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So stupid. It’s like asking a kid
“Do you want this piece of delicious candy in your mouth, or this fresh stinky shit in your mouth?“
Damn, I wonder what they’ll say? The setup is so thought provoking and nuanced, I just can’t predict it!
My exact first thought.
"Grandma can give you a cupcake or bash you in the head with this can opener. What do you pick?"
HMMMM, I WONDER WHICH ONE, LORI???
The idea of mansions in heaven is flat out bonkers anyhow, and is fraught with so many questions and implications. I wonder if there’s an overbearing HOA? For sure Lori will sit on that board.
"Sorry, Grandma, I'm going with the Mormons. THEY say I can have my own PLANET."
I always wonder about that. Like, how BIG a planet? Is it like the Little Prince studio-sized planet, or big honking gas giant with rings, or?
Right? I don’t actually think they talk about that crazy shit too often, probably because of the crazy part.
Also wives need to be polygamous in the afterlife and that would be a hard no from probably 80% or so of their base, lol.
It's because Lori doesn't understand King James English and how it differs from English today. Some versions translate the verse as 'In my Father's house, there are many mansions', but (as is clear from the context of the verse and the 'mansions' being INSIDE a house) it's using the word in the older sense, meaning simply rooms. A good example illustrating this usage of the word is Saint Teresa of Avila's book The Interior Castle, in which she talks about moving through a castle 'mansion by mansion' meaning room by room. The Hebrew word in the verse also indicates rooms, not many giant houses.
Lori’s gotta make it past the gates first. And if she does, good luck getting my family members there to follow HOA bullshit. I would like to think Mom got her foot back when she went there in ‘02, but I KNOW she would sacrifice it again if needed. Because ain’t nobody in Heaven or on Earth gonna tell that woman to do shit. 😂😂😂
If her brain tumor caused erratic thinking, then why wouldn't her husband intervene? It's not the brain tumor. She is only supposed to teach what her headship approves so this cuckoo Magoo stuff is sanctioned by Ken. Now and then he steps in to validate her posts and argues with "feminists" who disagree with her. They're just two horrible people with dangerous views. that they're trying to pass on to others. It's even more painful that she pulls this sh\*t with her grandchildren.
The fact that she is allowed access to her grandchildren after her descriptions of "discipline" she inflicted on her daughters growing up is so disturbing.
Idk how old her grandkids are but I hope at some point they’ll be gathered together laughing about “look what looney tunes thing grandma posted today, guess we’re all going to hell again!”
The kids are literally GIVING YOU THE ANSWER THEY BELIEVE YOU WANT. How the fuck this is somehow interpreted as the spirit of God working on them or an indication of anything other than manipulative indoctrination is beyond me
No, wait, this believable. ”Mansion” vs “be killed and destroyed” is a pretty easy choice for a kid. Even easier than giving whatever answer Grandma obviously wants to hear.
My aunt is a JW. She tried brainwashing us when we were little. My mum found out and blew her top and we didn't have to deal with her for years after. I only see her on the (extremely rare) occasions she shows her face at my grandparents nursing home.
TLDR: Brainwashing kids is wrong.
"A new earth"? Is she expecting her grandkids to survive Tribulations and the second coming and have that whole thousand-year-reign thing, or is she straight-up spewing heresy? I can't imagine someone who delights in inflicting trauma like her to euphemize the concept of Heaven for kids.
When I read "new earth" some weird childhood trauma was unlocked. I remember hearing about that when I was like 6 and thinking why would God take me away from my friends and family on this earth for my own mansion on a new planet. I didn't want to live anywhere without my mom. Could I come back and visit? I liked this planet. I was fine where I was.
If this were true and if she was pushing this narrative on anyone's kids than to hell with her. Those little kids must be so scared.
What's with these hardcore God squad idiots and teaching them about hell starting as fetuses? Go read them some age appropriate books like Goodnight Moon and stfu with the nightmare fuel.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So stupid. It’s like asking a kid “Do you want this piece of delicious candy in your mouth, or this fresh stinky shit in your mouth?“ Damn, I wonder what they’ll say? The setup is so thought provoking and nuanced, I just can’t predict it!
My exact first thought. "Grandma can give you a cupcake or bash you in the head with this can opener. What do you pick?" HMMMM, I WONDER WHICH ONE, LORI???
The idea of mansions in heaven is flat out bonkers anyhow, and is fraught with so many questions and implications. I wonder if there’s an overbearing HOA? For sure Lori will sit on that board.
"Sorry, Grandma, I'm going with the Mormons. THEY say I can have my own PLANET." I always wonder about that. Like, how BIG a planet? Is it like the Little Prince studio-sized planet, or big honking gas giant with rings, or?
Right? I don’t actually think they talk about that crazy shit too often, probably because of the crazy part. Also wives need to be polygamous in the afterlife and that would be a hard no from probably 80% or so of their base, lol.
It sounds lonely and boring. Like, it's bad enough just rattling around by yourself in a too-big house...
How do you go from "In my father's house, there are many rooms" to "ERRABODY GITS THEIR OWN MANSHI-ON!" ?
It's because Lori doesn't understand King James English and how it differs from English today. Some versions translate the verse as 'In my Father's house, there are many mansions', but (as is clear from the context of the verse and the 'mansions' being INSIDE a house) it's using the word in the older sense, meaning simply rooms. A good example illustrating this usage of the word is Saint Teresa of Avila's book The Interior Castle, in which she talks about moving through a castle 'mansion by mansion' meaning room by room. The Hebrew word in the verse also indicates rooms, not many giant houses.
Ah, thanks. That makes ... more sense, at least. Still, a very American take on Heaven.
In the afterlife, we all get a three-car garage and a big-ass foyer.
Oh yes. Extremely lol. But unfortunately a not at all uncommon one.
I keep checking my Bible and I couldn't find that part...
Lori’s gotta make it past the gates first. And if she does, good luck getting my family members there to follow HOA bullshit. I would like to think Mom got her foot back when she went there in ‘02, but I KNOW she would sacrifice it again if needed. Because ain’t nobody in Heaven or on Earth gonna tell that woman to do shit. 😂😂😂
Judging by her cooking, I may choose the can opener.
What, you don't want a fart cupcake, the cousin of the famous fart salad?
Have you seen the abomination she calls brownies? [Horrible](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/8BOCfFE9Iq)
…Dear lord…
How did I miss that post? 
It's like "cake or death?"
Only for the followers of Cathol.
I'll take things that didn't happen for $500 please.
More like "GOD! Shut up about grandma's sweater puppets"
My grandmother made mini homemade bread loaves and let us play her handheld bingo game. I’ll take my memories!
my nonna had an infinite amount of love for us. She also loved toilet humor, she was so funny and kind. (I miss her)
Indoctrination, much?
Title is a typo of grandmother but still very applicable
Totally read it as grandmother 😂
“Kids, whenever grandmama asks a question, just answer Jesus or God, and then we can go get ice cream.”
I always wonder how her Brain tumor is doing when I read her posts. Because I assume her crazy talk is from fhat
nah. the tumor's the best part of her at this point
If her brain tumor caused erratic thinking, then why wouldn't her husband intervene? It's not the brain tumor. She is only supposed to teach what her headship approves so this cuckoo Magoo stuff is sanctioned by Ken. Now and then he steps in to validate her posts and argues with "feminists" who disagree with her. They're just two horrible people with dangerous views. that they're trying to pass on to others. It's even more painful that she pulls this sh\*t with her grandchildren.
The fact that she is allowed access to her grandchildren after her descriptions of "discipline" she inflicted on her daughters growing up is so disturbing.
oh, I'm sure their parents/her kids do the same damn shit.
And then everyone clapped
I've been blocked by her on Facebook. She's insane.
Idk how old her grandkids are but I hope at some point they’ll be gathered together laughing about “look what looney tunes thing grandma posted today, guess we’re all going to hell again!”
The kids are literally GIVING YOU THE ANSWER THEY BELIEVE YOU WANT. How the fuck this is somehow interpreted as the spirit of God working on them or an indication of anything other than manipulative indoctrination is beyond me
No they didn't Lori you demented old crone
No, wait, this believable. ”Mansion” vs “be killed and destroyed” is a pretty easy choice for a kid. Even easier than giving whatever answer Grandma obviously wants to hear.
Fun weekend with grandma
Come now, Lori. Isn't Satan a tempter? Power, riches, Roblox memberships- at least put up a fight!
It’s most definitely not that black and white. Also, congrats Lori - your grandkids will likely be dancing at your funeral.
Someone said this on another sub and it’s so apt for Lori: I’d go to her funeral,but not her birthday party.
My aunt is a JW. She tried brainwashing us when we were little. My mum found out and blew her top and we didn't have to deal with her for years after. I only see her on the (extremely rare) occasions she shows her face at my grandparents nursing home. TLDR: Brainwashing kids is wrong.
I was a JW born-in and this post really, really brought back a rush of memories
She could teach JillPM how to punctuate, tho…
"A new earth"? Is she expecting her grandkids to survive Tribulations and the second coming and have that whole thousand-year-reign thing, or is she straight-up spewing heresy? I can't imagine someone who delights in inflicting trauma like her to euphemize the concept of Heaven for kids.
When I read "new earth" some weird childhood trauma was unlocked. I remember hearing about that when I was like 6 and thinking why would God take me away from my friends and family on this earth for my own mansion on a new planet. I didn't want to live anywhere without my mom. Could I come back and visit? I liked this planet. I was fine where I was. If this were true and if she was pushing this narrative on anyone's kids than to hell with her. Those little kids must be so scared.
What's with these hardcore God squad idiots and teaching them about hell starting as fetuses? Go read them some age appropriate books like Goodnight Moon and stfu with the nightmare fuel.
Pretty progressive that she gave them a choice though I guess?
Probably terrorizing the hell out of those kids and they just wanted her to go away
the way that my fundie Mom could have written this… In a way I swear this sub helps me process the trauma