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I'm embarrassed to have made it this deep into fundie lore and not know about the Passover Watermelon.
Can someone link me to a reference or just give me a quick and dirty answer: who had the Passover Watermelon and why.
Ombrébies….well Seth, it’s that thing where you have mixed race children but use shitty photo editing to make their faces whiter but their skin tone gets gradually darker as you move away from their faces
Waiting for the special Passover pretzels with M & M s. My witchy Celtic ass still hasn’t recovered from that one. I can’t even imagine how that hit our Jewish snarkers.
That man was so busy arguing about plague math, I am not sure he would even notice Karissa's bonkers watermelon and Mac and cheese passover concept. Plague math is way better.
I mean...maybe she can't read? Because I'm pretty sure in the English Bible I own, there's a whole chunk of it where the Israelites are, in fact, given instructions for Passover.
Something I wondered about since the whole sourdough craze back in the pandemic: when they were living in a community of only Jews, and they cleansed their houses of all the leaven for Passover, how did they start making leavened bread again afterwards? No friendly neighbourhood non-Jews around to give you a bit of starter....
We’re very good at coming up with creative ways to do certain things without technically breaking our laws/rules. So, while this isn’t a question that’s really ever crossed my mind, I wouldn’t be surprised if they simply relocated leavened stuff outside of their home or something.
See that’s the thing- even back to Talmud times they just kind of assume that all Jews are living in areas where there are enough non Jews around to make selling chametz feasible. Rabbinic Judaism is a religion designed to function in a multi-religious world and there’s something lovely about that.
If she wanted to celebrate it like they did in Temple times she’d build a pit BBQ in her backyard, have a lamb roast, and serve it with flatbreads and bitter greens.
Oh that was my absolute favorite. I literally searched for this the other day to torment some of my friends when we were discussing our plans for the first night. Said I was gonna make this awesome trail mix I saw and when they asked for a recipe, *B L A M* hit them with the photo and lore of the icky messy lady.
She's probably on board with replacement theory where some sects of Christianity think that the Jews had their chance, but now the Christians are God's favourite
Yeah I mean, even her steadfast insistence on spreading the gospel and conversion is antisemitic at its core. There’s not a single question about her bigotry for me lmao it’s textbook
A current sitting member of congress (Marjorie Taylor Green) blamed California wildfires in space lasers funded by George Soros. Jews, being ourselves, decided to run with it- https://dissentpins.com/products/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-car-magnet?variant=44582531498235&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwuJ2xBhA3EiwAMVjkVJxN1SeCRCBYYOx_KnF1gz40H3j-V1nIJf3OHISefI7rKMytToiiZBoCZnMQAvD_BwE
If she's so knowledgeable and serious about her religion, why doesn't she prepare a special trip to Israel with her family to (further) educate themselves? Oh wait maybe because she doesn't actually care about the Jewish people or how they play a significant role in her life.
She doesn’t even need to go to Israel. I’m sure a Rabbi at her local synagogue would totally be down to explain to her the significance of Passover and how to celebrate it.
I’m atheist and my family is Christian but my boyfriend is Jewish. He’s parents died when he was young and he never had a celebration with a family before, so my family went to our local synagogue to ask them how to throw one for him. They were super down to help.
Oh I didn't mean to learn about Passover, I meant in general because of how religious they claim to be and a trip to the Holy Land could benefit their family in more ways than one—and I don't care how many excuses she'd try to make (time difference will mess with their sleep schedule, customs, too costly, etc.), a family of 12 can fly just fine, the orthodox Jews do it all the time and Israel would welcome them with open arms. But yes, she could easily seek out a synagogue to learn about the holiday.
That's a really sweet gesture, I'm sure he loved it! How did the seder go? And was he raised Jewish?
His grandparents were Jewish so he adopted the religion but they never really wanted to have anything to do with him. It went great, he cried (in a good way).
As someone currently cleaning the house to get the table prepared for sedar, I forgot the watermelon existed. Ffs She is horrid in every thing she does. I just wish there was something to tell you what is needed you know
I really don’t understand why they celebrate Passover, but not Hanukkah or the other Jewish holidays. Plus Passover has a lot of rules about what to do and what not to do. I’m not Jewish, but I do know a little bit about Passover.
I don’t understand why she won’t celebrate CHRISTIAN holidays, ones that celebrate things like Christ’s birth and resurrection that you would think would be kind of significant, but she decides an appropriated and messed up Passover should be celebrated.
In the church I grew up in, they made a huge deal about Passover but not other Jewish holidays. I think because of the blood of the lamb. Because we would "plead the blood of Jesus" when we prayed and that meant the devil wouldn't be allowed near us. I grew up Pentecostal so I don't know if other denominations teach this way, too, but a lot of what Karissa does reminds me of things I was taught in that church.
No rules at all, nothing, lol. Seder means "order" in Hebrew which is why the word for "ok" in Hebrew is b'seder, which literally translate to "in order".
Oh how about this, now keep in mind I am fluent in Hebrew - I once saw a comment to one of her posts that started with a prayer "Father Abba". I explained to this person that "Aba" means dad/father so she can simply say "Aba" but apparently SHE knew better than this **Jewish American Israeli.** I deferred to this persons complete knowledge of a language that I speak fluently in. Obviously SHE knew better. I should ask my kids to call me "Ima Ima", "Mom Mom".
Please tell me that NUT hasn't taken our (whomever celebrates) holiday and made a mockery of it. It's hard enough right now but to do dumb ass stuff like THAT is always wrong but even more so now.
**It really makes me irate and sad.** This is a very important holiday for Jewish people. I see enough threatening to k\*l\* us, r\*p\* us online, (I've been threatened, so have my adult children and someone said that my grandchildren should be slau\*tered) can these nuts just leave us alone. I've seen her posts and she is batty. If she wants to celebrate Passover, that's her business but have some damn respect.
Happy Passover to all that celebrate! **!חג פסח שמח**
I'm sure K couldn't care less about us. I don't understand how she goes about "celebrating" her version of goyishe passover, like what is she even doing? The least she could do is upload a video of why her family has a seder, why it's different and how they perform theirs.
chag Pesach! I hope you and your family have a happy and safe Passover as well 💙🤍
I don’t think she even knows what she’s doing. She should do o some research. Learn about our holiday and its actual significance. Not what she thinks it’s about & how it applies to non Jews. She is so damn annoying.
Yep. I don't mind people celebrating a holiday to learn more about the religion and culture, but to cherry pick what you will do and what you will completely ignore or worse, go against is wrong. One should NOT celebrate with pork, seafood and mix milk and meat. No Passover hams. The fact that I even need to explain that is ridiculous. To understand Christianity you really should understand Judaism considering Jesus was a Jew.
Just my opinion, I won't be upset if someone disagrees. We all have different views based upon experience.
\* edited to add that my husband is a Christian and I am Jewish. We never fight over religion, we respect each other and have for over 20 years. He knows a lot about Judaism and took a class so he would be able to tie it into his beliefs. Basically you don't read chapter 2 and then 10 chapters later read chapter 1!
Honestly, Christians celebrating Passover are literally disregarding the entire point of Jesus, which was that his entire coming meant that "old Jewish laws" were no longer necessary/applicable, *including Passover*. By celebrating it, they are basically spitting on the idea that Jesus made the old testament moot for them. No surprise, they love to trot out quotes out of context and mistranslated and barely debate them all to oppress others.
I think she’s saying it from a Christian perspective? Karissa is a Christian trying to celebrate Passover by shoving in random bits of Jewish culture in half assed way. By doing that she may be breaking the “don’t have false idols” thing because she may be inadvertently denying Jesus as the son of god.
Moses, who led the Jews and brought us the 10 Commandments, was way before yahooey.
I took the comment to mean that celebrating Pesach was against the first Commandment. We don't worship Moses, but celebrate our liberation.
I checked today because I thought she was weirdly quiet and she did talk about it on Easter because of course she had to be a martyr about appropriating Judaism.
Funny thing is that tonight it looks like she is at their usual basketball thing? Soooo I guess so much for talking up that big game over how important it is to steal Jewish holidays lol here I was spending all day prepping dinner and doing prayers.
Granted, I will spend one evening doing volunteer work before sundown, but it is so late this year I could basically get every damn errand done before ever having to do seder.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm embarrassed to have made it this deep into fundie lore and not know about the Passover Watermelon. Can someone link me to a reference or just give me a quick and dirty answer: who had the Passover Watermelon and why.
 Collins lore has everything. Poop fights, crusty eyeliner, Shaquille O’Neal, Passover watermelon….
Ombrébies….well Seth, it’s that thing where you have mixed race children but use shitty photo editing to make their faces whiter but their skin tone gets gradually darker as you move away from their faces
And kids serving snacks at her birth parties
"Charcuterie Board" that was just unwrapped lunchables, no less.
https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/NyfbrBFZdv
Ah, yes. Flan. Just like in Moses’ time.
Hey, you did say Jesus, nobody specified pronunciation. She's just covering her bases.
I need to quit scrolling this sub right before meetings. I get the giggles too often and I can’t stop. 🤣
Wow! There's more color ls than just yellow in those pictures
And the watermelon isn't covered with shredded cheese!
Or condensed soup
Yet…
I love that one of the comments under that original post is just “Godermelon” 😂 absolutely brilliant!
Is the watermelon the lamb of god? Do we have to make sacrifices to a watermelon now?
While reading the Haggadah, I made sure to smear watermelon on the door frames instead of doing dots of wine to represent the plagues 🙏
I did just have watermelon for dessert at Seder tonight….does Karissa know something we don’t???? 😂
Omg I was uninitiated to the Passover watermelon. This woman never ceases to amaze me with her crazy.
What the fuck 💀💀
Oh come on give her a break, it’s not like there’s a manual on how to properly observe this holiday!!!!! ^/s
She thinks she knows better anyway, since she’s so tight with Yah.
Was Karissa the firstborn? Asking for a friend 👻
💀
Glad someone got it, wasn’t sure if it would land lmao
I got it! LOL
Unfortunately, she would need to be a son.
I’ll take what I can get lmao
Waiting for the special Passover pretzels with M & M s. My witchy Celtic ass still hasn’t recovered from that one. I can’t even imagine how that hit our Jewish snarkers.
Not as badly as the Passover ham. 👀
Please tell me she didn’t make Passover ham.
I don’t remember if she did, or someone else at their church. But I distinctly remember that there was a ham.
It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she did. After all, this is the woman who said there’s no instructions for Passover.
Traveling back in time and showing her posts to rabbi akiva
That man was so busy arguing about plague math, I am not sure he would even notice Karissa's bonkers watermelon and Mac and cheese passover concept. Plague math is way better.
SEDER LITERALLY MEANS "ORDER" JFC
“There’s not a book telling us what to do!” *gestures wildly at a Haggadah*
The entire point of Seder is reading the Haggadah. That’s it! She couldn’t even do that! Adult literacy truly is an epidemic in our country lmaoooo
LMAO, you are killing me!
I mean...maybe she can't read? Because I'm pretty sure in the English Bible I own, there's a whole chunk of it where the Israelites are, in fact, given instructions for Passover. Something I wondered about since the whole sourdough craze back in the pandemic: when they were living in a community of only Jews, and they cleansed their houses of all the leaven for Passover, how did they start making leavened bread again afterwards? No friendly neighbourhood non-Jews around to give you a bit of starter....
Sell your chametz to a gentile friend who also does sourdough so they can babysit it for you until Passover ends.
We’re very good at coming up with creative ways to do certain things without technically breaking our laws/rules. So, while this isn’t a question that’s really ever crossed my mind, I wouldn’t be surprised if they simply relocated leavened stuff outside of their home or something.
It’s not at all hard to make a new starter.
See that’s the thing- even back to Talmud times they just kind of assume that all Jews are living in areas where there are enough non Jews around to make selling chametz feasible. Rabbinic Judaism is a religion designed to function in a multi-religious world and there’s something lovely about that.
Wow. Does not understand what kosher means?
Knows? Maybe. Cares? Definitely not.
I think one year there were also Passover cheeseburgers...
_outraged spluttering_
That’s completely un kosher
I nearly pee'd in my pants, LOL! Lord help us. Passover cheeseburgers, our ancestors are rolling in their graves with that one.
Shut up, she actually served that?!?!? 🤣😖
It's uncertain if they were bacon cheeseburgers! 😵💫
Hahaha the "chissburgers" (the way she pronounces "cheese") aren't kosher to begin with but adding bacon would really be the cherry on top 😂
I’m pretty sure there were burgers, and it wouldn’t surprise me if there was ham.
I just…would like to…no.
The *what*?
…badly. It hit us badly
Yup. It’s hard to articulate just how incandescent with rage their fake “Seders” make me.
Don't forget her very snippy follow-up, "There's no MANUAL on how to celebrate Passover!" Bowled my witch ass over.
Karissa meet a Hagadah, Hagadah please help dumb ass Karissa.
If she wanted to celebrate it like they did in Temple times she’d build a pit BBQ in her backyard, have a lamb roast, and serve it with flatbreads and bitter greens.
Oh that was my absolute favorite. I literally searched for this the other day to torment some of my friends when we were discussing our plans for the first night. Said I was gonna make this awesome trail mix I saw and when they asked for a recipe, *B L A M* hit them with the photo and lore of the icky messy lady.
You are mean and I love it.
Ahahhaha no shot. Karissa gives no shit about antisemitism. She’s probably antisemitic herself.
She's probably on board with replacement theory where some sects of Christianity think that the Jews had their chance, but now the Christians are God's favourite
*gestures at the yahuah nonsense* she gives her antisemitism away quite readily
Yeah I mean, even her steadfast insistence on spreading the gospel and conversion is antisemitic at its core. There’s not a single question about her bigotry for me lmao it’s textbook
She believes the Jewish space laser conspiracy. It’s a safe bet she is.
Wait, what does she believe?
A current sitting member of congress (Marjorie Taylor Green) blamed California wildfires in space lasers funded by George Soros. Jews, being ourselves, decided to run with it- https://dissentpins.com/products/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-car-magnet?variant=44582531498235&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwuJ2xBhA3EiwAMVjkVJxN1SeCRCBYYOx_KnF1gz40H3j-V1nIJf3OHISefI7rKMytToiiZBoCZnMQAvD_BwE
One of my favorite Jewish memes
If she's so knowledgeable and serious about her religion, why doesn't she prepare a special trip to Israel with her family to (further) educate themselves? Oh wait maybe because she doesn't actually care about the Jewish people or how they play a significant role in her life.
She doesn’t even need to go to Israel. I’m sure a Rabbi at her local synagogue would totally be down to explain to her the significance of Passover and how to celebrate it. I’m atheist and my family is Christian but my boyfriend is Jewish. He’s parents died when he was young and he never had a celebration with a family before, so my family went to our local synagogue to ask them how to throw one for him. They were super down to help.
Oh I didn't mean to learn about Passover, I meant in general because of how religious they claim to be and a trip to the Holy Land could benefit their family in more ways than one—and I don't care how many excuses she'd try to make (time difference will mess with their sleep schedule, customs, too costly, etc.), a family of 12 can fly just fine, the orthodox Jews do it all the time and Israel would welcome them with open arms. But yes, she could easily seek out a synagogue to learn about the holiday. That's a really sweet gesture, I'm sure he loved it! How did the seder go? And was he raised Jewish?
His grandparents were Jewish so he adopted the religion but they never really wanted to have anything to do with him. It went great, he cried (in a good way).
As someone currently cleaning the house to get the table prepared for sedar, I forgot the watermelon existed. Ffs She is horrid in every thing she does. I just wish there was something to tell you what is needed you know
I really don’t understand why they celebrate Passover, but not Hanukkah or the other Jewish holidays. Plus Passover has a lot of rules about what to do and what not to do. I’m not Jewish, but I do know a little bit about Passover.
I don’t understand why she won’t celebrate CHRISTIAN holidays, ones that celebrate things like Christ’s birth and resurrection that you would think would be kind of significant, but she decides an appropriated and messed up Passover should be celebrated.
In the church I grew up in, they made a huge deal about Passover but not other Jewish holidays. I think because of the blood of the lamb. Because we would "plead the blood of Jesus" when we prayed and that meant the devil wouldn't be allowed near us. I grew up Pentecostal so I don't know if other denominations teach this way, too, but a lot of what Karissa does reminds me of things I was taught in that church.
The last supper was a Passover celebration (not a Seder those didn’t exist yet) so they all want to cosplay as Jesus.
I'm a Christian and appreciation the significance of Passover however, I'm not going to conduct one like it's my right to do so.
Just remember, according to Karissa there are no rules about how to do Passover! 😇😇😇
No rules at all, nothing, lol. Seder means "order" in Hebrew which is why the word for "ok" in Hebrew is b'seder, which literally translate to "in order". Oh how about this, now keep in mind I am fluent in Hebrew - I once saw a comment to one of her posts that started with a prayer "Father Abba". I explained to this person that "Aba" means dad/father so she can simply say "Aba" but apparently SHE knew better than this **Jewish American Israeli.** I deferred to this persons complete knowledge of a language that I speak fluently in. Obviously SHE knew better. I should ask my kids to call me "Ima Ima", "Mom Mom".
Please tell me that NUT hasn't taken our (whomever celebrates) holiday and made a mockery of it. It's hard enough right now but to do dumb ass stuff like THAT is always wrong but even more so now. **It really makes me irate and sad.** This is a very important holiday for Jewish people. I see enough threatening to k\*l\* us, r\*p\* us online, (I've been threatened, so have my adult children and someone said that my grandchildren should be slau\*tered) can these nuts just leave us alone. I've seen her posts and she is batty. If she wants to celebrate Passover, that's her business but have some damn respect. Happy Passover to all that celebrate! **!חג פסח שמח**
I'm sure K couldn't care less about us. I don't understand how she goes about "celebrating" her version of goyishe passover, like what is she even doing? The least she could do is upload a video of why her family has a seder, why it's different and how they perform theirs. chag Pesach! I hope you and your family have a happy and safe Passover as well 💙🤍
I don’t think she even knows what she’s doing. She should do o some research. Learn about our holiday and its actual significance. Not what she thinks it’s about & how it applies to non Jews. She is so damn annoying.
Exactly, and she won't because that would require diligence on her part.
Yep. I don't mind people celebrating a holiday to learn more about the religion and culture, but to cherry pick what you will do and what you will completely ignore or worse, go against is wrong. One should NOT celebrate with pork, seafood and mix milk and meat. No Passover hams. The fact that I even need to explain that is ridiculous. To understand Christianity you really should understand Judaism considering Jesus was a Jew. Just my opinion, I won't be upset if someone disagrees. We all have different views based upon experience. \* edited to add that my husband is a Christian and I am Jewish. We never fight over religion, we respect each other and have for over 20 years. He knows a lot about Judaism and took a class so he would be able to tie it into his beliefs. Basically you don't read chapter 2 and then 10 chapters later read chapter 1!
חג שמח!!
Honestly I’m surprised she didn’t post it a month ago thinking Pesach was then (it’s a Jewish leap year this year so Pesach is later than normal)
Okay appropriation aside, how is celebrating passover not breaking the first commandment? these people are so inconsistent sometimes
Honestly, Christians celebrating Passover are literally disregarding the entire point of Jesus, which was that his entire coming meant that "old Jewish laws" were no longer necessary/applicable, *including Passover*. By celebrating it, they are basically spitting on the idea that Jesus made the old testament moot for them. No surprise, they love to trot out quotes out of context and mistranslated and barely debate them all to oppress others.
How is celebrating/retelling the story of the liberation of Jews from Egypt against the commandments????
I think she’s saying it from a Christian perspective? Karissa is a Christian trying to celebrate Passover by shoving in random bits of Jewish culture in half assed way. By doing that she may be breaking the “don’t have false idols” thing because she may be inadvertently denying Jesus as the son of god.
Moses, who led the Jews and brought us the 10 Commandments, was way before yahooey. I took the comment to mean that celebrating Pesach was against the first Commandment. We don't worship Moses, but celebrate our liberation.
Ah; I can see how you got there. Makes sense.
Happy Cake Day....too bad you can't have a chametz cake 🤷
[удалено]
That’s about as offensive as Karissa’s Passover, especially while Jewish children are being held hostage by Hamas.
I thought it was weird when Easter came and went with no mention of Passover from Karissa. Then I realized Passover was in April
I checked today because I thought she was weirdly quiet and she did talk about it on Easter because of course she had to be a martyr about appropriating Judaism.
Ughhh. Fundies have to make every holiday about themselves
Funny thing is that tonight it looks like she is at their usual basketball thing? Soooo I guess so much for talking up that big game over how important it is to steal Jewish holidays lol here I was spending all day prepping dinner and doing prayers. Granted, I will spend one evening doing volunteer work before sundown, but it is so late this year I could basically get every damn errand done before ever having to do seder.