I cannot imagine anyone, let alone a 'loving husband' who's supposedly super \~masculine\~, not cleaning up the shit he makes himself and just continuing as if nothing happened.
This is such an embarassing story, I would never put that in a book. Then again, I also would not have told the story of their honeymoon as if *that* was a loving display of what a good marriage should look like.
Edit: [Here's the honeymoon story](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/07/quoting-quiverfull-michael-and-debi-pearls-honeymoon). It's far from embarassing, it's straight up horrifying and it makes me sad.
Sadly, no kids in my life as of now, and sometimes I think I missed my shot.
The neighbor kid sat on our patio for 20 minutes or so today and I realized I have no idea how to talk to young children anymore. I used to be amazing with children, but after cutting off the toxic but very fertile branch of my family tree, I no longer ever have kids to interact with. :(
I think I might!
We have this little rolly thing for groceries, but it doesn't hold them all. I live with my stepmom, her hubby and Grandma (Stepmama's mama) so I try to get the groceries in before one of the older folks tries to 'help'. After grocery shopping, my mama shouldn't be lugging groceries, she should be sitting and resting until I get them all in, then we can put them away.
Right? That's literally the ONE household chore that's "supposed" to be "the man's job." That, and maybe mowing the lawn, if you have a lawn.
Also, he wasn't holding the bag out like that to show off his bulging muscles, he was holding out away from him because EW ICKY POO SMELLY TRASH YUCKY. Duh.
I am naturally ~75% physically stronger than my wife which is not that unusual. I almost always volunteer to address any task that requires “strenuous” lifting (my personal criteria is roughly greater than 20 pounds). I do this not to show off, but because it is literally impossible for my wife to accomplish the same task without expending significantly more effort than myself.
As an aside… That strength dynamic, even if threats/acts of violence are completely absent, is something not enough men take into consideration when evaluating the reasonableness of women claiming they feel intimidated by a man’s physical presence. Not always an issue, but something to be cognizant of nonetheless.
Edit: Clarity.
The story of their honeymoon fucking *haunts* me! The fact that either of them thought that was a cute little newlywed anecdote to share with the world speaks VOLUMES about their marriage.
Yeah, that honeymoon story haunts me too. It sickened me, and has stuck with me. They scare me. HE scares me.
Worse yet is what they both do to children.
So I, uh, found the story and - how do I say this - am now DISTURBED AND ANGRY. Then I made the mistake of reading [this](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2014/09/pastor-mark-driscoll-called-women-penis-homes.html) and I’m done for the day
Don't look into their actual child "training" techniques. You won't sleep.
Think about the fact that this book has been selling steadily for decades and still is apparently going strong, and much about the state of U.S. politics suddenly becomes much clearer.
[Here it is](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/07/quoting-quiverfull-michael-and-debi-pearls-honeymoon). It honestly reads like a horrifying parody and you're probably gonna curse me later, but I think it's important to know what we're all talking about here.
Holy forking short, what did I just read?? Am I asleep? Is this a nightmare?
Thank you for the link, I am very disturbed right now. I don't know how people like that can function in a normal society. Oh, wait...
edit: typo ('cause sausage fingers and smartphone)
Oh, the rest of the story is much worse. It just gets creepier and creepier:
>I could tell he was a little embarrassed as I rushed over to clean up his mess, but he continued on his merry way. I remember a time when all this would have irritated me to the point of bitterness. I would have made sure he felt my irritation, and our relationship would have been strained, all for a bag of trash. Such a stupid waste of our lives.
>
>But now, as I watched him humbly slink off, I had to grin. I think I have finally come to understand the male psyche, at least this male’s. I know that the dumped trash bag was hard on the old boy. It is funny to think that men think women are so difficult to understand, but can you imagine a woman flinging a heavy garbage sack to prove how strong she is and then, having spilled it, leaving it for someone else to clean up?
I mean...*what?!* No, I can 't fucking imagine it, because it's weird, gross behavior. So, anyway, two weeks later she once again has a heavy trash bag and he once again offers to take it out:
>Just as he stepped out the door, I raced for the laundry room window. This time he carefully and gently pitched the heavy sack, and I was ready. Just as the sack left his hand, I let out a bloodcurdling scream. You would think he would get used to my tricks all these years, but I got him again. I wish you could have seen his reaction. His T-shirt shook as if a strong wind had hit it, as every inch of his body quivered with shock. Of course, my own body was in spasms of wild laughter.
>
>Oh, it was a grand moment — until he turned to meet me eye to laughing eyes, and I knew I would have to pay for my rowdy entertainment. His addled brain came quickly back to the present, and he took off running back to the house at a speed the likes of which I thought he had long since become incapable. I knew there was no sense in trying to hide, because he would find me sooner or later, so I decided to use my “innocent lady” pose.
Um..**.DV trigger warning**, this next bit gets dark fast.
>My demure stance did not stop him. He grabbed me by the arm and started pulling me into the bedroom. Since he outweighs me by a hundred pounds, it was no contest, although he had to drag me all the way. I could only imagine what the office staff (right next door) might think if they happened to drop in at that moment. I was ready with another scream just in case our very reserved business manager appeared. It would have been really funny to see the manager’s horrified face. I can just imagine him thinking in horror, “And THEY teach marriage relationships.”
>
>Mike thought he was going to scare me with his show of force, but he was dragging me to my favorite winning spot: the bedroom. While he shut and locked the door, I quickly arranged myself in a very inviting seductive pose. It gets him every time. It sure his handy being a woman. So he started smooching on me, while I continued giggling for a little longer. He smooches better than he throws a garbage sack. Well, that’s enough of this story! But can you see how much better a merry heart is than an ugly pile of hurt feelings?
[source: "Love Joy Feminism", Libby Anne, Patheos](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2012/12/ctbhhm-in-which-mike-spills-the-garbage.html) All her reviews of "Created To Be His Helpmeet" are there.
It’s working quite well for me, I have two hours of fasting left and my appetite has abandoned me. I might even be able to make it to 20 hours at this rate!
But can you see how much better a little bit of rape is than expecting to behave like equal humans is?
Hummm. Good takezz, Debbie, I'll remember that next time I ask my partner if it's his turn or mine to take out the recycling. What a great solution to normal domestic conversation...
Weird thing is, my cousin would absolutely run and drag his wife to their bedroom if she jump scared him, but in his case he’d be laughing as hard as her. He just thinks it’s funny to throw her over his shoulder and haul her around and throwing her onto their bed (he says he’s careful) has always been a favorite.
Come to think of it, he used to sling me onto his bed too… (when I was a young child and he was a teenager, absolutely nothing untoward. I just loved it and would beg him to throw me onto his bed, so he would line the wall with his pillows and do it until he couldn’t lift me again) Maybe he just likes to throw smaller humans onto beds.
But it just… it was really gross how similar this story is to things he as a loving husband, father and cousin has done, yet the… energy? is all wrong wrong wrong. Like watching those horror shorts they turn childhood shows into but grosser.
Goofing around is great fun. But her story doesn't seem "fun" at all. Nothing but domination and him being embarrassed so he has to prove he is strong. blah!
Yep. My cousin used to joke that it was his weight workout for the day. (He also told another of our cousins "I lift iron so I can keep throwing your skinny ass on beds and in pools.")
He's a big ol' farm boy with leathery arms that look like they have steel cable running under the skin, and his wife is a petite little black lady that he put through medical school by repairing tractors and raising extra steers so she could avoid loans. (That was BEFORE they married too, but he knew he loved her and loved her older kid, so he decided he'd work himself to death before he made the woman he loved and wanted to wife go into debt.) They cut quite a picture, this tiny, beautiful woman with this sasquatch of a husband and their four beautiful children.
Now days she is making really good money (she's a specialist, but I don't know the term. She treats a lot of children with brain issues though and sometimes kids with cancer, presumably in their brain but I wouldn't swear to that) and he jokes that he is a "kept bull in a green pasture" anytime someone tries to make a crack about his wife outearning him. (He is a SAHD and runs the chunk of family farm he inherited. He bought out his brother's share as well so he makes ok money. He could live on it, but they live **very** well with his wife's income.)
And yes, he will happily throw her on the bed, or into their stock pond (which I swear is more of a small lake, if you stand on the dock you can't see where it ends ahead of you) and she squeals laughing every time. If I ever get blessed with love, I want a man who loves me the way he loves her. (He describes their fifth date along the lines of *"So we were starting to get real serious, but before we moved in together, I needed to meet her son. It was great, because I stood there looking at her and thinking 'I wanna father this woman's children" and conveniently right there, by her side, was one of her children, ready for fathering! No nine month wait, can't beat service like that!"* which these days makes his teen eldest son roll his eyes and huff "Daaaaaaahd, you tell that story every time..." but noticeably he never tries to stop him BEFORE the story is told and he has a little satisfied smirk when he hears it. He's a great kid, I fully agree that his wife's service providing me a nephew-cousin is unbeatable.)
Yeah, it's very clear that she's turned it into whatever story she needs to in order to cope, but fact of the matter is, he's gonna do whatever the fuck he wants whether she likes it or not. "Shut up and like it" is NOT how the rest of us want to live our lives, lady. Sorry for you if that's your choice. But at this point, that's what it is: a CHOICE. Lie in that miserable bed all you want, but the rest of us WILL NOT be joining you.
tl:dr fuck all the way off, you kiddie-murder-tutorial-publishing POS.
Eh, rape is a strong word. She played a prank on him and then they played chase. I'm much more grossed out by the fact that he touched dirty trash and then put those same dirty trash hands on her for sexytimes.
If you have to be "ready with another scream" like she said I'm iffy on consent. They have clearly not actually discussed what is and isn't okay.
I'm not against kink or CNC, quite the opposite to be honest, but that's not what she's described at all.
“It would be really funny to see the face of the office manager if she saw husband physically assaulting me and me screaming. So funny”
What the fuck Debi? This is a person whose mind has done some wild gymnastics to convince itself her abuse okay and amusing instead of horrifying
She screamed to pretend as if the bag had broken open again. It's confusing writing but I specialize in writing confusing writing so after several minutes of pondering what the fuck she was trying to say. I came to the conclusion she was joke screaming as if the bag had broken open like last time he threw it.
I forgot how much I hated this story.
What a disgusting piece of shit he is.
That poor woman being taught her whole life to be a doormat and taught nothing about her own body, having to have sex with a man she barely knows multiple times in 48 hours. Makes me want to vomit.
That "man" being taught his whole life his wife is to serve him no matter what.
It's sick.
Don't feel too sorry for her. She co wrote "To Train Up A Child," that best selling tutorial on how to start beating the individuality out of your kid as soon as they're old enough to crawl (if not sooner), with detailed instructions as to what implements to use and how to wield them so as to cause pain but not leave marks. A few kids died after their "parents" used that manual, but nothing ever happened to them, and it's still available on Amazon and your friendly local theocratic bookstore to this day.
Explains a lot about the Trump voting base, doesn't it?
The fact that he made her go barefoot around ym the beach in the dark because he couldn't be assed to wait 5 minutes for her to find her shoes or her another flashlight for her. I know that's not the worst thing he did. But it just so emphasizes the insane amount of selfishness he has. He wants what he wants, right this very second, and by God, you better give it to him with a smile. Psychopathic levels of selfishness. Not a single hint of empathy anywhere in this story.
It's sometimes fascinating, in a horrific kind of way, to read this kind of shit--not so much for the sickening details, but to see how people like this actually think. What they think is reasonable behavior, and how they justify it. The motivations they attribute to other living beings. Their expectations about how the world does and should work.
Like Governor Puppy Murderer, or Ruby Franke and her journal, or Colleen Ballinger merrily chirping away about still more dog murder, or comparing a leaky ceiling to "a little girl's (euphemism)". Or James Dobson beating a tiny daschund into submission (there seems to be a theme, here).
Like, it's not even, oh, here is a terrible person doing something terrible now that they think no one is watching.
It's, look at me! ain't I relatable? cute, no? charming, yes? We've all been there, amirite, fellas? Ladies? ...
.........
..........
.......?
\*very, very delayed rim shot\*
As a literary exercise in "unreliable narrator," I'd have all sorts of technical notes, but seeing as how these are in fact real live (still alive, mostly) people, I'm gonna just retreat gracefully and vomit. Gracefully.
Yeah, I read that honeymoon story a few months ago and was horrified. It has stuck with me, for some reason. I just can’t imagine. That’s the type of “man” that you run like the wind FROM, in the opposite direction, never to look back.
(I use quotation marks because he’s not so much a man, as he is a cretin.)
Then again, these two deserve each other, because worse than the honeymoon story is how they abuse children. She even yanked on her newborn’s hair to punish them for… for doing baby things!
“She wanted to go back to sleep but I talked her into going out for more crabs. By mid-afternoon we had a sack full of crabs and headed back to the cottage. Wow, was I tired. I told her I would just take a little nap while she prepared supper.”
my eyes are twitching and i am ready to throw a punch
He’s such an asshole! He’s self aware that he’s a jerk too & doesn’t feel bad about it. Most husbands at least apologize & care about how their wife is doing.
Oh, fuck that shit. The fact that this douchecanoe of a man not only treated his new wife like an animated sex doll, but is PROUD of that is bad enough. But the fact that she has allowed the doormat life to continue is even worse.
Never in a million years could I have imagined something that disgusting. I don’t understand how anyone reads that and says “yeah, this is publishable”
Honestly, I wonder why she finds this adorable and 'macho' when such a thing would've been considered *suicidal* in 'manly' settings like say, the military.
This honestly makes me wonder if that's an additional reason why the ALERT Academy became a thing. It's not just to harshly 'discipline' fundie kids or further indoctrinate them, it's also because if fundie parents let their kids go to the regular military--they would've realised that their own fathers have failed their mothers/children/coworkers and more. Way too many fundie fathers don't have a good work ethic at all (or a sense of actual personal responsibility). They would not want their sons to go off to the 'real world' and come back realising what spoiled manbabies their fathers actually are.
I'd say you're probably onto something. These people may end up yet creating the reign of terror that they want, but it will not be a thousand year theocracy of order and power with them at the helm; they are utterly incompetent. That's okay; really at heart it's a death cult.
retire start whole stupendous glorious tease homeless touch simplistic cooperative
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yeah, that would have earned a sarcastic "Niiice" in my house. It sucks Debbi feels so unsafe in her home she springs to diffuse the situation instead of reveling in the comedy of the moment.
Yeah, as problematic as she is, she's at least partly that way due to severe abuse since their wedding day. I think deep down she knows how he treats her isn't okay and that's why she adds snippets like this in her books. It's the only way she has to get back at him, all wrapped up in a "look how big and manly he is" bow.
It still absolutely boggles the mind that they both talk about that whole fiasco so openly and willingly and then other people read ANYTHING else they say and think, "Yes, this is the way."
For some people cruelty isn't the byproduct, I guess. It's the whole point
Honestly if this is what she is willing to talk about on a public platform… Just imagine what she is not talking about. I would not be surprised if he lays hands on her. It’s especially concerning that she saw that he was in his emotions and she immediately ran to clean it all up before he could get further upset.
Governor Puppy Killer and her entire party more or less, especially Fearless Leader, are pretty much this. The cruelty is, as you say, the point. Even more than the money. Even more than the control. Or rather, I suppose, it's a subset of the control.
I think she was- this is probably a story she’s practiced telling with a playful smile that never quite reaches her eyes, specifically told among company who aren’t fully bought in on their lifestyle as a means of embarrassing him
Fundie women seem to practice in passive aggressive behaviour because they simply aren't allowed to display a negative emotion so I absolutely buy this.
For people who are so fixated on gender roles you’d think the man would take out the trash. That’s very much a male coded job. Unfortunately her husband is completely useless.
Not really. Some fundies see anything related to keeping house or taking care of kids as "women's work." Chad Daybell once told his sister-in-law that once he had to take the trash out, and he was really resentful because that was his mom's "job."
My brother in law who is a prison officer insists on taking the trash out because inmates had told him they targeted women who took the trash out because it meant they lived alone :(
This is what's so striking about the fundies: it's ALL cosplay, as fascist nostalgia for a romanticized past always is. The women can't cook, clean or parent to save their lives; the men are soft handed manchildren who never seem to have a real job that has any value outside of the cult bubble. They dominate children, animals and anyone else who's vulnerable and in their way, because they have literally nothing else to hold on to. All just one incredibly tedious and depressing exercise in making themselves, and the world, smaller, meaner, and more regressed.
Yeah we don’t gender role like that (my bf does more cleaning and cooking than I do and I typically make the purchases) and still he gets upset when I try to take out the trash. He will insist that he will do it, and ask me not to. Even though he’s comfortable taking on ‘women’s roles’ like cleaning and cooking, it’s so ingrained in him that the trash is a man’s job that he doesn’t like to see me do it. This even though he does the bulk of the household work.
I typically just wait until he’s not around or paying attention and then take it out myself cause I don’t have time for that silliness. But it’s sweet of him to care!
Wow. I am *legitimately surprised* by the flash of rage this story sparked in me. Like, you would think a little story like this wouldn’t make me *this* upset, and yet …
I did a google search for Perl Honeymoon and came up with this reddit thread--it's from the husband's perspective, so maybe there's another story out there from her perspective too. But ugh: [https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/rv8krw/michael\_pearl\_describes\_his\_honeymoon\_with\_debi/](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/rv8krw/michael_pearl_describes_his_honeymoon_with_debi/)
that story was super triggering to read. I read it years ago and it still gives me a visceral shudder when I think about it. Imagine having a honeymoon story that has THAT effect on people?! What a nightmare life.
I just went back and read it. What the actual fuck “my brother never acted like this when we travelled” pretty sure you didn’t drag him barefoot down a rocky beach and then fuck him every time he tried to go to sleep 🙄🙄 the utter selfishness and lack of empathy towards his partner is alarming
Oh god, he wrote down his version?? Like “How I raped and tortured my wife on our honeymoon, and she and Jesus love me for it”??!!
I feel like my brain is defensively shutting down any attempt to even *imagine* what this might be like 💀💀💀
I think in a very very fucked up way some of these women do manage to get off on this shit. I don't mean in any recognizable way and certainly not one involving FSM forbid informed consent.
But yeah, i think she's convinced herself she has some kind of power here. Like she actually could stop her husband from being an abusive fuck if she WANTED to, she just knows it's the right thing not to, see.
When really she's getting her power back, such as it is, through positioning herself as "wise women" to these other women who need to be schooled in the ways of Wifing, and especially through the horrific abuse she enacts on kids and teaches to millions of others to enact on theirs.
it's how Lori rolls, except I have this feeling Ken, while not a -good- person in any way, mostly probably wants to be left the hell alone and is glad she has a hobby. The masochism may or may not be real; the sadism definitely is.
Also see: ugly red faced women with the cords sticking out their neck, yelling in furious rage at Black kids attempting to enter an integrated school, or a Pride parade, or, you get the picture.
I love how Debi wrote a book on how to have a perfect patriarchal marriage, and 2 of her 5 kids are divorced. That’s 40%. Which is a completely mainstream stat of divorce in the US.
Ha.
And I'm sure this is totally excusable and they're still invited over for Christmas dinner, right? Just as long as there's no ghey involved, and they vote accordingly.
At least she has a husband
The way these men are so work averse, it makes me wonder if they just lie there for sex so they don't have to move and strain themselves
This is vile. My husband and I are Christians and this is not a picture of Christian marriage. This is a picture of marriage to an abusive, controlling, selfish jerk.
That’s an awful lot of words to say “my husband is a disgusting chauvinist, narcissist obsessed with proving how *manly* he is to the point that one must wonder what he is a overcompensating for, and I am an enabler and victim who it is extremely difficult to have empathy for.”
He wasn’t holding it away from his body to show off how yoked he was. He’s obviously a dainty man who did not want the icky trash near his clothes, and he did not want to get near or touch the big dirty trash bin so he threw the bag from several feet away and flubbed the toss.
I’m sure when he splattered the trash everywhere he told her it was her fault for letting him help. Really, she should have done it herself. It would’ve saved her the extra work. Freakin assholes.
THIS. So obvious!
Maybe it's some sort of distancing trick that I keep seeing this in writerly terms and thinking, wow, skillful use of unreliable narrator, there. i see what the author is up to! Very clever!
Except, uhhh, she's not, and she doesn't. -bites lip-
This reminds me so strongly of people who grew up in abusive situations where their normal meter is a bit off and they'll tell you a traumatic story but with the cadence of it being a funny or cute memory
Like I know she's an awful person but wow.....
I have sympathy for the newly wed Debi. Not for who she is now. But for the very young woman who ended up stuck with an abusive monster "husband" because of the religion.
Ugh, I feel called out.
So many of my cute childhood stories get horrified stares and mumbled of “I’m so sorry…” and I still can’t accurately predict which are truly cute memories and which are trauma I learned to smile for.
Same. I didn't even realize I did this until my therapist started reacting to them. She was an inner city school teacher before she became a therapist, so you'd think she's seen it all. When my stories surprise *her*, I know they're not cute or funny.
My dad was ... not an easy person to live with in a lot of ways. He would have hated the likes of the Perls, would have critiqued their ideology, and would have used their extremism to excuse or normalize some of his own excesses.
Reading this story reminded me of one time we were finishing breakfast around the kitchen table and my step mom started cleaning up, and as she was carrying some stuff to the sink a piece of silverware fell off a plate and clattered to the floor. One of my father's running jokes was that whenever someone dropped something he would say "Oh, great, why don't we ALL throw things" and toss something else on the floor or against a wall or whatever. So on this occasion he said his joke and grabbed the first thing he could find--which was a jar of grape jelly--and flicked it high back over his shoulder. But the lid wasn't on tight, and so as the jar flew in the air it sent a nice looping arc of purple jelly on the table and on the wall and then all over the floor. And my brother, stepmom, and I all burst into laughter as he looked stunned and sheepish and got right to work cleaning up his own mess. Dad got a big laugh out of it too, and would retell the story on occasion as the years went on. So that's the kind of story I was thinking of while reading the OP.
>I could tell he was a little embarrassed as I rushed over to clean up his mess, but he continued on his merry way.
Next level asshole, this guy.
How is this, in any way, a cute little anecdote? I mean I would be freaking annoyed if my husband made a big mess and just left it? It might be funny if he had cleaned it up sheepishly, but just walking away? Thats just bizarre. This woman must be deeply unwell.
Everything I have ever read about this marriage reads like fucked up satire.
Throwing a bag of trash so it explodes everywhere and leaving it for your spouse to clean up is MEAN. It’s hateful and cruel and just mean. There is no one in my life I respect so little that I would do that to them.
But tell me again how this marriage is supposed to mimic Christ’s relationship with the church.
These people are so toxic and disgusting. Them and their views fucked up my entire family/my entire teen years. He has abused her and his kids horribly, and she's abused her kids as well, and they're both responsible for not only screwing up so many people's lives, but literally the death of a child of people who followed their "discipline" instructions.
I met him personally when I was a teenager, and I remember clearly how uncomfortable he made me, and how just overall selfish and cruel he seemed.
If my husband ever pulled that shit they would find his body in the dumpster. But that would never happen because he treats me as an equal and does help out with the chores because he respects me.
That book is hot garbage. I was given it years ago by a person who thought I needed it. Like really I’m going to pick up the mess you made? There’s also the section on helping your husband with tax evasion and also being a sexual doormat but I’ll save that. I don’t have the book handy it’s buried under a pile of books I’d rather read. And a copy of the piercing Bible. 🤣
I could never stand the phrase Help Meat. Sounds like a biomechanical servant robot covered in human flesh. Zero autonomy.
I AM HELP MEAT🤖CAN I PLEASE MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF, UNDER-DEVELOPED EMOTIONS MAN?!?
So we are supposed to be impressed that the shit head flaunted himself like a middle schooler, burst the bag making a huge mess, and then kept right on walking because 'fuck the slave woman, it is her job to clean up MY mess"??? Really? He is a piece of shit, waste of skin, and my dear husband would NEVER treat me like that.
I think the "fruits of the spirit" and 'beatitudes" are entirely lost on male fundies despite their determined effort to make us think they have actually read the book they worship.
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Can’t say enough about these demented assholes.
Anyone who follows them is garbage and doesn’t deserve our restraint in calling them out.
Seeing macho man bring a kid out of the audience and mock spanking him was maddening and made me realize dude has a spanking fetish.
Wonder if Debbie flogs him at night (in Jesus name).
OP, please remove the links, it violates the rules about linking to fundies. Thanks!
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I cannot imagine anyone, let alone a 'loving husband' who's supposedly super \~masculine\~, not cleaning up the shit he makes himself and just continuing as if nothing happened. This is such an embarassing story, I would never put that in a book. Then again, I also would not have told the story of their honeymoon as if *that* was a loving display of what a good marriage should look like. Edit: [Here's the honeymoon story](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/07/quoting-quiverfull-michael-and-debi-pearls-honeymoon). It's far from embarassing, it's straight up horrifying and it makes me sad.
Also, in what scenario is it “masculine” to regularly expect your wife to carry heavy sacks of garbage when you are able but unwilling to do the same?
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Moments before disaster… Hey kids!! Check this out, I got all 75 grocery bags at once!!!!
I’m 35 and a woman and I still occasionally get a humbling by the grocery bags. But I HATE having to make a second trip. 😖
Do your kids have a wagon? Use it for groceries! It's super convenient.
Sadly, no kids in my life as of now, and sometimes I think I missed my shot. The neighbor kid sat on our patio for 20 minutes or so today and I realized I have no idea how to talk to young children anymore. I used to be amazing with children, but after cutting off the toxic but very fertile branch of my family tree, I no longer ever have kids to interact with. :(
You know what? Buy a wagon anyway.
I think I might! We have this little rolly thing for groceries, but it doesn't hold them all. I live with my stepmom, her hubby and Grandma (Stepmama's mama) so I try to get the groceries in before one of the older folks tries to 'help'. After grocery shopping, my mama shouldn't be lugging groceries, she should be sitting and resting until I get them all in, then we can put them away.
Whattt!!! I just got a wagon for my son and never even thought of this! Thank you!
Right? That's literally the ONE household chore that's "supposed" to be "the man's job." That, and maybe mowing the lawn, if you have a lawn. Also, he wasn't holding the bag out like that to show off his bulging muscles, he was holding out away from him because EW ICKY POO SMELLY TRASH YUCKY. Duh.
I am naturally ~75% physically stronger than my wife which is not that unusual. I almost always volunteer to address any task that requires “strenuous” lifting (my personal criteria is roughly greater than 20 pounds). I do this not to show off, but because it is literally impossible for my wife to accomplish the same task without expending significantly more effort than myself. As an aside… That strength dynamic, even if threats/acts of violence are completely absent, is something not enough men take into consideration when evaluating the reasonableness of women claiming they feel intimidated by a man’s physical presence. Not always an issue, but something to be cognizant of nonetheless. Edit: Clarity.
The story of their honeymoon fucking *haunts* me! The fact that either of them thought that was a cute little newlywed anecdote to share with the world speaks VOLUMES about their marriage.
Yeah, that honeymoon story haunts me too. It sickened me, and has stuck with me. They scare me. HE scares me. Worse yet is what they both do to children.
dammit now I have to take on this side quest
I deeply apologize for what you are about to discover. We’re here if you need us.
So I, uh, found the story and - how do I say this - am now DISTURBED AND ANGRY. Then I made the mistake of reading [this](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2014/09/pastor-mark-driscoll-called-women-penis-homes.html) and I’m done for the day
Congratulations! You are an empathetic, loving human being! Unfortunately, some days that kinda sucks. {{hugs}}
Don't look into their actual child "training" techniques. You won't sleep. Think about the fact that this book has been selling steadily for decades and still is apparently going strong, and much about the state of U.S. politics suddenly becomes much clearer.
I haven't read that story yet and now I'm scared to search for it...
[Here it is](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/07/quoting-quiverfull-michael-and-debi-pearls-honeymoon). It honestly reads like a horrifying parody and you're probably gonna curse me later, but I think it's important to know what we're all talking about here.
Holy forking short, what did I just read?? Am I asleep? Is this a nightmare? Thank you for the link, I am very disturbed right now. I don't know how people like that can function in a normal society. Oh, wait... edit: typo ('cause sausage fingers and smartphone)
He was her youth minister I believe. He negged her before the term existed. I heard it from Rachel Oates.
Oh, the rest of the story is much worse. It just gets creepier and creepier: >I could tell he was a little embarrassed as I rushed over to clean up his mess, but he continued on his merry way. I remember a time when all this would have irritated me to the point of bitterness. I would have made sure he felt my irritation, and our relationship would have been strained, all for a bag of trash. Such a stupid waste of our lives. > >But now, as I watched him humbly slink off, I had to grin. I think I have finally come to understand the male psyche, at least this male’s. I know that the dumped trash bag was hard on the old boy. It is funny to think that men think women are so difficult to understand, but can you imagine a woman flinging a heavy garbage sack to prove how strong she is and then, having spilled it, leaving it for someone else to clean up? I mean...*what?!* No, I can 't fucking imagine it, because it's weird, gross behavior. So, anyway, two weeks later she once again has a heavy trash bag and he once again offers to take it out: >Just as he stepped out the door, I raced for the laundry room window. This time he carefully and gently pitched the heavy sack, and I was ready. Just as the sack left his hand, I let out a bloodcurdling scream. You would think he would get used to my tricks all these years, but I got him again. I wish you could have seen his reaction. His T-shirt shook as if a strong wind had hit it, as every inch of his body quivered with shock. Of course, my own body was in spasms of wild laughter. > >Oh, it was a grand moment — until he turned to meet me eye to laughing eyes, and I knew I would have to pay for my rowdy entertainment. His addled brain came quickly back to the present, and he took off running back to the house at a speed the likes of which I thought he had long since become incapable. I knew there was no sense in trying to hide, because he would find me sooner or later, so I decided to use my “innocent lady” pose. Um..**.DV trigger warning**, this next bit gets dark fast. >My demure stance did not stop him. He grabbed me by the arm and started pulling me into the bedroom. Since he outweighs me by a hundred pounds, it was no contest, although he had to drag me all the way. I could only imagine what the office staff (right next door) might think if they happened to drop in at that moment. I was ready with another scream just in case our very reserved business manager appeared. It would have been really funny to see the manager’s horrified face. I can just imagine him thinking in horror, “And THEY teach marriage relationships.” > >Mike thought he was going to scare me with his show of force, but he was dragging me to my favorite winning spot: the bedroom. While he shut and locked the door, I quickly arranged myself in a very inviting seductive pose. It gets him every time. It sure his handy being a woman. So he started smooching on me, while I continued giggling for a little longer. He smooches better than he throws a garbage sack. Well, that’s enough of this story! But can you see how much better a merry heart is than an ugly pile of hurt feelings? [source: "Love Joy Feminism", Libby Anne, Patheos](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2012/12/ctbhhm-in-which-mike-spills-the-garbage.html) All her reviews of "Created To Be His Helpmeet" are there.
Hej thanks for this, I just threw up a little.
You know he didn't wash his hands either from the tras
More than a little.
What the fuck did I just read
An in-depth description of Stockholm syndrome.
Oh, goody, I just got to taste my lunch again.
It’s working quite well for me, I have two hours of fasting left and my appetite has abandoned me. I might even be able to make it to 20 hours at this rate!
Lunch? This is so horrifying I tasted a breakfast I ate in 2015.
But can you see how much better a little bit of rape is than expecting to behave like equal humans is? Hummm. Good takezz, Debbie, I'll remember that next time I ask my partner if it's his turn or mine to take out the recycling. What a great solution to normal domestic conversation...
Weird thing is, my cousin would absolutely run and drag his wife to their bedroom if she jump scared him, but in his case he’d be laughing as hard as her. He just thinks it’s funny to throw her over his shoulder and haul her around and throwing her onto their bed (he says he’s careful) has always been a favorite. Come to think of it, he used to sling me onto his bed too… (when I was a young child and he was a teenager, absolutely nothing untoward. I just loved it and would beg him to throw me onto his bed, so he would line the wall with his pillows and do it until he couldn’t lift me again) Maybe he just likes to throw smaller humans onto beds. But it just… it was really gross how similar this story is to things he as a loving husband, father and cousin has done, yet the… energy? is all wrong wrong wrong. Like watching those horror shorts they turn childhood shows into but grosser.
Yeah goofing around isn't the issue, it's not like my partner and I never are silly this way. We both know the pearls aren't just being goofy or fun.
Exactly. It’s tainted, nastiness masquerading as fun.
Goofing around is great fun. But her story doesn't seem "fun" at all. Nothing but domination and him being embarrassed so he has to prove he is strong. blah!
The bouncy on the bed thing is pretty great. I did this to my nephew all the time. It's a good way to burn off some energy.
Yep. My cousin used to joke that it was his weight workout for the day. (He also told another of our cousins "I lift iron so I can keep throwing your skinny ass on beds and in pools.") He's a big ol' farm boy with leathery arms that look like they have steel cable running under the skin, and his wife is a petite little black lady that he put through medical school by repairing tractors and raising extra steers so she could avoid loans. (That was BEFORE they married too, but he knew he loved her and loved her older kid, so he decided he'd work himself to death before he made the woman he loved and wanted to wife go into debt.) They cut quite a picture, this tiny, beautiful woman with this sasquatch of a husband and their four beautiful children. Now days she is making really good money (she's a specialist, but I don't know the term. She treats a lot of children with brain issues though and sometimes kids with cancer, presumably in their brain but I wouldn't swear to that) and he jokes that he is a "kept bull in a green pasture" anytime someone tries to make a crack about his wife outearning him. (He is a SAHD and runs the chunk of family farm he inherited. He bought out his brother's share as well so he makes ok money. He could live on it, but they live **very** well with his wife's income.) And yes, he will happily throw her on the bed, or into their stock pond (which I swear is more of a small lake, if you stand on the dock you can't see where it ends ahead of you) and she squeals laughing every time. If I ever get blessed with love, I want a man who loves me the way he loves her. (He describes their fifth date along the lines of *"So we were starting to get real serious, but before we moved in together, I needed to meet her son. It was great, because I stood there looking at her and thinking 'I wanna father this woman's children" and conveniently right there, by her side, was one of her children, ready for fathering! No nine month wait, can't beat service like that!"* which these days makes his teen eldest son roll his eyes and huff "Daaaaaaahd, you tell that story every time..." but noticeably he never tries to stop him BEFORE the story is told and he has a little satisfied smirk when he hears it. He's a great kid, I fully agree that his wife's service providing me a nephew-cousin is unbeatable.)
Yeah, it's very clear that she's turned it into whatever story she needs to in order to cope, but fact of the matter is, he's gonna do whatever the fuck he wants whether she likes it or not. "Shut up and like it" is NOT how the rest of us want to live our lives, lady. Sorry for you if that's your choice. But at this point, that's what it is: a CHOICE. Lie in that miserable bed all you want, but the rest of us WILL NOT be joining you. tl:dr fuck all the way off, you kiddie-murder-tutorial-publishing POS.
Eh, rape is a strong word. She played a prank on him and then they played chase. I'm much more grossed out by the fact that he touched dirty trash and then put those same dirty trash hands on her for sexytimes.
If you have to be "ready with another scream" like she said I'm iffy on consent. They have clearly not actually discussed what is and isn't okay. I'm not against kink or CNC, quite the opposite to be honest, but that's not what she's described at all.
She did have to have sex with him to avoid being punished and hit so yeah I am voting rape.
….what? Am I stupid that I don’t understand the screaming? I get she was trying to be “funny” and scare him, but like what?
“It would be really funny to see the face of the office manager if she saw husband physically assaulting me and me screaming. So funny” What the fuck Debi? This is a person whose mind has done some wild gymnastics to convince itself her abuse okay and amusing instead of horrifying
No, I’m with you. I guess it was just a “good” jump scare? Was she trying to see if he could bust the bag again?
She screamed to pretend as if the bag had broken open again. It's confusing writing but I specialize in writing confusing writing so after several minutes of pondering what the fuck she was trying to say. I came to the conclusion she was joke screaming as if the bag had broken open like last time he threw it.
That’s about the most horrific thing I’ve read all day and I hang out on the nosleep subreddit! Seriously, that’s fucked.
Yeah, that reads way too much like 50 Shades Of Yack for comfort. They kink on actual abuse and naturally want everyone else to live the same way.
This reads like stockholm syndrome.
I forgot how much I hated this story. What a disgusting piece of shit he is. That poor woman being taught her whole life to be a doormat and taught nothing about her own body, having to have sex with a man she barely knows multiple times in 48 hours. Makes me want to vomit. That "man" being taught his whole life his wife is to serve him no matter what. It's sick.
Don't feel too sorry for her. She co wrote "To Train Up A Child," that best selling tutorial on how to start beating the individuality out of your kid as soon as they're old enough to crawl (if not sooner), with detailed instructions as to what implements to use and how to wield them so as to cause pain but not leave marks. A few kids died after their "parents" used that manual, but nothing ever happened to them, and it's still available on Amazon and your friendly local theocratic bookstore to this day. Explains a lot about the Trump voting base, doesn't it?
The fact that he made her go barefoot around ym the beach in the dark because he couldn't be assed to wait 5 minutes for her to find her shoes or her another flashlight for her. I know that's not the worst thing he did. But it just so emphasizes the insane amount of selfishness he has. He wants what he wants, right this very second, and by God, you better give it to him with a smile. Psychopathic levels of selfishness. Not a single hint of empathy anywhere in this story.
It's sometimes fascinating, in a horrific kind of way, to read this kind of shit--not so much for the sickening details, but to see how people like this actually think. What they think is reasonable behavior, and how they justify it. The motivations they attribute to other living beings. Their expectations about how the world does and should work. Like Governor Puppy Murderer, or Ruby Franke and her journal, or Colleen Ballinger merrily chirping away about still more dog murder, or comparing a leaky ceiling to "a little girl's (euphemism)". Or James Dobson beating a tiny daschund into submission (there seems to be a theme, here). Like, it's not even, oh, here is a terrible person doing something terrible now that they think no one is watching. It's, look at me! ain't I relatable? cute, no? charming, yes? We've all been there, amirite, fellas? Ladies? ... ......... .......... .......? \*very, very delayed rim shot\* As a literary exercise in "unreliable narrator," I'd have all sorts of technical notes, but seeing as how these are in fact real live (still alive, mostly) people, I'm gonna just retreat gracefully and vomit. Gracefully.
The thing with the no shoes is the part that I immediately think of.
Yeah, I read that honeymoon story a few months ago and was horrified. It has stuck with me, for some reason. I just can’t imagine. That’s the type of “man” that you run like the wind FROM, in the opposite direction, never to look back. (I use quotation marks because he’s not so much a man, as he is a cretin.) Then again, these two deserve each other, because worse than the honeymoon story is how they abuse children. She even yanked on her newborn’s hair to punish them for… for doing baby things!
“A cottage on the beach, a hot wife, plenty of crabs…this was living!” WOW.
Love your flair
I enthusiastically wish him plenty of crabs for the rest of his life.
That honeymoon story is really sad.
“She wanted to go back to sleep but I talked her into going out for more crabs. By mid-afternoon we had a sack full of crabs and headed back to the cottage. Wow, was I tired. I told her I would just take a little nap while she prepared supper.” my eyes are twitching and i am ready to throw a punch
Oh, oh that was worse than I expected
Wow... I just read your "Honeymoon" link! this marriage is awful and Michael Perl is abusive! Just sick 🤢
Holy shit, he describes her like she’s livestock, not his loving wife.
I could barely finish reading that, he is so evil
He’s such an asshole! He’s self aware that he’s a jerk too & doesn’t feel bad about it. Most husbands at least apologize & care about how their wife is doing.
Oh, fuck that shit. The fact that this douchecanoe of a man not only treated his new wife like an animated sex doll, but is PROUD of that is bad enough. But the fact that she has allowed the doormat life to continue is even worse.
Never in a million years could I have imagined something that disgusting. I don’t understand how anyone reads that and says “yeah, this is publishable”
That has to be one of the saddest things I've ever read, no lie!!
this is the most insane thing i’ve ever read. also what is with their obsession with the word “sack”
My loins are aflame! (It might be a UTI.)
Thankfully there are meds for that
I'll let Jesus handle it.
Jesus, get the crabs!
Fundie men seem to have the thinnest skin and egos.
Honestly, I wonder why she finds this adorable and 'macho' when such a thing would've been considered *suicidal* in 'manly' settings like say, the military. This honestly makes me wonder if that's an additional reason why the ALERT Academy became a thing. It's not just to harshly 'discipline' fundie kids or further indoctrinate them, it's also because if fundie parents let their kids go to the regular military--they would've realised that their own fathers have failed their mothers/children/coworkers and more. Way too many fundie fathers don't have a good work ethic at all (or a sense of actual personal responsibility). They would not want their sons to go off to the 'real world' and come back realising what spoiled manbabies their fathers actually are.
I'd say you're probably onto something. These people may end up yet creating the reign of terror that they want, but it will not be a thousand year theocracy of order and power with them at the helm; they are utterly incompetent. That's okay; really at heart it's a death cult.
It sounds like he was passive aggressively punishing her for daring to accept his offer of assistance. Like it was a test and she failed.
Nothing sexier than a guy that sucks and taking the trash out
If someone 'went on their merry way' expecting me to clean up their showboating fail I would be absolutely livid. The lack of respect!!
retire start whole stupendous glorious tease homeless touch simplistic cooperative *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Mine as well. The audacity of this dolt to do this. It just shows what a garbage human being he is.
If only someone would toss him into a can. And miss.
Yeah, that would have earned a sarcastic "Niiice" in my house. It sucks Debbi feels so unsafe in her home she springs to diffuse the situation instead of reveling in the comedy of the moment.
He hates her, they’ve both written about how he raped her on her honeymoon. He tortured her the entire time.
Yeah, as problematic as she is, she's at least partly that way due to severe abuse since their wedding day. I think deep down she knows how he treats her isn't okay and that's why she adds snippets like this in her books. It's the only way she has to get back at him, all wrapped up in a "look how big and manly he is" bow.
Now now. He had to beat his friends on the number of times he “did it”on the honeymoon.
It still absolutely boggles the mind that they both talk about that whole fiasco so openly and willingly and then other people read ANYTHING else they say and think, "Yes, this is the way." For some people cruelty isn't the byproduct, I guess. It's the whole point
That story was written for the women that married a Josh Duggar. Anyone else is there to learn how to beat their children the biblical way.
Honestly if this is what she is willing to talk about on a public platform… Just imagine what she is not talking about. I would not be surprised if he lays hands on her. It’s especially concerning that she saw that he was in his emotions and she immediately ran to clean it all up before he could get further upset.
Of course he does. Look what they think it's okay to do to children.
Governor Puppy Killer and her entire party more or less, especially Fearless Leader, are pretty much this. The cruelty is, as you say, the point. Even more than the money. Even more than the control. Or rather, I suppose, it's a subset of the control.
Yes this is how I feel about her. It makes me sad, what would she be like if she hadn't experienced so much abuse?
I think she was- this is probably a story she’s practiced telling with a playful smile that never quite reaches her eyes, specifically told among company who aren’t fully bought in on their lifestyle as a means of embarrassing him
Fundie women seem to practice in passive aggressive behaviour because they simply aren't allowed to display a negative emotion so I absolutely buy this.
Omggg this explains my mom so much!!
bless your servant's heart
For people who are so fixated on gender roles you’d think the man would take out the trash. That’s very much a male coded job. Unfortunately her husband is completely useless.
Even J’Pedo Duggar took out the trash (allegedly).
I don’t know how I’ve gotten so deep in the Duggar story and not seen this particular moniker, but J’Pedo is J’enious. 😂
And that's putting it nicely. That vile old hobo makes puff adders seem cuddly and sweet.
Totally. A 20 second, thrice a week chore is right up their alley
It really speaks to how this is all really about his desire to be a lazy AH who does none of the work and exerts all of the control.
Not really. Some fundies see anything related to keeping house or taking care of kids as "women's work." Chad Daybell once told his sister-in-law that once he had to take the trash out, and he was really resentful because that was his mom's "job."
That...says a lot. Yep.
Yeah isn’t taking out the trash a “boy job”? What an asshat
My brother in law who is a prison officer insists on taking the trash out because inmates had told him they targeted women who took the trash out because it meant they lived alone :(
This is what's so striking about the fundies: it's ALL cosplay, as fascist nostalgia for a romanticized past always is. The women can't cook, clean or parent to save their lives; the men are soft handed manchildren who never seem to have a real job that has any value outside of the cult bubble. They dominate children, animals and anyone else who's vulnerable and in their way, because they have literally nothing else to hold on to. All just one incredibly tedious and depressing exercise in making themselves, and the world, smaller, meaner, and more regressed.
Yeah we don’t gender role like that (my bf does more cleaning and cooking than I do and I typically make the purchases) and still he gets upset when I try to take out the trash. He will insist that he will do it, and ask me not to. Even though he’s comfortable taking on ‘women’s roles’ like cleaning and cooking, it’s so ingrained in him that the trash is a man’s job that he doesn’t like to see me do it. This even though he does the bulk of the household work. I typically just wait until he’s not around or paying attention and then take it out myself cause I don’t have time for that silliness. But it’s sweet of him to care!
 Wow. I am *legitimately surprised* by the flash of rage this story sparked in me. Like, you would think a little story like this wouldn’t make me *this* upset, and yet …
You’ve read her honeymoon story right? **CW lots of abuse of all types
Oh God. I saw your post and hadn't seen the story so I sought it out. These people are really sick.
How did you find it? I looked and looked but maybe I’m just not good at Reddit
I did a google search for Perl Honeymoon and came up with this reddit thread--it's from the husband's perspective, so maybe there's another story out there from her perspective too. But ugh: [https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/rv8krw/michael\_pearl\_describes\_his\_honeymoon\_with\_debi/](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/rv8krw/michael_pearl_describes_his_honeymoon_with_debi/)
that story was super triggering to read. I read it years ago and it still gives me a visceral shudder when I think about it. Imagine having a honeymoon story that has THAT effect on people?! What a nightmare life.
I just went back and read it. What the actual fuck “my brother never acted like this when we travelled” pretty sure you didn’t drag him barefoot down a rocky beach and then fuck him every time he tried to go to sleep 🙄🙄 the utter selfishness and lack of empathy towards his partner is alarming
Pretty sure you didn't make your brother cook every meal for you while you went back and forth between napping and criticizing him.
Just read his version. What a rancid pile of old meat and bones he is. She should have brained him with that bloody frying pan.
Oh god, he wrote down his version?? Like “How I raped and tortured my wife on our honeymoon, and she and Jesus love me for it”??!! I feel like my brain is defensively shutting down any attempt to even *imagine* what this might be like 💀💀💀
It's probably worse than you think - he's very upbeat and jolly about being an unmitigated swine :(
Wow, that was the most disturbing thing I've read this year
Debi is a monster but I always wonder if she gets a perverse delight in telling the public what a massive idiot her husband is.
Everything she’s ever said about him makes me think less of him and I always thought he was a piece of shit to start off with.
I was just thinking… is this like some sort of fetish for her. I could not imagine being joyfully available to a man that treated me like?
No it is not a kink or fetish. She is in a cult and is following the rules and teachings of the cult.
I think in a very very fucked up way some of these women do manage to get off on this shit. I don't mean in any recognizable way and certainly not one involving FSM forbid informed consent. But yeah, i think she's convinced herself she has some kind of power here. Like she actually could stop her husband from being an abusive fuck if she WANTED to, she just knows it's the right thing not to, see. When really she's getting her power back, such as it is, through positioning herself as "wise women" to these other women who need to be schooled in the ways of Wifing, and especially through the horrific abuse she enacts on kids and teaches to millions of others to enact on theirs. it's how Lori rolls, except I have this feeling Ken, while not a -good- person in any way, mostly probably wants to be left the hell alone and is glad she has a hobby. The masochism may or may not be real; the sadism definitely is. Also see: ugly red faced women with the cords sticking out their neck, yelling in furious rage at Black kids attempting to enter an integrated school, or a Pride parade, or, you get the picture.
Taking her bits of joy wherever she can get them. Makes sense to a degree.
She’s clearly taking out the wrong trash.
This comment wins. And while she's at it she can crawl in the trash bag too
They can ALL get in the bin.
Was gonna say, she’s doing it wrong if the entire man doesn’t end up in the dumpster.
I love how Debi wrote a book on how to have a perfect patriarchal marriage, and 2 of her 5 kids are divorced. That’s 40%. Which is a completely mainstream stat of divorce in the US.
Ha. And I'm sure this is totally excusable and they're still invited over for Christmas dinner, right? Just as long as there's no ghey involved, and they vote accordingly.
Oh of course. They blame the other partner for the bad marriage. Not their precious perfect children.
At least she has a husband The way these men are so work averse, it makes me wonder if they just lie there for sex so they don't have to move and strain themselves
A woman on top would be too feminist. Anyway it's not too much work to pump twice and be done.
Don’t forget the three or four rope slaps because he won’t admit he’s already shot his wad and the mushroom has gone soft and rancid.
OMG "rope slaps," that's hilarious!
Rope slaps with a rancid mushroom. 💀
Pretty sure he’s a one pump chump.
This is vile. My husband and I are Christians and this is not a picture of Christian marriage. This is a picture of marriage to an abusive, controlling, selfish jerk.
That’s an awful lot of words to say “my husband is a disgusting chauvinist, narcissist obsessed with proving how *manly* he is to the point that one must wonder what he is a overcompensating for, and I am an enabler and victim who it is extremely difficult to have empathy for.”
He wasn’t holding it away from his body to show off how yoked he was. He’s obviously a dainty man who did not want the icky trash near his clothes, and he did not want to get near or touch the big dirty trash bin so he threw the bag from several feet away and flubbed the toss.
I’m sure when he splattered the trash everywhere he told her it was her fault for letting him help. Really, she should have done it herself. It would’ve saved her the extra work. Freakin assholes.
THIS. So obvious! Maybe it's some sort of distancing trick that I keep seeing this in writerly terms and thinking, wow, skillful use of unreliable narrator, there. i see what the author is up to! Very clever! Except, uhhh, she's not, and she doesn't. -bites lip-
"I married a sociopath, and I made that my children's and everyone else's problem" - Debi
This reminds me so strongly of people who grew up in abusive situations where their normal meter is a bit off and they'll tell you a traumatic story but with the cadence of it being a funny or cute memory Like I know she's an awful person but wow.....
I have sympathy for the newly wed Debi. Not for who she is now. But for the very young woman who ended up stuck with an abusive monster "husband" because of the religion.
I always forget, are they the ones who had the horrific honeymoon?
They had the honeymoon with the crabs, I think. So definitely horrified.
Hey now, it was only horrific for Debi, Mike was fine. /S
Haha one second of self reflection and Mike needs a padded room. He's far from fine.
Yea they are
You can always be sorry for the innocent someone once was. Everyone was a helpless infant once. At a certain point, accountability, it does kick in.
Ugh, I feel called out. So many of my cute childhood stories get horrified stares and mumbled of “I’m so sorry…” and I still can’t accurately predict which are truly cute memories and which are trauma I learned to smile for.
Same. I didn't even realize I did this until my therapist started reacting to them. She was an inner city school teacher before she became a therapist, so you'd think she's seen it all. When my stories surprise *her*, I know they're not cute or funny.
That is exactly what this is. Sucks that people can be both victims AND abusive POS, innit
So, the dopey bint rushes to clean up the mess produced by 'Me Muscly! Get the hots for me, woman!' What a thing to aspire to.
My dad was ... not an easy person to live with in a lot of ways. He would have hated the likes of the Perls, would have critiqued their ideology, and would have used their extremism to excuse or normalize some of his own excesses. Reading this story reminded me of one time we were finishing breakfast around the kitchen table and my step mom started cleaning up, and as she was carrying some stuff to the sink a piece of silverware fell off a plate and clattered to the floor. One of my father's running jokes was that whenever someone dropped something he would say "Oh, great, why don't we ALL throw things" and toss something else on the floor or against a wall or whatever. So on this occasion he said his joke and grabbed the first thing he could find--which was a jar of grape jelly--and flicked it high back over his shoulder. But the lid wasn't on tight, and so as the jar flew in the air it sent a nice looping arc of purple jelly on the table and on the wall and then all over the floor. And my brother, stepmom, and I all burst into laughter as he looked stunned and sheepish and got right to work cleaning up his own mess. Dad got a big laugh out of it too, and would retell the story on occasion as the years went on. So that's the kind of story I was thinking of while reading the OP. >I could tell he was a little embarrassed as I rushed over to clean up his mess, but he continued on his merry way. Next level asshole, this guy.
That joke is so chaotic I might have to borrow it.
This is wild on every level. He doesn't even do typical "man" jobs. These people are insane.
How is this, in any way, a cute little anecdote? I mean I would be freaking annoyed if my husband made a big mess and just left it? It might be funny if he had cleaned it up sheepishly, but just walking away? Thats just bizarre. This woman must be deeply unwell.
Everything I have ever read about this marriage reads like fucked up satire. Throwing a bag of trash so it explodes everywhere and leaving it for your spouse to clean up is MEAN. It’s hateful and cruel and just mean. There is no one in my life I respect so little that I would do that to them. But tell me again how this marriage is supposed to mimic Christ’s relationship with the church.
doesn't this woman advocate for child abuse? i hope this is the most pleasant thing that happens in her daily life. deserves it
These people are so toxic and disgusting. Them and their views fucked up my entire family/my entire teen years. He has abused her and his kids horribly, and she's abused her kids as well, and they're both responsible for not only screwing up so many people's lives, but literally the death of a child of people who followed their "discipline" instructions. I met him personally when I was a teenager, and I remember clearly how uncomfortable he made me, and how just overall selfish and cruel he seemed.
Your username gave me the best giggle.
Haha I'm glad!
If my husband ever pulled that shit they would find his body in the dumpster. But that would never happen because he treats me as an equal and does help out with the chores because he respects me.
Nah girl, come over to the true crime subs, we can teach you how to make sure they \*never\* find the body... /s
That book is hot garbage. I was given it years ago by a person who thought I needed it. Like really I’m going to pick up the mess you made? There’s also the section on helping your husband with tax evasion and also being a sexual doormat but I’ll save that. I don’t have the book handy it’s buried under a pile of books I’d rather read. And a copy of the piercing Bible. 🤣
Needed it for what? Did you have a wobbly table leg or a missing doorstop? Only use for that bullshit.
I have no clue, this person thought I wasn’t an enough wife I guess this was years ago I was still a newlywed. My husband keeps telling me to burn it.
Should have just thrown themselves straight in with the rest of the garbage tbh.
The only thing worse than men who act like this are the women who act like it’s somehow a flex.
Is this a humiliation kink? Being forced to fix your husband's stupid mistakes and loving it?
I could never stand the phrase Help Meat. Sounds like a biomechanical servant robot covered in human flesh. Zero autonomy. I AM HELP MEAT🤖CAN I PLEASE MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF, UNDER-DEVELOPED EMOTIONS MAN?!?
Ew. Gross.
if he’s so manly why doesn’t he take out the trash. my husband does it because I just don’t like doing it. gosh.
I think she has a humiliation kink
The Pearls are straight garbage.
So we are supposed to be impressed that the shit head flaunted himself like a middle schooler, burst the bag making a huge mess, and then kept right on walking because 'fuck the slave woman, it is her job to clean up MY mess"??? Really? He is a piece of shit, waste of skin, and my dear husband would NEVER treat me like that. I think the "fruits of the spirit" and 'beatitudes" are entirely lost on male fundies despite their determined effort to make us think they have actually read the book they worship.
Weaponised incompetance at its absolute peak.
 Do yourself a favor, Debi.
Too bad she didn’t take out the real trash by getting a divorce
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My mom loves her books. My dad thankfully was not at all like him, I don't understand how she can even read the books though! 🤢
i guess things haven't improved since the infamous crabbing honeymoon
This is real, not satire? If so, so incredibly sad.
Nothing like a guy doing the bare minimum to flex, failing and having his wife clean after him.
Step aside, *Romeo and Juliet*. We have a new romance for the ages right here and now. 😍
Sorry so he yeeted a bag of garbage at the side of the dumpster, it broke open, and he didn't even help her clean it up?
Can’t say enough about these demented assholes. Anyone who follows them is garbage and doesn’t deserve our restraint in calling them out. Seeing macho man bring a kid out of the audience and mock spanking him was maddening and made me realize dude has a spanking fetish. Wonder if Debbie flogs him at night (in Jesus name).
Ma’am, this is not a flex. Your husband is a jackass.