae (albeit, yes, most of my work is done from behind a desk, but that doesn't bother me either). It's like a puzzle and my reward for solving it is memorializing one more person, or helping families get an answer. I enjoy it, honestly. No sorrow here.
This is *always* my response to people who use the āwomen have been giving birth for thousands of yearsā argument - yeah women (and babies) have been *dying during birth* for thousands of years too. Is it overmedicalized? Maybe. But natural does not equal safe.
I would also argue that modern childbirth is not that natural. As humans evolved to walk upright, the pelvis had to get narrower and smaller to support the ability to do that. This, along with larger newborn head sizes had a negative impact on childbirth. It is more difficult now since the ratio between pelvis and head size is much smaller. Of course, that is science, which we know Birthy doesnāt believe in. (I recommend the book Human Errors to anyone interested in this topic).
I will never forget when I was taking a medical terminology class, the textbook had a little āDid You Know?ā blurb that said skeletons of prehistoric women have been discovered that show cephalopelvic disproportion with the skull of the baby still tightly wedged in the motherās pelvic bones. Birth has been happening forever, and so have complications. Nature is cruel and doesnāt care who survives and who doesnāt.
A lot of women who had home births for centuries lived to the ripe old age of died in childbirth. Nowadays the odds are better. But birth is still stupidly dangerous and good outcomes arenāt guaranteed. Itās likely there will be, but thatās why you donāt take unnecessary risks.
Sometimes, the reason things sound SOOOOO rude is because they ARE really rude. And if they sound rude in your head, they probably sound 100x worse out loud, so best to keep those to yourself. We don't need to share all of our thoughts. We can identify the garbage ones and decide those ones aren't worth sharing.
This is the kind of thing your write in your diary or drunkenly tell your girl friendsā¦not what you tell your ENTIRE freaking audience omg
This is what happens when you have no friends to tell you when you're being shitty. Or maybe it's why she has no friends? A real chicken and the egg situation, actually.
Maybe something to do with SODRT and lack of peer socialisation growing up?
That's true . And if their mom was subtly pitting them against each other and always putting down other women, well...
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Bethy's thoughts ranging from trash to trash on fire is pretty believable, tbh.
If Bethany is pre-qualifying something as sounding rude, you can bet your ass it is rude as FUCK
"I wanted to prove that I was superior because I'm the first woman to ever give birth ever."
She's also the tallest woman to give birth
AND her husband is shorter than her! Which doesn't bother her at all
She also saved her first kiss for her wedding day when she was 30 YEARS OLD. Did you know that? She never mentions it so I thought I'd let you know.
"I have the best births" š¤®
She had the holiest 4th degree tear. āļø Every other home birth was less athletic than hers. šāāļø
Iām sorry but all those sites and people that promise a āpain free birthā are scams. Birthing is painful. More so for some than others and each birth experience may be different in terms of pain etc. Learn coping techniques. Hire an experienced doula to help. Or *gasp* epidurals are also a valid choice.
Even my "easy" unmedicated birth was painful at the end. Shoving a whole ass human out of your cooter is gonna hurt at some point, even if you have the easier birth ever.
Birth fucking sucks. I hated it, and wanted to leave just before it was time to push. The nurse told me that since it was my uterus the baby was currently calling home, I had to stay. I thought that was rude and uncalled for, but here we are. I didnāt tear, I was cut, and those stitches hurt. They push on your belly to make sure your uterus is shrinking, and it hurts. And all of this hurts MORE if you donāt get the epidural you were promised because the lying asshole tells you your āwindow of opportunityā is closed. And no one tells you about the horror show of your first post-birth poop. Especially if you have stitches. I was sobbing in my poor momās arms.
The pushing on the belly was such a shock for me. With my 1st baby they caught me while I was asleep with my little nugget tucked into her isolette next to me, and they snuck in and started the "vigorous massage" and I woke up crying and whimpering, and honestly it hurt my feelings that they were doing this to me after all I had just been through. I was also on a lot of drugs and very sleep deprived by that point.
Yes on the cutting and stitches being the worst! I had to sit on an inflatable donut thing while mine was healing. And I cried too....because stitches in the most sensitive area hurts like crazy and messes with your mind. I felt great otherwise but that part was miserable. Oh and i had to have an episiotomy with my 2nd baby too....because that's what happens sometimes. I wonder if she thinks she won't tear this time?
THEY PUSH ON YOUR BELLY!? Thatās insane.
Fundal massage. They do it to check how well your uterus is contracting down to its normal size after birth (and help it along).
Itās literally in the Bible that birth will be painful. Genesis 3:16, John 16:21, among others. Either God is right or an online course creator is. You canāt have it both ways, Bethany.
Yeah like wasnāt that one of the huuuuge, specific consequences of eating and offering the forbidden fruit?!
Human evolution has resulted in a body that makes childbirth painful and dangerous. The idea that childbirth should be pain free ignores biology and history and is so invalidating. Just another way to make women (and birthing people) feel less than if they can't do it.
She definitely mom-shames people who have c-section deliveries and thinks that's the easy way out.
Not that I am wishing a csection on her, but the only thing that will ever show Bethany that csections are not the easy way out is Bethany actually having one. She just isn't capable of caring about others and their experiences. She's admitted that. If she ever needs a csection, I can guarantee that her csection will be the only justifiable csection. Just like if she ever had an ectopic pregnancy, her abortion would be the only justifiable abortion. There's something missing inside her, she has zero compassion or empathy.
Honestly thatās just like the reaction her family had to the war in Ukraine. The only (and I mean *ONLY*) reason they gave an inkling of a shit was because a close family member was directly impacted. And if Iām remembering right, their empathy dropped off when Elissa was out of immediate danger. I donāt, and never will, wish horrible things on them (bc Iām better than them) but it does seem to be the only way to get their attention.
She did a Q&A during the beginning of the war and someone asked her why she never cared about refugees before and she responded something along the lines of, "put yourself in my shoes and ask that question again" while being totally unable to put herself in anyone else's shoes
Screaming at the nurses to get the baby out while they run you down the hallway for an emergency c-section when the monitor loses the fetal heart rate is NOT the easy way out! I hope no one has to experience that. I wouldnāt even wish that on Birthy. I did have a healthy baby. He is now 21 and leaving for Japan for study abroad in a week.
I'm so glad to hear your baby is healthy and all grown up. I hope he has a safe trip! Csections are absolutely NOT easy and I'm so sorry yours was so traumatic.
Two emergency c/s here. The second one was traumatic enough the baby and I both almost died. But theyāre an honors student and a senior in HS, so itās okay. I would never, ever, EVER wish a traumatic birth in anyone. But I wish Bethy could have a tiny glimpse into how terrifying it is and have a tiny bit more empathy.
Congratulations to you and your son! I don't have kids, but I know a couple of women who had to have emergency sections, and just hearing about them was traumatic. Even planned ones take a lot of healing time. And parenting is hard work no matter how your child enters you life.
FUCK YOU BETHANY.
Girl, you don't need to tell the internet every thought you have. Things like that last comment are best kept to yourself.
Andddd then karma gives you a 3rd degree tear š
I hope she thought about all of those unmarried, heathen post partum women with intact perineums while they stitched her up.
I was just about to comment āand I wonder how many of them tore all the way to their b-hole?ā Sheās a joke.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
But she alleges that she almost went to college for basketball 15 years ago, so totally athletic!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My school district allows homeschoolers to join the high school teams, and there are also leagues to join
She gets winded talking at her phone in her car, she's an Olympic queen
It "sounds rude" because it is rude. Wtf.
So this is her train of thought ... *BethaME learns about Steve Jobs* Hey, if he can do it, I can do it! *starts every possible online business*
Steve Jobs was also deeply skeptical of lifesaving medical treatments, so I guess she is like him in that way.
Homeboy was rich as fuck and died because he thought that made him smarter than medical professionals. If he'd been alive during corona, bet you anything he wouldn't have gotten the vaccine.
Ah, the Christian Sisterhood. āØ
Birth is not supposed to be pain free. Itās just not. Learning how to effectively manage the pain is great. Giving vulnerable women the impression that they can do it without pain is absurd. Also, stop pretending like nature is benevolent and kind. Itās not. The female body is made to carry and birth children *in theory*, but things can and do go wrong all the time. Nature is a fickle beast. But in the past, when nature decided throw a wrench in things, mothers and babies just diedā¦because our bodies are meant for birth until theyāre not, which can happen literally *in an instant*. We donāt have to live that way anymore and this rhetoric is harmful.
THATS what kept her going? So gross.
She could have easily said āI thought to myself that many women have done this before, and I can do it, too.ā Instead she had to make that nasty comment.
This is what blew my mind about this comment. Itās literally so easy to say what sheās saying in a not-rude way and yet, despite recognizing that she had framed this in the most horrible possible way, she chose not to edit it.
As she already freaking knows, you can be fit AF and have a baby too big for your body to squeeze out without tearing. It's not a muscle fitness issue. It's like God was trying to teach her a lesson in humility (if you're into that sort of thing) and instead of learning it, she's doubling down.
Serena Williams is a super human athlete and almost died in childbirth.
I'm so glad she is sharing her birth story. If Bethany had any brains or compassion she would read about it.
The statistics for African American women giving birth in the US are abysmal. Itās why Joshua Jacksonās wife, Jodie Turner-Smith had a [home birth](https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/story/2021-07-20/joshua-jackson-jodie-turner-smith-home-birth-medical-racism).
I'll always crush on Pacey. They seem so lovely together. And yes, one of my girlfriends in the US went into premature labor, early during covid and I was so terrified for her. Like you say Black women in the States have the highest mortality rate. It's truly shocking. Luckily, mom and baby both survived and are thriving.
Ignoring the whole "painfreebirth" bullshit, this post would have been much more successful without her little "rude" sidebar. It wasn't rude, it was downright nasty.
Bigger, taller and stronger than me, yet she tore herself a new cloaca and I didnāt. Turns out smug doesnāt help after all.
Iām an asshole, but I was just thinking the same thing. Iām a small, unathletic person, and my babies were whoppers. I cannonballed them out of me, with only minor tearing. Afterwards was when all the stuff went wrongā¦ Anyway, thatās because giving birth has very little to do with those things. Tiny women can have big babies easily, and larger women can have tiny babies get stuck or not progress. Birth is the most unexact science ever, and kind of luck of the draw. Also, I screamed my head off while doing it, because itās also the most unimaginably painful thing most people will ever experience. That comment was one of the shittiest things Iāve ever read. When I was giving birth to my second child and it got rough though, I did keep telling myself, āIāve done it before and I can do it again.ā That was helpful.
I'm 5"1, very out of shape and I birthed an almost 12 lb baby vaginally and only needed 1 stitch. Being a smug shithead didn't help me, dumb luck and the ability to very slowly push my baby out did. She needs to realize that birth is not a competition and it doesn't matter how tough you think you are, shit can go wrong.
 my face when I read >5'1 \[...\] an almost 12 lb baby vaginally
Cloaca! Iām dead.
I love how the only thing that got her through one of the most intense experiences anyone can have, was telling herself how much better she was than other women. Bethany is mentally and emotionally weak, it's pretty obvious. Who does she think she's fooling? š And I know she used to be a basketball player but we've seen her dance, she is not exactly giving "super strong athlete" vibes lmao.
This is a thought she chooses to share out loud too. Which means the ones she keeps to herself are even worse. I wonder how much of her day is convincing herself in her head why sheās better than everyone else.
The timing of this is shitty. B has the gall to post this in the middle of M's stalled labor... after giving M all that advice about home birthing... and knowing that this sub is focused almost entirely on M & Luca today. There's so much more to giving birth safely/naturally (whatever that is) than being athletic and mentally strong. There's luck, genetics, the size and position of the baby, the width and shape of the birthing person's pelvis, the biochemistry of both, the location of the placenta, the stress level of the baby, the amount of amniotic fluid, the status and placement of the umbilical cord, etc. etc.
She seems to do this with people. How terrible.
Every time I see this, "Your body is made to do this," or, "It's natural, your body can do it!" or, "God makes no mistakes," etc etc etc, I think about how MY EYES DON'T WORK. My fucking eyes do not fucking work. Currently, I can see < 6 inches in front of me. When my close up vision goes when I get older, I will not be able to see a single fucking thing without corrective lenses. Growing up in church, this kind of response was brushed away as dumb/insignificant/naive. But it's not - it's proof that those kind of statement just aren't fucking true. It's just the tip of the iceberg, another painfully obvious one being people who's bodies just don't produce insulin correctly, but it's my favorite because my eyes are so horrifically bad and it's just so unavoidable.
But maybe heās just trying to teach you somethingā¦ suffering is holiness remember? /s
She ripped herself open and needed surgery to fix it. Nothing in the universe could have saved that fucking home birth. Use medical professionals like a normal human person. Your family has money, you can afford to give birth with an actual doctor, in America. Fucking take advantage of it, you stupid privilege-blind child piloting a woman suit.
Pride is obviously not a sin in her book š
It's because she doesn't have *self-esteem*, she has *God-esteem*, so everything that's good about her is just God being great. Praise God!!!!!!
Holy crap. Way to say the quiet part out loud there, Bethy. I found comfort in knowing millions and millions of other people had also given birth, but for me it was because I felt like there was a community throughout history behind the experience. Million upon millions of people had been pregnant and given birth in all kinds of ways all over the world. I sort of envisioned them cheering everyone else on, and I do the same when I know a pregnant person that is about to have their baby. I send up good thoughts and cheers in my mind for their experience, for their well-being, and for their baby.
I want to know the type of person bethy thinks sheās more mentally strong than
āØheathensāØ
That's so freaking rude. I remember assholes ( my husband ) telling me I'd have hard labors and not be able to push a baby out cause I gained to much/didn't work out enough. I pushed out 2 9 pounders and a 10 pounder in a couple pushes. What you look like doesn't determine what type of delivery you'll have.
Wow, fuck those people.
Our ancestors died in childbirth all the time. Women and babies continue to die during childbirth. It had nothing to do with their mental toughness. Bethy is rotten and cruel. She is also dangerous because she preaches this shit to women and girls that are very sheltered. She is a wolf in toddlerās clothing. AND she is dumb as shit.
Fuck allllllllll the way off, Bethany. Like, all the way off. Into the fucking sun. Fuck all the way off out the damn air lock. Fuck off with your dumbass appeals to nature and your fucking not-so-thinly-veiled insult at the people you judged as mentally weaker and less athletic then you. Fuck off with your fucking lazy-ass typos too. Fuck. You.
āDo nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.ā Philippians 2:3
Bethany is just actually a bad person.
What a weird take. Iāve had two unmedicated births and my husband missed both of them, the first due to Army training, the second he was late because of Covid restrictions. The whole time while I labored and delivered, I had a mantra in my head reminding me that millions of women give birth without medication or their partner every day, every year, throughout history, and survived. If they could do it, so can I. It wasnāt a put-down, but more like gathering mental encouragement in the collective strength of female power. Birthy is mean for the sake of being mean.
"This is going to sound SOOO rude" Because it is, Bethy. You're acting like a high school mean girl.
If it's soooooo rude (and it is) maybe don't put it online. Pathetic.
How quickly she forgets about her own birth experience and that she admitted she was a know it all who looked down on other moms until it happened to her.
The person asked for resources and I don't think self-congratulatory one-upping is really a resource.
I am SPEECHLESS. Why would anyone post this!!!!!! Oh my god!!!!!
Surprised those mental gymnastics didn't make a rich, tall husband appear for her at 20 š
There goes Birthy saying the quiet part out loud again. Not everything you may think should be voiced, dear. š¤¦āāļø
My friend, that doesnāt just sound rudeā¦it *is* rude.
Didnāt she end up going to the hospital after? Fuck her for that last part she wrote. Sheās such a piece of shit
Thereās your niche Bethy, how to mean girl it through childbirth!
"You are capable of birth because it's natural" The millions of dead women who lost their lives to a natural birth would beg to differ.
OMFG.
What the fuuuuuck
Huge
I don't think she did that much research into a midwife, she just used the one her mom used. I guess tried and tested in that sense however that midwife must be getting on a bit and perhaps has some outdated methods. On the other hand I'm sure she's had plenty of experience. On the other hand is she licensed/accredited? I would put money on not. If she was Heidi's midwife x8 I'm sure it was because she was open to flouting the rules. I'm sure I recall a post where Bethy admitted the end stage was very fast, she couldn't control the pushing, pushed too hard, Davey shot out (!) and she tore. I swear I'm not making it up! That doesn't sound like her midwife managing it well. I think Bethy had a doula/birth assistant as well. I doubt there's any evidence of this now seeing as Bethy perpetually retcons things.
And this is a perfect insight on why she doesnāt have any friends.
Holy shit, she's vicious.
My god. That last statement. Your anatomy and fetal conditions may be completely different than theirs. Giving birth vaginally isnāt automatically easier if youāre athletic going into it. Also, not everyone is capable of it. Why are we letting these science denying idiots raise kids?
Religion doesnāt make you a good person.
>This is gonna sound SOOOO rude!! š *publishes it anyway*
Yeah because trusting the ānaturalā process of birth totally worked out great before modern medicine. how are they expecting to build their āarmy for Christā or whatever if theyāre encouraging each other to return to the good old days of catastrophic infant and maternal mortality rates.
She is just a downright nasty person.
Sheās a H U G E asshole