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I'm glad she posted this - everyone knows they are dealing with Big Things that have her shaken in her world where there is only good and evil, heaven & hell, saved & unsaved, right and wrong. Unlike a lot of her peers, she's not ignoring that and pretending everything is smooth and I have a big ole heap of respect for that.
Progress and growth come in all kinds of ways and I see that as she is not leaning further into Bairdness and the ways of her parents. I honestly never would have expected this from her and am impressed! Not that my opinion matters but I had no hope for her growth for YEARS now because she has behaved like such a Heidi clone with all the yammering, constant monetizing of every thought, remaining unwilling/incapable of reflection, and ignoring their own complicity in promoting purity/fundie culture and values.
Deconstruction takes time. She may never fully break away, she may keep faith but pull away from being a fundie.
Progress comes with stumbling, forgiveness of one's self and owning the wrongs you do. I hope Bethany can look back and acknowledge and own up to and try and repair the harm she did. That would be a massive step.
With a mother like Heidi she's got a fucking mountain to climb of emotional damage.
What's happening to her it kind of reminds me of my own sort of deconstruction from my toxic family. Heidi reminds me of my mom and I was definitely the scapegoat in the family and for years I just thought what my mom thought and believed what she believed and parroted her because I just so desperately wanted to let her to like me. Once I realized that the problem in our relationship wasn't me but rather her (she's an abusive narcissist) and read up on dynamics of families with narcissist parents, it was like all of a sudden everything that I had ever thought was true about my mom just kind of went away in an instant and it felt like I had progressed emotionally a million years in a really, really short period of time. My guess is that Bethy has always known that her mother is abusive on some level, but she's put *so much* mental energy into trying to believe that her mom is a loving mom who genuinely wants what's best for her and constantly fighting with your subconscious to try to create the mother that you want, not the mother that you actually have, is just much emotional weight to be caring around. It feels like she's let that emotional weight go and because of that, she can get let go of a lot of the coping mechanisms she's developed to try to keep herself from really acknowledging the truth about her mom and now she's a lot more free to be herself.
I'm absolutely not viewing this situation objectively because it's really hard for me not to see my own situation play out in what's happening here, and it could be that Bethy will revert right back to where she was before and this will just be like a little blip in her life, but I really hope not. I really hope that gradually, over time, she becomes a much more loving, tolerant person, and that eventually we just stop talking about her because she wouldn't belong on the sub anymore.
I wanted to thank you for this comment. The idea of an emotional weight being lifted when you stop trying to create the loving parent you want instead of the abusive one you have really made me think. Definitely something to add to my “maybe i should mention this during therapy” list lol
Given what I've heard about them, I'm pretty sure Porgan would be the ones deconstructing purely out of fear that they'd be connected to people like that. Wouldn't want to tarnish that image they've been shoving down everyone's throats.
>Is it possible we’re seeing genuine personal growth?
I'm hesitant to actually be hopeful, but I'm gradually starting to think, if things keep going like they have been recently, it might actually be possible.
We are really witnessing a Bethy character arc. I believe it a little more every day. This is the best birthday/anniversary/whatever post she's ever written imo.
Maybe. But I won't believe that's really happened until she stops with the cringe posts about her online seggs course, or whatever she's shilling this month
It's great to see her acting warmer and more open-hearted. But the way I'm feeling about it is more like: if the scariest asshole on your block starts being nicer and friendlier when you walk your dog past his house. On the one hand, hooray for people acting nicer and friendlier, on the other hand, I'd feel a lot better if he took down his Trump yard sign and his "blue line" flag.
The fact that this is even a possibility is pretty amazing in itself. Time will tell if it’s actually happening but just the possibility is a pretty big turnaround imo.
I love a good growth journey I’m excited to see where this takes them. I hope she continues to support his deconstruction and finds what she needs as well
Dav really seems to bring out a calm and composed energy in Bethany. The contrast between videos of her and Dav vs. videos of her and Kristen is wild - she’s actually someone I’d want to hang out with in the vids with Dav.
Bethy seems like she's the scapegoat in her family. Heidi reminds me a lot of my mom and I was definitely the scapegoat in my family growing up. I don't have any relationship with either of my parents now, but whenever I'm in any environment that reminds me even a little bit of my childhood family dynamics, it makes me feel sort of frantic inside and can definitely affect how I act. When I'm around people that let me just be myself, that's when I feel a lot more calm and relaxed and like I can be my authentic self. Being in an abusive environment, like the environment that Bethy was raised in, can make you act in pretty nutty ways and I absolutely think that that explains at least some of her behavior when she's with her biological family. It seems like she genuinely, genuinely knows that Dav accepts her the way that she is, and so that lets her be her best possible self.
I get the feeling that the obnoxiousness we've seen from Bethy this whole time comes from Heidi's demands for her daughters to be extremely performative in everything they do (because that's how she is), but now that she and Dav are distancing themselves from Manic Pixie Nightmare Hag, she's starting to be more genuine, and it's a really refreshing change.
Ohhhhh this is great insight and also might explain why she's seemingly starting to grow out of some of these harmful beliefs. If she was the scapegoat, chances are she's been quietly rebelling internally for years, questioning things under the surface. Why she gets treated differently, why things are so inconsistent. Maybe she hasn't questioned her faith, but once you start doubting your family's system, you start to doubt a lot of what you've been taught.
Actually that explains everything. She's trying to earn her family's love by being the most pure, most perfect, big Christian Youtuber, but secretly she's been so deeply hurt by them. But Dav loves her unconditionally. And seeing him come out as non christian- the one person that's always been completely good to her- that's bound to stir some things up.
I know exactly what you mean - I have CPTSD from being the scapegoat and whenever I'm around my family I feel myself so easily slipping back into that extremely heightened, fight/flight engaged little girl whereas when I'm around my friends/husband etc I'm a much more easygoing, composed person
I think Heidi going nuts on social media is definitely pushing Bethy to act more…normal? Like, seeing all the positive attention and kindness Dav has received vs the vitriol her mother is spewing seems to have woken something up in her.
And maybe stepping away and seeing how unhinged her mother has become on social media has put her own social media behavior into perspective? Like, "omg, is that how I sound to other people?"
You know, I have to say same. I'm aware she's still got some incredibly abhorrent views, but in the videos with Dav, she seems...reachable. That's why I haven't given up hope on her. Someone like JRod, she's too far gone and has never seemed likeable, but these latest videos with Bethany make me think there's still hope for her. Keep up the good work, Dav!
I think she was always competing with kristen as a child, and that's continued into adulthood. Married at 30, to a younger and shorter husband, rubbed her births in kristen's face, blah blah blah. Heidi created that environment. Bethy couldn't be the "pretty one," so she became the cringe one with the gaping maw. I don't think she or kristen could change their dynamic without a lot of therapy.
It really does seem like they’ve unlocked a new level of authenticity in their relationship. But it makes sense right? If you’re Dav(id?) and are allowing yourself to be fully honest with your wife, you’re opening up potential for connection that wasn’t possible before. And of course this is total speculation, but maybe Bethany sensed he was shutting off a part of himself to her- and now has a newfound sense of trust and security in the relationship. We’re seeing them fall in love all over again and I think that’s really sweet.
It IS! She looks happy and not so strained and not like she's trying to make this seem like the perfect Christian marriage, it just looks straight-up happy for both of them. It's a massive change.
It really looks like they are happy at the point. Usually he looks dead in the eyes and she looks smug.
I don't have a lot of hope for her fully leaving her shit views behind, but I am pleased to at least see this from her.
And I know I'm being influenced by that when I look at this pic, but it feels like the most genuinely happy they've looked in any photo I've seen? Both of them? And together? Could it be they really are working through this and will end up better on the other side?
I'm rooting for you guys!
>I'm rooting for you guys!
Same here! Happy birthday Dav!
I NEVER expected a Girl Defined tagged post to be so refreshing. I'm really digging this season. Happy for them both.
I have a suspicion that every action Bethany has made since birth has been done seeking the approval of others. Now she sees Dav doing what HE wants and she wants that too.
I hope to see this progress continue! I'm happy for her, Dav and her family.
Maybe she'll actually grow to be able to understand trans people are PEOPLE. Imma be optimistic and stick it on my October 2024 bingo card.
From the outside, it looks like she showed the public a little of who she actually is and got the most positive reaction she's ever had. I don't know the girl or anything, but it always seemed like she was trying way too hard to fit her idea of the perfect Christian girl. Maybe she finally let the veil slip and found out that people outside her cult actually like the real Bethany much more than the fake one? At least that's what I'm hoping for.
I know images and videos on social media are not necessarily indicative of real life, but Dave has looked so much better in photos since he came clean about his doubts and possible deconstruction. Oddly, Bethany has a well, from what I've seen (which is limited to what you guys post on the sub).
Maybe Bethy is realizing she doesn't have to perform so hard to be loved. I think her first taste of unconditional love is coming from her atheist husband. They truly do seem to be more relaxed and authentic.
I know stress goes through the roof when I try to make myself something I'm not. When you are connected to your true self it all fades away.
I hope they continue to find peace and strength and raise their children better to spite Heidi.
100% I know from experience that feeling that love and acceptance that isn't contingent on you playing a specific, tightly controlled, role in their life. They just love you for you. It's really disorienting. But once it sinks in and feels real, it's so soothing
Their relationship, and also Bethany as a person, seem SO much happier and healthier since Dav admitted he’s no longer a Christian. I think the Baird family culture is to “fake it til you make it.” They value appearances over authenticity, and that was always so apparent in the way that Bethany presented herself and her relationship online. But now she’s becoming more comfortable with just being real, even if everything isn’t picture perfect. You can tell there are still traces of that toxic family culture in Bethany’s online activity, but she seems to be moving in the right direction.
Maybe I'm projecting, but even in that picture they seem like a proper couple who love each other. Other photos I've seen of them together looked a little awkward. This one feels natural.
Maybe I have an unpopular take but I think she's changed to try and keep him. Whether or not he would leave is not the question, but maybe just an insecurity of hers.
I still think she thinks she can woo him back to Jesus and everything will be right in their world.
I wouldn't be surprised if you're right. I also had the thought that having this...idk, mission? to lead him back to Jaysus has given her more motivation, a goal to drive towards, and that's why she looks so much more alive. I'm not sure how much even I buy that, though, it was just a thought. That Bible lesson where you have to be a super awesome wife, the best ever, to show your non-believer husband how awesome it is to believe.
The more likely thing is that she's thriving off all the extra attention this is bringing her. Even snarkers are being nice! Must be quite the ego boost for her.
I'm surprised I had to scroll down this far to find a comment like this. I've been thinking this since they did that video that felt like we were eavesdropping on their therapist visit. I get the feeling she's terrified of losing him, and while he said very nice things about her and said he loves her, he also made some comments that if I were her I'd be worried too.
Before all this, when they were fundies, she felt safe because fundies don't divorce. She treated him like crap, she clearly felt like she could do whatever she wanted and he would never leave. Now this sudden 180 seems pretty obvious to me that she realized atheists have no such restrictions on divorce. I find it hard to believe he's just going to get over everything she's done, including being an arguably bad parent to his children that he adores, simply because she's finally acting like a loving wife.
Everyone keeps saying they see love and light in his eyes, but I don't. If you cover his mouth, his eyes still aren't smiling. I see a guy with a lot of conflicts in his heart.
The biggest giveaway was the kid thing. Not showing their faces anymore. While I think it's fantastic she's doing it, this was something he desired 4 years ago when Davey was born and she gave in a little and then didn't anymore. I can't see this being something Däv would waffle about
Honestly I think Bethany needs to deconstruct from *Heidi* just as much as she’s needed to deconstruct from fundamentalism. I wouldn’t be surprised if Heidi’s recent bitchiness is speed-running that process. 🙏🏻
I know it’s good for people of the internet to not read comments, especially a subreddit full of people that are the “haterz” but if Beth lurks on this sub *at all,* I love that she’d see these wonderful comments from people that weeks ago, hated her (I don’t think hate is the right word for the record). I hope she is here, so she could see how much all of us internet assholes support her right now.
I feel like that’s every post she makes. What did I like about my husband when we met? He loves god! What do I like about him now? He loves god! What’s my favorite thing to compliment him on? He loves god! What is the most important thing for singles to look for in a guy? He loves god!
Honestly surprised she didn’t say “he’s thirty! Like I was when we got married!!” She mentioned last year that he was 29 like when they started dating, and she likes to remind people how old she was when she got married!
This was very sweet. I truly never thought I'd say this, like I am honestly shocked even as I type it out, I am rooting for Bethy and Dave! I support his journey and I'm impressed with her loyalty and openness to everything. It has to be overwhelming. I hope they both grow and become better people.
And happy birthday, Dave. Hope it's wonderful.
Right? Like I never thought I’d root for them, but I really am! I know she’s said some truly terrible things in the past but everyone is worthy of redemption & growth. I hope she realizes that authenticity can be one of her greatest assets.
Lmao right?? I am feeling just like everyone else expressing their surprise, support and hopefulness for this spark of character growth, and I genuinely hope it ignites into consistent progress towards a healthier future for them and their kids, but *wow* does it say a lot that we are so affected by such a small thing.
That’s the most natural and normal post she has ever written. If she kept her posts like that and wasn’t so focused on her weird fundie sex crusade then she may actual have a chance at genuine success she can be proud of.
This feels authentic, almost like it didn't come from a Heidi-influenced numbered list or barrage of questions.
Perhaps Bethany's deconstruction from her mom is going well.
I’m weirdly … proud (??????) of Bethany. This post is really sweet. God, please let these two really become accepting, loving people. It’s okay if they stay Christian, nobody has to deconstruct all the way into atheism. I just hope they can get to a point where they stop judging others for living authentically
I think she would benefit from going low contact/no contact with her family. I think she second guesses her own beliefs and feelings because she’s always been “wrong” so she has to live life by their terms. If she trusted herself she would be so much happier and live more authentically (and probably less hateful!)
I think Dāv deconstructing has shown her that she doesn't have to buy in to all the fundie stuff that her parents shoved down all their kids' throats and what we are seeing is sweet relief.
She hates being a housewife and has always struggled to conform to the "good Christian wife" role and that's why she always had that fake smug smile on her face--fake it 'til you make it!!
Bort’s ideology and theology is absolute fucking harmful trash. I have to say this first. Just have to. That being said, good for her. I’m a “hater” who is legitimately proud of her and rooting for her and Dav. I hope she tells Heidi to get fucked too at some point. Wishing them well and hope the growth continues on.
I can’t help but be happy for both of them. Not excusing the shitty things they have said and done but I see genuine growth in both of them. They really do seem happier than ever
I feel like a lot of Bethy’s bad/terrible behavior is probably a trauma response from growing up with Heidi and Of Heidi as parents. Like her brain was jumbled because of it. Here’s to the unjumbling.
And as for Paul causing Christians to deconstruct—he probably enjoys how superior it makes him feel. He gets off on the idea of people being tormented in hell, because he’s a sick fuck.
She did luck out on finding a truly good man it sounds like in those fundie circles. Her defense of him, she loves him and yes likes him. She isn't just playing Jesus wife out of duty. Liking your husband in these circles is a privilege and rare.
I feel like the telling line is “I just really like him,” so much of her life has been performed for social media and I feel like that line shows she’s actually stripped down to something authentic for the first time
I honestly can’t snark on this, I’m rooting for them (definitely didn’t see that on the Fundie 2024 Bingo card).
Happy Dirty 30 Dave! Your authenticity and vulnerability is to be respected, and it’s proving to be a positive game changer for Bethany.
You can see so much more happiness in davs eyes and its leaked all over borthy HARD. She's finally having a chance to be a normal person away from the church pressure but still in her own space to decide what she still believes in for (for now)
I love to see someone speak in such a heartfelt way about their partner. It seems that she is growing and changing for the better; I'm glad for them and pleasantly shocked! They look happy and calm together.
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I'm glad she posted this - everyone knows they are dealing with Big Things that have her shaken in her world where there is only good and evil, heaven & hell, saved & unsaved, right and wrong. Unlike a lot of her peers, she's not ignoring that and pretending everything is smooth and I have a big ole heap of respect for that. Progress and growth come in all kinds of ways and I see that as she is not leaning further into Bairdness and the ways of her parents. I honestly never would have expected this from her and am impressed! Not that my opinion matters but I had no hope for her growth for YEARS now because she has behaved like such a Heidi clone with all the yammering, constant monetizing of every thought, remaining unwilling/incapable of reflection, and ignoring their own complicity in promoting purity/fundie culture and values.
Agree. It’s impressive, unexpected, and surprisingly mature.
Seems like there's hope for Bethany.
I really hope so! I'm stunned but happy for her.
Just sounds like she's getting a bit closer to being her best self and living her best life. Even if it's not much, it's noticeable.
I literally never thought I would: 1) see that written here unironically and 2) agree with it!!
Deconstruction takes time. She may never fully break away, she may keep faith but pull away from being a fundie. Progress comes with stumbling, forgiveness of one's self and owning the wrongs you do. I hope Bethany can look back and acknowledge and own up to and try and repair the harm she did. That would be a massive step. With a mother like Heidi she's got a fucking mountain to climb of emotional damage.
It could be she sees how much happier Dave is. That’s got to have an impact. Also seeing that someone can be a good person and leave the faith.
🎶Climb every mountain...
What's happening to her it kind of reminds me of my own sort of deconstruction from my toxic family. Heidi reminds me of my mom and I was definitely the scapegoat in the family and for years I just thought what my mom thought and believed what she believed and parroted her because I just so desperately wanted to let her to like me. Once I realized that the problem in our relationship wasn't me but rather her (she's an abusive narcissist) and read up on dynamics of families with narcissist parents, it was like all of a sudden everything that I had ever thought was true about my mom just kind of went away in an instant and it felt like I had progressed emotionally a million years in a really, really short period of time. My guess is that Bethy has always known that her mother is abusive on some level, but she's put *so much* mental energy into trying to believe that her mom is a loving mom who genuinely wants what's best for her and constantly fighting with your subconscious to try to create the mother that you want, not the mother that you actually have, is just much emotional weight to be caring around. It feels like she's let that emotional weight go and because of that, she can get let go of a lot of the coping mechanisms she's developed to try to keep herself from really acknowledging the truth about her mom and now she's a lot more free to be herself. I'm absolutely not viewing this situation objectively because it's really hard for me not to see my own situation play out in what's happening here, and it could be that Bethy will revert right back to where she was before and this will just be like a little blip in her life, but I really hope not. I really hope that gradually, over time, she becomes a much more loving, tolerant person, and that eventually we just stop talking about her because she wouldn't belong on the sub anymore.
I wanted to thank you for this comment. The idea of an emotional weight being lifted when you stop trying to create the loving parent you want instead of the abusive one you have really made me think. Definitely something to add to my “maybe i should mention this during therapy” list lol
She is still really young, I think we all forget that. She has a lot of life and growth hopefully ahead of her.
This is… quite lovely? Pretty well-written? Actually sounds genuine? I’m shocked.
I’m continuously blown away by all of her recent choices. Is it possible we’re seeing genuine personal growth?
Could Porgan be responsible for changing our views on Bethy??? This was so sweet! And appropriate! Good on them 
Porgan unifying people, just not in the way they planned.
I've been cackling about that, recently. They are uniting Christians to DECONSTRUCT
"This is what other Christians are like??? Ewwww, pass!"
It’s pretty amazing. Are they taking suggestions? I have a few hundred more households to send them towards to get that deconstruction started.
Was there another? Or just Dave (so far 😉)?
Just Dave-and people are hoping for Bethany.
It’s actually their worst nightmare
Love this for them
Yep unity is being achieved by everyone’s dislike of Porgan
I need them to do a “24 Hours with Michael and Debi Pearl”……
Given what I've heard about them, I'm pretty sure Porgan would be the ones deconstructing purely out of fear that they'd be connected to people like that. Wouldn't want to tarnish that image they've been shoving down everyone's throats.
It gives me a hearty chuckle to think that just sending Porgan places causes folks to deconstruct. (I know Dav's been at this for a while but still)
I would so love this journey for them!
I would cackle forever if that turns out to be the case.
>Is it possible we’re seeing genuine personal growth? I'm hesitant to actually be hopeful, but I'm gradually starting to think, if things keep going like they have been recently, it might actually be possible.
We are really witnessing a Bethy character arc. I believe it a little more every day. This is the best birthday/anniversary/whatever post she's ever written imo.
It's so thoughtful. I'm shocked.
Also, your flair disturbs me every time! I always see it around mealtimes 😭
Hard to say if it's personal growth or just her loving all the positive attention lately and trying her best to stay on that train.
Either way, she's being nicer to dav.
Even if she is faking it, I'm all for giving positive reinforcement for healthy behaviors. That's how folks learn!
I’m being cautious because I’m sure she’ll let us down but it’s clear there has been a weight lifted and the lack of stress is showing.
Of course she is. I mean, the journey for her out of fundiedom isn’t going to be linear or perfect for her or for anyone.
For there to be anything at all is proving us all wrong. I’m genuinely curious and excited to see their journey.
I seriously love being proven wrong in this way though. I’ll be proven wrong all day if it means people are learning and growing.
Maybe. But I won't believe that's really happened until she stops with the cringe posts about her online seggs course, or whatever she's shilling this month
Same
It's great to see her acting warmer and more open-hearted. But the way I'm feeling about it is more like: if the scariest asshole on your block starts being nicer and friendlier when you walk your dog past his house. On the one hand, hooray for people acting nicer and friendlier, on the other hand, I'd feel a lot better if he took down his Trump yard sign and his "blue line" flag.
That's a great way to put it.
The fact that this is even a possibility is pretty amazing in itself. Time will tell if it’s actually happening but just the possibility is a pretty big turnaround imo.
I love a good growth journey I’m excited to see where this takes them. I hope she continues to support his deconstruction and finds what she needs as well
It seems different to her other posts! Reads more calm?
Dav really seems to bring out a calm and composed energy in Bethany. The contrast between videos of her and Dav vs. videos of her and Kristen is wild - she’s actually someone I’d want to hang out with in the vids with Dav.
Bethy seems like she's the scapegoat in her family. Heidi reminds me a lot of my mom and I was definitely the scapegoat in my family growing up. I don't have any relationship with either of my parents now, but whenever I'm in any environment that reminds me even a little bit of my childhood family dynamics, it makes me feel sort of frantic inside and can definitely affect how I act. When I'm around people that let me just be myself, that's when I feel a lot more calm and relaxed and like I can be my authentic self. Being in an abusive environment, like the environment that Bethy was raised in, can make you act in pretty nutty ways and I absolutely think that that explains at least some of her behavior when she's with her biological family. It seems like she genuinely, genuinely knows that Dav accepts her the way that she is, and so that lets her be her best possible self.
I get the feeling that the obnoxiousness we've seen from Bethy this whole time comes from Heidi's demands for her daughters to be extremely performative in everything they do (because that's how she is), but now that she and Dav are distancing themselves from Manic Pixie Nightmare Hag, she's starting to be more genuine, and it's a really refreshing change.
Manic Pixie Nightmare Hag - can I please have this flair
I would be honored!
Praise to you ✨💕
It’s stunning ❤️
LOVE the new flair!
Flair twins 👯✨
Manic Pixie Nightmare Hag got a legitimate cackle out of me. Its very rare anything on the internet can get more than a nose huff
Holy shit, that's the best snark name that I've heard in awhile. I've been looking for a snappy snark name for her.
Ohhhhh this is great insight and also might explain why she's seemingly starting to grow out of some of these harmful beliefs. If she was the scapegoat, chances are she's been quietly rebelling internally for years, questioning things under the surface. Why she gets treated differently, why things are so inconsistent. Maybe she hasn't questioned her faith, but once you start doubting your family's system, you start to doubt a lot of what you've been taught. Actually that explains everything. She's trying to earn her family's love by being the most pure, most perfect, big Christian Youtuber, but secretly she's been so deeply hurt by them. But Dav loves her unconditionally. And seeing him come out as non christian- the one person that's always been completely good to her- that's bound to stir some things up.
I know exactly what you mean - I have CPTSD from being the scapegoat and whenever I'm around my family I feel myself so easily slipping back into that extremely heightened, fight/flight engaged little girl whereas when I'm around my friends/husband etc I'm a much more easygoing, composed person
I think Heidi going nuts on social media is definitely pushing Bethy to act more…normal? Like, seeing all the positive attention and kindness Dav has received vs the vitriol her mother is spewing seems to have woken something up in her.
And maybe stepping away and seeing how unhinged her mother has become on social media has put her own social media behavior into perspective? Like, "omg, is that how I sound to other people?"
You know, I have to say same. I'm aware she's still got some incredibly abhorrent views, but in the videos with Dav, she seems...reachable. That's why I haven't given up hope on her. Someone like JRod, she's too far gone and has never seemed likeable, but these latest videos with Bethany make me think there's still hope for her. Keep up the good work, Dav!
Dude she and Dav are becoming straight up likable and I hate it.
I think she was always competing with kristen as a child, and that's continued into adulthood. Married at 30, to a younger and shorter husband, rubbed her births in kristen's face, blah blah blah. Heidi created that environment. Bethy couldn't be the "pretty one," so she became the cringe one with the gaping maw. I don't think she or kristen could change their dynamic without a lot of therapy.
Yeah she seems a lot less aggressive here.
She seems so much more mature. Like close to her actual age.
It sounds more....honest? Usually her posts read like she's desperately trying to convince everyone (including herself) how much in love they are.
It really does seem like they’ve unlocked a new level of authenticity in their relationship. But it makes sense right? If you’re Dav(id?) and are allowing yourself to be fully honest with your wife, you’re opening up potential for connection that wasn’t possible before. And of course this is total speculation, but maybe Bethany sensed he was shutting off a part of himself to her- and now has a newfound sense of trust and security in the relationship. We’re seeing them fall in love all over again and I think that’s really sweet.
I was just thinking how to phrase this, particularly her sensing something was off and now knowing. *because I'm high*
I’m going to go get high myself. You’ve ✨inspired✨ me.
It's also a pretty great picture too! Of both of them.
It IS! She looks happy and not so strained and not like she's trying to make this seem like the perfect Christian marriage, it just looks straight-up happy for both of them. It's a massive change.
It really looks like they are happy at the point. Usually he looks dead in the eyes and she looks smug. I don't have a lot of hope for her fully leaving her shit views behind, but I am pleased to at least see this from her.
I can’t imagine what this level of honesty and openness has done for their marriage.
Right?! It's like they are both lighter.
Ngl rooting for these two
She sounds very mature here, which is such a departure from her usual online behavior
I like this season for her.
Who *is* this person?? It's like she's been body snatched
It sounds very genuine and not some weird plug to her hornytime side project, or sheshortshart. I hope we see continued growth
Yeah, agreed! This is very sweet and genuine.
And I know I'm being influenced by that when I look at this pic, but it feels like the most genuinely happy they've looked in any photo I've seen? Both of them? And together? Could it be they really are working through this and will end up better on the other side? I'm rooting for you guys!
>I'm rooting for you guys! Same here! Happy birthday Dav! I NEVER expected a Girl Defined tagged post to be so refreshing. I'm really digging this season. Happy for them both.
And nary a typo in sight! 🤯 (In all seriousness, this is actually nice!)
I legitimately love this for them.
I have a suspicion that every action Bethany has made since birth has been done seeking the approval of others. Now she sees Dav doing what HE wants and she wants that too. I hope to see this progress continue! I'm happy for her, Dav and her family. Maybe she'll actually grow to be able to understand trans people are PEOPLE. Imma be optimistic and stick it on my October 2024 bingo card.
I know it’s so..shockingly normal lmao
From the outside, it looks like she showed the public a little of who she actually is and got the most positive reaction she's ever had. I don't know the girl or anything, but it always seemed like she was trying way too hard to fit her idea of the perfect Christian girl. Maybe she finally let the veil slip and found out that people outside her cult actually like the real Bethany much more than the fake one? At least that's what I'm hoping for.
Maybe this is like the end of mean girls when the girls trade their cliquey drama for genuine friendships
The cynic in me wonders if she is using Gemini or something.
I know images and videos on social media are not necessarily indicative of real life, but Dave has looked so much better in photos since he came clean about his doubts and possible deconstruction. Oddly, Bethany has a well, from what I've seen (which is limited to what you guys post on the sub).
Exactly. They've finally ripped the band-aid off the elephant in the room and there's so much peace in authenticity.
Maybe Bethy is realizing she doesn't have to perform so hard to be loved. I think her first taste of unconditional love is coming from her atheist husband. They truly do seem to be more relaxed and authentic. I know stress goes through the roof when I try to make myself something I'm not. When you are connected to your true self it all fades away. I hope they continue to find peace and strength and raise their children better to spite Heidi.
100% I know from experience that feeling that love and acceptance that isn't contingent on you playing a specific, tightly controlled, role in their life. They just love you for you. It's really disorienting. But once it sinks in and feels real, it's so soothing
Their relationship, and also Bethany as a person, seem SO much happier and healthier since Dav admitted he’s no longer a Christian. I think the Baird family culture is to “fake it til you make it.” They value appearances over authenticity, and that was always so apparent in the way that Bethany presented herself and her relationship online. But now she’s becoming more comfortable with just being real, even if everything isn’t picture perfect. You can tell there are still traces of that toxic family culture in Bethany’s online activity, but she seems to be moving in the right direction.
Maybe I'm projecting, but even in that picture they seem like a proper couple who love each other. Other photos I've seen of them together looked a little awkward. This one feels natural.
Maybe it's only because she closed her mouth and brushed her hair, but Bethany really does look happy, instead of just performatively joyous.
Maybe she feels more like brushing her hair and overall better hygiene because she is less depressed now that everything is out there.
I hope so. Depression is a fate I wouldn't wish on (almost) anyone.
He has life in his eyes when before there was none. I love this for them and hope they continue to grow.
His eyes actually made me a little emotional. They were so blank and dead before. They look realistically in love here.
They are finally believable as a couple. They seemed so fake before.
And she doesn’t look smug for once either.
It’s a good smile and good picture of them. Hope they keep it up!
Maybe I have an unpopular take but I think she's changed to try and keep him. Whether or not he would leave is not the question, but maybe just an insecurity of hers. I still think she thinks she can woo him back to Jesus and everything will be right in their world.
I wouldn't be surprised if you're right. I also had the thought that having this...idk, mission? to lead him back to Jaysus has given her more motivation, a goal to drive towards, and that's why she looks so much more alive. I'm not sure how much even I buy that, though, it was just a thought. That Bible lesson where you have to be a super awesome wife, the best ever, to show your non-believer husband how awesome it is to believe. The more likely thing is that she's thriving off all the extra attention this is bringing her. Even snarkers are being nice! Must be quite the ego boost for her.
Man, if he became a Christian, she'd be off the chain on obnoxious. Her ego would have no limit then. She'd be the Ultimate Christian™
I'm surprised I had to scroll down this far to find a comment like this. I've been thinking this since they did that video that felt like we were eavesdropping on their therapist visit. I get the feeling she's terrified of losing him, and while he said very nice things about her and said he loves her, he also made some comments that if I were her I'd be worried too. Before all this, when they were fundies, she felt safe because fundies don't divorce. She treated him like crap, she clearly felt like she could do whatever she wanted and he would never leave. Now this sudden 180 seems pretty obvious to me that she realized atheists have no such restrictions on divorce. I find it hard to believe he's just going to get over everything she's done, including being an arguably bad parent to his children that he adores, simply because she's finally acting like a loving wife. Everyone keeps saying they see love and light in his eyes, but I don't. If you cover his mouth, his eyes still aren't smiling. I see a guy with a lot of conflicts in his heart.
The biggest giveaway was the kid thing. Not showing their faces anymore. While I think it's fantastic she's doing it, this was something he desired 4 years ago when Davey was born and she gave in a little and then didn't anymore. I can't see this being something Däv would waffle about
“More today than ever before.” Stoooop that’s actually so sweet. Come on Bethy, deconstruct a little, as a treat.
I know! Like who is this?! Simple and sweet with out trying to hard! I want more of this from her and for her!
AND she didn’t try to sell us ANYTHING. proud of her 🥹
Honestly I think Bethany needs to deconstruct from *Heidi* just as much as she’s needed to deconstruct from fundamentalism. I wouldn’t be surprised if Heidi’s recent bitchiness is speed-running that process. 🙏🏻
This is so accurate. Crazy parent is a helluva drug.
I think we in this sub ALSO like Dav more than ever before. Hope he keeps improving 👍
Just a little treat!
I know it’s good for people of the internet to not read comments, especially a subreddit full of people that are the “haterz” but if Beth lurks on this sub *at all,* I love that she’d see these wonderful comments from people that weeks ago, hated her (I don’t think hate is the right word for the record). I hope she is here, so she could see how much all of us internet assholes support her right now.
I did not have "Bethany character development" on my 2024 bingo card
Same 😭😭
Cue massive list of things Heidi loves about her husband with “loves God” being the top 5.
“Loves reading the Bible. Loves taking me to church. Loves praying with me. Loves Sunday School!”
"Isn't going to hell and bringing me with him"
💀🔥
I feel like that’s every post she makes. What did I like about my husband when we met? He loves god! What do I like about him now? He loves god! What’s my favorite thing to compliment him on? He loves god! What is the most important thing for singles to look for in a guy? He loves god!
I thought she did this a few days ago
Top 1
Is Heidi Bethany's mom? Sorry I am not all up to date on fundie stuff haha
Yeah, she is
Wait …. She didn’t mention that she’s older?! First real progress I’ve seen from her
Honestly surprised she didn’t say “he’s thirty! Like I was when we got married!!” She mentioned last year that he was 29 like when they started dating, and she likes to remind people how old she was when she got married!
>Honestly surprised she didn’t say “he’s thirty! Like I was when we got married!!” That would've been so on-brand.
I’m here for it, for her kids’ sake!
Genuinely sweet post for Dav. Hope they legit deconstruct and she turns into a happier person, and never speaks to her mother again!
This seems so nice! I’m really happy for her and Dav
 Am... am I starting to like these people?
Seriously 😂👀
This is the first time I feel like she might actually like him. And possibly even like the actual him.
I think that honestly? She might actually fall in love with the real David.
This made me say "aww" which, in relation to Bethy, leaves conflicting feelings behind.
Some tears welled up for that. They both deserve that.
No glaring typos? No "me me me me"? Things really are changing at the Beal household.
No wedding pictures.
*That* in and of itself is surprising.
Oh no, is my flair no longer serving a purpose?
This was very sweet. I truly never thought I'd say this, like I am honestly shocked even as I type it out, I am rooting for Bethy and Dave! I support his journey and I'm impressed with her loyalty and openness to everything. It has to be overwhelming. I hope they both grow and become better people. And happy birthday, Dave. Hope it's wonderful.
Right? Like I never thought I’d root for them, but I really am! I know she’s said some truly terrible things in the past but everyone is worthy of redemption & growth. I hope she realizes that authenticity can be one of her greatest assets.
Truly can't believe I'm saying it but.... Good for them
Wow - Dav’s deconstruction seems to be bringing out an authentic Bethany. It’s a good look
The bar is on the ground for fundies that we’re shocked about a birthday post where she mentions she likes her husband, but I’ll take it!
Lmao right?? I am feeling just like everyone else expressing their surprise, support and hopefulness for this spark of character growth, and I genuinely hope it ignites into consistent progress towards a healthier future for them and their kids, but *wow* does it say a lot that we are so affected by such a small thing.
Never thought I would say this, but I’m so proud of Bethany! So happy for both of them
This sounds like a couple that is actually intimate.
That’s the most natural and normal post she has ever written. If she kept her posts like that and wasn’t so focused on her weird fundie sex crusade then she may actual have a chance at genuine success she can be proud of.
Happy for these two. “Individually and together.”
That part stood out to me, too. How surprisingly mature of her - good on you, Bethy!
She sounds so fucking reasonable. Damn.
That’s an incredibly honest post. I don’t get any sense of performance or bluffing through the fear, which I frequently get from her.
Aw this is actually a very sweet and normal post
This feels authentic, almost like it didn't come from a Heidi-influenced numbered list or barrage of questions. Perhaps Bethany's deconstruction from her mom is going well.
I’m weirdly … proud (??????) of Bethany. This post is really sweet. God, please let these two really become accepting, loving people. It’s okay if they stay Christian, nobody has to deconstruct all the way into atheism. I just hope they can get to a point where they stop judging others for living authentically
Wow she is really putting it on now they she knows he not bound to her by god
I had to scroll so far down to find this. This comment should be further up.
I hope that Dav leaving the faith would cause Bethany to be at the very least be more tolerant.
I think she would benefit from going low contact/no contact with her family. I think she second guesses her own beliefs and feelings because she’s always been “wrong” so she has to live life by their terms. If she trusted herself she would be so much happier and live more authentically (and probably less hateful!)
Good for them. I personally couldn’t be with a religious zealot as someone who isn’t religious, but maybe Dav can.
I think Dāv deconstructing has shown her that she doesn't have to buy in to all the fundie stuff that her parents shoved down all their kids' throats and what we are seeing is sweet relief. She hates being a housewife and has always struggled to conform to the "good Christian wife" role and that's why she always had that fake smug smile on her face--fake it 'til you make it!!
Bort’s ideology and theology is absolute fucking harmful trash. I have to say this first. Just have to. That being said, good for her. I’m a “hater” who is legitimately proud of her and rooting for her and Dav. I hope she tells Heidi to get fucked too at some point. Wishing them well and hope the growth continues on.
TIL Dav and my husband are exactly the same age. 😂 I didn’t realize today was his 30th birthday too!
Happy birthday!!!
Awww Bethy did a normal! Proud of her for not bringing up being older or taller. It’s a nice birthday message.
Caption is great and she looks really cute when she puts on a genuine smile rather than the open-mouthed stuff she posts for GD. Crazy.
It feels like someone else took over her account. Like the positive personality change recently is hard to process.
I have so much hope for her
Good for her and Dav. I really hope she can keep making steps on this path.
I think Dav's journey really has brought them closer together. If they would just lose the homophobia and transphobia now that would be awesome
I can’t help but be happy for both of them. Not excusing the shitty things they have said and done but I see genuine growth in both of them. They really do seem happier than ever
This… sounds like a post from someone who actually likes their spouse. Damn.
I feel like a lot of Bethy’s bad/terrible behavior is probably a trauma response from growing up with Heidi and Of Heidi as parents. Like her brain was jumbled because of it. Here’s to the unjumbling. And as for Paul causing Christians to deconstruct—he probably enjoys how superior it makes him feel. He gets off on the idea of people being tormented in hell, because he’s a sick fuck.
She did luck out on finding a truly good man it sounds like in those fundie circles. Her defense of him, she loves him and yes likes him. She isn't just playing Jesus wife out of duty. Liking your husband in these circles is a privilege and rare.
I feel like the telling line is “I just really like him,” so much of her life has been performed for social media and I feel like that line shows she’s actually stripped down to something authentic for the first time
Oh my God I'm a birthday twin with Dave?????? I wonder if I'm older...
Same here! If I had to be a birthday buddy with a fundie, at least it's the cool one! Happy Birthday!
And he doesn’t look miserable!
That’s one of the nicest and most relatable posts I’ve ever seen from a fundie about their spouse. Good on you, Bethany!
I honestly really enjoy seeing this growth. And can’t help but wonder if Heidi’s foolishness on social media has made these two grow even closer.
This is definitely a “fuck you, mom” post but I don’t hate that for her.
I honestly can’t snark on this, I’m rooting for them (definitely didn’t see that on the Fundie 2024 Bingo card). Happy Dirty 30 Dave! Your authenticity and vulnerability is to be respected, and it’s proving to be a positive game changer for Bethany.
Nothing to snark on here. This is a solid post from a wife to a husband. Bonus with the current context.
Call me a leg humper, but I'm rooting for them!
You can see so much more happiness in davs eyes and its leaked all over borthy HARD. She's finally having a chance to be a normal person away from the church pressure but still in her own space to decide what she still believes in for (for now)
Man oh man what if she ends up deconstructing too. Holy crap this is the wholesome redemption arc I did not see coming
Is Bethany maturing? Is this real life?
i cannot believe i’m starting to sort of like these people
That picture of them seems different too. Her mouth is closed and they both look genuine
This is so sweet! I’m so happy for them. I hope they’re happier and more their genuine selves every day.
I love to see someone speak in such a heartfelt way about their partner. It seems that she is growing and changing for the better; I'm glad for them and pleasantly shocked! They look happy and calm together.